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The programmer and the interns part 3.
Many of you asked me to keep posting about the interns that I'm responsible for.
I had the intention but never had the time or the energy. Since the interns only kept doing stupid, unthinkable things and just filtering out the good ones is a task of its own.
Time has passed, some interns left us by their choice, others were fired (for obvious reasons). Some stayed loyal and were given permanent positions. New ones joined. I no longer am directly responsible for their wellbeing, yet, somehow I am still their tech-lead and the developer of their tools.
Without further delay,
Case 0:
New guy get's into the internship, has his LinkedIn title set to ‘HTML Technician’.
Didn’t know about the existence of HTML5.
Been building static web pages in the early 2000s. The kind with embedded, inline CSS.
Claims that he is about to finish an engineering degree (sadly I believe him).
Fails the entry level Linux test. Complains about the similarity of the answer options.
Fails the basic web-standars test because "they change so fast, but the foundation is HTML and it's rock-solid!".
Get's caught taking home onions and milk from the kitchen.
Is spotted eating in a restaurant under our offices in his day off. Thrice. He lives a 30 minute drive away and comes here on a bicycle or by bus.
Apparently didn't know that the scrolling wheel on the mouse is clickable.
Said that his PC experience is mostly from his PlayStation (PC = PlayCtation apparently).
Get's fired, says that he'll go to the press. Never does.
Case 1:
Yet another new intern. He seems very eager to learn and work, capable, even charismatic. Has an impressive CV.
Does nothing.
Learns from the "case 0" guy and spends time with him until he is fired.
Comes to work at 8:00 AM and immediately goes to sleep on an office puff. In front of everyone.
Keeps dining alone, without a notice, at different times, for hours. Sometimes brings food into the office and loudly eats it there.
On his evening shifts keeps disappearing for long periods of time. Apparently drinking in the nearby bars and hitting on girls.
Keeps bragging about his success with getting their numbers and rants about those who reject him.
For over a year he fails his final training test and remains a trainee, without the ability to work on a real case.
Not fired yet.
Case 2:
Company retreat. Beautiful, exotic views, warm sun beams, all inclusive package for everyone on a huge half-island.
Simon (he's still with us, now as a true engineer!) brings his MacBook to the beach in order to work and impress all others.
Everybody get's drunk and start throwing huge inflatable balls at each other. One hits his laptop and it immediately is flattened.
Upset Simon is going in circles and ranting about the situation, looking for a solution.
Loses his phone on the beach.
Takes his broken laptop with him while searching for the phone.
Dips the laptop in the river while drunkenly ducking in order to pick a clam.
Case 3:
Still company retreat.
Drunk intern makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Huge verbal fight. The husband says that he files for a divorce. Intern get's fired.
Case 4:
Still company retreat.
Three interns each take an inflatable swimming mattress and drift with the current. Get found on the other side of the resort three hours later, with red skin and severely dehydrated.
Case 5:
Still company retreat.
The 'informally fired' intern gets drunk again, climbs through a window into a room and makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Again, gets caught when the husband returns to find a locked door but can see them though the window.
Case 6:
Still company retreat.
We all get ferociously drunk and wander off to the unknown in search of more booze.
Everybody does something stupid and somebody finds Simon's phone.
Simon is lost.
Frenzied horde of drunks is roaming the half-island in search of ethanol and the lost comrade.
Simon's phone get's permanently lost.
Five people step on sea urchins but find that out only hours later and then are unable to walk.
The mob, now including more drunk people who joined voluntarily, finds the sexually active intern making out with the enraged employee's wife yet again.
Surprisingly Simon is found sleeping in a room nearby.23 -
You think developing websites cross browsers is hard
Try developing emails.
tables, inline css, Outlook developers on drugs, Gmail developers trying to get high, and abandon most of the things you know about modern web standards24 -
Hey, wanna hear a disappointing stack?
- WordPress
- jQuery
- vanilla inline CSS
- shitty random legacy PHP
Disclaimer:
The author is NOT responsible nor liable for any injuries, mental health issues, sanitary problems, asexuality, crippling depression, triggered by this rant nor liable for any damaged walls, hurt animals or deaths.12 -
You know what's the difference between
- static page written purely in HTML with inline styling
and
- dynamic page generated in PHP, that actually loads data from MySQL database and is correctly styled in separate CSS document
on national level exam necessary to earn a title of technician?
ONE HACKING PERCENT!
