This story is 100% true.

I got hired onto a team of construction workers to build a house. We set up a meeting with Management to find out what kind of house they wanted us to build, where’s the floor plan, what it’s going to be used for, who it’s for, etc. Management said that they didn’t know all that, we should just get started. They told us that we were going to use “Agile” which means that we just work on small deliverables and build the thing incrementally.

The developer team lead argued that we at least need to know how big the thing is going to be so that we can get started pouring the foundation, but Management told him they just don’t know. “What we do know,” Management said, “is that the house is going to have a bathroom. Just start there, and we’ll know more when it’s done. You have two weeks.”

So we just bought a port-a-potty, and screwed around on the internet for two weeks. Management was outraged. “You call this a house? This is the worst house ever! It doesn’t even have a tv!”

So we bought a tv and put it in the port-a-potty, attached to an outdoor generator. We were going to buy a a dvd player and get it hooked up to cable, but Management rejected the expense request, saying that they didn’t know if we needed it, and we’d come back to that later.

Management decided that we definitely need storage space, so we bought a boxcar and duct-taped the port-a-potty to it. Then to our horror they set up some desks and put a few miserable business interns in there. It went on like this…

After a few years the boxcar grew into a huge, ramshackle complex. It floods, leaks, it’s frozen in the winter and an oven in the summer. You have to get around in a strange maze of cardboard tubes, ladders and slides. There are two equally horrible separate buildings. We’re still using just the one outdoor generator for all power, so electricity is tightly rationed.

Communication between the buildings was a problem. For one of them, we use a complex series of flag signals. For the other we write notes on paper, crumple the paper up, and toss it over. Both of these methods were suggested as jokes, but Management really liked them for some reason. The buildings mostly talk to each other but they have to talk through us, so most of what we do is pass messages on.

It was suggested that we use paper airplanes instead of crumpled up balls, but the fat, awkward fingers of the Business Majors who inevitably take those jobs couldn’t be trained to make them. I built an awesome automatic paper airplane folder, but once again they couldn’t be trained to use it, so they just went back to crumpling the notes up in balls.

The worst part of all this is that it’s working. Everyone is miserable, but the business is making money. The bright side is that this nightmare complex is done so now we know what kind of building they actually needed in the first place, so we can start work on it. Obviously we can’t tell Management anything about what we’re doing until it’s finished. They noticed the gigantic hole in the ground where the foundation is coming in, but we told them that it’s a cache reset, and they mostly ignore it except when the occasional customer falls in.

I’ll probably be out of here before the new building gets finished. I could get a 50% raise by switching jobs, but Management still doesn’t think I should get a raise because I missed a couple sprints.

Me and my git repo

Father bought a PC in 1997. Back then very few had it. I learned doing things like accessing the internet and sending emails, among others. I remember having added age on websites to be allowed to sign up at times :P My sisters used to play games on it sometimes. The first few ones we had were Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation, Tomb Raider Chronicles, American McGee's Alice(Which caused us to upgrade the PC xD)... And some others.

I have a memory of this pseudo-3D-looking game where you move in a maze and try answering questions. I want to remember its name, but I cannot :(

We literally have video evidence of me liking the computer as a child, yet my parents either say I'm addicted or deny I've ever liked it before. Not only that, but continuously limiting my time with the PC hasn't been a literal obstacle in my way of trying to do things in their opinion. Funny how my parents think the last few years I've been my worst when they've hurt me in those years so much that our relationship is guaranteed not working out. There were doubts in my head before, but now it's cemented and there is no way of going back. Father, for example, tells me it's too late to do anything with a PC now(As well as how I've been unable to use the PC. He looks at these pro players' footage in some TV show and he's like, „You've been unable to use your hobbies“, as if they have never ever screamed at me for perceived gaming and not actually cared to check), and I need to look for a „real“ job.

Sorry. I went to bed at 2:00 in the morning. Feel like a zombie because of ongoing weirdly insufficient sleep, even though I sleep kinda more than normal. Even when I took Melatonine for that it didn't help at all.

Childhood was where beating began. I was about 6/7. Right when I entered school. The first school that I attended was a private one and supposedly for „Wunderkinds“, while in reality I haven't seen a SINGLE teacher or psychologist approve of it, their argument being that children were basically drowned in work that wasn't age-appropriate(I don't mean anything bad. Just that teaching about Galaxies and all in first grade isn't the brightest idea). There was always a mountain of homework to do and as opposed to some other countries, we had to do it on a day to day basis. We didn't have a week-long deadline. I was predictably not keeping up with it as I could have, had it been a normal amount, so my parents decided I didn't want to study and began their methods of getting me to „study“. I have yet to see a person able to keep up with that school's tempo, no matter the age.

