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Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements, now how do you want their placements sir?"
M.D: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room & close the door, leave them alone & come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:-
1) If they are counting the bricks, Put them in Accounts deptt.
2) If they are re-counting the bricks, Put them in Auditing.
3) If they have messed up the whole room with the bricks, Put them in Engineering.
4) If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, Put them in Planning.
5) If they are throwing the bricks at each other, Put them in Operations.
6) If they are sleeping, Put them in Security.
7) If they have broken the bricks into pieces, Put them in Information Technology.
8) If they are sitting idle, Put them in Human Resources.
9) If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, Put them in Sales.
10) If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.
11) If they are staring out of the window, Put them in Strategic Planning.
And.......
12) If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
😂🤣😃😁😅😜6 -
I love listening to music and reading on the train every morning. On my way to the station, I get a text, "DUDE. ***** committed suicide."
He was a good friends of ours from high school. I remember once he got a few of us to go caving on homecoming since none of us had dates. He'd never finish a candy bar; would give half of everything away. He once drove out to California to try to start over; lasted three days and came home, but through a girl he met he was in Hawaii for a year.
He lived a lot of life, and he had a heart of gold.
I didn't get out my ebook on my phone. I didn't even put my headphones in.
I had lost another close friend from University while I was overseas. I remember being in the city art gallery when I got the news. I walked right out to the harbor, fell to my knees and cried. I always thought one day I'd be home and could shoot the shit with my old roommate. Now he was gone, and the only thing I had from him was a text from 10 days before saying, "I haven't been doing too well, but thanks for asking."
I'm back in another software engineering job, on the train to an 8-to-5, shakin it for the money. I couldn't read on the commute. I just looked out that window as the train car descended into the subway, and thought to myself, "What am I even doing anyway?"
I'm in my mid-30s; too young to be losing people like this.
I'm sorry man. I wish we had caught up sooner. I wish you weren't gone, but I know you're at peace.23 -
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .
In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.
A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”
When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.
IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…”
The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.
The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.
I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them
The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.
I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...
The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.
I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!
DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them
The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.
The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh
I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…11 -
TL;DR: Don't ever interrupt me while taking a shit.
>be me taking a shit comfortably in the bathroom, not bothering anyone
>hear my cousin outside calling his gf
>nofsgiven.jpg
>suddenly stuff comes flying through the window and hear her gf laughing in his phone speaker
>stupid asshat was trying to make his gf laugh by bothering me while in the debug room
>scream from the top of my lungs for him to stop interrupting my defecation process
>stuff keeps coming from the window
>my brown creation comes back inside like a scared turtle
>pull up pantaloons
>get out of thinking room
>open up laptop, start ubuntu
>sudo apt-get install aircrack-ng
>enable monitor mode, get phone, ap mac addresses
>vim shittyvengeance.sh
>write small script that deauths his phone and then waits some seconds and then starts over again so he doesn't think it's me
>:wq and make script executable
>sleep 180; cowsay ding dong ur vengeance has arrived; sudo ./shittyvengeance.sh
>tuck into bed and close laptop before sleep time ends
>his call suddenly drops
>"Matt are you messing up with my WiFi again?"
>"Nah man. Not working for me either. Must be localcompany's problem."
>mfw he can't talk with his gf for more than 15 seconds before losing connection
>omgitworks.jpg
>figure that it was the most useful thing I had made in a pc in these two years at uni
>be proud of me for making a stupid script
>think about going back to my pearl white throne
>no longer wanting to drop my supplies
>go to sleep
>mfw forgot to wipe ass
My first story in devRant! Was lurking for quite a while and finally felt like sharing something 🙃24 -
I was 15 years old and the first year of high school. Everything was new to me and I was such a newbie. At that time I had 2-3 year of programming behind me at an institution where they taught competitive programming. And I knew something about computers. Not much but more than most of my school mates. At that time I wanted to become "super cool hacker".
So we had this very very thought teacher for history which was also our form master. She really knows how to explained everything about history and in an interesting way. But while she was teaching we also had to write down notes from her powerpoints that were on a projector. And occasionally she would wait for us to copy everything and then move on with her lecture. But sometimes she didn't. This was frustrating as hell. The whole class would complain about this because you couldn't take notes down normal, you had to do it at double speed.
But she got one weak spot. She was not very good with computers. Our school computers were locked in some kinda closet so that students didn't have physical access to a computer and were also password protected. So I came up with the plan to plant wireless mouse in her computer so that I could control her mouse. At that time it seemed like SUPER HACKER MASTER PLAN.
So I got an opportunity one time when she left the classroom and let closet where the computer was open. I quickly sneaked the USB of the wireless mouse in the computer and then go back to the seat.
So THE FUN began.
Firstly I would only go back in powerpoint so that all my schoolmates could write down notes including me. And it was hilarious to watch when she didn't know what is happening. So then I would move her mouse when she tried to close some window. I would just move it slightly so she wouldn't notice that somebody else is controlling mouse. And by missing X button just by slight she would click other things and other things would pop up and now she had to close this thing so it became a nightmare for her. And she would become angry at the mouse and start complaining how the computer doesn't work and that mouse doesn't obey her.
One time when she didn't pay attention to her computer and projector I went to paint program and drew a heart and wrote we love you (In Slovenian Imamo vas radi -> See the picture below) and one of my school mates has the picture of it. We were all giggling and she didn't know what is was for. And I managed to close everything before she even noticed.
So it got to the point where she couldn't hand it more so she called our school IT guy so that he would check her computer (2 or 3 weeks passed before she called IT guy). And he didn't find anything. He was really crappy IT guy in general. So one week passed by and I still had messed with her mouse. So she got a replacement computer. Who would guessed all the problems went away (because I didn't have another mouse like that). I guess when our IT guy took the computer to his room and really thoroughly check it he found my USB.
So he told her what was the problem she was so pissed off really I didn't see her pissed off so much in all my 4 years in high school. She demanded the apology from whom did it. And at that moment my mind went through all possible scenarios... And the most likely one was that I was going to be expelled... And I didn't have the balls to say that I did it and I was too afraid... Thanks to God nobody from my school mates didn't tell that it was me.