Ok, backstory. So, few days ago I got results from that exam. To be honest, it was very, very easy so I wasn't worried at all, unlike some of my classmates who just don't understand programming at all (you need at least 75% to pass). Our task was to create database, write website in PHP that shows contents of that database and use CSS to give it a look that of example web page and run it on XAMPP. I've got result of 96% and while I was wandering what I've done wrong i hear my colleague almost screaming with joy "I passed! And I haven't even touched PHP. I was soooo sure I'll fail." So I asked him what's his result and he says 95%. And then another colleague said he got 95% without PHP. So, in other words what I thought to be the main task was worth 1%. Apparently, what was more important was for the page to look identical to the example, so I guess some examiners didn't even look into the source. And don't get me wrong, I don't wish my classmates had failed. That's not why I'm ranting. But why in the name of Ada Lovelace the task said to use PHP and all that if it weren't supposed to check our knowledge of programming in PHP? Sometimes I think the people who design these tests don't even know what they're doing.10 -
TABLE BASED WEB DESIGN
I was surprised there were no rants about this topic before I realized it was more than a decade back 😳
We've never had it better! So to help add a little perspective for all those ranting about what is unarguably the golden age for web developers... let me fill you in on web dev in the late 90's;
JavaScript was a joke. No seriously! - I once got laughed out of the room for suggesting we try use it for more than disabling a button - (I wanted to check out the new XHR request thingy [read AJAX]).
HTML was simple and purely a markup language (with the exception of the marquee tag). The tags were basically just p,ul,ol,h*,form inputs,img and table and html took 10 minutes to learn. Any style was inline and equally crude - anything that wasn't crude could not be trusted and probably wouldn't render at all in most browsers (never mind render correctly).
There were rumors of a style TAG and something called a cascading style sheet which were received with much skepticism since it went against the old ways and any time saved would be lost writing multiple [IE version specific] style sheets for each browser just to get it to work - so we simply didn't.
No CSS meant the only tags you had to work with to create a structured layout were br, hr and table... so naturally EVERYTHING was in nested tables! JS callback hell can't touch this! - it was not uncommon to have 50+ nested tables all with inline style in a single page which would be edited without any dev tools or linting.
You would spend 30 minutes scanning td tags until your eyes bled to find something, make a change, ftp the file to the server, reload the web page and then spend 10 minutes staring at the devastation on your screen convinced you broke
the internet before spotting an un-closed td tag with your bloodshot eyes.
Tables were not just a silver bullet - they were the ONLY bullet and were in the wild west!
Q: Want an inline form or to align your inputs left?
A: Duh table!
Q: Want a border with round-corners, a shadow or blur?
A: That's easy! Your gonna want to put that table in the center cell of another table then crop a image of the border into 6 smaller images to put in the surrounding cells... oh and then spend 10 minutes fucking with mystical attributes like cell-padding and valign to get them flush.
...But hey at least on the bright-side vertically & horizontally centering stuff was a breeze!22 -
A sidebar.
Literally just a sidebar.
And yes, this was in Hell.
Its code was spread across at least 40 files, and it used a bunch of freaking global variables to unfurl accordion sections, hide other sections/items, highlight the active item, etc. These were set (and unset!) in controller actions, so if you didn’t unset one, it remained open and highlighted until another action unset it.
Some of the global variable checks (and permissions checks) were done in the individual views, some outside of the `render` statements that include them. Some of them inherited variables from the parent, some from the controller, some from globals. Getting a view to work was trial and error. Oh, and some had their own inline css, some used css classes.
Subsections were separate views, so were some individual items, both sometimes rendered using shared templates, and all of the views and templates had the exact. same. filename. (They were located in different directories, and thus located automagically via implicit relative paths.) So, it was a virtually endless parade of`render partial => “sidebar”`. Which file does that point to? Good luck figuring it out!
Also, comments in several places said adding a new section required a database migration. I never did figure out why.
Anyway, I discovered this because I had an innocuous-sounding ticket to rearrange the sidebar, group some sections/items under different permissions, move some items to another menu, and nest some others differently.
It took me two bloody weeks, and this was when I was extremely productive every day.
Afterward, I was so disgusted by it that I took a day and removed every trace of the sidebar I could find, and rewrote it. I defined the sidebar in a hash, and wrote a simple recursive builder to generate the markup. It supported optional icons, n-level nesting, automatic highlighting of the current item and all parent nodes, compound and inherited permissions, wrapping of long names, hover and unfurl animations, etc. Took me a couple hundred lines of Ruby at the most, plus about the same of css.
Felt so good to remove that blight.5 -
I'm editing the sidebar on one of our websites, and shuffling some entries. It involves moving some entries in/out of a dropdown and contextual sidebars, in/out of submenus, etc. It sounds a little tedious but overall pretty trivial, right?
This is day three.
I learned React+Redux from scratch (and rebuilt the latter for fun) in twice that long.
In my defense, I've been working on other tasks (see: Alerts), but mostly because I'd rather gouge my freaking eyes out than continue on this one.
Everything that could be wrong about this is. Everything that could be over-engineered is. Everything that could be written worse... can't, actually; it's awful.
Major grievances:
1) The sidebars (yes, there are several) are spread across a ridiculous number of folders. I stopped counting at 20.
