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Search - "rod"
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Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:
"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"
😅27 -
Me: I need a Windows PC to test my code on.
Server dude: We don't have any free, but I can setup an old server for you.
Me: 🤔 .. I'll take it!18 -
We will no longer be accepting contracts which have an internet explorer or edge support requirement.
All of the front end devs are going hysterical and celebrating 😂 🎉🎉17 -
Got a couple laughs at an interview for the software listed in my resume:
"Sublime Text 3 (unregistered)"
😉20 -
A client who I freelance for just asked if they could invest in one of my side projects.
This is the best day of my programming career 😊9 -
I think I just broke the (only) USB C port on my MacBook so I’m racing to push about 30 git repos before the battery dies forever21
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Put headphones on when I got to work at 7:30am.. it's 3:10pm and I just realised I never started playing music 😑8
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Just saw an ad:
"I learned to code in 2 months thanks to X School and now I'm working at Google!"
Seems like now is the right time to dump your Google stocks.2 -
Holy crap, just consulted with a company who wanted to fire the entire 6 person backend team because:
"They don't produce any tangible work or add value to the company."
Initially I didn't catch on, went to chat with the devs and realised the dilemma. Took 3 hours of (almost heated) debate before the higher ups understood the the value and purpose of backend devs.
This is a kitchen appliance company who recently moved into IoT 🙃12 -
Me: **posts 🔥rant**
Me: **gets flood of devRant notifs**
Coworker: "What push API are you testing?"
😉1 -
Expectation: arrive at work, everyone in awe of devrant swag, social status++
Reality: arrive at work, prod failing, get blamed, employment status--7 -
Found a pretty cool company asking for job applications via POST request 😎
..almost incorrectly formatted my JSON 😅10 -
Do any of you guys or gals sit outside and code?
Since 2009 this has been my primary work place (even in the cold and rain), I go to the office for mostly non-coding work and have a pc inside for serious sessions but I'd say 80% of my heads down dev time is spent sitting here. A little quirk is when people call or Skype me they'll immediately say "I can hear birds in the background, where are you??".
Anyway, I'm moving soon and thought I should share while I still can ☺️21 -
Just had a JS guy try some Visual Basic, learning about types.. finally he got the error:
Stackoverflow: (...)
His response:
"Oh! Like the website! That's so cool! Hey Brod, look what I did! 😀"
It was the cutest reaction I've ever seen to a error.2 -
At the Apple Store in my devRant hoodie and got noticed by an employee..
Her: what's your username?
Me: brod 😬, what's yours?
Her: julia! Have you seen the new MacBook Pro?
...
Turns out, there's no @julia, now I have a $2,800 MacBook that I didn't need (nope, not the pro, just the shit one).53 -
Friend: pls come out on my yacht, you can work from there..
Me: what about power and wifi?
Friend: it has 240v and 4G
Me: 😦😁7 -
Just got asked "How much experience do you have with the current JavaScript standards? I'm talking ES6 and ES7" in an interview with what I assumed were technical people.
I chuckled and said "I'm comfortable with ES8" as a joke but everyone just nodded and moved on..7 -
Joker: If you are good at something don’t do it for free
Me: (thinking) How much shall I charge to introduce bugs into someone’s code? 🤣3 -
Fucking useless languages that compile into other languages but provide no real benefit other than some trendy syntax crap.14
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Co Worker: "Your computer is missing a mouse!"
Me: "I require less dependencies to use a computer"
BBUUUURRRRNN10 -
Got some good news today, Australia's PM (Malcolm Turnbull) doesn't want a backdoor in encryption! All he just wants is "support" from companies to "access" their users encrypted data.
See the difference?
I don't 😒14 -
Just reduced 900 lines of horrible code into 106 lines of less horrible code..
QA: do those 106loc really do what the 900loc did ?
Me: yes
QA: really?
Me: yes
QA: are you sure?
Me: NO. I was lying. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you should run it and find out.
QA: *immediately releases for prod*3 -
PM: Hey Brod, I know your really busy refactoring to ES6 but I think our Ruby app broke, could you fix it?..
Me: Ask Tom, he's the only one here who knows ruby he wrote the app..
PM: I didn't want to interrupt his Skype call.
Me: he's not on Skype, that's his face, he's taking snapchats.
PM: oh, well I don't want to really interrupt that either.
