Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "michael"
-
Just found a "pro" app to learn linux... The dev used a non linux icon (windows dos) as the app icon.18
-
Is it just me, or does this emoticon look like a guy giving some serious middle fingers with Michael Jackson gloves?10
-
Fun fact: Michael Widenius named "MySQL" after his daughter My. When MySQL was acquired by sun, he decided to start a new open source database, "MariaDB", named after his second daughter Maria.
This guy is (partially) responsible for two of the largest databasesystems in the world.
Imagine his daughters apply for a database engineering job one day. During application process: "One of the largest databases in the world was named after me..." 😂19 -
"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime." - Michael Sinz3
-
Some companies have images of their tech support personnel in their websites.
They show you Steve and Michael......but in reality you get Rajhit and Pakalu13 -
Want to finish my little friend for a long time now. He can dance Michael Jackson's moonwalk for now.
Idea was to use the sonar sensor to switch dancing styles but he is still blind :(11 -
My boss when:
Conversation regarding passwords:
Me: "It should be longer than that"
Other dev: "That's what she said"
*taking note of the inappropriate-ness*
Me: "We need to get a room for us"
PM: "That's what she said"
Me: "Come on Ryan!"
Other dev: "That's what she said"
Sales Lady: "This will never end!"
Me: "That's what she said!"
Office dies for a minute. Michael Scott would be proud.2 -
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. (Michael Sinz)4
-
Good fucking job amazon, who would have thought opening the door to strangers is a great idea, everybody act surprised. Does sound a bit like it might have looked like an appartment building from their report (therefore wandering around), but I really doubt that.
"Guy who found two Amazon deliverymen wandering through his house: 'It's not just happening to me' [...] For Michael Lentini, his delivery last Saturday was a nightmare. According to his version of the story, an Amazon delivery man entered his house without permission — and wandered around the first floor before taking the elevator up to his bedroom."
https://mashable.com/2018/02/...8 -
The Humble bundle currently offers a bunch of Linux related books. Some gimp shit, and some blender shit.
The thing is, they have the Linux Programming interface by Michael Kerrisk for 30 dllrs(in total for everything)
Ladies and gents, that right there is a DAMN good deal. That book is fucking gold. Used it during Uni, didn't get to keep it. 30 bucks for a bunch of pdfs, ebook and mobi plus a book that for itself is worth more? Shiet son. It will pump up both your Linux and C chops I would tell ya that much.
I'd made that deal.
What about you Utivich, you'd made that deal?
Utivich: I'd made that deal.
I don't blame you. DAMN GOOD deal.9 -
A coworker that is producing incredibly bad code and refuses to learn new stuff was declared "senior developer" by my boss. And me with over 20y experience? I am just a junior.. and have to clean up his mess all the time. I guess it is time to find new job.5
-
I had a dream that I was installing some sort of package and the PM warned that it was a known malicious package and I was like "This must be a mistake, no it isn't" so I installed it anyways and then an ASCII-Art Michael Jackson started dancing on my screen to loud music and I shut down the computer and woke up and panicked because I didn't have any backups4
-
Ok so we went to a graphic class seeking graphic designers for our game.
We pitchted our 3d fast paced speed running game. With highscores and shit. (We only have a week to create this game)
This fucking moron in the back of the class starts to rise his hand asking:
Is this a MMORPG?
Me: No this is no fucking MMORPG?!
Him: But i only want to design to a MMORPG
Me: Well we are not doing a fucking MMORPG..
Him: Can you change it to an MMORPG please?
Me: WTF NOOO!
Him: Okey you sure?
Me: YES... smh
Like why the fuck shall we change an idea to something litrally impossible to make in a week and that will fucking crash and burn like every Michael Bay movie ever...4 -
Michael Sinz: “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”3
-
As someone who works with front end stuff regularly, know what I love about safari? Specifically mobile safari?
Not a god damn fucking thing. If safari was a band, it'd be Nickelback, featuring Kenny G and Michael Bolton.3 -
I don't know how recruitment goes outside of the Netherlands, but here they can be very very aggressive due to the scarcity of programmers.
One was even so blunt that he called the office I was working and asked to be connected to me with some bullshit story. Now you have to understand that this was a small company, so small that it was one open space. You can imagine how I felt when he was asking me questions and offering me work while the rest of the people could actually hear me. I got mad at the guy and refused.
What are your weirdest recruiter stories? Beside LinkedIn spam...6 -
I had the weirdest dream. Michael Cera was a developer I was working with. I had a meeting with him and discovered that he spoke 3 different Indian languages fluently.9
-
Instead of a rant I have a story for you.
I was browsing my emails and eminently pissed off, as I usually am. Came across an email from
michael@michaelnthiessen.com
and thought "fuck this guy and his adverspam!"
Because whats more rational than hating someone you don't know, over something they didn't do, because of something completely unrelated to them of which they have no control?
Totally human.
The email looked like this
"I have some fantastic news for you:
Clean Components will be released again on April 21!
"
With a "🎉" emoji. I'm in a more vile mood than usual today.
It goes on.
"Even better, I'm significantly dropping the price, so you'll definitely want to pick it up!"
How presumptuous.
I fire off a quick reply.
"What a bunch of bullshit.
