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Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements, now how do you want their placements sir?"
M.D: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room & close the door, leave them alone & come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:-
1) If they are counting the bricks, Put them in Accounts deptt.
2) If they are re-counting the bricks, Put them in Auditing.
3) If they have messed up the whole room with the bricks, Put them in Engineering.
4) If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, Put them in Planning.
5) If they are throwing the bricks at each other, Put them in Operations.
6) If they are sleeping, Put them in Security.
7) If they have broken the bricks into pieces, Put them in Information Technology.
8) If they are sitting idle, Put them in Human Resources.
9) If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, Put them in Sales.
10) If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.
11) If they are staring out of the window, Put them in Strategic Planning.
And.......
12) If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
😂🤣😃😁😅😜6 -
I broke up with my Girlfriend at restaurant and She started crying, everyone thought i had proposed so they started Clapping. 😂🤣😎13
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Junior dev: asks me an easy question cuz he's too lazy to figure it out
Me: listening, thinking he's gonna waste my time again 😓
Senior dev: eavesdrops and helps him out
Me: saved me, woohoo 😎
*Few minutes later*
Senior dev: "by the time you finished asking this question, you could have compiled the code yourself to see what happens"
Me: 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂4 -
Him: Is Hava a type of programming language?
Me: What?
Him: Hava!
Me: *looks at what he's looking at*
That's fucking Java 🤣😂11 -
Working in the IT Department is just funny man. Sometimes I wonder if I'm dumb, too smart to answer these dumb questions or these clients are just asking questions they already have answers to that I don't.
Client: Hey, can you please give X access to Y's Dropbox? He gets error saying he doesn't have access to the file.
Me: Uhh, you have to share a link to the specific file you want to share with X. Then only he can access it.
Client: Can you send him the link?
Me: Uhhhh, what link?
Client: The link to the file.
Me: Who created the file you want to share?
Client: My boss did. And he wants me to send the link to X. But I don't have the link so he said to check with IT.
Me (in my mind): WTF!!!!
Me: Ok, ask your boss to share the link to the file he created with you then you can send it to Y. He can also send it to Y directly himself. IT doesn't have and has no idea of what file your boss created. Only your boss knows.
Client: Ok, hold on let me check with him..
Client gets back on the phone.. "he said he deleted the file".
Me: Well, there's no file to share here.
Client: Can you find it?
Me: Call Dropbox.
Client: do you have his number?
Me: Who?
Client: Dropbox..
At this point I started laughing.. 😂😂😂🤣🤣
Me: Dropbox is a company.
Client: Ok, thank you. I'll call Dropbox.
At this point, I'm wondering. If this client thought Dropbox was person, then what did she mean by her initial question? 🤔
Can this be real life? This happened less than an hour ago, and going home now still confused about this whole situation. 😂😂5 -
!rant
In our advanced software engineering lecture everyone has to hold a free presentation about about an own topic.
One of my fellow students picked “failed IT large-scale projects” and - of course - had some german examples with him. You know, we germans are good in failing large projects🤣
He has chosen “FISCUS”, a project that wanted to unify the german tax system. It was a FIaSCUS. 13 years without any progess. 13 ... years ...
ok, but this is, where the story begins. The student then began to enumerate the reasons, why it has failed.
He told about bad architectures and stuff like that until the teacher interrupted him.
“No, that’s false. We had the problem, that some states, blablabla”
The important word was the “we” and we realized, that this student has by chance picked exactly that big project in which our teacher was the PM.
What the Heck.
He than had to think triple, about everything he had planed to say😂5 -
!Rant
Yassss 🙌🏼 I'm dying. Your dog 🐶😂🤣
"Get your devRant custom cartoon avatar on stickers! We can now print glossy sticky-back 1.75" (4.5cm) circles of your personalized avatar to place on your laptop, your refrigerator, your dog, wherever!"
@dfox genius
1 -
Why would someone in the fucking year of 2018 use fucking IE and only IE?
People need to understand that the sole purpose of IE is to download chrome🤣😂
No matter the framework/language you use it is guaranteed to crash in IE.
It's gonna be a glorious day😂15 -
The sad thing is no matter what we do we are all a variation of homer 😂🤣
Borrowed from https://medium.com/@cscalfani/...
1 -
So, I got a call from my dad today asking me how to forward an image on WhatsApp.
He kept saying, "I have made it blue, now what?"
It took me a minute to realise that he was referring to 'long press an image to highlight it' 🤣😂
(He had clicked the left arrow to reply instead of the right one that forwards and he was confused that it kept opening the keyboard. It was the sweetest and the funniest thing!)4 -
Programmer on his wedding day
Share this with a friend who'll be fixing issues and answering client calls on their wedding 😂🤣
9 -
!rant
Whenever I open someone elses code, I do a project wide search for "FUCK".