SAY YOU HATE ME. JUST SAY IT.8 -
When I hear sales guy using technical terms in the wrong context while doing his sales pitch to a client...2
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> gets rejected from upwork
> builds alternative to upwork
> gets funded by old client who uses upwork
> origin story complete17 -
I’m hopelessly brand loyal at times but after a day with Vim I’ve decided to jump ship. Ciao sublime ✌️27
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Went to an interview for the position ‘PHP Web Developer’. Interviewer scans through my CV for 2mins and then starts the interview.
Interviewer: Do you know Java?
Me: I know Java but I don’t have any professional experience
Interviewer: Do you know Hadoop?
Me: No. I’ve never worked on it
Interviewer: Our company works on Hadoop hence you should be able to work on that after joining.
Me: I thought this is a PHP web dev position.
Interviewer: Of course. But you will have work on various other things too!
Me: I don’t think I want to become jack of all trades. Thanks for the opportunity!
I got up and left the interview...7 -
The fact you’re older doesn’t give you the right to call other people’s 8-months’ engineering effort “shit work”, especially if you didn’t even see the code...
Sincerely,
Your tech lead - me :)4 -
PM: I spoke with x client, they really like x feature and want to continue.
Me: great, I'll let the team know.
PM: Yeah, I told your team already.
Me: Oh. What did they say?
PM: They all told me to tell you first, so you can tell them.
Me: 😏2 -
Just got a brand new car coming from a 1999 Honda CRV and holy shit the tech in these things is insane.. basically drives itself on HWY's, can start it from an app, does all sorts of weird stuff.. obviously it comes with risks of being hacked and all that but damn new cars are wicked these days.7
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Client: We need video chatting facility in our website
Me: Ok. But it will take more time and effort. It will cost you more too!
Client: Don't build from scratch. We use Skype in our company. Just embed in our website too!
Me: **facepalm**5 -
Lead Dev: Just use jQuery, it'll save us from adding a whole new directive in Angular.
Me: 🤦♂️
Coworker: 🤦♀️10 -
Sent HTML to google translate server side to support multiple languages.. actually worked pretty well but it made me feel dirty for weeks.1
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Our PM found a contractor, results as expected..
Contractor: "The file you supplied is corrupt, some areas are greyed out and damaged"
Me: "😐, do you mean the comments?"
Contractor: "I'm not sure what you mean 'the comments'"
Me: "Does the file work as expected?"
Contractor: "Yes"
Me: "Strange! I'll have a chat with our PM and get this issue resolved right away 😉"
...
if(!contractor) {
return Promise.resolve()
}1 -
"Start at 4am" .. they said
"Nothing will go wrong" .. they said
WELL YOUR COFFEE MACHINE IS BROKEN AND THE MAINTENANCE GUYS GET HERE AT 7 😡3 -
I was given a work to refactor one of my colleagues code and found that there was a variable named 'anal'. I was quite surprised seeing it as the colleague was a soft spoken and well behaved guy in office. After scratching my head for 15mins I came to know that he was storing analytics data in that variable. Hence the name! :-D8
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If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.15
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Found out that the company I'm currently working, gave me only 6 mandatory holidays for this calendar year. When I asked my boss why is it too low, he got so furious as if I asked him to donate his kidney!10
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You know the code is in bad shape when you see variables starting with "get":
Integer getDataBlockSize;4 -
Client wanted to add "password usability" features such as:
Password1 === pASSWORD1
Him: Facebook and Google do it
Me: You're not Facebook or Google
Him: Well sure, not without this feature
Me: 🤔11 -
Fuck Reddit admins. Fuck them in ass with a rusted iron rod. Then pour in some liquid steel and dehydrate them to death.
Bloody fucks.
Remember the toxic girl who stalked and harassed me? She did that on Reddit.
After multiple reports to faggot admins, no action was taken against her multiple accounts.
I ended up creating few alt accounts for my mental well-being.
I have been contributing fairly well from all my accounts earning community trust and reputation, even behind the mask of anonymity.
Now, day before yesterday, a teen started abusing me for no reason on a local sub. I ended up ignoring.
Next morning I am notified that admins banned my account permanently.
What the fuck! I did not violate any policy and yet I was kicked out.
I raised an appeal for those fags to look into this and uplift the ban.
Fuckers banned all my accounts permanently without giving any reason.
Instead of taking action against retards who harass people, these bhenchods ban people who contribute in a good way.
I truly wish, that the person who made this decision rots to death while feeling the pain of regret.
