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As a developer, sometimes you hammer away on some useless solo side project for a few weeks. Maybe a small game, a web interface for your home-built storage server, or an app to turn your living room lights on an off.
I often see these posts and graphs here about motivation, about a desire to conceive perfection. You want to create a self-hosted Spotify clone "but better", or you set out to make the best todo app for iOS ever written.
These rants and memes often highlight how you start with this incredible drive, how your code is perfectly clean when you begin. Then it all oscillates between states of panic and surprise, sweat, tears and euphoria, an end in a disillusioned stare at the tangled mess you created, to gather dust forever in some private repository.
Writing a physics engine from scratch was harder than you expected. You needed a lot of ugly code to get your admin panel working in Safari. Some other shiny idea came along, and you decided to bite, even though you feel a burning guilt about the ever growing pile of unfinished failures.
All I want to say is:
No time was lost.
This is how senior developers are born. You strengthen your brain, the calluses on your mind provide you with perseverance to solve problems. Even if (no, *especially* if) you gave up on your project.
Eventually, giving up is good, it's a sign of wisdom an flexibility to focus on the broader domain again.
One of the things I love about failures is how varied they tend to be, how they force you to start seeing overarching patterns.
You don't notice the things you take back from your failures, they slip back sticking to you, undetected.
You get intuitions for strengths and weaknesses in patterns. Whenever you're matching two sparse ordered indexed lists, there's this corner of your brain lighting up on how to do it efficiently. You realize it's not the ORMs which suck, it's the fundamental object-relational impedance mismatch existing in all languages which causes problems, and you feel your fingers tingling whenever you encounter its effects in the future, ready to dive in ever so slightly deeper.
You notice you can suddenly solve completely abstract data problems using the pathfinding logic from your failed game. You realize you can use vector calculations from your physics engine to compare similarities in psychological behavior. You never understood trigonometry in high school, but while building a a deficient robotic Arduino abomination it suddenly started making sense.
You're building intuitions, continuously. These intuitions are grooves which become deeper each time you encounter fundamental patterns. The more variation in environments and topics you expose yourself to, the more permanent these associations become.
Failure is inconsequential, failure even deserves respect, failure builds intuition about patterns. Every single epiphany about similarity in patterns is an incredible victory.
Please, for the love of code...
Start and fail as many projects as you can.30 -
A while ago I had all these ideas for side projects, and I really wanted to create something. However, every time I started to work on it I usually started the IDE, wrote a couple of lines, and quickly lost motivation. This kept going for a while. I just wasn't feeling it and when there is little or no (visible) progress it can be hard for me to continue working.
Then one day I wanted to push through it, and decided to set a rule: I have to make at least one commit per day, no matter how small.
So I (re)started work on a side project, and by the time I was satisfied with what I'd want to commit I've made enough progress to want to continue working on it. This quickly turned minutes of coding into (late) hours. Now I have a couple of side projects going which are progressing quite nicely, and I feel motivated to work on them again.
I don't know if there are any other people on here who've had this feeling, but if you did maybe this'll help you :) I'd love to hear from you how you keep yourself motivated!10 -
it's funny, how doing something for ages but technically kinda the wrong way, makes you hate that thing with a fucking passion.
In my case I am talking about documentation.
At my study, it was required to write documentation for every project, which is actually quite logical. But, although I am find with some documentation/project and architecture design, they went to the fucking limit with this shit.
Just an example of what we had to write every time again (YES FOR EVERY MOTHERFUCKING PROJECT) and how many pages it would approximately cost (of custom content, yes we all had templates):
Phase 1 - Application design (before doing any programming at all):
- PvA (general plan for how to do the project, from who was participating to the way of reporting to your clients and so on - pages: 7-10.
- Functional design, well, the application design in an understandeable way. We were also required to design interfaces. (Yes, I am a backender, can only grasp the basics of GIMP and don't care about doing frontend) - pages: 20-30.
- Technical design (including DB scheme, class diagrams and so fucking on), it explains it mostly I think so - pages: 20-40.
Phase 2 - 'Writing' the application
- Well, writing the application of course.
- Test Plan (so yeah no actual fucking cases yet, just how you fucking plan to test it, what tools you need and so on. Needed? Yes. but not as redicilous as this) - pages: 7-10.
- Test cases: as many functions (read, every button click etc is a 'function') as you have - pages: one excel sheet, usually at least about 20 test cases.
Phase 3 - Application Implementation
- Implementation plan, describes what resources will be needed and so on (yes, I actually had to write down 'keyboard' a few times, like what the actual motherfucking fuck) - pages: 7-10.
- Acceptation test plan, (the plan and the actual tests so two files of which one is an excel/libreoffice calc file) - pages: 7-10.
- Implementation evalutation, well, an evaluation. Usually about 7-10 FUCKING pages long as well (!?!?!?!)
Phase 4 - Maintaining/managing of the application
- Management/maintainence document - well, every FUCKING rule. Usually 10-20 pages.
- SLA (Service Level Agreement) - 20-30 pages.
- Content Management Plan - explains itself, same as above so 20-30 pages (yes, what the fuck).
- Archiving Document, aka, how are you going to archive shit. - pages: 10-15.
I am still can't grasp why they were surprised that students lost all motivation after realizing they'd have to spend about 1-2 weeks BEFORE being allowed to write a single line of code!
Calculation (which takes the worst case scenario aka the most pages possible mostly) comes to about 230 pages. Keep in mind that some pages will be screenshots etc as well but a lot are full-text.
Yes, I understand that documentation is needed but in the way we had to do it, sorry but that's just not how you motivate students to work for their study!
Hell, students who wrote the entire project in one night which worked perfectly with even easter eggs and so on sometimes even got bad grades BECAUSE THEIR DOCUMENTATION WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
For comparison, at my last internship I had to write documentation for the REST API I was writing. Three pages, providing enough for the person who had to, to work with it! YES THREE PAGES FOR THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING PROJECT.
This is why I FUCKING HATE the word 'documentation'.36 -
Now that I passed 5k, I think it's time to thank this awesome community.
Literally all of you people are absolutely awesome. I have nobody to talk to about programming stuff in RL, but you really got me back on track. I lost motivation, but this network is...different. It's inspiring.
I learned a multitude of languages and strengthend my skills. So many people are awesome here, I cannot listen them all.
I just want to say...Thank you.
6 -
"Mature codebase"
"Our entire team are senior devs"
"Almost everyone that worked on the project is still here and available, so nothing's lost! We can ask whatever we need to."
You would think this would mean the code was clean and easy to read, and you could ask the person who wrote it for help. But. no. It's kinda the opposite.
Here's an example:
I'm trying to write a mailer, and I have no freaking clue how to get it working. I talked with two of the more senior devs, and both assured me it was very straightforward, and then walked me through the quite complicated mailer structure and got lost. The first pretended not to, but glazed over a few holes in his tour, and said I could figure the rest out. The second one ended up admitting that he's totally unfamiliar with it -- his last commit on a mailer was from about 8 years ago -- and doesn't know how to get it working anymore.
So, I'm on my own.
