No. More. Writing. Code. On. A. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper.

 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Don't ever try writing code on a long flight. People LOSE THEIR SHIT.

apparently, pair programming means one writing the code and the other cracking jokes

When you finally catch the person that's been writing bad code all the time

"Don't waste your time writing code. Browse on github looking for pieces of code, they're all well written over there."

... during a Javascript exercise lesson.

Writing code for a startup without signing a contract first...

"Don't waste your time on writing comments or documentation, as long as the code works!" - My (Ex-) Coworker

Things I'm half decent at: Writing code
Things I am absolutely the worst at: Managing projects

Things I got employed for: Writing code
Things I do: Managing projects

No-code platforms always like to forget that writing the code is *literally* the easiest part of software development 🙄

Currently sat in an airport writing shit code. But soon be in Italy writing shit code.

Only God and I knew what I was doing, writing uncommented code in C a year ago.

Now, only God knows.

Debugging someone else's code and having the thought: "Am I better off just writing the code again from the start?!"

Writes program.
Doesn't comment code.
*Yeah totally gonna remember everything* 🕶

*5 weeks later*
what the heck was I writing.? 🙄😥😭

Software Developers should have a hobby other than Writing Code.

Yep , Debugging .

To the dev who wrote this piece of shit:

Please, stop writing code, NOW!

I swear I didn't know that. Am I a bad programmer? Should I quit writing code?

Biggest dev sin:

I get revenge on idiots (teachers) by writing all my code on one line... 😈

Since git, sometimes I drink and code until I pass out

Today I woke up with good working code that I don’t even remember writing

The first time writing code in an airplane was very uncomfortable. Everyone around me thought I was hacking the airliner.

I was writing HTML.

Me, re-writing the code for the 74th time: wow, I really figured it out this time!

Programming tought me that time is relative.

8h of writing code feeling like just 2h and a hurting back.

Scaling a badly-written code which is not designed to scale.

Ended up re-writing the entire shit from scratch.

Refactoring and writing tests for code that was code written by intern and is on production about one year

A programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code

He refused to comment

Does anyone else get so self conscious about writing neat, clean and efficient code that you get demotivated because you always think "there's a better way to do this".

The cleanest code is no code at all. 😂

Going back to Java after being writing code in Kotlin for a while feels like going back with your crazy, over reacting ex.

When you realize the only way to optimize your C++ code is to start writing asm routines...

Shit code. I've done it, you've done it, we've all done it. Just keep working hard and improving. Eventually, you'll be writing better... shit code.

When you spend 15 minutes writing the code, and 4 hours coming up with the perfect name for the class/method/variable

I swear to god I saw someone writing code in Arial font today at my university 🙀

I saw one guy in Office writing unit test cases and documentation for his code .
Such a psychopath!!!

Absolutely hate writing "Just-Get-It-Done" code!

Writing code in MS Word 2010.

When you're writing code for work, but you can only think of your personal projects...

When you're less efficient at writing emails than code.

That moment when writing code to perform a one time task ends up taking more time than just doing the task manually

Writing cool code might be your passion but shipping it is your job. Sometimes they are not the same thing unfortunately... and its ok!

When you start cleaning your code after writing complete program

WTF BOSS?

STOP WRITING THESE FUCKING OBVIOUS SQL INJECTABLE CODE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!!!

BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!!!

Writing bad code has its perks.

Whenever you are hungry you only have to write a few lines of code and you get some spaghetti

OMG ever since I started to love Haskell, all nonfunctional languages look ugly, I am getting worse at writing procedural code!

I don't really drink alcohol, but every time I look at my (old) code, it looks like I was drunk when writing it.

The way usually it ends when I spend all the night writing some code.

I feel weird if I go a day without writing any code

Staying up all night writing tests trying to get 100% code covfefe

Writing code after months!
Oh I missed you so much :')

Forgot my headphones today, had to listen to stupid people on the train and now can't concentrate while writing code! Fuck!

1. Naming all variables with letters of the alphabets
2. Not indenting (screw tabs VS spaces, I could use anything here)
3. Putting all src files in one directory
4. Writing the entire code without using any functions
5. Writing code and asking me to fix linting
6. Asking why they should follow language style guidelines

After so many years of Python, using C# for writing scalable code so easy.