I am soooo fucking annoyed. I have been using Reddit for many good reasons and have found it really helpful in various areas of my life.12 -
If programmers became musicians we would see
- Wake me up when my build ends, 21 cores, Boulevard of broken CI pipelines by Blue Screen Day
- Smoke from my cabinet by Deep For-Loop
- This is how you debug me by Loopback
- Post-release rhapsody by debug queen
- Another bug in the code by Programmer Floyd
- Smells like bad code by Coders from Botswana
- A place for my code, Cure for the bug by Likin to code at dark
etc etc..5 -
Was in a meeting today with a team I just joined, I asked what they used to write tests.. they said they don't write tests because no one would see them..
This is crazy right?9 -
I. HATE. HUMANS!
A family of four lurking side by side on an already extremely small sidewalk? Stop reproducing or I will start kicking your fucking kids in front of the next truck.
Ignoring the traffic laws as a biker and almost crashing into me because you just didn't care for the traffic light? Fuck you! Next time I see you I will stick a steel rod in between your spokes so you fly into the next cars window.
Randomly and spontaneously stoping on the sidewalk while I am at my top walking speed? Next time I will just run you over. With a bulldozer. And than again in reverse. I just don't get people, I guess.8 -
I'm a web application developer and work for an abattoir.
On slow days I sometimes I go out and pick a cow, give it name, scan its ear/rfid tag, lookup what farm it came from and how much it cost, then monitor it passing through the various production lines.
Yup.4 -
Any commbank developers in here wanna fix your stupid car loan application process where I need to know the VIN number of a car that isn't even built yet?6
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I got in an argument with a co worker, she says that mass surveillance programs are "none of my business" and I shouldn't care how they operate.
ACTUALLY, ACCORDING TO GOOGLE IT IS MY BUSINESS.2 -
Just got made redundant 😒
Anyone need a web dev in Melbourne?
I have desirable skills such as working myself out of a job..9 -
PayPal.
Found a nice method that does what you want? DEPRECATED.
Finally got that adaptive payment workflow all figured out? BREAKING CHANGES.
Want to use that new feature with your langs library? UNSUPPORTED.
Braintree isn't much better.7 -
Me: "I try to keep it under 400 watchers unless there's a really good reason"
Them: "Oh yeah, cool. So what's a watcher?"
Me: 😦3 -
I just got asked to print out last weeks production data in the "pristine squiggly brackets format".
😐
WHAT DO YOU MEEEEAAAANNN!4 -
@dfox @trogus Was there any discussion about not displaying usernames within the feed? (eg, "posted by brod")
I reckon it's one of the best _features_ devRant has.7 -
Four engineers and a broke down car
One day, mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.
The mechanical engineer said, “I think a rod broke”.
The chemical engineer said, “The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas”.
The electrical engineer said, “I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system”.
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, “What do you think?”
To which, the computer engineer replied, “I think we should all get out and then get back in”.3 -
Apple has the best UX:
"Type your password followed by the verification code shown on your other devices"4 -
What to do with a web development intern who doesn't understand the concept of git even after 3 weeks of joining?
PS: Can't fire her20 -
That moment when you change your mindset from "I'll probably leave the office by 6pm" to "I hope I'll leave before midnight"1
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When you push seemingly harmless untested code to production server which breaks the whole application...2
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Programming commandment: Thou shall, from time to time look at your old code, introspect and improve!
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This whole week I’ve been writing Java (for the first time) and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a horrible language, written by horrible people, for the purpose of making other people’s lives horrible.
Fuck Java 🙂8 -
Did a code test at an interview, had to aggregate data from a db. They stored cities with population count and users referenced cities.. 6 cities had a higher user count than population 🤔
They were a little taken back and suggested the population data must be outdated 😉.. it got a bit awkward1 -
"I blame television and movies, especially cop shows. 'Can you improve the resolution on that face?' 'Sure, let me just pull some information that was never captured out of my ass.'" - Rod Knowlton2
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When the company spamming is also the service provider but fails to gracefully handle requests on their service 😒6
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Never used Gradle before but first impression is it's absolutely trash.
What used to take a couple dozen milliseconds now takes hundreds of THOUSANDS of milliseconds..11 -
@dfox & @trogus
Any thoughts on allowing people to buy their avatars (and others) as stickers? I understand I can just download the pic and get my own made but a built in feature would be cool - it'd be a nice way to say "hey! I really like your rants!"
Just throwing it out there 🙂4 -
Tech Dept set all company phones to the same iCloud account and didn't turn off iMessage..
Boss + HR + random works all just realised they'd been sharing messages.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉4 -
This happened 3 years ago in my previous company. It was a small start up company and we worked on PHP stack. One of the its ex-founders had written Windows Mobile App which now had to be upgraded with new features. So we hired this new dot net guy. I always thought dot net guys were ELITE coders and was excited to see how they work.