I wrote a super basic mailer for debugging (no idea if/how it actually sends a mail, but I think I can construct one?). But whenever I call the mailer, it gets run twice? Somehow? Apparently I need to start a bunch of daemons to get that part of the system to work. Which is cool because they don't work fresh out of the repo. Got some further help, and now my ostensibly working code throws errors for an undefined var that i'm not even using, and to make it easier: without a backtrace. joy! There's so much inheritence and extending and including going on that it's going to take me hours to track this down. ugh.
I'm keeping my paystub in front of me for some desparately needed motivation.13 -
I lost motivation and focus on the company where I worked for 12 years.
And after 12 years I quit my job last week.
I'll work for a new company next month.
And I won't wait another 12y if I won't be satisfied or disrespected.
Never give up.4 -
Had a project intro ppt at college. Panel of 3. I spent hours on making a 47 slide ppt, trying to make sure that the ppt was simple and lucid enough for them to understand and also enjoy. They did not listen to a single word i said. Before one of them even understood the title, she started questioning me. And she kept questioning and questioning. But she never listened to my answers. She asked one question, and as soon as I said one word, she started another question. The other two kept nodding or looking bored or even fucking talking among themselves. The funny thing was, my ppt had all the answers. If she had bothered listening, she never would not have needed to ask anything. And in the middle of their senseless questioning, they all started talking about how their fucking tea needed sugar😡😡😡😡
I have lost all motivation to work on the project.1 -
Whatever you do, just keep going.
If you don't have mental capacity to do all tasks today, do one or two. If you want to do that side project you wanted, but lost motivation in the moment, do at least something, like a sign up form. Just keep going. Put some work in, make this day's net impact positive. And it's not all about work! Wanted to play that game you bought on a steam sale but never opened? Play the first level today. Wanted to learn how to make music? Download Ableton or Fruity Loops, watch a tutorial video on YouTube, replicate the steps. Just keep going.
Wandering directionless and letting yourself go is the sure path to misery. Remember — every figment of human behavior has a reason. It is important to identify reasons behind seemingly random behavior patterns and comprehend them in a non-judgmental way. Then, starve what holds you back, and feet what keeps you going.
I have bipolar type I + autism. Using this approach and remembering that everything has a reason helped me debug my low productivity. And no, I don't mean my job, I mean my real goals I want to pursue even if I had a billion in the bank today and never had to work a single day in my life.
Aaand, the reason was?… fear. I discovered I had PTSD all along that manifested when I was misdiagnosed and prescribed strong neuroleptics. In a way, it's a chemical lobotomy, just less invasive and more reversible. My intelligence came back, but it came back together with PTSD.
Now, instead of chasing mythical productivity, I know the reason behind the lack of it — PTSD. It is hard to fight what isn't defined, but it is real to win a fight with a thing with a name and a face.
Just keep going. That's my message to you.15 -
I’m fucking done….
I don’t even know what to tell.
I’m a CTO in a startu. We have pretty good traction, my salary is about average senior dev salary (plus 10%).
I’m good financially.
But I have no more pleasure in work. Like at all.
“This API call performance is bad”
Yeah I know, maybe you shpuldn’t try to call it for 1000 objects at the time ?
“We need to reduce Azure cost”
Yeah I know, but are you ready to live with performances downgrade it will generate ?
“I don’t understand on what thing you worked past week, where is a devops card ?
Fuck you, I’m in extenuating fire mode, I don’t have time for a fucking devops card
“We should migrate whole stack to modern technology, like JavaScript”
Thank you for your imput, Blazor WAS created to avoid JabaScript
“The client has only 1.000.000 records and API doesn’t return them all”
Use fucking paging moron. And BTW, I’m adding “number of authorized requests” shortly.
I can go on and on and on for hours. But the idea is : I completely lost the will or motivation to do anything. I’m considering just to quit and go back to be Junior dev for a random company.9 -
Just blowing off steam with y'all. It will sound confused, but it's just all of my depressive thoughts mashed up in a rant.
So, here I am.
Surrounded by incompetent professors who are unable to point me in the right direction, that rarely even know what they are 'teaching'. In a moment of total loss, that has been lasting for months. Totally lost my motivation and my will to pursue a career in IT. All I do is game, eat, sleep, repeat. I am exhausted mentally. When I get back from school, I can't think of anything else but to relax and do nothing. I am frustrated. I care about becoming a programmer, but I can't find my inner strenght. School draws all of my strenght and willpower away from me, and therefore I get distracted very easily. I just do not know what to do anymore. I want to keep going, but I am stuck, unable to do so. "Perhaps this is just not for me" is what keeps resounding inside my head, but I do not truly believe it. I just wish that all of this stress would just disappear, and allow me to do what I care about. I need help to find the needed focus to continue.21 -
Continuation from :
https://devrant.io/rants/835693/...
Hi everybody! I am sorry that as a first time poster I am building 2 long stories, but I really like the idea of connecting with other people here!
Well, as I was mentioning before, I got a job in Android development and had a blast with it. Me and the developer clicked and would spend our time discussing PHP, the move to other stacks (I was making him love the idea of Django or Spring Java) games, bands and cool stuff like that. This dude was my hero, his own stack was developed in a similar MVC fashion that he had implemented from scratch before for many projects. It was through him that I learned how to use my own code (rather than frameworks and other libraries) to build what I wanted. I seriously thought that I had it made with a position that respected me and placed me in the lead mobile development position of the company. Then it happened. He had taken 2 weeks of unauthorized leave, which was ok since he was best friends with the owner of the company, those 2 along another asshole started it so they could do whatever they wanted. And I could not make much progress without him being there since there were things that he needed to do, that I was not allowed, for me to continue. When he came back I was quickly rushed to the owner of the company's office to discuss my lack of progress. The lead developer was livid, as if he knew that he had fucked up. He blamed the whole thing on me (literally told the owner that it was my fault before I was summoned) and that we lost 2 weeks of business time because I did not had the initiative to make progress on my own. I felt absolutely horrible, someone that I had trusted and befriended doing something like that, I really felt like shit. I had mad respect and love for this guy. It got heated, I showed the owner the text messages in which I showed him my pleas to led me finish the parts that were needed while he was away. Funny enough, he acted betrayed. After that it was 3 months of barely talking to one another except for work related stuff. He got cold and would barely let me touch the internal code that he was developing. It was painful. The owner kept complaining about progress and demanded that I do a document scanner for the company, which was to be attached to their mobile application. Not only that but it had to be done with OpenCV. Now, CV is great, but it is its own area, it takes a while to be able to develop something nice with it that is efficient and not a shitstorm.
I had two weeks.
Finished in one. After burning my brain and ensuring that the c++ code was not giving issues and the project was steady I turned it in...to their dismay. And I say so because I felt that they gave me such a huge project with the intention of firing me if it was not done. After that it was constant shit from the owner and the lead developer. I was asked then to port the code to the IOS version. I had some knowledge of it already so I started working on it. Progress was fast since the initial idea was already there and I really love working on Apple devices. And when I was 70% done the owner decided to cut me loose. At first he cited things such as lack of funding and him being unable to pay my salary. I was fine with that even though I knew it was not true. So at the time I just nodded and thanked the company for my time there. Before I left, he decided to blame it on me, stating that if they were not producing money that it was perhaps my fault. I lost my shit, and started using my military voice to explain to him how a software company is normally ran. Then I stormed out.
