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When your boss asks you to debug some crappy legacy code and you need to bring in the heavy artillery
7 -
I made a wordpress plugin
(don't ask, it's practice for an internship)
The plugin turns every element that does not have a child into an image of a rubber ducky at a speed of 6 rubber ducks a minute.
13 -
It was great meeting some fellow ranters of this awesome community! Thanks for the nice evening and special thanks for @linuxxx for the ducky 😄
16 -
I found a duck today and just had to put a little cape on it 😂
I guess you could say..I really want the d 😏
Sadly I could not convince it to become my companion 😭
8 -
!rant.
I've worked for about two months at my (first) job. Its amazing.
We create audio/video software for the products we make.
There are 9 programmers besides me, I'm the only junior. And I'm still learning my way around the code, but they still value my input.
We only do stand ups for 5-10 min, like it should.
One if my colleagues helps me often when I have questions, so I've nicknamed him ducky.
My pm is awesome, he's great at coding and a great manager.
When we work overtime, the department pays for delivery food and drinks.
And we've already gone on 2 trips with the department, mountain biking and a BBQ.
I love my job and I hope that I'll soon be good enough to ask less questions.3 -
*How do devRanters take a bath*
same as everyone!
you got your soap...
shampoo...
rubber ducky with cape...6 -
The presentation with @wiardvanrij was awesome! Didn't have much time to talk but we did socialize a little and I got myself a devRant shirt, mousemat, ducky and some stickers from a box of devRant merch 😊
Today was great!21 -
Guy I work with: Hey can I borrow you for a minute
Me: sure. What do you need?
Him: so this is a project me an the other dev worked on
Me thinking: Well I know he did it all and sent you the project so don't tell me you worked on it
Him: so we use it to do this and this and send an email to this new account I made because (2 minute explanation)
Me thinking: I don't care. Just tell me what your issue is! I already know what it is and does from what you told me the last time when you showed me. Which took an hour of my time.
Him: so he sent me this code which is called <Descriptive name> and in the method we have variables call <descriptive name> and it returns a <variable name>
Me thinking: You mother fucker! I don't give a shit what your method is named, what it the variable names are, and you don't need to read through every line of code to me! Just from the descriptive name you just said I know what it does! What the fuck is your issue!?
Him: we also have these other methods. This one is called <Descriptive name> which does...
Me: are you fucking seriously going to read me your code line by line and tell me what you named your variables AGAIN!?
Him: and we named this one <descriptive name>
Me: you mother fucker...
Him: and it calls this stored procedure. (Literally opens the stored procedure and shows me) and it is called...which has parameters called... And it is a select query that inserts
45 minutes later after he finishes explaining all 3 pages of his code and his 5 stored procedures that the other dev wrote...
Him: So anyway, back to this method. I need to know where to put this method. The other dev said to put it in this file, but where do you think I should put it in here? Should I place it after this last one or before it?
Me thinking: You fucking wasted my fucking time just to ask where to place your mother fucking method that the other dev sent to you in a project with only 3 files, all less than 500 lines of code with comments and regions that actually tell you what you should put there and 5 small stored procedures that were not even relevant to your issue! Why the fuck did you need to treat me as a rubber ducky which would fly away if you did have one because you didn't have an issue, you just didn't know where to put your fucking code! FUCK YOUR METHOD!
Me: Where ever you want
Him: Well I think it won't work if I placed it before this method.
I walked away after that. What a waste of time and an insult to my skills and really unchallenging. He's been coding for years and still can't understand anything code related. I'm tired if helping him. Every time he needs something he always has to read through and explain his shit just to ask me things like this. One time he asked me what to name his variable and another his project. More recently he asked why he couldn't get his project he found online to work. The error clearly stated he needed to use c# 7. His initial solution was to change his sql connection string. 😑
He should just go back to setting up computers and fixing printers. At least then he would never be in the office to bug me or the other dev with things like this.7 -
The most famous ranter in devRant (maybe) rants now due to cleaning.
LG Ultrawide 29" monitor
Logitech bluetooth keyboard K380
Logitech wireless mouse B175
Rubber ducky
LG UltraPC laptop (not in pic)
- Intel core i5 7th gen
- 8gb ram
- 256gb ssd + external 1tb hdd
- NVIDIA GeForce 940MX
12 -
My gf got me my first "rubber ducky". He is a bit sarcastic and rough on my code but I mean... He's Deadpool!!
