That moment when you are on terminal, you highlight text and press Ctrl+C, only to realize you have terminated a running job that was 90% complete.

Hehe right on point....glad I managed to take a screenshot :P

Save all the troubles 😄

Me: so glad it's Friday!
Coworker: it's Wednesday...
Me: FUUUUCCKK. This is bullshit

When it's been 4seconds since you posted a question on Stack Overflow and no one has answered it yet.

Fuck off with your shit ass semicolon jokes. You searched for semicolon for 4days? Fucking retard with a sack of balls instead of eyes can understand that he's missing a semicolon in matter of seconds. It's going to be 2018 soon. Get a fucking IDE that says that you are missing a fucking semicolon. The error literally fucking says "; expected at the end of expression". Ugh...? I wonder what that means... Maybe something is wrong with my operating system or my PC. Fuck off with that shit. Try debugging some systems that have 2files with 15k lines in each of them with 200fields and all of them strings both with empty default constructors. Semicolons... My ass..

JS map, filter, reduce...

Even though I'm a web developer I work in a very small IT department, which includes just me and my colleague.

Yesterday we got a pretty usual request. Someone forgot the password to an excel file. We already started a brute force attack, but we had some fun going through the worst passwords we ever stubbled over in our carrier.

He was like:"Maybe it's just his name?"

Me: "Oooh or maybe it's just the brand and 123?"

We laughed a lot. Not really considering we could crack this "important" file.

But it really worked out. The password was the brand of the business unit and "2017".

I've sent everthing back to the user, telling him exactly how we cracked it... His answer was:"Oh yeah! I knew it was something easy, so me and x could remember it easily!"

...

Why do you forgive easy passwords anyway? If I can crack it within 5 minutes... Everyone can! ...

And if you do it to "remember it easily"? Why the fuck don't you remember it?

So a car hit me while I was riding the bike back from work and I fractured my collarbone. And I have to wear a sling on my left arm 24/7 for 4 weeks now.

But that's not the worst part.

Coding with one hand is.

Criteria for selecting beta testers at my company:

Fuck you java for forcing me to catch an exception which will never occur -.-

*Deletes system32*
Omg why it's not working anymore? Holy shit windows suck. I didn't even do anything and it stopped working. Fucking useless OS.
sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
Oh it's understandable it's not working anymore, I fucked it up myself.

Anyone else get a little freaked out when someone tells you a website works BEST on IE?

Guy I just met: so what do you do?

Me: I'm a developer

Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)

Me: so what do you do there?

Guy: sales

Me: oh...

Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.

"Dude, your joke about eclipse IDE is so original and funny!".

I'm freelancing and there was a guy who needed help with JavaFX. He gave me code only to his view class so I don't steal the rest... It was around 5k lines and it was full of compilation errors because of missing classes. While checking the code I realised something is really wrong with his model classes. So I asked maybe he could send me this one model class that was suspicious. So he did and it was around 10k lines long and had around 200 fields... ALL OF THEM FUCKING STRINGS except 3. You know what the rest of 3 were? 2 Lists of strings and a boolean... It was his "main" model class, he was using it for everything. It had setters for all fields and empty default constructor, so he would just instantiate the object and would set the fields that he wanted to use. Need new functionality? Just add 5more String fields and set them!

Trying to exit vim for the first time..

Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug

What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.

I got my job because I've been myself. As soon as I laughed with the interviewers I knew I got it.

They choose you for a interview out of all the other CVs because they hope you know your stuff. Proof it! And most important - show your character. Don't be a blank paper! Make fun with them. Or at least leave some kind of positiv impression.

The funny part:
I applied for jobs in Austria while doing my Bachelor degree in the UK. Over Skype they had no idea I was wearing sweatpants.

"Never touch a running system". I can't believe how many times I've seen this advice here. How the fuck are you supposes to upgrade, improve stuff? This is why stuff like WannaCry happens.

Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"

Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"

Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"

...

Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?

He's just keeping his lungs safe 😌

Now this is creative answer for JS keywords 😀

Algo magic.

Naming variables and functions.

Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods

What the user says and what they mean are rarely the same thing.

So first of all.. Fuck perl.. Actually, that's all I have to say

Well i was between jobs at the time, looking for something, anything to fill in the black hole being created in my wallet.

I applied online though this company’s website and within 20 minutes was on a phone interview setting up a face to face, this was Monday afternoon.

I went in on the Wednesday morning with the manager, no cv, no resume, no examples of work, we talked, did a couple of brain teaser questions and Friday morning I had the job 😂

I have never put so little effort into getting a job before but it was all a sham, the workload and requirements this job constantly sets out to kill me with are godly.

3 years later I’m still alive ( somehow ), and no blood has been shed.... yet.

Programming is an ever rewarding habit/skill to have.

