25 phrases you wish you could say at work more often

(Warning: Contains naughty words...:-)))

1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

11. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. No, my powers can only be used for good.

24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.

25. Who me? I just wander from room to room

A while back, I had a lot of telemarketers were calling me daily, and I mean A LOT of them.

I got so frustrated with he calls that I decided I had to figure out a better way to handle those calls.

At the time, I was working with a PBX software called Asterisk, which is used to handle hardware interfaces and network applications for phone calls.

I needed a suitable side project and there was a version of Asterisk designed for Raspberry Pi, so I made a fun little answering service for myself.

Whenever a telemarketer called, I asked them to call back later, but to "my personal number", and gave them the number to my phone robot. (which had a pre-paid SIM card in a GSM dongle mounted)

When it received a call, it would play a pre-recorded phrase, wait for 1000 ms of silence and then play the next phrase.
After all 16 phrases had been played, it would start from phrase 7 again and repeat until the caller gave up.

I had this set up running for a while, and then added another robot for english speaking callers.

The calls stopped after a few months.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

My work started working on an adult goods site and every once in a while I hear phrases like "Wait, go back to anal", " Can I take a look at sex toys", etc. We're all pretty professional about it, but I still get caught off guard when I hear those convos haha.

If your IDE found

10 errors

and 47 warns

would you correct them

or let them slip.

YO ...

His palms are sweaty

Knees weak, arms are heavy

The tests are failing already

Code spaghetti.

He's nervous,

But at his laptop he looks calm and ready
To squash bugs

But he keeps on forgetting

What he wrote down, the whole team goes so loud

He opens his file, but the code won't come out

He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now

The deadline run out, times up, over, blaow!

Snap back to reality, oh there goes file integrity

Oh, there goes documentation, he choked

He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy? No

He won't have it, he knows his whole header's code

It don't matter, he's dope, he knows that, but he's broke

He's so stacked that he knows, when he goes back to his mobile home, that's when its

Back to the office again yo, this whole rhapsody

He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

Note: All credits to the original owners of these phrases.

Few phrases you should not say at Job:

1. That's not my job
2. We've tried that before
3. There's no budget for that
4. I told you so
5. That doesn't follow procedure

Comment if you have more.

Stay away from those LinkedIn recruiters who use words like: "Cutting edge technology" , "Geeks", "Top notch", "Team player" , "Esteemed organization" , "Ground breakers" , "Change the world" and any more of these shitty phrases!!

Introducing ArnoldC, a stack programming language based on Arnold Schwarzenegger phrases:

"Android charger" is one of the most infuriating phrases I can hear.

One of the biggest barriers to the wide(r) scale adoption of functional programming languages like Haskell, F#, and Scala is how snooty and condescending your average FP developer is. And beginner-unfriendly.

Ask them a question about an intermediate topic (in my case, the Free monad) you're likely to get a whole torrent of category theoretic rubbish in return.

This is a common pattern I see when "experts" answer questions.

Now, it didn't bother me much because I've studied a fair amount of category theory and can usually follow such answers, but, for the sake of the general case, I'd like to shove these rules into the heads of everyone writing an answer to a question (not just FP):

1. If you can't illustrate a concept clearly without going into verbal diarrhoea with phrases like "monad homomorphism" and "just a monoid in the category of endofunctors" then you clearly haven't understood it properly (unless, of course, the answer absolutely requires it). An answer is not the place to show off your knowledge of a topic.

2. Please remember that everyone was a beginner at some point. Including you. Understand that some concepts can be extremely frustrating at first and yet incredibly simple after you grok them (eg. monads).

3. If the person asking the question is a beginner, using complex concepts in an answer just because it's a more "elegant" way to explain it doesn't really help them. They are more likely to get confused and drop the topic.

(Kudos to those people who give highly relevant, insightful, simple, and intuitive answers, you guys are the best).

A lot of phrases we use in software would make awesome alternative-rock band names.

- Integer Overflow
- Curly Braces
- Recursion
- Callback Hell
- Daemon Processes
- Nested Loop
- Regular Expressions

Source: Twitter

That cringe fest when non IT people throw random phrases related to IT which doesn't even make sense just to impress the audience

Just updated my LinkedIn summary, included "Design Thinking", "bleeding edge technologies" and "innovation-driven"...
What other phrases can you think of that only exist to play Buzzword-Bullshit-Bingo? :D

Dev slang

Me: Hey “Schatz” (german equivalent to “treasure”, “sweety”)
Schatz: Yes?
M: What R U doing?
S: Working on my page
M: Oh C (C for “Sí”, what is “Yes” in spanish)
S: && U?
M: null (nothing)

* several Simpsons memes later *

S: Schatzy (female schatz, me), (Want to go to Amy Winehouse tributte) == true
M: !C
S: Why?
M: Cuz I !like it
S: oh, && you.want2Go2TheCinema == true
M: !false
S: True ^_^
M: When?
S: I !know, Tomorrow at !morning?
M: !not cool
S: !hate you
M: Me !neither

Note: Schatz it’s also a dev (Php dev)

What do you think? Should we all promote a “developer slang”? Which phrases would you like to add?

So today I got an email about a job opportunity. The email was in romainian. This is the exact translation and bear in mind that in romanian as in every other language (I guess) alot of english phrases sound very cringy. This is the email:

We need a fearless hero for the IT realm!
X company, a thriving insurance community, is looking for a real hero of software development that can make code using the .NET mystical hammer that can only be lifted by a worthy, deserving and responsible warrior.

You can't fly? Can't shoot lasers? You are not wasting your night time by looking at the moon on tall blocks wearing a cape? Then you could be the hero we need.

Do not worry, the position does not imply superhuman strength :)) However, it requires intellectual strength and attention to detail. You can even use your powers from a comfortable chair in a welcoming team full of other heroes ready to help you. We won't leave you alone, after all even Batman has Robin :))

I have attached all the information you need. Only The Chosen One can open the document so you will know immediately if you are right. :))

If you want to be responsible with your strength, then I'm waiting for your updated English resume with all your heroic deeds in the past.

Remember, not all heroes wear capes!

... WHAT THE FUCK IS .NET MYSTICAL HAMMER??? AND WHO THE FUCK USES ":))" IN AN EMAIL??