2) Instead of icon fonts, this uses multiple images for entry states.
3) The image filenames don't match the menu entry names. at all. ("sb_gifts.png" -> orders); active filenames are e.g. "sb_giftsactive.png"
4) The actions don't match the menu entry names.
5) Menu state is handled within the root application controller, and doesn't use bools, but strings. (and these state flags never seem to get reset anywhere...)
6) These strings are used to construct the image filenames within the sidebar views/partials.
7) Sometimes access restrictions (employee, manager, etc.) are around the individual menu entries, sometimes they're around a partial include, meaning it's extremely difficult to determine which menu entries/sections/subsections are permission-locked without digging through everything.
8) Within different conditionals there are duplicate blocks markup, with duplicate includes, that end up render different partials/markup due to different state.
9) There are parent tags outside of includes, such as `<ul>#{render 'horrific-eye-stabbing'}</ul>`
10) The markup differs per location: sometimes it's a huge blob of non-semantic filthiness, sometimes it's a simple div+span. Example filth: section->p->a->(img,span) ... per menu entry.
11) In some places, the markup is broken, e.g. `<li><u>...</li></u>`
12) In other places, markup is used for layout adjustments, such as an single nested within several divs adorned with lots of styles/classes.
13) Per-device layouts are handled, not within separate views, but by conditionally enabling/disabling swaths of markup, e.g. (if is_cordova_session?).
14) `is_cordova_session` in particular is stored within a cookie that does not expire, and within your user session. disabling it is annoying and very non-obvious. It can get set whether or not you're using cordova.
15) There are virtually no stylesheets; almost everything is inline (but of course not actually everything), which makes for fun layout debugging.
16) Some of the markup (with inline styling, no less) is generated within a goddamn controller.
17) The markup does use css classes, but it's predominately not for actual styling: they're used to pick out elements within unit tests. An example class name: "hide-for-medium-down"; and no, I can't figure out what it means, even when looking at the tests that use it. There are no styles attached to that particular class.
18) The tests have not been updated for three years, and that last update was an rspec version bump.
19) Mixed tabs and spaces, with mixed indentation level (given spaces, it's sometimes 2, 4, 4, 5, or 6, and sometimes one of those levels consistently, plus an extra space thereafter.)
20) Intentional assignment within conditionals (`if var=possibly_nil_return_value()`)
21) hardcoded (and occasionally incorrect) values/urls.
... and last but not least:
22) Adding a new "menu sections unit" (I still haven't determined what the crap that means) requires changing two constants and writing a goddamn database migration.
I'm not even including minor annoyances like non-enclosed ternaries, poor naming conventions, commented out code, highly inefficient code, a 512-character regex (at least it's even, right?), etc.
just.
what the _fuck_
Who knew a sidebar could be so utterly convoluted?6 -
A nice word to all developers who say stuff like "I know I write bad code, but what does it matter.":
Please try to think in a logical way about what this part you are about to write has to do. It is much more difficult to rewrite code, the longer you wait after you started to code.
Bad code can have big impacts on different levels.
For example financially: Bad coding style or program structure can lead to thousands or much more in losses because of nasty bugs, bad performance, expandability or maintainability.
Think about quality over quantity.
A little example: I had to work together with other coders to meet a fucking tight deadline. The last day we coded like crazy and these dudes started to apply styling changes (CSS) directly as inline styles to the HTML code, instead of taking a few minutes more to find where in the CSS files they had to make the changes.
At the end of the deadline we had more stylingbugs than before. It took us another whopping 3 hours to fix what they had done.
So next time you code: Thinking before coding is mostly faster than just straightahead coding and fixing at the end. 😉2 -
Oh boy.
I recently, I switched job for an open source company in Lyon, FR.
They had struggles to find me something to do (still has, tbh), so they sent me to a client of theirs, to help for a biiiiig project that's really old (created in 2001)
The thing was... Horrible. Lots of styles were set via JavaScript without condition, I found 3 different versions of jQuery, at one time they added Object oriented development in a context where they had HTML, JS, (inline) CSS and... PHP of course, inside of one PHP file. The architecture was more "uuuh these files in this directory will be about this functionality".
And it goes on forever. I told them that I hadn't the required level of PHP knowledge to have an excuse to get the fuck out of there, my company didn't like it but it was either that or my mental health.3 -
Me every time I have to adjust the css:
*center that div*
*hit refresh*
Fuck, now that button is over there.
*adjust the padding and kajigger with the margin a little*
*hit refresh*
Ah, I'm an idiot. I forgot to set the display to inline-block.
*adjust the display*
*hit refresh*
WHY THE FUCK IS THE BACKGROUND RED NOW??!?!?!?10 -
Ah finally, the moment when being a web developer is full of joy.
