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Search - "suits"
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Coworker wrote a nice package and put it on Github, to share with other departments.
I link his package on our company Slack, mentioning a team, with text "What do you think of this one? Is it usable for you guys?"
Next thing I know I have to explain to an executive why I'm "posting pictures of seductive cartoon girls in company chat with disrespectful commentary"
It linked the Github profile picture of the developer in Slack. A fully clothed anime girl, nothing particularly lewd about it.
But I like stabbing back a bit, and confusing the fuck out of people in suits:
"Hate to say it, but a good majority of all the code the company runs on, is written by people known as weebs, who use their so called waifus as their GitHub profile picture. It is very common for open source Javascript packages, but since we recruited 50 extra devs it now also happens internally. It's not my thing either sir, but I'm afraid we have to embrace it... "
"But what about our female devs? What about Joanna, she's in your team? We have to think of diversity! Our investors are really in to diversity, we can't have a bro culture!"
"Sir, with all due respect, we have super diverse teams without even trying. The problem is... they're all millennials. They grew up on weird memes... and are probably ten steps further in embracing diversity compared to the rest of the company."
"Also, Joanna is the one who drew this particular picture. She's charging a €15 commission for profile pictures... Do you want one of your fursona, sir?"
"What is that?"
"Uh... nevermind. Let's... let's not go there"48 -
1. I join a company.
2. I get deeply involved in "how to run the company", and get nice compliments from both coworkers & management about my skills in conveying startup/scaleup advice & necessities to upper management.
3. With my ego inflated through all the sweet talk, I think "ah, what the hell, let's do this again", and I accept a Lead/CTO promotion. I have to join board meetings, write reports on quarterly plans and progress.
4. I get unhappy/stressed/burned-out because I really just want to be a developer, not a manager/executive.
5. Upper management understands, I give up my lead position, lock myself back into my coding cave.
6. I get annoyed because the requirements I receive become more and more disconnected from reality, half of the teams seem to have decided to stop using agile/scrum, the testing pipeline breaks all the time, I get an updated labor contract from HR by mail which smells like charred flesh, etc
7. The annoyances become too much to do ANY work. I yell at the other devs outside of the entrance of my cave. There is no answer, only a few painful moans and sighs.
8. I emerge from my cave. The city has turned into a desolate wasteland. The office is a burning ruin, the air sharp and heavy with black soot. Disemboweled corpses of developers litter the poisoned soil.
Product Managers dressed in stained ripped suits scream at each other while they try to reinforce concrete barricades with scotch tape and post-its. *THUMP* Something enormous is trying to break through. "Thank God, bittersweet, you're still alive! The stakeholders! They have mutated! We couldn't meet the promised deadlines! We've lost the whole mobile app department, and that kid there is the last of the backenders and he's only an intern! You're here to save us, right? RIGHT?".
In the corner, between the overflowing coffee machine and a withered cactus, a young boy has collapsed onto the floor. His face is covered in moldy coffee grounds, clasping on to his closed macbook for dear life, wide-open eyes staring into the void, mumbling: "didn't backup the database, and It's all gone" over and over.
A severely dented black Tesla with a dragging loose bumper breaks through the dried up vertical herb garden and the smoothiebar, and comes to a halt against the beanbags in a big cloud of styrofoam balls.
The CEO limps out, leaking blood all over the upholstery. He yells to the COO: "The datacenter is completely flooded with sewage! I saved the backup tapes though", holding a large nest of tangled black magnetic tape mixed with clumps of mud above his head.
9. I collect my outstanding salary and sell any rewarded options/shares for a low dumping price, take a 5 month holiday, and ask a recruiter about opportunities in a different city.14 -
Wrote my friend Sam a letter when I was still working in support. I think it still holds up today.
---
Dear Sam,
I understand that you will join us in our overseas office. Congratulations on landing that job. It’s good steady work. I’ve been doing it for the last ten years.
Your still young so maybe I can give you some little wisdom that will help you in your working years to come.
Let me begin by shedding some light on phone calls.
I try. I really do try Sam. But it is getting so hard for me to hold back the rage that builds up during certain phone calls. Especially the ‘Sorry, I just don’t know anything about computers! -giggle-’ ones.
Those are the times that I have no access to what they see. I’ve no team-viewer, can not take over that screen in any other way. And why-oh-why can I not take over that terminal session dear Sam? It’s because the caller can not double-click an icon or find a terminal session number.
And what is the reason for this? Because they ‘just don’t know anything about computers! -giggle-’. This is a sort of get-out-of-jail-free card. Beware of these callers Sam.
There is nothing so nerve-wrecking then finding yourself at the mercy of people describing Internet Explorer (do not even get me started) as ‘the big ‘E’, if they use Chrome for their webmail then they most likely will say ‘Mail’ if they mean Chrome. There is no logic Sam. That is just the way these people work.
They will suck all enjoyment out of your work. They will make you want to hunt them down in dark office hallways and show them your tears Sam. Because cry you will.
Sure, I understand that not everyone can be tech savvy. Why, if everyone would be, where would that leave us? No. I love the technologically challenged. They put the fiber in my internet. They make me LOL for real. After the initial anger subsides anyway.
But just below that well-willing folk, on the other side of that border… there they dwell: Management.
Nice cars, suits and iphones Sam. First thing a new manager will require is a brand spanking new business-card. It will hold his/her new title. Then an iphone or overpriced android model will follow suit.
Then they will barge into your office, holding it like it’s the next best thing since sliced bread.
Any manager will automatically assume that you will drop anything you are doing at the present moment to acknowledge the presence of greatness. Failing to do so will result in awkward yet fulfilling situations. I recommend that you do not take your hands of the keyboard and give only the slightest of nods after 5 minutes of complete silence and glaring.
Well… you feel the glare. You do not glare yourself. You do not break eye-contact with the monitor. It does not even matter if you are typing for real or not. I once clicked away happily for 5 minutes. I just typed ‘he is still there’ over and over again. Do not break down Sam. This moment will decide your relationship with this individual.
After the nod there will be a flood of words aimed in your general direction. You can disregard anything that is said. It boils down to ‘can not operate device’.
You then take the device from this person and put it next to you on your desk. You’ll ask the name of this simpleton, write it down on a sticky-note, slap that on the phone. Then you’ll write a random date in the not so near future on another sticky and hand that to the bewildered person in front of you.
It will usually utter some incoherent words about ‘needing, time or but’ (I find that ‘but’is a word they like. They tend to use it three or four times consecutive before you usher them through the door).
Now you’ve won Sam. Well… not really. But it will feel good, I can guarantee that.
This must do for now. A new suit is glaring at me for the last five minutes.
Felt good to do something productive with this time.
Take care,
Baltasar
P.s. I just noticed that there is some foam around his mouth. So if you encounter this, don’t worry: it seems to be perfectly normal.13 -
'Lets make a security blog, sounds awesome!'
Yeah the idea is awesome, domain name is setup and the server is already running.
Choosing a CMS is proving to be the biggest challenge right now, few hours of searching and still can't find anything that suits my needs 😅57 -
Last teacher rant from me and this one is about: my mentor.
Let's call him Bob.
He was a person who'd always be ready to help you out, did some lessons on bullying and the effects of it, stood by me many times when I'd have hard times with something I'd trouble and one of the most important things, he had a very good sense of humor!
Also, since I always wore a suit (still do), he introduced 'FaF' day, aka, Fancy as Fuck day. Every Wednesday the guys who wanted to would come in suits.
Yup, he got me through loads of stuff, miss that guy :)7 -
I'd love to finish a few projects I'm currently working on:
- An add-on which gives a middle finger to websites which use services/products ran by companies which are known to be integrated within the biggest mass surveillance system ever created (US powered). Not because just fuck those websites but because I think (@PonySlaystation came up with this idea) that its only fair that people get to know which websites 'sell them out'. Oh and "but not everyone cares about that" - you don't HAVE to install the addon.
(will be open sourced)
- Notes service with a fun thing.
- PHP based server/website/whateverthefuckyouwant monitoring system which is pretty much module based and works with json files as configuration. (kinda works but still loads of bugs to solve and gotta improve the module system a lot).
(will be open sourced)
- PHP based pihole alternative which suits my needs (will be open sourced)
- Forgot one 😅14 -
I know a guy who writes everything in Haskell.
He started learning it because his parents got him into a math school (and math schools in Russia use either Python or Haskell), he liked it, but later he dropped out. Today, apart from Haskell, he only really knows HTML and CSS, and maybe some JavaScript.
He writes backend AND frontend in Haskell and uses some kind of JRPC stuff to manage all that. He told me that his life is a pure heaven. He IS RELEVANT (!!!!!!), his apps always run without bugs (because in Haskell you can mathematically prove that there are no bugs), they are performant, faster than C (because you can't write a complex enough app in C that will be as efficient as compiled Haskell, because it's you vs compiler). He doesn't have any problems in life whatsoever. He never got burned out, he never got anxiety or depression. He doesn't act pretentiously and stuff, he's just a normal person who rarely even mentions that he can program.
