Don't know if it was already posted. Best way to add 2 numbers so far

If you feel useless, remember, Word has a dark theme

Me 5 years ago : "Guys we are gonna have a perf..."

CEO : "Not now, we need to deliver that functionality asap"

Me 3 years ago : "Guys, performances/scalibiluity will hit us like a trucK'

CEO : "Not nowem a new functionality needs to be done ASAP"

Me 1 year ago : "We are gonna be hit by a tank. We won't even understand what happens"

CEO : "I'm sure we can manage"

2 Days ago : Plateform quasiment down, response time in MIONUTES instead of milliseconds, database on fire.

CEO : "WHAT THE FUCK !!! GO FIXC I ASAP WE CANNOT HAVE THAT SHIT HAPPEN".

This is a brief summaru of working in a startup.

We have an API which returns 600 MB of JSON.

Because client "Wants to see everything first and then apply filters, just like Excel".

FML
Edit and ofc thier laptops with core i3 and 4GB of ram can't even process that.

My mother.

She explained to me what “algorithm“ is. I was 14. Instant love for the domain. In 2 days, I knew exactly what I want to do with my life

FrontEnd developper :

Hello here is the STATIC page you asked. Only takes 300 MB of frameworks to make it work.

Are these people on crack or something ?

Yesterday,
I was a bit drunk.
But I wanted to improve security of the company. So, I went in Azure and activated “Security defaults” which forces MFA for all users in the company. (Because RH always forget to enable MFA for new employees, and I actually care about security)
Then I went in office 365 management and instead of resetting MFA for all users (Forcing everyone to redo MFA setup), I (by mistake) clicked on reset all passwords.
I tested my own account it was fine and went to sleep.
Got a call from CEO at 7am, all 30 employees cannot login in, cannot work.
What a shit show I made…
I have a call with CEO in about 2 hours, I don’t even know how to justify myself…
So children: don’t activate company wide options while drunk. Ever.

What did we buy ?
Ryzen 9 and Radeon 6800 XT
What are we playing ?
Open TDD and factorio.

Yep, Can confirm, no lags.

Ok. Who's car is that ? And what is it doing 650km from New York ?

Me : Sending company wide email.
5 seconds later,
Me : "Oh new email"
Me : From myself :(

Appretnly for 5 devs + 1QA we need now :

A project manager
A scrum master
A VP of engeneering
Another person I don't remember title.

yep 2023 will be "productive"

Interesting.

So someone on Linkedin team pissed off someone on Bing team.

Hiring junior devs is a game of Russian roulette.

You can get some one who is smart and loves coding. In this case stack, limitations etc don’t matter and experience will be great for junior and the rest of the team

Or it will be a lazy person who watched 5 videos and think to be better than everyone else. 95% of juniors are these fuckers. Takes about 1 week to find out and fire… which starts the 3 months recruiting loop again.

Me : Who wrote that monstrosity of code ? I’m going to kill someone!
Git blame !
Me : Oh never mind, it was me 4 yeas ago.

Let's start 2023 !

WHO THE FUCK imagined that having language like YAML is a good idea ??

Fuck you and your spaces. No editor produce any decent errors messages except "Your spaces are wrong".

When you edit an Azure debops pipeline, it's just 5 min ti do thing, 35 minuites to figure ou where to add/remove spaces.

NO, I WILL NOT read 25 pages of documentation to add a single step into pipeline.

Fuck YAML !

Me : "hey front end dev, here is an API returing a list of objects, put them in a table"

*Some hours later

Front end : 'Done !"

Me :" Where are the totals?"

front end : 'Api doesn't give me totals"

me : "Calculate them. Just do a sum"

front end : 'I don't know how".

Yeah, "front end" apprently means only html css.... FML

I’m fucking done….
I don’t even know what to tell.
I’m a CTO in a startu. We have pretty good traction, my salary is about average senior dev salary (plus 10%).
I’m good financially.
But I have no more pleasure in work. Like at all.
“This API call performance is bad”
Yeah I know, maybe you shpuldn’t try to call it for 1000 objects at the time ?
“We need to reduce Azure cost”
Yeah I know, but are you ready to live with performances downgrade it will generate ?
“I don’t understand on what thing you worked past week, where is a devops card ?
Fuck you, I’m in extenuating fire mode, I don’t have time for a fucking devops card
“We should migrate whole stack to modern technology, like JavaScript”
Thank you for your imput, Blazor WAS created to avoid JabaScript
“The client has only 1.000.000 records and API doesn’t return them all”
Use fucking paging moron. And BTW, I’m adding “number of authorized requests” shortly.
I can go on and on and on for hours. But the idea is : I completely lost the will or motivation to do anything. I’m considering just to quit and go back to be Junior dev for a random company.

I need to put that cat ON the table. Because in reality this cat is actuallt on the table !

Yes I did.... :(

Am I the only one ?

15+ years in c# / .net dev and I still google "c# string compare ignore case" each time. Its just fucking faster than to remember exact syntax of the "StringComparison.OrdinalIgnoreCase"

All B2B solutions boil down to "How I import your Excel"

IE is dead ?!

NOT SO FAST.

The whole singin in Visual 2022 uses... Internet explorer renderer and... doesn't work on a Windows Server 2022 because of... "Enchanced internet explorer security policy".

I'm dying inside.

Way to go Hitachi !! My almost oldest hard drive.

65644 hours "on". Still working lol.

Why 95%+ devs are bad ???

Just did a recruitement for a post opf Principal Engeneer with possibuility to be CTO.

375 candidats at first interview.

Only 8 remaining for second phase

Our of 8, only 3 managed to complete a small code test.

Outr of 3, one asked for (I shit you not) 700k$ salary (lolz).

Out of 2 remaining, 1 just decided "I did for lolz to see if I get an offer so I can boost my current work salary",

Leaving us with only 1 candidate...

So fucking time consuming.....

Client : We have performance issues on <this> page.

US : Testing with their data on : Xeon : All good, Core i7 : all good, Core i5 : all good, A smartphone : all good, core i5 UM version from 5 years ago (You know, 1.8Ghz, 2 cores, not 4) : all good.