☑️ Server-side rendering
☑️ Inline critical css
☑️ Add progressive image loading
☑️ Minify everything
☑️ Automate release process in CI
☑️ Lint everything
Now that the strucutre is up, time to code the actual website. This is gonna be good!8 -
Stop using 5 year old, terrible drag and drop website designer which uses inline CSS and JavaScript and let us actually write it. They (barely) teach us html and then say that using a website designer is how it works in the real world. They actually disallow us writing it from scratch. Just glad I taught myself it already!6
-
90% of rants about CSS are just people who don't even know CSS2 properly and never heard of CSS3.
That's like crying about not having a nice car without even owning a drivers license. Bullshit.14 -
Yesterday, I finished the front-end of a project for a client. Responsive, clean,.. Looking 'smexy' :D
Today I've got an email of the client, saying he made some small design adjustments...
I think you already know where this is going.. But inline-css everywhere, fixed widths, br's as spacers,.. (It was like an old Frontpage-like design..)
I've changed the FTP user.. From now on, he has to request his changes so that I can apply them.. Damnit.. But hey, extra paid hours of work I guess :D3 -
Aaaah, I fucking love it to death, when customers spontaneously decide to hire a separate, unrelated company to add new content pages to the website developed by our company.
That furuncle of a company must have had real pro devs to just create a new /html folder, dump their shit content in there and just manually add links in the existing CMS pages.
HOLY FUCK!
As you might already have expected, the /html folder contains:
- static *.html files for every page
- inline CSS in the *.html
- the crappiest PHP mailing script I have ever witnessed
- images with random resolutions, mostly too small
The layout of these puke-ridden pages obviously doesn't fit neither the existing color palette, nor has anything common with the current layout or typography at all.
These bastards don't even use Git!
Come on, dear customer, could you PLEASE fucking NOT hire a completely separate company to do OUR job?
PLEASE? PLEASE?!
I had to compare the whole deployment folder with our repo to find out what else these brain-damaged cunts changed in our code!3 -
LONG RANT ALERT, no TL;DR
* Writes an email to colleague about why I can't create a page on our CMS without at least a H1 title. She wants to me to put up an image with text on it (like a flyer), for multiple reasons, I say I need a textless image. *
30 minutes later:
* Casually plans a frontend optimization project, by looking at files on the CMS, in order to make further development easier and less time-taking*
*** EMAIL NOTIFICATION ***
* clicks *
"Hello, this is [Graphic designer] from the company who created the image with text on it. I do not understand why you can't put display:none on your <h1> tag. Also, being a web company, we are used to making themes and my solution of display:none will work. It's pityful to work on a design only to have it stripped out from most of its concept. If you can't do that, do tell me what resolution you need."
My first reaction:
"Dear [Graphic designer], I am managing our corporate identity, our backend and frontend codebase, I am a graphic designer myself, and am also SEO-aware. For at least 8 reasons (redacted, 'cuse too long), I will need an image without text. As told to my colleagues, I need a 72/96 DPI 16:9 ratio image, 1920x1080 is a good start but may be bigger. Also, looking at the image, it'll have to be in JPG, at 100% quality, exported for the web. Our database software will optimize the image by itself."
Reasons are about SEO issues, responsiveness issues, CMS tools issues, backend and frontend issues.
Instead, I sent following email "We can't. Image please."
I mean seriously. A bit of clarity for you:
In my company, nobody has the slightest idea what I do. They don't understand how a computer works (we all know it works by magic, right?). So of course, when one thinks what we don't know, we know it better than the one who knows, my colleague thought our CMS was like a word document, and began telling me how I should display her bible-length text-infected image, by using some inline css styling display:none.
I tell her "nope, because of my 8 reasons". She transmits that to the agency who's done the visual, now I have this [Graphic designer] not understanding that there are other CMSs than Wordpress on the web, and she tells me, me being one of the most aware on this CMS we have, how I should optimize my site?
Fucking shit, she connects on our CMS for 1 second and she'll get cancer since it's so bad. I'm in the process of planning a whole new rewrite so the website is well designed (currently I am modifying a base theme made by an incompetent designer). I know the system by heart and I know what you can, or can't do.
Now I just received an answer: "so it's only a pure technical problem". NO, OUR WEBSITE WAS CODED BY A CHIMPANZEE WHO THOUGHT WEB DEV WAS AS EASY AS WRITING "HELLO WORLD" ON A SHITTY CMS THAT FORCES DEV USERS TO USE A FUCKING CUM-WHITE-THEMED EDITOR TO EDIT THE WHOLE SITE!!!
I can't just sneeze and "oh look, it's working!"1 -
I need bleach...
Lot of bleach.
When you think that not using a JS framework is bad...
Ever saw a Frankenstein of a HTML, PHP and JQuery? Full rewrite of an old project with more than enough time allowed....
Just... That was not awful enough.
*sobs* so the dev added bootstrap onto this pile of garbage... Instead of rewrite....