Writing code in a hipster language like Haskell

Writing clean code is what you must do in order to call yourself a professional. There is no reasonable excuse for doing anything less than your best. - Clean Code

Writing code adds bugs. Removing code adds bugs. Fixing bugs adds bugs.

Dont get attached to your code at work! Coz it's not your code, you got paid for writing that code and that's it.

Supporting outlook in your mail templates.. On a scale of 0 to 10 with 0 being writing code in sublime/eclipse to 10 being writing code in MS Word, how difficult is it??

Spent whole Saturday without writing a tiny piece of code.

Accomplishment?
or
Procrastination?

Twitch returning errors with 200 status code

WHY
ARE
YOU
WRITING
CODE

Writing code for SJWs be like

The other week, our coffee machine broke. No code was written.

Today, coffee machine broke. No code written.

Think I found the secret ingredient to writing code!

She: What are you getting from writing code all day?

Me: Lots of compilation errors
and sadness

Finished writing a new app with react native, but wow the performance, true disappointment. Back to native code.

Blamed team member for writing unmaintainable code. Turns out it was the other way round.

Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it. :)

Coding while drunk currently in the middle of the fucking day, hopefully I wont regret this tomorrow? Who am i kidding I'm writing brilliant code i should code drunk more often

Why do I have no problems writing code and designing databases, but draw a complete blank when trying to come up with a good database username for the code to use?

Code quality check punishes writing massive documentation strings due to "too many lines of code"

FML

Wanna have 120% code of code coverage? Start writing test for unit tests.

Making GUI using Swing. Every single little UI change requires writing a shitload of fugly code.

Once you've been writing code for so long, being excited writing code can go away. I still find that I get the rush when working with a new language or technology. It feels good to be a beginner again 🙂

Re-writing IBM Asembler code to C. No documentation whatsoever. Code was our only reference.

"No matter how slow you are writing clean code, you will always be slower if you make a mess." - Uncle Bob Martin

What a nightmare... writing code with 5 other people at the same time.

Writing a game from scratch is a good way to see how awful you are as a programmer, specially if you come from webdev.
Amazing how fast your code looks like shit when you're writing a game, even the simplest one.

While busy writing code, hardest discussion is should I go and pee or wait till a bit of pee is leaked in my underwear.

Best quote of the conference: If you are writing code without using TDD it's called developing if you are using TDD it's called engineering

TFW you're writing code and feeling it become legacy as you're writing it.

While writing code...

rant!

Gets hired as a C++ programmer. for the past weeks I have been designing UI interface without writing code.

#FML

*writing code*
*compile*
*Error*
*compile again*
*Success*

Thats why coding is magic

Biggest sin is writing code without taking into account clean coding and just doing what ever is necessary to make the code work

"Writing good code is a charity". ( - saves time, effort, mental-health, & career of next developer).

Past: playing on the phone in class
Today: writing code in meetings

Somewhere there is a developer who writing an AI code that will put most ppl out of work. And he doesn't even know it

Common Lisp's format function.

Because it supports some crazy convenient formatting directives, such as: writing numbers as words, writing numbers as Roman numerals, correctly writing plurals, etc

The code in the image will print:
one cat
two cats
three cats
...
seven cats

When you thought writing code on paper in university was bad, wait till you apply to Google and have one of your interviews writing code in Google docs.

You know you have a quality teacher for C code when you are writing a test and you have to write the code on a piece of paper

That moment when you win an app design competition by writing code instead of using Photoshop...

TDD.

I'm a fan of writing tests right after you write every module. I actually think it's doable.

But I'm not a big fan of traditional TDD, which is defined as: first writing the tests, making them fail, writing code until tests don't fail.

My experience with traditional TDD when writing library code is that you start with this very naive idea of what is needed, so you write classes and functions and a lot of times they look like overly simplistic pseudocode.

So what do you do? You scratch that, you delete those classes/functions several times.

I think this discovery process that your code is naive is slowed the fuck down by doing TDD.

I'd rather write a theoretical API in a readme file, then write code, and then write the tests, you can even withhold writing the tests, but never leaving them for another day, just so that you don't waste time writing tests that you're going to scratch.