US : Could you share your screen and show us ?

Client : Sure ! Shares his screen. Chrome is already opened. Refreshes the page, after 15 seconds, chrome : Would you like to stop script on this page ?”

US with mic on mute : “WTF?! It cannot happen here. It’s only a list of about 500 rows!”.

US : “Hello, could you open a tasks manager?”

Client : “ Sure, but I need to do it through here”

Some random VID interface popping up. Opens tasks manager with a beautiful “48 vCPUs detected”.

I have no idea how their virtualization is settled, but it seems to be messed up. Tomorrow going to be fun. I have a call at 9am to explain them their problem. Their IT will hate me forever.

If anyone has tips on Chrome through virtualization, please tell me.

EDIT : Yes 48. Not 4-8. It's not an error

Ahahaha

More of a suprise.

Just by error double clicked on WINDOWS machine on a BASH (.sh) script.

Welp, some randon bash processor appered and script was executed correctlly.

I almost shit my pants, it's a script which changes production env.

I was expecting a notepad lol

I always laugh when I see "google" and "private" in the same phrase

Recruiting front end right now… I’m tiered of this BS.
95% of applicants: “hey I don’t understand what you want, but look at my cool, ToDo app in <INSERT ANY framework>”
“Ok, now add a quick search in your todo project”
“Oh wow, it’s like 5 days work lol and should be managed at back end. I Shouldn’t care”.
How HOW these idiots even have a job ?
I’m out of words. I want to scream, pull my own hair and (Weirdly enough) watch a DareDevil movie

New Icon for Microsoft Edge Canary.

I'll just leave it here.

I can't take any more CRUD.

That's it.

It seems all I do every day is CRUD, CRUD and more CRUD.

It's easy, it's fast, but fuck me... Give me at least some data manipulation to do, SOMETHING where I actually need to enable my mind, and not just "write code while watching netflix".

One of our clients is called Skynet. Should I be worried?

Rule number 1 in performances debug :

It's always I/O.

If it's not IO, then the code should be REALLY bad.

Did a nasty thing in prod...

Very nasty.

So nasty even default graph tells me something about going yolo in prod.

Maybe it's weed. But feels like that graph tells me not to trry this shit ever again.

ALWAYS read warnings guys.
Story time !
A client of ours has a synchronization app (we wrote it) between his inhouse DB and our app. (No, no APIs on their end. It’s a schelduled task).
Because we didn’t want to ask them for logs every single time, the app writes logs to disk (normal) and in Applications Insights in Azure.
When needed, I can go in portal, get all logs for last execution in a nice CSV file.
Well, recently we added more logs (Some problems were impossible to track).
So client calls us : “problem with XXX”
Me : Goes to Azure, does the same manipulation as always. Dismiss a smaaaaaalish warning without reading. Study logs. Conclusion: “The XXX is not even in the logs, check your DB”.
Little I knew, the warning was telling me “Results are truncated at 10.000 lines”.
So client was right, I was wrong and I needed to develop a small app to get logs with more than 10.000 lines. (It’s per execution. Every 3 hours)

What if I told you : you can use whatever the fuck OS you want, whatever the fuck stack you want ?

And IF you take a job in a certain stack, don't like it ? Quit your job !

Stop beeing whining bitches. Don't like current job ? Find a new one.

You think your app is revolutionary ? TRY and push it (And fail)

You think that at 16 you know better than people who are 30+yo ? prove it by actions.

It's easy. You have full control of what you can do.

Stop bitching, start coding.

windows, linux, mac, MS-DOS. Noone cares what you use. As long as you do the job.

We started working with some pretty big (in data volume) client. Around 4.000 projects with about 10 to 15 deliverables by project. Our software helps them plan/manage that.
US : Hey, so on this page we only display first 10, so it is fast and you can adjust using filters.
Client: No, I want to see all 4.000 projects on the same page
US : Well, for one year it will generate : 4000x10(deliverables)x12 editable fields. Your browser will crash. (No time to add virtual scroll)
Client: No, I want to see all 4.000 projects on the same page
US : Ok, here is pagination to help you.
Client: No, I want to see all 4.000 projects on the same page
US: …
Tomorrow is going to be fun.

Problems with redis... timeout everywhere...

30k READs per minute.

Me : Ok, How much ram are we actually using in redis ?

Metrics : Average : 30 MB

Me ; 30 MB, sure ? not 30 GB ?

Metrics : Nop, 30 MB

Me : fuck you redis then, hey memory cache, are you there ?

Memory cache : Yep, but only for one instance.

Me ok. So from now on you Memory cache is used, and you redis, you just publish messages when key should be delete. Works for you two ?

Memeory cache and redis : Yep, but nothing out of box exists

Me : Fine... I'll code it my selkf witj blackjack and hookers.

Redis : Why do I exist ?

These script kiddies fuck with my error metrics! I want 0 !

I swear I'll find them! Even enabled IP log for every request contain “.php”.

Needless to say, app is not even in PHP and PHP isn’t even present on server

After more than 24 years in dev, I still don't use RegEx and I have no idea how to write one without using an online builder.

I also refuse any Pull requests contaning regEx..

Fucking “front end” “Seniors” who can’t write a single line of TypeScript. Honestly FUCK YOU ALL. Waste of money on you.

I'm hal laughting, half facepaling.

Use multiple servers they said
It's gonna balance automaticlly your load they said.

Well, they didn';t accoubnt for a MEGA badly writen API whic can block a whole server for a minute.

Or, but it's not the end !!!

So you see ? 1 at 100%, 1 at 0% ? Quick maths : Average 50%.

Autoscaling kicks in at average 40% for 2 minutes.

So it kicks in... Created a 3d server... Which is still booting !!

And some trafic redirected there.

Sooo. Users on a 100% server : Bad bad bad for them
Users on 0% server : No problems
users on a new 3d server : Wait 15 seconds, then it's like 0%.

Fun fun fun. At least I know now which fucking API does that.