Science says it can't be done! You can't only know Haskell and be a relevant software engineer! You know what, he didn't _know_ it was impossible. He's like that grandpa from a meme, he got Alzheimers, but because of it he forgot that he had Alzheimers, and now remembers everything.
The fun thing is that he looks like a typical gopnik, with adidas suits and stuff.
What a gem of a person.26 -
Okay lets write this before i go mad...
I'm one of those guys who says "use the os which suits you the most, or you're most familiar with", and i'v always been a windows guy, didn't really have any reason to use linux, because for school stuff, or programming (java and android and c) windows was great enough...
BUT MOTHERF@CKERS at microsoft, i'v had enough...
First my handheld computer goes nuts, because windows is eating 80% of processor, and if i fix it, then some other kind of windows related thing eats up that much, and you know what? I've been okay with that, because thats only a handheld computer, but boy, didn't my main computer start to do the same?!?
I cannot do anything, basically i start something trivial up (by trivial i mean trivial, like idk, a texteditor not even a browser, or an ide or anything that would take a bit of more ram) and my computer cant do shit....
I'm so mad.... Currently installing elemantary os... F@ck this shit i'm out...
(And lets not forget the hours of 'updates' which dont do shit....)13 -
Question for the senior front end web developer here:
If you guys got a project (big or small), do you guys usually:
1. Get a template from another website and modify or style it to suits your need, or
2. Build it from scratch?
This applies to website like devrant, or swag store32 -
Me: Anytime 9am - 12 my time suits me fine.
Him: Sure, noon our time suits us fine.
Me: *talking to myself* I said no later than 12 my time, theres a 2 hour difference. FFS, uh, I'll have to cancel this, move that around, skip that, ARGH!!! fucking hell jackass ... FINE!!!
...
Him: That calendar invite is for 4pm our time, thats a little too late for us.
Me: ...... but they are 2 ..... 2 hours ahead so ..... oh, thats 10am my time .... oh shit2 -
Once upon a time, there were a restaurant called "iEat.tech.com".
It was a small single-location place, where the sufficient number of patrons could be served by the cozy number of employees.
In fact, headcount was so lean that the cook was also the one who washed all the dishes.
But then came the suits and their "VC"(daddy) money and scaled shit up.
Soon, there were so many patrons that the dishes started to pile up the sink, never washed.
"We need someone to wash the dishes!" said the cook
"Fuck you, you wash the dishes!" said the s*its
Naturally, the cook left soon after.
The s*its had a problem now. They could not replace the cook fast enough - all other cooks were either young, inexperienced and mediocre (but did clean the dishes), or refused to waste their time on the sink.
So the suits did what $*its always do - they got a fucking consultant. Who told them to get a fucking dishwashing machine and billed them the GDP of Ireland.
The s*is, of course, did not want to buy a dishwashing machine. "Our fucking process is too fucking disruptive for us to use a fucking store-bought mass-produced metal servant!" (s*its don't know what "machines" are. For them, it's all in terms of "servants", employees and machines alike).
So the s*its hired an engineer to "solve the fucking dish problem, once and for all".
The engineer quickly started measuring and drawing and calculating. The engineer was about to prepare a budget when the s*its came screaming "What the fuck are you doing? There is a fucking pile of dishes in the sink!"
The engineer replied that "I'm designing the machine!", to what the s*its responded "don't bring me fucking problems, bring me solutions!" (or some other s*it blabber)
So the engineer quickly designed an efficient dishwashing assembly line to be done in half the time most people would. And then went back to designing the machine.
But the s*its were having none of it. They kept expanding and expanding and doing what they could so that the engineer never had a moment to work on the machine. They dit it so surreptitiously that no one barely even noticed, but one day they were paying a team of engineers to be fucking human dishwashers.
Now replace "dishes" with "Jira tickets" or "quick fixes" or "tiny changes" and fix other terms accordingly.
Fucking s*its.10 -
I attended a data science meetup recently. There were many suits walking around the corridors because of some startup night taking place at the same time.
After some time a guy appeared infront of me, telling me he was afraid at first that this was a meetup for suits only. Until he saw all the dev and rock stickers on my notebook. He was reliefed that there was some nerd at least.
He asked what I was doing so I told him about my startup about optimization of heat generation plants jada jada. I asked him back.
He replied, "Well, I'm also part of some small startup. Among the things we develop processors and stuff. It's called Intel."
Well dude, that was nicely played. I had a lot of fun that evening.5 -
!rant
Linux vs Microsoft
Well, this war is certainly one of the oldest. IMO,
Linux - great for automating stuff, free, and customisable.
Windows - user friendly, softwares much more easily available, much easier to use.
Frankly, I have tried using Linux a lot of times, but never liked it one bit. I am a GUI fan and hate to type commands for every little thing. Plus installing Ubuntu wiped out my disk once and I lost all my school memories ( this was in 2008, I didn't know much about backups, was quite young) ,so I am quite vary of it. I just don't feel it to be intuitive. Just to do a simple task, I loathe to learn difficult commands, and just read the syntax.
However, I have no bias against people who use Linux.
It is like religion, live and let live, follow whatever suits you.
On devrant, why's there so much hate for Windows? Because it is paid? Because it has updates? So what!
I never had a problem with it, I update once a month, takes 10 mins. If you set up your active hours correctly, it works great, you can disable updates also. Windows 10 is highly stable. It is paid, but in my country almost all laptops come with windows preinstalled. The OS-less laptops are about $10 cheaper, which is not that much to freak about.
Would love to hear your views and logical arguments.
Please be polite.35 -
Remember Apple's initiative to scan photos on user's devices to find child pornography?
Today I finally decided to research this.
The evidence is conflicting.
For context, the database of prohibited material is called CSAM (child sexual abuse material).
“If it finds any CSAM, it will report the user to law enforcement.”
— Futurism
“Apple said neither feature would compromise the security of private communications or notify police.”
— NPR
CSAM initiative is dead. It won't scan photos in iCloud. It won't scan photos on your device. It will be a feature that only works in some countries, only on children's devices, and it will be opt-in. It will only work for iMessage attachments.
This is what Apple actually said at https://www.apple.com/child-safety:
- “Features available in Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Netherlands, New Zealand, South Korea, Spain, Sweden, UK, and U.S.”
- “The Messages app includes tools to warn children when receiving or sending photos that contain nudity. These features are not enabled by default. If parents opt in, these warnings will be turned on for the child accounts in their Family Sharing plan.”
News outlets telling people they will be automatically reported to authorities, and then telling there can be false-positives is a classic example of fearmongering. I hate this. Remember, anger and fear are the most marketable emotions. They make you click. News are and will always be worded to cause these emotions — it brings in money.
When presented with good news, people think they're not being told the truth. When presented with bad news, even when they're made up, people think it's the truth that's being hidden from them. This is how news works.
Now, a HUGE but:
Apple is a multi-billion dollar corporation. There is no such thing as good billionaires. Corporations will always wait for chances to invade privacy. It's like boiling the frog — one tiny measure here, one there, and just like this, step by step, they will eliminate the privacy completely. It's in their interest to have all the data about you. It brings control.
This is not the first time Apple tries to do shit like this, and it definitely won't be the last. You have to keep an eye on your privacy. If you want your privacy in the digital age, it's necessary to fight back. If you live in Europe, take the action and vote for initiatives that oppose corporate tyranny and privacy invasions.
Privacy on the internet is one thing, but scanning people's devices is a whole another thing. This is unacceptable no matter the rationale behind it. Expect more measures like that in the near future.
Research Linux. Find a distro that suits you. The notion that you can't switch because of apps/UI/etc. may be dictated by our brain's tendency to conserve energy and avoid the change.
Take a look at mobile distros like Graphene OS and LineageOS. The former only supports Pixel devices, the latter supports a wide range of devices including OnePlus and Xiaomi. They'll have FAR better privacy than iPhones.
Consider switching. It's easier than you think. Yes, it's me who's saying this. I do and will always protect people/companies from unjust criticism, and I consider myself an Apple fangirl for personal reasons related to my childhood, yet I won't fight blindly. CSAM initiative is a valid criticism, and there's nothing preventing me from saying this is unacceptable, and Apple deserves the backlash they got.11 -
All managers on LinkedIn are just 14 year olds trapped in bodies wearing fancy suits. Change my mind.14
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The sales and business team at my office really look down at the devs. Just because we don't dress in fancy suits doesn't mean we are any less important that those asshats.
In fact we are probably a hell of a lot more useful since they cant land any sales since they barely have any idea what they are selling and the company is rapidly going under.
To give you an idea :
We recently changed office and one of them asked if they had had to be in the same workspace as the developers again?
Why do we need them?
Cant we outsource their jobs ?
Some of them dont even answer when you bid them good morning
And one douche bag even brought his bluetooth radio and refuses to use headphones , he keeps playing shitty music and disturbing us.
