This happened few hours ago.

Client: I received an email which says that I won 1 million dollars. They gave me a link in the email, when I entered my credit card details nothing happened.
Me: Wait what? You entered your credit card details.
Client: Yes
Me: That was a scam, you didn’t win anything. They stole your credit details. Contact your bank ASAP and let them know about this.
Client: You guys are handling our email servers, why can’t you guys keep it safe. What type of security do you guys provide.
Me: Wait what? We host your website application not email.
Client: Damn it. My son said the same thing, but I didn’t listen to him. Anyways Cheers.

Check out my new raspberry pie.. Cheers from Canada and my grandmother

Playing cards against downtime with my less tech savvy mates is awesome!

Cheers from Germany 🍻

Cheers guys.

Second meet up with @CoffeeNCode 😁

Having some good special beers 😍

Cheers devRant!

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Versace tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd:

Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:

Shepherd: “Okay.”

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,

Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”

The shepherd cheers,

Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”

The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,

Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”

The young man answers;

Man: “Yes, why not?”

Shepherd: "You are an IT consultant."

Man: “How did you know?”

Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?"

Just did some initial programming of my Arduino to run the alcohol sensor.. seems to be working well. So, looks like it's time for testing 🤤 cheers!

Got the first payment from my client! Cheers 🍻

Meeting op with @CoffeeNCode still, we're having good times and good beers!

Cheers devRant 🍻

Cheers!!

Well... My fist table drop in prod... Cheers 🍻
Fuck.

Not my mom, but my wife's whole family. I'm a software developer.

So we're invited to her grandmother's 85th birthday celebration with pretty much every family member they could think to invite. 100+ people, and we all sit down in a circle in a huge room to watch a video that my wife's father and aunts/uncles put together.

They start the video and there's no sound. I'm a software developer, so I'm not an expert in hardware issues. I try to turn invisible, because every tech person knows what comes next, and this is in the center of a room of people I don't know.

After about 15 minutes of people struggling to get the audio working, one of the people remembers I "work with computer". Soon I have a dozen people calling me to the center of the room.

I begrudgingly make my way to the computer and projector. Upon inspection, I find that the computer is connected via VGA to the projector.

Me: "This cable only carries video. You need a different kind of cable, or you can hook up an AUX cable--the kind you use for headphones."
Other Guy: "I used this cable earlier and the audio was working."
Me: "...that's weird. Well, can we try plugging in an AUX cable?"
Yet Another Guy: "Will this help?" Holds up an HDMI cable
Me: "Oh, yeah! That should do it."
Other Guy: "I tried plugging that in, but it didn't change anything."
Me: "Hmmm..." Quickly unplug VGA and plug in HDMI, then click play.

The sound comes out in its full cheesy music glory. Everybody cheers, and I walk back to my seat. Throughout the rest of party, I'm approached by various other family members who ask me if I can fix X since I'm a "computer guy". Isn't it great to work in tech?

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay."

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."

The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"

The young man answers, "Yes, why not?" The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant."
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business... Now can I have my dog back?"

And thus another 365 days have passed and here we are. Woooh! In celebrations of the age++ I gave my little avatar his own cake while I now enjoy my own. Cheers!

Me: *sends meeting request*

Attendee: *3 days later*, hi is there anything in particular you needed to discuss?

Me: ... nope, none what so ever. Decided to take 30 mins out of my busy day to talk to you, a person I don't know, for 30 mins. Definitely the title of the meeting request has nothing to do with it, I wouldn't bother reading that now, since you haven't yet anyway. Cheers!

Storytime!

Manager: Hey fullstackchris, the maps widget on our app stopped working recently...

Dev: (Skeptical, little did he know) Sigh... probably didn't raise quota or something stupid... Logs on to google cloud console to check it out...

Google Dashboard: Your bill.... $5,197 (!!!!!!) Payment method declined (you think?!)

Dev: 😱 WTF!?!?!! (Calls managers) Uh, we have HUGE problem, charges for $5000+ in our google account, did you guys remove the quota limits or not see any limit reached warnings!?

Managers: Uh, we didn't even know that an API could cost money, besides, we never check that email account!

Dev: 🤦‍♂️ yeah obviously you get charged, especially when there have literally been millions of requests. Anyway, the bigger question is where or how our key got leaked. Somewhat started hammering one of the google APIs with one of our keys (Proceeds to hunt for usages of said API key in the codebase)

Dev: (sweating 😰) did I expose an API key somewhere? Man, I hope it's not my fault...

Terminal: grep results in, CMS codebase!

Dev: ah, what do we have here, app.config, seems fine.... wait, why did they expose it to a PUBLIC endpoint?!

Long story short:

The previous consulting goons put our Angular CMS JSON config on a publicly accessible endpoint.

WITH A GOOGLE MAPS API KEY.

JUST CHILLING IN PLAINTEXT.

Though I'm relieved it wasn't my fault, my faith in humanity is still somewhat diminished. 🤷‍♂️

Oh, and it's only Monday. 😎

Cheers!

Cheers to devRant 😘
Keep up the Ranting...

Made me chuckle, cheers robershuxley /r/ProgrammingHumor

Since git, sometimes I drink and code until I pass out

Today I woke up with good working code that I don’t even remember writing

Fullstack dev: Hey I need your help with one of this method in the service layer (We use Java).

Me: Sure. What’s up!

Fullstack dev: When you get a user ....blah blah blah...

Me (typing code):

if (user != null) { ... }

Fullstack dev: Wait! This won’t work. You need to write this:

if (null != user) { ... }

In Java, you write like this. In JS it’ll work, not in Java.

Me: (also fuck this guy)

He’s among the famous devs in the company - (A very very very famous European bank).