This place was also where I got bullied. I felt I had nowhere to be: At home, the parents' situation, at school, the bully. I never really went outside to play with other children, so I missed that part of childhood.

After the second year of school I was transferred to an advanced German school, called like that because they taught German and not English there. I also got to learn a bit of Russian before they removed it from school. In that period I used to attend ballet. But for less than a year. And piano, which I remember having attended for quite a long while, some years, if my memory isn't fried. I quit it because of it having been forced on me. Last piece I ever played fully was Beethoven's Marmotte.

In this school I was once again the outcast of the class. I had some people to interact with. All of those interactions lasted a few years at most. Then, because of a part of my class choosing me as a laughing-stock N2 and another girl as the N1, I found my best friend, who I still have today. She's the only friend I have nearby.

Most of the time I hated myself. Even today I struggle with that sometimes.

After that came university. This us where I got something like a friend circle at last. But it still didn't last. I got in a relationship with one of the guys, but I was just attracted. There was another I couldn't dare getting close to. Turns out he also had something for me. Then he disappeared from our lives and a year after, I still cannot forget the person. If I want to, I have to deprive myself of my own personality. Not a thing I'm willing to give up. Then I broke up with the guy I was in a relationship with and completely disappeared from the friendship circle. To be honest, I had reasons to. They refused to even try to look for the guy and they called him a friend for years. Sometimes parents hitting me can occur even today, but if I REALLY piss them off.

Now I'm here and oh, my God, I'm officially am aunt now! My sister gave birth to a daughter this morning... She's in Berlin with mother and both she and the child are doing great. I just hope she manages to be a good mother.

Dude: Come on man, Google and/or Facebook are not actively listening to us, I mean, we're not terrorists.
Me: Ok, Google
Google Asistant: How can I help you?
Dude: ._.

Fuck these movie people:
You run "sudo apt-get update.." and you say we've got the signal. Your f*cking signal! Am sure someone even typed the password for you. I update my system every 5 minutes I have got no signal. F*ck you again. I'm not watching the movie again. P*ssing me off.

Hard decision...

Thanks for these cool stickers :)

!rant
Dark theme is the best, I love dark themes.

Interviewer: Here is the interview challenge. Tell me what the expected output is. You have 5 minutes.

** 100 line class with 4 async methods that contain if/thens nested 4 layers deep that call each other and log things to the console

Dev: Ok wow this is a bit of a maze to work through but I’ll try my best.

** 1 minute later of reading through the code

Interviewer: One minute has elapsed. There is now 4 minutes remaining.

Dev: Actually could you please not interject with time updates like that while I’m reading code? It makes the challenge harder than necessary. Just letting me know when the time is up would be fine.

Interviewer: Ok.

** ~2 minutes later trying to comb through this spaghetti mess

Interviewer: What do you think are you getting close to figuring it out?

Dev: …

Every time I need to check loop iterations.

This is bullshit.

We've got a project where we need to build a robot that can:
A. Follow a line.
B. Avoid obstacles
C. Go through a maze.

This, in itself, is fine. I can manage.

The problem is, the teacher that is supposed to support the course, is never where he's supposed to be.
Ie: he was supposed to be in the classroom to answer questions and give feedback yesterday from 09:00 to 13:00. The fucker didn't fuckin show up.

OK, so today, he's supposed to be here too, I've been sat in his classroom without him waiting for over an hour...

Also, no way I can do the maze part without knowing what defines a fucking blocked path, is it going to be a physical object or is the line going to be a different cor if you're not allowed to pass there?

I'm getting tired of this bs.

I just found a game (have not played it yet) that I think everyone here will cream over.

It's an insanely detailed hardware/ low level/ make-your-own-computer game.

I watched the trailer and it sets you up by teaching you logic gates and basic circuitry.

Then, it eventually teaches you how to build your own computer using these gates.

Then, you start creating your own assembly language using the computer you made.

Then, you use your computer to solve problems like sending a robot through a maze or just building snake on a display.

Absolutely check it out, it's on sale for $13 USD. I just bought it. Turing Complete on Steam.

Graduation day:

A guy presents a modified pathfinding algorithm based on a*, in Java.
Jumping to the conclusions, he says he tested the algorithm on a 128x128 graph based maze, but not larger because the program saturates his 4 GB ram pc.

One teacher (algorithms and data structures) literally jumps from the chair "you saturate 4gb of ram with a* on 128x128 graph?!"

Best graduation day ever lol

Sitting in an "Advanced Python" course (paid by my employer), I kicked something under my desk. I hope those guys know Python better than they know electrical security measures...