The company is kinda fractured and there is poor chain of command, so there is little we can do, telling dev management is fruitless he has no authority over the guy
And the business manager simply said oh you dont like good music then walked off.10 -
>Be me
>At company party
>Doesnt now anyone since I only see >around 20 people
>Everyone in Fancy suits
>except me since i just got there from >school
>Looks up bluetooth devices
>Sees all the Speakers are linked to 1 >command center
>Looks up playing song
>Connect to Command center via >bluetooth
>Instantly play song so that no one notices
>thisiswherethefunbegins.jpg
>goes to bathroom
>Plays another song
>Hear waitresses talking about the song >randomly changing
>Get out of Party room
>Still connected
>Fucks party up
>Plays random songs that have nothing in >with Theme of party
>*Suddenly Earrape*
>*Runs*10 -
Every fucking time, I apply for a role that suits, NOT SOME SUPER SENIOR ROLE THAT REQUIRES HUGE FUCKING EXPERIENCE, I get an email "After careful consideration, we've decided not to move on" BITCH YOU HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED WHAT YOU HAVE "CAREFULLY" CONSIDERED, I HAVENT APPLIED FOR SOME SPECIAL SPACE SCIENTIST POSITION YA CUNT.10
-
My fellow coworker dev just sent a staging site link to our CFO to review some new functionality...
CFO clicks on our corporate HQ link in coworker's email signature instead and berates coworker for sending him the wrong link...
This person is somewhat largely in charge of making decisions that affect our digital marketing, website budgets, and strategy.
I can't make this shit up.6 -
So after coding the first iteration of a big project on some whack office supplied logitech keyboard I rewarded myself with a new proper keyboard that suits my character. I am as happy as a kid on Christmas :)
Vortex Race 3 Brown Cherry MX15 -
Well, guess I'm eating my shoe it seems .-.
(Trying to get font rendering working in SDL2 and for whatever reason, loading a direct TTF file works but as soon as I load it into RWops and pass to SDL, it suits the bed)9 -
Just updated my LinkedIn summary, included "Design Thinking", "bleeding edge technologies" and "innovation-driven"...
What other phrases can you think of that only exist to play Buzzword-Bullshit-Bingo? :D5 -
Here's a real tip for people new to the industry.
It's one of those things that's been said over and over again but very few can really seem to employ. I suggest you learn it /well/.
You are not your code. Criticisms of your code, ideas, or your thought processes, is not a criticism of YOU. You absolutely cannot take criticisms of your work personally.
We are engineers. We strive to seek the best solution at all times.
If someone has found a problem with your code or with an idea or whatnot, it is coming from a place of "this is not the best solution", NOT "you're an idiot".
It's coming from a place of "I'm closing this PR because it is not a change I feel suits this project", NOT "I'm closing this PR because it's coming from a woman".
It's coming from a place of "This feature request is ridiculous/this bug is not actually a bug", NOT "you're a fucking idiot, fuck you".
It's coming from a place of "I've already had to address this in a number of issues before and it's eaten up a considerable amount of my time already", NOT "I don't even know you and this I don't have time for a nobody".
You do not get to be bitchy to maintainers because they denied your request. It's not a reflection of you at all. But if you're arguing with someone who has maintained a piece of code for almost a decade, and they're telling you something authoritative, believe them. They're probably smarter than you on this subject. They've probably thought about it more. They've probably seen their code used in many different places. They have more experience than you with that codebase in almost all cases.
Believe me, if we cared about who was behind all of the issues, pull requests, etc. we get, we'd get NOTHING done. Stop taking shit personally. It's a skill, not a defense mechanism. Nobody has the time to sugar coat every little thing.
Let's normalize directness and stop wasting time during technical discussions into opportunities for ego-stroking and circle-jerking and back-patting.8 -
Today, I had an interview with a development company that they request all developers to wear suits for work! From 10 to 7 o'clock, and no stable income salary, they work based on projects LOL!13
-
This is adorable
The packages name is oneko, you can even set colours or speed, or make it an... Anime girl?
Whatever suits you best, I guess
Almost forgot, it's an actual animated cat that's running after the mouse22 -
Have to write a 1,000-1,300 word paper on the top trends of my chosen industry. I am therefore researching crimes using computers and other technology. I'm loving the research.
However, I have no idea how to tone my research down so I don't end up (back) on a list for odd Internet searches, and I don't think I want to be on a international list.
Tips for researching the hell out of this topic without flagging Big Brother and ending up with suits at my door (again)?16 -
Can someone please explain to me the purpose of developers wearing formal clothing ?? Some companies in my country also require ties and suits. Why ??10
-
So I have to fix this motherfucking insane regex with over 1k chars in it ...
This fucking shit is not maintainable and there are no comments or any other sort of documentation.
And this bullshit was not build via code so that bastard wasted weeks of time to develop that shitty expression by hand on a online regex tester website.
So I have 3 options:
1. Reverse engineer everything and waste my precious time
2. Delete that shit, analyze the input and write the regex via code instead of creating it by hand
3. Look for that "super duper clever" dev and break his legs.
I think option 3 suits me best.
And for you dear reader, if you are regexphile, enjoy this gigantc regex with >16k chars:
http://madore.org/~david/weblog/...7 -
How the F do ppl manage to wear suits all day in the middle of summer without sweating all over themselves?8
-
IBM decided to change the EOL of CentOS 8 from 2029 to 2021, then continue CentOS as useless RR testbed. What a nice attempt at forcing users into the paid RedHat version.
That's a risky move because Rocky Linux is already gearing up to replace CentOS, and the whole RedHat ecosystem could bleed out to Ubuntu, Suse, and Debian LTS. Well done, suits.16 -
Just going to join in on the new Linux CoC with a small opinion, Linus shouldn't have stepped aside, development doesn't need to be 100% serious...
Remember when the term rockstar developer existed?
We got DOOM, quake and Wolfenstein, changing the face of gaming for the better, sure some things were of questionable standings with attitude but if all of us have to be polite and 100% by the book we will just end up with more programmers in suits and more EA like companies...
Now before the hate, this is an opinion and unfortunately the way devrant is at the moment that probably means fuck all and I'm just pissing in the wind ¯\_(ツ)_/¯2 -
Company top execs: "We need to optimize our costs and reduce our expenditure by x€ to keep the profit margin at acceptable levels for the shareholders"
YOU ARE PUSHING OUT SHIT PRODUCTS DAY IN AND DAY OUT THAT YOU FUCKING SUITS THINK WILL BE THE NEXT BIG THING BUT NOONE REALLY WANTS OR NEEDS. WE ALREADY HAVE A TON OF THOSE BORN-DEAD SHITCAKES HANGING AROUND ABD NEW ONES ARE ALREADY BEING PREPARED FOR LAUNCH.
"OPTIMIZE COSTS"? HOW ABOUT YOU STOP PRODUCING SHIT AND STICK TO YOUR FUCKING CORE BUSINESS MODEL!!!
"OPTIMIZE COSTS"? WE HAVE A ZERG OF OLD FUCKS, WHO ARE STILL WAITING FOR THE FUCKING SMS TO START THE NEXT TECH REVOLUTION, ON OUR PAYROLL. ALL THEY FUCKING DO IS PLAY SUDOKU IN THE KITCHEN AND DISCUSS TECHNIQUES ON HOW TO RAISE GOATS!!!
"NO MONEY TO GIVE A PAYRISE TO DEVELOPERS"? WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCKING GET RID OF THE USELESS DUDES BASICALLY DOING THEIR TENURE AND CLOSE SOME OF THESE FUCKTARDED PRODUCTS THAT 4 PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE FUCKING COMPANY USE BUT NEED A TEAM OF FUCKING 20 TO MAINTAIN! NO!!! THEY WILL NOT BE THE NEXT BIG THING! NO!!! ANYTHING YOU SHITCAKES WHO THINK MOBILE APPS IS THE "NEW EMERGING MARKET" WILL EVER CREATE THE NEXT FUCKING BIG THING!!!!!
STICK TO YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS AND STOP CREATING USELESS SHIT THATS MAADE BY FUCKING USELESS PEOPLE!!!!
FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! -
!rant
Had a meeting with the head of my department concerning the status of many of our current projects. Them projects are huge and it is 2 dedicated devs(me and the lead) working on them whilst training our CMS admin in development to help out(dude is talented af and really digs programming) and my manager was so worried about what he was gonna say.
The thing is, she doesn't know how to take a break, she never pushes us, but she does push herself and it pains the team to see her take so much heat. She really is a bomb manager, and we want her to be more at ease.
Well a couple of days ago the vips of the board decided to bombard her with shit since out dptmnt head was on sick leave. The stress they put on her was some military grade bs and even then she never...EVER took it out on anyone.
