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Search - "techo"
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Does anyone else have that one guy or gal you work with that's ALWAYS the one to find the weirdest, inexplicable bugs possible? Yup. That's me. Here's some fun examples.
*Unplugs monitor from laptop, causing kernel panic*
*Mouse moves in reverse when inside canvas*
*Program fails to compile, yet compiler blames a syntax error that doesn't exist*
*malloc on the first line of a program causes a segfault*
And for how the conversation usually goes
Me: "[coworker], mind taking a look at this?"
Coworker: "Sure.This better not be another one of 'your bugs'. ... ... ... Well, if you need me I'll be at my desk."
Me: "So you know what's causing it?"
Coworker: "Nope. I've accepted that you're cursed and you should do the same."8 -
App developers, the fastest way for me to uninstall your application is for you to start sending push notifications for things that are completely unnecessary. They won't remind me to use the app. They'll remind me to uninstall it.12
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Dumb ass management. Picked a different technology for us without consulting our technical team...3
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Me: The phone rings but when I pick up there's nothing there.
Indian call center: Okay sir can you tell me if the landline is plugged into the modem
Me: It's ringing. Yes, it's plugged in.
Indian call center: Okay we'll reset the modem.
Me: I already did that. Twice. Just to be able to speak to you because the robot made me.
Indian call center: Okay so we'll reset your modem again.
*resets*
Indian call center: Do you get a dial tone now?
Me: Yes. I have this entire time. No one can call me.
Indian call center: Sir that is not possible.
Me: Call it and see for yourself.
Indian call center: *calls, phone hangs up for them the second I answer*
Why did you hang up on me, sir?
Me: *internal screaming*3 -
Arts and crafts: developer version.
Context: spent all day making an ER diagram from an awful SQL query I was handed. Got sick of asking for it from the contractor who made the DB.
Yes, that's one query.25 -
I unfriended every person at work on my Facebook except 2. I don’t know how I let my social media become so open to folks I work with. 😒3
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If you have not tried Google then I don't know what kind of developer you are... Exhaust all resources then Google.1
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I swear performance is the last thing on the minds of some developers. It’s going to be a long weekend for me.2
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Other than being an a**hole, Linus. Guy changed computing as we know it with a little pet project59
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I spent 4 hours finding a good way to instanciate golang structures. Came up with a function that returned a value or pointer and I just kept reusing the nomenclature for an entire project. Then my buddy looks over and goes, "Ethan, you're a f****** idiot", and shows me the standard nomenclature. Now I have to refactor my entire project. FML.
(Edit: typo)13 -
I've always been critical of python as a development language because of it's efficiency issues and the fact that it's essentially pseudocode. However, today I had to reflect 200 coordinated over the line x=355 for a course lab and I hella didn't feel like doing it in my normal languages. Wrote it using python in less than 2 minutes. It might be a bad language for efficiency, but it's one hell of a scripting language. Sorry, python. I never fully appreciated you until now.15
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If anyone has been keeping up with my data warehouse from hell stories, we're reaching the climax. Today I reached my breaking point and wrote a strongly worder email about the situation. I detailed 3 separate cases of violated referential integrity (this warehouse has no constraints) and a field pulling from THE WRONG FLIPPING TABLE. Each instance was detailed with the lying ER diagram, highlighted the violating key pairs, the dangers they posed, and how to fix it. Note that this is a financial document; a financial document with nondeterministic behavior because the previous contractors' laziness. I feel like the flipping harbinger of doom with a cardboard sign saying "the end is near" and keep having to self-validate that if I was to change anything about this code, **financial numbers would change**, names would swap, description codes would change, and because they're edge cases in a giant dataset, they'll be hard to find. My email included SQL queries returning values where integrity is violated 15+ times. There's legacy data just shoved in ignoring all constraints. There are misspellings where a new one was made instead of updating, leaving the pk the same.