FUCK IT

After YEARS of research, I couldn't find a single working load testing tool

So this weekend I created my own. With blackjack and hookers.

It's limited to my app, so not reusable, but wow in 1 weekend I got more data and found more infra problems than in the past 3 years.

I am a Windows person. I always argue how great it is.

Well, not today.

I was today years old when I learned that you CANNOT uninstall store app via store ;p You need to go to settings / apps and functionality / your app / uninstall

The photo app (Yes the one bundled with win10) doesn't work if you use Hard drive compression AND it is a symlink for OneDrive (So you don't need to keep all photos on the drive). Fucking Paint works without problems.

Email client : If you alt+tab too fast after hitting 'Send email", there is 50% chances that email won't be send. Basiclly you need to hit "send" and wait until you see it in "sent" folder.

Well, as i'm ranting, here for Linux too :
I have a small ubuntu server VM, worked very well for last 6 months. Now "System in read only mode". Fucking apt-get upgrade fucked with something. I don't want to look, so I'll just rebuild a fresh vm.

And macOS should take sometyhing too : Who the fuck decided "enter" is for editing the name of file ?! really !

Well, ALL os are shit, all have downsides, I need my own OS. But I still want AA games... So windows for me.

I have 2695 unit tests in current project.

Most of them are useless but you still need to maitain them....

Perfect errors count!

that feeling when you reuse a compoinent you wrote 1 year ago and all bizzare magic still applies and everything just works as expected.

Everything is fine ! No errors !

Ahahaha.

I'm creating a "bring with you" Linux install. So I got a 512 GB USB key. (You know, to even have some persistance).

Linux flashing tool : are you sure ?

Fun :)

That's it. I'm inventing a new position :

"Dev support".

Why do people ask me "Hey, visual studio has a pop up saying I'm missing a .net4.6 framework. What should I do ?"

Or "Hey powershell says script execution is disabled, what should I do ?"

Google motherfucker, do you use it ?!

!Rant

I have not slept in 28 hours.

I discovered Quantum computing, pubo and simulators.

I FEEL it can solve my business problem, but it is fucking time consuming to write this code. (In a good way).

I do not need sleep at this point, I need answers!

Anyone with good links to either pubo examples or a useful quantum algorithm, I’ll take it ! (not the random number… I have already run that on a real QPU 9Still no idea how much that run cost in $)!)

april fools of Windows 11 :

Decided to connect me at 100 mbps instead of 2.5gbps to local network, I'm still looking how and why.

Am I crazy to ask that ?

So looking for a front-end developper. This is a mini project I ask candidates to do.

Is it too much ?

Not a rant. Just how far technologie came.

on the right:
1 Episode of a new show, 4k hdr etc : 9GB

On the left:
Whole season (26 episodes) of startrek Voyager (DVD quality).

I find this pretty much fun.

Devops (By Azure) is so stupid.... (I won';t even start of YAML, it will be a 10pages rant).

me : Ok I have 5 projects, each has it's own Azure conexxion for deploy.
Me : Can I do just ONE shared connexion ?
Devops : Yes. You need to click 150 buttons and it's done !
Me : Ok. /* doing actions */
Me : Ok ready !
Me : Project 1 do your release pipeline !
project 1 : Sure, just wait 5 minutes.
5 minutes later
Project 1 : All good.
Me :Ok now sharing test ! Project 2 : do your pipeline !Project 2 : Sure ! It's strated !
Me : Ok I'll go take a beer
... 1 hour later..
Me : project 2 ? PROJECT 2??!!!
Me : fine... going into logs.
Message : You must accept the shared conexion from Project 1 before pipeline can run
Me : WTF ? I literally just SHARED it to project 2,3,4,5 !!!

Why that idiot check ?!

One thing is sure, I hate devops more than I hate JavaScript.

!Rant

.net 6 + c# 10 is a blast to work with !

I double dare you to create hello world with less lines :) (It's actually 1 line in .net 6)

I’m fucking lost.

So, situation. I have a SQL table with about 3M rows (not a lot).

I have indexes. Indexes are used. BUT when I add where clause (On indexed column), it’s super slow. Around 10 seconds.

If I do select * (ALL 3M rows) and THEN I filter then on webserver side, it takes 0.5 seconds.

HOW my manual filtering is faster than DB filtering with indexes? I even tried bubble sort. Bubble sort is faster than SQL ‘where’. HOW ?!

I do not understand….

And if I add group by….. WELL, 25 seconds SQL time. 2 Seconds if I do select all and group by in code manually.

Does not make ANY sense to me.
What am I missing ?

Anyone who says 'Docker is easy" should burn in hell.

Sure, It took me 5 minutes to run my project in docker container

Took another 25 to run multipl;e comntainers via compose

Now, 3 hours later, can't run compose from multiple Visual Studio solutions. Says "Pull failed"

No doc. No examples. No nothing.

I'll try for another hour or so, if not, fuck that docker shit. I'll go to Service fabric.

Me : Hey Azure, I have a problem with "this" blade in Azure portal. It's not working

Azure : Disable your adblock

Me : NO

Waiting next response

Fuck you Twillio.
You bought a perfectly good email service (SendGrid) and now this service is just.. failing.
All of theirs Ips are getting blacklisted. Our clients are calling us (Of course they are).
People cannot reset passwords, cannot get ANY email notification.
Right now, SendGrid is blacklisted by majority of anti spam systems.
Twilio, fuck you again. This service we were using for more than 5 years without ANY problem. Twilio fucked up.
Fuck you Twlio again. And when we create a “critical” ticket, all you have to say is “Meehhh we’ll contact you in a week” ? REALLY ? Even Microsoft contacts us in 2 hours for critical problems.
Sorry it needed to come out.

Went on Vacations to Dominican republic !

It's a paradise !

Going back to Canada in 2 days... Oh WAIT ! Positive covid PCR test, welp, 14 days to stay in a hotel room :( And ofc need to take vacations days for that

and hotel only offer 7 days, other 7 will need to pay :( But at least I have a nice view

nobody :
Literally nobody :
Microsoft : Great news ! We added integrated blockchain in Azure SQL !