It was known to me, that the lead developer had actually argued against me being laid off. And that he was upset about it, we made amends, but the fact remains that I was laid off because the owner did not think of me as an asset, regardless of how many times I worked alongside the lead developer or how valuable I was actually to the company, their infrastructure did get better while we worked together, so I just assumed that he never actually did any mention of my value.
I lasted 2 months without a job, feeling horribly shitty because my wife had to work harder to ensure our stability whilst I was without any sort of salary. At this time I had already my degree, so all I had to do was look better. In the meantime I decided to study more about other technologies. I learn React, and got way better at JS and Node that I thought I could and was finally able to get another job as a full stack developer for another company.
I have been here since 2 months. It has been weird, we do classic ASP, which is completely pointless at this time, but meh. At this time though, I just don't really have the same motivation. Its really hard for me to trust the people that I work with and would like to connect with more developers.21 -
I found out last week that I was passed up for a promotion not because I didn't deserve it but because I got one last year.
My manager asked to have me promoted. People on other teams wanted me promoted. HR did not.
I wasn't mad about it at the time but the more that I think about it the more it's getting me down. I've been pushing myself trying to prove that I would be good for the position and now I have lost all motivation and I hate it. I like where I am at and I like what I do but this has really killed it for me. I'm struggling to get anything done now.6 -
Have you ever been so motivated to do stuff that you lost the motivation because of too much motivation that sucked up all the energy you had to be motivated?7
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!rant
TLDR; Lost passion after a few years, wasted a year, went on vacation without really any technology, found my passion and am excited as hell for 2019.
After programming for nearly 5 years, I’ve hit the point of not wanting to program anymore. I’ve burnt myself out, and haven’t had a vacation in 8+ years so we’ve finally decided to take one. I’m not going to say it’s a full blown vacation, but a semi-vacation since it’s with my parents also so I do have to do a few things I’d prefer not to such as meeting relatives.
I didn’t have the motivation to work on any new projects, finish any projects I actually enjoyed, I just did a few side projects for friends that took me anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes every few weeks. In general this year has been garbage in development terms, I’ve lost passion. It felt like a chore, I didn’t find the entertainment I once did.
I’ve been away from technology for about 2 weeks now, and have less than a week left before I fly back and I’m excited as hell. During this break away from technology (with the exception of browsing devRant once in a while), has me excited to work on many projects and actually start learning and improving my skills. I’ve actually gained the motivation to work on 2 projects that have been planned for nearly 2 years now, I’ve noted down ideas for them, made diagrams, etc, just never had the passion to develop them. 2019 is going to be one hell of a year, since I get back almost at the end of November, and December I have a few business meetings and University exams that I have to prepare for. Excited to see these projects through, one is going to be for the hell of it, just been a passion project I’ve wanted to do for years now. The other project is actually a project for one of my sub-companies that hasn’t officially released since I didn’t have the passion to work on it. (Not going to go into full detail yet about the companies/projects, going to save that for the future)
Alongside that, I’m excited since my main company that is totally unrelated to technology, is set to do some massive moves during 2019 also. Looking forward to that, and being able to launch my dream company (the sub-company I mentioned before).
Time for sleep now, goodnight! (Wrote this after a few drinks and in the middle of the night, hopefully it’s not full blown garbage)2 -
!rant
I've lost all fucking motivation to do anything at the moment.
Fuck not even gaming is much fun anymore.
Also amazing that I have so little time on Mondays that I can't even eat properly.
Literally living on caffeine, a spoonful of, like, porridge and water on Mondays.
And of course the nice bistro is closed on Mondays.
Then there is that motherfucker of person at school that just randomly starts sharing weird ass details with you and promptly started to break out in tears when she failed maths today.
Like fucking hell, then for some reason the same person fucks up everything in her volleyball group by literally doing nothing and complains when she gets hit by a fucking volleyball, like, she doesn't even attempt to dodge it catch it.
So much for that fuckery.
Then there's these little brats that just completely play asshole and are being jackasses to everyone including upperclassmen and teachers.
Grab em by the throat and fucking put them in a toilet.
Literally the reason why our school is generally known as the 'Drecksloch', literally dirt hole.
The fucking volume is driving me batshit insane in school to the point where I just start yelling at people.
Fucking kids, it literally doesn't cost you shit to just shut the fuck up.
Okay, vent over.
Sorry for that.12 -
i don't think that i'm having a burnout but i think that i'm maybe not so far away from it... several people, including friends, my therapist and also a colleague, told me they see me at risk of sliding into a real burnout.
i've known this for longer that i have a crappy work life balance. the habit of making work the most important part of my own life. thinking about work even in my private time, when i fall asleep, when i wake up in the night or in the morning. the tendency to think about problems, plans, coworkers, not being able to quit work mentally. the idea that i have to prove to everybody at work that i'm awesome. the feeling that, after a work day, i'm just "waiting" at home for the next day, in idle mode, so i can continue working on a problem (like a bug) that's occupying my whole mind. and at the same time, feeling totally empty after work, having no energy. i've lost interest and quit several hobbies in the last two years that once were important for me. and i think one important reason is that i didn't have any mental energy left to deal with that.
another factor for this development was also the pandemic for sure, because for some time, i had no real social life except for that at work.
but more important is probably that i find my job most of the time really fun and am highly motivated. i have the tendency to say yes to everything and to really commit to and own the problems that are handed to me. (right now, however i feel like there's not much motivation left)
then again there is the feeling that what i do is never good enough, i have little self confidence in my own abilities as a software engineer. there's a big discrepancy between how i myself perceive my work and how other people do (not only at work). on a rational level, i know that what i do is at least "good enough", otherwise i wouldn't have this job, and i wouldn't receive this amount of positive feedback from people. but it's hard to really deeply understand this thing, when there are deep-rooted beliefs like "only perfect is good enough" or "your colleagues will be disappointed and get a negative idea of you (and something bad will happen), if you don't give your best"... and there's also this idea that i have to be this super nerdy person who also codes in their free time, reads IT magazines and stuff, because only then i will fit this stereotype of a software developer, and only then i can be taken seriously and be good enough. no matter if this is fun for me or not.
anyway, right now i'm at a point in life where i'm realizing all this not only rationally, but with full emotional impact... :/ my life feels like it's gone stale and empty. i've lost creativity, warmth and human connection and that hurts a lot.
i'm trying to change my life.
one thing that really helps me right now is to talk with people who have (made) similar experiences. can you relate? if yes, how do / did you address those problems? i would really appreciate to hear your stories...6 -
When you're wondering why you lost motivation to work in the middle of the day and it turns out you were just hungry 🙌🏼1
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What do you do on days when you are just lost ? When you just don't find any motivation to code ?15
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I just fucking hate BGAs* that unsolder themselves.
So, thanks to my laptop slowly breaking apart I decided to reactivate an old netbook my father gave me back in 2014(?) when it failed, to have a device on standby if necessary.
Wasn't really planning to repair it and kept it for spare parts mostly as the whole device is a fucking design failure concerning heat dissipation.
But yet again, I thought I'd give it a try one-two years ago. I soon found out it was said heat problem that caused the error in the device and it'd probably only take some reworking using a heat gun, which I did. Netbook worked for some hours, then was dead again, same error. Lost motivation and stashed it until this week.