Think I missed CSS or included it in HTML? Lol. No.
No CSS. Inline. HTML 4 Tags.
?>
<table width=40 class="table table-striped">
<?php
foreach( $table as $row ) {
....
<input onkeyup="..." onkeydown="..." class="form-control"
...
To give you a basic example of how worse it is...
But the best. The lead developer does not understand why I was speechless.
i need more beer. And bleach. Filth and disgust must get out of my system2 -
I don't know if I'm being pranked or not, but I work with my boss and he has the strangest way of doing things.
- Only use PHP
- Keep error_reporting off (for development), Site cannot function if they are on.
- 20,000 lines of functions in a single file, 50% of which was unused, mostly repeated code that could have been reduced massively.
- Zero Code Comments
- Inconsistent variable names, function names, file names -- I was literally project searching for months to find things.
- There is nothing close to a normalized SQL Database, column ID names can't even stay consistent.
- Every query is done with a mysqli wrapper to use legacy mysql functions.
- Most used function is to escape stirngs
- Type-hinting is too strict for the code.
- Most files packed with Inline CSS, JavaScript and PHP - we don't want to use an external file otherwise we'd have to open two of them.
- Do not use a package manger composer because he doesn't have it installed.. Though I told him it's easy on any platform and I'll explain it.
- He downloads a few composer packages he likes and drag/drop them into random folder.
- Uses $_GET to set values and pass them around like a message contianer.
- One file is 6000 lines which is a giant if statement with somewhere close to 7 levels deep of recursion.
- Never removes his old code that bloats things.
- Has functions from a decade ago he would like to save to use some day. Just regular, plain old, PHP functions.
- Always wants to build things from scratch, and re-using a lot of his code that is honestly a weird way of doing almost everything.
- Using CodeIntel, Mess Detectors, Error Detectors is not good or useful.
- Would not deploy to production through any tool I setup, though I was told to. Instead he wrote bash scripts that still make me nervous.
- Often tells me to make something modern/great (reinventing a wheel) and then ends up saying, "I think I'd do it this way... Referes to his code 5 years ago".
- Using isset() breaks things.
- Tens of thousands of undefined variables exist because arrays are creates like $this[][][] = 5;
- Understanding the naming of functions required me to write several documents.
- I had to use #region tags to find places in the code quicker since a router was about 2000 lines of if else statements.
- I used Todo Bookmark extensions in VSCode to mark and flag everything that's a bug.
- Gets upset if I add anything to .gitignore; I tried to tell him it ignores files we don't want, he is though it deleted them for a while.
- He would rather explain every line of code in a mammoth project that follows no human known patterns, includes files that overwrite global scope variables and wants has me do the documentation.
- Open to ideas but when I bring them up such as - This is what most standards suggest, here's a literal example of exactly what you want but easier - He will passively decide against it and end up working on tedious things not very necessary for project release dates.
- On another project I try to write code but he wants to go over every single nook and cranny and stay on the phone the entire day as I watch his screen and Im trying to code.
I would like us all to do well but I do not consider him a programmer but a script-whippersnapper. I find myself trying to to debate the most basic of things (you shouldnt 777 every file), and I need all kinds of evidence before he will do something about it. We need "security" and all kinds of buzz words but I'm scared to death of this code. After several months its a nice place to work but I am convinced I'm being pranked or my boss has very little idea what he's doing. I've worked in a lot of disasters but nothing like this.
We are building an API, I could use something open source to help with anything from validations, routing, ACL but he ends up reinventing the wheel. I have never worked so slow, hindered and baffled at how I am supposed to build anything - nothing is stable, tested, and rarely logical. I suggested many things but he would rather have small talk and reason his way into using things he made.
I could fhave this project 50% done i a Node API i two weeks, pretty fast in a PHP or Python one, but we for reasons I have no idea would rather go slow and literally "build a framework". Two knuckleheads are going to build a PHP REST framework and compete with tested, tried and true open source tools by tens of millions?
I just wanted to rant because this drives me crazy. I have so much stress my neck and shoulder seems like a nerve is pinched. I don't understand what any of this means. I've never met someone who was wrong about so many things but believed they were right. I just don't know what to say so often on call I just say, 'uhh..'. It's like nothing anyone or any authority says matters, I don't know why he asks anything he's going to do things one way, a hard way, only that he can decipher. He's an owner, he's not worried about job security.13 -
I actually like the nostalgic feeling (if that makes sense) when making emails. Like fuck flex, grid and absolute! Just me, my table and inline css4
-
My top 3:
* Inline styling instead of creating a class.
* slapping the new class at the end of a 700 LOC CSS file.
* Using !important14 -
A long long time ago ( 2007 I think ) I worked for a company that made landing sites, so basically an email campaign would go out, users would be sent to a 1 page website with a form to capture their data, ready to be spammed even more. You know how it was back then.