How about fixing :
performance issues
Stability issues
Reservations issues
Pricing
vCore counting

Never tell 60 users on a demo to "click on this button" at the same time.

Infra went "poof". No time to auto scale in this scenario.

Usual usage of app : 4 to 5 personns who do actions in the windows of 2 seconds.

Am I crazy ?

Right now we have an API which returns a full planning for a week for 300 employees with indicators (Like "late", "may be postponed" etc) in 4 seconds.

I have a pressure, people telling me it's not fast enough.

I honestly think it is fast.

In order of data it'a around 100 MB of JSON. AND you can do actions on the whole set if needed.

Long story short, I think 4 seconds to get all that data is pretty great. Customers think they should have it instantly.

(Never mind the whole filtering system at thier disposal, they literall only lod the full set and then MANUALLY scroll (Yes there is a quick search box)).

What can I do more ????? cache that ? I can. But they also expect that any changed value is reflected.

And we fucking do it. While you are on the page there is a SignalR conenxion created and notified when any of data is changed and updates it on front. Takes around 500 ms.

Apprently "too slow".

I honestly don't see what we can do more with our small 4 dev team.

Give me 56 developpers I can do something, but right now I'm proud of result.

Got blames for 2 hours because our product went down.

Because the provider of license managment went down.

Well, now I put in place a "fuck you" work around. If licensing provider is down, people can still connect and use product (But not create new accounts).

So silly.

I think I'm still under NDA.

But I wanted to share, that shit after 6 months figured out that the ONLY time I can breath is weekend.

And I'm telling this in a GOOD sens. It's one of the reports I get 1-2 times a week, but this one struck too much close to reality ':)

Why so much hypocrite Devs here ?
Examples :
I don’t use VScode because it sends telemetry.
Same for Windows 10
Same for half other products.
Like YOU don’t collect telemetry in apps YOU build. And if you don’t, have fun debugging without any data beside “It doesn’t work” comments !

For all you complaning about Windows updates.

The last one requires you to accept new Terms of Service.

So just don't accept the : no updates EVER.

RANT
JetBrains should be renamed in “Shit for brains”.

Actually no. Even the dump I take in the morning has more intelligence than ANY product of that “company”.

What a fucking waste of time…

Auto tuning for Azure SQL databases is cool but :
DON’T allow it to automatically drop indexes ! (My bad, I should’ve tested that before)
It dropped one of the most used indexes in the DB. Yep, just like that. 150+ timeout exceptions and customers going crazy

I slowly relise that "modrn" developpers don't know a minimal things about programming (yes, i'm using "programming" instead of "evelopping")

They copy paste shit, it works. They resolve some problems it works.

But... They have have ZERO understading of what they are doing.

Just couple of days, got a discution with a person who is "Blazor expert". who will be paied 200$ / hour to find problem in current implementation. I KNOW there are problems because couple of them I introduced my self.

We at server side. I provided test logins, plus 10 page document explaining infrastracture.

One of his first question in interview : "Oh. I cannot see ajax calls in network in chrome".

WTF DUDE ? Do you even understand how server side blazor works ?!

Welp, he is hired. FOrt 120 hours.

I' want to see what he will present, as it's clear as day he doesn't know a thing about server side blazor architecture.

Well well well.
Story time.

Since we are working from home for the past 4 months, I finally decided to install a Microsoft SQL server on my home server. (Mostly was using Azure)

My server is running Windows Server 2012 R2.
Tried installing SQL 2019 : fail, 2016 : Fail, 2012 : Fail. Some obscure message about some DLLs not being at right version. (And a warning that it is no recommended to install SQL server on domain controller, but I know, it is my home setup, not roduction)

“Ok fine, I’ll install it on my PC instead”. Windows 10 PC. NOPE. “Cannot install on a compressed drive”. Welp, wtf ? (Of course you cannot select destination install folder, I could’ve put it on another drive).

So here I am. Working 100% on Windows, installed Ubuntu server 20 LTS in Hyper-V, Installed Microsoft SQL server on it (BTW, install is very easy compared to windows). And that shit is working. And new “Terminal” app does support SSH out of box, no need to add Putty !

So as a Windows user, I needed Linux to make Microsoft SQL techno work.

Nothing will ever surprise me anymore. (BTW it’s fucking fast. I like SQL server on Linux)

Not bad vs 2022. Not bad !

I wanted to write that (really, not a joke).
Sometimes, auto complete just works.

You win Linux. That was the last straw. I will never install ANY linux distribution ever again.

Setup a simple FTP server. What can possibly go wrong ?

Ok now I want it to point to /media/ftp

Easy, right ?

Just add local_root=/media/ftp

Weeeeellll nop.

Not working. Completly ingnoring this setting, all users log to home directory.

#chroot_local_user=YES

tried, no effect.

I'm wiping this server and installing windows server there.

Too bad, the process started very well, the machine is fully confiogured, ready to go, DNS working every thing working. Except this shitty FTP.

So FUCK YOU linux wioth config files, WELCOME windows with nice GUI where I can just SELECT the default ftp folder

We have pretty fast and lean dev process between QA/Design/Devs.

But sometimes, it's going to shit ;p

QA :
An option "ROLE" is missing for grouping in that table.
So 5 min to create ticket, assign someone from design on it

Design : Yeah, this is true. We missed that option in our design.
Proceds to modift figma by adding an option "Role" to a drop down.

Reasigned to Junior dev.

Junior dev : I have no clue how grouping works with graphql.

So at least 30 min.

Reasigned to me.

Me after 1 min of looking at it : PR chhanges on screen shot :

Facepalm... Everyhtibng was already in place, someone forgot to add id AND name, not just name.

Git blame => Or never mind... it was me..

I';m officialy spending 30$ / day on cigarettes.

And average of 20$/day on beer.

Where do people find motivation to stop these things lol ?!

A lot of money here xD

Any code should be simple and easy to read / understand.

I just reworked an old stored SQL proc.

Went from 102 lines to ... 10.