I decide to change careers and a month later, just like in 2008, this fucking pandemic happens and the economy and hiring
Starts collapsing.
And here I am getting sent this bullshit.
"
I had to rewrite and shitcan the response a few times for civility. I guess this is me being polite, but I was suddenly compelled to vent to this total stranger over what in all likelihood was an *automated* email.
Six and a half hours later I got a reply.
"Hey James, I'm sorry this pandemic has been rough on you.
I hope things turn around for you soon.
If it would help, I'd give you the course for free, but if you've switched careers I'm not sure it's relevant any more?
Michael
"
My god. A lone voice of calm in a wasteland of 24/7 bad and worsening news. Sometimes simplicity is the soul of class.
Hes got it in spades.
And here I was thinking "today might be the day. Thank god for giant bottles of hydrocodone."
It's not true that all gingers are soulless demons.
Some of them are angels in problem glasses.
No but seriously, hes a cool guy in my book.
Check out his site if you're interested in Vue at
michaelnthiessen.com6 -
Do you give your PC or Smartphone (or printer etc) a name?
Like: I called my Laptop "Momo" (Reference: Michael Ende, I never read nor watched it but I liked the drawing style)
And my Phone "Ori" (Reference: Ori & the blind Forest, I never played it, only saw a some gameplay)20 -
I classify myself as Michael Jackson, and my personal pronoun is hee hee.
Saw that the other day and could not stop laughing. -
So when I joined the company 2 months ago I was told they offered flexible working, today I received this email. (I can't help but think it is aimed at me given I often arrive between 9 and 10....I'm always the last to go home)
Oh and yes they have named some of the team DevOps and others just Developers, they haven't quite grasped the concept!
-----------------------------------------------------
Morning All,
I have been noticing the start time for all the team members. Some like to start early while some likes the late start. So before Senior management raises any questions below is the shift pattern I would like everyone to stick to it.
I have assigned name against each of the shift which I am aware of. If you would like to change it please let me know. We need at least one Developer between 08:00- 17:30 and at least one Devops between 07:00 – 17:30.
If we have any emergency issues and takes longer to fix it , I would appreciate if you guys can work after your shift. We can adjust this overtime by leaving early next day or whenever possible.
7:00 – 15:30 - @Michael Smith
7:30 – 16:00 - @Sarah Twist @Jim Bob
8:00 – 16:30 - @Lesley Matthews
8:30 – 17:00 - @Bill Best
9:00 – 17:30- @Jennifer Rowe @me!
9:30 – 18:006 -
I have nothing to play recently so I started playing old games.
Today I launched gta vice city on my old pc. Got more than 200 hours in that game during my childhood. Game from 2002 and I laughed when driving a car. It was so natural and fun. Michael Jackson singing Billy Jean and police chasing my ass when I’m trying to find a bribe in the city. That was fun.
For me most of today’s games can’t compete in gameplay mechanics with that game from 20 years ago.
Maybe we have better graphics but gaming fun got worse.
I think it’s cause most of games are made on commercial engines to save money and game studios focus on graphics cause it’s cheaper than paying software developer.
They focus on games to be competitive between players so ai got worse.
Big studio games became generic like movies, they don’t want you to have fun but they want to give you a story around by delivering lots of content in game, achievements, stars but the gameplay itself is bugged and meh.
They don’t focus on things people want to do but they focus on target groups. Most today’s big title games are meh cause they’re made by people who don’t play them.
They don’t play them cause they don’t have time cause of management that changes requirements cause they asked target groups and that would sell. Well if I play a game I’m not interested in story despite some basic stuff to keep the progress forward, if I wanted a big story I would watch a movie or tv show. I play games to explore, feel the world and have fun. I don’t need a linear deep story for that cause I’m in game so give me good gameplay so I can feel the world.
Most of classic game hits didn’t had tons of text and tons of stuff to do but they somehow wanted you to play more. Cause they were competitive between player and computer, the controls felt natural and while progressing you was eaten by the game mechanics more and more not by the story but by amount of stuff you could do as you progress or difficulty increase or enemies behavior change.
Now we’re getting all at once, mostly pointed and with detailed tutorial what you can do. There’s no explanation there’s no discovery what you can and what you can’t do at start. You get all and you decide to throw game away because the moment you launched it you got everything so you spent money just to get stuff you won’t play cause it’s meh and you go back to cs or other looter shooter to kill people cause you’re pissed off that the game was meh.
Well I’m glad I was a kid in 90s and 2000s cause I could enjoy gaming before it was targeted to broader public and become another shallow mass media industry that don’t give a fuck about gameplay cause they want to tell you so many things, they want you to know them cause they’re so important that they forgot that I can read a book and I came to play game to get a different feeling then reading book.
Modern games are like books filled with small stories and nice graphics where you can open it on every page and read a little piece of shitty crap.
Just take this piece and go to toilet so you can wipe your ass with that story and begin other one, look around, puke and go to toilet to take a dump again. I lost my hope to get something fresh or filled with nice gameplay from gaming industry. It’s dead.4 -
Things that happened yesterday according to Kiki's internal clock:
- Michael Jackson died
- Wi-Fi 802.11n
- USB 3.0
- Microsoft bought Skype
- Android 5.0 and Material Design
- GTA V
- Skyrim7 -
So I recently wacthed Prison Break
Right in the beginning, Michael takes the hdd out of his computer and throws it out the window
Me: Yea he should've dismantled that drive and thrown the pieces away in different places
Then later on someone else is trying to figure his plan and finds the drive and recovers data. Yea.. what did I say?6 -
!rant
Enough of this damn youtube selecting shit songs for me, so please guys share playlists !
