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Search - "dag"
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"hey there is this bug, could you fix it?"
me: sure whats the bug?
*explains the bug*
me:... thats.... thats your feature request from last week8 -
Knock.
Knock.
Knock knock.
Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.
Who's there?
Fibonacci.5 -
1 minute of Thread.sleep() for Tum, the best cat ever. Rest in peace, your memory will live on in my devrant avatar.17
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So im colorblind and i just recently found out that most IDEs use color syntax and it sounds like such a good idea.16
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Was originally hired for 3 months.
Just finished the project 2 weeks ago, after 1.5 years.
I fucking hate data science now.8 -
Dear people of Subway, just because i am using cmd, it doesnt mean i am
"Hacking your wifi network" and asking me to stop is rather unneccessary25 -
My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"
Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"8 -
B: you are not even a real developer
Me: ??
B: you are using windows
Me:
Me: what the fucking fuck did you just fucking say you little fuck? Ill have you know i have written at least 4 lines of code, commented once and have a stackoverlfow reputation of -7. I have completed every beginner level udemy course on applied brainfuck mathematics and have worked as a distributed data analyst with excel 03. You are nothing to me, every piece of code i write runs on exactly 3 billion devices and i have an unsuccessful facebook meme page. Bitch.5 -
I can finally have the big white cat because we all know that whites are superi....
I mean thanks for 20k++, ill make sure to be twice as annoying as before.22 -
Just got an email that i dodnt get a job.
But guys... Your 'selection process' took a month. A literal month. I already got an other job 2 weeks ago.4 -
It's the biggest satisfaction to know that Wix means wank in German!
"why not do it yourself" just adds to it.6 -
Oh no microsoft is gonna buy github!
Just like they bought xamarin and turned it from a buggy piece of shit into something borderline useful?
Just like they funded canonical so ubuntu could become a distro what any person can use as easily as windows because they had money to actually hire people?
Just like they bought mojang and invested billions in an education platform?
Oh boy whatever will we do...15 -
me, sitting @ college, soldering together a charging cable
someone: oh wow you can do this stuff? i thought you were a computer scientist, not an engineer
me:...
me: yeah i need an engineering degree to wrap duct tape around cables7 -
>me on stackoverflow
>a nice question
>i provide a 3 line code with explanation
>comment: 'doesnt work, throws exception'
>i run the code and provide a screenshot that it works
>'doesnt work for me'
>19 line code gets accepted
10/10, would answer again5 -
"Java is slow"
If that is the only reason you can come up with when i ask you why dou you think java is bad, im going to assume youre either a fucking shit programmer or live in the 90s.46 -
In a nutshell, i severely underestimated myself, applied to a bunch of places and now they all want to hire me. Oh well.11
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Me: cool, i organized all my exams to be the most effective, if i study now, i can relax for a few weeks before i have to move.
Interesting side project: hi3 -
New years eve plans:
Partying with friends ✖
Getting wasted ✖
Shooting fireworks ✖
Reading godot documentation ✔7 -
open telegram
'hey guys i have a cool idea for a project'
"yeah thats a neat idea lets do it"
we get drunk on the first meeting and completely forget about the project5 -
Real university assignment:
"Write an AI to win this 2player game, restrictions: you cannot save to a file and every turn is a new run of the program."
And then people ask me why do i keep saying university is useless.27 -
Please learn the fucking difference between a text editor and an IDE. I dont give a shit aboyt your super duper complex vim package manager supreme deluxe edition ITS STILL A DAMN TEXT EDITOR YOU FUCK.15
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All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.2
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So there is this thing @ the office that everyone has to bake 50 pancakes once.
Its 2 am, i just got done, i cant cook to save my life.
Guess what.
Its 49.8 -
Oh hey i should go to sleep early and work out in the morning.
Or i could implement those new features for my library ive been thinking about.
Or i could polish up some of my older sites.
....or i could stay up till 3am, reading subtly gay korean comics.4 -
can you put this on the right side when someone scrolls?