Found many of these:
die("FUCK")
// fuck this
// #todo FUCK
Works on github as well. 😂🤣1 -
That moment when...
You’re supposed to be doing work.
You have a deadline.
It’s your sister’s baby shower and you promised to help.
Sis comes over every day to hang with family.
I’ve still not managed to get any work done today, video games and hanging and baking have had my time 🤣
I was up from 12-1 making jelly shots from scratch because my mum wanted blue ones and couldn’t find any blue jelly 😂
They’re bubblegum and for my first attempt I think they look pretty sick.
Will have to find out whether they set in the morning 🙈
2 -
Translation: Husband who's addicted to video game, stabbed to death by wife.
When i heard about declaring video game addiction being a disease, i thought they meant it was because people died..but not like this!😂🤣😂
6 -
After a few weeks of fixing other people’s issues, I’ve gone from fuming mad to uncontrollable maniacal laughter. 😂😂😂 It’s so bad now that I just laugh hysterically when I find another issue. I can’t even! 🤣
Anyone else ever reach the maniacal laugher phase of debugging?3 -
In other news ... The company that booted me and 5 colleagues in april had a water leak and now the entire sales floor was flooded, resulting in +10.000 euro water damage 🤣 good luck making your Q1 sales targets 🤣
Karma much bitches 😂3 -
Overheard: "I'll need to get in touch with my Infrastructure Architecture Innovation Team"
😂🤣😅😂🤣😅
Why not just call them team buzzwords. Omg.3 -
Hah, a SaaS platform approached me about my open source project. They said, "let's collaborate". After getting into it they said, would you mind replacing xyz in your library with our platform?
Me: Replacing?
I won't go through the rest of the convo since it reveals too much. But damn nice way to stamp out competition. Just kill all the open source frameworks that provide alternatives to your product.1 -
Have a nice weekend programmer's!!!!!
I hope your code behaves on Monday the same way it did on Friday.....🤣😂🤣2 -
My coworker just replied to a customer’s out of office email. 😂
“Thank you for letting us know that you will be out of the office” 🤣
The subject of the email is “Re: Automatic reply: Data Export - Items Sold” 🤣🤣🤣 -
Front End Developer's work life balance 🤣
It might also be frustrating to keep changing the same design. 🤣😂
6 -
🤣 in the university I have a teacher who is really a Microsoft hater 🤣🤣 I'm always coding another things when I'm in his classes but yesterday I was coding in C# so he got angry and kicked me from the classroom 😂😂😂 what do you think?21
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Just arrived for an interview for my very first coding job. Everyone wish me luck! I'm gonna fuck up their shit for real. 😂🤣🤣5
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So today my colleague is installing new dependency to our react native project and do something cool with it.
Him: I already push it in new branch and make a pr, would you review and merge it to master.
Me: ok let me try first.
.
.
Me: it is not working, i get this error.
Him: try change these xxx in xcode.
Me: ok, wait.
.
.
Me: now I get this error
Him: hmm... Try 'react-native link xxxx'
Me: ok
.
.
Me: I get same error like first error.
Him: now try 'react-native unlink xxxx'
Me: hmm... Wait.
.
.
Me: I still get same error, what's wrong?
Him: I don't know, it's working in my mechine .
*Me 'git reset - - hard' and try to build again.
**After building
Me: hey it's working after I git reset lol.
Him: nice
Me: let me clone it and try 1 more time.
*after cloning and building
.
.
Me: I still get same error like 1st error hahaha.
Him: so try to 'react-native link xxx' again.
Me: OKkK
.
.
Me: still get same error
Him: try git reset and build again
Me: hmm
.
.
*after git reset and build again
Me: I still get same error. I think the correct steps is :
1. Clone
2. Do something in xcode
3. React native link
4. React native unlink
5. Git reset - - hard
6. Build
I can't stop laughing 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂 -
Last night's cronjob was the first time I broke everything on the network via my automation. Fixed it before business hours of our clients.
At least I learned my lesson? 😀😁😂🤣😃😃😄😅 -
"Meet the new 'Iphone Tennis'(XS) , or should i say 'Iphone excess'? XD"
"Meanwhile , we are also launching an iphone ten- Hour(XR) which we will completely validate google's point of having a single camera and uselessness of our over-hyped dual camera " -
Finally I've got time to set up my old buddy ☺️.. slowly slowly this night getting more productive 😂🤣
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So part of my ok assignment was to Code a simple quize game. So I used a while loop to initiate the quiz. One of the constraints was that after 6 questions answered wrong the quize ends and if you make it to the end of the quize it gives you the number of questions you got wrong. 🤣 The damn code always ran to the end despite having gotten 6questions wrong.