Heh.. Came across my first PC last week :) oh the nostalgy... Entity, Mach3, wolfeinstein 3d, Dangerous Dave in a haunted mansion and a guy pushing boxes in a 2d maze.

DOS, nc and windows 3.1 [in that pile of 5" floppies bottom left].

oh the times!

Whenever I'm trying to learn a new language

I’m about to quit this job, this customer don’t care about the people, they just want quick results and people available 24/7, this is taking my mental health, I think I’ll become a farmer instead.

devRant, what else?

How I see users from my desk.

Why the fuck did Oracle change their policies on the official JDK and made the website nigh impossible to use?!

It was shit from the 90s before, and now its still shit just modern.

Why do I have to register do get the JDK, you know Im going to use the fucking 10min mail. I just wanted to setup a freaking build server and I had to go over your retarded website that for some reason *refreshes* and erases the username field everytime I put in the wrong password. Why?

Why is oracle just outright bad at making websites?! Its always a maze to navigate and now it also takes seconds to even load...

This shit is why everyone uses openJDK and adopt. 3 billion devices running java?! Not with your jre/jdk they are not, because It's a pain to get... Don't me even get started on the mess it does on windows server. Why wasn't my JAVA_HOME set automatically?! I lost almost 2 hours because I trusted your piece of shit software to so the one job it has, even reinstalled it completely...

Get your shit together Oracle, this was unacceptable 10 years ago, let alone now

So there's a new team member in the project (me & him), he's assigned to make the frontend, which is great since I'm so proficient doing back. But he starts by doing backend tasks and the fucking frontend which is the most delayed part of the project is still untouched.

Class DonaldTrump extends Shit implements Asshole {
public final boolean PRESIDENT = false;
public final String THINKING = "bullshit";
public void talk () {
System.out.println(THINKING);
}
}

Stolen’t.
A USB drive has 2 sides. So it’ll take a maximum of 2 tries to get it right.
Why does it take at least 5?

first real program was an 8x8 maze game on my ti-83+ calculator. wrote all as nested ifs, and if you took one wrong turn it'd run out of memory

So the next O’rly book I can imagine for this project is:

How did I ended in this microservices nightmare?

Last Monday I bought an iPhone as a little music player, and just to see how iOS works or doesn't work.. which arguments against Apple are valid, which aren't etc. And at a price point of €60 for a secondhand SE I figured, why not. And needless to say I've jailbroken it shortly after.

Initially setting up the iPhone when coming from fairly unrestricted Android ended up being quite a chore. I just wanted to use this thing as a music player, so how would you do it..?

Well you first have to set up the phone, iCloud account and whatnot, yada yada... Asks for an email address and flat out rejects your email address if it's got "apple" in it, catch-all email servers be damned I guess. So I chose ishit at my domain instead, much better. Address information for billing.. just bullshit that, give it some nulls. Phone number.. well I guess I could just give it a secondary SIM card's number.

So now the phone has been set up, more or less. To get music on it was quite a maze solving experience in its own right. There's some stuff about it on the Debian and Arch Wikis but it's fairly outdated. From the iPhone itself you can install VLC and use its app directory, which I'll get back to later. Then from e.g. Safari, download any music file.. which it downloads to iCloud.. Think Different I guess. Go to your iCloud and pull it into the iPhone for real this time. Now you can share the file to your VLC app, at which point it initializes a database for that particular app.

The databases / app storage can be considered equivalent to the /data directories for applications in Android, minus /sdcard. There is little to no shared storage between apps, most stuff works through sharing from one app to another.

Now you can connect the iPhone to your computer and see a mount point for your pictures, and one for your documents. In that documents mount point, there are directories for each app, which you can just drag files into. For some reason the AFC protocol just hangs up when you try to delete files from your computer however... Think Different?

Anyway, the music has been put on it. Such features, what a nugget! It's less bad than I thought, but still pretty fucked up.

At that point I was fairly dejected and that didn't get better with an update from iOS 14.1 to iOS 14.3. Turns out that Apple in its nannying galore now turns down the volume to 50% every half an hour or so, "for hearing safety" and "EU regulations" that don't exist. Saying that I was fuming and wanting to smack this piece of shit into the wall would be an understatement. And even among the iSheep, I found very few people that thought this is fine. Though despite all that, there were still some. I have no idea what it would take to make those people finally reconsider.. maybe Tim Cook himself shoving an iPhone up their ass, or maybe they'd be honored that Tim Cook noticed them even then... But I digress.

And then, then it really started to take off because I finally ended up jailbreaking the thing. Many people think that it's only third-party apps, but that is far from true. It is equivalent to rooting, and you do get access to a Unix root account by doing it. The way you do it is usually a bootkit, which in a desktop's ring model would be a negative ring. The access level is extremely high.