*sends a gif of a caterpillar running at 3 fps with sparkles everywhere*5 -
"Your every second word is 'fuck', you really should watch out for that."
Fucking give me a fucking client who doesnt fucking call me at 6am fucking saturday and ill fucking stop swearing.4 -
I will disregard the fact that our target platform is windows, so sure, newly hired intern, go ahead and use linux if you want, it doesnt really matter.
After that he accomplished 1 day's work in a week because he was googling how to set up linux environments
CHOOSE THE TOOL FOR THE FUCKING JOB YOU DIMWIT9 -
me: yo, im kinda low on cash right now, i should save some money and not do any iot projects this month
also me: yo, look at those nfc chips, i got an idea1 -
When you are working on a feature and someone else is working on the same thing and you commit at the same time and now you have to resolve conflicts but both versions work2
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Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.4
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Ooh this is good.
At my first job, i was hired as a c++ developer. The task seemed easy enough, it was a research and the previous developer died, leaving behind a lot of documentation and some legacy fortran code. Now you might not know, but fortran can be really easily converted to c, and then refactored to c++.
Fine, time to read the docs. The research was on pollen levels, cant really tell more. Mostly advanced maths. I dug through 500+ pages of algebra just to realize, theres no way this would ever work. Okay dont panic, im a data analyst, i can handle this.
Lets take a look at the fortran code, maybe that makes more sense. Turns out it had nothing to do with the task. It looped through some external data i couldnt find anywhere and thats it. Yay.
So i exported everything we had to a csv file, wrote a java program to apply linefit with linear regression and filter out the bad records. After that i spent 2 days in a hot server room, hoping that the old intel xeon wouldnt break down from sending java outputs directly to haskell, but it held on its own.1 -
if you ever feel bad or useless about your ability as a programmer, just remember that this is the kinda code i write when im tired13
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Me, going on a vacation
"Fuck yeah, finally a break, beach, grill, nice. Im not bringing my laptop, theres no way im touching any code."
Me, 10 minutes after i got on the bus
"Oh, i figured out whys that one thing not working, let me just get my lapt...shit"6 -
Lets assume my name is Levi Secondname (half of it is correct)
at my last workplace there was a guy with the same name, in the same office, except he was an ios dev, so when i ordered food i always put 'Android Levi' as the name, otherwise it would get mixed up3 -
you might think that windows updates are painful but this piece of shit has been like this for an hour JUST LET ME FUCKING DEPLOY12
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Oh boy, I think I need a new pair of pants.
GitLab (!Github) have improved their ci/CD pipelines to allow you to chain jobs 🥳🤤
https://about.gitlab.com/2019/08/...2 -
Dude from old job who treated me like shit messaged me to implement 2 new features. I quit like half a year ago now. Ok i guess.6
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full stack web development in 2017: mvvm model, api for backend, parsing on frontend
me: <?php echo "<div>hello".$name."</div>" ?>9 -
Insomnia: yeah, nice cors header
Postman: neat cors header mate
Fetch in browser: where the FUCK is the cors header you retard6 -
Okay so
Client asks for a bunch of data what can be easily calculated with excel. I think to myself, yeah, ill not fuck around adding numbers 1by1, ill just use excel.
Client wants a program, says he likes having a program do stuff. Mind you, this isnt an universal program at all, it just has to work for this specific input file.
Me: packages the original excel file into a jar and makes it unpackage when run.
Client: is happy
Me: ??? -
Me, whenever i work with something other than java: "Wow, this could be done so much easier with java"17
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"Server deployment is automated from git, so dont merge things into the master branch without permission"
Oh ok
>i create new branch
>push unfinished code because i gotta hurry
>server breaks
Well golly gee seems like you did a shit job at automating7 -
DevRant makes me really proud how well developers can act together as a group. Makes me think what we could accomplish if we would take all the world's developers and programmers to one place and make our own country. Our currency will be devCoin. World domination follows shortly afterwards11
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That moment when you're finally getting your user registration and login system up and running!