I checked his commits for the frontend (React Native)

switch (some_expr) {

case foo:
return stuff()
break // <— note this

case bar:
return moreStuff()
break // <— note this

// more cases here with break after return statements

}

Me: Hey if you’re returning from a case why are you using a break. It’s dead code.

Fullstack dev: It’ll fall through otherwise.

———————
You’re a fucking dunce! Please drink a litre of Carborane in a rusty HIV infested container! Cheers!

PS More to come!

The hour before i downloaded devRant i was a 9gager. Now i think i am devRanter.
Thanks dfox and trogus and all awesome people in this community. I am a fresh meat in dev world and here i learn so much things about real world i cant learn in anywhere. Cheers if you are reading.

@dfox Thanks for the swag. Cheers

Hai devs!
Team devRant here.

Some sad news, my teammate can't participate for reasons I don't need to disclose.
I'm not stopping though, I'm going in alone! (Or well, physically).

I'll post the link to the updates (and more) site later on but the important part:

It starts at 12pm EU/Amsterdam time and stops tomorrow at that same time!

Working on a livestream =)

Cheers!

So I’m working on an app with a friend who is designing it and I spent a week building a custom segment control as a menu bar. He said that it looked nice but he got inspiration to make a tab bar instead 😑
Cheers to the dev life

soon,number of devRant users will hit its million mark and @dfox will not be able to write to everyone personally and mail their stickers!

So, here's to us, the early adapters of devRant! cheers!

We all once printed "Hello World" & were acting like a pro 😏
Cheers, we all made it till here, more than "Hello World! 🍺

Sometimes I love my job, working on client site today.

"Hey we're training a new girl up do you like Warsteiner?"

"Yeah, why?"

Puts pint in front of me

"Thanks"

10 minutes later

"Hey this one was poured by mistake"

Second pint

"Have you tried the San Miguel yet?"

Third pint....

today a coworker came to me. he had some ideas on a program i made for him (he had the thoughts i did the programming).
he is really thankful for this program as it helps him a lot with his daily work.
we talked about an hour: he told me what he wishes and i explained him what i can do with my abilities.

after this talk i had like 8 to 10 changes to make - more or less big.

from 10 am to 2 pm i managed to work off 5 points, built the release and did the update on his pc.

been a long time seeing someone so happy :)

that was a great feeling. now i get some beer. cheers guys

It's my first day on devRant. It's been hilarious so far. Everyone seems really cool and interesting.

I'd post a rant but I'm more tired than annoyed by anything right now.

Cheers from Argentina!

Okay that's not a rant BUT I'm very grateful for whoever built Devrant. We definitely needed a safe space to be rude and just let it out without much filter.

To our toxicity 🥂
Cheers!

Just wanted to say cheers to all those coders among you who make sure their login is encrypted, their passwords are hashed and salted, their codes are tested and their forms are code injection safe.

No client will understand what you did, so take my props for it! After all, its our responsibility to make sure software is secure. That's all :)

Upon suggestion of @platypus I went to the cafe and just took my tablet there (unfucking the laptop's rootfs flash drive took too long, and ArduinoDroid's avrdude didn't seem to work very well), so just doing some chatting in IRC and trying to figure out how the hell I'm supposed to make a serial link to a Proxmox VM from the host (thinkstation on the top left pane).

Attached below is the screenshot of that.. much turminel, very h3xx0r! But so far nobody has come up to me calling me "evul h3xx0r" yet.. very intriguing! I expected things to be much worse.

A glass of Duvel in front of me, tastes great! Cheers!

This week's the 256th!
Congrats devrant!
And keep it coming =D
Cheers to all

Ahhh shit I hit 200 rants without even realizing it.

Well here's to like 14 months of awesome times and destressing.

Cheers you beautiful bastards

We reached our goal of a November delivery today the 43:rd of November.
Cheers!

Cheers my dudes and dudettes, here’s to JS 👌🏻🍸

A perfect fit for the first of my devRant stickers.

Cheers to @dfox and @trogus 🍻

hey everyone, I'm new to Dev rant. not quite sure what to say. so i guess I'll just observe.

cheers

A huge congrats and thanks to trostik for being the first devRant user ever to hit 1,000 points! He has provided countless laughs through his awesome posts and memes and was one of the earliest devRant users. Cheers buddy 🍻 (real beers if you're ever in the U.S. or we're ever near you 😀)

Obligatory DevRant sticker post. Cheers from Bulgaria, bowl of shkembe to scale.

I got 2 sets (one for free).

Now I need a place to stick'em.

To be able to learn, is an opportunity. To be able to teach, is a privilege.

Cheers to another successful iteration of The #HourOfCode, by Team ACM BVP in association with Code.org. It was amazing teaching the students of 5th standard the basics of programming and logic building, and quite surprising to see how quickly they were able to grasp the concepts!

I was a bit sad this past couple of days, but I got that just before Christmas. It cheers me up 😄
Thanks @dfox! Thanks @trogus!

Currently watching a bunch of drunk Irish people try different whiskeys and drunkenly banter with one another, while myself sipping Irish whiskey. It’s nice.

Slàinte! 🥃

Cracking open Unity for the first time, tonight after the daughter goes to bed, for an augmented reality project.

Cheers! 🍺

DIDNT SEE THE TIT IN THE IMAGE :P

NOTE THERE IS NO TIT! BUT HE GO TIT. GET IT ?

I don't know about you, but our fellow Indian colleagues doing YouTube videos explaining programming concepts and whatnot have got me through college and many of my projects.
Cheers for the Indian superheroes in our line of work! Keep doing what you're doing, you are making the world a better place.

true story **cheers**

Oh man, today just gets better and better...

Manager: * Creates ticket, which has a link to a shared pdf, with each page being a link to another ticket in our JIRA with unrelated bugs of what we are currently working on. *

fullStackClown: I'm closing this ticket and putting this feedback in the original ticket that I assigned to you to review days ago.