So you can root it, great. What use is that in a locked down system where there's nothing available..? Aha, that's where the next thing comes in, 2 actually. Cydia has an OpenSSH server in it, and it just binds to port 22 and supports all of OpenSSH's known goodness. All of it, I'm using ed25519 keys and a CA to log into my phone! Fuck yea boi, what a nugget! This is better than Android even! And it doesn't end there.. there's a second thing it has up its sleeve. This thing has an apt package manager in it, which is easily equivalent to what Termux offers, at the system level! You can install not just common CLI applications, but even graphical apps from Cydia over the network!

Without a jailbreak, I would say that iOS is pretty fucking terrible and if you care about modding, you shouldn't use it. But jailbroken, fufu.. this thing trades many blows with Android in the modding scene. I've said it before, but what a nugget!

There are people who quit coding cause of errors and stuck ups. But there are these special others, who work on Saturday, smash their keyboards on the desk and say FUCK IT.

It's 5pm whooooo!

Let's quickly bash this last query out for the day - seeing as I should have finished an hour ago anyway.

Spin up VM, it's been inactive for 6 months.... yay, login... "incorrect password" tries again "incorrect password", did I forgot it... no it's been the same for years,

ok let's try again slowly,
ok logged in,
jump into mysql,
write up this query,

join this table, join that table, join this other table, and this other, and this one, hahaha, and this one over here... sweet it's been months and I still no my way around this maze!

And now for the moment of truth... run!
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And bam, black screen, loading spinner, "Windows is updating"

NOoOooOooOooo!

Fuck it I'm out!

I am currently doing my first ever internship. It is a medium-ish sized IT company and I basically do stuff in networking and software development. I sit on my chair, wheel it back and forth the small space behind my desk for like and hour. Then I go to the cafeteria, eat whatever is there (it’s absolutely free? Hopefully). There is a pool table which is always occupied. Then I sit in the lab and configure routers till 8 in the night. Boring.
I am developing a management system side by side so I break my head over server side routes (seriously, they are confusing) over the night.
So coffee is my mantra and boring is my life.

Anti-patterns as a Service

I call that PHPrankenstein

Hello DevRant community! It’s been a while, almost 5 years to be exact. The last time I posted here, I was a newbie, grappling with the challenges of a new job in a completely new country. Oh, how time flies!

Fast forward to today, and it’s been quite the journey. The codebase that once seemed like an indecipherable maze is now my playground. The bugs that used to keep me up at night are now my morning coffee puzzles. And the team, oh the team! We’ve moved from awkward nods to inside jokes and shared victories.

But let’s talk about the real hero here - the coffee machine. The unsung hero that has fueled late-night coding sessions and early morning stand-ups. It’s seen more heated debates than the PR comments section. If only it could talk, it would probably write its own rant about the indecisiveness of developers choosing between cappuccino and latte.

And then there are the unforgettable ‘learning opportunities’ - moments like accidentally shutting down the production server or dropping the customer database. Yes, they were panic-inducing crises of apocalyptic proportions at that time, but in hindsight, they were valuable lessons. Lessons about the importance of thorough testing, proper version control, reliable backup systems, and most importantly, owning up to our mistakes.

So here’s to the victories and failures, the bugs and fixes, the refactorings and 'wontfix’s. Here’s to the incredible journey of growth and learning. And most importantly, here’s to this amazing community that’s always been there with advice, sympathy, humor, and support.

Can’t wait to see what the next 5 years bring! 🥂

One does not simply git add --all

So, I am a couple of more months in working in my new role. Learning the trade and boy do people have a lot of fucking things to say! It’s incredible the AMOUNT OF BULLSHIT these people get away with…

Background, I’ve been a software consultant for a number of companies working in different sectors in different development roles for +16 years. I built everything from RS232, iOS to BI. Shifted to permanent developer for large global corporation where I got promoted to clown.

Anyway, anyhow.

FUCK, these FUCKING people!!!

Meeting after meeting after endless pointless discussions and even more pointless fucking powerpoint presentation which if you stack them on top of each other will reach the FUCKING top floor where there are even more morons. FUCK!

There is absolutely NO cohesion, there is NO plan, short-term or long-term, no vision that can be practically implemented. There are different organizations of equal power and the result is a FUCKING MAZE.

But people travel the FUCKING GLOBE. You know, THE FUCKING PLANET EARTH, for pointless workshops and alignments (plural). FUCK!

And it’s getting worse. We’ve got consultants hiring consultants now whose job is to hire consultants. True story! And it’s not that high up the org chart either!

It’s a beast! A retarded beast.

We are NOT helping.

