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A wild Darwin Award nominee appears.
Background: Admins report that a legacy nightly update process isn't working. Ticket actually states problem is obviously in "the codes."
Scene: Meeting with about 20 people to triage the issue (blamestorming)
"Senior" Admin: "update process not working, the file is not present"
Moi: "which file?"
SAdmin: "file that is in ticket, EPN-1003"
Moi: "..." *grumbles, plans murder, opens ticket*
...
Moi: "The config dotfile is missing?"
SAdmin: "Yes, file no there. Can you fix?"
Moi: "Engineers don't have access to the production system. Please share your screen"
SAdmin: "ok"
*time passes, screen appears*
Moi: "ls the configuration dir"
SAdmin: *fails in bash* > ls
*computer prints*
> ls
_.legacyjobrc
Moi: *sees issues, blood pressure rises* "Please run list all long"
SAdmin: *fails in bash, again* > ls ?
Moi: *shakes* "ls -la"
SAdmin: *shonorable mention* > ls -la
*computer prints*
> ls -la
total 1300
drwxrwxrwx- 18 SAdmin {Today} -- _.legacyjobrc
Moi: "Why did you rename the config file?"
SAdmin: "Nothing changed"
Moi: "... are you sure?"
SAdmin: "No, changed nothing."
Moi: "Is the job running as your account for some reason?"
SAdmin: "No, job is root"
Moi: *shares screenshot of previous ls* This suggests your account was likely used to rename the dotfile, did you share your account with anyone?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because could not see"
Moi: *heavy seething* so, just to make sure I understand, you renamed a dotfile because you couldn't see it in the terminal with ls?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because it was not visible, now is visible"
Moi: "and then you filed a ticket because the application stopped working after you renamed the configuration file? You didn't think there might be a correlation between those two things?"
SAdmin: "yes, it no work"
Interjecting Director: "How did no one catch this? Why were there no checks, and why is there no user interface to configure this application? When I was writing applications I cared about quality"
Moi: *heavy seething*
IDjit: "Well? Anyone? How are we going to fix this"
Moi: "The administrative team will need to rename the file back to its original name"
IDjit: "can't the engineering team do this?!"
Moi: "We could, but it's corporate policy that we have no access to those environments"
IDjit: "Ok, what caused this issue in the first place? How did it get this way?!"
TFW you think you've hit the bottom of idiocy barrel, and the director says, "hold my mango lassi."27 -
Use Docker, it's awesome because you won't need VMs anymore.
Using Win7: You need a VM for running docker. 😫10 -
My mobile phone provider called me and offered me a new contract containing more data volume.
Customer service: 'Your current contract has only 1.5GB data volume. That's not much. With this you can only send 1 or 2 pictures and that's it.'
Me: 'What kind of pictures do you use / send? 😨'11 -
There should be a name for rants about fake stories. Like the ones you read and can smell some bs going on. I suggest frants.3
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Are you a mango in Siberia?
Mangos seeds don't grow in Siberia. But if they are moved to a warmer climate they grow to be the King of fruits.
Do not beat yourself up if you are not doing good at one organization in one role. Analyze what is the problem and if it requires a change of team/organization, roles..just do it!8 -
If someone asks me how to hack software, I answer:
'Well, basically it's just like searching for open doors of a unknown house you want to get in.' 😎
Usually the answer disappoints everyone. Then I add:
'Why so surprised? Would you leave your main door open, if you want to store something securely in your house?'
I love those disappointed faces from time to time. 😋1 -
Can ppl stop bitching out about their ides not running smoothly with 8gb+ ram? I mean 8gb ram wise is enough, unless you have 20+ browser tabs open, watching some casual porn, downloading some more porn in the background and maybe running some benchmarks just for the sake of not letting your dollars go to waste...15
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"No, I have not used c++.
No, I have not used mfc.
No, I have not used Pervasive database.
Goodbye. 😢"
BUT! I got the job!3 -
Trying to plant something:
- be aware of the pH
- the plant loves sun, but not too much
- fertilize it every 2 Weeks
...
Dear Nature, how the hell did you accomplish all these for centuries?4 -
If you get the opportunity to learn one thing without worrying about money, time or your job. What would you choose? 💙 🌜🌠
I would like to learn how to play the violin. 🎵🎻13 -
Brush up on your unix skills while supporting charity and O'Reilly media: there's a Unix book humble bundle! Will not be equally interesting for all, but worth a look.
https://humblebundle.com/books/...2 -
Countdown has begun! July 29 is the last day we see this f***ing dialog. Bye bye annoying Windows 10 update.
12 -
Every new framework be like: 'We are new and better and faster and better. Change quickly cause we are the future.'
Me: But whyyy are you better? 🤔😫4 -
Many people / engineers around me talk about trendy stuff like Cybersecurity or AI and show off what great encryption and neuronal networks they 'have built' ( I would rather say 'using').