As a web dev student I feel like I have accomplished something :)10 -
Sitting at home, looking at my facebook friends. Im noticing a trend that all the people getting diplomas are the ones who dont even have a github account.7
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I think im sick. Not because my whole body hurts, my nose is running and i cant even move, but because i just had the idea that i should unit test my personal project.4
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Had my pure PHP web app rejected on a market platform because I didn't use a framework..
BITCH IT WORKS PERFECTLY WITHOUT A FUCKING FRAMEWORK, IF YOU WOULD HAVE TESTED IT YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT!22 -
If some yampy bloke ask me bout the origin of my username again imma shove a can of ice cold monster™ energy drink up em ass (: Is it hard to look it up?? (Dont look it up tho, it porn)
So it a funky ass breakbeat/chiptune kinda album. Sod off.16 -
Psa: i dont give a shit if you use php but dont you fucking dare echo your shit out to the dom or i will fucking gut you you degenerate16
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We were having a conversation with a bunch of friends and somehow i came up with this
Ps, the data is valid12 -
Hey, i took a look at your code and heres how you could improve your performance!
"No thanks lol it works this way too"
Okay you fucking idiot, thats not how you do normal distribution
"Why are you so mean"1 -
Its been a few hours, and i was busy with meetings but
THANK Y'ALL FOR 10K ++
I remember wk20something, when i joined devrant. I was just starting a job as a data analyst, and the wk at that time spoke to me on a personal level, so i wrote a quick rant and didnt give it much thought. The next day i opened devrant and had like 100++s and a bunch of comments. Since then ive met a lot of awesome people here and im happy i clicked the install button back then. Thanks cfox and brogus for the opportunity, love ya.
Already got a longboard as a 10k-day gift :^)2 -
Started part time job at a company, had to log my time on timesheets. Said fuck this and now the whole company logs their hours on a custom web based time logging system which I built.5
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Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.5
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I was talking with a guy who is making an android app for his thesis but hes "shitdamn awful in java". I offered to help because im so fucking nice.
"oh but i dont have facebook, is it a problem?"
Nah sure i dont use facebook anyways, got telegram?
"No"
Riot? Irc?
"Nope"
Then what do you use???
"Skype"
?!!?!??!??!!???!??!7 -
Aye so i got a new job, and its android. I thought "yeah sure, ive been a java dev my whole life, it will be easy".
And it is easy.
But its like a fleshed out java, with a trillion built in classes and xml (seroiusly, fuck xml), and also the studio eats away my ram.5 -
Nobody:
Very stupid people with no github projects who are probably stuck at making wordpress sites: haha ai is just if statements7 -
Just happened to stumble across an indian job offer. They want a fulltime php dev for 20k indian moneys a month. Thats not even $300. Are they... Are they serious or is this just a bad company? Because thats less then what i made with a part time frontend job when i was just a beginner. Is this a trend in india to underpay people by this much?11
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Well im slowly getting there, but i still dont understand why does my wife want me to make her cam...8
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So there is this programming competition i regularly enter. I dont give a shit about the competition part, its just fun to make something in a limited time. This year, i was kinda hyped that i threw together a modern stack, with Java Spark and VueJS, that would be really cool to use.
Today we got the requirements.
Php and jquery.
Well fuck me for living in 2017 apparently.1 -
Hey im a fullstack DEVELOPER, not a fullstack DESIGNER, so dont fucking ask a colorblind person to 'just throw a simple design together, it shouldnt take more than 10 minutes'3
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I really wish i was a good designer. Id love to put together attractive frontends with cool and unique ideas.
I also wish i wasnt colorblind.3 -
hey buddy mate pal friend bro nacho
IF YOU FINISH A TASK NOT ASSIGNED TO YOU THEN FUCKING ASSIGN IT TO YOURSELF SO WE DONT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO DO WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DONE6 -
Within 20 minutes of posting a question on stack overflow it was down voted - with no explanation. Fucking hate that site4
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I just had another shitty idea, yall know cards against humanity. I wanna make a hearthstone-yugioh-CAH -esque game where the cards are all dev-related. Like say [c++] {onSummon: 'shuffle 2 pointer cards into your deck'}. Ill probs start a collab here, dunno, if ya steal my idea then dont be a bitch about it and say so in the comments.3
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Xamarin.forms. True multiplatform* by Microsoft.