I just had a chat with the CEO (I'll call him John) of the company I work at. I was trying to get a real alignment on what I need to do to be a valuable resource to this company. They promoted me (without a raise in pay) to a different (management) role, and I do not know what I need to do to be the best in this role.

During the discussion, the CEO failed to provide any usable metrics, or a way to track those, except for phrases like "higher productivity" and "higher quality". How to track? No idea.

So, at this point, me being the idiot I am, wanted to make things explicit:
*Me: Okay, so what if I request for a 20% raise six months from now, what metrics will you look at to decide whether to give me the raise.

(My last raise was a big one, more than 100% or so, more than a year ago. That was a dev role, and I was paid 2 cents earlier, so the doubling to 4 cents wasn't really a big deal.)

John went on a long rant on how people just expect raises every year, inflation, etc. All good and fine.
But then he mentioned something strange.

*John: ...and you know, for the last three years, there has been a race to retain resources. During this race, many companies, including us, had to pay people WAY MORE THAN THEIR VALUE to retain them. These people are going to be the first to be fired during cost-cutting as they are the most expensive resources at the company without any proven value. These people should not expect raises to come soon, and if they do expect that, they need to prove the value themselves.

Now, I, being a simpleton, am wondering how is it fair for an organization to pay someone "more than their value" to retain them once so that they can just be fired two years later. How did the company decide the value of such employees to begin with?

And all this is ignoring the fact that in the company there are no metrics, no KPIs, and performance of a person is how much the CEO likes that guy. How TF the people who joined a year ago and never interacted with the CEO prove their worth?

Developers are building PowerPoints and configuring JIRA/Confluence/Laptops of Sales team, project managers are delegating management to developers and decision-making to the CEO, Technical architect is building requirements documents, Business Analyst is the same person as the QA team lead (and badly stretched), and the Release Manager is the Product Technical Admin that cannot write one sentence in English. And then we got 3.8 hours in meetings every DAY. Why TF are Dev Managers in "QA KPI Meeting"? Why are "developers" writing documentation on "How to create meeting notes at <company>"?
And, in this hell-storm, how does one really demonstrate one's value?

Story Time.

TL;DR - Because of Corporate PTSD, I replace the word "everyone/folks/guys" with "Team" when I'm addressing my colleagues, whether it be an e-mail or verbally (F2F/Zoom/GMeet).

In 2019, An office job I worked at, a new Vice President joined the company (the same one who told me he saw me in his dream).

We were required, on a daily basis, to form a circle and one-by-one everyone would out-loud say their yesterday's and current day's tasks updates.

So before the VP joined, everyone was free to initiate their turn however they wanted. Phrases like "Hey Everyone", "Good morning all" or "Hi All" was all around acceptable.

But the moment he started joining the stand-ups, he felt the need to change this phrase to a standard "Good morning Team". No other variations of this. Only and ONLY these three words.

Why you ask? Because saying Good morning is good manners and using the word "Team" strengthens the bond between co-workers and increases collaboration and creativity.

Some colleagues were bound to forget this and they did, which resulted in the VP blasting at everyone for doing so. He would show genuine rage over this, almost as if the company would go out of business because of us, not complying to do so.

Now imagine, you get up at 8 AM, get ready, commute, and get ready to speak for the standup and you get yelled at in front of everyone, FIRST THING before you start working.

Needless to say, it would kill everyone's spirit for getting their day started but nobody could speak up against him because obviously, he was the VP of the company then.

And oh yes, our CEO fired him 5 months after that because he (the VP) got slammed with a pedophilia-related lawsuit, by the parents of a 5-year old.

So, we have this ma'am at work that is the least direct person I know.

She can transform one sentence in a paragraph and the meetings/talks with her I usually end up in my "happy place" at the middle of her phrases and come back latter when she isn't finished and I'm like
"wtf is she talking about yet? Damn I went away again, shit... Just nod and smile..."

We had a meeting scheduled with her and some clients today... She missed it... MOST FUCKING PRODUCTIVE DAY EVER!

Thank you.

Does any other front-end developer have the fear that we'll run out of handy words or phrases for JS frameworks and have to import massively long sentences to use what we need?

would software product companies plz start describing what the product *actually* does on their homepages? if u say ur product/framework/tool will help me leverage this or collaborate that, it's an almost zero entropy statement, because everyone says so. Are u selling coffee or a .net gui library? because both can help me make my software better and leverage whatever it's supposed to leverage .. so, pleaaase, just say what ur product does, if that doesn't sell it, using hyped catch all phrases won't either ...

oh, and stop calling ur products somethingfy or somethingly .. just stop

Recently found a weirdest job in IT company.
The job description said you just don't need to know anything, but sometimes say some phrases like: "Who made this code, and I hate when it isn't made with framework" sitting in front of a laptop.
Someone is looking for fake programmer. I was astonished.
They said they have about four devs sitting in office and nobody believed then it is no problem, so they posted this to find couple of fake devs. Glasses and ugly sweaters is a must...

How to get me to never respond to your email: make the subject line say "Salesforce ninjaneer wanted!!!"

First of all I don't do salesforce and second ninjaneer is not a word. I hate when people say code ninja or code warrior or any of those other crap phrases. I'm a software developer. Respect that or suck it.

Some people are really getting high on this Agile shit. Probably because they learned some new bullshit bingo phrases - and it suits them: lots of vapory talk and expensive meetings and others will have to do the work anyway, while they can circlejerk on how to have shorter iterations to improve the time to market, increase the business value, inspect and adapt to faster deliver a minimal viable product - yeah, do the agile transformation, update to the digital age, you noobs. Throwing around some catchy phrases will let you compete with Google? Maybe need some blockchain or machine learning?
While you are clustering your post its, the coders who keep the ship afloat, sit in their legacy code base that's so bitrot they are mainly doing bugfix releases without a single feature for three fucking years. Consider this.

(I'll give some context before the rant: I'm part if the IT department of a manufacturing company (actually I'm 1/2 of the department), and all the applications (old an new - except the ones used on production line) used in the company are my responsibility, that including most of databases too... Also, English isn't my native language so there will be some words or phrases that I'll probably write wrong... Sorry for that, if there are any corrections, I'll be glad to hear them)

So...

There will be an implementation of new "control point" on the "shipping department" which consists on a electromechanical equipment controlled by a PLC. And despite the original concept was a collaboration between 2 departments (we, IT, and Production Control), I was never taken in consideration about anything of the project... To be fair, I forget about its existence until two weeks ago.