Reworked with a hair-dryer this time and it worked! Well, until this morning - same error. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried to run a VM and then shut down the device right after that.
I will now try only one more time, this time just baking the whole damn main board thoroughly.
Either it works or it's really dead after. Either way, I'll be somewhat happier then.
* Ball Grid Array - package type for electronic components like ICs/uControllers8 -
Why do I feel this way. I lost motivation for programming and I spend atleast 4 hours a day playing games.12
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Alright. This is going to be long and incoherent, so buckle up. This is how I lost my motivation to program or to do anything really.
Japan is apparently experiencing a shortage of skilled IT workers. They are conducting standardized IT skill tests in 7 Asian countries including mine. Very few people apply and fewer actually pass the exam. There are exams of different levels that gives you better roles in the IT industry as you pass them. For example, the level 2 or IT Fundamental Engineering Exam makes you an IT worker, level 3 = capable of working on your own...so on.
I passed level 1 and came in 3rd in my country (there were only 78 examinees lol). Level 2 had 2 parts. The theoretical mcq type exam in the morning and the programming mcq in the afternoon. They questions describe a scenario/problem, gives you code that solves it with some parts blanked out.
I passed the morning exam and not the afternoon. As a programmer I thought I'd be good at the afternoon exam as it involves actual code. Anyway, they give you 2 more chances to pass the afternoon exam, failing that, you'll have to take both of them the next time. Someone who has passed 1 part is called a half-passer and I was one.
A local company funded by both JICA and my government does the selection and training for the Japanese companies. To get in you have to pass a written exam(write code/pseudocode on paper) and pass the final interview in which there are 2 parts - technical interview and general interview.
I went as far as the interview. Didn't do too good in the technical interview. They asked me how would I find the lightest ball from 8 identical balls using a balance only twice. You guys probably already know the solution. I don't have much theoritical knowledge. I know how to write code and solve problems but don't know formal name of the problem or the algorithm.
On to the next interview. I see 2 Japanese interviewers and immediately blurt out konichiwa! The find it funny. Asked me about my education. Say they are very impressed that self taught and working. The local HR guy is not impressed. Asks me why I left university and why never tried again. Goes on about how the dean is his friend and universites are cheap. foryou.jpg
The real part. So they tell me that Japanese companies pay 250000/month, I will have to pay 60% income tax, pay for my own accommodation, food, transportation cost etc. Hella sweet deal. Living in Japan! But I couldn't get in because the visa is only given to engineers. Btw I'm not looking to invade Japan spread my shitskin seed and white genocide the japs. Just wanted to live in another country for a while and learn stuff from them.
I'll admit I am a little salty and probably will remain salty forever. But this made me lose all interest in programming. It's like I don't belong. A dropout like me should be doing something lowly. Maybe I should sell drugs or be a pimp or something.
But sometimes I get this short lived urge to make something brilliant and show them that people like me are capable of doing good things. Fuck, do I have daddy issues?16 -
my brain buzzes more than ever, i can't get my sleep schedule under control, i can't find the motivation to do literally anything unless someone pretty much forces me to do it, i can barely focus on anything, my hands constantly refuse to work properly...
why? why must i be like this? sure, i've gotta do this and that and the other, but none of it ends up getting done because i'm too busy staring at a fucking wall, lost in my own head, and everything gets fucked up.
i can't even be fucked to go for walks or anything because i don't know the neighborhood and there's such a high crime rate here, nothing i'm not used to but still...7 -
Have you ever lost all the motivation for anything in life. Yes that's me right now. Can't even be bothered to right this post properly. Fuck everything and everyone.9
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Hello winter depression. I showed up at work at 3pm. I should write a concept for restructuring our IT department. But I'm surrounded by people who have the misconception that design is just making things pretty. And they laugh at the idea to conduct user interviews to improve the situation. It's expected that I finish this until two weeks. Because thats when my contract ends. Job hunt starts again. I lost my motivation for everything. Let me be 😕4
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So I enventually spent 2 years working for that company with a strong b2b market. Everything from the checkouts in their 6 b2c stores to the softwares used by the 30-people sales team was dependant on the main ERP shit home-built with this monstruosity we call Windev here in France. If you don't know it just google and have some laugh : this is a proprieteray FRENCH language. Not french like made by french people, well that too, but mostly french like the fucking language is un fucking french ! Instructions are on french, everything. Hey that's my natural language okay, but for code, really ?
The php website was using the ERP database too, even all the software/hardware of the massive logistic installation they had (like a tiny Amazon depot), and of course the emails of all employees. Everything was just handled by this unique shitty and so sloooooow fucking app. When there was to many clients on the website or even too many salespeople connected to the ERP at the same time, every-fuckin-piece of the company was slowing down, and even worse facing critical bugs. So they installed a monitor in the corner of a desk constantly showing the live report page of Google analytics and they started panic attacks everytime it was counting more than 30 sessions on the website. That was at the time fun and sad to observe.
The whole shit was created 12 years ago and is since maintened locally by one unique old-fashion-microsoft dev who also have to maintain all the hardware of all the fucking 150+ people business. You know, when the keyboard of anyone is "broken" cause it's unplugged... That's his job too. The poor guy was totally overstressed on a daily basis and his tech knowledge just saddly losts themeselves somewhere in the way. He was my n+1 in a tech team of 3 people : him, a young and inexperimented so-called "php developer" who was in charge of the website (btw full of security holes I discovered and dealed with when I first arrive at the job), and myself.
The database was a hell of 100+ tables of business and marketing data with a ton of specific logic added on-the-go during years. No consistent data model or naming. No utf8. Fucked up relations that ends with queries long enough to fill books. And that's not all, all the customers passwords was just stored there uncrypted. Several very big companies and administrations were some of these clients. I was insisting on the passwords point litterally all the time, that was an easy security fix and a good start... But no, in two years of discussions on the subject I never achieved to have them focusing on other considerations than "our customers like that we can remind them their password by a simple phone call if they lost it". What. The. Fuck. WHATTHEFUCK!
Eventually I ran myself out of this nightmare. I had a few bad jobs already, and worked on shitty software already. But that one really blows my mind (and motivation for a time too). Happy it's over.1 -
For all my friends here who have known me for years can easily notice there has been a drastic change in me.
I used to be confident. That shit was hollow but I used to laugh in the face of fear. I was ignorant and that ignorance fueled a lot of the much needed confidence.
Over the years, I learned a lot. The more I know, the more I realised how much I don't know. And for all that I know, I have to use the brain power to retain and implement it, else it rusts.
This image is of my 2021 goals that I drafted last December. Wasn't able to achieve the first, the last and the art one. But surely got myself surrounded by some of the smartest people I have ever worked with.
Now they have rightly said, be careful with what you wish for.
MY CONFIDENCE IS SHATTERED.
I feel dumb. Constant imposter syndrome. While I am learning every moment and there is no measure to it, I feel incompetent to an extent that I have started questioning how did I even reach this far?!
While, yet again I am the youngest in my team, my manager is bit micromanaging and agressive with OKRs/KPIs and tech team isn't very supportive creating constant friction (something I never faced with developers in my life because devs are my best friends), I fear how much more time will I take to ramp up in this new job and feel confident enough to tackle things on my own without constant nudge from leadership or different teams?