*you just have to make sure not to use any of the platform specific features, or write 3 completely different codes10 -
Friend: 'im really anxious, i need a job this summer and i dont know if i can find one with my stack'
Me:'why, whats your stack?'
Friend:'php, mysql, javascript'
Me:'...DUDE'6 -
Me, 2 months ago: "This stack is such an overhead and unneccesarily complicated. The app could be made in like a week with jsp and jquery."
Other guy, 2 months ago: "No, we use Spring and angular2, and these 7 test/automation tools"
Other guy now: "We are nowhere, we havent even completed sprint1"
Me:3 -
Everytime i see someone listing a shitload of languages, i safely assume that they speak around 2-3 of them fluently. I did some c++ and can write a site in php but they are nowhere near my java knowledge, so i only list them as something i played around with. There is just no way you are fluent in c++, java and javascript because they take half a lifetime to master individually7
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"best [distro/ide/laptop/buttplug] for web development?"
So you are.... You are basically asking whats the best for editing text files?10 -
*reverts a layout file to the one in git*
*gradle fails, no components found, electricity goes off, office catches fire, the world ends*4 -
Secretly installed Automate app on my friend's Android phone to mess with him. (For those who don't know, with Automate you can automate anything on an Android device).
Made a 'flow' that would read his incoming sms's, and send an email to me with his exact location if I sent him an SMS saying 'where are you?'.
Was funny to mess with him and tell him his exact location even though we were miles apart.
Cleared it up for him a while later but it made me feel like #hackerman8 -
I just got a bugreport for an ages old release of a software which was assumed finished. Problem is, i couldnt find the source anywhere.
"hey, could you send me the file so i can check the bug?"
*sends jar file*
"yay im saved"
thanks java, for being easily disassembled 👌😍1 -
Last night I had a panic attack and woke up in cold sweats because in the dream I had I was constantly using the wrong variables in the wrong places...
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Bind learning c++ chapter 3
Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.9 -
I was tricky this time and sent a separate email for the client and my boss about the new release.
Client response: "Its very good, runs flawlessly, could you check x if you have the time? It gives errors simetimes"
Boss response: "[...] urgent fix get working on it right now [...]"
Seems like my boss has been the fucking piece of shit all this time :)1 -
watched first two episodes of mr. robot and it seems pretty good so far. does it go like other hacker shows/movies or does it stay good?10
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about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞
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Wanted to do a 1 hour coding challenge. Thought "hey why not use js this time". 3 hours later, my blood pressure is skyrocketing and i am really bothered by js threading.2
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Few days ago i niticed one of my (site) accounts was deleted for inactivity. I thought fuck it, ion use that site, lets have fun. I wrote an email to get it restored:
"Sorry i got ass cancer and it took dr lil pump 2 years to cure me and couldnt use the site from the hospital"
Today, i got an email that i got my account back.4 -
I pressed "update" on windows 10 and its been runn..
Wait nevermind, it finished in about 5 minutes on my old dual core laptop with a 5400rpm hard drive.3 -
Sent a cv to a company because facebook threw their ad at my face and i said why not. They emailed me that they would call me today. I dont have a phone. Its not fucking 2007. Call me on matrix or telegram or even skype ffs.19
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[wk200]
Ordered a set of copic markers, they should be here tomorrow. At least this quarantine crap gives me time to draw again after 5 years.4 -
Just realized, that after a few months of running my crypto trading algo, i have around 0.1 bitcoin. Started by mining monero in like february, and just traded back and forth afterwards.6
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Merry 2018 in advance.
If it aint a secret, comment w/ your new years resolution so other lazy fucks can get motivated.