So, a few days I learned that there are a huge delay regarding the original deadline (mainly because the supplier was delayed with the delivery of their system), and since two weeks (less, actually, because some holydays in between) I'm learning how to integrate that "P.o.S" into an existing application on a PC using a serial communication (not the main problem, as I've done that before... With another brand of PLC's) while avoiding buying any additional software (to get the communication done and in a easy way) and that sort of things... But discovering in the process that it will be necessary to acquire such additional SW in order to finish the job ASAP.

When suddenly I get the "news" that it's almost all my duty (and responsibility) to meet the original deadline, because it doesn't matter how the other departments screw all the schedule, it's the job of IT to get the shit done in time... And what is worst: they didn't said that in such straight manner, no, the implied it while making a quick test with the general manager.

I mean, WTF? Besides doing a "respectable" number of "user support" activities in a dialy basis, I also need to manage the activities of other departments? And also fix their screw ups on a schedule that I just learned days before?

And also there is a coworker (one of whom screwed up) that, almost every time she see me, is asking "how much until you'll finish?"

As I read on a meme years ago: "please, give patience, because if you give strength, I'll need bail money too..."

Damn... I don't know of the benefits of this work are worth all this nonsense

I hate all these projects with cute cartoons, phrases and prompts, when you're debugging under pressure they're so fucking infuriating. Right now I want to destroy that dumb GitHub issues bot with a baseball bat.

Seriously? WHY THE FUCK, are there no English speaking, no god damn accent tutorial videos on YouTube regarding VLSI design, or hell even any of the fucken layout tools ... allllllll of them in very strong Indian accent .. OR not even spoken in English... the fuck folks? Some of them are “ok” to understand but I can’t get past the accent of speeding up and slowing down, and repeating the words and phrases, and then emphasizing shit like a question, but turning it into a unneeded statement, emphasizing the wrong shit... uggh I just wanna pull my fucken hair out.

Americans either are keeping VLSI knowledge a secret.. or nobody who fucken speaks English knows wtf they doing.. and that’s scary.

Everyday I lose more and more hope in humanity

One thing I noticed is that arguments don't matter in politics. Most people won't even read them, they will just assume they disagree with you and project the most simplistic arguments into yours which they can then easily object to with cookie cutter phrases from their ideology. EVEN when you agree with their main point but criticize some small associated thing

It feels like people can only be swayed in their opinion by direct indoctrination

Maybe it always was like that. But now we have twitter. And suddenly every joe feels like they have a well thought out opinion that must be shared and even better they have a convenient cult-like filter bubble that unconditionally agrees with them

I actually, unironically fear for our future

#SorryForThePoliticalRant

I wonder if it's possible to become a project manager or a scrum master without habitually incorporating the phrases, "circle back," "reinvent the wheel," and "one-stop shop," in your daily vocabulary.

Got WHMCS installed. Got most things set up, then I notice "Spam Control" and wonder what it can do..
Set it to check for phrases, and I enter "viagra" as the phrase. I click add.

Now I can't access Spam Control anymore, I just get an "Oops, something went wrong!".
Got dammit.

*background: client has told account manager he's not paying any more money till his site is done, not only is it the most in-depth WordPress site we've made, but we'll beyond the scope of the signed contract. He sent a few more edits over the weekend which I ignored because we have a team meeting later to discuss he client and where to go from here.

account manager comes in and says he has a call from client looking for me. I tell him that he should probably take a message as I'm not in the mood to be belittled by the client and we have a meeting later to discuss him anyways, we'll call him back.

AM: Come on, he says it'll only take a second and I'll be here so we can do it on speaker.

he transfers the call and we start talking in my office, before the client has even finished his first remark, the AM has left the room. Now we have the least social person in the office talking to the client when both parties are less than happy.

I managed to keep my cool and not tell the client to fuck off, and made sure I was clear about not promising any of his new edits.

Phrases like "that will take time and money" were used a lot.

There may be shots fired at the meeting later.

Seeing the phrases and language and different APIs and platforms and various versions of everything everybody talks about makes me feel even less prepared to enter the industry properly when I leave University.

I'm going being a WordPress specialist.

That moment when you see devs ranting and google out phrases to understand what they mean.

daily reminder (most of you don't need it i know) that reddit is full of the most ignorant and dumb people on the planet

thought i could hop into comments on a /r/worldnews post for interesting discussion and discourse, no, its just idiotic neckbeards trying to one up eachother on painfully cringe doomer phrases and / or who can get the most upvotes from their godawful dumbass pun

what a fuckin cesspool

and they wonder why the world is going to shit

Why are project/tool webpages so useless...?

I mean, whenever I hear of a new tool/project I google its name. Of course, its dedicated webpage pops up as result #1. And EVERY TIME I find them looking nice, but quite confusing, riddled with all the buzzwords, nice phrases, promises of a better tomorrow,... but I'm yet to find a tool's webpage that explains what's that tool for and how to use it at least half as concisely and clearly as that tool's README.md in its GH/GL repo.

I mean, I can read every single word in the webpage, look at every picture/diagram, every fancy gif and still in absolute majority of cases I have no clue what that tool does.
Then I go to its GH/GL repo, read the first 2 sections of its README.md (takes me what, 2-4 minutes?) and I know all I need to now about the tool.

What's the point of those fancy webpages apart from containing docs and an SEO-tuned link to a README.md...?

Useless waste of storage and computing power if you asked me.

Two phrases devs say to save their ass:
1. That's how this algorithm works.
2. That's the framework's / platform's / integration's / API's limitation.

In Russian, phrases “the prophet was sweeping” and “about rock music with metal music” sound exactly the same. They’re even written exactly the same, but the latter literally has two more spaces and that’s it.

What are the most overused phrases found in developer portfolios?

I work for a particular tech company doing chat based support where I troubleshoot a certain email application.

And one of the most common phrases I get is: "Hey Mister IT Guy, I am suddenly missing all of my contacts and Calendars. This super sucks! I had to rebuild my email profile to make my email work again!".

I really wish when they teach computer literacy in school they drilled "Learn How To Back Up Your Junk" more so when stuff like this happens I can get them back up and running in 10 minutes instead of telling the user they are going to have spend hours rebuilding their calendar and contacts.

Personally I like to use very obscene phrases as passwords, just in case some saves it in text.