I kinda get the feeling of 'Everbody talks about it - no one really knows what's goin' on inside (especially those guys who hate math and even algorithms).'
Am I just stupid or does somebody else here feel the same way? I mean people have been doing serious research about this stuff for years. And currently many kids are coming up with it as if it is easy stuff like the bubble sort.4 -
When you hack up some spaghetti code which works right off the bat and you don't even know why but you take it for granted anyways. Week later someone tells you that it's not working anymore and you have to find out why.3
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As child: 'When I grew up and earned some money I'm gonna by a full Photoshop-Version.' 😎
Now: 'You cannot buy it fully anymore.' 😫
#ChildhoodDreamsKilledInstantly3 -
Business idea:
- Buy some big old computer.
- Sell them as quantum computer.
- Get cash and run away.
Currently this idea may work. 🤔3 -
Intern position:
"Proficient understanding of NodeJS, MangoDB, Other back-end technologies.
Aw, MangoDB?
Now I can't apply..9 -
Every day: 30 mins trying to remember where I left off the day before. Coding for 5 mins. Interrupted by a colleague. 30 mins trying to remember where I was. And that's my day.
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I work full time in the data protection field for healthcare whilst investing all my free time into coding as a career change.
I've discovered that despite people telling you how much you need to spend every hour you get free to learn to code, you also need to consider the people closest to you. I was ignoring my partner who I live with because I thought this was more important and that she should be able to see that. But what's the point in being in a relationship if you aren't making an effort with each other?
It's OK to slow down and invest time into the people you have in your life. Give yourself a break. -
Who the hell came up with the idea of an autocorrect feature within an simple editor?!
(At least you can turn it off)3 -
Every time I hear footsteps in the office comming my way after a commit: "Oh dear god, what did I break?!"2
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A long time ago: Joking about QuantumComputingAiBlockchainVR ...
Today: Reading articles about QuantumAi ..
What comes next? 🤦 -
When you commit half your modified files because you didn't make changesets when working on multiple tasks at the same time and you hope you don't break the build5
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Every student here has to write an essay about some kind of voluntary work he / she did while studying and how the knowledge can be used in your (future) job.
I did train and educate kids at sports. In the end I've compared those kids with a group of software developers which has to be educated, too (e.g. in their manners).2 -
How come that one bathroom stall at work with decent wifi coverage is occupied practically 24/7? Does somebody live there?
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Okay... I am more than annoyed. 😵😵😵 I've been trying for days to get 2 small dockerized Spring REST-Services to communicate with each other. Without docker the services work fine with each other. I've tried many tutorials, examples, hints online and so on and none works or does something else. There is so much deprecated stuff or huge tutorials where I have to install 1000 other useless things. I kinda feel like this Microservice Stuff is a myth or I'm just stupid. Even my partner has no clue.18
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'You are a programmer? Could you help us out with our novel AI in our company?'
is the new
'Can you fix my printer?' -
So we got new keyboards at the office. Turns out mine doesn't register the modifier keys well, resulting in plenty of selecting and replacing text with "z", "/" or whatever key I pressed along with it. You can't believe the amount of times my new toy almost flew out of a sixth story Brussels' window in the last couple of days. Anyway, still too lazy to go ask for a new keyboard.1
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The term 'Cloud' used to describe a white and and fluffy thing you can dream of. 🌜☁️☁️☁️
Now I'm not sure about the dreaming and being fluffy.1 -
ughh i don't know what the fuck is going on with my karmas right now. I just want to know if i was a satan all my life to deserve what i am getting for this year... well let me count what the sins that i might have done till 26 , which might be considered bad karma by me or anyone else
1. not being as punctual enough in praying (as expected by my parents and religion)
2. eating forbidden stuff occasionally ( we are forbidden onion and garlic, alcohol, etc, but i sometimes have these)
3. watching hours of porn 5-7 times a week and masturbating
4. not being always honest.
as far as i remember these things don't hurt anybody and I don't recall killing someone or being a fraud.
but then why i am being treated like a broken piece of crap that should no longer exist?
At the start of this year, i had a plate inserted in my arm via surgery because i broke it in an arm wrestling. i am currently recovering from it and am not in the most active shape.
But now i have one of my testicles swell to the size of a mango and from what the google says its going to be another surgery (hydrocelectomy).
i currently have only 9 leaves left and i was told just yesterday that i am being considered for senior role next year
I am devastated... why do i need to go through this shit? why me?37 -
If your teacher cannot see the the difference between a 'programmingproject in class' and 'programmingproject at real work'. ...
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I am so annoyed by devs who pretend they cannot read or write their own native language or pretend to be stupid when it comes to non-coding tasks.
I know that writing documentation or organizing stuff might not be as exciting as coding. But aren't they ashamed of pretending to have fallen behind a elementary school kid?
'I'm a dev. I'm not supposed to read or write or be educated in something else.' 🤪
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