Mine: a 3d game (godot), releasing my data science java libraries, building some kind of robot8 -
Hey, my team is attending a hackathon kind of thing tonight. Can you recommend us some interesting php+js stacks?19
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Ive been sitting here, trying to do VERY basic shit in angular (hiding elements and api calls), and after downloading 5 additional node modules that break my "build" (its not a fucking build, this is an interpreted language), im confident to say, fuck angular.4
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Bind learning c++ chapter 2
Did the guy who made this language know how assembly works or did he just guess along the way?3 -
Can anyone tell me why is it good to use some crap language that transpiles to javascript? Yes i hate js too but 90% of my time using reason/ts/elm is just
>ddg how to do x in y
>no answer
>Js.unsafe.eval "js code"
Like???? None of them is a 100% complete wrapper???6 -
The past few days ive been looking into angular.
Its a bloated piece of crap. It makes your page twice the fucking size and adds tons of unneccessary code with shit syntax. Whatever you do in angular can be done in a normal language, even fucking vanilla javascript. Stop fucking making unneccessary frameworks for js developers who are too lazy to learn a proper language.3 -
I got an interview on monday but i completely forgot i even applied. They said its java AND c#, so i can guarantee a 50% score i guess.
Can someone explain what the fuck is a namespace while we r at it?5 -
I should be studying but i started working on my last idea (read the rant), will probs post it as a collab once i got something that actually works3
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Aint a rant, but pulsar player has the best fucking implementation of the material design ive ever seen, everything is perfectly flat and still alive aaah4
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[corona wk]
Not at all, but i bought an electric scooter so i dont have to take public transport.
Also instead of "bless you" we now say "corona".1 -
Imma be real with youse, i havent been posting shit cause i have a great job with great teammates and great management. Like it a rant that i cant rant but thats a good thig i guess. But ion wanna see devrant community goin down the gutter cause old members r leavin so imma stick around and post stupid shit in the comments as usual. So youse can stop bothering me bout bein inactive hmmm3
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just got a linkedin msg
"Hello, im from a headhunter company, looking for..."
THEY ARENT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE2 -
[worst hypothetical dev job]
You know how theres a dedicated person in porn whos job is blowing the actors so they are hard? That, but with writing all the boilerplate code and nothing else.1 -
It doesnt matter that i turned auto-update off, if devrant gets a new version i WILL hear about it. We all will hear about it.
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All my respect goes to sysadmins, ive been trying to hack together a cronjob for tha past 2 hours and its still not working.4
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Moving to a new office this week. The only chinese restaurant nearby is one of those where you get 5 times the amount of rice compared to the meat. Fuck.5
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swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?1 -
Hey buddy pal mate, yeah, i get it, you a good frontend dude but if your page lags on my phone, im gonna just close it and never open it again, so dont you fucking use every possible overhead framework known to man.
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The feeling when your pc runs out of usb ports because of all the different android devices hooked up to it.1
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Dear rust,
I swear im not going to modify that string, i fucking swear on my life pinky promise, just plEASE LET ME USE IT WITHOUT HAVING TO CLONE.
Sincerely, a functional programmer6 -
Just wrote an angry email about the unrealistic demands towards my team. Got a call an hour later from [product owner] where he had the most worried voice i ever heard because we are the only data scientists in the research. I expected an email reply in 2 weeks, seems like we are somewhat important here.2
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Me: *pushes up code that should stop bad thing from happening*
Bad thing: *doesnt happen for a few hours*
Is..is it good??? Did i fix it????? Or does the thing just randomly not happen right now??????? We will never know.6 -
me: fuck yeah i love java
java: JFormattedTextField tf = ((JSpinner.DefaultEditor) columns.getEditor).getTextField();
me: ...
me: punish me more mommy3 -
Im slowly going from emails like "looking for developers" to "hi, when can you start" and i dont know if i should be happy or worried.
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Jmonkey 3 is so damn fast wow, why dont they use this wonder instead of unity?