So I worked with a guy who we had just hired, I didn't do the hiring but his CV checked out, so I gave him one of my tasks. Now most pages were made with js and html, with a PHP backend ( called with Ajax). Now this guy didn't know PHP so I was like all good, ASP works too at the end of the day we don't judge, we do like 2 or 3 of these a day and never look at them again. So he goes of and does is thing.
3 weeks later, the customer calls up to me they still haven't received their landing page. Ok so he probably forgot to email the customer np, I tell him to double check he has emailed the customer. Another week goes by end the customer calls back, same problem. At this point I'm getting worried, because we're days away from the deadline and it was originally my task.
So I go back to the guy and I tell him I want that landing page so I can send it myself, half thinking to myself that we had a freeloader, that guy that comes in to companies for 3 weeks, doesn't work, but still cashes his pay. But no, this was much worse.
So he tells me he has finished yet. I ask him why, what's the blocker ? You had 4 weeks to tell me you were blocked and couldn't progress. And his answer was simply, because I wasn't blocked I have been working on it this whole time. So I tell him to zip his project up and email it to me. We didn't do SVN or git back then, simply wasn't worth it. So he comes back to me and says the email server is telling him attachments can't be bigger then 50mb. At this point I'm thinking he didn't properly sized the art or something, so I give him a flash drive to put it on.
When I then open the flash drive, the archive is 300mb, thinking to myself, the images weren't even that big to begin with.
So I open it up, and I don't even find any images, just a single asp page. About 500mb. When I opened that up and it finally loaded, I saw the most horrendous things ever.
The first 500 lines was just initializing empty vars. Then there was some code that created an empty form with an onChange event that submits the form. After that.. it was just non stop nested if's. No loops, no while, for, foreach, NO elseif's, just nested if's, for every possible combination of the state the form could be in. Abou 5000 of them, in a single file. To make matters worse, all the form ( and page ) layout was hardcoded in the if's. Includes inline css, base64 encoded images, nothing but as dynamic, based on the length of the form he changes the layout, added more background etc. He cut the images up for every possible size of the page and included them in the code.
I showed it to my boss, he fired the guy on the spot. I redid the work from scratch, in under 4 hours. Send it to the client. they had no ammends to make, happy as Larry. Whish I kept the code somewhere.
Morale of the story, allways do a coding test on interviews, even if small things just to sanity check.3 -
We just got a new web dev with 10+ years experience with the goal of helping out our rather inexperienced small team.
His first PR was for a rather large form with 30+ fields.
He. used. a. <table/>......To layout the entire thing! With inline floats no less!
How the f do you spend the last 10 years not bothering to pickup any modern css?6 -
Look, I worked in companies that didnt givr a single f about security, and it wasn't right, but others go are just mad.
Me to itsec: can I deploy Django behind the company firewall on a machine physically 2 meters from you, users will still need the VPN to access it... ?
Itsec: no!
Me: flask?
Itsec: no!
Me: shiny?
Itsec: no!
Me: CAN I EVEN HOST ONE HTML FILE WITH INLINE CSS?
itsec: can I see your badge?! -
Has anyone ever just completely forgotten literally everything about how a language works?
I use to be fairly good at Vala as and now I can't even remember how to load fucking CSS or use inline CSS .-.4 -
Someone once told me our bachelor's thesis would be the most frustrating thing we've ever done. However, its really been wonderful because we can do whatever the fuck we want, meaning:
NO MORE FUCKING INLINE JS
NO MORE FUCING INLINE CSS
NO MORE FUCKING CANCEROUS CSS STYLESHEETS
NO MORE FUCKING PROCEDURAL PHP
NO MORE FUCKING XSLT
NO MORE FUCKING INLINE SQL
Absolutely wonderful.2 -
Me: *opens devTools*
Firefox: yea bro lemme just ..uh.. hmm yeah so this is the css for the element, see?
Me: Thanks.
Me:
Me: this makes no sense, why would I ever do that?
Firefox: also you can't have width on an anchor tag. I can't put that rule into effect
Me: I didn't put any width on your inline element, you sure about that?
Firefox: yea try using display: inline-block
Me: No. I'll just delete that. *checks file*
Me: Maybe that line is wrong because IT DOES NOT FUCKING EXIST!
What is this shit? I just restarted you! What else do you need, a reinstall? Drink too much over the holidays?
It's like the css editor has become a shallow tray with rules on it, and as soon as you bump it a little everything spills over and then Firefox just thinks oops, I've got this font-size: 200% lying around, lemme stick this into the hr tag which makes sense because THERE CAN'T BE ANY TEXT IN IT.
9 -
The longer I work on front-end the more controversial my opinions become:
- Styling a button with display:flex is dumb.
- The DOM is not hard, unlike what the React team wants to have you believe.