There's always a time constraint, and most of us can't afford bikeshedding.

Traditional TDD feels like an esoteric thing, it tries to make programming a series of steps, it actually sounds like an infommercial.
"FOLLOW THESE 3 SIMPLE STEPS AND WRITE THE BEST CODE EVER"

Idk, writing code that gets sent into space would be pretty cool

I'm having such a blast writing code in TypeScript. Once you learn it you cannot go back to regular JavaScript.

When u spend too much time writing Java and suddenly go back to C# yet continue to write Java code 😪

Sometimes, after debugging/writing JS code, I sit back and cry 😢😭😭😭😭

Almost finished writing some code, then got distracted by devRant. Now I'm back to post about it. MUST FINISH CODING! DAMN YOU DEVRANT!

!rant
How do you tell someone more experienced than yourself, to stop writing shitty code?

Was writing code, came down, there's a military coup going on in our neighbor Turkey, thought I was hallucinating for a second...

I said "Let's use C for this year's hashcode challange" as a joke.

Guess who's writing C code tomorrow

So basically, we're all just constantly writing legacy code of the future. RIP programmer kids of today.

Python developers starts writing his code with indentation and on multiple lines. Javascript developers look at him and writes the entire script in one line. Php developers looks at python and js developer and starts writing $$$$$$$$$$$$$

Those little moments when you finish writing and refactoring the code and the result is elegant and just works

Writing tons of code without testing and it all works

In job description :
.....
- You should have a good communication skills .
....

At the company:
JUST FOCUS ON WRITING CODE , No useless conversation

I improve my patience by writing code.

Nothing like writing some code on vacation #workneverstops

because writing over 500 lines of java code using swing framework on a piece of paper with a pen is a perfectly good and healthy way to learn how to write code

Why is it that I'm the most productive writing code at 1AM in the morning?

Currently writing code to write math.

What I'm saying is, I make nerds look good.

I hate how I've been writing code for years now, but I still don't feel right calling myself a developer. So frustrating!

i am writing a piece of code that i already feel guilty about,
alternate is refactoring a complete module.

Its 2019. I was just tasked with writing code to print to a dot matrix printer.

for ( let i = 0 ; i < Number.MAX_SAFE_INTEGER ; i++ ) {
console.log("I will never write code before writing test again in my life 😭😭")
}

Programming on paper (any benefits?)

For the programming exams we have at our university we have to write code on paper (like full code, not pseudo).

I feel that writing code on paper really limits my ability to express my programming knowledge, in comparison to writing code on the computer.

However, I cannot think of a real benefit of doing so. I mean most programmers (if I may generalize) have bad handwriting. Which is a loss-loss situation for both the examinees and professors (who have to read the exams).

Are there any benefits for writing code on paper?

Writing some code to sift through some demographic data. Thought I could parallelize a few calls. Now I have a race race condition...

#blackcodematters

Programming is 5% writing code full of bugs , 30% googling , 20% crying,20% checking your downvoted questions on stackoverflow, 25 % thinking of switching career

When the configuration files are bigger than the code you're writing.

Writing code is like writing poetry. You put your soul into it, you create something so beautiful that everyone appreciates it, but no one fully understands it. So comment your fucking code!

Code I'm proud of writing today will likely be code I'm ashamed to have written next year.

Write Code || Managing people.

I'll prefer Writing Code. 🤪

When that guy *always* starts trying to aggressively optimize his code right after writing it. It really is the root of all evil. DK

Use a paper and a pencil to plan for your feature before writing code.

I love writing job control code

Just got to work and we have no power. Maybe hand writing code in university will finally come in handy. Lol not. :)

You just know that feeling when you finish writing the code and its probably the best method you could think of doing!

When non-cs people start writing code..

Me: Writing an amazing code
Client: say nothing
Me: making a stupid bug, the client complains, I fix it instantly
Client: WOW you're amaizing

Writing a shitty code and then debugging it quickly doesn't make you a good developer.

What's you do in your free time ?
Me:Hmm Sudoku,rubik-cube,writing code & solving bugs 😰

The only programming joke I know is my code....
(I am already laughing while writing this) 😂😂😝

Writing

// Refactor this

As I write the code... Never actually refactor it

"If you're writing a lot of code to do something, you're probably doing it wrong." - Marco Cantu

When you spend 2 days writing ~1500 lines of code and you finally put everything to the test and nothing works properly, FML :/

Writing css is still better than having to refactor angular code.
aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh.