I got to get out of this fucking corporation. So, I am starting to design my exit strategy. The master plan.

I can't tell you how many hours have been lost because I have accidently clicked and dragged a file in to some random spot in the solution explorer!

The videoconference started and I had no shirt on, fortunately there was only one guy and he laughed but understood haha

Bruteforce lol

This is the story of the API documentation.
Which btw I couldn't find on the producent's website anywhere. I had the pdf shared with me by a coworker.

I knew the api was fucked up the moment I looked at endpoint documentation.

GET params? WHERE, ORDERBY etc. Literally make a SQL select in a GET request.

Returned stuff? The whole thing. Not some DTO, you literally get everything you can get.
Eg if you get IP in your response, you get it in several formats: dotted form, as hex, and as int. In 3 different json fields.

Oh, and regarding IP - one would imagine you can use masks or prefixes for subnets, right? Nope. The only param you can use there is the subnet size. So you have to calculate the power of 2 every time you want to make a request.

That's from the endpoint documentation. But what about some general info on the API, before all that?

As I was looking for something, I decided to read that intro and general info about the API.

Okay, so there was a change log between API versions. "removed [endpoint which sounds like correct REST design], please use [this generic thing with SQL-like GETs]"... Several of them.

And there was also this sentence which said that the API is not restful, "it's REST-like". <facepalm>

If it was a bad attempt at REST API, I would let it go. But this sentence clearly showed they knew they did everything wrong. And the changelog showed they didn't stop there, they were actively making it worse.

I just went to SO to browse questions and learn something or help someone...
And then...
THE FREAKING PRINTSCREEN OF IDE
INSTEAD OF COPYING THE CODE

And you know what's worse?
There was also a PHOTO of the output from the console.

I'm starting to love Go. I think it will be a good love story.

I can’t even be social among devs, what's wrong with me?

When you have to made a little game with javascript, and because it's your first game you made a beautiful maze with lot of wall.

Ahahah... i'm shit.
I forgot wall have collision.

I'm here now, with 40 different fuckin' walls and much if and else if conditions.

I hate me.

Yeah i know, I can just change my maze but no... I'm lazy. Cry against the collisions is better.

Have good day.

Copy-pasting faster and faster

Me: I just wanna host ‘Hello World’ on the cloud.
AWS: No problem. Have you checked all of our cool named products you’ll never understand?

I’ve gave my two week notice a week ago, and my boss it’s just avoiding to announce it to the team, people in other areas, and of course to the teammates that will take my responsibilities. What’s wrong with him? He asked me not to tell people so they can “elaborate a plan to make my exit softer for the team” and that’s great but dude, I have one week left and people is still asking me for things that I’ll not handle in a week, I feel sad about the guy that will take that shot.

I am rat in an endless spring maze.

Fuck spring and fuck spring developers.

Started a new job this week, picking up the front end development of a property management system, since they're old developer just left.

Oh my god was his code bad, inconsistent use of js versions e.g only sometimes using lambda for anonymous functions, variable names that were a single letter, no comments, no documentation, and over 30000 lines split into almost 30 js files, following the logic of it is as fun as a hedge maze with no exit.

The requirements have changed

Trying to refactor legacy code can be a real adventure. It's like exploring an ancient ruin, except instead of hidden treasures, you're uncovering cryptic code and dead ends. But the real plot twist comes when you realize there are no unit tests to guide you. It's like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded - you never know when you're going to hit a dead end and end up with a headache! 🤯

while(!Me.knowsTrendyLanguage){
keep.learning()
}

Life is to short to deal with not refactored code...

My first software.. Okay. So first time I ever attempted was with my father, i was around 8 or so, i remember very little from it, but in nutshell, i somehow ended up at his job having day off school or something, no idea.

Apparently he was bored, so he decided yo show me... Basic. Yep, thats right. Frking basic. Anyway, he shown me some really basic stuff in basic, and pushed the envelope really hard, just trying to force into me more and more in these 8hrs. I started with filling screen with "o" characters. Most of times he was telling me what to write with elaborate explanation why. At the end of the day, we finished with simple maze game where player was "o" and maze walls was #. Without any goal, or anything.

Next day i was at point 0, understood nothing from it except how to handle keystrokes (and belive me, that for me was huge mindblow, and even bigger mindblow that it actually made prefect sense).

I dont remember much, but later i started with father-assisted c++ and some pascal. I immidietly loved c++ but dropped learning it for (NullPointer) reason.

Thats not really project imho, so now time for my actual first project.

It was about time when ARK survival evolved was a fresh thing, i was playing it a lot. Server admin became buddy. We all complained about max level cap, but to change it in config you needed to input whole new xp curve.