5 -
My parents r pretty helpful with me programming. They r very supportive 😊😊
I even tell my mom how things work and she takes a lot of interest in understanding as well! She is my own rubber ducky ❤️❤️
My dad is busy and not a tech minded person so he is kinda ignorant about tech, but never stops encouraging me 😊😊
Go my mom and dad!! Yaaay 😍😍2 -
Awhhh yeahhh!
Thanks @dfox and @trogus, y’all are cool kids!
These are gonna go all over the place!
Also, pretty sure my ducky is in the post office, being delivered Monday 😄
Y’all are awesome!
6 -
Somewhere in a lonely break room
There's a guy starting to realize that eternal hell has been unleashed unto him.
It's two a.m.
It's two a.m.
The boss has gone
I'm sitting here waitin'
This desktop's slow
I am getting tired of fixin' all my coworkers' problems
Yeah there's a bug on the loose
Errors in the code
This is unreadable
Rubber ducky can't help
I cannot debug, my whole life spins into a frenzy
Help I'm slippin' into the programming zone
Git push to the prod
Set up a repo
My hard drive just crashed
All my code is gone
Where am I to go
Now that I've broke my distro
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow
I'm falling down a spiral
Solution unkown
Disgusting legacy, ugly code
Can't get no connection
Can't get through to commit
Well the night weights heavy
On my confused mind
Where's the error on this line
When the CEO comes
He knows damn well
To keep his distance
And he says
Help I'm slippin' into the programming zone
Git push to the prod
Set up a repo
My hard drive just crashed
All my code is gone
Where am I to go
Now that I've broke my distro
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow4 -
Top advice to give to a new dev? Go back in time and download devRant, then buy a rubber ducky. Yes, I finally got mine 👍🏻
3 -
A box with 20 blotters of LSD, a bottle of Tawny Port, some rock climber's hand strength training clay which is great against RSI, a very undomesticated purring feline, some leatherworking tools (making a new folding case for my phone), 2 sesame bagels with cream cheese, a piece of cherry wood, two routers (one woodworking, one internet), one Ducky Horizon and one ErgoDox keyboard, two boxes of baby wipes and a bottle of formula, an expired ticket to a corona-cancelled concert, my sleeping newborn daughter wrapped in a black hoodie, a bottle of cognac, 3x 1440p displays, a chunk of chocolate, one freshly brewed cortado, a bottle of dimethylsulfoxide, 3 laptops, a TV remote, a glass of water, and one bolt which was left over from an IKEA box but I'm unsure which furniture item it belongs to.4
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My coach during my first internship. The first 4 weeks he took the time to pair program at least 3 hours a day with me. He needed the time for his own work but still invested in me. His technical prowess was insane. His code was so easy to read that it took me less than 3 weeks to get to know the 500,000+ lines codebase. He could explain the most complex stuff at such a fundamental level. After those 4 weeks of coaching I wasn't an intern anymore. I was an actual member of the team. Also learned a lot of useful non-technical skills like planning and communication from him.
Then after those 4 weeks he resigned and started working for another company. At the time I found it a dick move. It took me months to realize he managed to get an intern with 0 experience so comfortable around a code base that everybody treated me as a worthy colleague and engineer. It was a matter of days before people would ask me hard questions and I found I could answer each and everyone of them.
Pure sensei this guy was. Such a different level of knowledge and ability. I hope to become such a model for all of my students. -
!rant
My fucking awesome ass JS #SwagDuckie arrived!
Awesomeeeeeeeee!
Also, stickers arrived the other day. I ended up mounting them on Black because the Apple logo shining through annoyed me 😊
Now I need a vinyl design that looks like a duckie for the back of the laptop.
Thanks @dfox, @trogus; international shipping to the uk was remarkably fast, I was shocked.
13 -
Instead of investing in a rubber ducky for explaining my coding bugs I decided to have Alan Turing be my listener. At least he'll be more understanding than a pretentious biased rubber duck!
2 -
*Breathes in and out*
WHO THE FUCKING FUCK MESSED WITH THE WLAN ON THE PI?!
WHY THE FLYING FUCK DOESNT wlan0 WORK WITH THE NEW STRETCH IMAGE?!
WHO THE FUCK PROGRAMMED
THIS SHIT OF AN IMAGE?!