- Specifying a <form> action matters, even if it's empty
- ES5 was the real JS revolution, ES6 mostly sugar-coated marketing
- Disciplined BEM (S)CSS is simple and flexible enough for most needs (vs CSS-in-JS, CSS modules)
- If editor support for Jsdoc were as advanced as Typescript, you wouldn't need the latter.
- There are cases where using floats and inline-block displays is better than the flex CSS box model12 -
Man why is it that the languages that I like get shit on by like 90% of developers. Whiney little cunts that get mad at css because they think "oh I can just inline style and it'll be fine" No wonder your X looks like fucking roadkill. And I fucking love python. Maybe if the Oracle overlord didn't have a goddamn chokehold on ever major hardware manufacturer python would be more prominent.7
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Jeez, it can be done! Thank you CSS, i really thought it wasn't possible. My bacon is saved. (Overriding an inline style, javascript generated, from a linked style sheet).2
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Okay, it's FUCKing rant time.
FUCK single-file *cough* page.tpl.php *cough* drupal-sites
I FUCKing hate sites without any FUCKing structure, where all logic is built into the overall wrapping pageview file.
Spend more FUCKing time than healthy finding this golden nugget.
In a FUCKing 2000+ lines long file, in a FUCKing mix of inline CSS/JS, PHP/SQL and FUCKing exec(); calls.
Definetily the best FUCKing way to destroy a FUCKing lightbox, for people who are not logged in...
- Why would you even do that in the first FUCKing place ?!??! The customer didn't ask for this..
All this FUCKing mess because the previous developer decided to quit, and did not FUCKing care for the next maintainer to come.
Fellow drupal developers will know the struggle.
3 -
I'm living it.
I started an internship at this web store made of different pieces and following no apparent rule or convention. They asked me to do this landing page, but I can't access to the development environment, nor push, create a docker, kill myself, nothing. I have to build from the DOM and write with inline style a page copied and pasted, with 300 lines of CSS already in the tpl, overwritten bootstrap 3 and two main CSS files linked. And "they don't do !important".
I wish I could say I'm learning a lot, but not. My life has become a waste of hours trying to please a company stuck and aged. -
Studying multimedia developer course Class year one learning HTML.
Build this with tables and inline styles....
Assignment was clearly written and you where able to copy past most of it.
I was like fuuu. I build it in CSS and external style sheet.
Time set for assignment 4 days, time used: 3 hours.
This was in 2008......
I hope now for you students out there that it has changed and you are learning proper coding and are correctly challenged3 -
At a "guided internship".
Task: Develop a complete web application form
Was assigned to a team of 7 where all are "Frontend Developers" who have never heard terms like "bootstrap" or "mobile-first web pages".
That aside, all are seniors in age and qualifications, hence me telling them something to do is "ordering them around". And if I tell them to leave things to me, they be like "No, we wanna contribute and do the Frontend, as these things don't matter, inline css just works fine". 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
Why Lord? Just why?4 -
You know it's kinda your fault when your CSS works properly in Internet Explorer and Firefox, but doesn't in Chrome or (non-Chromium) Edge.
However:
Spec says text-align doesn't apply to inline elements, but both Internet Explorer and Firefox seem to disregard that spec and do it anyway. What the fuck?3 -
I am working as designer, doing psd to html stuffs and i'm having hard time when the developers inject their own css inside the html elements (inline) and broke the responsiveness4
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This sort of CSS failure:
div { display: inline-block; width: 50%; }
span { display: inline-block; width: 50%; }
<div>go left</div>
<span>go right dammit</span>8 -
her: he's probably thinking about other girls
me: *in CSS, both "display: inline-block" and "display: inline block" are perfectly valid things and they even mean the same* -
Doing someone else's Code Review in my project: "You must retain the holiness and piety of the code you write by following PascalCase naming for files and kebab-case naming for CSS variables. Avoid using duplicate strings by declaring enums in a constants.ts file and using that all throughout the app"
During my own Code Review in someone else's project: "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I CANNOT PASS FUNCTION REFERENCES AS PROPS TO A REACT COMPONENT AND ALWAYS NEED TO INVOKE IT INSIDE AN INLINE FUNCTION FOR THE PROP."
"WHAT KINDA FKIN DRUGS ARE YOU ON TO USE snake_case IN TYPESCRIPT DID YOUR MOM DROP YOU ON YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU SACRILEGIOUS PIECE OF SHIT"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SHOULD USE BOTH SINGLE AND DOUBLE QUOTES FOR IMPORTS AS PER LOCAL OR GLOBAL; I'LL SHOVE THE SINGLE QUOTE UP YOU WHERE THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE YOU FKIN DEGENERATE MORON"
As much as I do believe in self righteousness of my own coding conventions over others (I might be slightly better than others but I really can't claim good authority because I've had my lapses in conventions too; and being one of the newer members of the team certainly doesn't help, despite my boss supporting my initiative), I guess it is high time we bring in some already established code conventions in the team that is finally big enough to warrant them. Maybe AirBnB. -
I remember playing games like wolfenstein3D, supaplex, sokoban etc. on our family computer 486 which had as I remember around 100mhz processor. (120mhz in TURBO mode)
Yeah and I did created a few levels in wolfenstein, there was a simple editor.