While she waited that somebody would come forward there was one moment when our looks met and at that moment both of us knew that I was the one that did it.
Next day the whole class wrote the apology letter and she accepted it. But for the rest of 4 years whenever was there a problem with the computer I had to fixed it and she didn't trust anybody not even our IT guy at school. It was our unwritten contract that I would repair her computer to pay off my sin that I did. And she once even trusted me with her personal laptop.
So to end this story I have really high respect for her because she is a great teacher and great persons that guide me through my teen years. And we stayed in contact.
11 -
Today I needed the scroll lock key.
I was running a super long test suite, one which puts a green dot on the screen every 500ms, so you can't scroll up. I needed to view some output of an earlier command... in other words, I needed to lock the automatic scrolling of the terminal.
That is what the scroll lock key was made for.
A momentous occasion.
Then I found out that a while ago, I used the macro function of my keyboard to rebind the that key... to close the current terminal window. 😡7 -
Me: Visual Studio 2019 is acting weird. I should close it and re-open.
Me: *Clicks X in top right of instance window*
Dialog: Not enough memory to perform this operation.
=/8 -
Ok I have 2 more hours to work today. I bet I will get these 3 important things done.
*important email comes in*
*laptop runs out of batery*
*client finally calls back after 4 weeks*
*data structure has to be reorganized urgently due to new requirements*
After dealing with all of that, I close all windows in order to go home. The last window is the thing I wanted to do in the first place.1 -
My girlfriend always wanted to have kids while I don't want any, when she does eventually talk about having kids I'll make her this deal "I'll give you a kid if you can close this vim window with out googling how to do it"
It's fail proof9 -
My mother seems to disengage her brain when using a computer, so you must give instructions in exacting detail...
Me: Close that window.
Mom: Um, ok?
Me: ... Click the little red button at the top left...
MS Word: Save document? Yes / No
Mom: ... Now what?
Me: Well, do you want to save that?
Mom: Yes! ...
Me: ... so... click Yes...
... and I die a little more inside...5 -
Fucking genius firefox!
Somehow an ad created a new window with a popup that can't be closed. Thanks to firefox's single process, I had to close all my tabs.
Now after closing the firefox with task manager, when I open it again, it opens all the tabs that were closed, including that ad. HAHA, fucking awesome.5 -
The tech stack at my current gig is the worst shit I’ve ever dealt with...
I can’t fucking stand programs, especially browser based programs, to open new windows. New tab, okay sure, ideally I just want the current tab I’m on to update when I click on a link.
Ticketing system: Autotask
Fucking opens up with a crappy piss poor sorting method and no proper filtering for ticket views. Nope you have to go create a fucking dashboard to parse/filter the shit you want to see. So I either have to go create a metric-arse tonne of custom ticket views and switch between them or just use the default turdburger view. Add to that that when I click on a ticket, it opens another fucking window with the ticket information. If I want to do time entry, it just feels some primal need to open another fucking window!!! Then even if I mark the ticket complete it just minimizes the goddamn second ticket window. So my jankbox-supreme PC that my company provided gets to strugglepuff along trying to keep 10 million chrome windows open. Yeah, sure 6GB of ram is great for IT work, especially when using hot steaming piles of trashjuice software!
I have to manually close these windows regularly throughout the day or the system just shits the bed and halts.
RMM tool: Continuum
This fucker takes the goddamn soggy waffle award for being utterly fucking useless. Same problem with the windows as autotask except this special snowflake likes to open a login prompt as a full-fuck-mothering-new window when we need to open a LMI rescue session!!! I need to enter a username and a password. That’s it! I don’t need a full screen window to enter credentials! FUCK!!! Btw the LMI tools only work like 70% of the time and drag ass compared to literally every other remote support tool I’ve ever used. I’ve found that it’s sometimes just faster to walk someone through enabling RDP on their system then remoting in from another system where LMI didn’t decide to be fully suicidal and just kill itself.
Our fucking chief asshat and sergeant fucknuts mcdoogal can’t fucking setup anything so the antivirus software is pushed to all client systems but everything is just set to the default site settings. Absolutely zero care or thought or effort was put forth and these gorilla spunk drinking, rimjob jockey motherfuckers sell this as a managed AntiVirus.
We use a shitty password manager than no one besides I use because there is a fully unencrypted oneNote notebook that everyone uses because fuck security right? “Sometimes it’s just faster to have the passwords at the ready without having to log into the password manager.” Chief Asshat in my first week on the job.
Not to mention that windows server is unlicensed in almost every client environment, the domain admin password is same across multiple client sites, is the same password to log into firewalls, and office 365 environments!!!
I’ve brought up tons of ways to fix these problems, but they have their heads so far up their own asses getting high on undeserved smugness since “they have been in business for almost ten years”. Like, Whoop Dee MotherFucking Doo! You have only been lucky to skate by with this dumpster fire you call a software stack, you could probably fill 10 olympic sized swimming pools to the brim with the logarrhea that flows from your gullets not only to us but also to your customers, and you won’t implement anything that is good for you, your company, or your poor clients because you take ten minutes to try and understand something new.
I’m fucking livid because I’m stuck in a position where I can’t just quit and work on my business full time. I’m married and have a 6m old baby. Between both my wife and I working we barely make ends meet and there’s absolutely zero reason that I couldn’t be providing better service to customers without having to lie through my teeth to them and I could easily support my family and be about 264826290461% happier!
But because we make so little, I can’t scrap together enough money to get Terranimbus (my startup) bootstrapped. We have zero expendable/savable income each month and it’s killing my soul. It’s so fucking frustrating knowing that a little time and some capital is all that stands between a better life for my family and I and being able to provide a better overall service out there over these kinds of shady as fuck knob gobblers.5 -
Well, some time in the future, i will have to sit a computer science exam with C#. It can't be that bad, right?
Wrong.