EVEN THE SHUTDOWN ISNT WORKING PROPERLY!
I FUCKING LOVED THE OLD JESSIE ONE! OK!!
*Begins to smash head to table*
WHY THE FUUUUCK DOESNT THIS WORK!
PLEASE! FFS IT JUST WONT CONNECT!
*Head begins to bleed*
FUCK!!!
*Stops smashing head*
*Tried once again*
Huh, it takes Longer now...
Error...
FUCKING FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
I HAD SO HIGH HOPES FOR THIS SHIT TO WORK! PLEASE RELIEVE ME OF THIS FUCKING BAD DREAM!
*Takes a Deep breath once again*
Shutdown -i
Error, another user is connected.
THIS CANT FUCKING BE! IM THE ONLY FUCKING USER ON THIS WIFI AND PI!
THIS SHIT MUST BE KIDDING ME!
AND NOW IT WONT SHUT DOWN!
*Realizes that I ran out of fucks to give*
OK...
IM NOT ONLY PULLING THE PLUG NOW, I WILL BE PULLING THE GODDAM FUSE OF MY ROOM!!
EVEN MY DUCKY DIDNT HELP ME!
THIS IS USELESS!
FUCK.
btw, there should be Raspberry Pi Capes.9 -
Matryoshkas are better companions than Ducks, and here's why:
-Made with wood. The material of Men! No industrialized rubber to spread Capitalist propaganda
-Multi-layer. Explain your code with different levels of complexity. Babushka Matryoshka is keen on C!
-Never feel alone. Maybe you want some intimate one on one, maybe you want a whole party of helpers, all thanks to pocket dimensions (included with the Matryoshkas).
So what's your excuse for not having a Matryoshka Comrade cyka!
9 -
Hearing "you just saved me from doing hours of mindless work every week"
In the end, that's what we're for. First time hearing it was so rewarding. It's a shame we don't hear it more. Could keep me going eternally.2 -
An infinite number of Rubber Duckys typing randomly on an infinite number of keyboards will eventually create half life 3.
Also, a single Rubber Ducky typing randomly on a single keyboard, left alone and unobserved has both created half life 3 and not created half life 3 at the same time.1 -
I kept getting the same AttributeError like 15 times in a row and picked up my graduation rubber ducky and screamed "I DONT FUCKING KNOW"1
-
I built a chrome extension that brings a digital rubber duck to your browser for debugging, companionship and laughs - the perfect companion for a dev. :)
The logo was inspired from Devrant's ducks too, and the project is open source.
You'll find the GitHub repo here - https://github.com/rameshaditya/...
Do give it a star if you like it, that would make my day! :)3 -
Well my home office is a proper mess currently. It isn't so much an office as a corner desk in the child's nursery, but house hunting went on hold.
It features the likes of my devrant ducky, crazy aarons thinking putty, a stuffed gnu, and a galileo thermometer among other paraphernalia; also a plastic goat that screams when I push down on it. That last one is a huge help to me these last few weeks.
1 -
Just got those 1k ++ and finally placed the rubber ducky on my desk.
Feels like I have achieved something great in life 😎
7 -
It really sucks being the senior guy sometimes because it means there's nobody above you that you can bounce questions off of. No mentor. Just random people on the internet (and stack overflow, eww.)
The rubber ducky on my monitor can only go so far.
It's a constant worry of "am I writing garbage?" and "is there a better way to do this?"
I'd kill for a QA group that I could actually send some of my stuff to and get feedback.2 -
Not mine but I always find this one very amusing: the story a mail server that refuses to deliver mail past 500 physical miles.
https://ibiblio.org/harris/...1 -
I was asked to check something today that was handed over on a USB stick. "Could you check that the file structure is correct". Of course I said. Then I prepared my camera, changed the insides of the stick to my rubber ducky, wrote a little script and uploaded it. Oh yea and corrected the structure.
The face of the colleague was priceless when I brought back the stick and he sticked it right into his computer.
The script was roughly:
- open browser
- open history
- search "porn"
- select second row
- enter
=D office pranks <32 -
!rant
"if you wrote good Code, you dont have to debug it. But if its Bad Code, you will spend 90% of your Time Talking to a Rubber Ducky"
-Me right now
(Or someone other but probably me)1 -
My rubber ducky is a terrifying alien species from the exoplanet TRAPPIST-1B, but also a swear jar.