Or is it just that I have burnt out firefighting and lost the motivation I had?
After all, what does this all even mean?
10 -
TL;DR: I'm stressed out over choosing a side project because of the commitment and fear of failure :(
I'm a student and summer vacation starts in 3 days (and actually has already started for me, thanks to a "smartly planned" hospital stay), so I'm currently looking for a cool project to start. This will be my third summer vacation during which I want to make complete a project, and I never actually did it. The first year, I couldn't think of any reasonable, doable project which would be interesting and fitting for the time scope (I was quite new to programming back then, so I probably couldn't have done things that would be interesting to me, an any project that I could've done would just take 20 minutes, cause I wouldn't understand anything more complex). The second time, I chose a project too big with too much new things I had to learn on the go. I actually pushed through for nearly a week, but then I realized that I only completed like 25% in that time, so I lost my motivation, thinking I could never finish it, while not wanting to start a complete new project, because that would've felt like wasting the time I put into my first project. It was still a valuable project and I learned a lot by doing it, but this year I want to actually finish a project; so I'm really stressed out right now trying to come up with a good project.
Usually I have millions of vague ideas in my head, but as soon as it comes to choosing, every single one seems to be the wrong one, or I forget about all of them. Everything that kinda interests me seems way to big and complicated to me, but I sometimes feel like I'm just underestimating my abilities, but on the other hand I have ~25 projects on my hard drive, of which 4 or 5 are finished and most will never be finished. :/
And it's just so overwhelming to choose something like that, because on one hand I really want to do a bigger project that I actually finish, and summer vacation is the only time I have so much time to code, and I love coding, but on the other hand choosing such a project that I will work 2-3 weeks on is too much commitment and also I'm anxious about failing it and never finish it, just abandon a buggy mess. Am I the only one to feel that way, or are you too having problems choosing side problems?
And, I guess if you have any ideas for a suitable project (literally anything, so that I might be exposed to some new ideas), just comment it.14 -
So at the beginning of the year I took a new job at a large, stable company. Leaving a failing startup, toxic leadership, and an absolutely stellar development team in the process. Given what's happened in the world since then, I'm overall pretty happy with the decision to have some more stability for me and my family.
That being said, I'm super bummed out (and weirdly burned out) now because I feel like I'm becoming a worse engineer.
I've worked for large organizations before (single digit thousands of employees), but never have I experienced a personification of enterprise memes like this. Leadership too out of touch, lots of bullshit work just to make worthless reports look good, horrific legacy codebases and infrastructure, you name it.
My biggest problem are the expectations are shockingly low. I went from a hyper demanding work environment where the fate of the entire company seemed to hang in the balance each and every week, to an environment where we literally invent arbitrary, bullshit deadlines and requirements so we have something to feel some stress about. And even still, most of the deadlines are laughably far away. The pace of work that's not only accepted, but praised is so slow that I find myself procrastinating more and more. I spend so little time doing any work, and even less time doing things that would pass as "interesting", that I feel like the engineering and problem solving part of my brain is starting to rot.
To make matters worse, the culture is weirdly confrontational despite the pace being so slow. The people here are _incredibly_ pedantic and will launch into 15 minute arguments over the tiniest incorrect details in a story title. Interrupting someone just so you can say what they were going to say is a daily trial. And most ridiculous of all, _repeating_ word for word what someone _just_ finished saying like it was your thought and you didn't even hear them. I don't even know what the motivation for this could be because it makes them look like total clowns.
I've tried to bring up some of the things I find ridiculous, but most everyone has just accepted them at this point and there's virtually no effort to try and make things better. I only get stupid non-answers like "obviously you've never worked at a large enterprise before". Yes I have. Twice. We didn't partake in half the bullshit that happens here.
Honestly this was all just a passing frustration for the first month or two, but 7 months in I'm starting to see myself become complacent. My current output would be absolutely _shameful_ to myself from a year ago, and even my personality has started to shift to the point that I just go with the flow and don't challenge anything.
I've stopped keeping up with tech trends. I've stopped experimenting with new things. I've tried to do more work on personal projects, but the burnout is starting to affect my life outside of work. In general I've just completely stopped trying, and I absolutely fucking hate it.
I also feel like a total tool for complaining about having a cushy, stable job where I barely have to do anything given the current world climate. But I'm more miserable now than I think I've every been in my career. Has anyone else experienced this and found ways to combat it? How do you get your motivation back once it's lost and there isn't even any pressure to regain it?
I totally blame myself for becoming part of this joke. That's totally on me for not continuing to push myself, but I never realized how much of my "drive" from the last job was coming from the high stakes we were operating under. I really just want to get back to being proud of my work and pushing to be better.
Anyway, sorry for the lengthy post. This turned out to be a weirder rant/self-roast than I intended. But I'm hoping this will be the first step to kicking my own ass back into shape.5 -
Fuck I wish I knew what to do about low motivation!!! I have some ideas I think are really great, some that might be profitable, and fuck I just don’t do any of them. I spend more time panicking about what to do than anything else. But damn so much time wasted when I just needed a little guidance or a little planning or a little like less than $100 more money. That frustrates me to no end.
There’s so much bullshit to everything. This does follow up to my wk106 rant, where I’m trying to rationalize the tons of code that are behind the smallest features. How many thousands of builds go into a deploy. Just swallowing how much rite in software.
I feel like a failure at my job at times but what sucks is I’m just in the middle. Not the most experienced dev, not the least. I’ve got my feet wet in a number of things, but not a solid enough stack for a lot.
BUT SOMEHOW I GOTTA BE MOTIVATED TO LEARN. FFS I CAN DO BETTER BUT MY INSIDE IS BROKEN SOMETIMES AND I JUST WANK OFF FUCK GET IT TOGETHER.
Yea, I fight with myself a lot. I have a big ego and I’m a piece of shit at the same time. Idk. That is annoying too. If only I could get really motivated and focused on some of these projects I could do amazing things. I’ve never struggled with a subject I applied myself to. I just wasn’t motivated. I don’t know how to fix it and I wish I did. I also don’t know what the end game for me holds.
This whole complex really scares me for later life. I will have regrets because my mind builds impossible plans for good, but if I achieve any of it I WILL THINK damn I should have not dealt with this and done x. Like I could make world peace but be like damn coulda rebuilt cars or some stupid shit.
So I’ll conclude with that I’ve done a lot of jobs around the house, and yes working with drywall sucks. So sometimes I’ll think about that. But damn. That doesn’t last because I know I can do it well if I apply myself.
All this leads to getting overextended which is another huge motivation killer. I’m trying to learn self control and focus. But also I need small victories along the way. Very annoying.
Well at least I was motivated to finish this rant. I have a few weekly rants I wanted to participate in but couldn’t even find the motivation for that. There was a toxic person in my life then and I’m slowly getting back to normal but I know that even normal me struggles with motivation. Plus that toxic person was my friend and I’ve lost a lot of (long term) friends recently and that is a real drag. But they needed to go. But I wish they had just shut up sometimes then they wouldn’t have been so toxic. But I digress.
I know I have so many ideas I can’t do them all even if I am motivated and for some time is of the essence.