When they read the "dump file" maybe they will be like well we will not be fucking with this one, that person is just sick.

Top 3 worst phrases to say during sex:
3. My grandpa died on this couch
2. Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
1. Scared, Potter?

I actually do have something to rant about!

The people I've decided to work with... are complete and utter fools. They don't want to keep updated with new practices and merely talk about awesome stuff... Let me elaborate.

The first person is someone I spent really many hours just writing with, I've helped him build on his personal project, which has now become our project (which I've done most of the work on now). He keeps writing about things that aren't fucking relevant for the current task - furthermore, he completely refuses to use any type of collaboration software in order to keep an eye on tasks we want to, and already have completed. He likes Git but doesn't provide helpful git messages, sometimes even stuff like 'forgot this'.. never any freaking description of what's actually been done! Not even after agreeing it should be done, he just doesn't understand what a helpful message is apparently.
I might be a bit special regarding wanting to follow practices, but how the fuck do you make any amount of money by being so ignorant!? He was a WP 'developer' a while ago, and has since changed to JS and are using a framework which he doesn't understand - he can't even remember what the documentation states.

So why do I 'work' with him? He knows a lot of phrases he's read in books, blogs, and the likes. That makes him really inspirational and positive and he really wants to become successful(like me!). But over the last few months, I've realized how bad he is at programming - he doesn't know basic programming concepts and have a hard time applying any sort of knowledge to his programming. If it's not pre-built, he can't use it, not even if the documentation has specific examples. He barely grasps the concept of binding data to a variable. He wouldn't know how to access it again though, it's just for the sake of binding it to some existing functionality.

The other guy really likes his old style. He hired me to maintain some application. Which has turned out to be a hell of several small tasks he needs to be finished or reworked - with no clear definition of the task. Most of the time, he'll do some initial changes, show the changes to me, vaguely explain what they do (not what he's trying to achieve) and first THEN ask me to do these changes, most often in some files that don't exist (he uses the wrong filenames so I have to guess/ask where the changes need to be made).
To top it all off, old syntax is used and don't get me started on the spaces+tabs for indenting lines... Because I've already added a great ESLint+Prettier conf and everything should be nicely formatted according to pre-defined rules.
But he won't take the time to install some plugins in his editor and I'm left with sometimes buggy, badly formatted code (the code I have to make changes with!) - that's while he several times have agreed that I can do what I want and that he even questions his own ways when looking at my changes which he calls by-the-book.
So why the motherfucking fuck do I keep working with him?

Well, he keeps paying so that's really nice - I haven't been able to properly execute the bigger tasks(which pays more) though, due to a lack of information or some badly written code I couldn't quite figure out how works (at a glance).

He also keeps talking about these new projects he wants to make.. he even has these freaking papers with descriptions and data-structures and we converse really good about these new awesome projects. He also likes cryptocurrencies(which is an interest of mine he has inflamed quite a bit) and lastly, he seems like a genuinely nice guy who I'd like to spend some time with even besides coding and work.

So now I stand here - stuck with people that make me feel like a demi-god or something because I use a git style-guide and ESLint+Prettier with the Airbnb style-guide.

What should I do? I'd really like some remote work and have a desperate need for money... So much so, that I might even have to pick up a fulltime job, in order to save my sorry ass - all because I like speaking with people who just like the thought of programming...

I'm actually quite lonely with my thoughts and they are the two only people I've had some sort of relationship with - who has an invested interest in programming/dev... I really like that, despite having to follow their thoughts as they surely can't follow mine.

Please be my friend or give me some paid work lol.

Also, I've been moving the last couple weeks - those weeks has been the most stressful of my life and have not contributed to my overall wellbeing and relations with people... It's good to be back at the computer again and be reading some devRant though!

Just completed a 24 hour hackathon at my school in which the 'best software' winner purely had mock ups of yet another mobile app and had no proof of concept. Meanwhile my team developed a scaling platform online that adapts to groups of user's trends to create optimal results.

I guess I keep misreading the definition of 'software' in the dictionary each morning. (RULE #8.2 - Software Engineers shall read the definition of the following phrases each morning excluding Saturday: software, heap, ego, scrum, algorithm, the documentation of C)

Day 2 of my new job done. Still going over courses and doing jack shit. Today the hiring manager told me to play a game. I have to buy gifts to the girl thats in my office (lol what) and she also has to buy gifts to me in return (wtf and im still getting paid to do nothing), the company will pay for these gifts with a limited budget

Both of us had to fill out a form such as hobbies movies food drinks and if we believe in santa claus

Told this to my hot blonde gf that i have to buy gifts for another girl and she got so jealous. She literally asked me "but what do u need her for" lmao

As she should. Love seeing her jealous and mad -- but only because she disrespected me several times in the year 2023. several times caught her lying to me. Rude behavior from time to time. Always bitching and complaining with the most idiotic phrases and I'll quote "i hate how some kids younger than me are just born in a wealthy multi millionaire billionaire family and they're automatically rich and successful and dont have to do anything in life anymore while i have to struggle and work and never be successful like they are. Im so jealous of them" she keeps complaining about this majority of the time. I got really fucking annoyed. Shes stupid as fuck

And then compared to listening to that dumb shit, i met this girl, who works in the backend part, smart, beautiful, doesnt fucking bitch and complain about such obnoxious bullshit we cant control, works a 9-5 and gets her shit together. She even told me today "u dont have to buy me any of those gifts I'd be really grateful if you can just buy me some tissues for my nose cause i got a small flu haha" she even got the jokes! that was such a humble request.

Now compare that to the behavior of my spoiled blonde gf. Tf?

Im not even complaining by working a 9-5. Im actually very surprised. Everyone in the company is very nice to me and polite. Everyone is very friendly. Im getting paid even by not working shit, just sitting and watching courses to pass a devops cloud certification that the company will also pay for me

Whats going on

Oh god why!?

Somehow I decided that it would be nice to have a proper spell&grammar checker in VS Code for me and my friends to write our reports in Latex with.

Decided I wanted multiple language support, so I turned to language tool.

GOD is this thing slow as a very unmotivated snail!

3s to process 9 phrases!? And then add one second to pack the results in a JSON string!? An option that I'm still very grateful exists, but why the fuck would you disallow line-by-line processing, which you expressly recommend for IDEs, and which cuts processing time by 30%, when JSON output is asked!?

