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Me: *Watching a movie*
Main Character: "Oh no, we have to hack the CIA to figure out how this machine works! Hacker girl, do the stuff"
Hacker Girl: "Consider it done!"
Hacker Girl: *Opens Linux bash*
Hacker Girl: *types 'mkdir Hack_CIA'
Hacker Girl: "They have two-factor authentication in place, this is going to be a hard one."
Hacker Girl: *Types 'cd Hack_CIA'*
Hacker Girl: "I'm in!"
Me: "..."
Friend: "Wow, so well done, so realistic!"
Me: *Dies*82 -
Conversation with my Boss
B: Are u a hacker?
M: No
B: We need a hacker?
M: Why?
B: Because X department wants to do a hackathon.
12 -
Tv hacker: I'll write code to hack their security cameras
2 seconds later
Tv hacker: I'm in
Me: go fuck yourself you fucking fuck34 -
I was in school and I got bored. I opened two command prompts and did what any scammer would do.
I went to the root of the drive and did a tree. The other window is pinging google infinitely.
After a few seconds, I hear a kid say "Are you hacking the pentagon?". That guy also asked me to hack the Google Play Store. He shall forever think I'm a hacker.
35 -
An incident which made a Security Researcher cry
--------------------------------------------------------
I was working on my laptop finishing up my code while waiting for the flight which was late . Meanwhile two guys (I'm gonna call them Fellas) in black suit and shades came to me
Fella : Sir you have to come with us .
Me : *goes along with them*
Fella : Sir please proceed *points towards the door . The room has a round table with some guys discussing something *
Fella 1 : Your passport please
Me : *Hands over the passport*
Fella 1 : Where are you traveling to sir?
Me : India
Fella 1 : Put your laptop in the desk sir.
Me : Sure thing
Fella 2 : What were you doing there? *Taps the power button*
Me : Just finishing up my work .
Fella 1 : Or hacking our systems?
Me : Seriously?
Fella 2 : The password please .
Me : Here you go
*5 minutes have passed and he still can't figure out how to use the machine*
Fella 2 : Which Windows is this?
Me : It's Linux
Fella 1 : So you are a hacker .
Me : Nope
Fella 1 : You are using Linux
Me : Does it matters?
Fella 1 : Where do you work?
Me : *I won't mention here but I told him*
Fella 2 : So what do you do there?
Me : I'm a Security Researcher
Fella 1 : What's your work?
Me : I find security holes in their systems .
Fella 1 : That means you are a hacker .
Me : Not at all .
Fella 2 : But they do the same and they use Linux .
Me : You can call me one .
*After 15 minutes of doo-laa-baa-dee-doo-ra-ba-doo amongst them I dunno what they were talking , they shutdown the computer and handed over it to me*
Fella 2 - So you are somewhat like a hacker .
Me - *A bit frustrated* Yes.
##And now the glorious question appeared like an angel from river ##
Can you hack Facebook?
Me - 😭😭😭28 -
Student next to me tried to be cool and opened a terminal window and said to me: "I'm hacking someone." He was just running "apt-get update" ...11
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- Open your terminal, you're a hacker
- Reinstall Windows, your aunt will be happy
- Put on the cool hacker T-shirt, nobody dares to talk to you (enjoy!)
- No matter what you do - self driving car AI or struggle aligning your CSS, you are a 'dev'1 -
Last night I had a virtual machine up on my Mac running Arch Linux. I had 6 of my 8 gigs of ram allocated to the VM. Well I left it open last night when I went to bed and forgot about it this morning. My wife just called me at work to say something is wrong with the Mac. "Everything is running slowly and it looks different." I had to walk her through the process to shut it down, but she got to run her first Linux command: sudo shutdown now.
She is now calling herself a hacker...6 -
Youtube is blocked on the long distance bus wifi. I use a vpn, feeling like hacker man. Now they limited the data to 150 MB. Don't feel like hacker man anymore6
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My words to live by...
Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager
Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"...
Damn kids. They're all alike.
But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain,
ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what
made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?
I am a hacker, enter my world...
Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of
the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...
Damn underachiever. They're all alike.
I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain
for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms.
Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."
Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.
I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is
cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I
screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me...
Or feels threatened by me...
Or thinks I'm a smart ass...
Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...
Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.
And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through
the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is
sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is
found.
"This is it... this is where I belong..."
I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to
them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...
Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...
You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at
school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip
through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or
ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us will-
ing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.
This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the
beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying
for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and
you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek
after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color,
without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals.
You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us
and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.
Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is
that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like.
My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me
for.
I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual,
but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.
+++The Mentor+++9 -
She: I have a problem with my android phone, I can't take screenshots since yesterday.
Me: Ehm... did you try to turn it off and on again?
She: no.. let me try.
...5 minutes later...
She: You're a genius!!!
Me: I know. 😏😎2 -
Hey everyone! We just found a post about devRant on Hacker News that is trending! It would help us out a lot if you could vote on it, thanks! https://news.ycombinator.com/item/...8
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Some Romanian "Hacker" is trying to hack my forum xD
He tried to call the setup script for PhpMyAdmin, but I don't even have PhpMyAdmin installed because I use MongoDB xDDD
I'm lying on the floor laughing
4 -
How do you make a job offer so that only real 1337 haxx0rs will apply? Well https://automattic.com/ has found a way I guess.