Manager: Rages like a little baby and removes my access to said shared pdf.

fullStackClown: Welp, looks like I'm done for the day! Cheers!

Not a rant but...

Happy New Year guys!! Glad that I found DevRant and I hope all of you will have a kickass year ahead ❤️ Cheers! 🍻

Any of you Internet losers still rockin' a Pebble watch? Cheers from Bulgaria's Black Sea Coast.

Not my original, but cheers to the creator since it's hella relatable!

Share your VS Code installed extensions here.
Mine is: Alignment, Better Comments, change-case, Colonize, CSS Peek, DotENV, File Utils, GitLens (my favorite!), Gulp Snippets, JS-CSS-HTML Formatter, Laravel 5 Snippets, Laravel Blade Snippets, Material Icon Theme, npm Intellisense, Numbered Bookmarks, Path Intellisense, PHP Debug, PHP DocBlocker, PHP Intelephense, PHP IntelliSense, Prettify JSON, Quokka.js, snippet-creator, Vetur.

Feels like there are redundant extensions here that I need to uninstall.
Happy Friday and Cheers! Excited for Infinity War movie! 😎

Today i implemented something of such a complexity that the part of my brain i am in could not follow it.
(Really guys. I did not know what i was doing. I only knew i had to do it exact this way)

This feeling when you are in a tunnel and unstoppable. I even documented what i did.
Sadly i do not even understand my thoughts there xD
I wrote about three hours straight and then run a test. And the only mistake was a variable not filled as described. Used another one and it run smoothly as hell.

Today i will drink a beer on whatever part of me did this. Cheers

Dear cursee,

It's Monday. It's already the middle of first month of 2019. There are clients expecting and waiting to see the finished projects. There are tasks with warning and delayed labeled on your boards. You have slept well. Ate well. Drank well. Only remaining thing left is to work and finish your tasks well.

You can do it. And you must.

Cheers,
cursee

I am fuming!!! I have never before in my entire life been more pissed.

When you are working you are a** off on a weekend to finish a project in half the time and have a sh**ty, unstable third party API you have to integrate with return responses like this. I present to you the world's most horrific API.

Feel like punching through the monitor screen. What the f**k is this! 200 and ERROR?

As I write this rant I have Grammarly correcting my grammar. Thanks, Grammarly!!!! I am having an amazing weekend. -_- Cheers my fellow devs!

Just realized that I am not at +1000 points and I must say...well. That I really like this community. Being able to talk to other people with similar interests helps me get through the day in ways that I cannot describe. Where I am from there aren't that many developers at all and those that exist around do not have the experience, talent, or knowledge that the user base here has. This is a diverse group, with people comming from different backgrounds and tech stacks and I learn a lot from each and every one of you. Thanks guys for giving me a place to be at when software gets crazy. Cheers to you all magnificent basterds, and to the awesome gentlemen that built my favorite app ever!! You guys rock!

"No We Will Not Code for Free"
(Parody of the "Cheers" theme)

We're underpaid, clients' scope today takes everything we got.
You turn to us with all your troubles cause "companies charge a lot."
You want our work but you won't pay.

No we will not code for free.
You are not exempt from our fee.
If you want a free site, build it yourself. We're not your coding slaves.
We won't build your crap no matter how much you plea.

"Paying us back" don't mean a thing, money talks, bullshit walks.
If you want a cheap site then go to Geocities.

Never had one due to this trick I borrowed from an old friend.
So we all know about those meetings where its all crap flying around right?.
First go in there with your alarm clock set on vibration every 7 minutes(trust me on this-makes you look important and you ought to be somewhere else)
Actually the alarm is a reminder that you need to bring yourself back online.
At this point just listen to the speaker for a couple of seconds(especially if its marketing dept) and being the engineer your are; rephrase parts of their presentation in a question-comment hybrid( at this point you're the wisest looking person in the room)
Now go back to thinking about that pizza slice you left in the fridge as they discuss the "lean production" methods that they can use based on "your opinion"..
To more happy meetings..cheers

Welp, I dunno about the rest of you folks, but I had a splendid day making a really sexy data viewer with React, Redux, ImmutableJS, react-virtualized, and Radium. And it works fast in IE!

And! Now I'm in a pub, sipping a beer in the summer evening breeze, waiting for my partner so we can order food.

Cheers!

I watched today one of our devs working in Windows with a Docker Environment.

I think I'm pretty insensitive regarding pain, horror and morbid stuff.

But damn. I really needed to turn off the stream or else I'd walk to the company and rip his fucking workstation out of the server rack to put it out of his misery...

Errors? ignore them....

Weird python messages? Ignore them...

wild copy pasta between notepad++ containing shell commands and a git bash... Per mouse context. Yes. Move the cursor, mark the text, right click, copy, go to terminal, right click, paste.

Understanding of whats happening. Zero. Like literal zero.

He was wondering why there were strange characters when he pasted log output in a text file...

My question: How do you think colored text works in a terminal environment?
was answered by : "Don't know, never thought about it. But don't think this has something to do with the weird characters?"

I don't wanna talk about the rest.

Retarded humanity can please kindly kill itself so the intelligent above average nice people can live in peace...

The meeting was 2 hours. I drank 5 bottles of beer after it in1 hour and I'm please to announce I'm forgetting large parts of what has happened.

Cheers.

Cheers devrant!

Nice, apparently Kingston isn't just selling storage anymore.. and it turns out that it's even legal as long as the 2 brands don't enter the same market and the brand name is a generic English word (not sure if Kingston is one of those though). Who knew?

Also, cheers!

Here's to the next orbit around the sun y'all!
Hope we all push unit tested code with the least number of to-do's, and fix more bugs than we create!