While I played Xbox and had fun, our dot net guy stuck to his workstation furiously working. My boss who was casually strolling out of his office for a stretch saw dot net guy working hard and suggested we all developers should take him as an example.
20 days went by and each day the dot net guy did the same. He came, he silently worked on his workstation, he left in the evening. In those 20 days my boss asked twice to the dot net guy if he has finished features he was assigned but he said he did not. After a month when he said the same negative answer and had nothing to show for the work he has done he was fired.
I was so curious to see what code that ELITE coder had written for a month but could not deliver a feature(Maybe some error he could not fix?). So I open the code repo on which he worked and I see 30 commits from that guy to it. He had made a single commit each day(Fair enough he wants to commit everday before leaving). It was time to check his commit diffs to see his ELITE code. What do I find? In every fucking commit he either added a blank line to the DocBlock or removed the same. Nothing less nothing more! So much for the hyped not-so-ELITE dot net guy...1 -
Why are all the feminists silent who support equality between genders regarding the Jeff Bezos case? They should suggest her to be independent and not take her husbands assets right? 🤔🤔20
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!dev
Ive been looking for a hobby for years but nothing is interesting enough.. i lose interest within a few hours (besides cars but thats expensive so i only work on it very once in a while).
But now everything changed.. I was looking for something that keeps my mind busy but I was soooo bored those last months that I went fishing just to get outside..
turns out my new hobby is the opposite of what i was looking for.. fishing and completely turn off my brain.. its so calming to just be alone in the nature and do a very simple task, thowing out and pulling in with a chamce of catching a nice dinner.. try-catch basically..
assembled my first custom rod today, i kept in mind what i liked about certain rods and then put the best of each of them into my own rod..
if youre stressed and and introvert you should try it..
havent been that calm in years..17 -
God Apple, why tf does the Fill Screen / Fit Screen button only turn bright / change glyph sometimes ☹️3
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2 in 1
How I fucking hate people that are over apologetic, but don't actually learn anything out of it, maybe next time you do the same fucking mistake again, I'll shove a fucking spiked metal rod up your ass and twist it, so next time you sit down you seemingly still fucking feel it and remember to check beforehand to avoid the fucking issue, you fucking buffoon.
--
Another thing I'd stick a rusty crackneedle pipe up somebodys internals is "for each day late we will penalize 500$ from the budget" while the budget is like 2k, go fuck yourself and eat your cash, with your "30 day challenge" job, you fucking cumstain.3 -
My day:
5:30AM - 2yo son wakes me up, I send him back to his bed
6AM - wakes me up again, gotta grab a coffee
7:30AM - leaving towards the office
8:30AM - finally arriving to the office, after horrible traffic.
*continue working on major schema change I started yesterday*
12:30PM - Lunch + Beer
1:30PM - Tequila time!
*back to work*
7:30PM - Finally done with coding, leaving the office
8PM - home at last
9:30PM - Beer time
9:31PM - "I'll just write a couple of more lines"
12:30AM - "That's it, no more code for today"
12:31AM - "I'll just scroll through devRant"1 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall not commit code snippet copied from StackOverflow without adding a comment to help future coder brethren!
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These days programming has boiled down to how optimally can you find solution to your problem using search tools!2
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left the office early today to see my 2 years old son before he goes to bed.
it's 11pm and I'm working from home, gonna wake up around 5:30am to commute to work.
I really need to move closer to work3 -
Colleague: We need to deliver it today so let's hardcode some values in the code to make it work
Me: Ok you do it. I don't even want to see it!3 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall blame all bad code on thy comrade who has bequeathed your company!2
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## Building my own router
IT HAS ALREADY PAID OFF!!!!!
So I (with my fam) have evacuated from the capital of Lithuania into a distant place - much smaller, where average age is prolly >30 or even >40 years. I live in a village now. In a house with very good neighbours. In fact these neighbours own that house :D
Back to the point.
So these neighbours used to share their wifi (w/ internet) between the two houses. They have the line, the mian router has quite a strong antenna and that other house has 2 repeaters: 1 on the outside wall and another one -- indoors. Sepeaters are connected sequentially, i.e. the indoors one is repeating the outdoors one. ikr....?
The first day was alright. We settled in, got everything set up wifi-wise. Peachy.
The second day repeaters refused to issue a DHCP IP. That's something, right? Alright, nvm - I don't mind setting up static IPs. In fact I prefer them over the DHCP magic!