What i am used to :
- macklemore
- Korn
- muse
- nickleback
- system of down
- eminem
- michael bubley
- nirvana
- tarja turunen
- rihana
- christina agilera (wrong spelling i know ...)
Just gave them in my mind's order, i listen to a lot of their songs, but recently there is no fucking good artist at all.
I like to listen to something who moves, not static idiot repetitive songs. I am fed of daft punk.
Please guys share, i can no longer enjoy music !!42 -
Not really a rant but just curious who listens to podcasts and which channel is your favorite?
Mine are Software Engineering Radio and InfoQ4 -
Best rants in movies, my top list.
John Malkovich - Burn After Reading
Bank Account: https://youtube.com/watch/...
League of morons https://youtube.com/watch/...
Michael Douglas - Falling Down - actually all the movie is a big rant, too many scenes, just this:
I want breakfast: https://youtube.com/watch/...
John Goodman - The Big Lebowsky
There are rules https://youtube.com/watch/...
Al Pacino - Devil's advocate
God: https://youtube.com/watch/...3 -
MENTORS - MY STORY (Part II)
The next mentor was my first boss at my previous job:
2.- Manager EA
So, I got new in the job, I had a previous experience in other company, but it was no good. I learned a lot about code, but almost nothing about the industry (project management, how to handle requirements, etc.) So in this new job all I knew was the code and the structure of the enterprise system they were using (which is why the hired me).
EA was BRILLIANT. This guy was the Manager at the IT department (Software Development, Technology and IT Support) and he was all over everything, not missing a beat on what was going on and the best part? He was not annoying, he knew how to handle teams, times, estimations, resources.
Did the team mess something up? He was the first in line taking the bullets.
Was the team being sieged by users? He was there attending them to avoid us being disturbed.
Did the team accomplished something good? He was behind, taking no credit and letting us be the stars.
If leadership was a sport this guy was Michael Jordan + Ronaldo Nazario, all in one.
He knew all the technical details of our systems, and our platforms (Server Architectures both software and hardware, network topology, languages being used, etc, etc). So I was SHOCKED when I learned he had no formation in IT or Computer Science. He was an economist, and walked his way up in the company, department from department until he got the job as IT Manager.
From that I learned that if you wanna do things right, all you need is the will of improving yourself and enough effort.
One of the first lessons he taught me: "Do your work in a way that you can go on holidays without anyone having to call you on the phone."
And for me those are words to live by. Up to that point I thought that if people needed to call me or needed me, I was important, and that lessons made me see I was completely wrong.
He also thought me this, which became my mantra ever since:
LEARN, TEACH AND DELEGATE.
Thank you master EA for your knowledge.
PART I: https://devrant.com/rants/1483428/...1 -
!dev again
For the science lovers here, just wanna let you know..
If you like VSauce, DONG, Ding and those YT channels (physics and other science stuff) from Michael, this month all the mind field videos (paid YT series) on VSauce are free to watch for everyone this month.
Watched the first 2 episodes yesterday. Pretty fucking interesting.4 -
"Most of the mediocre design today comes from designers who are faithfully doing as they were taught in school: they worship at the altar of the visual." - Michael Bierut
-
that feel when I am the only one in team who knows at least one framework.. and coworkers refuse to learn and instead copy and paste code parts from old, insecure apps into new apps... 😐1
-
To the one who named his Stressball stressy.
This is my Stressball and he is called Michael.
(Any resemblance to a living person is purely coincidental)1 -
Need to work on a web application from 2002... the code is a mess. Whats the oldest code you worked on?5
-
Not a DRV rant bit I am Maaad AF here
I am doing an internship at an amazing company. Everything is going well and I have learned a lot. This internship is for 6 months and almost 4 months are remaining. Now this shitfuckery of obscene ignorance that I call my college , wants every student to attend classes no matter what. I have already told them the status of my internship but they said "college is more important ". Along with this they want 2 projects in this semester and my HOD said we have to give developments of our project weekly
When I told this amazing piece of human knowledge that I won't get off for every week and I will be using git , he can see my developments and we can communicate on slack etc.
This humble genius said with utmost compassion " what is got, I don't use it , come daily to college". Man, first time in my life I have ever given that Michael Corleone stare at sollozzo killing death stare.
Indian colleges are messed up.1 -
Recently I started coding a project for my school with two of my friends. The first one is a person which spends most of his time reading 4chan and joking about Pope, you know this kind of person. The second, Michael, is a really good partner for coding, he's just an opposite of Jedrzej, the first one. Jedrzej used to call people 'cancer' and this kind of sh**. Lately Michael said, that he's mother has breast cancer and he left our conversation on Facebook. Later I told Jedrzej, that he has to tell Michael 'sorry', but he wrote something stupid (doesn't matter what) and the situation only went wrong. At least I told them that they have to bury the hatchet and start working. The only problem here is that Michael and I made 99.7% of our project, Jedrzej only updated README and shared his VPS. I'm a full-stack dev, but our project is on laravel and I don't know what kind of sorcery is this framework so Michael does the back-end. My question to all of you who read this rant - what should I do with lazy Jedrzej?7
-
Do you know how MySQL got it's name? Well, it's a really interesting thing one should know. Atleast, I find it really amusing.