Occasionally i got my badass moments at work.
But that one bachelor party in Barcelona where about 10 of my pals and I came back from a soccer match topped it all.

As we got back to our AirBnB apartment i went to the bathroom and scanned the WiFi.
I found the IP address of the bachelor's party man of honor and MITM attacked him.

So each image from any http server would automatically get swapped with a picture i took just an hour ago from the game we were at.

5 minutes later i hear the screams "OMFG WE ARE ALL ON THE NEWS GUYS!!!" and "LOOK AT SPORTS SITE X AND NEWS SITE Y!!"
The saga continued with some cheers in the beginning and some confusion, but ended when another friend rat on me..

But boy it was glorious 😂

Sometimes I wonder:

Who actually cares?
About what I do
About what I make
About me.

Why put in effort if there is no different result? Why am I always sad? What ruins my day? Is there really hope? Why? So many life questions I want answered. Do I care too much? I definitely think way too much. Why am I so lazy. The questions I have.

Cheers,
To a better day.

Just a friendly reminder to fellow developers to take care of yourself.

If your system is constantly pumping out cortisol, even when threats are minor, it gets desensitized to the stress signals. We used to react to cortisol with the fight-or-flight response when our lives were in real danger. Nowadays it's produced when you disagree with your coworker or there's a deadline coming up. So your cortisol rises but you neither fight nor run. The result is a stress response that isn't functioning properly. This is when burnout symptoms develop. Same goes for testosterone, dopamine and some other hormones and neurotransmitters. Read up and start proper work hygiene that includes workouts, fresh air activities and manual hobbies.

Your back, wrists and eyes aren't the only things you have to watch out for when coding long hours. Cheers and have a fun weekend!

Cheers from Mexico!

So, I just realised that a contribution I made to an open source project 12 days ago had gotten accepted 3 days ago. I'm so ecstatic over this!
I was basically just in need of type definitions for a javascript library, and seeing as it didn't have any, decided to make them myself. Done that, I made a pull request, but seeing as there was no changes after a few days, I forgot about it.
Now I just remembered about that, and wondered if it got any comments or anything, and it turned out that they had accepted my PR and it had already been put into a release 3 days ago
I can't contain myself right now, it was my first open-source contribution, and it just feels good to know that I somehow helped some people by giving them type definitions :D

Cheers

I got 99 problems

But they can wait till Monday.

Cheers to the fucking weekend!

Just got an email reply with the following greeting: "Dear Cheers,"
Maybe somebody should tell the "Sales Director" of Gole that Cheers is NOT a first name.

Lovely DevRant stickers arrived! Cheers guys from the UK!

Cheers y'all!! Hope your weekend was good and tomorrow you crank out awesome code, so the CEO can finally buy a yacht.

You may remember a super long time ago I double-buffered the Windows cmd.exe using c++

tl;dr, here it is in c!

Anyways, I was still learning c++ back then. It wasn't my first project in c++ but it was close and I ran into a lot of issues. The thing worked... but only if you didn't touch it.

Here's the same project (With a lot less bells'n'whistles) written in c. I used a different approach this time, and other than my function naming convention (Which, I honestly don't even know if it's bad or not!), I think this is some pretty solid code!

In the image you see the header file (I used as a summary of the code) and then three x's in a terminal. To do this, the code:

-Creates a ConsoleScreenBuffer handle
-Creates two CHAR_INFO buffers for drawing & displaying
-Draws three x's to the draw buffer
-Copies the draw buffer to the display buffer
-Copies the display buffer to the ConsoleScreenBuffer handle

I'm thinking about cutting out the middle man and removing the display buffer (which holds what is currently displayed) but I think it may actually be useful, and I don't know.

Anyways, I have no friends that understand this stuff so that's why it's here. Cheers.

When your work alarm goes off on a Bank Holiday Monday because Apple still dont have a feature to disable alarms on Bank Holidays. Cheers Tim.

Tonight do not forget to raise a glass to Ops, oncall developers, DBAs and devops, field engineers, warehouse operators. Thanks to them, we can afford to meet the new year properly.

They are working tonight so we wouldn't have to.

Cheers

Wow, the India Post's official website has a captcha while tracking a package.

The funny thing is, the captcha is in a text format, meaning it can be copied (yes, ctrl + c works) and be pasted in the text field.

COMPLETELY DEFEATS THE WHOLE PURPOSE.

cheers to its developer.

Testers be like: "Error when using system (see screenshot)"

Nice one, super descriptive with where and what you did to encounter the error, oh and cheers for the finger nail sized screenshot!

BE GONE CLOWN!!!! MAY YOU BE CAST BACK UNTO THE DEPTHS FROM WHICH YOU HAVE SPRUNG!!!!!

🪄✨

👻👹👺

🤡

can't wait to be absolutely fuck you rich while the clowns continue to fumble around in the sandbox for the next 5 years 🪣⛏️😂😂😂

all those years, crouched over a laptop, learning React, then TypeScript, then PostgreSQL, then .NET, then React Hooks, then Redux Toolkit, then Golang, then GraphQL, and even RabbitMQ and gRPC mixed in... more and more and more............ IT'S TIME TO SPREAD MY WINGS AND FUCKING FLY BABY!!!!!

why work for clueless clowns when your own technical know-how is literally 1000x (or perhaps infinitely) theirs? Was I an idiot? Yes, I was! Way too nice and I bought into the hype fake idiot brain culture, but now I've finally woken up. Time to ascend to the stars by myself.

Cheers devRant, this 🤡 is finally going to transform into a 👨‍🚀🚀

You may not hear from me for a while sadly, but I'll be sure you guys get the first shoutout - see you on 🪐

100% of the credit goes to my dear friend @TheKarlisK

This is our VPN project we did recently and published it as open source to the world.