Now I'd just put sorting and other algos, but the data is processed by a crystal report. It has no debugger. No analysis tools. 11 subreports. The thing takes an hour to run and 77k queries to the oracle backend. It's one of the most disgusting infrastructures I've ever seen. There's no other solution to this but to either move to a general programming language or get the contractor to fix the data warehouse. I feel like I've gotten nowhere trying to debug this for 2 months. Now that I've reached what's probably the root issue, the office beaucracy is resisting the idea of throwing out the fire hazard and keeping the good parts. The upper management wants to just install sprinklers, and I'm losing it. -
I just... don't have the motivation to code. This thing that once gave me chills and joy for hours now feels tedious.
I still love programming. My depression is starting to win, that's all. Tearing up trying to write this.
Oh and yeah, my coworker just knocked out the entire staging Oracle database, so there's that.5 -
I had a standing ovation at my first talk at a conference. I was so nervous at first and then it was easy afterwards. I wonder if I should do more talks. Anyone have any experience doing this that can give some advice?9
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I just met a whole new level of obnoxious scam mail: Google calendar invites. WTH. You can't even block it.7
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I just had a professor unironically ask why students are stressed all the time. Education has changed. The insane assessments and workload make a healthy work-life balance impossible. There's no love of learning when the pace is shoved down your throat.7
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I am beyond fucking frustrated at this point. I feel pretty confident that I was just blocked from getting a position at work because they believe the current team I am on will fall a part without me. I’ve asked for a backup for years but they never got one for me. I have great folks on my team but despite knowledge transfers, they just don’t get it. I am ready to grow within the company, develop better soft skills, learn more about the other groups etc. but I don’t have the opportunity to. Also, I was passed up for someone outside of our group to manage our team a few years back despite being the lead since day 1. That’s two promotions I’ve been denied despite getting exceeds on every review I’ve ever had. I am so pissed that they would do that to me.5
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! rant
Sorry but I'm really, really angry about this.
I'm an undergrad student in the United States at a small state college. My CS department is kinda small but most of the professors are very passionate about not only CS but education and being caring mentors. All except for one.
Dr. John (fake name, of course) did not study in the US. Most professors in my department didn't. But this man is a complete and utter a****le. His first semester teaching was my first semester at the school. I knew more about basic programming than he did. There were more than one occasion where I went "prof, I was taught that x was actually x because x. Is that wrong?" knowing that what I was posing was actually the right answer. Googled to verify first. He said that my old teachings were all wrong and that everything he said was the correct information. I called BS on that, waited until after class to be polite, and showed him that I was actually correct. Denied it.
His accent was also really problematic. I'm not one of those people who feel that a good teacher needs a native accent by any standard (literally only 1 prof in the whole department doesn't), but his English was *awful*. He couldn't lecture for his life and me, a straight A student in high school, was almost bored to sleep on more than one occasion. Several others actually did fall asleep. This... wasn't a good first impression.
It got worse. Much, much worse.
I got away with not having John for another semester before the bees were buzzing again. Operating systems was the second most poorly taught class I've ever been in. Dr John hadn't gotten any better. He'd gotten worse. In my first semester he was still receptive when you asked for help, was polite about explaining things, and was generally a decent guy. This didn't last. In operating systems, his replies to people asking for help became slightly more hostile. He wouldn't answer questions with much useful information and started saying "it's in chapter x of the textbook, go take a look". I mean, sure, I can read the textbook again and many of us did, but the textbook became a default answer to everything. Sometimes it wasn't worth asking. His homework assignments because more and more confusing, irrelavent to the course material, or just downright strange. We weren't allowed to use muxes. Only semaphores? It just didn't make much sense since we didn't need multiple threads in a critical zone at any time. Lastly for that class, the lectures were absolutely useless. I understood the material more if I didn't pay attention at all and taught myself what I needed to know. Usually the class was nothing more than doing other coursework, and I wasn't alone on this. It was the general consensus. I was so happy to be done with prof John.
Until AI was listed as taught by "staff", I rolled the dice, and it came up snake eyes.