*angry js fanboys in the distance*
Oh yeah thats why1 -
I dont really have a story here, i just want to thank every college teacher/assistant teacher who has real world experience and decides to pass it on to students instead of picking from the billions of job offerings.3
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After catching up on the mcu movies, i finna watch infinity war, but honestly, am i the only one who thinks they need to start working on other things than the origin story of every damn being in the unuverse?5
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had an interview at a place that went good at the technical part but I didn't do great at their 'abstract' questions. the guys interviewing were complete stone faced as well, no personality, pretty sure I wouldn't have liked working there anyways. a few years later and they are still looking for people. the recruiter rings up and I said I wouldn't want to re-interview unless the process had changed. he guaranteed me it had. so I went back in and it was exactly the same. exactly the same technical questions, followed by more abstract questions. different guys but same no-personalities. never going back
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So i left my job as an android dev earlier (nothing big, just didnt wanna juggle school and work) and as the year started i noticed that somehow i ended up working as an android dev again but this time in c#. There's no escape.9
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Oh i cant wait to fail my exam in 6 hours because i forgot that i even have one and when i tried to study yesterday i realized that 90% of the papers is just fucking equations we have to memorize. Yay for quality education with most of the curriculum being fucking useless. I want to either quit this shithole or kill myself but both would make my mom upset.7
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The past few months i got a bunch of emails and calls from my previous "boss" (hes the head of the research), that he would be grateful if i helped them out. I got a few friends still working on that piece of shit project so i said yeah, i can help.
Now this whole thing is a research involving most of the big universities, lots of math phds, and is kinda secret. They couldnt find anyone to sketch up a few stupid algorithms for them so i did just that.
Yesterday i got the specifications for the task. Its the core functioning algo, the one i made from fucking discrete integer data, it took me 3 fucking months to correct their mistakes, and now they want me to create 2 similar patterns for 2 completely different...things. Yeeeah no.3 -
@RazorSh4rk -> @BindView for personal security reasons, also now u can quickly set behavior to your replies :^)6
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I made a speedcoding video and its really fun to see just how fast can you make yourself code something that works.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Here, ill probably make more later.9 -
Right now what i want to do is just quit everything, move somewhere else, get a job and never fucking look back. Im sick of all these projects college dumps on me, the idiots im surronded with, my job, people who think im interested in their fucking research. I just want a 8 to 5 job and after 5 im fucking done and nobody calls me about how long will the next release take for projects i dont give a shit about.
In other news i just started my thesis yay.1 -
how to php, an infographic by Bind (that me)
0) assert your goal, in this example let it be sending an email from the server
1) search for implemented methods
2) all you can find is either outdated or not helping at all
3) think of solution in any other language (eg c# or node)
4) implement 3)
5) iterate until you have something that works but you have no idea why
6) after 1 week, realize that there is a built in method, but its called userData_registration_sEnder0(adress, header, egg, pinNumbe_r, message)
7) cry5 -
The sorting button on devRant's feed page is just Gilfoyle's tattoo twice, once upside down like Dinesh says.3
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Right now i want to put together a system to automatically water/warm/whatever my chilli peppers, but on the long run i want to embed some microcontrollers into my body.4
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My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!3
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Tldr: what are some tips you wish you got when you started programming?
Hey so. I got added to a facebook group with absolute beginners to programming. Been tryna answer their questions but its getting overwhelming and i thought id make a definitive guide to beginners or something like that. I have a buncha topics and tips but the more the better, so please if you got some advice you wish you got x years ago, post it down here.5 -
I wanted to rant like 10 times today but was on a tight schedule (yes its fucking sunday), so here is everything:
*********
Fuck you, i dont give a shit that you need to present data tomorrow, its weekend, you cant just fucking call me to get things done asap. Im working from the code of a dead guy do you know how fucking hard it is to ask a dead person whats their code do?