Cheers to you my man, Karlis.

So... Heard back from a recruiter today. Lovely lass.

I’d passed over a submission for her tech demo.

The brief was basically just to create a small simple module that calculates shit, nae effort.

But, when the recruiter had me on the phone she said “I know it’s a silly small module but try and run it up like you would a production ready app”.

The job spec and recruiter were keen on me demonstrating TDD, not specific on js version, final runtime, etc. The job was a senior spec at a higher salary range. So it warranted some effort, and demonstrating more than a simple module.

“Okay, cool, nae bother, let’s crack on.”

The feedback in the response from the dev today:
“He’s over-engineered tests, build...”

SUCK MY LEFT TESTICLE YOU FUCKWIT.

Talk to your recruiters, not me.

The feedback included a phrase I never hope to hear from a developer I work with:
“Tests are good but...” 😞

It was a standard 98% test suite from an RGR cycle, no more or less than I’d expect in prod.

The rest of the feedback was misguided or plain wrong. It was useful to see because I know now when they say they have “high standards” they mean: we listen to the dude who put the factory pattern in a JS brief.

Oh shit also: “someone’s done chmod 777” was in there as a sarcastic comment in the feedback. It was his fucking unarchive tool 😞

My response was brief and polite: “cheers for the consideration, all the best, James”

It’s honestly not worth warning them. Or, asking why they’d criticise something they’d asked me to do.

If you want a shitty js module, ask for a shitty js module and no more.

A big shout out to all the polyglot developers out there who understand that languages and frameworks are just tools with trade offs.

May we always evaluate thoroughly and choose the best tool for the job at hand.

Cheers 🍻

Bonus Round:

What tools are you currently wielding while reading this rant?

I'm pretty new here, but I can't begin tell you how much I appreciate feeling like a part of a dev community for the first time. It's great having a place to share, vent, and occasionally let out a fuck-filled rant.

I guess most jobs are too formal for you to be verbal and brutally honest about your experiences and frustrations -- and friends can take the honesty but do not understand the technical stuff. This place seems to be the best of both words. Cheers.

Ladies and gentlemens, my everyday workstation.. at work.

i5-5300 2,30Ghz, 8gb ram and 128ssd. Bloated external screen with low resolution and even lower colour saturation.

Running VM, handling big as images, editing and a tiny bit coding.. and they wonder why I'm asking for a new setup..

(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.)

Cheers ☕

@dfox I would love to have a "save for later"/ bookmark feature. I am seeing so many great things here and I'd love to access them later. Maybe something you could implement some day?

Cheers mate!

I am loving this week’s topic.

So many people see their alternate profession as simply following passion and becoming an artist.

The art of teaching, or making food, or producing music, or making things, and so on..

We are so different in our artistic capabilities yet so similar in our professions.

Divided by lakhs of factors, united by love for ranting.

Let the passions not die out!

Cheers! 🥂

A delicious Sprint Planning 😋

It was a hard sprint (SCRUM methodology), but finally we were on our next’s sprint planning meeting. We had a lot of tasks to define and estimate. For the first one, we all estimated the task with 5 points, and for the second one we voted for 3 points. We were coordinated XD so, our boss said “let’s do something, if all of you vote, let’s say, 5, and another votes for a different number, he or she’s gonna buy us a six pack of beer”. Challenge accepted.

Two partners and I have to buy beers for this friday after work 😂 I don’t even mad 😋🍻

Today has been a pathetic day. Nothing worked and lots of BSOD screens of death.
Join me with a beer or two.
Cheers! 🍻

@dfox @trogus you guys are awesome! Cheers!

By the way... Cheers from Italy :)

I’m sorry for my earlier rant (deleted). It was obnoxious and offensive. I was rude and stupid on a galactic level.

I was having a bad day. Cheers!

!rant

They are finally here! Cheers from Greece!

devRant is great because it keeps me in the mood to programme, create and envision new projects. Cheers guys.

Nice another fucking hurricane

Cheers to this yearly tradition

The team spirit in our team has improved over the past 1 month with this etiquette..
*walk up to team member
*no greetings
Just say " bring yourself back online"
Watch them light up..share those ten Westworld seconds..ask for what you need
..and the hell back to your desk
..cheers

Don't you love having a colleague who is your lead developer and does absolutely nothing all day, looks at online deals 80% of the day and when you spend half an hour amending a friend's wordpress website, decides to tell you off and that you're taking the piss because you spent half an hour doing something other than work... Cheers pal, why don't you get off the deal websites and do some actual work instead of trying to assert power which you clearly aren't qualified for.
Regards.

@dfox @trogus can the notifications area be split between +1'd comments and rants and new comments? Or the ability to remove selected comment thread notifications? Cheers. Great app btw

Yesterday's +1s brightened a shitty day, thanks guys

😁🐳🏄‍♂️🏊‍♂️
Weeeeeeeek - END🤽‍♂️🤽‍♂️🏖🏝
-----------------------------------
I am authorized to say FUCK WORK. I don't wanna hear anything else but PARTY PARTY PARTY for these two HOLY DAY.

Long week of work, going to enjoy beach tomorrow.🚣‍♂️🚣‍♂️🚣‍♂️🚿⛱⛱

Cheers to those Java developers who think they will be richer than PHP developers because Java has a more complex syntax.

DevRant MeetUp in Nijmegen 4th Jan'20:

I'm goin' scouting this Sunday.

Got six locations to check for compability.
Lots of coffee, tea, beer, wine and such to evaluate. Btw : what's our price level? Medium?
Anyone in for culture, arts or even partying?! =)

Cheers!

hey guys,

I've been working with js for like 5 years now, and I figured I could help some people out, if needed.