The head of our department walked in to talk to us about it. Dude is a tall older gentleman, suits up every day(Texas style meaning cowboy boots and everything) and is quite imposing. Has a stern look man, one of them 1000 mile stares and a huge mustache that more than surpasses mine(which mind you, my mustache is fucking outstanding)
Our boss walked into the meeting room, sat down and heard what she had to say, she was not excusing herself. As bomb as this gorgeous woman is she was all about telling him what we were going to show the board on next week's meeting.
He sat there quietly listening to her as well as the presentation that me and my boys had to do.
What happened next blew me the fuck out of this world.
He said that he was sorry that so much stress had come down to her and us whilst he was gone and that he was happy with the leadership showcased by her and the initiative that the team took to put forward a presentation for him and the board. He also said that he was going to make said presentation for us since the vips had no business stressing us out, he asked for our assistance for any of the technical stats since even though he was a programmer he is not aware of all the inner details of our apps. He said that it is commendable that such a small team can hold 2 campus(college level) and that he was aware of the technical proficiency of me and the lead and that he knows that our shit is not something that gets done overnight.
He then said that at any given time that we get antagonized by matters such as timeframes or shit like that that we can direct everyone to him, regardless of what.
.He was also really amazed at the progress we showed him on the current projects(most are on their respective testing phases).
He then reiterated on how proud he is of all of us before biding us a good weekend and leaving to his office
As i sat there watching how the world was lifted from my manager and happy that he enjoyed the progress of my work I could not help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for this mysterious man.
I would damn skippy take a bullet for him....just in case my draw gets sloppy that is, ain't no one taking aim at the boss.3 -
Continued from previous post.
The man with hoodie walked down a dark alley. At distance, a house which looked haunted stood. As he entered the house he sighed a relief. Once inside, he descends to the basement where an old computer sat. He turned on the computer and smiled. The screen showed a prompt. With fews keystrokes, a series of scripts begin to execute. Finally at the bottom, a text blinked.
"Awaiting Connection........"
The CPU was recovered from rubble and brought to General's office as per his order. It was connected to a power source and it started to boot. A prompt showed up. A man in suit, suggested perhaps it expected a login. The General sat on his chair smoking a cigar thinking on what action must be taken next.
While men in suit discussed about the CPU, someone plugged in a LAN cable. The General who was lost in thought, saw this from corner of his. A moment passed. General sprang from his chair, hurling his cigar to the floor. As men in suits, looked at the General's display of athletic behavior they sensed the tension. Everyone turned to the CPU now connected to LAN now.
Far way, the screen on hooded man computer showed. "Connected".
A series of scripts started to execute.
Cold wind was all that could be heard out side the General's office building and the house, where hooded man sat in the dark.1 -
Welcome to Part III of WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU?, a saga of competence, empathy and me being dick, even tho I didn't want to be one.
This is a follow-up to: https://devrant.com/rants/2363551. It's title is: "Mt 13:12".
We left off the story in the very moment I had received feedback from 3 companies that decided to interview me. A, B and C. We won't talk about A from now on, since I refused their offer to offer me unpaid internship.
It's December 20, 18:00. I am returning home. Earlier that day I emailed guys at C that I need some time with my decision, because I have another offer that suits me better. It was awaiting response from B, obviously. That day they called me and offered me... full-time job. As a fullstack. On a project for a big company, that they described by something like: "They may not be one of the famous X of the market, but they're probably X+1, yeah". Needless to say, that was some bad marketing. I googled them up later tho. Anyway, my response didn't change, altho thing seemed a little big better for me. Except that I was a little suspicious of them too. Were they *that* desperate for a worker?[1]
It is December 24th. 10 am. My phone rings. It's guy from B. He tells me "saito, the recruiter guy is still sick. Since I don't know if we can hire you for sure, it may be better for you to accept another offer, if you got any. I'll keep you updated." That was pretty cool of him. Remember the quote from part II? That's the empathy part. He called me, even tho he didn't really have to. If you read this, monsieur, you're the best. Back to the story now. I emailed guys at C that I am willing to start the job anytime. They told me that CEO is back January 7th, 2020.
It is January 4th 2020, 10 am. Unkonwn number calls. It's actually a guy from B, but the other one. The one that was sick previously. He tells me that he wants to talk about my employment. He talked with the senior dev and he just wants a talk and a small code test in typescript. He told me that it's no prob that I don't know typescript, since it will be entry level and I have time to learn the basics. And so I do. We decide to meet at January 7th. Later on that day guys from C email me that they want to sign the contract n January 7th.
And here we get to the culmination and the lesson of those posts. What should I do? On one side I have a job that isn't 100% comfirmed, but I'm pretty positive about it. The people at B are great, I love them. During my interview I learned some stuff about the project I would participate in, so I didn't go in blindly. It was my field of interest. I was hyped for the possibility itself to work with that senior dev. On the other hand guys at C had their contract ready. They finally were ready to start. I still didn't know for shit what would I do. I knew that I would need to learn basics of data science and stuff. Their interview and CEO left me with a quite bad impression. I didn't really like them. But it was a job.
What I did I consider the best thing I could do for myself. I told guys from C to meet someday later. I visited B yesterday, January 7th. I've done the test. It had some code refactoring and implementing some React elements. Basic shit indeed. I am almost positive I would do it even if I didn't visit typescript docs during the weekend. We then talked about it. The dev told me what he would change in the solution, but didn't consider it bad. Then they told me I'm hired. And I emailed C that I can't accept their offer. The guy was pretty pissed. I can understand it, they seemed to be ready to start with me and I pulled out last day, in the evening. I am truly sorry for that. But also I feel no regrets. I have chosen those whom I trusted more. I've chosen guys who took notes of my CV and talked about it in my interview over people who didn't even get that I applied for a frontend positin. That's competence for you. I've chosen guys who actually wanted to talk wih me about me making music over people who sat me down at a computer and told me: "code". That's empathy for you.
Dear recruiters. If you want to attract best candidates, show your competence and empathy.
Dear recruitees. If you're looking for a good job, it may take some time. Also, knowing people helps a lot.
1 – Actually, I wouldn't be surprised, if they really needed someone to help them out on their projects and they didn't get a lot of attention. Why? Well, their webpage was unfinished and kinda sucked, their interview sucked also. I still don't know whether they're a startup or what. I just can't help but feel bad seeing HR and Marketing that bad. Because the guys actually might do a lot of good stuff, and their potential employees didn't get to know that.5 -
How lawyers fuck up technology!
I rented a car today, given that I don't want to go by train currently. That was some VW Golf, and it had a lane assist which can't decide whether to be helpful or obnoxious:
Either I kept the steering wheel and still steered myself, in which case the lane assist's actions made the steering feel somewhat wobbly. Initially, I suspected a worn out control arm bearing, but that's a long term damage in aging cars, not in new ones.
Or I just rested my hands on my upper legs, as I usually do (palms facing upwards and holding the wheel lightly), then the lane assist worked by itself. It was even smart enough to deactivate itself upon blinking before changing lanes.
However, it complained after about 15 seconds that I didn't steer. I said, shut up and do your job. The warning intensified, and I said, fuck you. Then it initiated some stutter braking to wake me up. Annoying like a reincarnation of Clippy.
I ended up giving the steering wheel a slight tip to the right every 15, 20 seconds just to let the lane assist know I was still there, relying on the lane assist to correct it again. On a long trip, I would have had to deactivate that crap.
Obviously, the VW engineers did their job, but the legal department feared law suits should anything go wrong and ruined the feature!
What was also annoying is that there is no real hand brake anymore in many modern cars. Sucks when pulling off against a hill. Plus that at red traffic lights, I usually put the gear out (manual transmission) and pull the hand brake instead of keeping my foot on the clutch. That's not the same with this pseudo hand brake!
(In case you wonder why anyone would do that:
it's an anachronism that avoids lengthening the clutch wires, decades after cars switched to hydraulics.)12 -
As soon as my own projects income stabilize and outweigh my salary I’ll quit.
I haven’t even read sicp and continued to improve my dev knowledge just because I already can make something that can make me some money. So why spend health and energy polishing interview-passing skills for suits if I personally don’t need them?
World doesn’t revolve around software development.1 -
Me: Would you be free for a call sometime in the next week to discuss?
Him: yes
...... maybe theres a time / day that suits you????2 -
I'm on this fair and there are suits walking almost everywhere!
Even in the "Tech" area.
Like 'a-bit-to-confident' ducks with their heads up in the cloud exposing their throat while walking right into my sharp blade. Inexorable stumbling headless right over the edge of the next bridge, hitting the rails with their rubies. Helpless, waiting to get caught by the next hype-train.
*sigh*rant two-face everywhere masquerade walking talking farting ducks ducks everywhere they won't help me debug my shit17 -
Some people are really getting high on this Agile shit. Probably because they learned some new bullshit bingo phrases - and it suits them: lots of vapory talk and expensive meetings and others will have to do the work anyway, while they can circlejerk on how to have shorter iterations to improve the time to market, increase the business value, inspect and adapt to faster deliver a minimal viable product - yeah, do the agile transformation, update to the digital age, you noobs. Throwing around some catchy phrases will let you compete with Google? Maybe need some blockchain or machine learning?