More I code, more I realize that maintainability, readability, comments and unit tests are more important than actual code. (And performances ofc. But if 1 line code does it in 1 second and 500 lines code in 0.2 seconds, I’ll take one line solution every time)

Worst week ever.

Servers are on fire. Respoinse times out of control

Some SIMPLE SQL queries (literaly select * from whatever where Id = id) timouts at 30 seconds.

No idea what's goining on (And I have full logs of all api calls and all DB queries). No way to find how to corelate this data.

Ok, I added 1000$/month on Azure and the problem is "masked", but not resolved.

I have dumps, I have logs I have everything, why the fuck I can't find the 1 or 2 APIs causing that ?!!!

Now I feel better.

We are recruiting a front-end developer for 90k/year.
He refused to implement a simple ordering on our test, telling us “There are libraries to do that”. Apparently, TypeScript is not front-end.
Kindoff questioning our decision now.

Anyone has a better way to calculate / display advancement % ?

I';m using that by habit for the past 15 years. But it's kind of boring to write every time.

So....

I'm loving my personal project in Node.JS but I have to say, whoever would use this for any involved professional purpose is a fucking retard.

A complete fucking retard.

Errrors related to their weakly typed bs would have been caught by a compiler in literally ANY OTHER LANGUAGE. Yeah it would take more time to tag objects etc, but then it would be DONE RIGHT and a look-ahead compiler wouldn't be necessary to tell you 'oh the reference could point to a completely different type ! nothing will warn you of this, but if you sort of hover after a certain line the source of the error it took a fucking hour of runtime to produce will be clear !'......

remember just say @NoToJavascript

Insertion sort exists

99% of devs:

Bubble sort for the win!!

Just... use... framework-provided sort! Stop trying to do it yourself!

I knew I wasn't very good at SQL, but here is a proof.

Need to make a bulk recalculation action. Basiclly precalculate some values in a separate table to speed up acess.

1 day of work : Fully SQL solution with triggers.

Execute for test : 35 minuts !! for

Me : fuck that

Today : 7 lines c# solution (Took me less than 2 hours) . Same database, saame data set : 10 seconds execution.

Well, I guewss I'll never try again fully SQL solutions lol

Microsoft :

"YOLO All Devops pipeline are now .net 8"

Me, lunching PROD release : "Whatever, I don't use any advanced shit"

Pipeline : "Can't connect to your nuget soure (private) : 401"

Me : What ? You just connected to it in prevous step in pipeline !

Azure : Yah, but prev st ep was using different syntax so it worked

Me : Ok, here you go, same syntax

Azure : Still nop.
Me : WHY ?!!!
Azure : I won't tell you. 401 !!

Me : Fuck you, I 'll rewrite this step from scrath !
30 mins later

Azure : Naaaan, stil 401.
Me : HOW ?!!! You literally use this nuget feed in 2 prev steps with no issues.
Azure : Fuck you
Me : fuck you too.
15 mins later
me to me... Hmm, I've already restored all packages. They "should" stay where they are..
Me : Take that azure : Ignore restoring for this step"
Azure : Oh yeah, that works ! All compiled !

WTF ?!!!! And why they release cha ges without even sending a mail. because fuck us apparently.

God I hate devops....

Out out new guide lines for pull requests.

Reviewing around 10 PR today. All respect them

Overload is pleased. ;O

First "computer" : Electronika BK. Had some fun with table software and some basic

first X86 : Intel 80286 with wooping 1MB of ram and 40 MB hard drive.

First fun experiance :

Me : "I'm gonna clean folders"
Me : "What are these files on the c: ? I'll move them into a folder"
(Youknow like io.sys, autoexec.bat)
Reboots :
Computer : "Please insert a boot drive"
Me : "The what now?"
Needed some help to fix it.
At least I learnt how boot loader works and wrote my own small thingy in asm

Not sure how to feel.

Just landed on a stackoverflow querstion. Originated by myself 5 years ago. With a long discussion and a solution.

Sooo how the fuck I don't remember it at all ?

Wanted to create a windows 11 install USB

Dumb tool reformated a 512 GB key to have ... 32GB partion. Apparently it is a maximum supported for Win 11 install

Idiotic

Me : So cool ! My new graphQL APIs are working so good !
Also me : ‘order by <text field> take 50 skip 10000’
Me : Hmmmm.. 2.3 SEDCONDS ?! WTF. Let’s add an index !
SQL : Sorry bro, can’t add index on nvrachar(max).
Me: OK. Here you go, you are nvrachar(128) now. Add my index !
SQL : Ok
GraphQl :<same query > Here : 90 milliseconds
Me : ‘order by <text field> desc take 50 skip 10000’
GraphQL : Sorry bro : 3 seconds. (Yes, slower than without any index)
Me : Do I fu7cking need to manually add ASC and DESC indexes ? WTF IS GOING ON !
I should’ve learnt a bit more about databases. ☹. And now I don’t have time to refactor a prod database as “needed” .
/me needs to buy DB audit. Company is still a bit small to have a DBA full time.

How do you clean up branches while working with PR ?!

It’s a nightmare. For each “bug” or feture there is a pull request created. As far as I know you MUST create a branch.

It’s easy to clean up GitHub (I’m just deleting branch after accepting PR. Which actually doesn’t even delete it for X days or something).

But local branches. OMG. It takes me at least 10 min/week to clean up and some of our devs don’t bother. They literally have 50+ local branches.

How do you manage that ?

I’m just about to write a script which deletes every local branch except selected (Yep UI with list of branches). But seems like overkill.

When you used ALL time for refactoring and there is no more time left for much needed work

Me :

I will use .Trim() before ToLower(), so ToLower has potentially less characters to iterate over.

Also me :

What ? Only 5.000 rows ? Let’s load them all ! It’s faster then use “where” and “group by”. No problems !

!Rant

Was thinbking about a frequentlly asked feature in app since December 2022.

Solution cam to me last night, 1 hour to do a POC, working.

3 days next sprint to implement it properly.

Feels good :)

Ok. that made a full circle.