*********
I really wish devrant had some kinda longboard/skateboard in the profile pic
*********
Im still not a fucking designer i can make like does-not-make-you-barf tier designs, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING CODE JESUS
*********
whys the new rick n morty episode not out yet wtf
*********
Yo i love linux but set the fucking privileges right you dipshit, i cant exrcute my damn code on your crappy ass 2008 xeon server fuck you3 -
Why the fuck does android studio freeze on every 7th deploy. I just want a world where jetbrains can actually create useful IDEs please.4
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jenkins tests passing but travis failing. now travis passing but jenkins failing, aargh!
more beer needed... -
Yes, i can surely calculate the distribution of datasets when they look like
9 x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 1
That will be SO accurate2 -
me: what a nice day
someone: hey, wanna join our project? its a university thing
me: yeah sure
someone: oh, you r the PM
me: AAAAA -
A friend of me said that intel Pentium and i3 is the same, that all laptops with intel`s logo have the same processor, you just have to view the info. of yours...2
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FUUUUUCK had one of those fucking days again where I just want to cram a keyboard down somebody's throat.
Son of a fuck how is it possible to be so irritated!? -
when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to) -
in the hospital with surgery and our deployment goes wrong, so glad I work with really good people!3
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The thing I really wish for is devrant posts not to be visible when i look up things on ddg, because i wanna rant about stuff but they are so exact that it would take 2 nanoseconds to find my user here.4
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i really love using linux with terminal only up to the point when i need to check a command and realize that i havent even installed a browser on my pi4
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1) clicking on the wk141 tag wouldnt show the wk140 rants
2) big titty mafia mommy gf
3) when i buy something i always have the exact price on my bank account -
2 week "conference" "meeting" in greece. Thought would also be a nice chance for a vacation. Except the cell network is absolute horseshit here, who the fuck uses 3g anymore??1
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This is !dev as fuck but does anyone know something like a book recommendation engine? There are a ton for movies and anime, but couldnt find a good one for books. The best would be one where i input some books and fonds me similar ones.
Alternatively, im looking for dark fantasy books where magic is negligible and potentially has assassins in it, if anyone knows good ones.10 -
Currently rewriting a python library because the author clearly doesnt understand what crossplatform means, and this language is fucking terrible.2
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Everyones like "python is pseudocode" but honestly i dont see it, after sql, python is the least intuitive syntax i ever worked with, and i frequently use haskell so4
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Anybody entering ludum dare on the 29th? I wanna try my luck at making a game, never succeeded before :')3
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How come that im absolute shit when it comes to designing a webpage but i can make really fucking cool looking android apps, when they are essentially the same thing1
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Between android studio and Unity, which one si better to make a adventure text game? Why? (i'm learning, dont kill me please)8
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!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?2 -
Me: okay lets test this website i made for my iot projects
Apache2: nah nope i aint loading shell stuff
Me: hm seems like a php bug, lets debug locally
Me:
Me: fucking1 -
!dev
>Be my friend
>Buy a tdi
>Upshift at 1300rpm
>Get up to speed in like a minute
Ffs the turbo never even turned on what the fuck.1 -
I kind of want to write a blog post about how i slowly stopped using proprietary software but i dont actually want to start a blog just for this.2
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The customer told us that we have had a good momentum lately and that we need to keep it so that we can finish on time. What makes me frustrated is that what he perceives as "momentum" actually is increasing technical debt and overtime work...2
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Yo, i have a course where i have to build an android app, and we can make what the fuckever we want. Can you give me some interesting APIs, that are publicly available? It doesnt have to make sense, everything is better than using the anidb api, and thats the only thing that comes to mind.2
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I cant really contribute much to this wk because im mostly doing dev stuff in my free time.
But league and, well, strategy games in general taught me a lot about micromanaging stuff and thinking ahead. My advice is, if you wanna get better at most mental tasks, go download lol or grab a copy of cities or eu4 and play for half an hour every day.9 -
Ah yes i also love when you have so much shit to do for college where you are supposed to be studying developer stuff, that you havent written a single line of code in the past week because you dont have time.1
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There is a job fair coming up next week and while i dont really want to find a new job, i thought this would be a good excuse to update my cv a bit.