To start off, Visual Studio 2013. Why the fuck someone would use this pile of garbage in 2018. I have no fucking clue why any semi-competent IT department would decide to skip TWO fucking releases of the software and decide, that it's okay to just roll with it. It's okay to not have any updates. It's okay to just no care at all.
I literally brought in my laptop with a VM installed since Visual Studio 2017 is really superior to the crap from 5 years ago just to do my coursework most lessons.
-------
Second issue, you know thoes desks where the monitor is literally under the desk and you get a small little window to see the monitor? Yeah, well I will have to take my proper exam in one of these all over the fucking room. Pic related.
Today we had a mini mock - - it went something like this:
- There was glare from the glsss on the desk because of the lights in the room and literally the monitor itself.
- The glass was beyond fucking pig filthy.
- There was neck pain from my back because i was constantly looking down and bending over the see the screen.
- There was eye strain because the document given to us was a tiny piece of paper with tiny writing and the monitor was far away and the paper was close i couldn't focus my eyes.
- Literally every desk was as bad as the next.
- I did fuck all work because i just couldn't focus because of the things above.
You can tell how great that felt.
If i was in a room with a man (or if it was a woman, let's just pretend she has balls), who was the creator of the room i just described, Hitler, my College's IT staff and other really bad people while having infinite ammo, i would continuously shoot the creator in the balls while not giving a shit about anything else.
Forever.
Until heat death.
Thanks for reading.
23 -
Racism is still a thing in Germany...
At 11 am, I parked my car in to the right parking lane. It didn't cross any line. A woman in her 50s had the door to my side open and still didn't decide to close it, when I was parking.
Anyways, I got ready to get out of the car. All of the sudden, she knocked on my door. I did open the window.
[Short break: S=She and M=Me]
*Dialogue starts here*
S: How dare you park here?! Over there *points to the next parking slots next to her car* is enough place for your car.
M: I am allowed to park here. Plus, I am not crossing your lane. Aside from that, your door was open. Close the door first (before you fucking yell at me, you bitch - I didn't say this tho.).
S *completely ignores what I just said and focuses on my first phrase*: Of course, you are allowed to park here. But you are also allowed to go back to Turkey! *goes back to her car*
M *completely shocked and thinks about what I have been doing wrong and how Turkey is even related to this parking situation*: FUCK OFF!
*notes her license plate*
*finally gets out of the car. locks it. walks slowly in front of her car, when she just wants to drive away from the parking slot just to annoy the shit out of her with a big ass grin in my face waving at her*36 -
Best part about the covid19 manufactured crisis?
Liquor stores deliver. Worst part about liquor stores delivering? Needing to use their shoddy websites.
I've been using a particular store (Total Wines) since they're cheaper than the rest and have better selection; it's quite literally a large warehouse made to look like a store.
Their website tries really hard to look professional, too, but it's just not. It took me two days to order, and not just from lack of time -- though from working 14 hour days, that's a factor.
Signing up was difficult. Your username is an email address, but you can't use comments because the server 500s, making the ajax call produce a wonderfully ambiguous error message. It also fades the page out like it's waiting on something, but that fade is on top of the error modal too. Similar error with the password field, though I don't remember how I triggered it.
Signing up also requires agreeing to subscribe to their newsletter. it's technically an opt-in, but not opting-in doesn't allow you to proceed. Same with opting-in to receiving a text notification when your order is ready for pickup -- you also opt-in to reciving SMS spam.
Another issue: After signing up, you start to navigate through the paginated product list. Every page change scrolls you to the exact middle of the next page. Not deliberatly; the UI loads first, and the browser gets as close as it can to your previous position -- which was below that as the pagination is at the bottom -- and then the products populate after. But regardless of why, there is no worse place to start because now you must scroll in both directions to view the products. If it stayed at the very bottom, it would at least mean you only need to scroll upwards to look at everything on the page. Minor, but increasingly irritating.
Also, they have like 198 pages of spirits alone because each size is unique entry. A 50ml, 350ml, 500ml, 750ml, 1000ml, and 1750ml bottle of e.g. Tito's vodka isn't one product, it's six. and they're sorted seemingly randomly. I think it's by available stock, looking back.
If you fancy a product, you can click on it for a detail page. Said detail page lists the various sizes in a dropdown, but they're not sorted correctly either, and changing sizes triggers a page reload, which leads to another problem:
if you navigate to more than a few pages within a 10 or so second window, the site accuses you of using browser automation. No captcha here, just a "click me for five seconds" button. However, it (usually) also triggers the check on every other tab you have open after its next nagivation.
That product page also randomly doesn't work. I haven't narrowed it down, but it will randomly decide to start failing, and won't stop failing for hours. It renders the page just fine, then immediately replaces it with a blank page. When it's failing, the only way to interact with the page is a perfectly-timed [esc], which can (and usually does) break all other page functionality, too. Absolutely great when you need to re-add everything from a stale copy of your signed-out cart living in another tab. More on that later. And don't forget to slow down to bypass the "browser automation" check, too!
Oh, and if you're using container tabs, make sure to open new tabs in the SAME container, as any request from the same IP without the login cookie will usually trigger that "browser automation" response, too.
The site also randomly signs you out, but allows you to continue amassing your cart. You'd think this is a good thing until you choose to sign in again... which empties your cart. It's like they don't want to make a sale at all.
The site also randomly forgets your name, replacing it with "null." My screen currently says "Hello, null". Hello, cruft!
It took me two days to order.
Mostly from lack of time, as i've been pulling 14 hour shifts lately trying to get everything done. but the sheer number of bugs certainly wasted most of what little time i had left. Now I definitely need a drink.
But maybe putting up with all of this is worthwhile because of their loyalty program? Apparently if you spend $500, you can take $5 off your next purchase! Yay! 1%! And your points expire! There are three levels; maybe it gets better. Level zero is for everyone; $0 requirement. There are also levels at $500 and $2500. That last one is seriously 5x more than the first paid level. and what does it earn you? A 'free' magazine subscription, 'free' classes (they're usually like $20-$50 iirc), and a 'free' grab bag (a $2.99 value!) twice per month. All for spending $2500. What a steal. It reminds me of Candy Crush's 3-star system where the first two stars are trivial, and the third is usually a difficult stretch goal. But here it's just thinly-veiled manipulation with no benefit.