I wouldn't consider myself a js lord, but I have some decent experience, and even if I don't know something I'll be honest about it and at the very least I'm pretty sure I'll point you in the right direction.

I'm fond of vue, lodash, es6, node, eslint bla bla. I also know rails.

In any case, my objective with this is to learn myself.

So feel free to tag me if you have any type of question about anything js.

Cheers.

I am a pretty well of dev with a nice job and a nice salary. Yet I still suffer from imposter syndrome. It's nice to get on here and read rants about shit I've also has issues with or just feel better about myself because I wasn't the one the person that rant was about. Cheers to you devrant

At the beginning of programming the languages were complex and you had to think like a machine to do what you had in mind. Now code is art, it's like a poem. That's why some people (including me) when drink a beer or a cup of wine do better code.

Cheers, devs!

When you find this in the PHP code:

if(condition) {
// code
} else {
die('horrible death');
}

Cheers to the fellow devRanter who added it and also to whoever is going to get to "else" part :D

I don't know but maybe this could help somebody here too, so I'm gonna share this.

I've discovered this Android app called Island, which essentially sandboxes apps by cloning them in its internal environment.

I've sandboxed that Facebook cancer app in order to keep it fucking frozen when I do not use it (I know, web version is good, but I find the app smoother).

It seems to work like a charm (better than greenify-alone ibernation, actually), but I'm still testing it.

Cheers!

Cheers to the dude who added ligatures to Roboto Mono and SF Mono.

My kinda start to an amazing new year! 😍
Just received my Hacktoberfest t-shirt and stickers. Cheers to open source!

I hereby congratulate you all with the end of Friday.

Cheers 🍻

Fuck

I have my first ever PRESENTATION ever tomorrow

And there will be at least 40 people shit.......

I have to explain the program logic in a very easy way, which is a pain for me.

Any cheers for me?

@dfox

Just read your announcement

Great to know that everything is goin excellent 👍
Cheers 🍻

And really excited about the secret feature 😀

And all the developers who have initiated open source devRant related projects / bots deserve a squishy ball 😁

I'm too broke rn, so can all my tech devices not act up and cooperate until I have some disposable income again?
I'd appreciate that lots.
Cheers.

I am very drunk and in the zone right now for innovation.

And I just wanna ask if what can y'all imply for blockchain being integrated in agritech.

And yes I can still type like a sober mofo. Cheers

1 Week ago I took down the development version of an internal demo, leaving only the prod one (temporary space issue). Colleagues were told n+15 times via email, face to face, comments on tickets etc. The prod one has also been live for weeks, and again, they were told when it went up.

This just happened:

Colleague 1: practiseSafeHex can you help me, the demo doesn't seem to be working.

Me: *logs in*, *click around* ... seems fine dude. Are you using the correct URL: <prod-url>.

Colleague 1: let me try again and see.
Colleague 2: practiseSafeHex i'm with Colleague 1, were trying to use the demo, and its not working. Can you have a look, we need it.

Me: I just told him, its fine, I think you have the wrong URL <prod-url>. Can you try again.

Colleague 2: No I have the right one, can you check it.

Me: *does nothing*, yep i've had a look at it, can you try again: <prod-url>.

Colleague 2: Ah its back now, cheers.

They are with a customer now, so I won't say anything, when they get back, one of them is being castrated.

So it seems that lately I got addicted to minimalistic wallpapers, they just look soo nice on both desktop and mobile devices.

Anyone recommends any good zip file with a bunch of those?

*some websites will do the job too

*Cheers*

cheers to the cultured ones here

My current co-worker takes this prize. He's quiet, good at what he does and only communicated with me when absolutely necessary or when we are both obviously on some down time. Cheers to you, mate!

A momentary lapse of reason

@dfox (this might not be the correct way to tag here, but we'll see once I post)

A few suggestions:

1. Being able to move between day, month etc. by swiping left or right

2. A web interface (to rant from a laptop/desktop)

3. Link "framing" (a-la WhatsApp, messenger, where links get a frame with a picture and description)

4. basic markdown (bold, quotes, etc. a-la Reddit. this might exist but I haven't run into it, and if it does maybe a preview window for the result would be helpful)

Really like the app, cheers!

Thanks @dfox

Arrived safe and sound.

Cheers from Portugal

Question:
Kotlin?
Yes || No || Donno

Thinking about giving it a small touch but wanted to look on what others thoughts are.

Cheers ☕

I really don’t like when colleagues start refactoring core components in a software application just because they feel like it.

Consult the team first and get everyone’s opinion, cheers.

To all developers out there

For those who use Windows, have a desktop and notebook computer and want to use the same keyboard and mouse on both.
Windows has a program called "Mouse without Borders" that let you use the mouse and keyboard of one computer on another like a dual monitor setup. It's works via LAN and I have to say that I haven't any lag. You can copy text from one computer and paste into another and you can drag files too (that are copied to a special folder).

My desktop computer has a big monitor and of course it's better than my notebook and I don't want to spend money in another monitor, so this is a life saver for those who are in the same situation.

Cheers!

When a client asks you to make a form.... With 6 input fields and about 9 output fields.

Cheers buddy, I'll just make the rest up shall I?!?

FFS!

[UPDATE] on my newly joined internship

Considering how corporate the organisation is, I'm surprised how chill everyone is. My team consists of mostly millennials, which is great!
Everyone is super helpful, I honestly thought it'd be shitty experience joining in and it'd all be so formal but none!
First few days I got no work, so I went and asked my mentor and he just laughed and said go home, watch Netflix, which I definitely didn't expected cause corporates

I got web testing work twice (sad I didn't get more, but in time it will increase), got some research work currently which is cool too.