And by the noon both repeaters were connectable but neither of them could provide internet connection... We that sucks! I restarted both of them a few times, neighbours restarted their main router -- still no luck.
Here comes my router [God am I happy with this purchase and the whole idea of a customized router!!! Thanks @hakx20!].
I brought it outside, plugged it in. Connected to it through it's hotspot, used nmcli to connect to neighbours' main router with an internal wifi card (that shitty mPCIe operating in USB mode. yes, the same one, manufactured in 2003. Yes, in g mode.). A couple of iptables rules for traffic forwarding et voila! I have built my own repeater! And tomorrow I can WFH w/o any issues.
Yes, hardware routers are faster and easier to maintain. Yes, hardware routers are cheaper and usually have nicer bells and whistles. But when hardware fails you and the last thing you want is going to the public (shop), soldering rod won't help you. A software solution becomes the easiest to set up, considering you know how to.
Boi am I so happy about my purchase! CentOS router FTW!
P.S. even though we've fled the city we are responsible citizens and we've self-quarantined ourselves for the 14 days period. No local person any closer than 10 meters for the whole period until we're cleared. Being away from the city gives us sooo much freedom! Especialy now, when cities are shitting bricks in fear.rant ap success story repeater quarantine wifi centos hotspot custom router coronavirus custom router4 -
Anyone else been lightly formatting rants and comments with **markdown** hoping for it to be implemented?
_I know I have_1 -
How bout instead of "Disrupting space-time continuum" or "Moving satellites into position" .. you just launch your crappy app.15
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I tried so hard and debugged so far
But in the end it didn't even matter
As I rewrote function call to loose it all!1 -
A primary investor in the company I work for drops by every few days and always smokes cigars in the coffee room and shuts the door..
My coffee and his cigar routines have never collided before today, I'm now trying to figure out the lowest impact server or utility I can shutdown that will cause enough panic to get him out.2 -
I struggled to find the interview location as the company as they were using another companies offices. As I sit down, sweating, feeling rushed for barely making it on time the interviewer says: "Tell us a joke"
I should have got up and walked out, but since I was there already I pulled this one out:
One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.
The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke.
The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas.
The electrical engineer said, I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system.
All three turned to the computer engineer and asked, What do you think?
The computer engineer said, I think we should all get out and then get back in.4 -
Guinea pigs are not from Guinea and they aren’t pigs
JavaScript has nothing to do with Java
Computer science is not an actual science
Lawsuit is not an actual suit that the judge wears
Siouxsie Suioux is not Native American
Sugar gliders aren’t made of sugar
People don’t drive on driveways and don’t park on parkways
Carpets have nothing to do with either cars or pets
Gunpowder actually looks like noodles and not like powder
Coca-Cola has no coconut and no cocaine in it. It also contains no cola nuts
Peanuts aren’t actually nuts
Watermelon doesn’t taste like a melon
Laptops are usually used while standing on desks, not laps
GPU, as in graphics processing unit, can process things that aren’t graphical
Silverback gorillas’ backs ain’t made of silver
Rod Steward is not a rod and not a steward
Guy Standing can sit
People who say they can’t stand something usually can actually stand up
People who call themselves woke do sleep sometimes
Hibernation mode in Windows doesn’t actually hibernate anything
Kool Aid can be served hot
Wall sockets can be used while not being attached to a wall
WC is not a closet
MrBeast is in fact human
Dodge cars aren’t better at dodging things than other cars
Some AC units can be operated using DC
Most men don’t menstruate
Pop bottles don’t always go pop
Backpack can be used while not being worn on your back
Watches don’t watch anything
Some keyboards aren’t actually a single board
Cigarettes have cigars, but cassettes don’t have cass, and Gillette doesn’t have gills
Dyson doesn’t make Dyson spheres
Hairdryers can dry things that aren’t hair
Beds aren’t usually made of bedrock
ThinkPads can’t think
MacBooks aren’t books
Ceilings don’t ceil
Platinum records aren’t made of platinum
Training doesn’t always involve trains
Great Britain ain’t that great
HDMI can carry signal that isn’t HD
Fingers do fing but autists don’t aut
American Football band doesn’t play american football
Taylor Swift is neither a taylor nor a swift
Hard disk drive doesn’t drive
Tank tops has nothing to do with the top part of a tank
Tea bags do sometimes contain herbs that aren’t tea
Tea isn’t usually teal
Jack Black isn’t black
Fingernails aren’t nails32 -
on one hand- got a new job, on the other hand getting a new MacBook pro just before they release a new generation2
-
Bible verses.
Sorted from "wtf" to progressively more disturbing.