While you are clustering your post its, the coders who keep the ship afloat, sit in their legacy code base that's so bitrot they are mainly doing bugfix releases without a single feature for three fucking years. Consider this.5 -
So, some years ago, my old firm was bought by a much larger company.
A couple years later, my CTO resigned, as he needed a week deserved break. I acted as interim CTO for half a year, with the full support of the CEO.
But then higher management removed my CEO for a politician 🤡. His first move is to ask my ex-CEO who to consider for CTO.
He adamantly vouches for me, but in the end, I'm not "political" enough. (Sure I admit I'm not the most organized person, and do not sweeten arguments to suits, but I had won the full trust of my previous superiors *and* fellow devs, and had people to cover for organizational stuff, and have successfully navigated situations with the world's biggest tech orgs).
So I'm again a dev, and they hire this new CTO at twice my salary. But as you can probably guess, who ends up still doing all the CTO work on top of his dev work? Yeah.
That drove me to quit, not because of the demotion, but for a denied minor raise when I was doing the work of someone with twice my paycheck.
As could be expected, once I quit, the CTO barely lasted 6 months.
Fun part is, I've been freelancing (successfully) from them on, and I've been contacted by this CTO, trying to hire me to do some work in his new company...
I'm torn whether to tell him to bite me, charge him a shitton of money or any other funny ideas.
Mind you, I don't dislike the guy, and he's not particularly annoying to work with, so I guess this doubles as a rant against corporate clowns, and a bit of advice seeking.7 -
Like someone else already mentioned here, remember that interview goes both ways: youre there to gauge wether workplace suits you or no. Always ask to meet teamleads/project leads or potential colleagues before accepting the job and try talking with them.
I applied to 3 jobs and in all of them managers did put a brave face and told me lots of bs just to get me accept the job. Managers live in their own world, sometimes they dont even know what you will be working on.
Once I accepted a job and got stuck with a perfectionist teamlead for 8 months which could have been avoided given I had the chance to catch the bad vibes during the interview.
Another time I accepted a job and had to work with a backend guy for one year and his accent was so thick+stuttering that I had trouble in understanding anything he says. Every conversation felt like trivia contest. I wish I had knew that stuff before accepting the job -
!rant
I love the first weeks after a job change. It's just like falling in love, everything seems to be perfect until you take off the pink glasses.
Have to wait until I'm assigned a burning project to have a full picture.
Actually I am in a burning project. Deadline in 2 weeks. Doing Bugfixes which do not require in-depth project knowledge, and... It's fine. All a matter of perspective. I also think that project based work suits me more than usual 15y old legacy enterprise shit. And I'm able to switch. From embedded C++ over hardware dev to fullstack .NET (I consider myself as a full-fullstack dev, able to do everything from hardware to frontend).
Topics such as IOT, medical, device engineering, machine learning. Wow.
It's my first company having >50 employees and multiple offices in multiple countries. I used to jump every 2 years from one shitty garage company to another.
Wish me good luck ✌️2 -
Fellow Deviants, I need your help in understanding the importance of C++
Okay, I need to clarify a few things:
I am not a beginner or a newbie who has just entered this community...
I have been using C++ for some time and in fact, it was the language which introduced me to the world of programming... Before, I switched to Java, since I found it much better for application development...
I already know about the obvious arguments given in favour of C/C++ like how it is a much more faster and memory efficient than other languages...
But, at the same time, C/C++ exposes us and doesn't protect us from ourselves.. I hope that you understand what I mean to say..
And, I guess that it is a fair tradeoff for the kind of power and control that these languages (C/C++) provide us..
And, I also agree with the fact that it is an language that ideally suits our need, if we wish to deal with compilers, graphics, OS, etc, in the future...
But, what I really want to ask here is:
In this age and times, when hardware has advanced so much, where technically, memory efficiency or execution speeds no longer is the topmost priority... These were the reasons for which C/C++ was initially created...
In today's time, human concept of time matters more and hence, syntactical less complicated languages like Java or Python are much more preferred, especially for domains like application development or data sciences...
So, is continuing with C++, an endeavour worth sticking with in the future or is it not required...
I am talking about this issue since I am in a dilemma about the use of C++ in the future...
I would be grateful if we could talk about keeping AI, Machine Learning or Algorithms Optimisation in mind... Since, these are the fields in which I am interested in...
I know that my question could have been posted in a better way.. But, considering the chaos that is present in my mind, regarding this question doesn't allow me to do so...
Any kind of suggestion or thoughts would be welcome and much appreciated...
P.S: I currently use C++ only for competitive programming or challenges...28 -
Today was not my sharpest day but managed to sit eight hours on this chair with a laptop on my arm leaning. It's very comfortable.
I made a regex interpreter. Three versions, the first one was nicely programmed and functional but found out that it was 16 times slower than the clib one (at least!). Then i found out how extremely fast the clib one was and found out that the compiling to bytecode what they do is extremely effective. So, i've wrote my one bytecode compiler that is faster than theirs. So, the second version was born. After abusing that thing to find out what kinda speeds i could get out of it, it became very unmaintainable, beyond resque. So i made third version, this one is very performant. It supports [abc]{3} (three times dupplicating group) for example. It supports 0-9 and a-z that converts to 'd' and 'a' (shorter for speed). It converts [a0-9a-z]]{3} to [lada][lada][lada]. The bytecode is not smaller many times than source, but not having to think, suits the interpreter very well. It's blazing fast.
I wish I could smth like this for a living. Develop a language for a living or socket servers. Tired of python (great language, but boring).
Thanks for listening to my tedtalk6 -
You know what really grinds my gears?
Executive bathrooms. They get gold and marble and all kinds of fancy shit and the rest of us get a linoleum shit box. Who do they think they are? Are they too good to shit and piss with their developers. You know...the people who make the shit that makes them money?
Executives are just overpaid suits who do next to nothing while the rest of us carry their fat asses across the finish line and they are too good to take a shit with us common folk.12 -
I'm reluctantly in charge of my company... for now. Trying to avoid any of those fancy, personally cringe-worthy, titles like owner, boss, acronyms starting with a C.
My solution, suits our unique branding, is having my role as:
DragonOverlord
Any arguments as to it actually being a position are quickly thwarted, as it's obviously a class.19 -
We have 7000+ employees and I'm the only one who do dev work. IT had special meetings how to handle my requests. In the end they told me to buy a separate laptop and keep it outside the network. Suits me fine :)4
-
Getting a location in android is so complicated:
First there's the permissions. Ok add it to the manifest. Oh wait, run-time permissions.
Gotta check if user has allowed the specific app to use location or ask for the permission.
Ok. That's done. Why am i not getting a location? Of course, user can turn it off from settings. Gotta check for that aswell. Or ask for it somehow.
Finally i should be able to get the location! Now, how to I use the Location service to get location in the most efficient way that suits for me? Or should I use the Google api.
Every answer in stackoverflow uses a different method. Oh well, gotta try out them all :).2 -
When you finish a great meeting with some clients on a super hot summer day and everybody rise from their chairs but there's a wet stain on all the dark plastic seats that everybody try to cover for.1
-
!dev
Re-watching old episodes of mythbusters. S2E1, they test "better to walk or run in the rain"
Their method totally pissed me off.
They had cotton suits on their body and measured the weight difference before and after.
Except the cotton suits DIDN'T GO ON THEIR HEAD.
Where is most of the rain going to fall when walking slowly and the water source is directly above your head? Head and shoulders.
So of course their findings were that you got more wet when running, as some of the water got on their belly instead of their head.
Can't find anyone talking about it online so had to rant about it here. So fucking stupid7 -
everytime i buy a new phone ,i feel this sense of extreme regret :(
i bought a moto g 5g phone last year in feb, it was so good . it didn't had any out of the world cameras or some funky stuff, but it gave a decent performance and i couldn't want any other phone.
In October my mom's phone started giving issues so i bought a realme phone for her that was half my phone's price. i couldn't spent any mor e because otherwise she wouldn't take it. she accepted the cheaper phone and within 4 days sue was cursing it. the phone had decent specs but would lag in certain apps like zoom, and won't run some call recorder apps. at the end i swapped my phone with mom's since i didn't cared about zoom or the recorder.
now this shit realme phone's memory has gone around 60% full of my stuff, and its showing its limitations. this shit auto relaunches insta after a few minutes of usage, probably because its runtime memory gets short( 4gb 128gb device gets memory shortages. nice). its video quality is shit and camera also takes rarely good pics.
the worst thing i like about smartphones today is how they over optimise the ui. this insta issue and auto call recorders not working is simply because of the realme skin running over the stock android. i had similar issues with a xiaomi device i bought for my dad sometime ago. (fortunately my dad is more medieval so that crap has not came back to me :'/ )
so overall i am buying a 3rd phone in 17 months.