So look out for some collabs. And grab that motivation wherever you can find it.1 -
It's been two months since I've left my previous job, after 1.5 years. I never had the feeling my boss trusted his dev team, since he was checking up on us regularly, even though we had planned out a sprint and work for us was "clear". I say "clear", because every single feature on this project was pretty much half-baked, since they were just ideas our boss/PO (same person) on the spot and were labeled as "the next big thing" without every properly writing them out as user stories. Every demo came with a bunch of criticism, because features weren't implemented "as he imagined", because what do you know, the user stories weren't properly described anyway. Bringing that up as counter-argument also made him angry every time, so that didn't help much either. The launch of the platform was also postponed every time because of vague reasons, so that didn't make the project any more interesting either.
It took a while before I got sick of this of this pretty hopeless situation and toxic environment. Mind you, it was my first job since I graduated, so I was a bit naive thinking the working environment would improve and aforementioned company issues would be resolved over time. Eventually, I ran out of patience and motivation, so I finally bit the bullet and handed in my resignation letter.
From that moment, I at least had an end in sight, since I was still obliged to do my four-week notice period, which felt like an eternity. The borderline childish and sociopathic behaviour of my boss didn't make it any better (e.g. checking up on me even more, more mistrust, randomly accusing me of ruining the working atmosphere because I shared a meme with a colleague of mine and didn't involve him, going lunching with all of my colleagues but explicitly asking me to stay at work, ...). Being forced to work from home the last 2 weeks as part of the country's lockdown measures at least helped my sanity a bit, since I had the comfort of my home office and not the frequent "looking over your shoulders to check if you're still working".
By the last day of my notice period, I was bitter, exhausted, lost confidence in my skills and had completely lost my joy of being a developer. I had to physically meet with my boss one more time to hand in the company laptop. He thanked me for my service and said that we'd keep in touch. I hope I won't keep that promise (he made a lot of false promises before, too), because I'd rather never encounter him ever again. It felt like a huge relief to finally close the door of this bad experience behind me for good.
Now, 2 months later, I've got a new job and rediscovered my joy for coding, mostly thanks to the complete opposite of a toxic environment here, management which actually has respect and faith in me and a challenging but fun project. My mental state has made a complete turnaround compared to two months ago. I have absolutely no regrets of switching jobs. If only I had made that decision sooner.4 -
I'm getting beat up pretty bad by Rust. I like it so far but man is it hard. Imposter-syndrome is almost making me lose motivation. Almost, but I won't quit, one day I'll get there.
I think the primary reason I think I'm having such a hard time is that I'm trying to learn stuff that prevents me from making some mistakes that I have never run into. I know a bit of the theory but no hand's on experience on double-free errors, memory leaks and weird low-level stuff. I read the documentation, mostly understand what stuff is for but when I go write code I'm just like "now what?". I don't have enough experience to know when and where to use some concepts and I'm super lost. I don't know where to start and the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by all sorts of new stuff is at the same time exciting and frightening.
I have never, as a programmer, thought something was hard. All of my past knowledge required dedication, work and patience, but I wouldn't say I ever felt something was *hard*. But Rust... damn. Rust is hard.
Hopefully at the end of this super steep learning curve I'll know a lot more stuff and have stronger "dev powers" and be one step closer to being as knowledgeable as some of you guys around here to whom I look up to.2 -
I think I need some "programming detox", a couple weeks away from any kind of software development. It's just not fun anymore, I have lost my drive, I'm lazy to learn new stuff, I never finish my projects, I don't even know if I enjoy web development anymore.
Actually, I'm kind of lost on what to do with my life.
I don't want to become a full time web developer because it's boring, it's always the same shit: write frontend with some sort of framework, design database, write backend, rinse and repeat. There's nothing new, all projects seem to have the same requirements.
I don't want to get into machine learning and whatnot because it's a lot of math and theory, I like math but idk if I would like doing that all day. Same goes for basically anything related to research.
Low level stuff: on paper I like it, it's interesting, but I'm too lazy to learn and whenever I come up with a robotics project I end up making a shopping list and forgetting about it because either 1) stuff is too expensive or 2) I can't make the parts I want without spending a lot of money on tools. Also from what I can see in school, VHDL is boring af.
I just don't know what I like anymore, nothing gets me excited, not even video games. I used to like csgo but I just suck at it and I only play it because there's nothing else to play and deep down I still have a little bit of hope of becoming a decent player, even though I know I never will.
I just don't know what I want out of life. Sometimes I just like having tons of school assignments (especially calculus ones) just to keep me busy.8 -
Fuck me, I lost my motivation AGAIN!
I mean, yea, this is a big project and I alone am obviously not enough workforce to do it, but I at least hoped for a prototype. And instead of writing anything like that, I end up writing all sorts of unnecessary modules and wrappers for game engine functions. Grrr.3 -
I don't know my problem is. I lost my motivation to code, my enthusiasm and excitement to read a code and solve a problem. My love of my life for 6 years whom I thought she's the one, gave up on us. It was a long journey, lots of ups and downs, but really worth the time and sacrifice. Now, she's doing good, very happy on her life judging from her social media. Can't believe she just moved for 2 months. To be honest, i want her to be happy but quite bitter that she just moved on quite fast. And I don't if this is the reason why I lost my motivation and enthusiasm to code. Or maybe I just don't like the project we're working on. Well, I really don't like it since it's a mobile game, I really want to build webapp or mobile app but it's too late to change the project.
I'm not like this, I used to code until morning without noticing the time, excited to solve a problem that stuck on me for quite a while. I really became a lazy person right now. I feel the pressure to finish the project but I don't see myself working on it, I don't feel interested reading a code. I just play computer games instead of working on my project during my free time. I don't know if I'm depressed. I socialized with people, have fun, happy when I'm with them, but when I'm alone, sadness starts to creep in. I feel like there's an empty void in myself. I don't know, i just want the motivation and energy to work on my project. Im tired, lazy, and feeling burnt out. If you read until this very last sentence, thank you and I'm sorry for reading this nonsense.5 -
!rant, throw everything away
When you spend 9 hour at work, 2 hours in that fucking exploded bus, tries to spend time with friends and family, spend enough time with that one special person, try to sleep descently and manage to work on your personal projects during that two hours in the bus, and that each day, each week, the whole year.
You need a lot of motivation!
But when today I loose two months of work because of a hardware problem and that (because I don't have internet in the bus) I didn't backup on GitHub , I just have lost all motivation and will!
I just can't anymore!
FML5 -
Day 2 of trying to get into android development with flutter.
- Downloads Android Studio
- Tries to download Android-SDK from Android Studio's SDK Manager: "Error: Android SDK is missing or out of date".
YEAH NO FUCKING WAY, THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING TO DOWNLOAD IT.
- Uninstalls flutter and android studio
Lost all motivation to get into mobile development again.7 -
My fiance is also a developer, we moved to a bigger city and she is looking for a job. She lost all motivation and doesn't want to look at any code anymore... Not even my freelance projects.. Does anyone have any motivational things to say? She doesn't use devrant, but i'll show her this post.3
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I’ve been coding for over 25 years, for the last 10 years my primary languages are C#, C++, Xaml. Prior to that I used to develop web applications.
Just recently, I’ve totally lost my motivation to code, I used to come home at nights and do stuff for myself, at work i used to develop utilities and apis to help everyone, some of which have been made production ready and released.
Now I just cannot be arsed......