3 -
It’s my “duck” in a box!
https://g.co/kgs/dbFrcE
Would have paid extra for the DevRant devs to sign my duck 😂 @dfox and @trogus.
Thanks for keeping new and exciting things compiling in the community, I think I speak for everyone when I say that we’re lucky and proud to be apart of it!5 -
Just convinced my manager to get us a 3D printer so we can print out rubber duckies.
Now the hard part comes in.
Where do i find a similar model for the devRant rubber ducky.
I like the rubber duckies they used to have in the store.12 -
Started a new game dev job. Fortunately, they already have a Rubber Ducky chilling at the desk. Only thing, it's less of a duck and more of an evil imperial guard with a lust for bloodshed. I hope he likes C++.
1 -
I think I must be in here somewhere but, I do have a guy that takes the ducky method too seriously and gas audible conversations with himself.1
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Don't know if i'm alone or not.. so i'm gonna leak my secret that my rubber ducky is actually a slack channel i made in my company's slack
-
Become a farmer within a tight-knit community of some 100 people. Have a couple of cows, chickens, sheep, crops, fruit trees, ... Everybody takes care of each other and we're (mostly) self-sufficient.
Preferably with some good hiking areas and nice vistas nearby.4 -
It was called a hackathon, but was probably more a CTF on a distributed TOR network. Organized by Dutch tax police (FIOD) for students. Finished it single-handledly in 18 hours, in front of several teams consisting of 6 people. Immediately got a job offer, but declined since I still wanted to do a master's :)2
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Take the worst possible estimate you can come up with. Multiply by 3.
Usually ends up pretty close in my case at least.3 -
As a teacher myself, I will always advice young people to go to school. Though I imagine it differs on the quality of education in your country.
I live in the Netherlands and here it's quite good overall. It's no Ivy League and there are plenty of exceptions but overall any technical study here is a good study.
I also teach at a small school (220 software engineering students) so I actually know my students and what generally need to get ahead.
But my main reasons for actually doing a study instead of going the self-taught route:
1. You spend +/- 4 years in presence of peers that are more or less in the same life phase as you are. You will make friends for life.
2. Companies value a diploma. Good for you that you landed a job on your 19th. Just wait until your 25, wanna switch jobs and don't even get to the second round of any application process because your CV does not list a diploma. This might change in the future but not for the next 5-10 years.
3. You will learn foundational stuff about most thing IT-related. Some things you'll never use. Some thing you'll use unknowingly every single day
4. It teaches discipline without major impact on your life if you fail something. OK, you failed a course. So what? Take it next year and take the time to do a side-project or internship during your study delays. It will teach you some life lessons without it costing you a job or your life savings, and you get some extra time to learn as well!
5. Retirement age by the time you retire will be 75. There's plenty of time to work. Why not spend 4 years with peers in a relatively safe and fun environment first?
TL;DR - small schools are actually fun, attend one -
I've shown my devDuck to other people in my school. At first, they did not understand but I initiated them to how a ducky can be useful and now they're playing with my duck (yeah, duck) and they're so noisy I'm going to regret it1
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Weekly Rant-
My best office prank by far was at my high school. First, I bought a USB rubber ducky and programmed it to backdoor my friends school computer with netcat and a batch file that ran in the background so that I could connect to his computer any time inconspicuously. The next day, I injected his computer with the drive when he went to turn in some papers.
You should've seen the look on his face when his computer started having conversations with the teacher. -
Dear recruiters just because I apply to a specific job online (dice) does not mean I want to be called about jobs in ducky places I would never relocate or in the town I would like to move from.1
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Basically an IMDb clone that reads my IMDb watchlist. I can add counts to it though (i.e. I watched a movie 10 times). Every day it runs runs the changes of that day through the OMDb API and then shows the amount of time I could've spent not watching movies on a dashboard.
Currently I've spent almost 10% of my life watching movies and series. Dear lord. Why did I make this.5 -
In PHP, strings are classes, functions, whatever you them to be. I feel so filthy, I need a shower after typing this.
3 -
Just showing off the devRant stressball...
I don't have an actual rubber-ducky, but I have a whole gaggle of rubber-ducky-stand-ins who help me debug.
Most of them happen to be skulls. (I have quite a few more scattered around the office). I guess it's an aesthetic... #skullsthetic?