Honestly, I wasn't excited to join as I didn't know what kinda work would I even get(it was pretty vague) but I'm glad I got this.
I'll continue to update here, and sorry I couldn't update any sooner

Cheers my dudes

1 day ago my wife's father died, I'd like to do checkout on this repo called life, but we can't, I loved that man as my father, I have to be strong to keep my wife strong, I cry when I'm not in home. Code it's like my beer. Cheers!

After a less than simple deployment today I feel I've earned this, cheers devs

My GOTG pop figures are my favorite items on my desk. Whenever I have a bad day at work, I make their heads move and that cheers me up :P Drax is missing though

Um 2017 de muito sucesso para todos os devs desse mundão.

Cheers \©/

Hereby I congratulate all of you with the end of work week.

Cheers 🍻

!rant

Sooo not so long ago, i was saying something about my recent first interview. I passed it and it felt so good and that kind of made me proud. But now it is even better! I just got my first peanuts as a developer and i must say "boy, it felt good" !

Thank you all, members of the devRant community for always giving me not only courage to try, ideas to research and reasons to laugh, but the most importantly: some insights of how things are out there. For a introvert like me it is really great to not simply step into the darkness, blindfolded 😁

Cheers to you all! 😘

I made that request a month ago or so, not long after i started to use devrant more often than any other app, and i can say only that i am glad that i pressed "install" that time when i found it in the GoogleStore.

Thank you all for making this community more like a family than a refuge!

Truth is i feel a little bad now for doing that but i might be able to repay the founders and all mambers of this community somehow, someday. And i am looking forward to do it 😁

Cheers!

Me 2 cents on python:

Cheers on python for enforcing indentation for the sake of readability.

Fuck devs for writing a fucking function in one line or 200char.

Also fuck type less one liners even more.

Cheers to the weekend!

Can a sysadmin start Node web design?

I'm a Linux automation admin, and I always look at my friends developing nodes websites with poor UI and UX. I'd love to fix that but have no idea where to start from.

Any idea or git project / advice on where to start from?

Cheers!
~ exit

This year's Hacktoberfest tees look sick!

Cheers 🍺

If it builds ship it!! Its Friday.. cheers! What’s everyone drinking?!

Hey devRant,
Newbie dev here starting my first full time professional gig in two weeks as a .Net developer. Any advice or tips on making the transition from student and hobbyist to professional dev?
Cheers!

Getting cheers from my loving ones.

Final day on this project, tonight I'll get drunk to forget about the backlog since client didn't hire me longer ( consultant).

I hate leaving unfinished code.

Monday I start my next project, which is refactoring. .Net code to .net core.

Here is to hoping it doesn't rely too much on unsupported 3rd party libraries.

Cheers fellow devs, have a good weekend.

Heya. Now I feel like a fool for asking and it has been bothering me for a while.

I want to get into native application development, but I simply cannot wrap my head around how to connect a backend to the frontend.

I have been doing web development, I understand the concept of endpoints and I am able to do http requests for web apis etc. But when it comes to creating it in some native application, I have no clue what to do.

Does anyone have a good post or video that describes these connections, as for some reason I cannot seem to find any.

Hope it's understandable,
Cheers

Finally got my stickers ! Cheers for sending them All the way to Denmark !

This stupid computer is in clamshell mode connected to my screen and mech %99.999999 of the time. I take it with me on a trip and the down arrow key breaks off (little plastic shit-thing snapped off)..WTF? 2013 Macbook that has about 5 hours of total keyboard-use, at best.

Walk into the Apple shop in Varna, 3 Euros and I'm back in action.

ahhhh fuck..it was probably my fault clacking too hard.

Good sushi here and my dry February has happily turned into large pints of Kamenitza...

Cheers from Bulgaria, you fucks..

Loosing faith...

Interesting question.

I don't think skills have something to do with faith.

If you don't know something, ask someone who does.

Even If I cannot solve a problem or deem a problem unsolvable, I usually don't doubt myself.

There are rare moments where I throw a fit, but that's not loosing faith, thats just being angry because my stubborn thick skull cannot make sense of it, which annoys me.

Might sound cocky, but in my opinion dev skills are not "do or die". Problem could be solved at a later time, maybe never. Who cares?

Loosing faith would mean to me that I define myself in some way on the ability to solve sth that doesn't have to be solved at all.

XD

After all, if it doesn't work, I don't give a fuck.

*Cheers*.

*Share your desktop screenshots here*
Hey guys, just want to share my desktop screenshot in the office. Hope you could share yours. Cheers! 😀

Two days into the new year and you got made redundant after working there!
Yeah cheers for that! Could done it last year.

Guess it's back to apply for jobs.
/rantover

So... We're going to totally rewrite one of our web applications at work. It's currently written using the .NET framework, and we're moving to Node.js instead. For me, that's absolutely wonderful! Outside work I practically only work with Node, so I'm happy. There is just one thing that's bothering me. My colleague wants to use MySQL for the database. Even worse is that he's the one deciding, since I started working there just a couple of weeks ago.

Now, I really, really want to use Mongodb. It integrates so wonderfully with Node together with Mongoose, and just the thought of using JSON everywhere makes my body shiver of satisfaction.

So therefore I have two questions.

A. Would you prefer Mongodb over MySQL for a node application?
B. How the hell can I convince him to use Mongodb?!

Cheers!

The moment you realize that you have successfully beaten reality with your unit-tests...

There are unit-tests for ...
... the api returning a 408 Http StatusCode when an internal request times out.
... the react app take this status-code and fires an action to display a specific error message for the user.

Every bit of code runs just fine.

Deploy this hell of an app on the server. Dandy Doodle.

Do a smoketest of the new feature.
FAIL!
Chrome starts to crumble during runtime. The api Request freezes.
Firefox takes the 408 api response but fails to interpret it in react app.

So I began to wonder, what the hell is going on.