The problem ? Turns out I needed a break. 😂😂😂 Pun intended. -
I just finished working on an obfuscator
Its like voldomort horcruxes with Chinese and Japanese chars every object and every everything 😂 for android and just looked at the time and hoooooooooly shiot ita 5:55 am 😂
The result is just great . Finally i can sleep 😂🤣 -
Whether you're a newbie or a programmer with 10+ years of experience, you'll always go to StackOverflow and GitHub 🤣😂
6 -
In my office,
My fren was facing problem installing rabbitMq so he contacted the IT guy. He told please try installing tortoiseGit..🤣😂2 -
I love it when Friday is actually a good day..
Going through some Java code now (which is not normally fun for me), I stumbled onto a brilliant little variable name: `busyComming`.
😅😂🤣1 -
Do you prefer audiobooks? Are you an active medium reader? Do you want audio for the medium articles you read? Are you out of your free medium articles?😢 My Scrapy is here for the rescue.💸
This is a simple application of web scraping, it scrapes the articles of medium and allows you to read or hear the article. If you use this on computer there will be a number of accents in the option.
The audio feature is provided only to the premium medium users, so here comes My Scrapy to save your 5$/month. 💸
.
Tech Stack used :
Python, beautiful soup, Django, speech synthesis
PS: This application was built for educational purpose.
Fun Fact: You can still read any medium articles if they are asking you to upgrade, you must be wondering how? Well, copy the link of the article and browse it in incognito mode on any browser or sign out and read it.😂🤣
githublink:
https://github.com/globefire/...
demo link:
https://youtube.com/watch/...
instagram link:
https://instagram.com/p/...3 -
Are you out of your free medium articles?😢 My Scrapy is here for the rescue.💸
This is simple application of web scraping, it scrapes the articles of medium and allows you to read or hear the article. If you use this on computer there will be a number of accents in the option.
The audio feature is provided only to the premium medium users, so here comes My Scrapy to save your 5$/month. 💸
.
Tech Stack used :
Python, beautiful soup, Django, speech synthesis
.
PS: This application was built for educational purpose and the source code for this application is not open sourced anywhere.
Fun Fact : You can still read any medium articles if they ask you to upgrade, you must be wondering how? Well, copy the link of the article and browse it in incognito mode on any browser.😂🤣
Try the app and lemme know if you liked it:
https://mymediumscraper.herokuapp.com/...4 -
Working on some documentations on MS word and I'm pressing ctrl+space for auto complete!!🤣🤣🤣 Not only that ctrl+click for multiple cursor!!! 😂😂😂😂😂2
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When you play on lagacy shit spaghetti monster code with a fucking ass crack boss don't understand anything and bullshit you (yaya that code is perfect) !
I just want to drop that fucking job full of shit
Week 2 😂🤣😭 8 months come2 -
I am going to write my thesis on Electron and plan to create another Postgres client as everything i found does not serve my need.
So my questions are: What features do u like in a Postgres client
Also Ultimate question 🙋 What would it be named 🤣😂7 -
Apple denied the bugs that I reported , stating it's a duplicate of a future bug😂😂 I guess bug report id are on a rolling basis nd they jus said 1>2 🤣🤣 WTF!! over it they fixed the bug...heights of cowardly acts😕
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im in my finals and we are having a course that requires project in python ,django to be specific , i downloaded a four hour python video for over a month, i ve been feeling reluctant to watch it, felt python is too simple to take such time , just continued with my django 🤣😂😂😘
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Try to teach to my girlfriend what is a class and what is a object.
Class is methods and attributes
My girlfriend starting sing "dans l'attribut de Dana" 😂🤣
Course is finish for today 🤣6 -
Imagine you are in a small BPO company and your client work hours is 2pm - 10pm. Then your BPO manager will set up a 1 hour meeting at 8am 🤣 so basically your personal time will be used for that meeting.
Good luck to your body clock 😂2 -
i dont need any one to tell me devrant was built with RN, i think its high time they start rebuilding it with flutter for better preformance 🤣😂😂2
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I forgot every thing and watch funny YouTube videos! And in between watching them I blame myself get depressed get angry!
I think I might be bipolar! 🤔🤣😀😂☹️3 -
The most fun thing in boring online class is when someone accidentally switch on mic and speak things unknowingly🤣🤣🤣... It will wake the class for atleast some minutes😂4
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