At that time i had great familiarity with google and computers, some thought i was some kind of PC god (seriously I heard someone saying so about me lol) just becouse I could ressurect most cases of broken windows. And I had next to zero programming expirience. It was about to change. I made first c++ actual program, that was making xp curve for you. It took me just bearly 2 days and was series of cin, cout, one file open, some maths in loop, and done. Maths was very bad. But i pushed it into steam forums, and one guy responded how.bad my math was, so we colabed on making 2 iteration. Took around week. Than half a year passed and we wanted go big. Go gui. I had no freaking idea how making gui looks like. Community liked my cli tool, we had quite a lot of downloads, why not go GUI. And thats when I discovered QT framework. And we had few features in mind... It took us half a year to make it. From 60 lines of code i jumped into 1k lines of code. We pushed it and immidietly started working on 4th version with much greater customizability etc.

Than i finished 18 and found a job. Job in php. I got it becouse I made this project.

Now project is abandon. This project also gave me a lesson that donations will not feed you.

Edit: and before you think about my father that he was nice person to show me code, trust me, i dont know bigger dick than him.

Hello World?

#wk6 coolest bug: it was first year CS and we were learning data structures. the assignment was a maze solver using stacks. I couldn't figure out the issue I had and went to sleep. my dream that night was in code (one of a few times it's happened) and I woke up mid-night and typed it in and it worked. slept like a baby after that.

StressBall.push(hand.release(tension);

AWS Console is a maze!

We don't need good UX/DX when we have the big fat slice of the market right?

Stop attending to meetings.

So you’re burned out, what about you start working on weekends?

kudos to gitter

I’m having so much fun playing with DALL E 2

Can we get auto-play gifs?

When they steal your idea, oh wait

Not the most exciting bug i solved but i was very happy when i solved it!

we were working on a java game for a school project. Te game itself consists of a maze so we used a double array maze[][] to store all the Tiles of the maze. to move players around we used x and y coordinates. When we started playing we couldn't figure out why we could move through walls and go in weird directions. and finally it hit me,

java uses [y][x] , and mathematics uses (x,y)

I’d like to have a DevRant dataset so I can make some great visualizations, text analysis, etc. of the things we hate the most. This is top priority, thanks in advance.

God damn the last few days:

JUST give me some modular-ish code that is a bit more explicit and doesn't measure every fucking thing over and over.

Like I get how taking a couple .lenght and a bunch of other variables adds up to "Make a meat lovers pizza".

But fuck man when the code goes all over the place just give me a block of code that measures all that shit in ONE PLACE a god damn pizzType variable that I can use elsewhere and just fucking know what is going on.

Every damn corner becomes this maze of measurements that you cant be sure is exactly the same unless you fucking watch every damn variable, I get how that happens but god damn.

When debugging, why oh why do I forget that multiple browser consoles can be open and then get frustrated when refreshing the tab doesn't show my changes?!

Customer: The quality of the software you’re delivering is going down
Me: That’s because we’re developers, support, and spend all day on meetings without mentioning that deadlines are defined by you, not the technical team
Project Manager: I have added more members to the team so you can deliver faster
Me: That’s just slowing us down because this inherited code is shit, there’s no documentation and we’re always in a rush, without time for a proper ramp up
Customer: *throws money to our faces* I’ll remove two weeks to this delivery so we can test it better
Me: …

The Odyssey of the Tenacious Tester:

Once upon a time in the digital kingdom of Binaryburg, there lived a diligent software tester named Alice. Alice was on a mission to ensure the flawless functionality of the kingdom's latest creation – the Grand Software Citadel.

The Grand Software Citadel was a marvel, built by the brilliant developers of Binaryburg to serve as the backbone of all digital endeavors. However, with great complexity came an even greater need for meticulous testing.

Alice, armed with her trusty testing toolkit, embarked on a journey through the intricate corridors of the Citadel. Her first challenge was the Maze of Edge Cases, where unexpected scenarios lurked at every turn. With a keen eye and a knack for uncovering hidden bugs, Alice navigated the maze, leaving no corner untested.

As she progressed, Alice encountered the Chamber of Compatibility, a place where the Citadel's code had to dance harmoniously with various browsers and devices. With each compatibility test, she waltzed through the intricacies of cross-browser compatibility, ensuring that the Citadel would shine on every screen.

But the true test awaited Alice in the Abyss of Load and Performance. Here, the Citadel's resilience was put to the test under the weight of simulated user hordes. Alice, undeterred by the mounting pressure, unleashed her army of virtual users upon the software, monitoring performance metrics like a hawk.

In the end, after days and nights of relentless testing, Alice emerged victorious. The Grand Software Citadel stood strong, its code fortified against the perils of bugs and glitches.