Well, serves me right for thinking for even a second that a Java program could have decent performance...

This whole thing is starting to look like it's not gonna be nearly as fun ss I anticipated it to be.

Is it normal for "enterprise" software to have 14+ pages of known issues in the release notes, including issue descriptions that use phrases like "may lead to data corruption" and "may cause the cluster to crash"??

Anyone else watching the HD remaster of Star Trek: TNG on Netflix and thinking, "that Holodeck should have had some unit tests!"

Also: what's with the passwords being short spoken phrases that can be recorded and played back? Have they not heard of 2FA in Starfleet?

1/10 totally unwatchable (just kidding, I'm loving it)

Misused phrases by non-tech people I can't stand in 2020: "the new normal" & "telework". It's like how in 2018 everyone used "algorithm" like they knew what they were talking about. Same thing in 2007 with "accelerometer".

Just sharing a quick interview tip which helps alot.

Recruiter: Do you know this XYZ technology?

Candidate 1 : I don't know this technology, but if you GIVE ME A CHANCE, I will,
TRY AND LEARN.

Candidate 2 : I don't know this technology, but I am confident enough that I will be surely be able to learn and implement at a very quick pace.

Candidate 2 was hired. And why? Just check the formation of the response from both the candidates.

Remove the phrases like "give me a chance" and "will try" from your vocab in an interview, always form your responses in a positive and confident manner.

Both the above responses are quite the same, but just due to their different formation, candidate 2 succeeded!

I am so pissed at all the shit I have to do to publish a simple app on the playstore. Every 2 phrases is a threat to ban my account, and target audience, and privacy policy, all of this for an app that is absolutely not serious. And I am not even started with the Apple Store because I am too broke this month to throw $100.

Make Java
Pour Java
Drink Java
And then make Java.

Hey everyone, have you ever had a creative block right when you're up against a tight deadline? It's like your brain just decides to take a vacation at the worst possible time.

I had a project due yesterday and I was feeling pretty confident about it until I sat down to work on it. Suddenly, my mind was blank and I couldn't think of a single idea. I tried everything from taking a break to listening to music, but nothing seemed to work.

Eventually, I resorted to staring at the wall and hoping for some sort of divine inspiration. But all I got was a headache and a growing sense of panic as the deadline drew nearer.

Finally, in a fit of desperation, I started randomly typing words and phrases into my project, hoping that something would stick. And to my surprise, it did! I ended up with a project that was not only finished on time but also creatively interesting.

So, the lesson I learned from this experience is that sometimes you just need to let go of your expectations and dive headfirst into the unknown. Who knows, you might just surprise yourself with what you come up with.

The previous company was working for, or scrum team was so in sync, complementary and top gun that we could finish each other phrases. Dream team.

One of the most stupid phrases I hear again and again is "to not reinvent the wheel". Guess what, if no one had ever dared to take the first iteration of something, throw it out the window and start from scratch, we'd still be living in the stone age. If you're gonna use a library or a framework, fine, that's totally valid. Just make sure to actually understand the tools and code you're working on. People now tend to use these without knowing exactly what they do. And then once the original authors retire, no one knows what to do if something breaks. There can't be innovation if you don't try to reinvent. Don't shy away from writing from scratch sometimes.

A medical equipment that you can attach to employees and excruciatingly kill them as soon as they say things like (please note that the list is not limited and we should use a speech to text API to provide NLP states for the meaning - I want to catch all false negatives!! Kill them all!!!!):

- It works on my machine
- I tested it before!
- Haskell is a terrible language
- Big data and actionable insights
- why do you need unit tests here?
- I am a recruiter
- Anything that comes with the following construction as well: "I don't have anything against X, but..."

Any other suggestions of phrases?

Meditation. Or Awareness Meditation to be precise. It enables me to regain control over my mind, because I get distracted really fast. It really helps sorting things out, taking a step back and getting an overview where I actually am and if what I'm doing right now is actually relevant/has priority. I mostly find that it's not, so I have to return to the important stuff.

For those interested: meditation sounds weird, even obvious at first or you just don't get what's it all about. You actually have to practice meditation for a long time and study the concepts until you start to understand what all these phrases and talking means. Behind them lies great wisdom/huge amount of concepts which is easily underestimated. So don't be frustrated too much if you don't feel it working right away. Be assured I've been there too. Also don't start with meditations like 'just stop thinking or think nothing' because in my opinion this is highly complex shit and frustrating at first. Start with awareness or breathing meditations or even get an app to support your daily habit.

Not dev related so don't shoot me. If you like writing I figure you maybe might enjoy this and thought I'd share.

This is a section from an unfinished novel about 2050s America, set in a corporate subsidized mega-fevela sprawling across washington state, ruled by gangs and patrolled by the officers of a bankrupt nation suffering through austerity and on-and-off again spasms of mass civil conflict.

"Averice - Sex, drugs, and vice, in the downfall and dying days of america."

we lived in a smoke government, where everything was bullshit they blew up your ass so you could continue make believe while
you were bent over with your head in the hole in the ground you mistook for your ass to start with. And if you questioned it all, one bit, the mouth organ of the state would command
hate upon you, like an old latin curse, with a lexicon armada of phrases like "terrorist", and "troubled individual" to character assassinate you by drowning you in the humbling river of societies mass delusion giver, those two sweet letters "TV."

No, we were on the industry edge here, inventing better bait to catch what the state politiburo labelled 'bandits', all for what?

It had, in later years become fashionable to call those who didn't want to be stolen from any more, projected as it were, "thieves", in the same fashion as those in the middle east, defending
their homeland from foreigners, were labelled "insurgents." Tyranny had not so long ago grown a sense of irony it would seem.

And if you became enemy number one of the state, as thousands were, you would spend your days on the run, always looking over your
shoulder for the states vanish vans--black escalades with men in dark suits and mirrored glasses, like bugmen with shiny inhuman, and inscrutable eyes full of alien malice.

These were sordid summers, full of plastic playhouses where the cost of a days wages you could lay with a synthetic lover and pay away the days tense tax for a good lay, and forget your toils and troubles. And so many were kept in poverty because of easy habit and routine that they forget they were not living.