I needed for ONCE to manually do git things.

(There is a plugin in V which wil lrecompile SCSS to CSS if CSS file is deleted, I want to comit delete).

WHY DO I HAVE VIM ON MY WINDOWS ????

And most importantly, how do I exit it ?

Thanks for nice conflict detection !

Is it too much LinQ for others devs to get ?

Personally, I don't think so.

Can someone rollback the 2020 patch already ? It's buggy

C# :
Welcome to C#, as it is a very powerfull and typed language you will never have issues with Equals and "==".

Also C# : (image)

Edit : It's actually wrking as expected, but I would';ve guessed that "==" would wotk for basic types

Best and worse IDE feature for you.
Me :
IDE : VS2019
Best : Conditional break points (cf image)
Worst : Git branches management (For example : can’t delete multiple branches at the same time)

To all developers working on publicly visible APIs or writing public documentation.
DON’T BE A DICK !
Do not just put a screen capture of your curl request which takes 10 minutes to write by hand.
Do not show me list of arguments as an image.
Have AT LEAST one executable demo project (Any language)
And, it’s 2020, add a fucking proxy generator.
How hard can it be?

I think my service decided to die.

Welp, it's not a critical one.

Hmmmm,

Someone forgot to renew SSL

I was around 12. My mother just took a new position as Algorithmic and programming teacher (Mathematics before) for high school seniors. (Around 16-17 in Russia back in a day).

So sometimes, I waited for her after school, listening (just a bit) what she was teaching.

Then one day I was waiting while she was giving an exam of 2 hours to seniors (End of year exam). In 20 minutes, I doodled a thing on a piece of paper and showed my mother. I was correct on all questions and all flow diagrams (Was not called like this back in a day).

From this moment, I knew, programming and logic are for me.

At the end of high school (So I was 17), I received the collective message from most girls in my class saying : “ You felt in love with computers and ignored us”. They were right ☹, I realised it way later.

Hello.
So we have a query inside our company :
We are developers. We are (At least supposed to) logic.
Do you think We developers can influence environment of the planet?
For my self : Not sure, but I would like to believe that more my code is optimized, less resources it will use.

What the fuck is going on ???

How the "intermediate" c# developers can't do a simple null safe average of even numbers in an array ?!

Why they still write loops and shit (without any nul checks ofc) while it can be done in 1 line :

array?.Where(x => x % 2 == 0).DefaultIfEmpty(0).Average() ?? 0

WHY ? Even Junior c# dev is supposed to know that shit

Every single linux tutoriel ever :

Do theses steps :

Ste p 1:
Ste p 2:
Step 3 :

Reboot your system.

System doesn't boot anymore

AT THE FUCKING END in SMALL TEXT : "Oh you can't follow these instruction if you are applying changes to system disk. here is the right wasy : <link>"

Stupid linux communty. Warning ashould be AT THE FUCKING begining.

And this is why I will never be a person to setup cables in a datacenter.

I can't even manage properlyt cables in my own PC.

(Yes, I also wanted to share pic of my PC)

2017. Because 1st January is Sunday and it fucked up all my code for business days calculations.

We are in 2020 (almost) and I'm STILL fixing some of data problems caused by that.

strangely enough my SQL function works perfectly, only my C# equivalent has problems. I would’ve suspected opposite from myself

Still talking resolutions ? This is mine

Today is a sad day.

I loved Songza from day one. Google bought them, but kept their functionality alive via google music.

Today goole transferred google music to youtube music.

My beloved algos and functionalities of original Songsa are GONE. And their new shitty service propose only playlist. 0 AI, 0 machine learning.

Anyone knows a free music plateform I can migrate to ?

Clouwn world !

Microsoft 4-5 years ago : "hey we put in place a small Ai calculator "advisor" for you to check. Maybe you can pay a bit less"

People using advisor and puting it in yearly mode to how much diff it would take over a year.

Microsoft : Fuck people are paying less. Then see image...

I only see one reason for that.

Howe much your dev env takes ?

(Fair warning, I use VS with open solution and SQl acess and Azure managment and "quick c# thing to do a thing like copy subtitles".

I still think it's a lot.

I just told to Canada general census to put me as "Apache helicopter". On official papiers and shit !

I expect to be called in a couple of days lol, but seemed to fun to pass on this oportunity.

So if they DON'T call me back, next year in official census you'll see at least one apache helicopter lol

My server has constaly 40% CPU usage.... Even when there are NO requests.

I'm searching "wtf is going on" for the past 2 days.

0 results. Clients are unhappy, sales team is unhappy. Noone is happy and I don't have an answer. Grrrrrrr.

*Goes back to reading logs

By server I mean Azure WebApp, not a VM/ohysical server

Hmm,
The first one was eons ago. I was coding in Pascal and discovered System interruptions. The “Ahaha” was when I realized it’s easy to store CPU state and invoke whatever the fuck I want on any memory pointer. I loved my 2 silly animations running side by side on 80286.
Most recent : Finally understanding how “Expression” works in C# and how it can be combined into a Lambda and compiler does the whole heavy lifting on types compatibility and more.

Now I'm a bit impressed by auto complete of VS2022.

The full text in grey is auto complete proposition.

Back story :
I have a table where datetime is stored as nvarchar(max).
I'm trying to convert that shit into a proper datetime2 column
But there are dates in ISO format, there are in MM/dd/yyyy, dd/MM/yyyy and there are some with hours/minutes parts.

So i'm making a little script to clean of all that up.
Ofc, not a perfect result, like 01/02/2022 will be considered as dd/MM/yyyy (98% of values are. But still cleaner than before

People : We have cache problems, nothing works !

Me looking at 2 GB cache : Well, ok here you go : (Screen)

When you get THAT response time, servcer saying something : Go relax dude :)

The LAST stable version of Visual studio was 2019.....

That 2022 is a hot garbage now.....

So many bugs....

Buit I don't know even remotly IDE which I can use insted. VS code ? no thanks.... "First install 1544554 extensions"

I want all in ONE.