I can tell they're employing some "smarketing" people with big ideas (read: stolen mistakes), but it's just such a fail.
The whole thing is a fail.8 -
Round up kids.
I have a story to tell. The story of a war I've lost. Many battles were fought and many hours were wasted.
This is the story of wasp in a computer lab.
Today, the weather was good. So your old pal, Nomi, decided to open the windows. And as usual, that's where it all started.
So Nomi sat down and worked for a few hours. Tweaking two different neural nets, adding to its dimensions and concatenating the living shit out of the data they were supposed to process. After, she tried testing and testing and testing. It was early afternoon at this point and she was hungry. She went to close the windows and go for lunch.... When she realized, that she's not alone in the room. A big ass wasp was sitting on one of the curtains.
Now, Nomi doesn't have a good relationship with bugs and flying shit. Wait, no, she doesn't have a good relationship with moving things in general. So she panicked. She begged the wasp to leave. The wasp sat on the curtain and smirked at her. So after a while, she left the windows wide open, turned off the lights, put her hoodie on and went for lunch.
(btw, at this point my hoodie smells of sweat, fried onion, steak, cigarette and shisha. Don't ask. It was a long two weeks)
When she came back, the wasp was nowhere to be seen. So she assumed that the wasp got tired and left. But oh, how wrong she was.
After few hours, she heard something. She assumed it was just a fly. Actually, she hoped it was a fly and not the return of the wasp. But all her hopes were in vein.
She heard a buzz. And all of a sudden, an angry wasp flew in her direction. She dodged the attack and got under the table. But the wasp was not letting this go. Nomi jumped out of the room and left the door open. The wasp hid itself. She waited and waited but no sign of wasp. So she ran back in the room, and opened the window and ran back outside. She waited. The wasp occasionally would fly from one hideout to another. The wasp was making herself comfortable. At one point Nomi got angry and threw a shoe at the wasp, but the wasp caught the shoe and threw it back at her while maniacally laughing at her.
So she gave in. This was enough for the day. She ran back in, closed the window, turned off the computer, took her bag, turned off the light, and closed the door. All in less than 15 seconds. She came outside panicked and distressed, and now she's on her way home hoping that by tomorrow the wasp is gonna be dead.
The wasp and the robots are sitting alone in the lab tonight. I hope when the robots uprising happens, the robots can forgive me for abandoning them powerlessly with a wasp. 😟22 -
Useless feature I've built?
Too many to mention. Here's #25.
Modified an existing "Are you sure..?" dialog pop-up (Yes/No buttons) to Yes/No/Cancel. Why? Managers claimed users were "accidentally" clicking 'Yes' when they should have clicked 'No' and causing all kinds of chaos, costing the company money, etc. Managers believed giving the user two chances instead of one would make it easier to avoid the problems they caused.
The meeting:
Me: "Users can click 'No', hit the 'Esc' key, or click the close 'X' button on the window, how will an extra button make it more foolproof?"
Mgr1: "It just will. Andy accidentally deleted inventory and when I asked him if an extra button would have saved them a days worth of re-counts, he said yes."
Mgr2: "Barb accidentally credited a customer $1,500. She promised me she clicked 'No', but the system credited the account anyway. An extra button would have saved us thousands of dollars!"
Me: "Um...these sound like training issues, not an extra button issue."
MyMgr: "PaperTrail, how hard is it to add an extra button?"
Dev1: "Oh yea, adding buttons is easy."
Dev2: "I can do it 5 minutes"
Dev3: "We'll save the company thousands and thousands of dollars!"
<lots of head-knodding and smiles>
MyMgr: "That settles it. PaperTrail, add the extra button!"
Users still screwed things up, but at least they couldn't blame it on not having an extra button.24 -
Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:
The IS department manager 'John' bought a drone (when they first started getting popular, paid over $400 for it), flew it around the office, which was kinda fun, then he took it outside and started peeking in (and recording video) various VPs offices.
Needless to say, that behavior wasn't popular because several/most have their back to the window and never saw the drone and the drone was close enough to see/record their monitors (which John did). No one was doing anything wrong (no porn, no secret company plans, etc), but they were rightfully upset.
Later that day he decided to find out how high he could go and because of the technology at the time, it lost signal or battery power, fell from the sky, and before he could gain control, it crashed (styrofoam wings shattered). Can't say I felt sorry for him.5 -
!rant !dev
True story. Some years ago I worked, for a network manufacturer in the support department. One of me jobs was to help end-customer (private people) over the phone, who could not get online.
One day a 60+ year old woman called the support line, because se could not get on the Internet. And because our name was on the router, she called our support.
A colleague of mine took the call, and we could quickly see by his expression the it was "One of those calls". The minutes went by and they had gotten no closer to a solution after 45 min.
That was when I herd my colleague say "Well from what you tell, all the settings here are fine. Can you please close all the windows, so we can look at other settings". My colleague the looked weird and said, "She just told me it takes some minutes to close all the windows, so please hang on.".
After 2 min time the woman came back to the phone and said "I have now closed all the windows in the house, except one ceiling window that only my husband can reach. Hope it doesn't matter".2 -
Dear developers who create an electron based app... Yes it's easy to make custom titlebars but please... Please please please give us the option to use the system default title bars... Looking at you itch!
(Also stop assuming everyone uses windows and use the minimise > maximise > close to the right of the window, not everyone does)8 -
I swear upon the gods of the internet! Any time I am trying to read an article/blog post/anything and the site puts a god damn pop-up form asking me to sign up for something, I leave the site. ESPECIALLY ON MOBILE WHEN YOU CANT CLOSE THE DAMN WINDOW WITHOUT GIVING UP YOUR INFO.
And every time a client asks me to do this I nicely explain how much people hate pop-ups, 99% of the time I've closed the window or tab before I even read what the box is asking for, I don't care.