This time it's Samsung f23 and am worried that it's also going to suck. i was this 🤏close to buying a pixel 6 or even an iphone coz i can afford them.
but the regret of buying such an expensive phone that will need replacement in 2 years made me rethink.
the only android os that have suited me the best is stock and as of now only 2 companies are making it : google and moto(* it's 100% aosp with 3 extra apps but they can't say that, so they also state that they are not stock os) . one plus is also a brand that i have heard makes a good os . but recently i also heard that they have completely scrapped their os and using oppo's softwares . plus the amount of tickets we get for notifications not working in oneplus, am sure their optimization is extremely aggressive.
so everything between a moderate price phone ( that will need a replacement in 2 years ) to a flagship felt unnecessary to me, so i went ahead with a Samsung's shit phone. f23 has almost same specs as moto but it's again a heavily customised os. i wanna waste my money on trying a custom os and declare it shitty.
most of my friends that use Samsung are fan of it but they are also not very techy so i guess it suits them well. i am the guy who first installs nova launcher in his device, so let's see what it brings on the table. from the 3rd person p.o.v, i felt its screen and camera images to he nice whenever i used their mobiles, so let's see what this brings to the table :(7 -
Last rant was about games and graphics cards (admittedly not received too well), time for a rant about game development houses.. especially you EA.
So yesterday a friend of mine showed me in one of our Telegram chats that he'd modified some cheats in an old FPS game by editing these scripts (not Lua for some reason) that the game used as a.. configuration language I guess? He called the result a tank cemetery 🙃
Honestly the game looked a lot like Medal of Honor to stoned me at the time, so I figured, well why not fire up that old nx7010 I had laying around for so long, get a new Debian installation on that and rip the Medal of Honor: Allied Assault war chest that I still had, and play it on one of my more modern laptops? Those CD's are now very old anyway, maybe time to archive those before they rot away.
So I installed Debian on it again, looked up how to rip CD's from the command line, and it seemed that dd could do it - just give /dev/cdrom as the input file, and wherever you want to store your copy as the output file. Brilliant! Except.. uh, yeah. It wasn't that easy. So after checking the CD and finding that it was still pristine, and seeing another CD in that war chest fail just the same, I tried burning and then ripping a copy of Debian onto another CD.. checksummed them and yes, it ripped just fine, bit for bit equal. So what the fuck EA, why is your game such a special snowflake that it's apparently too difficult to even spin up the drive to be copied?
So I looked around on plebbit and found this: https://reddit.com/r/DataHoarder/... - the top comment of that post shattered all my hopes for this disc to be possible to rip. Turns out that DRM schemes intentionally screw up the protocols that make up a functioning disc, and detecting those fuck-ups is part of the actual DRM.
"I also remember some forms of DRM will even include disc mastering errors/physical corruption on the actual disc and use those as a sort of fingerprint for the DRM. The copied ISO has to include them at the exact same place in the ISO as on the IRL disc and the ISO emulator has to emulate the disc drive read errors they cause."
So yeah. Never mind that I already own this goddamn game, and that it's allowed by law to make one copy for personal use, AND that intentionally breaking something is very shady indeed.. apparently I don't really own this game after all. So I went onto the almighty search engines, and instantly found a copy of this game for download. You know EA.. I wanted to play nice. You didn't let me. Still wondering why people do piracy now? Might take your top suits that suggested these fucked up DRM schemes another decade to figure out maybe.. even given the obvious now.
But hey I wouldn't even care that much if the medium these games are stored on wouldn't be so volatile (remember these discs are now close to 20 years old, and data rot sets in after 30 years or so). You company decided to publish these on CD. We've had cartridges in many forms before, those are pretty much indestructible and inherently near impossible to duplicate. And why would you want to? But CD is what you chose because you company were too cheap to go to China, get someone to make some plastic molds and put your board and a memory chip in that. Oh and don't even get me started on the working conditions for game devs.. EA and co, aren't you ashamed of yourselves? No wonder that people hate game development houses so much.
Yay, almost finished downloading that copy of Medal of Honor! Whatever you say EA.. I've done everything I could to do it legally. You are the ones who fucked it up.7 -
That moment when you settle with a Linux distro and DE that suits your needs perfectly (Ubuntu GNOME with Albert launcher and a couple of extensions) and someone starts acting like their choice is better because it resembles Windows.
Get. The fuck. Out. -
Parking here fucking sucks.
I just made a url shortcut for finding parking, it redirects to the site of a parking lot 15 miles away, because if you get here after 8am, there is no parking. If you want me to work, then give me a place to park my car. Spend some of that executive bonus on building a new parking garage you dog rocket sucking suits.1 -
Are you fucking kidding me?
Just read about Intel ME (I'm trying to secure my computer). Why the holy fuck does Intel need something that powerful? FUCK YOU, CORPORATE BASTARDS IN SUITS THAT RESEMBLE MATRIX AGENTS.
Does anyone have any tips or updates on this? The article I read was from Jan 2016...5 -
Ford vs Ferrari shows everything wrong with upper management. They are a bunch egoistic pricks in suits who have nothing better to do than play office politics and take credit for the hard work of people under them.
One of the best movie I have ever seen. Made me wanna smell some oil and grease.1 -
We have a external demo this thursday. We still need to merge a lot of branches and somehow get a online environment working.
It's 30C and my motivation is dropping by the hour.
At least im not the one to actually have to demo this for people in suits giving you a hard time.
But there are a lot of responsibilities open and no one is taking a lead or having somekind of plan. -
Over the last few weeks, I've learned two things about the head of my division:
1. They "don't care about code quality"
2. They want to try a "low-code" approach for the web frontend of a completely custom piece of what is currently desktop software
This is despite the fact that we have three full time developers with a wide range of both front and back end skills on the payroll, a deep library of existing components for various frontend frameworks, a custom CSS library, and a decent deployment pipeline for frontend code.
But sure, let's try low-code. Let's see how far that gets us. -
Working in an Agile software development department (12 dev teams, >100 developers) inside a very old school traditional business (15000 staff, several billion annual turnover) is an uphill struggle that I don’t know if I have the energy to persevere with.
New year is making me think I push the launch button on a product that I spent all of last year building.
For context I should add that I am a senior person / leader in the department so I have to deal with a lot of shit from the suits. -
So... I was working in a dead end job where nobody cared about programmers, they were happy everything looked ok.. no standards, no interest in whatsoever about programming.... I was just about to start searching for another job, a better one. I started updating my linkedin and other profiles (ejobs, bestjoba, and so on...) and a few days later, even without applying I got a call for some company asking me for an interview...so I go there...and I was really confused, at the address was just a house, a regular house...anyway,I called them and someone gets out and invites me in, gave me a test with like 50 questions and problems to solve. Did the test and they made me wait for like an hour or so... then two guys in black suits comes to me and start asking me al kind of trick question (like why php 6.1 is better than 5.6) I answered them and then they are like "we want you here, but you have to start tomorrow... and by the way, the contract you will sign... you will can not tell anyone where you will actually work, and can not tell anyone anything about our project and after you will quit or you'll be fired you won't be able to work in programming for the next 2 years or we will sue you... but this is just as a precaution so you won't steal our ideas, code or anything else"... and now is about an year from when I started here, and I have to admit... I get it now, i get why they have all those clause and stuff in the contract...
Sorry for my english, I know it is not really good... and sorry for the long post8 -
Oh, hello dear PO. You suddenly wanted a change to be done after being silent for months?
Silly, silly you. I'm not some kind of rack you drag out of the closet whenever it suits you.
I am now assigned to another project. Your project can't be completed for months, and it ain't my fault. -
Time for payback, who's in?
I have always considered the regular recruitment spam to be annoying. Based on all your rants I now consider these messages a plague. My experiences with rodent... you either use repellent or lure them in a trap.
I have currently listed the following chatbot functionality for project 'Piper of Hamelin'. Love to hear your ideas to maximise counterparty time wasted.
- Yes I would be very interested in this job opportunity, especially since in addition to all 10 listed languages I am also very experienced in the following [list of 20 languages]
- Hi, hereby my resume, looking forward to your response (no attachment)
- Hi, hereby my resume, somehow it wasn't properly attached previous message (attach corrupted file)
- Hi, I am sorry but unfortunately something urgent came in between, can you please reschedule our meeting
- Hi, for some reason I cannot connect to Zoom/Teams/Else, can you send a new invite on another platform later this week
- Hi, somehow the document got lost, can you please resend vancency.pdf
- Hi, I really appreciate your time and effort, though a new opportunity came along just know that suits me better.10 -
Yester... TODAY at 4am because of another typical 4am episode
I understood everything.
And I mean EVERYTHING. Remember how I declared that I dropped the search for the worldview that suits me? Well, I somehow found it and it’s surprisingly good.
Maybe I’ll share the notion document.
K boubas bye 😘3 -
I have to stop this in the first place, but:
Rebuilding something that already exists as a plugin or module.