Rider ? Fucking joke. Can't even asjust size and font of menus....

I love Azure. But WHY do I need to add vCores SQL for more logs/io ?

Why is it even limited ?

So no, I won't add 350$/month for 1 more vCore just for some more Mbits of log io bandwich

Me : Ok, let's GOOO. Migration of bunch of projects (Front, back, helpers, async workers etc) to .net 8 from .net 6.
Couple of hours later :
Me : yeah ! It compiles !
Couple of hours later :
me : Shit yes ! It's working. tested all major functionality. No problems !
me : Creating PR
A day later :
QA : The names of day in datapicker are now in upper case.
me : LOL
Qa : Crickets

welp. Welp. Actually that make sense, necause brefore day names were autotranslated in Chrome randomly. like "Mon" was considered a french word and traslated into "y"

QA : crickets.

I'm gonna force push this PR lol

I find still very funny that Desktop outlook (So Microsoft) doesn't support MFA from Office 365.

I'm kind of tired to tell user go and geerate "app specific" pass which bypasses MFA.

Specially when even default Windows 10/11 mail client supports MFA just fine and fucking faster than outlook.

This is the part of my job I hate : Administrating users, search how to make thier PC/MAC work (Btw Mac client does suppoort MFA ironicly).

Can I just get back to Infrastructure, redis caches, step in Q# ? .

Just to show you.

The overhead between actual SQL requests and the stack :

.Net 6 =>
Web API =>
EntityFramework core 6 =>
(middleware) GraphQl.EntityFramework =>
GraphQl =>
SQL

Seems a lot ? Yep. But actually... that shit just scales. More sql requests will not cost much. And this stack will take care of generating optimal querry better than me by hand.

(These querries on screenshot are fairly complex).

I like it. So, so much checks done for me and front end people love it too ! They don't need to open a tiocket when they need a new field.

So, /adpoted by me.

PS : And pair it with Blazor, miam.

My project starting time (in debug) is so long (around 2 minutes) I have time to go fishing in WoW.

Normal people : Save thier work regulary.
Me :

Oh no matter, notepadd++ saves opens files somewhere, i'm good with that.

There are important lohins, passwords, some temp stuf and work in progress for something, there are backups and information needed.

OMG, Usually I'll be the first to protect Visual Studio. (I do love it, I love to have everything inside same IDE).

But since last update....

Lunch VS 2022with your project.
Start a new SQL querry via SQL servers explorer
Execute querry.

Now, try to fucking close thios not saved SQL file. It will ask you, if you wanna save bla bla.

And then... VS just dies.... Goes in full COPU usage mode for 2-3 MINUTES lol.

Only happens with unsaved SQL files, while connexion is opened AND you have an opened solution

Each time I see THAT, there is 50% chance that server will not reboot :(

Fucking linux....

Why, just why we don't have roll backs and all nice things we have in windows ?

Why am I like that....

All is good, there is ONE FUCKING request which is slow.

Why, why I'm searching it ? For fun I guess !

After couiple of hours (Yes, apprently it's insane how hard is to add a new NIC to a linux machine and make it start on boot), I finally got my connexion working !

Story :
Server has original MB 1Gbits card. Internet connexion is 1.1 Gbps. So 1Gb card only picked at 940 Mbits download

I bought a 2.5 Gb card (new nic)

Pluged it in : Nothing
Couple of ifconfig -a etc, bring device UP : Yeah working !
Reboot : Nothing

/etc/interfaces : nothing

And why it's not eth0 and eth1 etc as before but some thing cryptic like enp3s0.

Well, at least now everything working (Apperently there is a new "network plan" config file in yaml... what a waste, DO FUCKING JSON YOU RETARDS)

Ping is awsome tho ! Same cable on windows Machine, I get 5 ms.

Use linux they said. It is stable they said.

I use a linux VM for managing DNS with BIND and configuration via WebMIN.

A minor webmin update : Sure, let’s click.

“Update failed. WebMIN requires UnZIP” Poof whole interface is down. Here we go for 30+ minutes of manual rolling back, installing unzip, retrying update. That shit only happens on linux.

!Rant

I just LOVE working with GraphQL now

Last time I was so in love with a techno, it was introduction of LinQ in net

Ahaha, it's almost magic how "total request" and "failed request" are 0.001 multiplier. I can live with 99.99%

Working with MS technos is cool. But it cost you RAM !!!! (And some of our psychy will go out).

Thank you weed.

I finally spent around 1 hour to set uo perfect levels. (for me at least).

Why, why I alays need to set up everything ? Why can't I just thing be....

Include

<meta http-equiv="Content-Security-Policy" content="default-src 'self';">

Everywhere....

Company just lost a big contract because thier dumb software didn't find this tag and classified security as "F"..... It was the ONLY find in thier dumb report.

Do you guys take time to properly name your Unit tests ?

I kinda feel it's waste of time. (There are comments with description of the test tho)

Does anyone have a better way to implement throttle on value changes in c# ?

I'm using this right now and I find it a bit "too much lines"

@highlight
searchThrottle.Throttle(TimeSpan.FromMilliseconds(200))
.Select(e => ((string)e.Value)?.Trim())
.DistinctUntilChanged()
.Subscribe((x) =>
{
quisckSearch = x;
InvokeAsync(async () => await LoadFirstPage());
});

Compiling a project (Not BIG but still pretty big)

C# compiler : YOLO, you have 12 Cores ? I'll use 12 cores. BAM : 3 seconds, compiled !

SASS compiler :

Rolf, I'm gonna take file by file, recompile all dependant files to produce a single file. 2 Seconds per file. X 150 files.... 6 Minutes SASS is still running....

Is it slow ?

taliking about unit tests. I have 2746 unit tests in a project (Covering around 15% of code).

It takes around 2 minutes in local (With good PC) and aroubnd 20 minutes in a pipeline to execute.

Would you people say it's slow ?

Microsoft is SLOWING down Visual 2019 on purpose now... that's insane.

Yes VS 2022 is looking good and shit, but why the SAME project went from 2 mins of compile / start time to 4 minutes in 2019 and stayed at 2 mins in vs 20022 ?