It's 1:00( 1 am) here now...I wanted to get some coding done since 20:00(8 pm for the weird people ;P)
Got distracted by Dev rant all the time -.- and didn't write a single line of code...fml

Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.

After an hour long discussion via call with someone and after over a year of working in web3. I can safely say the entire web3 is actually a sham. Im too tired and exhausted from scams and frauds to explain why. It is just a bunch of overhyped artificially inflated bullshit to lure you into the ponzi scheme. I am almost 100% sure with proof how this is all a lie. Web3 is equivalent to government and political corruption - just a bunch of EXTREMELY WEALTHY people ripping poor and middle class off by defrauding them through crypto and nfts to make the rich richer. Its truly disgusting. There is no way in HELL that you can work in this space and expect to succeed if you are not already wealthy. People apparently spend between $10,000 up to $500,000 on a single project for marketing. They spend it so easily as if they earn that sum of money back by tomorrow. This is truly sickening. The reason why marketing costs so much is because it manipulates naive and newbies, lures them into the web3 world by creating an illusion of get rich quick schemes "hey buy this jpg for $2000 and you'll be able to sell it for $20,000 in a week!" Truly truly sickening. Web3 isnt even a wild west. Web3 is a fucking dystopian void where these fucktards are like animals fighting each other who's gonna defraud a bigger chunk of thousands and millions of dollars from each other. Literal fucking shithole. I am so disappointed. I thought web3 technology was useful. Perhaps it is but people's greed has molded this technology into crime and frauds. Which is what it has become

!rant

The AH-MAZ-ING feeling you get when you write 200 lines of code without compiling and everything just works as planned!!!

YAY!

Is it just me or should devrant have codeblock syntax?

Arch, bleeding edge, something something.

Boss at the start of a new project: "We could hire an intern to gatter some data in an excel list... You can easily implement that in the application later - right? So can you get us a excel list to fill out? "

No... Just no...

You tell me what you wanna see and how you wanna interact with the application!

In the process we will figure out which data is necessary, I will build some tables in the database for that data and then, !!! not a second sooner !!! , I'll be able to give you an suitable excel list, which includes a complete list of columns for the necessary data in a form I can work with it.

It's not my job to know what data a application needs to make YOUR JOB easier! I'm not a magician! I just love programming stuff!

Finally! I'll be able to send dick pics with depth! Thank you iPhone X!

Programmers Bike

Spent hours troubleshooting an internal app that had zero logging today. It would just terminate, no exceptions, no feedback to the debugger, NOTHING.

Turned out to be the damn corporate virus scanner blocking "malicious" behaviour. Good thing my desk is so heavy or I woulda flipped it...

Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.

So working on the cutting edge of 3d scanning (think project tango) i feel like my boss and his client are trying to sell a sham.
The technology is amazing but very limited. They are trying to sell magic. The PoC barrely works properly by their standards, and the one they are trying to sell to saw a fluke in behaviour that made it appear as if the PoC worked like how they are trying to sell it.

I hear them brooding over this plan to just sell that without any real plans to make this project work. There is no way they can make it work eithout compromises.

I do not want to be part of this ._.

My job. Working in a small IT department. Web programming most of the day and being able to help people with their phones, software, internet connection, and so on...

The only thing I sometimes wished for were some other devs in my company that would understand me and my problems and with whom I could discuss new technologies.

But now I got devrant. I'll be fine from now on.

Coders can relate.

Masturbation

Hello world

Thoughts on Apple making their own processors for Macs. Ready, go!

When systems throttles your bandwidth during load tests and doesn't tell you, and you waste an afternoon investigating

Firefox quantum is so fast... As fast as chromium/chrome was a few years ago...

Had my dev job described as a "computer, desk job" in a condescending tone yesterday by a guy trying to convince me to join his pyramid scheme....
// TODO: come up with awesome rant about this so I can look badass

It's done. Agile has taken over my life. The other day I looked outside and thought, "As a user, I can stand on my lawn without my feet disappearing." And that's how I decided to mow my lawn.

Opening a million tabs on Chrome, inwardly saying, 'I'll get back to you later' after briefly reading the first few paragraphs

Sometimes I really wonder about the elites supporting the woke culture, BLM movement, to the point saying "All lives matter" they go nuts is rather sinister. ie push the needle too far beyond the cringyness and use reverse psychology mechanism to bring maximum hatred as possible to the opposing group to the point of creating wars and conflict

There is a saying that goes "Only a crisis - actual or perceived - produces real change." So could be that to bring back the war economy.

I mean history is filled with such tactics on a grand scale: Nero, Hitler, Neocons such as strauses, Wolfowitz (lookup wolfowitz leaked doctrine), drumsfied, nuland leading the Iraq war (it did bring people together for a while before they realize it was a sham). And now same thing with China and Russia.

It makes no sense otherwise for the elitists to support it.