#whatamess

Development time : 1 month
Architecture: 5 days
Writing code: 5 days
Testing: 5 days
Deciding variable/service/entity names: 15 days

Improving my English using DevRant

Note: Will be of great help in writing precise documented code 😜

When you find yourself playing games about writing code and terminal commands ...

I can barely code properly while sober. Why would I introduce drunkenness into that equation? If drinking impairs driving heavy machinery, by what logic would it do anything to improve writing code?

I have suddenly started liking writing word documents rather than writing code ...
What’s happening ??!? What’s wrong with me !?!

That moment when you know you're writing shitty code, but you continue writing shitty code because the boss says he needs it yesterday... (._. )

Writing x86 assembly code in VS Code feels so weird. I mean, I'm using something that's built using crazily high level languages (JS, HTML, CSS), on top of a mammoth runtime environment (Node, V8), which is itself sitting on a modern and sophisticated operating system (Antergos), and I'm writing code that shifts bits and bytes around in memory in order to get one part of my C program to run just a little faster. Wow.

<starts writing post in browser about losing code thanks to procrastinating git commit>
<accidental click>
<loses post>

I should be writing code, but I keep scrolling! #devRant

Yesterday was a day off so I developed a vue, vuex , laravel application. Today back to work and start writing some shity code!

populator.call( from
,null
,to
,obj
,srt
);

People writing this kind of code should consider put a bullet in their fucking head.

I just can't stop writing shitty code.

So i came up with indoor plant debugging
1. Keep a plant near your code
2. if you are writing a shitty code plant starts dying

☠️

I don't know what our teammates thought while writing this code.

WRITING CODE ON PAPER...smh

I know many people wrote about this already, but writing code on paper is one of the worst things of a CS class. I’d rather get a computer with no internet access and use a notes app to write code instead of having to write everything by hand. It takes so much more time that you could spend thinking about the problem. Not only that but also my hand gets tired of writing...ughhhh

I need to convince my teacher and the school to switch to writing code on computers! I will not loose this battle ahah

Your code when Writing Java for Android.

I don't always talk to myself, but when i do, it is usually writing very complicated code.

Legit my only answer to fixing shit code for a nursing app at work is.....

Writing more shit code. Man the dude that developed this before had 0 clue what he was doing.....and because shit grew out of control there is shitcode everywhere.

I like writing shit code though. It is good practice.

Writing shit code without knowing is one thing. You really do reach expert level when you write shit code WHILE being fully aware of it.

Tfw you get to help out someone who is more experienced at writing code than you.

What kind of projects did you do as a Beginner to get yourself used to writing code?

Do you ever just get the feeling you're actively writing legacy code...

Writing hello world for AI:

Code:
cout << "Hello World!";

Output:
> Hello Programmer!
> You guessed right, my name is World. World Destroyer!

Writing code an testing it: works fine.
Not touching it for 3 weeks: can't compile it due to an gradle error

I hate Cordova!

😂 writing code that nobody else can read.. My all time favorite book 😂 😂....

is @TheltalianGuy good in writing spaghetti code? 🤔

Writing a new tool, and it's looking pretty slick so far.

This is much better than meetings upon meetings. Maybe I should ask for a demotion so I can be writing code more often?

Every developer thought what the hell my colleague is writing in code.

After watching own code after a year, who the hell is the developer.

Oops it me. No comments :)

When I start writing test cases for my own code.
Me: wahi hua jis ka dar tha!

When writing code that has to be evaluated by a college prof, redirect all the best practices to /dev/null

What music do you guys listen to when writing code? I wanna give my playlist a complete makeover.

So I completed writing code to generate report regarding git commit in CSV. What my boss was saying is :

Opening my IDE 3 (!) hours after getting to the office.

Then instead of writing some code I go to devRant to rant about it ;)

Programmers after Writing some successful code be like:-
"Chill, chill just chill"

When that code went into Testing phase:-
"Where are you now? Under the sea.. Under the sea..."