AI was the worst course I've ever been in. Our first project was converting old python 2 code to 3 and replicating the solution the professor wanted. I, no matter how much debugging I did, could never get his answer. Thankfully, he had been lazy and just grabbed some code off stack overflow from an old commit, the output and test data from the repo, and said it was an assignment. Me, being the sneaky piece of garbage I am, knew that py2to3 was a thing, and used that for most of the conversion. Then the edits we needed to make came into play for the assignment, but it wasn't all that bad. Just some CSP and backtracking. Until I couldn't replicate the answer at all. I tried over and over and *over*, trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and could find Nothing. Eventually I smartened up, found the source on github, and copy pasted the solution. And... it matched mine? Now I was seriously confused, so I ran the test data on the official solution code from github. Well what do you know? My solution is right.
So now what? Well I went on a scavenger hunt to determine why. Turns out it was a shift in the way streaming happens for some data structures in py2 vs py3, and he never tested the code. He refused to accept my answer, so I made a lovely document proving I was right using the repo. Got a 100. lol.
Lectures were just plain useless. He asked us to solve multivar calculus problems that no one had seen and of course no one did it. He wasted 2 months on MDP. I'd continue but I'm running out of characters.
And now for the kicker. He becomes an a**hole, telling my friends doing research that they are terrible programmers, will never get anywhere doing this, etc. People were *crying* and the guy kept hammering the nail deeper for code that was honestly very good because "his was better". He treats women like delicate objects and its disgusting. YOU MADE MY FRIEND CRY, GAVE HER A BOX OF TISSUES, AND THEN JUST CONTINUED.
Want to know why we have issues with women in CS? People like this a****le. Don't be prof John. Encourage, inspire, and don't suck. I hope he's fired for discrimination.11 -
SOLID and KISS principles are necessary when building enterprise apps. Some people don’t think about design and make things complicated when it should be simple. 😒1
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Would you all move your family to Seattle for a job at a software giant like Microsoft or Amazon?10
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Okay, friends. I have a challenge. Who can make the sneakiest memory leak example? I need to stump a class of students with something only valgrind can find and I'm having a hard time.5
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Watching IT crowd AGAIN after seeing a joke my brother didn't understand. Lol. (A fire? At a sea parks?)
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Okay, Google. Stop this.
I'm very upset. Drive applications have gotten slower and slower over time on every single browser that isn't chromium based. This isn't their fault. You can't make your application, that tons of institutions pay for, gradually slower on every browser that's not yours. This never used to be a problem, and now it affects everyone *but you*. It's highly suspicious given your track record with YouTube. Hidden div over the video to prevent hardware optimization. What the hell?
You used to be the only big 4 company I had some trust left in. Over the last few months, I've lost it.11 -
Don’t use an array with index to get a value without checking the length. Don’t use an object without checking for null.
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Got hooooot pink coloured pair of beats for my birthday!!! Best gift ever! Two most things I like is music and code this is the perfect gift! Pink is the only problem but fuck it. I love theseeeee!!!19
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I love adding documentation in a sprint and then it prevents us from releasing a product because someone did not finish the story. *doing Agile wrong*
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Weird thought.
Everyone seems to hate electron. It's one of the strongest cross platform developing environments though, so everyone uses it.
Google recently made 2 new platforms, flutter and dart, designed for cross platform applications... but then why is project fuschia's entire UI built in, you guessed it, dart and flutter?
I think Google is trying to make an electron replacement, endorse and grow it in fuschia, and have it grow as the new (resource friendlier) electron.
Of course, only my ramblings. Take with a grain of salt.5 -
Oracle, please get your crap together.
If you really wanted to make an amazing replacement for Java swing, you could have made the scene builder application for javafx not crash every 15 minutes on macOS. Seriously. I can't go more than a half hour without it freezing up and/or having the window disappear, never to open again. I get that it's a complicated program, but it's 10 YEARS OLD. It should have been stable by now.4 -
my professor expects a full copyright documentation as well as pre post return and other conditions on top of every function in our entire project and she gave us a week to do it. Note that this is in rails. Please help me.9
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My blog has a massive build up of posts that have a start but not released yet. It's like a guilt list every time I log in. Anyone else go through this?1
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I love when a project puts a dependency on infrastructure that has not been implemented internally and have no idea if it will work. *sarcastic voice*1
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Whoever made the Crystal Reports language, screw you and your silent syntax errors. Sincerely, guy stuck maintaining reports.5
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More and more declining respect for programmers, unrealistic expectations from managers, and worse and worse code as everyone becomes dependent on taking modern hardware for granted.