Actually I recognized that I had the glorious idea to return a clientside error code in a serverside api response.
Glorious stupidity :/

Finally I fixed the whole thingy by returning an 504 (Gateway timeout) instead of 408 (Clientside timeout)

Cheers!

Stress ball arrived, cheers Devrant

cheers mate

First time in years I've ended up in my old pub...

Got a message from work:

"Can you please look at this order?"
(screenshot with badly synced orderlines)

*looks via 4G*

nothing wrong, was fixed by customer

quickly send a message back:

"Nothing wrong, might need to refresh your page. I see the products..

Oh, and cheers... I'm not at home for once..."
(adds pic)

Saturday morning for the world but I am doing this !!
Cheers to developer life 😅😅😅

Who else is coding this morning??

Hm, missed a bit this pile of sociopaths here on devRant.

Last few weeks:

I repeat myself, this shouldn't be hard.

Working on it for 5 mins.

O h m y g o d.

Quite nothing the past weeks worked like intended, people and management have been a complete desaster and the weather is killing me.

Cheers.

Oh. And my request to get an benzo perfursor and a sexy manly nurse was denied by my team colleague handling hardware management.

-.- He said me being in a good mood is the last missing sign that the apocalypse is happening.

Yeah. Shit is burning everywhere. We're e.g. getting hardware delivered by a supplier who said that the request *was* canceled (after 3 months...) Two days phoning back and forth, they don't understand how it was possible but we can keep the hardware. Yay. Except that we completely redid the whole planning a week before. Naaaayy....

And now I will do the best I can: get drunk.

Cheers.

Any people here who experienced derealization?

Just sharing it here because I think that devs (or other stressful desk jobs) are especially susceptible to it.

I’ve had the feeling that my perception of the world has been kinda „weird“ and unsharp for months but I always thought „I’m sure it’s because I drink too much. I’m sure it’s because I don’t eat healthy. I’m sure it’s because I don’t do sports. I’m sure it’s because I don’t sleep enough“ etc.

I knew about derealization but I always had the opinion that it’s one of those psycho diseases that are all made up.

When I started doing some research on it i learned what it actually is..
A „defense“ mechanism of the brain to protect the brain from shocks and stuff or just a mental disturbance and that it’s kind of a vicious circle once you actually notice it.
It’s only getting worse because you focus on it and check in on it if it’s still there..

Just a few days ago I started to ignore it and told myself „it’s fine, it’s a natural experience, just ignore it“. It changed things a lot..
I feel much better just because of the fact that I’m no longer afraid of it.

Enjoy your weekend, cheers!

By far the most stupid email I ever got was a feedback to a documentation paper that I wrote.

The email's author went on a rant for long paragraphs, suggesting how the content should be structured, written, pictures suggestions ("something like a box with arrows" kind of description) only to realize, I guess in the middle of writing the email, that my approach was much more user friendly, easier to understand and to follow.

So, after this looong rant the email basically ends with "I see what you did there; forget what I wrote before. Cheers."

My brain stopped for that day. It couldn't handle it.

Heya @Fast-Nop

Here's to your many sevens (7).
Beautiful assembly, perfect with that leading three (3).

Cheers mate

What would be the best "hot"/upcoming languages for a final year college project?

The project will focus on reverse engineering.

Basic Example: Intercepting signals from products such as a toy helicopters/drones/etc, reverse engineer the signals and try gain control of the device from that.

That's just a very basic function and there will be much more to it, but I'm struggling to decide on a language to pursue hand-in-hand with this project!

I hear Rust, Go, Julia and co being tossed around a lot.

Any suggestions would be helpful!

Cheers

We got drunk with the most geek friends, and now the subject is based on the pigeonhole principle, one of us drank at least one extra bottle :/
(this is the first time I've ever seen this principle being used properly 😂)

Hi guys some advice would be appreciated.

I’m new here but have followed for a long time. I enjoy coding in my spare time, particularly web development but I am looking to make it my career.

Currently I work in mental health as a social worker, but ultimately the stress of the job and life in general has led to me being detained in a psychiatric hospital. So I’ve decided I need change.

I want to start a career I want to be in and that is as a developer. In terms of education, I started a degree in maths/cs a long time ago but stopped due to life events at the time. All the rest of my qualifications are around social work.

I’ve been doing my best to learn with Udemy and free code camp. Mainly looking at JavaScript. I also used to work in a charity where I did some (bad) php development and front end work.

Are there any self made developers out there who have any advice for me? I’m looking at doing a bootcamp but dunno if that will help at all.

Any help or advice would be really welcome. Cheers guys :)

I've finally quit my job today! It's been too long a time in the making. I was absolutely terrified but turned it into a positive discussion (considering the circumstances).

Looking forward to jumping into the interview grind once again, to return after a short sabbatical. It won't be pretty. Shitty jobs are abundant. Recruiters who know jack shit are incoming. Brace yourselves. Here's to finding something worthwhile! Cheers

My oversea job journey continues on.

I am relocating from Taiwan to Germany. I got my work contract draft from the company. I don't think there are any big issues. But I still would like to consult dev friends here about the contract.

Especially for German companies, are there any tricky things that should be noted in the contract but sometimes ignored (intentionally or unintentionally)?

Any other advices about work/life in Germany are sure welcomed.

I am also happy to share my job seeking experiences, just put your questions on the comment.

Cheers.

I don't think I have this syndrome, I don't think I am great at anything and the surrounding world shows that.

I have to work really hard, more than others to get an average result.

What cheers me up is that even tho I am subaverage in everything, when I spend the extra time, I often get the avg result and when you are following your results, when you see there is progress, it feels better

I want to buy a beer for everyone who developed the mobile pass app. Just breezed through immigration and customs without waiting in the 1 hour+ line. Technology wins. Cheers!