I need to get out of this rut.
☹️😢14 -
G'day lads and lass',
Just jumping in as I seem to have been inactive for a few weeks and thought I'd update those who care, things have sort of taken a steep fall down when it comes to programming, seem to have fallen into a bit of a depression with it as every time I get the urge to do anything, by the time I actually start; I've already just lost interest and have no motivation anymore, so in light I'm taking another break from most things dev related (Might start some super minor and bullshit projects that'll probably be abandoned on github after like 5 commits)
But on the other side things have never been better, just about to finalise purchasing a block of land start building my first house with my fiance and my job has been secured after 6 months of probation, starting to gain traction with starting up my food business and seem to have a lot less 'real life' stress on my shoulders.
That being said I probably will still browse dev rant on the occasion but don't expect anymore half assed rants from me for a fair while..
Plan on throwing some of my already abandoned projects on github for anyone who might want to start picking up the pieces and finish what I never could.
(Don't worry Jilano, I'll never stop wearing the flanny and will still always have a beer in one hand, I'm not going anywhere mate)2 -
Spent an hour trying to figure out why Chrome wouldn't work at all. Even IE was working on my laptop.
Restarted the whole thing.
Now it works.....and I already lost most of my motivation to code. Just great... -
My website which uses Vue.js (with node) and Flask.I can log into it and change details but then the holidays were over and I lost my already lacking motivation. 😩
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I've been a frontend engineer at 6 companies for the last 10 years. Both big and small companies currently at the largest I've ever worked for. I'm totally over it. Maybe burnt out is the term. I have zero motivation to do any work or coding. I'm not a lazy person. I love working, solving problems, learning new things. I'm just sick of what I do. I used to love following all the newest tech trends, following devs on twitter, checking hacker news and creating side projects. Now I feel like my job has lost all that joy and excitement. I work remote and have been for the past 3 years. I wonder how much of that, not having any social feedback and interaction around the job has attributed to me feeling like this. All the JS frameworks suck. PR reviews, process, requirements; I'm just tired of everything. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what did you do? Were you able to find the passion for programming again?14
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I don't know if it's age, having too many other things I can/need do, not having any more major personal tech itches to scratch, or just seeing no point in learning any new tech unless I need it for work... But I've just been coding less personally... And maybe even at work...
I feel like in terms of being a dev, there's nothing else I want anymore, nothing I want to learn unless I actually need it...
I haven't done any major personal projects in maybe the last year or more (although I have made small tweaks to a few of my existing ones).
And well I don't care anymore about React, Angular, or the latest JS frameworks or have any interested with Cloud or Docker....
And as long as I have a decent job, even though it's pretty boring and not much growth.... I don't care and no longer bother trying to get a better one...
Wondering if anyone else feels like they have peaked or just lost the drive and motivation to get better?
I don't know maybe it's just work... Ok my team I think I'm probably the best and will I'm tired of telling other people what they should do.... And maybe also tired of looking for or chasing "opportunities" that don't seem to lead to anything.... Except wasted time and effort?7 -
How can I start coding again the same way I did before. I have lost the motivation now. My studies don't allow me devote much of my time on coding but I wanna do it anyway. How to get back my motivation😔😔4
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Don't feel like working on side project since yesterday. I was so excited throughout the week but lost motivation on Friday. I just feel like sleeping.1
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Last weak I tried to use Linux Arch on my VM. The only Linux distribution I'm used to is Ubuntu and the fist time I launched Arch I completely forgot that it was " do it yourself ". And that the ISO isn't actually a fancy installer like the Ubuntu one.
So I started following a guide and found out that the arch wiki is actually the way to go.
I searched for 1 hour how to change the keyboard to swiss-french which was actually pretty simple.
After that exhausting research that made me realise how ignorant I am with UNIX universe, I finally tried to install the thing.
When I was done installing, it didn't want to boot after I restarted. I got stuck at the 'Booting...' screen. After a few tries I lost all my energy and motivation.
Tl;dr: Tried Arch Linux, realised I had no idea, gave up after a few tries4 -
After months and months of waiting for the devRant mousepad to become available again in their store ... it turns out it's going to be ducking expensive to get that item (shipping costs as much as the product itself... and it could take 6 more weeks to arrive!) Came on, 1-6 weeks ... the variance of the estimation is huge ... I have lost the motivation :(
10 -
I've been a consultant in the area of mobile apps for five years now and have stayed at the same company since getting my degree.
In the beginning I had an immense passion and worked on a lot of side projects/pro bono stuff during my free time. Around the same time as the pandemic hit I simply lost all my interest and energy, life has been going to work, go home, find something to eat and go to bed. I can't even find joy in playing video games, working out or cooking anymore, it's always browsing youtube/netflix because I can't find it in me to commit to anything that requires focus.
The project I'm currently in no longer gives me the ability to grow technically, it's just the same old stuff over and over with no opportunity to do proper maintenance or explore new approaches/frameworks/etc.
I recently found out that I make around 25-30% less than my peers in the same field and location, this was a blow for me since I keep getting praised both from customers, management and my fellow developers.
A year ago I asked management to find me a new project with the motivation that I don't want to stall my growth, they have yet to heed this request since I'm not easily replaced.3 -
I have lost all motivation for coding.....I have my pet projects pending. During this lockdown i decided to get work done, but for some reason i just can't get my ass working and keep wasting time.
How do you guys keep yourself motivated?8 -
I really don't know what to do with those projects which I started confidently but then left when it was about to finish because I lost motivation3
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Note: In this rant I will ask for advices, and confess some sins. I will tell my personal story- it will be long.
So basically it has been almost 2 years since I first entered the world of software development. It has been the biggest and most important quest of my life so far, but yet I feel like I missed a lot of my objectives, and lots of stuff did not go the way I wanted them to be, and it makes feel frustrated and it lowered my self esteem greatly. I feel confused and a bit depressed, and don't know what to do.
I'll start: I'm 23 years old. 2 years ago I was still a soldier(where I live there is a forced conscription law) in a sysadmin/security role. I grew tired of the ops world and got drawn more and more into programming. A tremendous passion became to burn in me, as I began to write small programs in Python and shell scripts. I wanted to level up more seriously so I started reading programming books and got myself into a 10 month Java course.
In the meanwhile I got released from army duty and got a job as a security sysadmin at a large local telco company. Job was boring and unchallenging but it payed well. I had worked there for 1 year and at the same time learned more and more stuff from 2 best friends who have been freelance developers for years. I have learned how to build full-stack mobile apps and some webdev, mainly Android and Node.js. However because I was very inexperienced and lacked discipline, all of my side projects failed horribly, and all attempts to work with my experienced friends have failed too- I feel they lost a lot of trust for me(they don't say it, but I feel it, maybe I'm wrong).
I began to realise I had to leave this job and seek a developer job in order to get better, and my wish came true 6 months ago when I finally got accepted into a startup as a fullstack webdev, for a bit lower wage but I felt it was worth it. I was overjoyed.
But now my old problems did not end, they just changed. My new job is a thousand times harder and more intensive than the old one. I feel like it sucks all the energy and motivation that was still left in me, and I have learned almost nothing in my free time, returning home exhausted. My bosses are not impressed from my work despite me being pretty junior level, and I feel like I'm in a vicious cycle that keeps me from advancing my abilities. My developer friends I mentioned earlier have jobs like I do and still manage to develop very impressive side projects and even make a nice sum of money from them, while I can't even concetrate on stupid toy projects and learning.