I really do love my job but after 2 liters of green tea and one aspirin I'm still tired and my headache is coming back
...
This can't be a healthy relationship...

I'm currently trying out Apache Cordova. Feels like playing minesweeper for the first time.

But as always a debugger rushes to rescue me:

Ripple :: Environment Warming Up (Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.)

Yes, I'm gonna make me a cup of tea now.

So some guys at my brother's college made a sports live score app, which charges 1$ for getting score. He decompiles it, and what we see is bewildering, it is not obfuscated and the link to the json values are hardcoded in the app and the whole login process is just a sham. Seriously, WTF, were the guys thinking!

buying a car is such an exhausting and depressing experience. i feel like being less of a man and somewhat blind right now.

I, a 24 year old guy, have never driven a car. afaik, we were poor, my city's public infrastructure is very good and cheap, and my family majorly never needed it.

6 years ago, i got my first 2 wheeler. i still didn't needed it but dad did, and so i learnt it a bit, was somewhat comfortable driving it on my own, gave a driving test, failed, nd forgot about it ( coz again, still not needed much). to this day this bit is true about me.

at that time my father had bought a few scooters before, so he had some experience, and we ended up buying a new one. currently that fella sits outside our home and my father uses it for supplies.

coming to 2023, i was/am thinking of buying a car. why? coz (1) car trips while sitting in the backseat have been super fun (2) people with cars tend to reach anywhere independently, and help others easily (3) my few friends have one and they are super smug about it and (4) i am starting a wfo job which requires 2 days of wfo and is 60km away from home (although train route with 3 interchanges is less time taking)

but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WHEN YOU *THINK* ABOUT BUYING A CAR!?

1. buy first or learn to drive first or get a driving license first?
getting a learner's permit is like filling a form; driving schools require no documents but money, and car sellers also do not want any complicated documents. so first step is easy for all.
HOWEVER, driving schools teach the very basics and are controlling your car for 90 % of the time. you can't learn without having your own car, but at the same time you can't buy new car just to *learn*, you will end up denting it.

2. the confusion around how to buy a car?
there are so many fucking parameters.

money being tha major 1 : old cars are coming from $800-$12000 new cars start at $8000 . my current budget is aroud 3-4k as I want to learn on it first with an expected usage of <1000 km per month

brand : there are literally 1000+ models whose base varients start at 8-9k and whose used version is available in my range. i have no idea how to choose.

year : in our country, a petrol car's registration expires in 15 years. cars from 2009 to 2012 are coming in my range but they are gonna expire in 1-4 year . not sure if its a deal breaker, as i plan to buy a new car later, but people are warning me about usage.

km driven : not 1 person is there who i talked to and told me to trust the kms on odometer. most of the cars i saw show 30-60,000kms driven but i am expecting them to be 5-7x more

cng/petrol : cng is cheaper, while petrol is better for engine life, from what i heard. I was inclined towards cng, but everyone i discussed adviced against this as those cars tend to have been driven for very long due to mileage efficiency.

engine power, cc, power steering, body... there are so many stuff that neither i know about and nor am i considering, which makes me more sad and scared of these deals. i have never bought anything without a proper research.

overall its the first time when i am feeling so much dependent on others and being an inefficient and inexperienced adult . my family once bought a used car 10 years ago, which was a total sham and got us to spend so much on it that we had to sell it for scrap in 3 months. It was a painful and nightmarish experience. i don't want that.

Fuck karens
They are so fucking annoying.
They are idiotic motherfucking idiots
They don't fucking deserve to fucking exist
Fuck 'em

My colleague is actually on vacation... But nevertheless he is kind of working from home...

He is forwarding me emails that I think he wants me to answer / take care about just to realize he already did everything...
People constantly come to me with problems they just discussed with him and think that I know about it.
No I don't!

Am I the only person not calling or emailing my colleague? He is on vacation! God damnit...
I hate humans...

When random algorithm can make better jokes than you...

I met @miau in England at University, through the only course we shared, Games for the Internet. I really wanted to be her friend because I thought she was pretty cool.

@miau looks incredibly confident. She has humor, imagination and is a really talented programmer.

She, on the other hand, did not want to have anything to do with other German-speaking students to improve her English skills and learn as much about England as possible.

Fortunately, I can be very stubborn. I helped her with her programming tasks whenever she let me and told her what our professor values. A few tests and beers later we were friends.

What are the thoughts of privacy conscious people about quantum computers? As far as I understand current TLS version encryption method is vulnerable to quantum computers, thus if your ISP or other agencies store all your traffic data right now, they'll be able to decrypt it after gaining access to quantum computers.

One way to secure your privacy would be to use your own VPN that uses encryption method that is quantum-resistant, but again the VPN would be using TLS to connect to the Internet.