Why the fuck should I make everything from zero if there's already something working that suits all of my needs?
On the other hand, avoid abusing the usage of plugins in order to avoid demolishing performance4 -
Note: I have deleted my previous version of this question as I found it lacking crucial information and therefore being prone to misunderstandings.
Question : In C/C++ you can position the keyword 'const' either left or right of the left-most type specifier. Which variant do you prefer?
I ask that because I'd like to hear your opinion. Although I have been working with C over three decades now, I only learned this a couple of years ago. After some experimentation I decided for myself, that I like the placement to the right more. Although the positioning to the left is taught in literally every book and course, the original placement suits me better.
One reason, of many, is the listing of many member variables in structs or classes. To have them nicely aligned, I always had to put 'const' either on the previous line or put in extra indention to everything non-const. That was quite irritating sometimes.
Another, and my main reason is, that when reading from right to left, the rhs variant just makes more sense than the lhs variant. Reading from left to right almost never makes much sense without straining your eyes. But that is, of course, highly subjective.
This is even more so if you have pointers. The 'const' keyword modifies the type identifier(s) to the left. So if the 'const' is (anywhere) left of the '*', the data is const. If the 'const' is right of the '*', the pointer address itself is const. The same applies to references.
Examples, read right-to-left:
int* const i; // i is a const pointer to int data
int const* i; // i is a pointer to const int data
int const* const obj; // i is a const pointer to const int data
The "classical" or "taught" way, that is found almost everywhere would read, still right-to-left:
int* const i; // i is a const pointer to int data
const int* i; // i is a pointer to int data const
const int* const obj; // i is a const pointer to int data const
Not only that the second "lhs" form reads worse, it also looks worse. In my opinion, the first "rhs" variant makes it simpler to quickly determine that we are dealing with three ints, while on the second "lhs" variant, one has to first get past the 'const' keywords.
I know that this is not only a matter of taste, but of course of agreement, too. You can not just go and switch the 'const' placement in long standing projects. That would surely piss of a lot of people. Or even cost you your job.
But I like to know what you people think and why.
Thanks a lot in advance!5 -
Related to queueing theory...
Suburban traffic at a stop lights has developed a tendency to include invisible cars.
You can see where these invisible cars are by the gap between the front bumper of one car the back bumper of the next. Sometimes there is an invisible motorcycle, sometimes there is an invisible semi-tractor trailer. It is becoming an epidemic.
The dumbasses in traffic who do this are usually texting behind the wheel while stopped and they are not always Buffy the ding dong cheerleader nor Sally the Soccer Mom... Suits too... It seems to have gotten worse with pot becoming legal I just realized...
But to the point, you can tell these people would never be able to comprehend software engineering... they have no idea that for every invisible car in front of every dumbass driver like them, there is a real car way back that has to sit through two lights. (side effects of bugs and inefficient hash tables) Worse, these dumbasses do this in the left lane so it keeps a host of others from being able to get past their big fat ass into the turn lane.
Simple queueing theory escapes these people.
Computers will someday take their jobs.
Sometimes it motivates me to code faster... "There goes your job beotch! Get used to mac and cheese..."
But once in a while I am in a position to be able to be stopped at a light, and note that next to me is one of those "gapsters" and then pull my car (or motorcycle some days) into that invisible car's spot. The gapster gets so mad sometimes... >:-> so much satisfaction I almost feel guilty...
Queueing theory rules... LOL -
I remember the day I used Linux to enforce size quotas on user directories oh what a day
I was surrounded by horrible monsters wearing manho suits that made them appear superficially human... though the sounds screeching forth from their many toothed mouths in whining jarring tones would suggest otherwise and I used this wonderful feature : you can call most of the file systems commands on files !
did a dd to create a disk image specified to the correct size made an fs inside and mounted it straight into the home directory adding entries to the fstab to auto mount and setting the io permissions
It was so wonderful and the little bastards refused to use the server !5 -
Should I learn Angular 2 or Vue 2?
Not asking which one is better, but which one suits my need better:
I want to move from PHP to nodejs frameworks; I know Vue cause it's famous in the Laravel community, but don't know about the node/js community. I heard Angular 2 is hard, but I'm changing my dev stack so might as invest some time in it. So which one should I pick?
Also, what's a good nodejs framework for starters (who aim to build production-ready apps) (also, not planning on doing mobile apps so no need for cross platform js frameworks).
Thanks in advance12 -
Not dev related so don't shoot me. If you like writing I figure you maybe might enjoy this and thought I'd share.
This is a section from an unfinished novel about 2050s America, set in a corporate subsidized mega-fevela sprawling across washington state, ruled by gangs and patrolled by the officers of a bankrupt nation suffering through austerity and on-and-off again spasms of mass civil conflict.
"Averice - Sex, drugs, and vice, in the downfall and dying days of america."
we lived in a smoke government, where everything was bullshit they blew up your ass so you could continue make believe while
you were bent over with your head in the hole in the ground you mistook for your ass to start with. And if you questioned it all, one bit, the mouth organ of the state would command
hate upon you, like an old latin curse, with a lexicon armada of phrases like "terrorist", and "troubled individual" to character assassinate you by drowning you in the humbling river of societies mass delusion giver, those two sweet letters "TV."
No, we were on the industry edge here, inventing better bait to catch what the state politiburo labelled 'bandits', all for what?
It had, in later years become fashionable to call those who didn't want to be stolen from any more, projected as it were, "thieves", in the same fashion as those in the middle east, defending
their homeland from foreigners, were labelled "insurgents." Tyranny had not so long ago grown a sense of irony it would seem.
And if you became enemy number one of the state, as thousands were, you would spend your days on the run, always looking over your
shoulder for the states vanish vans--black escalades with men in dark suits and mirrored glasses, like bugmen with shiny inhuman, and inscrutable eyes full of alien malice.
These were sordid summers, full of plastic playhouses where the cost of a days wages you could lay with a synthetic lover and pay away the days tense tax for a good lay, and forget your toils and troubles. And so many were kept in poverty because of easy habit and routine that they forget they were not living.
But for me, I had none of it. I preferred the troubled thing on the corner when I could coax one into my state issued sedan. She was sulky, with bright blonde curls, 19, maybe 20, with empty eyes, as if watching some invisible horizon. And in the glow of the blue neon, among the wet sidewalks, and trash, she leaned into my car. No words were exchanged. I nodded, and
she got into the car, a miniskirt, and slinky little handbag.
This was no more than state business with a bureau guy like me, and for her, little more than the prison trade taken public.
She huffed some powder and climbed spraddle leg onto my lap, grabbing me along my jawline, eyes locked onto the depths of my soul, and
for the next ten minutes as she moved on top of me, I was motionless property while my lusts became animal, and she, my cream cup.
After, I arrested her to the standard protests, but she new the game and quickly hushed. This was the verdant arithmetic of the state. I was awarded x amount of pension points for every criminal, no matter how, and it was no gentle hand, not the judge, not the jury, or the executioner of their will. It was the rigid touch of a long arm, dislocated from the law, and now, like frankenstein's monster, cobbled onto the mechanism of the state not unlike the manner of a combine harvester.
We were the owners of all by virtue of all we could take, and we took all we could get. The serial romeos of state police power, romancing
the unwilling citizenry with televised patriotism and five minute power talks at the beginning of the corporate day.
It could be paradise or a wasteland if we wanted it to be. And for a time it was.
Edit: devrant always breaks my formatting. sigh. -
https://devrant.com/rants/2388734/...
Opengenus talks about how his honesty bit him in his ass and I'd like to expound further on the topic.
You have to remember, honesty is rarely rewarded.
My motto is LLAMF, a powerful tool for success.
Like a buddhist mantra, I chant it every morning as I'm getting out of bed.
If you look around you'll see this wherever you turn your head. On the news? People lying like a mothafuka for their job. People selling something on tv? Billboard? internet? Lying like a mothafuka. People in fancy suits with fancy pieces of cloth tied around their neck to tell you who the master holding their dog leash is? "I did not kill that hooker", "We have to sign the law to know whats in it", "These ratfuck starving terrorhobos huddled inside a cave out in buttfuck nowhere, saudi arabia? They made a nuclear bomb!". Lying..like a mothafuka.
And all of them have careers, or jobs, or some cause, or principles they 'believe' in. Or nation they 'serve'. Or any other justification, any other *excuse*. But really thats all it is.
In this great big universe, you didn't exist for billions, possibly trillions of years, and now you do, for a brief span, and then afterward, you'll cease to exist (maybe, who knows what happens after death?), for more billions or trillions of years.
Put on that scale, no utterance out of your mouth *can* or *will* ever really truly matter. at all.
I say, go nuts for donuts.
Did you know I was almost a billionaire? TRUE STORY.
Did you know I once told a guy in a turtle neck sweater about this great new idea for portable phones. His name was steve jobs. TRUE STORY.
Did you know I cowrote a canticle for leibowitz? TRUE STORY.