I don't know why It is like this. I feel pathetic and ashamed of my developer sins and lack of discipline. During that time I also gained some weight that I'm trying t lose now... I know not all of it is my fault but it makes me feel like crap.
Sorry for the long story. I just feel I need to spill it out and hope to get some advices from you guys who may or may not have similar experiences. Thanks in advance for reading this.2 -
So this is kinda hard to talk about but.. I finally got to a point in my career where I don't have a boss, work remote, make my own schedule etc.. problem is .. I am very low on productivity I feel like I'm working maybe 1/10th of my capacity and although Yea this may sound dream-like .. it gets old and I'm realizing that I used to excel at my last job for my boss.. I wanted to please him in every way for validation and acceptance..
Yea that's dysfunctional as fuck .. so basically how the hell do i use my own mind to drive my excellence? I'm so lost and don't really know how to find the motivation that people pleasing once brought me..
For some context as well, I have also done a lot of psychedelics over the past couple years and it has basically destroyed my ego .. "but that's a good thing" you say?
Well yes and no, I used to rely on my ego to drive me on my own in lieu of wanting acceptance and validation from my boss. So that was a bit unexpected, getting rid of my ego got rid of my dysfunctional drives to prove myself to others and seek acceptance..
Gahh I'm ranting :'D
TL;DR: how do you motivate yourself if you've traditionally found motivation through pleasing others???4 -
Recently I deal with low motivation, because of my internship. I have to write a lot of reports and I just hate that. I'm almost at the end of my internship, these reports just get higher priority.
So instead of being busy with my internship I just start a random side project. The advantage is that I don't think about the reports and the disadvantage is that I don't think about the reports... so at the moment I just don't want to do anything at all.
What I meant to say is, please keep in mind that it's not all about work. Just do stuff that you like, but make sure you have the right balance between it. I just started too late with a relaxing side project and lost track of time and now I only can work on my reports, writing 10 lines a day or so..1 -
Hello fellow ranters ,
A few weeks ago we started working from home because of the Coronavirus, I have personally found it very hard to perform at work and have lost all motivation to do anything other than the bare minimum required by the company , around a week ago we were officially furloughed , my question to you guys is : what are some things I can do to exercise my brain and make sure my skills stay sharp, I am a JavaScript , node.js dev , I’m talking coding challenges and other things , also can anyone else relate ?8 -
I finally got to code something yesterday (I've been slacking OTL everytime I open the Java IDE I use my motivation flies out the window) and I've written down some things to help me do what I need because I forget it if I keep it all in my head. Not that this is a big thing, but it's just to help me to not forget what I've learnt, because I know that'll happen if I don't code.
So I'm coding and checking my notes and all, headphones on, heavy metal blasting, I guess I could say I was in the zone.
Suddenly I get a message from my dad asking me to come to the living room. Turns out my mom had been calling me but I couldn't hear it because I had the headphones on... again 😅 (Sorry mom 😇)
So I left my things and walked to the living room. My mom wanted me to put 2 images I've made for her together. I sat on the couch and waited. And waited. I waited more than I've coded before they called me. I was getting impatient because I was trying to code and I'd been called to wait ;u; I thought I could do it in her computer because it was a simple paint thing so I didn't need the editing program I use.
When she finally showed me what she wanted me to do and I noticed that I hadn't edited one the image she provided me correctly (it didn't look good either way, I butchered the logo she'd given me because stray pixels are a thing that exist 😒 reducing the image also kinda killed it 😅). So I come back to my room and edited it again and made it look a bit better, did what she wanted me to do in the first place and emailed it to her. I went back to the living room and checked it it was good and went back.
I lost too much time and the motivation to code. Played for a bit and then forced myself to go back to coding because I didn't feel motivated (not that I don't like coding, I just lack the motivation most of the time). When I realized it it was 2h30 am and I was getting tired 😴2 -
I fucking lost my motivation for what I wrote a bug (unknowingly intentionally) instead of a feature. EXACT FUCKING OPPOSITE
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Really hate it when a project is switching focus every month or so. You start focusing and committing a lot of time to make things work. Taking initiative to enhance things. Then some weeks later management is switching focus and you have to port all fixes in the new code base. Then some weeks later you have to work on the things you did before but with some adjustments that result in the old code not being possible to use and you have to port fixes again. When complaining you sometimes get the question "how hard can it be, it's just some code". Some motivation is lost every time. And repeat this like a "while true" loop.
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Who else is frustrated/burnout at building products that never gets into production?
When I work for a company I always tend to do everything with good practices, spend a lot of time thinking on the best ways to build x feature, and then the company falls into the infinite loop of adding stupid features, and then I've been working for 2 years and 0 paid customers. Funny that we've Sentry, GA, Hotjar sitting there doing nothing.
I'm honestly hating the startup environment rn. Good thing is that I've learnt a lot and salary is good. But also I lost all motivation.
Any recommendations for a tired dev?7 -
Finally some real vacation. Heavily needed. Can't stand that type of remote work any more. Our dailies and pull requests have become mere dick-measuring contests. Morally puffed statements about THE RIGHT way to do agile and clean code, and architecture. Endless vacuous, monologues, which they only endure so they can start our own - but shit just does not get done.
And then they don't want to invest only a day or some hours to get some integration tests running on more machines, which could save the one overworked tester we have a lot of work. But whatever. I've lost all motivation and hope. Shall they deal with their own shit. Maybe I just need more sleep or some antidepressants, because I'm really fed up with it.
Makes we wonder why I even fought this battle of the last two weeks, when thanks to Apple's changes in macOS's codesigning our new binary wouldn't run on any "real" machine. But according to them packaging and signing is only a trivial issue, nothing to do with code. Yeah, well, then they should do that shit themselves next time.1 -
I'm struggling with learning JavaScript and wondered if anyone had advice that would make learning and retaining it a little easier.
I've been through multiple HTML and CSS fundamentals courses on various apps and a couple on JavaScript and though I have the basics more or less down the more advanced stuff is really kicking my brains butt.
I would ask this on Sololearn but 90% of people on there are morons who struggle to even use the app let alone read. A page can give you the answer to a question that follows and you got people saying that they need help with the answer. I mean how dumb can you be?
I'm not looking for an easy ride but I do feel I lack direction and with so many resources out there I'm a bit lost as to what experienced devs think are good.
I'm pretty consistent on at least on hour a day, 7 days a week. Though I only have about 2 months of experience which isn't crap in regards to the bigger picture. So I'm still extremely green but also very dedicated and want to learn so I can change careers.
Anyways opinions and or criticisms are welcome.Cheers.18 -
I started programming pretty young, launched many small businesses (from gaming to eCommerce, nothing really successful), by the time I got to my engineering school to get my CS degree, I already had a good knowledge base and I was way advanced than the other students, I even could learn faster alone compared to having a teacher and fixed hourly classes. But now after graduating, I become a developer at a startup (a story for another day), I totally lost my motivation to learn, to programme and to start side projects. Maybe it's become boring or maybe I just hate being an employe.
Did you ever feel that way?3
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