~Michael "Monty" Widenius is one of the founder of MySQL and one of his daughter's name is My(after whom MySQL was named).~7 -
"A lot of the things about design that tend to get designers really interested aren’t that important." - Michael Bierut1
-
I just found this video on YouTube.:
"Growing Human Neurons Connected to a Computer"
https://youtube.com/watch/...
It might be a worthy opponent to ML/AI solutions.
PS: It is the first time where I see this channel. It has a lot of interesting videos. I would recommend it. It is like a mixture of Vsauce ("Hey, Michael here"), Vsauce2, Vsauce3, the creator of homonculus, NileRed and Veritasium.2 -
"A lot of the things about design that tend to get designers really interested aren’t that important." - Michael Bierut5
-
"never call anything 'ng'.. One day it won't be."
- Michael W. Lucas @ BSD Now 197 at ~26:40 mark.1 -
"I don’t care if you’re a billionaire. If you haven’t started a company, really gambled your resume and your money and maybe even your marriage to just go crazy and try something on your own, you’re no pirate and you aren’t in the club." - Michael Arrington6
-
"If you do good work for good clients, it will lead to other good work for other good clients. If you do bad work for bad clients, it will lead to other bad work for other bad clients. " - Michael Bierut1
-
Our current project...
First three sprints... going fine and slow get used to each other.
Later sprints get more of a clear scope. With a deadline a couple of months later. The team raises some red flags with problems.
Seems like the PO/PM doesn't get it or ignores it.
More sprints later with more confrontations. PO/PM still doesn't get it.
Team introduces a new theme song
https://m.youtube.com/watch/...
Hopes she gets it now . . . -
Lee Quessenberry [7:43 AM]
Michael is learning about stylesheets from Hubspot. HO LEEE SHEEEIT
Joe Makarski [7:43 AM]
dood. those hubspot stylehseets are soooo insane
Lee Quessenberry [7:43 AM]
I know! LOL
[7:43]
Better him than me
Joe Makarski [7:44 AM]
it's like Dreamweaver and Adobe's other web app eat each other
[7:44]
ate*
Lee Quessenberry [7:44 AM]
and after they get done eating each other they go to the sperm bank and get knocked up by microsoft frontpage.
Joe Makarski [7:44 AM]
seriously.
Lee Quessenberry [7:45 AM]
WTF -
A man dies, but how did everyone know he was sick? They saw his coffin.
Ted passes gas in a meeting. Manager: You have gone to far Ted!
I have named my oven Michael Jackson. It takes far to long to pre-hee-heat!2 -
is being a tech/dev person, a dead end job?
i have been thinking about this for sometime. as a dev, we can progress into senior dev, then tech lead, then staff engineer probably. but that is that. for a tech person :
1. their salary levels are defined. for eg, a junior may earn $10k pm , and the highest tech guy (say staff engineer) will earn $100k pm, but everyone's salary will be spread over this range only, in different slots.
2. some companies give stocks and bonuses , but most of the time that too is fixed to say 30% of the annual salary at max.
3. its a low risk job as a min of x number of tech folks are always required for their tech product to work properly. plus these folks are majorly with similar skills, so 2 react guys can be reduced to 1 but not because of incompetency .
4. even if people are incompetent, our domain is friendly and more like a community learning stuff. we share our knowledge in public domain and try to make things easy to learn for other folks inside and outside the office. this is probably a bad thing too
compare this to businesses , management and sales they have different:
1. thier career progression : saleman > sales team manager> branch manager > multiple branch manager(director) > multiple zones/state manager (president) > multiple countries/ company manager (cxo)
2. their salaries are comission based. they get a commission in the number of sales they get, later theybget comission in the sales of their team> their branch > their zone and finally in company's total revenue. this leads to very meagre number in salaries, but a very major and mostly consistent and handsome number in commission. that is why their salaries ranges from $2k pm to $2-$3millions per month.
3. in sales/management , their is a always a room for optimisation . if a guy is selling less products, than another guy, he could be fired and leads could be given to other/new person. managers can optimise the cost/expenses chain and help company generate wider profits. overall everyone is running for (a) to get an incentive and (b) to dodge their boss's axe.
4. this makes it a cut-throat and a network-first domain. people are arrogant and selfish, and have their own special tricks and tactics to ensure their value.
as a manager , you don't go around sharing the stories on how you got apple to partner with foxconn for every iphone manufacturing, you just enjoy the big fat bonus check and awe of inspiration that your junior interns make.
this sound a little bad , but on the contrary , this involves being a people person and a social animal. i remember one example from the office web series, where different sales people would have different strategies for getting a business: Michael would go wild, Stanley would connect with people of his race, and Phyllis would dress up like a client's wife.
in real life too, i have seen people using various social cues to get business. the guy from whom we bought our car, he was so friendly with my dad, i once thought that they are some long lost brothers.
this makes me wonder : are sales/mgmt people being better at being entrepreneur and human beings than we devs?
in terms of ethics, i don't think that people who are defining their life around comissions and cut throat races to be friendly or supportive beings. but at the same time, they would be connecting with people and their real problems, so they might become more helpful than their friends/relatives and other "good people" ?