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Excel literally has internal support for treating other excel workbooks as SQL databases, encouraging end-users to do that instead of using MS Access properly, and *it doesn't even work*.5
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Popular opinion: AI is nothing more than complicated algorithms that no one appreciated before and probably never will. 99.9% of all coding would be AI if mainstream media had their way.5
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Just found a crystal subreport with 33 shared variables. For those who don't know what that is (lucky), they're super global variables that exist everywhere.
Please send help. I'm supposed to refactor this...19 -
SO sucks.
I'm looking for a community there I can learn good code practices through code review, but getting into a huge established open source project is really intimidating. Anyone have any good suggestions? My skill set is mostly Java and go2 -
I spent 13 hours on a class project using c only to not finish because malloc had a mind of its own and kept segfaulting with errno 16, or "resource busy". Fml.6
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Dear Xcode,
You are a lovely IDE. Especially when an app crashes and the crash stops once I restart you. I am your friend forever.
Yours always,
Slick mouth/Pissed Off Developer4 -
Years ago, I would go on forever with my personal projects. I got so much stuff done I almost couldn't believe it. Today, I just can't. My mental health the last 2 or so years has made me lose interest in everything and i can't even describe how much I hate it. What are you supposed to do when a recruiter asks you why you haven't done much the past 2 years? Say you had mental health problems? Sure they're not allowed to discriminate because of mental health concerns, but they do. I feel like I have to lie on the US disability form, no matter how minor the problem is for the company and little it affects my work ethic. But then, when I'm late more than most because I barely slept or couldn't will myself to get up in the morning, now i can't explain myself.
If anyone here does recruiting or interviewing, please realize that happy face we show at an interview is sometimes a mask for deeper problems we feel we can't admit because we won't be hired. I hate that terrible events made my already inbalanced neurotransmitters worse, but that doesn't mean I will be a worse employee. Please look at me for my skills and enthusiasm for software engineering. That one detail shouldn't be what makes you say no.1 -
People have to realize that people are unique no matter the skill set. You can replace the skill set but not the person.1
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How do you all dress in the workplace? Do you wear a uniform (similar clothes daily) or dress up? I think devs should never have to dress up to work but maybe that is just my weird opinion.13
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I am on a conference call and I have this system admin saying it is hard to create a Windows virtual server. And so it starts... *eye roll* 😒😒😒
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Sometimes developers forget how to take a pragmatic approach to solve issues. Just because it is shiny does not mean it is right for the job.
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When you ask someone for something and they say this is how we've always done it. 😩😩😩. I die a little on the inside.2
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Whoever wrote this line of code... please take on a different profession.
`else if len(LEFT({ODWR_CLAIMSNAPSHOT.POLICY_TYPE}, 3)) > 0 then`6 -
Just office things.
"Yes Dr, we do cover the corpse as part of our policy if such a case occurs."
Something about the corpse falling off a gurney and breaking something from what I could tell. Granted, it's dead already. People love to sue. -
Microsoft, why did you put a index base modifier command into VBA if 2/3 of your built in libraries ignore it?
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Yubikey: Worth it?
I'm a college student with way too many logins and offend reusing passwords. I also do password semantics research at the institution and know how useless they are.4 -
Me: Why can't we use WCF according to standards (even though my team has been using it anyway?
Him: Because we could not figure out how to implement it. o_O
Help me please! -
My patience for making guis has completely died, and it's making my open source work... fustrating. Tried QT, tried GTK+, tried swing, and JavaFX. Can't tell if I just suck at it or I'm on to something.
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My reason to use Xamarin... I like Swift but I just don’t want to write my app UI 3 different times.