But for me, I had none of it. I preferred the troubled thing on the corner when I could coax one into my state issued sedan. She was sulky, with bright blonde curls, 19, maybe 20, with empty eyes, as if watching some invisible horizon. And in the glow of the blue neon, among the wet sidewalks, and trash, she leaned into my car. No words were exchanged. I nodded, and
she got into the car, a miniskirt, and slinky little handbag.

This was no more than state business with a bureau guy like me, and for her, little more than the prison trade taken public.

She huffed some powder and climbed spraddle leg onto my lap, grabbing me along my jawline, eyes locked onto the depths of my soul, and
for the next ten minutes as she moved on top of me, I was motionless property while my lusts became animal, and she, my cream cup.

After, I arrested her to the standard protests, but she new the game and quickly hushed. This was the verdant arithmetic of the state. I was awarded x amount of pension points for every criminal, no matter how, and it was no gentle hand, not the judge, not the jury, or the executioner of their will. It was the rigid touch of a long arm, dislocated from the law, and now, like frankenstein's monster, cobbled onto the mechanism of the state not unlike the manner of a combine harvester.

We were the owners of all by virtue of all we could take, and we took all we could get. The serial romeos of state police power, romancing
the unwilling citizenry with televised patriotism and five minute power talks at the beginning of the corporate day.

It could be paradise or a wasteland if we wanted it to be. And for a time it was.

Edit: devrant always breaks my formatting. sigh.

Looking at certain phrases or faces made with punctuation or symbols and just reading it as code

Fellow social skeptics, I need to vent. Flew back into RI for the family, not the various holidays. Fuck christmas. Fuck the societal norm that's been programmed into me and all of us. "Merry Christmas", "Happy holidays".

Yeah that doesn't play so well for my family after your brother dies the night of the 24th.

Even my best friends slip up with it, and even I'm regurgitating the phrases when I'm in public and need to be socially fucking acceptable. It's fascinating to me just how muscle-memory it is. Does that make it hollow in the first place? Is the well wishing the point and the sounds and message secondary?

Whatever it is, I've never felt comfortable in these social situations anyway. If I didn't have to travel to see my family, this would just be another day. So here's a big fuck-that to social obligations and gatherings. I just need a good intellectual conversation or a project to dive into.

You know you have been on devrant for far too long when your wife notices your vocabulary is changing! Words like fuck, cunt, dumb ass, and phrases like a pile of shit, crafty stacked together you call code ...start coming out of your mouth!

A customer coming up with new phrases to describe features:

"I remember in the future"

Phrases that you use at work that could also be used at a Christmas Party?

The Search Engine Guide for Developers.

The Top Ten:

StartPage: for technical information and unbiased spell checking phrases.

DuckDuckgo: for watching music videos at work.

All the rest: including "Bing Bong".

A single typo costing me US$280,000 was beyond my imaginations, but even the most minute errors could have apocalyptic consequences in crypto.
It all began with my trying to restore my Bitcoin wallet. I had properly backed up the seed phrase-so I thought-but when the time came to restore my wallet, it didn't work. Nothing worked. I started to be desperate, checking and double-checking my phrases. Where did I go wrong? After hours of frustration, it hit me—I had made a tiny mistake while writing down my seed phrase. A single misplaced character was now standing between me and my $280,000 in Bitcoin.
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After weeks of fruitless attempts, I was ready to give up. Then, on a last-ditch effort, I came across Digital Hack Recovery. At first, I was skeptical—how could a recovery firm be any different from the other services I had already tried? But after reading positive reviews and seeing their professional website, I decided to take a chance. Little did I know that this decision would change everything. The Digital Hack Recovery team's professionalism and effectiveness were the most notable aspects of the recovery procedure. They kept me informed about their progress at all times, so I was never in the dark. They kept me updated and communicated clearly if there were any difficulties or delays. After interacting with other companies that were either inattentive or evasive, it was a huge relief that I never had to follow up with them to get answers. The actual procedure went very well. While I had expected the recovery to take weeks, Digital Hack Recovery made quick work of it, using specialized software and expertise to access my wallet and restore my Bitcoin. The recovery expert was also incredibly patient, answering all my questions and making sure I understood each phase of the process. I felt like I was in good hands from start to finish. The email from Digital Hack Recovery that confirmed my Bitcoin had been successfully recovered was an absolute game-changer. It felt too good to be true, but when I logged into my wallet and saw my funds back in place, I couldn’t believe it. Every single Bitcoin was there, exactly where it should be. The sense of relief I felt was overwhelming. I had feared I would lose everything, but Digital Hack Recovery had restored my digital assets with professionalism and care. But it didn’t stop there. The team went above and beyond, providing additional security measures to ensure my wallet would remain safe from future issues. They offered valuable advice on how to better protect my Bitcoin and avoid similar problems going forward. It wasn’t just about getting my Bitcoin back—it was about setting me up for success in the future. If you're reading this and you find yourself in the same desperate situation I was in, I highly recommend Digital Hack Recovery. They have the tools, knowledge, and experience to recover your Bitcoin and other digital assets. They don't just talk the talk—they walk the walk. My experience with them was nothing short of life-changing, and I’ll forever be grateful for their help. Thanks to Digital Hack Recovery, my Bitcoin is back, and I couldn’t be more thankful. If you’re in need of professional, reliable recovery services, look no further. They truly delivered when no one else could. Email; digital hack recovery
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Thank you for your time to read because it will save many.

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Bitcoin wallet recovery is the process of retrieving access to a Bitcoin wallet when the user is locked out. Wallet access issues can occur for various reasons, such as lost private keys, forgotten passwords, or corrupted wallet files. For those who’ve lost access, reputable recovery services can be an invaluable asset, helping them safely regain control of their funds.

Century Web Recovery offers specialized recovery services that cover a broad range of wallet types and access issues, providing the expertise needed to retrieve lost assets and restore access to cryptocurrency wallets.

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Century Web Recovery has built a reputation as a reliable and secure recovery service provider since its establishment in 2017. Their team is composed of experienced blockchain analysts and cybersecurity experts who specialize in recovering wallet access in cases of forgotten passwords, corrupted files, or lost keys. Clients seeking to regain access to Bitcoin wallets can learn more about Century Web Recovery can help by contacting them through the details provided below.