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Can't u get a frree devrant ducky, for sticking around some years here? Who is listing jobs in the Netherlands?5
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It's oddly satisfying to have a ducky on my avatars desk. Thanks everyone for the upvotes. Cheers!!! 😁🍻
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I just woke up from a lucid dream.
I could really control the situation, but it was fun telling my mate how IT stuff works LOL.
It's 3.22 am for me rn.
I fucking told my classmate how the proxy server at our school works. How the packets are being sent and received, how they get cached at the proxy server and through how many nodes they approximately get.
PS: I don't have a rubber ducky or whatever you call it to tell the problems of the program to it.7 -
My version of a rubber ducky
Used to be a minion painted on it, but it's long gone. So I use a whiteboard marker to draw stupid faces on it.
1 -
!rant
What does everyone keep on their desk? I have a rubber ducky for debugging, Google glasses for days I want to threaten to leave, and a few poker chips to play with when I need to think.1 -
My worst fight with a dev was definitely that time I tried to break the mould and build this incredibly tedious VB app to automate data handling through Excel, PowerPoint and Outlook. The other dev always said "you can do this" and "come on, it's not rocket science" and I was always like "yeah, dude, sure, but can you help me with this bit here, please, I'm so stuck on it?" He'd be all like "ofc bro, I got your back", but when it came to the actual work that needed to be done, he was all silent. Needless to say, now I have a rubber ducky to help me with my dev needs, as talking to myself felt like a nightmare. Guess that's what other people feel like when I strike up a conversation with them, too.
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I use this little guy as a rubber ducky now. He's useful when I'm trying to study stuff which is particularly hard to remember.
5 -
!rant
Who here uses mechanical keyboards at work?
I have an old razor at home with Cherry MX Blue switches, very noisy so definitly not suited when around co-workers.
Any recomendations on silent boards suitable for office life? I've looked at the Logitech g413 with romer-g switches but I am unsure if these are pleasant to work with.
I am also considering POK3R, Ducky One or WASD with Cherry MX Brown switches specifically for office. Would like to hear experiences from fellow devs who prefer mechanical keyboards and use them around co-workers.2 -
Getting the company to sit me down next to one of their teams for a couple of hours. Just see what they're doing. How work is managed, how code reviews are being done.
You want to hire me, not the other way around. But good luck in explaining this when you have to write a doubly linked list in pure C because some guy on a conference said that every dev needs to be able to do that. -
Practice, practice, practice. Was 20 when I learned programming in uni. I found it so hard. But I created the time to do all the homework and did as many stupidly difficult side projects as I could of. I probably never finished one since I could barely nest an if-statement in a loop, so forget that homebuilt pension calculator.
But... I learned so much by failing all those projects. Still try to do as much stupid stuff as I have time for and I heartily recommend every programmer to do the same.
Start 100 projects, maybe 10 of them are viable. And of those 10 only 1 will work. But you'll learn the most from the other 99. -
Not seeing my students while I teach and coach them. I've lost quite a couple of them due me not being able to literally sit next to them and talk with them. Online lessons are okay bit it's the physically being there that makes me get those students back on track. Now I can not reach them. Ugh.3
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Taught myself how to program a Texas Instruments 84 graphical calculator to solve the common mathematical equations in high school. Shamelessly copied a lot from the internet but learned quite quickly. Things like solving 2 and 3 degree polynomials, prime factorization or calculating integrals and stuff.
I quite liked how I could make life easier for myself and eventually class mates. Just rolled into software engineering afterwards I guess. No regrets thus far...1 -
I ordered a USB Rubber Ducky!! I'm not going to do anything malicious with it, I just want to experiment with it and see what it can do for me!
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Any recommendations for a $100 or so mechanical keyboard, a bit on the quieter side? I used a Cherry MX Blue board back at home and while it felt great, it's not going to fly in my current environment, so I'm looking at reds or browns (I do game a fair bit so reds are okay too, but would prefer browns, hopefully they're quiet enough).
Perhaps not a full sized one, maybe tenkeyless or something. I've been eyeing the Ducky One 2 Horizon mini, love the colours and it looks pretty much exactly like what I want, but I'd like to see what you guys think.
(I would like to build one but don't have the time)
Location: the US4 -
Since rubber ducks are everywhere, let me play with the algo and see if this post will be in everyone's feed. 🐤
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