Nooooo . I'm not using 100% Microsoft at all.

But... task manager : You are sure ?

Challenge#1 26-01-2020

Implement document.getElementsByClass without using document.querySelector or using document.all.

Part A : Write a function getElementsByClass(className){...} such that it returns the same result.

Hint to solve: `Recursion`.

Part B: Give a solution without using recursion.

@COD4 @Wack @NoToJavaScript @Root @don-rager @Ranchu

Wish me luck.

Deploying Blazor app for the first time in prod in about a month.

Did tests. Curent infrastructure can hold around 70 concurent sessions with no problems. (probably more, 70 was the limit in my browser).

I tested each sessiuon with 70.000 line table. (Yep whole 70.000 lines for each session with a virtual scroll).

Shit is fast. Too fast even. I'm waiting for other shoe to drop, but so far in simulated tests it's amazing.

Let's talk in 2 month AFTER prod deploy.

!DEV

My mice stopped moving "efortlessly".

So I added a bit of scotch. Mice is working again very well and you don;t feel the drag !!

Yeah I should update my keyboard / mice, as they are in horrible state.

Gonna love ChatGPT from time to time.

Best version of this method I wrote by hand was 7 lines. Now it's 3.

And it's perfectly readable.

private static DateOnly ParseDateArgument(GraphQLValue? argumentValue, IResolveFieldContext context)
{
return argumentValue switch
{
GraphQLStringValue strVal when DateOnly.TryParse(strVal.Value.ToString(), out var date) => date,
GraphQLVariable varVal when DateOnly.TryParse(context.Variables?.ValueFor(varVal.Name.StringValue)?.ToString(), out var date) => date,
_ => default
};
}

Best android APP :

DNS666

/change my mind

I think I have a slight problem in my API.
Snapshot 1 : API entrey point
Snapshot 2 : on "return" statement from API.

No biggies, 8 GB of RAM used.

The API ? Adds 1 ligne in database.

That's gonna be a fun debug

!DEV

As some of you (I'm certain), I have a plex server at home. Hosted with an "old" core i5-4670K, 16GB ram, no GPU. (Ubuntu 20).

My question. HOW, HOW THE FUCK :

I can play HDR and DV videos via plex TV app.
I can play HDR via my S10 fucking phone !
I cannot play nor HDR nor DV since last update on Xbox X... It's the ONLY use I have for that console. If my TV can do better, wtf I'm supposed to do with that console ? (Any way to put plex server on it ?)

My friend can play my 4k HDR video on apple TV via remote connexion..

What's wrong with Xbox X ?

RHAAAAA.

Also, FU all ripers using PGS format for subtitles without SRT option.

Also FU sony for not allowing TrueHD via ARC. (AT least on my A/V reciver)

Also fuck me for buying xbox.

Also fuck the worl just because.

Ok, I feel better. Thanks you all.

I'm doing it !

I WILL run current PROD projects in a preview 1. (Well, at least I will try).

Wish me luck !

When you go to "Oh they do it cheap", don't expect results...

Changed my PC build around 2 years ago.

Went from Core i7 / Nvidia to Ryzen 9 / AMD

Welp, AMD is totaly unstable.

I've invested 5k $ so I'm gonna ride it, but NEVER, EVER EVER again I'm buying AMD CPU or GPU.

Shit is unstable as fuck. I have latency issues, CPU issues, Video issues almost every week.

With Intel/nVidia cvombo I had before, I had issues maybe once every 3-4 months.

So yeah, buy low cost AMD, you pay the price later in usability. Fuck them.

VS2022 is an abomination......

I was forced to put the whole team on 2019 ansd remove all .net 6....

VS2022 is NOT USABLE AT ALL !

It's like vs2010 which we all skipped.

I'll wait for VS 2024 at this point...

can't work. "Changed a file" ? Oh wait i'll just recompile whole solution for 3 minmutes at EACH FUCKING FILE CHANGE.

VS2019 9Same project) : 0.2 seconds.

All new frameworks / patterns / code concepts seem great !! Until you take a minute to imagine your current application using them and the time needed to implement.

That's it. That's the rant. /me wants to buy code migrator / generator from "A" to "B"

I hate Pull request system!
Plot twist: I just put it in place in my organization because I see the benefit.
Just spent 4 hours (Note : delay was because git refuses to write to stdout and writes everything in sdterr. And couple other things) developing a helper “powershell” script for “small tasks”. It sits directly in the project and as of 30 mins ago available to all devs.
Let’s say you need to change a typo.
Normal process:
• Create a branch
• Fix problem
• Commit/push
• Create pull request (This one was NOT easy. I’ll explain why if someone is interested)
• Switch back to master to fix second bug
Script does exactly that now. ./CreatePullRequest.ps1 <tmpbranchname> <Comment>. (The target for pull request will be the original branch, not limited to master)
Now I’m trying to find what I missed. Because I missed something, 100% guarantied.

I know it !

But when it finally works (reSharper) it's really not 'that' bad.

But my poor AMD Ryzen 9 3900X is not good enough I think lol.

About 30 seconds init time.

So, so far for ending my life, I think it will be opening wrists. It seems the most non painfull way to go.

Better ideas ?

I'm going insane.

So let's say you have an object in database, with 20-30 related objects (Or lists of objects) (All related objects have a foregn key to the "main" object).

Now, as long as you just edit/create thinga everything is fine.

But the deletion... Oh MY GOD

"Just put on delete cascade", right ? RIGHT ?

WRONG ! presence of some objects should block delete, while others can be deleted and some are "situational" depending on the first object state.

So delete operation with all the checks takes .... 1 - 2 seconds.

Seems fine ? WRONG ! When you have 40 or more objects to delete, even 1 second is too long.

Should I say "fuck it" and just write a stored proc which will crash if object cannot be deleted for any reason ? because with Entity Framework, I don't see how I can do it effitenly.

But I HATE stored proc, after couple of month/years noone remembers how they work...

RHAAAAA.

Ok I feel better.