Century Web Recovery Approaches Wallet Recovery
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Upon successful recovery, Century Web provides clients with guidance on how to safeguard their wallets and private keys to avoid future access issues. This education reinforces wallet security and fosters long-term peace of mind.
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To learn more or initiate the recovery process, clients can reach out to Century Web Recovery. If you’re locked out of your Bitcoin wallet, now is the time to restore access and regain control of your digital assets with a company that’s trusted since 2017. You can reach out to us by searching us on google century web recovery and get all our contact details.

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Over five years ago, I lost access to two of my crypto wallets, which I hadn’t used in years. These wallets contained valuable crypto assets, but I had completely forgotten the passwords, recovery phrases, and security questions. After trying everything I could think of to regain access, I was left feeling hopeless, thinking my assets were gone forever. That’s when I came across ( Trust Geeks Hack Expert ), and I can honestly say they changed the course of my life. Initially, I was skeptical. The idea of recovering forgotten crypto wallets seemed almost impossible. However, from the first moment I contacted the team, I felt a sense of hope. The staff was incredibly professional, empathetic, and genuinely dedicated to helping me recover my wallets. They took the time to fully understand my situation, offering clear explanations and reassuring me that they could assist. The recovery process wasn’t immediate, but it was methodical and thorough. The team worked diligently, guiding me through every step of the process and explaining things in a way I could easily understand. At times, I felt frustrated, especially given how long it had been since I last used the wallets. But the ( Trust Geeks Hack Expert ) team remained patient, offering constant support, and helping me stay focused on the end goal. They made sure I felt secure throughout the entire process, which provided me with the confidence I needed to continue. Finally, after several weeks of hard work, I regained access to my wallets. It was an overwhelming and life-changing moment. Not only did I recover my crypto assets, but I also felt an immense sense of relief and accomplishment. What I thought was lost forever was now back in my hands. Thanks to the ( Trust Geeks Hack Expert ) team, I’m incredibly thankful for ( Trust Geeks Hack Expert ) expertise and dedication.

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Last month, I encountered a frightening situation when the full amount of SUI I had stored in my Exodus wallet was suddenly sent to an unknown address. I hadn’t authorized any transactions, nor had I shared my private keys or seed phrases with anyone, so the entire event left me bewildered and anxious. The funds had simply disappeared, and I couldn’t figure out how or why this had happened. In an attempt to recover my funds, I reached out to several support services, starting with Exodus. I was hoping they might be able to track the transaction or shed some light on what went wrong. Unfortunately, their response was not helpful. They explained that they couldn’t trace blockchain transactions directly, and suggested that my private key might have been compromised, though I had no idea how that could have happened. Feeling frustrated, I decided to continue my search for assistance and stumbled upon LEEULTIMATEHACKER @ A O L . C O M
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. Initially, I was doubtful about their ability to help, but after reading positive reviews, I decided to give it a try. Their website explained that they specialize in tracing lost or stolen cryptocurrency and offered recovery services for cases like mine. I submitted a request with all the relevant details, including the unauthorized transaction and the address to which my SUI assets had been sent. To my surprise, the response from their team came quickly. They assured me that they could investigate the destination address and begin tracking it. Over the following days, they kept me updated on their progress and worked diligently to trace the flow of funds. They were able to identify the wallet associated with the destination address and gathered enough information to take further action. Thanks to their efforts, my funds were ultimately recovered. The team successfully reversed the unauthorized transaction, and I was provided with security recommendations to protect my wallet moving forward. The relief I felt upon recovering my SUI was immense, and I couldn’t have done it without the help of Lee Ultimate Hacker. This incident taught me valuable lessons about the importance of safeguarding my crypto assets and being cautious with digital wallets. I'm extremely grateful for the support I received, as without Lee Ultimate Hacker, I would likely have lost my funds for good.

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It was one of those nights: scrolling through crypto Twitter, keeping up to date with the markets, and laughing at the memes. That's when a thread about common wallet screwups came up. Guys were sharing their worst crypto nightmares-forgotten passwords, lost seed phrases, hacks, and software glitches. I read through it, thinking, "Yikes, that sucks… glad that's not me." A few hours later, I became the next horror story. I had been meaning to update my wallet software for a while, and with the thread fresh in my mind, I figured, why not now? I followed the update instructions carefully, or so I thought. But the moment this update finished, I tried to log in, and boom—access denied. I stared at the screen, my heart pounding. I checked my password again, and again, and once more. Nothing. I tried restarting my laptop. Nothing still. Then it hit me-something had gone horribly wrong, and I was locked out of my wallet. In there was $250,000 worth of Bitcoin. Immediately, panic set in. I had done everything right! How could an update just shut me out? I searched online for solutions, and the more I read, the more hopeless it sounded. That's when I remembered the thread. Someone had tagged SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL . I had nothing to lose, so I looked up their contact information and reached out. Within minutes, I got a response, and their team was so calm, professional, and reassuringly incredible. They asked for the details of my situation and straightaway started their assessment. Days passed, really nervous ones, while SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL kept updating me step by step. Their expertise was unreal. They unraveled the mess that the update had created, bypassed the login issue, and restored my access. As I finally saw my balance sitting safely in my wallet again, I almost fainted with relief. It served as a lesson to me that I will carry for the rest of my life: updates can be dangerous, and Twitter is good for more than just memes. If I hadn't seen that thread, I might have never found SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL in time. If you ever find yourself in some crypto nightmare, don't waste your time panicking. Just call SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL . They don't only fix problems; they save financial futures.
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It was one of those nights: scrolling through crypto Twitter, keeping up to date with the markets, and laughing at the memes. That's when a thread about common wallet screwups came up. Guys were sharing their worst crypto nightmares-forgotten passwords, lost seed phrases, hacks, and software glitches. I read through it, thinking, "Yikes, that sucks… glad that's not me." A few hours later, I became the next horror story. I had been meaning to update my wallet software for a while, and with the thread fresh in my mind, I figured, why not now? I followed the update instructions carefully, or so I thought. But the moment this update finished, I tried to log in, and boom—access denied. I stared at the screen, my heart pounding. I checked my password again, and again, and once more. Nothing. I tried restarting my laptop. Nothing still. Then it hit me-something had gone horribly wrong, and I was locked out of my wallet. In there was $250,000 worth of Bitcoin. Immediately, panic set in. I had done everything right! How could an update just shut me out? I searched online for solutions, and the more I read, the more hopeless it sounded. That's when I remembered the thread. Someone had tagged SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL . I had nothing to lose, so I looked up their contact information and reached out. Within minutes, I got a response, and their team was so calm, professional, and reassuringly incredible. They asked for the details of my situation and straightaway started their assessment. Days passed, really nervous ones, while SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL kept updating me step by step. Their expertise was unreal. They unraveled the mess that the update had created, bypassed the login issue, and restored my access. As I finally saw my balance sitting safely in my wallet again, I almost fainted with relief. It served as a lesson to me that I will carry for the rest of my life: updates can be dangerous, and Twitter is good for more than just memes. If I hadn't seen that thread, I might have never found SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL in time. If you ever find yourself in some crypto nightmare, don't waste your time panicking. Just call SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL . They don't only fix problems; they save financial futures.
CONTACT INFO ABOUT THE COMPANY
WhatsApp:+1 (971) 487-3538
Telegram:+1 (581) 286-8092
Email: spartantech (@) cyber services . com OR support (@) spartantechgroupretrieval . o r g
Website: h t t p s : / / spartantechgroupretrieval . o r g