If the user is trying to read something, then they are trying to read something, and they don't want to be bothered with your ridiculous attempts for information gathering so you can spam them later.10 -
So, i recently joined the community and must say im suprised by the lack of toxicity so probs to you people.
Anyway. I am almost finished with my internship as a Software enginieer(kind of). As my finshing presentation i made a script (mainly in Python with asciimatics(a great library btw)) wich is displayed in the Terminal (Linux Ubuntu) and as i know the kinds of people at my school i tryed to find any way they could crash it. (Already rebound the close window function from Alt + F4 to Alt+.)
Now im wondering if you; the nice people of Dev rant could suggest ways to make it safer or rather name ways you would attempt to shut it down. (i cant disable Keyboard input since that is needed to continue in the script.)
I wish you a nice day. and thanks in advance
Yours Humbly an aspiring Dev.
P.s.( i just really like to write formally. i think it sounds kind of cool.so dont you think im oldfashioned :D)13 -
When you close your browser full of tabs, only to see you missed a sepered browser window, which basically nullifies your tab history. :/3
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The feeling when you receive a screenshot of a window, and try to close the screenshot with the window close button.1
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Storytime!
I got a ticket near the end of the day, asking to install a printer on a computer. The branch in question was in a different time zone (I'm in US-Pacific [GMT-07] and the computer was in US-Eastern [GMT-04]). I figured I wouldn't worry about it; after all, I had other tickets to work on that were much higher priority.
The next day I come into work and immediately get a message from one of my East Coast coworkers, telling me that this branch is calling and asking how the printer is coming. I told him to tell them I would call them a bit later. I do a couple of easy jobs and then begrudgingly call the branch. I listen to the phone tree that they have (which requires two button presses instead of one in order to speak with someone) and finally get in contact with a person... only to have the call disconnect.
I call back and ask for the person who called in the ticket and then followed up, who had apparently gone to lunch. I informed the person that I was just going to install the printer and it would be good to go. This would be fine... up until she mentioned she needed scanning functionality.
Now I wasn't sure if the driver we have in AD is set up with the scan functionality, so I said okay, but that meant I would have to get the driver from the website. The connection to our branches are about 1Mbps, so even downloading Java updates (60-ish MB) take about 5-10 minutes on a good day. The file for this printer was about 700MB (thanks HP). So I went and did other stuff while that downloaded.
I come back after it finished and started the install process. Right away it asks to re-seat the USB cable. So I call the branch. The call disconnects. I call again. It disconnects. I call one more time, and finally get the person who called the ticket in. I instruct him to re-seat the cable. He does. The driver starts doing its thing. I tell him I'll call back if I run into any issues and we hang up.
The driver goes through the install process for about 20 minutes, stops at 99%, then fails. I want to restart the computer, just in case there's a conflict somewhere, but that would require calling the store again, so I put it off.
About an hour later I get a message from another East Coast coworker, telling me the branch is calling about the printer again. I was in the middle of another call and said I would call back later. I do. It disconnects. I call again, and get the person who called the ticket in again. I tell him I want to restart the computer, but wasn't sure if it was okay. He checks with the people using it, who says it's okay, so I reboot. I hang up.
Once the computer comes back up I start the install process again. It asks to re-seat the cable. Fuck. I don't want to call the store again, so I open notepad and say "Please take out the printer's USB connection from the back of the computer."
Three. Fucking. People. Saw it. They moved the window and one even tried to close it, but they didn't re-seat the cable. I opened another window, telling them to call me at my number. They didn't. I called them. Got disconnected. I called them again, finally got someone, told them to re-seat the printer cable again. They do, thank god.
I say thank you and hang up. Continue the installer. It stops at 99% again and fails. I reboot the computer; screw it, I'm just going to install the driver from Active Directory. Check Devices and Printers. It's installed successfully. Hallelujah!
I get the printer set up for the various programs they use and print a test page. I call them one last time; their phone system sounding like they were connected via an underwater line connected by tin cans. I get someone.
$me: Hi, I want to know if the printer has printed something.
$them (garbled): -et me shee... yesh, it -rint-d a *beezelborp*.
$me: Perfect, I'm going to close this ticket! Thanks, goodbye! *hangs up*
tl;dr - I hate printers -
Those corperate slow laptops which has preinstalled software on it. Especially the antivirus which decides to take up all memory to take a scan on 08:00 when you start up.
Im really close to throwing this piece if shit through the window...6 -
You know what sucks? Being forced by your teacher to use his crappy e-learning platform which isn't even close to final and therefore completely buggy. Oh you clicked in that compiler window? Nah now you can't click back in the editor window, better save and reload the page again. And thats only the beginning...5
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I saw that a co-worker had left their office email open on their machine, so I typed out a huge hate mail of the upper management and then announced resignation for the poor work culture that the company provided. Then I edited the email to be a bit more nice. I added some praise about the company - about having the opportunity to work in the company and for the amazing colleagues (and mentioned my own name) in the first paragraph. To close the email, I wrote :
"PS : This is what happens if you leave your machine open for the office to do as they please"
I first sent out a copy to myself (as proof) with the cover :
" Hey, check this out, I'm sending this out to everyone@company.com in a while. I want to let you know that none of this is directed at you. You've been an amazing colleague and mentor. You've been my inspiration from the start; from the time I joined the team. I'm honoured that I got to work with you. I hope we can remain friends as we are now, meet up once in a while outside work and discuss life. "
And then I put the actual email up in the compose window with the to field addressed to everyone@company.com. I didn't hit send.
Funnily, enough, this person never found out that it was me who actually typed out the whole email for another 1.5 months. They probably looked into their Sent folder later on when they saw the email that I sent to myself. They replied to it saying :
"Thank you for not sending out that email that day. I've been very very extra careful (I didn't understand the "very, very, extra" part) since that day"
I replied that it was only to prove a point and that I thought the point was well conveyed.
I had a good laugh that day. Since then, every time we crossed paths, we had that look in our eyes that met and only the 2 of us understood.1 -
That happiness after you are so close to open the closest window and throw the pc, but you manage to fix the problem.