Did you know I'm a mothafuking time traveler? TRUE STORY.
Napoleon said "Imagination Rules The World". Of course he also said a bunch of other things, mostly (all) in french. I don't speak french. But why live in ordinary reality when countless others do? Why not live in a world all your own making, and let people believe whatever the hell you tell them? Why not be the most interesting person in the room? Or the most obnoxious, but hey, at least no one can say you didn't try!
Lie to me. You know I love it when you do.
My favorite lie I tell to *myself*, every morning. Like zen. "I'm gonna do something great one day."
And it keeps me going, keeps me high.
Whats your favorite kinda lie?4 -
When tackling a solo project, which one of these approach do you usually use (and prefer):
A) Mash up something that works ASAP while ironing out bugs and cleaning up code later on - a.k.a. "duct tape programming".
B) Have everything planned before you even start coding. Strive to get everything right from the get go. UML diagrams galore.
p.s., If none suits you, feel free to tell us about your preferred approach anyway. Those 2 are the only thing that came on the top of my head at the moment.
p.s.s., I'm all for A. Should you care about it.3 -
i am 24 and i feel like i am making some very bad choices with money.
my last few regretful stuff:
- i bought a phone when i found my current one (less than 6 months old) to be slightly less peformant. what's worse is that i don't even like that phone i purchased a lower end phone just coz i felt like experiencing a new phone brand!
- i bought an earpods when i lost my old one. whats worse is that they are lost somewhere at home, and i might find them once i life some beds and other heavy stuff ( although i searched significantly)
- i bought a freaking macbook some months ago. i guess that's not a majorly had investment but its being rarely used as i can't play any games in it(feel like it's a good thing though) and i have to sometimes vsit my old hp laptop to run some softwares as m1 sometimes sucks
- i got into an argument with my dad and recently slammed their phone on floor, then bought them a new one . i regret my angry self that day
- i got myself a personal trainer at gym for additional fees even though i am a beginner. our gym has 4 trainers and they provide basic directions for free of cost , i did not needed that guy.
- i recently bought a few track suits which , although i don't regret buying, i felt that i could get them at cheaper price at my local markets.
plus there are many other stuff that if i look into my amazon or flipkart history , i will regret more.
i need help with this shit. i am spending like 5-20% of my salary on regretful stuff, so its not a bad ratio but i still need to control.
send help :'(9 -
I keep an eye on new popular technologies. In particular, I try to spot it's primary use case.
Then whenever I start a new personal project I pick whichever technology that suits it best (even ones I have never used before) and do everything I can to make it work. -
Avoiding using the line "...and this conversation is over" aka Suits-style, to simply STOP THE MADNESS!
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Some Back Story
Hey, so i was hired as a graduate developer in a company recently, its a rotation kinda thing so we get to work in different roles. At the moment i am in performance testing (which i like), here i am learning a lot of new things and like the working environment as well. After sometime i will have the freedom to choose a different role to move to but it is restricted to back-end mostly (that's what i went for during the interview) so i will have a choice between software engineering and QA automation, i can try both for sometime and then i will have to decide which part suits me more. Of course they will take my word but also take into account where i suit more according to my performance and factors like some others preferring the same thing.
Problem
Problem is that i have very limited knowledge of performance testing as a career simply because i think most people would prefer Development over testing, but this is a different kind of testing which i actually like. I just want to know if i have this choice then which career path makes more sense as i applied as a developer only but being a newbie i didn't know there were these many categories. A senior developer i know advised me to get all the knowledge i can take from performance but still go with software engineering and didn't explain his rational.
just want some advice for a newbie, i love the workplace.2 -
Just for fun, so if you don't like fun, or humor, stop reading.
Someone in a thread once suggested toppling KFC (a joke of course)
But really, think about it, topple KFC? Why? Everyone knows Chick-fil-A or Wendy's will replace them one day anyway.
Join the "fresh never frozen" rebellion today.
The colonel is some fucking confederate-type anyway.
Clearly KFC appears to be part of the giant commie pinko modern slave state.
If they were real homies they'd sell grape drink.
But do they?
No.
Because it's all about them profits.
They want to be Master.
What's next we're all gonna be forced to wear chicken suits and stand in line begging for tendies while praising a giant golden idol of colonel Sanders like some 2021 throwback to an Aztec god?
Probably Human sacrifices after that. It's an old ritual. When civilizations (we live in a society) run out of meat what do they eat?
Soylent green is people.
Finger licking good.
Praise Sanders. (And please don't sacrifice me next Mr. Sanders! Ill work harder at this writing thing I swear!)7 -
Okay so I've been programming for around a few months learning python. I'm a slow learner so I try to stick with a learning schedule that suits me and i do got it, but I've come across a problem that keeps happening.
When will I know when to use certain functions like len(), range(), Or even modulas %. Because I forget they're there and im worried its going to effect me from being better.
Another problem while I have some of your attention is i dont know when to use math in my code really well but I've been getting better at that so I'm gonna practice a little bit for that.3 -
Fuck nrwl.
This stupid puddle of barf software that gets talked over like it's the shit. Nothing remotely useful works when using it. It always craps out some dumb exceptions that have nothing to do with your actual code but the dumb fuck, that didn't have the brain cells to think half a step ahead when doing his job.
It's just a buggy, mostly useless piece of shit that some guys in nice suits sell like it's jesus 2.0.
I hope you burn in hell.
I haven't been this mad since a looong time.2 -
Had a discussion about the future post- covid.
He said he and his friends don't go out much now bc of it.
TLDR: all houses will have a clean room at the door and a suits hanger2 -
I'm currently applying for an engineer role. The role is reasonably agnostic regarding specific skills which suits me well because I have a wide base and I like diversity, however they have said they are after more Java developers. Whilst I have programmed in Java and worked on Java projects I wouldn't claim any proficiency beyond amateur.
What sort of things should I really know about if the tech interview brings up Java questions? I'm not expecting them to but it would be foolish not to prepare for that eventuality. -
I live under a rock.. sooo notepad++ for me..or even a paper notebook..
Joke aside, depends what kind of code I'm writing or what I'm doing with it.. if I have to analyse what some part does and modify it I actually do take it from VS to np++ to check & write.. same for PLSQL.. not sure why I prefer doing this the 'hard' way, but it suits me.. after I'm finished I'm pasting it back and correct possible typos and so on..
P.S. I'm also one of those weirdos who have no problem writing exams on paper.. -
Suppose u got a project idea. But for this project u have to use a totally different language, say Go as it's suits the use case. But till now u had experience in other languages like Java, node etc.
How do you switch to different language in minimum time? What points u keep in mind to get the language? U r well aware of that u may or may not use this language for another project in future. But for this project, it's best case scenario.3 -
How to Improve Aim in FPS Games?
First person shooting games require very sharp aim. If you have perfect aim, you win; you don't have it, you lose!
To improve your aim skills in your favorite FPS games, you need to practice a lot. But, you cannot practice while playing the game itself. Also, you must tune the setup to make sure your gaming mouse favors you.
In this article, I am sharing ways you can use to polish your aim skills and win. Here you go.
Choosing the Right Mouse & Grip
It is important that you get your hardware right. It includes a good gaming mouse and a high quality mousepad.
No, I am not suggesting to buy a $150 gaming mouse. But, make sure the mouse you are using has a precise laser sensor and the correct weight distribution. It matters a lot.
Secondly, make sure the grip suits your style. I personally prefer palm grip as it favors fast movement and more control over the mouse.
So choose your gaming mouse wisely.
Tuning the Right Settings
After you’ve got the right mouse, the next thing you need to consider is the software settings - DPI, sensitivity and acceleration.
DPI is the number of pixels moved on the screen while moving your mouse by 1 inch on the mousepad.
Having high DPI ensure quick movement and lower DPI improves precision. So, you need to find the correct balance between the two!
I discourage using mouse acceleration when you are playing an FPS game. You must turn it off in your mouse settings.
Practice, Practice, Practice
As I mentioned in the beginning itself, practice is the most important part in improving your aim for FPS games.
Fortunately, there are tools that you can use online to practice aim training. I recommend using this aim trainer online here, that's my favorite website to practice aim training https://clickspeedtester.com/aim-tr...
which has all the options and modes you would ever need for aim training.
Aim Booster lets you play in challenge as well as training mode. You can also choose from easy, medium and difficult mode.
There are different aiming methods you can practice - quick shot, double shot, twitching, sniper shot etc. I personally love playing the sniper shot as it drastically improves precision.
Final Words
Well, those were the most easy and totally worth trying ways to become a sharpshooter in FPS games. Although, no one can become pro overnight. It needs time and practice in equal amounts.
I hope these ways would help you in winning your favorite shooting games. Tell me comments how much it helped you.1 -
Where can I find a job that accepts internship or entry level positions? I'm from the Philippines and I'm wanting to find a tech job that suits my experience. It's very hard for me to find a job during the pandemic.