---
1️⃣ One of many contradictions
---
John 4:12
"No one has seen the face of God."
Genesis 32:31
"I have seen the face of God..."
---
2️⃣ All-Knowing God, regrets creating you
---
Genesis 6:6
"And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart."
---
3️⃣ Says to kill all gay people
---
Leviticus 20:13
"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, they have committed an abomination; the two of them shall be put to death; their bloodguilt is upon them."
---
4️⃣ Approval of sex trafficking
---
Exodus 21:7
"If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do. If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself, he must let her be redeemed."
---
5️⃣ Says its ok to own slaves
---
Exodus 21:20-21
"Anyone who beats their male or female slave with a rod must be punished if the slave dies as a direct result, but they are not to be punished if the slave recovers after a day or two, since the slave is their property."
---
6️⃣ Says its ok to kill children
---
Psalms 137:9
"Blessed the one who seizes your children and smashes them against the rock: the children represent the future generations, and so must be destroyed if the enemy is truly to be eradicated."
---
7️⃣ Says a raped woman must marry her rapist
---
Deuteronomy 22:28–29
"If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days."
---
8️⃣ Says incest is ok
---
Genesis 19:32-36
"Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father. That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father."19 -
Hot tip: if you are a company, don’t ever ever ever ever spend your money on an Optimizely academy course. They have the worst course material I have ever seen in my life, and the material is outdated by several years from exercise to exercise. And the training videos are literally just a recording of a live class with a couple students. They should pay me to sit through this fucking shitshow. It is not worth a single cent, but guess how much they charge for the course and certification?!?! $2300 😱🫣😂. It’s so fucking bad I want to kill myself. Whoever decided to pour as little effort into this as possible over at Optimizely, I hereby curse you to a 2300 painful deaths and I hope someone shoves a ice cold rod up your ass to wake you up. *slams keyboard*3
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Motherfucking cocksucking Microsoft windows. The worst software ever written by shittiest developers.
Mother fucker blowed up all the partitions ( Linux installation, root and /home partition ), including windows recovery disk.
I wish, your HQ will blow up the same way, someday.
Bill Gates .... Go fuck yourself with a iron rod12 -
Today I experimented a bit with Dockerfile's.
Was quite surprised how far you could go with a spicy salsa of ARG, ENV, SHELL and multi stage builds.
But... For fucks sake....the debugging is like poking a light year long rod into a black hole, trying to fish something out of the event horizon....
In the end I got a nice setup for Java build's, version injectable with ENV/ARG, non root user and version specific behaviour.
As the debugging is non existing...
I filled up more than once my SSD....
It was an annoying brain damaged repetitive cycle of changing Dockerfile, pruning all images if docker build stopped because of missing free space, waiting for all stages to complete, start new.
And caching is a fragile thing that puzzles me .........
Guess more fishing tomorrow.
*Gives a happy deep throat to the beer bottle in hope of death*4 -
A coder and a non-coder were travelling on a boat together. Due to some reason there was a hole in that boat and it started to drown. Non-coder survived but coder didn't. Why? Coder thought it was just another loop hole which he could fix using his laptop. So much for his confidence!3
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When you have to get app thread dumps using tools provided to you: a rock, a hammer and a steel rod.
Fuck it. I'm building my own tools.
I'm pissed.
Step aside and let me show how it's done. And STOP GIVING TASKS "TO DEVELOP A TOOL X" TO TEAMS WHICH HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE TOOL IS TO BE USED, WHAT VARIATIONS MIGHT BE REQUIRED, WHAT PRECISION IS NEEDED, ETC. -
My iPhone has two pages for apps, the main page and not the main page - none start on the main page and few ever make it. DevRant has made it to the main page 😊8
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"artificial intelligence !== conscious intelligence"
If the brain is just a biological computer that statement is incorrect right? 😟
Are _we_ the robots?4 -
Had to demo i18n working to client with 45m notice..
Google translate the whole page server side and pray CSS behaves. -
Can someone explain what's so wrong with CSS?
My only issue is you can't set media query variables - which is totally not an issue with cssnext or similar..3 -
Worst interview was when I attended interview for the position of PHP and the interviewer started grinding me with C++ questions starting with STLs. Could not answer most of them, interviewer said to get my act together and try again after 3 months. Nope not gonna happen!
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I was an introvert while growing up hence I found interacting with non-living things easier. When I was 11 i.e. like 17 years I told my parents to enroll me into computer classes. They didn't see much of a future in it so they refused. I fought hard and finally they agreed. Hence started my journey with computers.