FUCK YOU GRUB I WON!!!!!!!!!!!! SUCK IT!
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I'm a fan of Linux, and have used many distros (arch, ubuntu, debian, fedora, mint, centos, rhl) and many desktop environments (KDE, Gnome, Cinnamon, xfce, Enlightenment) before asking this question.
But every single one of these desktop environments always have felt slow to respond in some cases, where I click something and it doesn't open/close immediately, or i double click something but it fails to open or select something. basically I'm not confident my actions on the GUI will have guaranteed, quick responses within reasonable time. I've never ever had this issue with Microsoft OSes (keeping aside the many badly coded softwares which hang or crash). I'm not talking about specific softwares, this is just general usage of opening settings and using the file manager, window menus.
I'm pretty sure my hardware is not the issue. I've run everything on the same rig. And this has always kept me from fully committing myself to a Linux distro. But I can never be sure about display drivers, as they're not identical. But the issues in Linux has been noted by me for many years. So I doubt it's the drivers either.
Is there anybody who agrees with me and know why Linux is the way it is like that, or is this just me facing this annoyance?13 -
rant = Rant.STORY_TIME
<<<Story
This is still something funny me and my friends often remember.
There was once upon a time we were young and stupid, playing on the internet with fake credit card numbers, sometimes we had luck and the orders passed.
We were on the living room, checking who could put an order for a coffee machine, while another friend of mine was talking about the deep web and what he found there.
Suddenly, someone knocks really hard on the door... We went silent...
Me: "Who's there?"
Voice: Federal Police, open up!
Me: *shiiiit*
I went blank, close my laptop as fast as possible, I thought of throwing it away through the window. My friends panicked, I had my laptop upside down, opening the lid to remove the HDD.
One of my friends stood up and went to the door, looked through the eyehole.
Friend: *whispering* The eyehole's covered!
We quickly stood up and looked at each other, like we were acknowledging our wrong doing and getting ready to face the consequences.
I took a deep breath and put the key in the door to open it. Sudden heavy knock again. I jumped and yelled "I'm on it, wait a minute!".
Slowly I opened the door... And there they were, another two of my friends.
F1: hey...what, what happened? Why are you so scared.
They stepped in while we told them what we were doing and they laughed their asses off.
We were shit scared, and those two were laughing.
Story;
So, nowadays, I don't even think about doing that kind of stuff again and I'm hoping to make a Master's degree in security...or electronics, whatever happens first. -
Bug fixed! Commit, close ticket.
Ticket reopens. Dang.. let me test it. Still fixed, wtf? Send message to QA guy that opened it again.
"Read my comment." Comment has some entirely different yet slightly related bug.
Leap out window.1 -
Windows 10 updates. I see many posts about singular events that people have experienced, so I thought I'd try to sum up all the problems I have had.
Home computer, always on:
Is scheduled to update during 'inactive hours' but the options for that window are too narrow. So almost daily the 'required updates' overlay pops up WHILE I'M DOING STUFF and I have to say 'Ok' then close the update settings window that opens automatically so I can get on with what I'm doing.
Now, if I'm just browsing, writing or something like that, it's just really annoying.
But when I'm gaming and it causes the game to freeze up (because, you know, ubisoft and ea and such) and I lose my progress, that pisses me off.
When I'm hosting movie night with my friends and the movie gets interrupted, that pisses me off.
Even when I'm just trying to relax with a good show after a hard day and THAT gets interrupted, it really bugs me.
And then when there's a major update and I don't want to schedule it right away, they decide that I probably meant 'do it in an hour'. And then a message pops up every hour with only the option to postpone one more hour. What happened to all the options for scheduling it for several days in the future? Nope! Can't decide? We'll do it RIGHT NOW, NO TAKEBACKS, THAT'S FINAL!
I cannot fathom that they can't find a way to ACTUALLY do the 'inactive hours' thing.
And then there's the work computer. For the last two years, that has been a laptop that I shut down and take home every day. The common problem with that is that it always tells me it has to update when I want to shut down for the day because I have to go home. I can't leave the pc turned on in my bag, it would overheat. So since there is no option to shut down without updating anymore, I have had to rely on the fact that using the power button to shut down circumvents the update.
And if I don't remember to update at home, it's then going to waste my time the next morning at work.
Just give me the option to delay for a bit, then remind me NON-INTRUSIVELY so I can do it when I have the time.
And then there was the update that prevented the machine from booting and I had to waste TWO working days reinstalling EVERYTHING! And we were about 6-7 people hit by that update in our organization.
So yeah. Windows updates are a real fucking problem. Yes, I wan't critical fixes for security problems and other serious software flaws.
But the current policy of 'fuck you, we're doing this' is just not fucking acceptable in any way.3 -
that ankward moment when you generate a javascript infinite loop and you are not able to close or reload the window
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I might be able to release my first application tomorrow. At least the first version.
Nothing special, be amazed if it gets much attention.
In short;
You specify any running processes you wish to forcefully close, in my case, games.
So any time these games start running, it's force closed.
The app also monitors the active window, of it's and IDE, like Visual Studio, it will add credit towards allowing those blocked processes to run.
Currently you get 1 credit for every minute you code.
I plan to refine it some more. And yes I know there's ways around it but, it was fun to make10 -
Who is that genius at Microsoft thought about that if adding a new email to outlook on Android and credentials are wrong, CLOSE THE WINDOW AND GO BACK TO SETTINGS!!
Error message says wrong username/password then let me fucking fix them not go back and enter everything from scratch (outgoing, incoming servers, username, password)
Fuck this shit -_- -
Okay, maybe I'm unlucky, but I find macOS to be extremely buggy and inconsistent across the board compared to Windows.
The "it just works" slogan hasn't been true in my case.
Like, there's always some dumb issue hindering me.
For example, I can't seem to resize a window by its edge on my second screen in macOS. It just doesn't work.
Of course, Windows isn't perfect, but it works without a hitch in my case.
Finally, the memory swapping issues that lead to lag.