My question is, do you have any templates/frameworks/anything you usually use for stuff like this? I always throw together some bootstrap page but i want to learn something new.1 -
If you're always too busy doing the wrong things the wrong way, you will never have time time to do things right
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In an effort to learn any development I spent 3 days setting up a LAMP server. Now that I got working I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have a personal server or ideas on what to do with one?10
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Work has set us a challenge to build a rock/paper/scissors/dynamite/waterbomb api. We have the spec for what json is expected incoming and outgoing. We are allowed to implement any way we want and with any language we want. We are considering using Clojure but we have no experience with it, hence we will hopefully be learning as we go. Would you recommend using a framework like Pedestal, Hoplon, Luminus, or just use Leiningren or something else?
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!rant
I'm dreaming of a web language that is as close to the English language as possible.
Imagine:
<html>
nav bar with 5 links
slider with 3 images that runs automatically
Section with 3 images next to each other
Paragraph with first word in red
Footer with menu and sign up form
</html>
This would be the shit!6 -
I had been working as an IT-consultant, for some year. Where I often had to educate about APM products, and a lot of them was over skype to outsourced IT departments in Asia.
I could use a hole dag teaching them about the product, and how to use specific part of them. Even though I asked them if they understood everything I have said. I never got any questions or had to immerse anything.
But almost every single time after, I got a ton of email asking about everything I said. Why just why, would you just sit, smile and nod. If you did not understand anything. So I had to use days, going over the same presentation over and over again, to each and every participant.
Now I am so happy I gave the company the finger, and became a full-time developer instead.1 -
i feel like all the automated things, supposed to make development easier, just severely slow everything down3
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I had a problem visualizing giant job/schedule dependencies trees a few years ago and basically wrote a program to convert the dependencies so it could be read in by a JS graph program that actually did the work. The output was a Gantt chart but really messed up, overlapping arrows, not very readable.
Today someone asked me for my app and but in a better format/visualization.
I so I was thinking how do I do this... Figure out which nodes are leaves, how to combine visually.
Programmatically you just link all the Nodes together. So I was thinking like how u need to use BFS and Mark when each more is traverse and on its first traversal, add it to a Map<Depth,List<Node>> then print each level, etc.
But not so straight forward.... But finally realized that I'm not trying to draw a Tree (or a tree where the rootams are actually in the middle and the top n bottom are leaves)... But actually a Graph.... A DAG....
SO FINALLY I googled and found GraphViz...
https://graphviz.gitlab.io/gallery/
And in the gallery I opened some pictures and printed at the bottom was like 1996...
And I'm now wondering "how the fuck did they do this?" Calculate where all the vertices should be placed so they can be linked with lines and and not look like a big mess...I guess like a yarnball3 -
I'm starting to look at how to get devices to send data to an endpoint for storage and analysis. I'm looking at AWS iot stuff like core and green grass but then I'm thinking that a REST API could also do the job. I don't need to connect devices to each other (in first iteration). Dont think I need any edge stuff either. Anybody have any experience with this?3
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In client terms, a “3rd party” is akin to Angelina Jolie. Despite the promise that you’ll be able to have an enlightening conversation over a nice meal and hopefully hook up afterwards ... sorry, it ain’t happenin’. You’re just gonna have to fantasize about it while you take care of business yourself.
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Feature request: please allow the app to work in landscape and rotate. I can't get to the hamburger menu in bottom right due to broken screen3
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Neither one of them really *get* what I do, but mom likes to tell me his much she hates whatever program she uses at work as if I control the dev timeline.
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About the one ranting about people who don't know how to use Google:
that kind of people is my family, and, my sister ASK TO GOOGLE, really, she write all the homework of her school to google.
THATS why they dont find answers -
What's a good inexpensive android phone for development. Something 14 year olds could use without breaking6
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2020 goal
Shid and fard
Also some form of a biohack that makes sens in a day to day life, looking at the new spider man movie glasses rn1