First week all students were allowed to explore the computer we were assigned and also were taught to play basic Windows 95 default games to make it interesting. It was all fun. Next week the teacher said he would be teaching us how to tell computer to do what we want i.e. programming. Hearing that I could make my computer do what I want excited me a lot. I felt I could finally communicate to a computer. This is how I learnt BASIC. I was so amazed I could do so many things like take input and do calculations etc. I decided I would do this kind of job in the future if it exists.
So now I am actually doing what I wanted to do when I started programming i.e. coding job!1 -
I might be pushing my 4 years old macbook pro too hard with 2 IDEs, 1 instance of datagrip, and tons of open browser tabs, all on 4gb of RAM..6
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When an intern gives me suggestions on technology stack to use for the new application I'm building...4
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You know your day is gonna be bad when it's Monday and you are told to work on a badly written legacy flash application!
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15 years back when I was in my highschool I was taught HTML. I created a 3x3 table of images with border without using any CSS while other kids were looking around confused what to do. Opened the same in IE and felt I was a professional web developer. Simpler times!1
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"Whenever there is a decline in quality of code and rise of bugs and errors oh dear coder, I manifest to show the path of bug and error free coding" said code-god
- Chapter 1 Verse 1, Code Gita -
Just started a new job at a big co.
Expected to implement small new feature, no sweat about 30 LOC. Unfortunately no unit tests, no way to test without real data.
Spend 2 weeks trying to get it to run on the test rack. Lo and behold the entire testing system has been sitting broken for months and nobody knew. Why is all the documentation so vague!???5 -
Having fun looking at android developer struggling to replicate 'str_split()' function from PHP in Java :-D3
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Shoutout to any CommBank developers, I've been dreading going in to a branch to open an account - turns out it's only a 3 minute exercise using the website 😌👏 👏1
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Brewmaster.
I've been brewing my own beer for about 6 months now and super positive feedback keeps on coming :)2 -
developer oriented saas? well yeah, you could've at least develop a decent SDK for one language, or just let people send JSON payloads instead of XMLs..a**holes
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Python file truncate instead of actually deleting file contents...
there goes a weekend of log backups.. FML -
Just spent a lot of time on custom building an Ubuntu docker container, and forgot to save the image before I accidentally reset the whole thing to blank1
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Name a more 2018/2019 New Year’s Eve.. We used a new emoji in a commit message and it borked the CI pipeline.3
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I haven't seen Gary Bernhardt's presentations linked in here yet, hopefully thats because everyones already seen them - but if you haven't, prepare yourself:
https://destroyallsoftware.com/talk...1 -
Sometimes I need to talk about what I create. Which requires fucking Powerpoint 'cause you have to distribute your shit to dorks who only can live with this crap.
And then every single fucking time I touch that stinking abscess I have visions of shoving some white glowing rod of spiky steel up the arseholes of the inventors and maintainers of Powerpoint, enjoying their screams and regretting that I will be able to enjoy this exquisite pleasure only once per asshole.3 -
So I developed this proxy server that will throttle down API calls to one of our providers so we don't get blocked for TOS violation...
Some dude had a tool running all day long which crashed 2 minutes before I left work.
This literally ruined my day until I recalled it's all cached!!!!
Mood is back again and I deserve my beer! -
Fuck DS-Lite with a rusty rod covered in sand. Also fuck 4to6tunnel.
Boy I really need to take a networking class, this is driving me nuts -
!rant
Any links to start learning game server programming using C++? I know network programming using C# currently and built a game server emulator also. I want to start C++ network programming for windows now...8 -
Question: can I describe OOP as "not in a loop, doesn't use interrupts" ?
I don't know much outside of OOP so describing it is like describing life, hard.9 -
Getting started with Python's asyncio is probably the worst experience I've had with the language in 2+ years I've been using it.2
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Playing around with a POC I'm doing for work, and it works so well I got an IP ban from one of my favorite websites for a massive amount of requests they got from me
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So I've been on vacation for a week now, still two days to go until I get back to work.
It's been super fun, but I am getting pretty stressed about the shit-ton of work I have to do when I come back.
How do you let go?2 -
Does anyone work on a bunch of local NPM modules wanna describe their workflow for local dev vs deploy?
I’ve got mine but it feels a little trashy. It’s basically one npm script to link all the local modules for dev and another which will npm install them in prod - is there a better way without adding more build tools?1 -
Going over some NodeJS code, and I feel like the scene from "Dude Where's My Car" - "And then....And then..."