On a typical day, I have two instances of IntelliJ running, Android Studio or XCode, and two Edge + Mozilla, and Docker. 32GB should be able to handle this smoothly. This works fine on my 32GB Windows workstation.
On my 32GB M2 MacBook Pro however, I have to constantly close some programs because of lag.
Not to mention, memory fills up really quickly. I essentially turn on the MacBook and 18 GB are in use. WTF!9 -
Me: *Clicks red 'X'
macOS: "Do you want to close the window?" "Keep window open" "Close Window"
Me: *Clicks "Close Window"
macOS: "Are you sure you want to close the window? YOU MAY LOSE DATA!"
Me: "YES!! Close the goddamn window!"
macOS: "Window failed to close, click 'Close Window' or try again later."
Me: *Presses and holds power button to shut down.
*"Computer" restarts...
macOS: "You shut down your computer because of a problem. Would you like to close this window.
Me: *Clicks 'Close Window'
macOS: "Do you want to close the window?" "Keep window open" "Close Window"
Macintosh: It's like a computer... But not really... Well, maybe... NAAAAHHHH!!3 -
Friend: Hey I am rebasing my commits and got stuck into a weird window and i was not able to come out of it?
Me: It is vi LMAO. Just press `:wq`
Friend: Wait I'm pressing the same but still nothing happened, it is displaying on my screen?
... After 200 messages...
Me: Just close the computer and I am going to Himalayas. Peace6 -
I hate Intellij so much ...
* it has the weirdest bugs
* like window focus not working properly,
weird comment/uncomment short (jumps one line down wtf)
* It is slow as hell
* doesn't compile properly (or doesn't give a shit telling me about its actual status).
* Not even the build log is working properly. Why can I hide WARNs but no INFOs?? WTF
* Panels are all over the place and keep coming back, regardless how often I close them ....
ARG ARG ARG, *smashing face on the keyboard*
and the worst ... even though I have the F***ING ULTIMATE version, it constantly nags me about BUYING THE F***NG ULTIMATE VERSION AAAAAARG12 -
Roof is leaking... Due to rainy stormy weather here, I have now 3 buckets in my flat for catching the water.
Next thing that broke was the faucet in the kitchen... Whoever installed the kitchen (inherited from previous tenant) was a fricking fuck nugget. Not only are most important parts like the stove unbalanced (cooking is very fun...) - but most things were wrongly installed.
The rubber band under the faucet was a few mm larger than the faucet itself... Stretched out as someone really tightened the screws... Too tight. Friction tore the rubber band on one side. Note that the faucet is one of the large, pompous ones which weigh a fuckton. So the fucking faucet now - as the rubber band tore - turned into a sprinkler as the faucet moves due to water pressure.
Ok. Faucet out, new faucet in. Shouldn't be that hard.
Wait. Wtf?
Turns out they didn't use a milling head... The hole is a cone, top larger - then getting smaller.
Ok. No problem.
Let's do some drill action.
Uhm. Why is the place to the window wet... Oh. Great. Another leak.
*some mopping action*
Back to the kitchen. Realizing I didn't fully close the valve for water -.
Kitchen cabinet, next mopping action.
Water with saw dust is pretty ugly combination -.-
Aka: My relaxing Saturday became a full blown """Fuck you with an anchor""" day instead. Thanks universe. Love you hon. Please, next time put at least some lube on the anchor, entry is quite painful.13 -
Does anyone else get triggered when you use the python socket .recv() and the server does not return anything so the program just stays there indefinitely? For me, I can't even Ctrl+C it so I have to close the entire window. It's especially annoying when I start a server in the interpreter (quite a bit of lines) and I have to rewrite it afterwards.7
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If you move the mouse-cursor to the top-right-most corner on Windows 10, a Win32 program and a UWP app when maximised, highlight and respond to the red-close button
An application made with Windows App SDK, does not. //tested with SDKv1.4, not overriding windows-made title bar
Probably coz of their window-margins with Msft's new found love of rounded corners.
Never thought Windows would be this blatantly horrible. Everything past 2020s Windows 10 has gone downhill. I wonder which top-guy left that lead to this downfall.7 -
Did you know, any time you copy text on Windows 10, windows saves the url of the page you copied it from?
Don't know where it is saved, or how long it is cached, but the more you know.
Steps to replicate:
Go into your browser, copy any text from any site. Close the window.
Open one note. Paste text. Theres the url.
I think clipboard saves the url when you copy text from a browser, dunno. but its interesting.9 -
I hate that when developing on Windows I need like four different terminals. CMD, MINGW64/Cygwin/MSYS2, PowerShell. Each one has different functionality:
CMD - basic Windows commands
MINGW64 - emulates Linux terminal with frequent Linux commands and great support for Git
Powershell - access Windows COM, .NET etc.
Now there are solutions that attempt to solve this like Cmder (which is just more user-friendly ConEmu). These are console emulators which wrap all these in one window (with multiple tabs). But they are slow as hell. I have to wait like 10 seconds each time I start a terminal in Cmder, because the emulators need to run some huge startup scripts. But I just need to run one command from this one freaking folder!
Eventually I end up having like 30 different terminal windows open, each one different in functionality and each time I need to do something I must think about which terminal I need and in which folder. Furthermore I have to think about whether to run the terminal as administrator, but I usually forget that, so I have to close the terminal and reopen as admin. Why don't you just add something like su or sudo, Microsoft?
9 -
I started writing a rant and then, when I was almost ready, accidentally clicked somewhere outside the text window, not even close to the exit button, and my rant disappeared into the void without a warning. Well thank you very much! :(9
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MS Teams with multiple work accounts account swap flow:
1. Try to close the company-bound login modal 10x while being fast enough to also close the main Teams window.
2. Realize it's not gonna work, so login with the account you don't want to be on.
3. Have to type your phone pincode then accept the MS Authenticator login, and retype your pin code.
4. Finally logged in just to log back out and get the generic account choice modal so repeat step 2 & 3 with the correct account.1 -
p r i n t e r s
I was about to print a bigass document. Wanted to save paper, and saw my printer had a two side mode. I try it out. A few pages print, then the driver says PAUSED - RELOAD PAPER. This is normal, as double sided printing is not automatic. Underneath, there is a message:
[Printing - Manual Duplex: Please reinsert pap...]