Additionally, the skills of sales/mgmt translate directly to entrepreneurship, so every good salesman/manager is a billionaire in making. whereas we devs are just being peas in a pod , debating on next big npm package and trying to manage taxes on our already meagre , "consistent" income :/
mann i want some people skills like these guys10 -
My coworkers and I work in close quarters in a laboratory all day. We all get along well, and since we don’t have “offices” and often work together on things, we are a pretty close team.
We recently got a new member, Jill, who is 22, and this is her first job out of college. She lives at home with her parents, who are incredibly well-off, and has lived at home all through college. The rest of us are late 20’s to late 30’s. Jill is very nice but also very sensitive and somewhat immature, and I’m not sure if she’s just not 100% sure how to deal with people in professional settings yet or what’s going on, but almost everything that comes out of her mouth has to do with money, mainly how much money her family has. If it might offer some context, Jill and her family are not from the U.S., but have been here since Jill was a teenager.
I usually just kind of inwardly roll my eyes and change the subject, but with the holidays it’s gotten considerably worse and Jill is driving my team and me crazy. Some examples of things she has said just in the past week are: “My dad’s buying my mom a new car for Christmas!” “I’m going to buy my mom a Gucci Keychain for Christmas. It’s $225 dollars!” “I’m so excited, my mom is buying my puppy a Tiffany collar for Christmas!”
The thing that sent me over the edge was when a male coworker asked for ladies’ opinions on a very nice coat he was considering buying for his girlfriend. My opinion was something along the lines of “I like it, but I would go with the gray because white coats get dirty very easily, in my experience,” whereas Jill’s opinion was “It’s not even a name brand, you should go with either a North Face or a Michael Kors.”
I am honestly not sure if Jill knows there are people in the world who are not as well-off as her family is, and that people who aren’t as “fortunate” don’t want to hear these kinds of things every day. We are not paupers, but we are definitely not buying our dogs Tiffany collars. Is there a way that I can tell her to please stop talking about how rich her family is, without sounding jealous or mean, or causing a lot of friction on my team? Like I said, she’s a nice person, but money is a touchy subject in any capacity and I think this might hinder her professionally in the future, not to mention that we’re all sick of hearing about it!3 -
This poster is shite quality but I've transcribed the gold found on it:
The Technical Support Specialist:
- SEND US AN URGENT EMAIL IN UPPERCASE. We'll flag it as a rush job. Really.
- Loves it when a user calls screaming "the internet is broken".
- Gonna snap the next time a user asks why they don't have permission to install a George Michael screensaver.
- Last vacation: catching the first rays of sun from the back booth in Tim Hortons. Sweeeeeet!
- Most dreaded words: "I don't know what happened, I only opened the attachment".
- Has memorized over 100 access codes, but can't remember what day it is.
- Is amazed a user can have five chatrooms and three celebrity sites opened at once - but reading an I.T. support e-mail sent with high importance - now that's a complicated request.
- When you call with a tech support problem and say you'll be back in 5 - I'll say "Great!" And try not to snicker.
- System crashed last Thursday. Haven't seen my wife and kids since.2 -
My favorite xkcd quotes (order is not significant )
1. _*It's the world's tiniest open-source violin.*_
2. ...too honest. Scale it back.
3. I'd like to bestow upon you the first annual AWARD of EXCELLENCE in BEING VERY SMART. May you continue to grace our internet with your wisdom.
4. wait, what?
5. Yeah, uh ... I accidentally took the Fourier transform of my cat ...
6. Okay, we _suck_ at this.
7. You either need more medication or less. Not sure which.
8. I THINK EVERYONE INVOLVED HERE IS CUTE
9. World's Greatest Daughter
10. People who open bananas for the other end
11. Just for the sake of the argument, we should get a boat! You can invite the Devil, too, if you want.
12. This explain a lot.
13. My bag is 90% backup batteries.
14. Well- will you be my "it's complicated" on facebook?
15. Oh God. Gotta get out. The window.
16. Sweet! I finally got my subduction license!
17. I'll tell you later - you wouldn't appreciate the punchline over this 12kbps cell phone codec.
18. RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL
19. Just talk to them like a f***ing human being
20. In ordering #5, self-driving cars will happily drive you around, but if you tell them to drive to a car dealership, they just lock the doors and politely ask how long humans take to starve to death.
21. I eat my body weight in food every 31 days. That's slightly faster than the human average.
22. Nice try, Mike. Get out of the well.
23. Apollo retroreflectors
24. Can't see space vampires
25. My class on screenshots was a big hit, although for some reason I only ever sold one copy of the digital textbook.
26. WHAT.
27. Introducing The xkcd Phone 6, VIII, 10, X, 26, and 1876. We didn't start this nonconsecutive version number war, but we will not lose it.
28. My morality has evaporated over the harsh UV light.
29. Come on. Somewhere at the edge of the bell curve is the girl for me.
30. P.P.S. I can kill you with my brain.
31. Time to accelerate this giant machine up to terrifying speeds and steer it using my hands, which I am allowed to do because I took a 20-minute test in high school!