Coming from almost three years of 99% python, this hurts my eyes so much1 -
@dfox Quick feature request. Checking for duplicate comment or rant and hiding them. On erratic connections impatient coders like me press submit button multiple times making duplicate posts!10
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When a junior developer forks new feature branch from his old feature branch and not from develop branch causing merge conflicts later!1
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Manual EC2 instances + Elastic load balancer or Elastic beanstalk for a PHP 7 application? I might have some cron jobs to be run too...
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That rabbit in my grandpa's left table drawer, in the home I grew at. I wanted to finally catch it, and kill it. I was bad with animals all along, especially this one. My grandpa died the year before I was born, and my grandma said we would've got along really well. So much to talk about, a scientist to an engineer. So, I travelled back, but my home somehow turned from a city stone-walled house into a half-soaked, decaying wooden one. I caught that rabbit though, but while I was holding it at its neck and twisting it, it somehow disappeared, distributed evenly as if I were twisting a crayon. I was trying to find it, but in that left drawer, among century-old pencils and that red liquid thermometer I played with as a kid, only a faded out, dusty duckling resided. I picked it up, and unlike the rabbit, it was paper, no, cigarette paper thin. It wasn't hostile. It wasn't trying to run away. It just turned from yellow to grey, feathers leaving my fingers covered in fine dust. I realized it will never die, dwelling and decaying there forever, happy.
I did my calculations, and I knew for a fact when and where the rabbit should've appeared. It was the middle drawer, not the left one. I opened it and looked in anticipation how something chewed through the bottom. I caught it, but it was no rabbit, it was an alive, rubber rat. The rubber was white turned grey, old, aged, dusty, probably Soviet. I poked the rat's eye with a pen rod, but the rat's body inflated a bit, leaving it invincible. It was mocking me.
Of the same white rubber, a ball appeared. I knew for a fact it was alive too, I felt the bones inside holding it. I found its lips, and was prying it open. The massive, dry mouth emerged, with a full set of human teeth, albeit wider and nastier ones. Huge eyes looked at me. It was alive, it was intelligent. It was my grandpa's personal financial assistant all along. It told me to leave the rat and the rabbit alone. He told me not to worry about the ducking, as it was in safe hands.
It made friends with my brother during the "blue age", when he was wearing thin, worn out rugs instead of clothes, tiny faded blue flowers on them, screaming and annoying my grandma he lived with in that room, not a single person other than the two in sight. The house was slowly submerging. The water was rising.2 -
The spring framework, it took a pain in the arse language {java} and turned into something reasonably good again! Props to Rod Johnson on that one4
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Writing DAL code that I am 99% sure will be replaced really soon along with the database schema.
Angry coding is almost as good as tipsy coding - AMAZING. -
So I just refreshed LinkedIn and it has a new look.
It's so bad I can now remember Microsoft bought LinkedIn a couple of months back every time I look at it1 -
Need recommendation on which server side language/framework to use along with my new react native app.
Thanks3 -
If A.I steals all dev jobs then I will become physicist and build time machine like in terminator movie ;-)
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Finance lady keeps turning the air conditioning off.
It's either sticky note on the controller or R&D vs. finance lady on an on/off battle...
What do you say? -
Camembert cheese in the fridge is great, but how can one survive without the stronger Nespresso capsules ;(
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Read about concepts that are new to me and try to implement them.
Code reviews with experienced devs -
on one hand - softlayer is way less intuitive than aws...
on the other hand - when your boss tells you you can bring up up to $1000 monthly valued servers, you can forget about the first hand1 -
No rants about new MacBook pro generation? Obviously one must rant about the absolute need to buy adapters to connect keyboard&mouse (let's be honest, BT devices out there are mostly nowhere near ergonomic)1
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Installing the entire system on new machines. Too many configuration files and too much manual work. (New workplace, haven’t automated it yet)
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Ex-manager keeps trying to boss me around. Not only that- he now tries to get fame for a project I’ve been doing for six months that he actively avoided managing...
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Anyone else having trouble with apt-get install in EC2 instance of region US-East-1? Seems it's too slow currently!
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So I spent about a day on this brilliant priority calculation formula just to come to the conclusion that FIFO would be a better approach for now1
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POCing a neural network thing.
Luckily it's a shallow network, but it's taking a frickin' eternity to train :( -
so they brought a senior engineer to our (very small) dev team. I feel like poking my eyes with a nail looking on his code.1
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Having no human contact for work since starting an internship over year ago and now through January now sucks, but what’s worse is the rug being pulled out from under me
The office isn’t even that nice it’s really just about talking to people1