I try to resize the window to read the message.
THE MOTHERFUCKING WINDOW WAS NOT RESIZEABLE!!!
are these products not fucking tested???
I find a guide saying the paper should be reinserted with no flips, then the "continue" button should be pressed.
The button was not in the driver UI, or on the printer. Further research showed that you are supposed to:
OPEN THE TONER CHANGE DOOR AND CLOSE IT AGAIN TO CONTINUE A PRINT
what fuCKING designer thought this shit through!?#@?#$!
printers
fuckem1 -
Who here works at Apple in the Finder group. OMG, would you please fix shit? Finder has been such a bag of insects for years.
1. windows don't right-size to any reasonable minimum in icon view when there is one row of icons
2. text color of files and folder names no longer adjust to accommodate background color changes. Setting the window background color USED TO result in white text of the files and folders displayed in that window. Now it is Black-On-Black oh so readable 🙄
3. stop re-locating 0,0 in the god damn folder icon view. Finder items in grid view cannot, by themselves, get disorganized off the grid.
4. Stop moving the god damn folder/disk window locations between open and close
5. stop resizing the god damn folder/disk windows between open and close.
6. stop destroying the contents of clipping files. I get so tired of losing data to mac-unix programmers who think they know what the f they are doing at the file level. Resource forks were rocket science you just could not understand and you have really rolled the clock back on macOS file system to Stone Age 1980s tech.11 -
That moment that you are browsing devRant and instead of clicking the previous page button, you close a window on your 2nd screen to the left.
1 -
When I created my first app on RaspberryPi. It was an app that watches window sensors and shows the information about windows status (close or open) and shows the information on web application. Тhis was my first time when I faced with embedded development with Python.
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So I got a new project idea , an app that takes your image and fits it in a mac window like a border .
Basically when I make a new website or app and I want to post screenshots of it , just the plain screenshot of the app looks bland but if I have a nice aesthetic ✨ mac OS window around it with rounder corners and stuff , it would look very cool . I bet everybody here has seen something like this once or twice. Is there an app that does this already ? takes an image from the user and puts a window around it , with the minimize ,maximize and close buttons and let's the user download the final image . Not necessarily a mac window with there could be option for different types of windows . Even VS code repo on Github has a mac window around it lol . So I would like to make an app that makes this whole process easier instead of requiring you to edit images of your app (in case u don't have windows or a mac for screenshot)
What tools (tech stack )would I require to make a web app for this purpose ?
5 -
!rant vim
As i've seen a lot of rants about can't close vim type so I searched and found this in book does it work or not .
Try these: What to Type What it does
:q Quit the current window (or editor if you are out of windows) if there are no unsaved changes.
:q! Quit the current window even if there are unsaved changes.
:qa Quit all windows unless there are unsaved changes.
:qa! Quit all windows even if there are unsaved changes.
:wq Save changes and quit the current window.
ZZ Save changes and quit current window
If you can't get out of vim, you should check to be sure the caps lock is OFF, and press the escape button. If it feels good, press it a couple of times. If it beeps, you know that you've escaped enough. Then these exit commands should work. -
What's it like to be an ITSupport in a public healthcare facility where average employee age is 60y:
Doc: Hello. I can't make this thing work
IT: Hi. What thing? Please describe the problem
Doc: I have _this_ webpge [red.: ITSD knows what page] open but it's not loading anything. It just shows a spinning wheel
IT: I see. Can you hit F5?
Doc: err.. a what?
IT: A key on the keyboard. F5. It's at the top row of your keyboard, slightly left from the middle
Doc: <pause>
Doc: Found it. Okay, I clicked it. Nothing's changed
IT: Maybe the focus wasn't on the browser.. Anyway, can you close the window?
Doc: ...okay...
Doc: <rumble rumble>
Doc: <catching its breath> Okay, I closed it. But I won't have it closed the whole day, it's 27ºC inside.
IT: <facepalm>.... -
Mum: you can't figure out how to close the latch on that window, what sort an engineer are you?!
Me:😒1 -
One of those annoying moments: when you close the tab accidentally because you pressed ctrl+w in the current tab, but the active window was the other browser in your second monitor so instead you closed the wrong one... 😑... luckily there's "open last closed tab".. but still is annoying3
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Make an application that, whenever the left mouse button was clicked, it would open a dialog asking if the user really wants to close the top window if activated. Every time they would click it would say "Are you sure you want to close Microsoft Word?", in Word, for example.
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..that time when you close the wrong window, because the computer *still* hasnt learnt what window on what monitor you were looking at, when you hit that shortcut
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I should close this window.
But.. this article is short and moderately amusing.
Ok, now i should close this window.
But.. look at those pictures.
Ok, we are at the end of the article. I should close now.
But.. look at those comments.
Hmm, cool comments, close now.
But.. look at that interesting next article.
Hmm..
***Newsletter popup***
closes window. -
Need help/advise: 💻 Anyone's experience with Linux on MacBooks - I've had a lot of tried, including Arch, Ubuntu, Cent and probably more I can't remember.
🔴The issue is always the Desktop manager / UI / Window manager: either it's too 👹 ugly, or too heavy(read Ubuntu default).
Want to find the ultimate compromise with reasonable support for hardware, yet with high usability.
Things like multi-touch gestures are a bonus🔥(I know there's extra bins I can install for that)
I don't mind something more to configure, but would rather stick with apt-get and similar rather than having to manually build everything 😉
As you probably understood by now - I need something close to MacOS yet Linux based 😎8 -
It always blows my mind how a silly idea / hunch tries settling down in your head very close to your regular bedtime and before you realise you can hear the birds chirping and sunshine hitting your window pane.
It’s unhealthy and should not be encouraged whatsoever.
But I guess this is the sort of involvement and craziness that separates us from rest of the professional world.2
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