To honor her dedication, the software gods bestowed upon Alice the coveted title of Bug Slayer and a badge of distinction for her testing prowess. The testing community of Binaryburg celebrated her success, and her story became a legend shared around digital campfires.

And so, dear software testers, let the tale of Alice inspire you in your testing quests. May your test cases be thorough, your bug reports clear, and your software resilient against the challenges of the digital realm.

In the world of software testing, every diligent tester is a hero in their own right, ensuring that the digital kingdoms stand tall and bug-free.

I wanted to accomplish new things today.

Instead I'm swimming in:

"This worked before"

- No it never worked that way, you want it to, but it never ever ever has done that thing NOT EVEN CLOSE.

"The thing..."

- Wtf is the god damn 'thing'? How could anyone possibly know what you're talking about? How do you go about life like this?

"How come we can't make it do X?"

- Because the code can't read your god damn mind, that shit isn't in the database, you don't update it and your laundry list of minor fixes for one time or non issues has resulted in you getting coded into a maze of stupid custom code so deep you're NEVER GETTING OUT!!!!

"Is your timezone before or after our timezone?"

- I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, I JUST TOLD YOU MY TIMEZONE, DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW YOUR TIMEZONE?!?!?!? IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO LOOK UP YOUR FUCKING TIMEZONE I SURE AS HELL AM NOT!!!

Last year, I made an application of A* maze-solving algorithm in class. I used a linked list and my friends used arrays. Their algorithms were way faster than mine (I remade it later :p).

OK I understand that accessing memory by address if way faster than accessing by iterations, but I also see that python lists or C# lists are really fast. How is it possible to make a list performance-proof like this? Do the python interpreter make a realloc each time you append or pop a value?

Email: "Thanks for applying to this position, after you complete this technical test, please let us know via email."

Me: Dude! I didn't even apply for that position, stop spamming 😒

I feel like I am trapped in a maze of a 20 year code base so many dead ends. Dead code...dead code everywhere

I worked 2012-2016 for a big telco company in my country and there was this HTTPS webpage with an iframe rendering any url you passed over the ?url query param plus a header with the company's logo.

I was on a meeting with some friends in charge of social media and they found it for a user report.

Unbelievable 🤷🏻‍♂️ I remember I tried the page's url itself and it rendered a loop of the header with the company's logo 😂

Uuuhhh...
- NodeAgent
- Shopixl
- Elidea
- Electriot
- Cronjabr
- 3D-Maze game
- SmartRoom
and much more...

Sometimes I compute so much that I feel like I cannot relate to most humans.

I am making a html maze game 👀 like ... Bruh!

Now I have to make updates in three different tools about the projects I’m working on, this is stupid since we work for a tech company and we shouldn’t be using fucking Power Point to update statuses on projects. Management should be making other’s life easier not harder. 🥸

My dev area of focus is more like drinking coffee and devRant. Sometimes a lil bit of backend dev.

Hey guys. Was wondering what to do when you're in college and your assignment is to code a physical robot through a maze and half of your team can barely write 'Hello World'.

Is rant a 9gag for developers?

That meeting where everybody apoints the mistakes of the organization and how nobody was going to do a shit about it.

When you automatically reach for the WASD keys on any keyboard...

When you have to follow bad practices and practically fuck yourself because of short deathlines that your boss decided without you.

So just a normal rant here. .. it was one of those moments you find in yourself in sometimes. You get so caught up in thinking you know everything that you can't implement occams razor into your everyday work routine anymore. You've worked with so many complex workarounds that when you are faced with a simple problem with a simple answer you can't see the blinking neon light shouting at you anymore , and you can't here the bells sound anymore. ..
My rant is about Me vs the infamous mikrotik router. Something I had to set up. Something I had to login to setup. Something I've done so many times before but this time , my inflated ego and overbearing sense of grandeur just could not figure out.
Class how do we login into a router? Well find your gateway and type that sucker into a browser and you will be on your way ... well that's the answer right there. But since I thought that my router was connected to three dummy switches that it would affect anything or the paranoia I had that my isp somehow disabled any connections to the router at all or that I and to open a new port to connect to it or use winbox to connect to it using only the mac address or ssh into it ..would work ...I didn't try using the tried and tested way of doing it.
I wanted it to be an adventure. I wanted it to be a problem to solve so I shoved the ordinary answer out of the way and used other methods to try and connect to it...
All I had to do was used Nmap to scan the gateway for open ports and realise to view it in the Browser on port 8080 instead and finish my journey ...
I was looking for a dragon to slay , a maze to conquer, glory at the end of my mission ... when all I felt was a sheer sense of idiocy.
--Rant Completed--

Dependencies suck.