I have never been this serious with my life as a whole as I have since I started learning computer programming. I struggled to read one book a year (I mean non programming book like self improvement books e.t.c). Now I have finished two books in a little over a month and started reading a third book this month all while still studying programming. I started out with python and was honestly terrified of Java because of the semicolons, curly braces, parenthesis in front of if/else if/else statements but one day I decided to take a peek into a few Java programming books and found one "Learn Java the Easy Way" by Bryson Payne and it changed my life, quite literally. I read more now, I look forward to getting out of bed and any day I don't read, I just don't feel right. I need to read something and learn at least one new thing a day. If I feel awful at night, I just remind myself of the one new thing I learnt that day and that puts a smile on my face.

Side note, I am self-taught and started studying programming last year around November/December. Spent about two months on python and in January or February, I started Java. Been on Java since. Almost done with the Java book and looking forward to reading a more advanced book when I'm done.

The best part about working on Someone else's UI bug fixes is that you get to look like a hero when you fix the bugs and make all their work look like a sham - asshole 101

I think I'm a good teacher, learner when it comes to Front-end development. I've been active on Stackoverflow, but this platform to help someone seems more decent (here you don't need to curse someone's code to help him/her) 😀

3ds Max Python API Documentation.

No function has a single word explaining what it does.

The Documentation seems like it is completely auto generated and while writing the API they forgot to add Docstrings....

how the fuck can I download fucking retard shit of doctl digital ocean on fking windows , i keep getting this retard shit fucking fuck just keep it simple u fuck shits. why do i need to fking copy lines of fuck to power she ll that fking isn't working fuck off

New-Item -ItemType Directory $env:ProgramFiles\doctl\
Move-Item -Path ~\doctl-1.70.0-windows-amd64\doctl.exe -Destination $env:ProgramFiles\doctl\
[Environment]::SetEnvironmentVariable(
"Path",
[Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("Path",
[EnvironmentVariableTarget]::Machine) + ";$env:ProgramFiles\doctl\",
[EnvironmentVariableTarget]::Machine)
$env:Path = [System.Environment]::GetEnvironmentVariable("Path","Machine")

I'm halfway through season 3 of Halt and Catch Fire and I believe Cameron is my most hated movie character ever. That fcking manipulative useless piece of shit. Just fuck urself. Fcking garbage disposal wouldn't be able to dispose of ur bitch ass. I'm not sure if I can finish the season but it feels like she can't get any worse, wouldn't be surprised tho.

Have you ever hit Ballmers Peak, only to fly past it but still keep coding? Sometimes it's an adventure looking at the code the next day. Three steps forward, one step back I say!

Have you ever developed something then destroy it because it creeps you out?

Was the devRant algorithm updated recently? I keep getting the same rants over and over. I don't think I've been on devRant that much lately to see all rants.

Hey ... Is it possible to figure out the clients path (f.e. C:\Users\...) to a file he uploaded to a website on the server side?

My boss thinks it could be done and wants me to programm it. But I think we'd need a zero day vulnerability in a specific (and probably very old) browser to do something like that... That would be a huge security issue...
Wouldn't it?

What do you think?

Starting my first dev job next week (except for freelance work) and I'm crazy nervous that I'm going to make some huge mistake and look really stupid. Did anyone else have these fears before their first dev job and, if so, how'd you stay at least a little confident?

Ugh, fuck the SSRS web service. Spent all week trying to consume the service with PowerShell, doesn't make it any easier when there are undocumented behaviours. TypeName property has to be Type, for instance, when creating a search condition, TOTALLY contrary to the documentation.

Want to change the data source for a report you uploaded? Gl;hf! Back to it next week, think I'm close to having a working deployment script...so close.

So I have spent the entire morning trying to fix null values in the database, because they keep fucking up my code.

I hate the fucking person who made the database at the place I work, dude has not heard of a thing called NOT NULL!!!

Can someone help me I want to enjoy anime again but I can’t bring myself to watch it anymore and when I do finally put it on my passion for anime is back but I can’t bring myself to put it on I know it’s a bit crazy but can someone please help me?

I feel google's move to cater ML and AI resource to everyone for free is a complete sham. I believe it's a very shrewd move to promote TensorFlow and google cloud. What do you think !??

For those of you who DO use PHP, regardless of whether you like it or not, have you ever used something like PEAR? And what are your thoughts?
I'm writing a fairly basic internal web app for our PMs and I'm looking for something similar to npm to save me some time/effort. I should also mention that my supervisor insists it be in PHP...

!rant

How do you find a list of your favourited rants on the Android app? I can't for the life of me find it.

Every Monday when I go to devRant it's filled with new weekly posts. Not this week though.

Using normal text editor's like notepad vs IDE's like eclipse and android studio is the same as driving manual cars vs automatic cars.

Most people say its quite difficult but if they just start doing it and stick to it for long enough, it will become second nature to them.