32. My normal approach is useless here
33. Wake up, sheeple!
34. Sir- strategic command has send us a lunch order.
35. Yeah, but first I'm gonna go comatose for a few hours, hallucinate vividly, and maybe suffer amnesia about the whole experience.
36. HOLY S***. Guys- people are complicated!
37. OH GOD- SPIDERS
38. Perhaps you need a crash course in taking hints. Here's your first lesson: We're not actually walking somewhere together; I'm trying to leave this conversation and you're following me.
39. How did the pole vaulters get up to our balcony?
40. Friggin' Python
41. I am the goddamn *Michael Jordan* of blurring the line between metaphor and reality. [tosses a basketball] -
GODAMNFUUUCKIIIT
WHICH EVER IDIOT PROGRAMMED HALYARD SHOULD DIE A SLOW DEATH IN HELL!!!
A CD TOOL HAVING THE WORST INSTALLER EVER IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING JOKE YOU COULD COME UP WITH!!! FUCK NETFLIX FUCK SPINNAKER FUCK EVERY BIT OF SHIT TOOLING THAT COMES FROM IT!!!!! -
"A lot of the things about design that tend to get designers really interested aren’t that important." - Michael Bierut
-
"I became a graphic artist because of the tools. I love working at a big drawing table with traditional tools: T-squares, compasses, mechanical pencils, French curves, blank ink, and graphite. At a computer, one works on a keyboard. I never considered myself a typist." - Michael Schwab1
-
Brrrr
Brrrr
Sheeesh
Having sex with my girlfriend calling honey swimming in money Michael Phelps
Keep my girl coming back round like solar system
I’m so fly I got arachnophobia
Skrrrrrra *drop mic* *finger guns*4 -
Either I am too sensitive with my name or I just can't stop laughing when someone keep misspelled my English name, "Michael" into "Micheal".
I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but... *eye-roll*
Anyway, I am still wondering that what wording or how does it take for them to accidentally typed from 'ae' into 'ea'..?
Super curious here.3 -
so i just started watching the office, and 3 episodes down, i can relate to it so much. all of my managers are like Michael (grossly incompetent, unaware and self centred) and all of my seniors are like dwight (ass lickers and 0-empathy) . am i really in a super toxic place?11
-
"If you wanna study some real java shit, drink coffee and take laxatives"
~ Michael Quessenberry c.2017undefined learn real coffee shit java develop diahrrea some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast2 -
The customer service dept at Koss Headphones sent me an adapter gratis for my Pro 4/AA headphones so I could listen to loud rock and roll on my pc. I've been using Koss exclusively since I rec'd a pair for Christmas in 1971. Despite the natural deterioration in sound quality on a PC, I found I could hear more on certain Rolling Stones soundboards [the ones in question are Philadelphia 1972 and New York City a week later]. So I penned a rather whimsical email to Michael Koss, who actually replied with a letter, the kind we used to lick stamps for and put in a mailbox.
OK, that PC died. And the HP I have somehow has a really loose jack so the whole mechanism will slide out if you move the least little bit. It happened so often I became shell shocked about listen to loud music on my headphones at night when my nabes were sleeping because I didn't want to wake anybody up.
Finally, after too much jiggling, the end bit of the adapter got stuck in the headphone jack. Koss sent me another adapter gratis. Last night, I got out my headphones, removed the new adapter from its envelope, and inserted tweezers into the jack to pull the broken off bit out.
Except the broken off bit slid deeper into the jack. On my own, I have been able to rig the pc so I can use the speakers. And a friend who can remove the bit of the jack stuck in the jack will be over in a couple of days.
I went online and googled the methods others have used to remove broken off bits. That was worth the keystrokes!
In any case, I just wanted to say something about the irony of expecting the problem to be over and then having a few days more to live with the broken bit. -
Scorpion: The worst TV show I will probably ever see.
that's all my rantrant programmers in tv worst than a steven seagal movie ultra low budget movies are even better worst than michael bay bad tv show so called geniuses5 -
This has nothing to do wiv developing stuff this site was created for. I just wanted to make a short public statement and there really isn't any place else to say it without the idea that some oik would infantalize it and make fun.
It goes under the heading of something like, "Personal Irony: I'm Not Codependent, I'm Just Trying to Help [Myself]!"
In 2016 I created a playlist that included REM's "Let Me In," Michael Stipe's song to Kurt Cobain. And "Head Down", and "Black Hole Sun," by Soundgarden. I have a good singing voice, I think it's a baritone. But those notes at the end of BHS, you know, "Won't you come?" When you sing it, you pronounce the lyric: WOAN CHOO CU-UH-UHM, the "UH-" dropping an octave into "UHM." It's particular to my range that dropping that note requires discipline and concentration. And even then I'd say I've sung it 100 times and nailed it to my satisfaction maybe twice. Anyway, I had these two songs as a playlist in my media player. I listened to them and sang along as quietly as I could, it being four a.m. here in Seattle. And as the final notes of BHS fragmented and skipped back into eternity, I felt like total shit. Not at all normal for me to personally feel the loss of an entertainer, but at that moment I did feel sad. That's it. Thanks for reading this odd little collection of words.1 -
"Designers tend to overvalue differentiation and originality. We are taught this in design school. The best solutions are created ex nihilo, break new ground, resemble nothing else in the world. Everyone wants to stand out, or else what’s the point? But this isn’t true. Most people don’t want to stand out. They want to fit in. More precisely, they want to fit in with the people they like, or want to be like." - Michael Bierut
-
Why do companies waste serious cash in office parties? I'm talking about those hundred-thousand-dollar extravaganzas that major tech companies seem to be addicted to.