I wanted a ruby gem and needed an older version of ruby to run it. Fine, what's the best way to get multiple ruby versions on one system, apparently rvm.

Now I want rvm.

I can't have rvm without getting gnupg first though.

Before I can get gnupg I need brew.

Now I have brew setting my computer on fire compiling god knows what so it can get gnupg so I can get rvm so I can get the ruby version I want to get the gem I want!

It's been running for quite a while...

This isn't the first or last time that the convenience of packages and versions leads to a maze like trail of prerequisites you need to follow.

I'm sure there's some tool that would've helped with my problem, but the problem shouldn't be this bad to begin with!

I understand why it happens but it still sucks and it's a lot of wasted time.

Frankly I'm expecting some people will have gotten so used to this kind of insanity that they won't get why I'm renting about it, oh well, it made me feel better and gave me something to do while brew is melting my machine.

Spent 4 fucking weeks trying to implement this motherfucking feature and in the end after 15 failed implementations it turns out that my first implementation was good. Turns out this other devs fucking feature had a bug (he forgot to add two lines to clear current state and to update current state again). Motherfucker.

Took me over 100 hours to debug that piece of shiet spaghetti codebase and I had to go through grief stages few times to the point where I started questioning my own damn ability

Sometimes it sucks not being able to go step by steap and think in a linear way. I guess if I followed the breadcrumbs I would have solved it sooner. But poking around things and trying out random solutions was like going through a maze blindfolded until I got it right but I guess thats how my brain works.

Dude, this two guys working on my team are really jerks. They don’t want to “waste time” helping the junior devs understanding the stuff that we sell. Sadly they’re the only people on the team that didn’t come from the outside.

How come I only hear about tcpsvd now....?

Ooohh myy, here comes the tunnel maze!!! :)

I'm so excited about containerization and also ML. I think those are my biggest nerdgasm stories at the time. So please share some useful resource to learn, I will do it as well :)

On vacation at the beach and for some reason I still have code on my mind.

As if I fucking care if you have to add another parameter to my function call. Just because you think it's easier, does not mean its more usefull.

It's inconsistent as F U C K
You code IS spaghetti code. Your logic is closer a maze on a fucking one way street and I don't fucking care if it works. It's a pain

Is there actually any frontend framework or boilerplate to just code and avoid messing around with old libraries, missing dependencies, no documentation? I'm seriously moving to plain ES6, it feels more flexible :/

80% of the costs for this POC comes from NAT gateways, so keep your VPCs internet access free until you really need it 😅

When I was 7-8 i was introduced to programming on a BBC Micro. You could code on it with the BASIC language directly. I found a book about coding BASIC, read it over and over like a holy text, and coded pointless password programs and maze games. From the moment I started, I knew that is what I was going to do when I was older.

Got this build project of a big customer for the company I work for. Zero documentation and the guy manages this is on vacation and this customer is pushing and I'm on leave too until Monday, so everything is fine on x-mas eve 🎄

I don’t know if I hate HR more than annoying customers, hard to tell…

I'm at work. It's been slow recently because our clients don't know what they want.

I just realised there's an itsy bitsy spider on my desk. Or more precisely, on my workstation.

A 2mm-or-so little spider, making a web between my screen and my laptop.

I'll feel bad when I'll be leaving and having to break its web...

Maybe someone can help me out here...

I'm doing a small robotics project, where I'm building a line following robot.

That in itself is fine, and it works, however, the robot also needs to navigate through a maze.

The thing is, I only have access to two sensors, 1 light sensor, and 1 color sensor, meaning that I can't detect junctions.

Does anyone have any advice or ideas on how I could approach this with my restricted sensor count?

Trying to read the description/usage for WP functions to figure out what's going on is like getting lost inside a maze...inside a maze.

I swear people write these descriptions for people who already know what the functions are and what they do. #UselessToMe

There's messy code and this shit.

Why u here?

Made a maze game with timer in assembly. I thought it was ez! Shhh*!

Would you be my pylentine?

Serverless is pure love and make mini monoliths in containers buzzing RPC calls

We are in a course for the scrum certifiaction. Most of my partners are more concerned about they can't take the decission about using scrum or not. Is so sad because os a really small organization.

On the jungle that is my company's NAS, VoidTools Everything search engine has spared my poor wrists of CT and probably hours of "where in gods name did they put XYZ" and clicking through a maze of folders to find it.

Tryingbto navigate a maze of some old code which I thought I had brilliantly written... Nightmare.

Why can't I post pictures too? 😮

The new dev wants to be my best friend. I already have one.

Im so bored that I downloaded a 2d maze game on my phone...

I know it's cry very easy to solve since just need to go backwards but somehow still play it...