One night, deep within one of those YouTube rabbit holes-you know, the ones where you progress from video to video until you already can't remember what you were searching for-well, I found myself stuck in crypto horror stories. I have watched people share how they lost access to their Bitcoin wallets, be it through hacks, forgotten passwords, glitches in software, or mislaid seed phrases. Some of the stupid mistakes made me laugh; others were devastating losses. At no point did I think I would be the next story. Literally the next morning, I tried to get to my wallet like usual, but found myself shut out. First, I assumed it was some sort of minor typo, but after multiple attempts-anything I could possibly do with the password-I realized that something had gone very wrong. $400,000 in Bitcoin was inside that wallet. I tried not to panic. Instead, I went back over my steps, checked my saved credentials, even restarted my device. Nothing worked. The laughter from last night's videos felt like a cruel joke now. This wasn't funny anymore. It was then that I remembered: One of the videos on YouTube spoke about Cranix Ethical Solutions Haven. It was some dude who lost his crypto in pretty similar circumstances. He swore on their expertise; I was out of options and reached out to them. From the very moment I contacted them, their staff was professional, patient, and very knowledgeable indeed. I told them my case, and then they just went ahead and introduced me to the plan. They reassured me that they have dealt with cases similar to this-and that I wasn't doomed as I felt. Over the course of a few days, they worked on meticulously analyzing all security layers around my wallet, checking for probable failure points, and reconstructing lost credentials with accuracy and expertise. Then came the call that changed everything: “Your funds are safe. You’re back in.” I can’t even put into words the relief I felt at that moment. Cranix Ethical Solutions Haven didn’t just restore my wallet—they restored my sanity. I walked away from this experience with two important lessons:
1. Never, ever neglect a wallet backup.
2. If disaster strikes, Cranix Ethical Solutions Haven is the only name you need to remember.
If you're reading this and thinking, "That would never happen to me," I used to think the same thing. Until it did.
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One night, deep within one of those YouTube rabbit holes-you know, the ones where you progress from video to video until you already can't remember what you were searching for-well, I found myself stuck in crypto horror stories. I have watched people share how they lost access to their Bitcoin wallets, be it through hacks, forgotten passwords, glitches in software, or mislaid seed phrases. Some of the stupid mistakes made me laugh; others were devastating losses. At no point did I think I would be the next story. Literally the next morning, I tried to get to my wallet like usual, but found myself shut out. First, I assumed it was some sort of minor typo, but after multiple attempts-anything I could possibly do with the password-I realized that something had gone very wrong. $400,000 in Bitcoin was inside that wallet. I tried not to panic. Instead, I went back over my steps, checked my saved credentials, even restarted my device. Nothing worked. The laughter from last night's videos felt like a cruel joke now. This wasn't funny anymore. It was then that I remembered: One of the videos on YouTube spoke about WIZARD WEB RECOVERY SERVICES . It was some dude who lost his crypto in pretty similar circumstances. He swore on their expertise; I was out of options and reached out to them. From the very moment I contacted them, their staff was professional, patient, and very knowledgeable indeed. I told them my case, and then they just went ahead and introduced me to the plan. They reassured me that they have dealt with cases similar to this-and that I wasn't doomed as I felt. Over the course of a few days, they worked on meticulously analyzing all security layers around my wallet, checking for probable failure points, and reconstructing lost credentials with accuracy and expertise. Then came the call that changed everything: “Y didn’t just restore my wallet—they restored my sanity. I walked away from this exodus funds are safe. You’re back in.” I can’t even put into words the relief I felt at that moment. WIZARD WEB RECOVERY SERVICES patience with two important lessons:
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I had never thought that a read passing would one day save me from financial ruin. I was just going through some crypto blogs that evening to see security tips. I stumbled upon a pretty personal post of someone who had lost access to his Bitcoin wallet. He simply made the mistake of forgetting his password, and it had gone to catastrophic ends.
It was not the story itself that caught my attention but how it ended. The writer had finally found this company called Salvage Asset Recovery, which had successfully returned their funds to them. Their words were full of relief and gratitude toward the team that got them out of that troublesome situation.
I thought, That's terrible. But that won't happen to me. I was wrong.
A few weeks later, I had the same nightmare. I had set up a complex passphrase for my crypto wallet, one I was sure I would never forget. Fast-forward some time later, life got busy, and when the time came to access my funds, I drew a complete blank. However much I tried different combinations, none worked.
I stared down at my wallet, holding a cool $150,000 in Bitcoin that was now completely unreachable to me. Recovery phrases meant absolutely nothing because the encryption on it had changed some months prior as a measure to further beef up security; ironically, that action had managed to lock me out of my money.
It was then that the blog post came to my mind.
I searched frantically for it, found the name Salvage Asset Recovery, and reached out immediately. From the first message, their team was calm, professional, and reassuring. They explained their process step by step, analyzing my wallet's encryption and working tirelessly to regain access.
Days passed, and my anxiety only grew—until I got the call that changed everything. They had cracked my forgotten passphrase. My $150,000 was back in my hands.
I was so relieved. But more than just getting my money back, Salvage Asset Recovery structured a more secure yet workable system for the future.
That blog had undersold their brilliance-these people are lifesavers. Without them, my money would have been locked away forever.
Now, I tell everyone in my crypto circles: if you ever get locked out of your wallet, there is only one name that you need to remember: Salvage Asset Recovery. Reach Out to them via --
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