Poll after poll finds that most employees would rather have the cash, so "kissing the collective asses of tech staff so that they won't leave" is not an explanation that holds up.
The "Roman Triumph" explanation also does not make any sense. If rich assholes want to flex their immeasurable riches, why would they invite mere mortals that do not put a lot of effort in being famous or pretty? Couldn't they invite the entire Victoria's Secret catalogue of models and the NE Patriots? Surely it would make for much more impressive photos of decadence.
The "Michael Scott" explanation also falls short. Companies spend serious cash on consultants and professional party planners, that are sure to know a lot of people. Money can and often does buy personality, so no rich asshole is ever a party dud.
Why else do they force most of their own staff into what they perceive as a "do not relax or you may get fired" loud and poorly lit meeting that takes hours to dress up for? What am I missing?5 -
Thread topic: religion, philosophy, matrix
Summary: skip if you don't like these topics, stay if you want to find out why the conclusion has relevance to programming
.
.
.
Ok.
Let me get this straight:
There are 4 founders of the BAYC NFTs.
1 has a fasist/nazi pseudo name
1 has a racist pseudo name
1 has a satanic pseudo name
1 has a pedophile pseudo name
Their logo is a copy of Nazi Waffen Totenkopf emblem, which was the German division force of the Nazi concentration camps
And they became billionaires.
Ok
.
.
.
Sam bankman the founder of FTX crypto shit robbed people for 32 BILLION dollars. And hes not in jail because he donated most of that money to democratic political party, leaving himself 1 billion dollars as allowance. Now that he bought political power, politicians protect him. So he's having fun in the bahamas and penthauses, having generational wealth and enriching his fraud parents.
Ok
.
.
.
Balenciaga. They posted photos of female children holding fluffy toys with BDSM sexual bondage. Books on the table, with excerpt of Michael Borremans, who draws "art" of naked children covered in blood and being sacrificed in rituals. Then a book of "The Cremaster Cycle", which is a demented image that symbolizes "the murder and resurrection of Abiff". Hiram Abiff was the central character during Masonic initiation rituals as the culmination of a three-part process. Etc
Balenciaga is a multi million dollar "brand".
Ok.
.
.
.
What i learned through all my years of existing on this planet is, being good and doing good, does not pay off. I still live in the matrix. I am still a slave. I am still playing the game of earn to survive. Even while doing software engineering. And I don't know 1 single wealthy person who has obtained all that wealth by doing something good.
This has further lead me to realization: God doesn't help you get rich or wealthy. God doesn't give a fuck if you're rich or poor. He aint gonna help you. But do you know who will? That's right - evil forces will help you get wealthy. Funny how that works?
Because I am christian and believe in God, pray to God and did good all my life - I haven't received anything good in return, my life has not improved, in fact it has devolved and became worse.
Therefore, I came to a conclusion: I will switch teams. I'll let the evil demonic forces take over and guide me to wealth. I'm ready to scam, defraud, develop ponzis and step on corpses and people to get out of the matrix. Perhaps this is how and why good people turn into villains?
Now you understand.
I dont ask to be on the top. I just want to Not play the Matrix game. Which is the game where you have to earn to survive. I want to get into any store and buy whatever i want, without worrying how much does it cost or asking for a discount. People dumber than me do it. But i cant? That means there has to be a loophole in the matrix. An escape plan is possible. I tried escaping since 2018 and failed. For 4, almost 5 years. Because i was trying to escape through good forces. I'll now try to escape using demonic forces and perhaps I'll end up like BAYC founders, FTX founder, Balenciaga brand and many others similar to them. Ending up even half of their success or a fraction - I'll be more than happy. I am not happy living in poverty. Im getting sick of it. I'm getting sick to be underpaid $600/month for doing a job as hard as software engineering, even with a CS degree. Life is not meant to be slaved away till 65+ years old. I can't even afford to buy a car with this slave salary.
So forgive me God. Im just tired of life. Im tired of being a slave. Im tired of watching my parents become older, weaker and still working. I'll shut down all of my morals and I am ready to rob people in Web3 using all of my programming knowledge that has been undervalued.
"A little boy asked God for a new bike for his birthday, but he knows God doesn't work that way. So he stole a bike and prayed to God for forgiveness"21 -
I’ve watched the Vsauce episode about rotation again the other day.
The one where Michael explains how gyroscopes were used to measure the rate of rotation of the earth.
And I realized that this is another nice proof against the flat earth crap.
And it should be easy to test, too.