From programming view I did code my first website only using html and inline css in early 2000s. However internet was a thing of a rich people back then (in my country), so my brother downloaded the whole website with docs and basics of html/css/js for me in collage. My first website was coded on 300mhz pentium2 (or 3?) with no internet connection, took me about a two months to complete and was total mess. But was graphically satisfying with nice gifs which took tens od seconds to download. Main container had 600px width and looked pretty good on my 800x600 resolution.
I still remember messing with BOM signature because of notepad could not save a file without BOM. Leaving all utf8 chars as mess after saving.
Good old times. -
Horror story and rant time I guess...
I haven't seen the main developer of this MVC project that I've been working on but I can totally assure that his seniority isn't in frontend development 😠 and I doubt the backend too... Fucking DataTables converted to IDictionaries<string,object>
Guess who need to build on top of the pile of shit!
Anyway, I wasn't really careful about what kind of template I was given to work on a new SPA page, so I'm doing the job given the time, but it's fucking gory:
- matrioska style layers (n.3) without documentation
- partials everywhere
- too much inline styling
- too many <style> sections (n per layer or partial)
- too many <script> sections (n per layer or partial)
- poor CSS styling or no styling at all! (classes without any style nor js association)😠
He's just been lucky that the browser is capable of handling his shit
Now that at the end of this year I'll leave this project (solo fullstack) and need to provide documentation for the next poor souls I was thinking to leave behind something at par of my skills and capabilities but analysing the current mess ticks my brain in a bad way, fuck you Marco!
Fuck you
and your seniority
and the Italian way of perceiving seniority that gives you a higher living in the wrong side of the field 🤬🤬🤬2 -
So what do you guys think of a tailwind css?
I mean... it looks way too verbose, like we got back to inline css
on the other hand i see a lot of people using it
so whats the catch?9 -
Hey! Just curious, is it normal that a technical test/challenge takes me more than a day to do?
I have been interviewed for a front-end role, and was given a react challenge. They said that it shouldn't take more than 2 hours ('hopefully' is what they added at the end). But i've been doing this challenge for a day now and it's only 60-70% done.
It's not complicated, and I do know how to do it, and, even, do it properly, it just takes a lot of time for me to code, i.e. develop components, change webpack when needed, read react materialize-ui (css framework) docs, then destructure json response from the api they provided and put this information on a page, then try to compile to the right format (they want single .html element with inline js and css as a deliverable).
So my question is, am I shit or is it unreasonable for a company to ask do so much coding or a little bit of both?
What's your experience usually when looking for a job in 'hip' and 'cool' startups?4 -
Dahhhhhh. Retrofitting CSP to an established, legacy site with inline scripts and random CSS/js loaded from all over the place is damn stressful.
Why did I volunteer to sort this crap out... What a pleb.4 -
Dammit! CSS is such a huge pain in the ass. I just want to use a <style> tag inline with a class to control margin positioning of one friggin’ image. (Yes, I know it’s better in a CSS file but this is a temp fix that will be reverted soon.)
<style>
.30-day-seal {
margin-top: -27.5em;
margin-left: 39.5625em;
}
</style>
<img class=“30-day-seal” src=/path/to/img.png”/>
Nothing happens. Only if I use a style=“” attribute directly in the img tag.
I’ve even tried:
<style>
img.30-day-seal {
margin-top: -27.5em;
margin-left: 39.5625em;
}
</style>
And
<style>
.30-day-seal img {
margin-top: -27.5em;
margin-left: 39.5625em;
}
</style>
And even
<style>
img .30-day-seal {
margin-top: -27.5em;
margin-left: 39.5625em;
}
</style>
Why do I suck so bad at this?! Still!?6 -
https://youtu.be/5OhJ00an0mI?t=148
As per this ad Samsung use HTML & bootstrap to change voice of bixby.
can someone tell me how can i do this?
(If anyone from Samsung. Inline CSS is bad practice)3 -
For our internship requirement. We developed a web-app with inline Javascript and CSS. I know, it was only a matter of time for our senior dev to kill us. HAHAHAHA2
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Is it a good practice to use inline styles?
I'm always lazy to add a new class to a new div. So I just write css, inline.9 -
CSS and libraries doesn't mix. Something about the lack of scoping and the unintended side effects that happen from using two different libraries that add inline style via JS. I'm looking at you, position!!!!12
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while doing web thingies for over 20 years now i have a feeling i did it properly for the first time now. i am proud and embarrassed at the same time.
maybe for the first time php doesn't echo html with inline-js and -css.3
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