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Anyone have keyboard recommendations below $50 USD? I can't stand the one my office provides anymore. Flipping thing is a $10 piece of garbage that comes with the computers. Note that noise is an issue.16
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Started using Django today after working with rails for a long time. I like it so much more already.5
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I see managers micromanage by having a junior developer to track the things people are doing. Micromanagement is truly a trickle down issue. They learn it from their managers and so on.
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So here I am, in a summer course for IMM introduced in JavaScript. I knew I wasn't going to be a fan of the insane junk it does. I just didn't expect to see it IMMEDIETLY.
var size = 1;
#ps5.js draw loop
size += 1;
print(size);1 -
It’s frustrating when an issue is so much bigger than you can control and people in IT that should understand don’t get it.
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sap_crystal_reports_crash_count++;
fustration++;
anger++;
hatred_for_sap++;
// Every time a report crashes, it doesn't free the
// resources until the whole machine crawls to a
// halt. Why.1 -
I simplified 7 functions down to a blob because it was truly unreadable and fragmented. As I did it, I thought there was no way I did it right. This can't be the logic. Nope. It is.
Yeah, the formatting could be better. End of the shift so that's a tomorrow thing.10 -
Working with Crystal reports, getting ready to deploy my changes. Guess what? My tiny changes to output has successfully broken 12 other fields, and 1 that is in absolutely no way related! Comes right from the database!
And it's crystal, so there's no debugger or logging. Plus, the report takes an hour to run! Today's gonna be a fun one!6 -
That moment you remember that yesterday you said "that's a tomorrow me problem" and you're that tomorrow you.1
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There's no good way to describe the feeling of fixing a bug but having no idea how you did it. You stash, hard reset, toy around, fix it again... and still don't know what you did, but decide, "Eh. Whatever I guess."
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Followup to https://devrant.com/rants/2178597/...
It gets worse.
`if len(Replace({ODWR_CLAIMSNAPSHOT.LIMIT_DESCR}, '/', '-')) > 0`5 -
Okay, legit.
I have protanopia (red color blindness) and red text on a screen is always difficult to focus my eyes on. It's like I have different focal points for the screen in general and red text. Is this just a me thing, or am I onto something?12 -
I hate trying to explain the difference between vendor and internal development. There is a clear difference. Siloed information and profit are important with a vendor to maintain the relationship with the customer. There are no real motives to do things at the best interest of the business with vendor development. Internal development is the exact opposite. There is a time where you need both but some kind of decision tree should be made around that. #rantoff
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I just pulled an all-nighter for some homework for grad school with a good friend and now I have 2 deployments today. Guess I can come off my coffee hiatus because I need it! This day is going to long unlike my patience.
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I am down a rabbit hole already this morning. Spending lots of time looking at contradictory information on HttpClient in C#... Interesting stuff!1
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Why must I have every skill set and others have only one? People have high standards for me and it can be exhausting.
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I don't look forward to iOS 10. They broke so much on iOS 9 as an Enterprise developer. I am scared. Haha!1
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grrgerefaeornvadfvnafvalfbv!!!!!!! *smashes keyboard*
Crystal reports, when given a null value into a display string, will just ignore everything and output a blank.3 -
After a long week of meetings for facilitation and making sure everyone else is good, it always ends like this... "Guess I will code that this weekend." 😫😫😫
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I hate waiting on a preview of an SDK from Microsoft that should have the support for the feature in the first place. I should be able to query a view without needing a primary key. I am tired of making workarounds. Come on EF Core 2.1 preview! You’re killing me! Back to ADO.NET for now.
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I couldn't find a program for this so I'm making one. Cli based. Have a json object you need to unmarshal in golang? Yeah I was getting tired AF making structs for all of them with the json tag name over and over, so I'm mid way through a python script that generates the structs for you. I'll link it here when I'm done.
And if you're wondering why python? Dynamic object definitions. That's why it's trouble in go in the first place.3 -
If there existed a framework like pytest for other languages, would you use it?
If that framework made those tests part of the documentation to show how the system works, would you be more likely to?2