Somewhat related, the cloud formations due to the coriolis effect can be seen as a proof (for the globe) as well.2 -
Deserializing a class that implements Serializable which also extends HashMap<Serializable,Serializable> using Jackson its so mind-blowing 🤯🤯🤯2
-
I have been wondering where i should start from.I am a newbie to programming.Weighing all the options to see which language would be an easier pick.*sigh* (Any help guys?)9
-
"I think advertising is a brilliant concept that has been pooped upon by selfish marketers, resulting in corrupted motives and flawed execution." - Michael Mistretta1
-
Just build it, build it, build it, build it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just build it, build it
Just build it, build it
Just build it, build it
Just build it, build it -
"Robot, let us pray! Can and should robots have religious functions? An ethical exploration of religious robots" by Anna Puzio.
"With approximately 20 religious robots worldwide, religious robotics is still in its early stages (Balle 2022). However, there are already some notable examples of religious robots, and with advancing technology, it is expected that their numbers will increase. Here is a brief overview: BlessU-2, a German robot, delivers blessings in various languages (Löffler et al. 2021, p. 575). SanTO (the Sanctified Theomorphic Operator) (Trovato et al. 2019) takes on the appearance of a Christian Catholic saint and recites sacred texts while accompanying the faithful in prayer. It also serves as a companion with psychological functions, contributing to the well-being of individuals, particularly the elderly (Löffler et al. 2021, p. 573; Trovato et al. 2021, p. 545). Celeste, resembling a Catholic angel, provides spiritual guidance through prayer and prints personalized Bible verses. Meanwhile, Mindar, a robot priest in Japan, embodies the Buddhist teacher, Kannon Bodhisattva, and conducts Zen ceremonies at the temple (Smith 2022, p. ch. 5; Klein 2019). The monk robot, Xi’aner, follows visitors around the temple, responds to their inquiries about Buddhism and plays Buddhist music. It is also available as a chatbot with which you can communicate over online messenger services. Xi’aner is designed with the purpose of promoting Buddhism in China (Trovato et al. 2021, p. 544; Löffler et al. 2021, p. 573). Consequently, it is perceived not as a threat to religious teachings but rather as a means of contributing to the dissemination of Buddhism (Löffler et al. 2021, p. 573). Moreover, in Japan, the humanoid robot Pepper is utilized in Buddhist funerals because it is cheaper than a human priest. It also broadcasts the ceremony over the internet for those who are unable to attend (ibid.). Michael Arnold et al. (2021) delve into the deployment of Carl, Pepper, and the robot dog, Aibo, in funeral settings."
https://link.springer.com/article/...3 -
Just letting y'all know, the Michael Hartl books "Learn enough to be dangerous" are on sale. These the items I used to acquaint myself with Rails, to me they are good, maybe others have more experience with them and can recommend better, but to me I like em.4
-
“Remember, code is your house, and you have to live in it.” - Michael Feathers
https://goodreads.com/quotes/... -
"I’ve always considered myself a graphic artists – a draftsman – as opposed to a typist. I do still work on a drawing table. At times drawing on a computer feels like I’m drawing on an Etch-a-Sketch." - Michael Schwab
-
#Suphle Rant 2: Michael's obduration
For the uninitiated, Suphle is a PHP framework I built. This is the 2nd installment in my rants on here about it.
Some backstory: A friend and I go back ~5 years. Let's call him Michael. He was CTO of the company we worked at. After his emigration, they seem to have taught him some new stack and he needed somewhere to practise it on. That stack was Spring Boot and Angular. He and his pals convinced product owner at our workplace to rebuild the project (after 2+ years of active development) from scratch using these new techs. One thing led to the other, and I left the place after some months.
Fast forward a year later, dude hits me up to broach an incoming gig he wants us to collab on. Asks where I'm at now, and I reply I took the time off to build Suphle. Told him it's done already and it contains features from Spring, Rust, Nest and Rails; basically, I fixed everything they claimed makes PHP nonviable for enterprise software, added features from those frameworks that would attract a neutral party. Dude didn't even give me audience. I only asked him to look at the repo's readme to see what it does. That's faster than reading the tests (since the docs are still in progress). He stopped responding.
He's only the second person who has contacted me for a gig since I left. Both former colleagues. Both think lowly of PHP, ended up losing my best shot at earning a nickel while away from employed labour. It definitely feels like shooting myself in the foot.
I should take up his offer, get some extra money to stay afloat until Suphle's release. But he's adamant I use Spring. Even though Laravel is the ghetto, I would grudgingly return to it than spend another part of my life fighting to get the most basic functionality up and running without a migraine in Spring. This is a framework without an official documentation. You either have to rely on baeldung or mushroom blogs. Then I have to put up with mongodb (or nosql, in short).
I want to build a project I'm confident and proud about delivering, one certified by automated tests for it, something with an architecture I've studied extensively before arriving at. Somewhere to apply all the research that was brainstormed before this iteration of Suphle was built.
I want autonomy, not to argue over things I'm sure about. He denied me this when we worked together. I may not mind swallowing them for the money, but a return to amateur mode in Spring is something I hope I never get to experience soon
So, I'm wondering: if his reaction reflects the general impression PHP has among developers globally, it means I've built a castle on a sinking ship. If someone who can vouch for me as a professional would prefer not to have anything to do with PHP despite my reassurance it'll be difficult to convince others within and beyond that there could be a more equipped alternative to their staple tool. Reminds me of the time the orchestra played to their deaths while the titanic sank8