My wife asked me if I get bored reading and writing "in code" all day, when I could just read and write normal English.

Test code only after writing the entire class

Is writing code trully easier than reading it?

Writing code to put me to sleep.
try{
me.sleep();
} catch (InterruptedException e) {
throw Pillow.atInterruption(e);
}

It's been over a week now without writing a single line of code. Maybe this is a reason for being so sad?

Refactoring someone else's code is a lot harder (and annoying) than writing from scratch!

I'm writing code then used Imperial class instead of Impression class. My brain is on star wars mode.

I get it. Hooks prevent code repetition. But personally I hate them. I don’t know why. I just don’t like writing them. Maybe it’s because I like writing “this”. Weird, right?

I'm writing c# code, does not work, wrote the same code in python just to see if I'm thinking the wrong way, nope, it worked in python then fixed the c# code...
I might be a c# racist or I don't know.

Just finished writing up 600 lines of ASP/C# code. So tired now and need a drink.

Learn to refactor your code constantly. You are not writing code for yourself. Think about the next person who has to look at your code.

Talking about adrenaline sports in a class and our favorites.

Me ? Writing C code without checking for null pointers!

What about you ?

I fucking enjoy writing python code, how can a language be so elegant, clean and perfect?

Love writing comments, hate writing documentation.

Ugh, I know it is needed but just don't care about it as much as the code/comments which is a more direct 'here is what this does' approach. Writing idiot proof documentation sucks. Any little change? Have to remember to update the docs. Yeah, not happy.

Writing ugly code should be a capital offence. And oh, I should be the sole judge of what is an ugly code or not.

No, this punishment won’t apply to me, thanks for asking.

This code smells, its like a puzzle that only will get more complicated the more you try to solve it.

- me after plowing my keyboard for a week writing subpar ad hoc code

The ratio of time spent reading versus writing is well over 10 to 1. We are constantly reading old code as part of the effort to write new code

- Robert C. Martin

When you know you should be writing your tests first, then your code. But you secretly do it the other way round anyway.

Spending more time debugging a language than actually writing code

is "drunk coding" really a thing? i can't imagine how.

i prefer working code, so when i'm writing code, i need my brain to be working. the "benefits" of alcohol, like reducing social inhibitions, don't benefit source code.

Finished writing code for a feature. Begins code analysis. "Analysing code" moments later "Build Failed". Really?! fucking really?! you tell me that now?

Ok granted it is nearly 1AM here I should go to bed. Good night guys!

Does anyone here reject a requirement because there exists no elegant solution to it and you shall die before writing spaghetti code?🤔

Writing the smallest bit of code but being hella proud of it and no one to brag about it to... anyone?

Writing code is a tedious job.
Let's write 20k lines of XML transforms instead.

Not writing the damn code.

I picked what I’m good at so solving puzzles after that it’s simple.

10 years experience rule or 10’000 hours of writing code.

I've finally got into the habit of writing descriptive comments in my code. I've always just got so into the coding and comment later when I don't know what the code does anymore xD

Writing code in PHP and not documenting it.

Who annoys you most while writing code?

If you are writing all your code from scratch, you are probably an amateur.
If you are copying and pasting most of your code, you are probably a beginner.

Repair printers... Somehow writing code translates to the ability to fix any printer problem in their minds.

Writing 20k lines of code and finally during compilation more numbers of errors....Life ends here....

Starting a new side project and I am determined to do it right.

Just finished writing the features list and now I'm writing the documentation. Not written a single line of code not, nor even created a repository.

I just hate writing comments and the Software Design Document for the code and changes done my me.

Did anyone here created a css style sheet for universal use?

Or writing separate code for every single project?

Which JavaScript library guys are using? React or Vue? Or any other?
Writing React + Redux needs lot of boiler plate code :(

Writing code and then testing whether it works... This was pretty badass, until it wasn't.

Daft Punk in my headphones and I’m ready to gooooo! This makes writing code so much more enjoyable 😬

Is it me, or writing Swift after several JavaScript apps feels like writing "serious" code once again?

Yo dawg, I heard you like writing code for code you already wrote. So I made you write some mock functions so you can write code for code you already wrote!

Using vim without plug-in and writing my first ever python code (not "hello world") on it
Hail emacs!