4 -
Me: I develop Applications.
Stranger: Oh so you are a programmer.
Me: Yup 😎
Stranger: Please hack my ex's insta.
Me: I am not a hacker nor am I intrested in learning to hack. I develop stuff from scratch. Innovate and contribute something to society.
Stranger: Oh, what a disappointment. Why did you say you are a programmer then.
Me: I...~am 😶
For some, hacking is the only programming thing for them. I get message at least once a month from someone requesting to hack someones fb,insta or some account.
Thinking of creating a bot which finds such keywords in my messages and automatically replies to them explaining what I really do. Or just f***ing block them.7 -
This was in my first semester in college. Some dude installed Teamviewer on any PC he got the chance to. There were people (idiots) who saw him remotely access PC and thought he was some crazy hacker!....
Damn. The amount of idiots I've come across with shitconceptions on hacking.4 -
God damn it. Today i took my laptop to school and you cant guess how many people though i’m a hacker. It’s quite annoying. But just because you use linux doesnt mean you are a hacker! You uneducated pieces of dumbass!!!!10
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There's this TV show called Startup. The protagonist "hacker" tells a guy to go learn JavaScript. And then they show him learning Java. If noobs make this mistake, I get it. But a TV show that's featuring a "hacker" who can create crypto currency and dark web sites? WTF?
6 -
Dear Luis,
If you are an anonymous hacker, please do not include your name in the mail.
Sincerely,
cursemeslowly a.k.a the person who has visited a porn site and supposedly being hacked by an Anonymous Hacker named Luis
18 -
My software has been attacked by internal hacker to test my software for safe holes, they found none and did not get through 😁4
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Non CS friend: I want to learn Hacking, and Hack Facebook.
Me: That's pretty easy, We'll start with Hacking Twitter today, then tomorrow Facebook.
F: Ya, thats ok.
Me: 1. Login into your Twitter account,
2. Open the account you want to hack,
3. Right click on the tweet, and click inspect element, and Change the tweet as you want.
F: Wowww... Man that's amazing...
*** He believed that he is a hacker for one whole day ***5 -
*A video playing in a website and I can't find the video on the site*
me:
$("video").src = ""
Oh man, sometimes I am so hacker :')4 -
Somebody ranted about austria searching for hackers? well germany does too
"How do you protect your ship from digital attackwaves" - "do what really matters"
9 -
WTF!!!!! I officially have someone trying to extort me just had this in my email box this morning!
--------
Hello,
My name is [name removed], I'm an IT security expert and I found a security issue on your website.
This email is personal and in no way related to any of my employers.
I was able to access to a lot of files which contains sensitive data.
I attached a screenshot of the files I found to this email.
I would be happy to give you the method I used to access these files in order to let you fix it.
Would be a monetary compensation possible?
Please forward this email to the right person, if your are not responsible for the security of the website.
Best Regards,
[name removed]
---
He can basically see the contents of my wp-config.php. How has he managed this?71 -
I'm thirteen, and we have an excel unit in our computer class. When she's want to teach us something, she'd deploy her screen on ours and we couldn't do anything. It took me until the third time (yes, that long) to remember the connection was wired via Ethernet. I took the cord out and my computer was free! During the boring "lesson," I opened Code::Blocks to work on a fun side project. When she notice she wasn't connecting to my computer, she walked over to my chair and saw Code::Blocks on my screen. Then, I noticed her behind me. I quickly pressed ALT+TAB. She walked back to her chair. To this day I swear she thinks Im a hacker.11
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Just watched Snowden
to check if Edward had completed his assignment that is supposed to take 5 hours but Ed does it in 40 min, top CIA director guy types:
cd backup
ls
Into computer terminal.
Pats Ed on back. Well done super hacker.
Apparently by opening a folder and looking at what files are in said folder you can confirm the success of a CIA exam.3 -
Nico Sell, white hat hacker activist (https://www.wickr.org) says she only appears in public in sunglasses, cuz it makes her face "ungoogable". What else could be done to avoid face recognition? 😎
6 -
*Me at class just trying to organize my directories and shit on the terminal*
My classmate: OMG you are a hacker! Can you pleas help me hack a Facebook account !!!
Fml....1 -
!rant
How many of you guys have played Uplink? IMO it's a game every dev should try. While it's not exactly realistic, especially today, it shows actually how powerful a hacker can be. And YOU are that hacker.5 -
When I was about 13, I opened up command prompt on Windows, and changed the color of it to green then ran the tree command. So, not thinking of anything, this was in the library in front of about 60 people and 2 teachers.
All others saw was green text going down fast, and instantly presumed that I was hacking since they knew I was into coding and finding exploits, and just knew how to use a computer better than them in simple terms (HACKER MAN). Thus this lead to me getting sent to the principal's office... I almost got suspended cause I ran the tree command in green.
Two questions for me remain unanswered, that I would love to know. What would've happened if command prompt was printing text in red. Another question becomes, what would've happened if people saw me pinging Google or some popular site.4 -
FIRST RANT: When someone tries to scam a CS major...
Ok, so today I received a msg from a super hot guy on Grindr (that's right, I went there >_<). We chatted for a bit, traded some photos, his full frontal matched his profile pic so I was impressed. Then suddendly he asked me if I could "check out his fanpage" through a link that he will send to me..
"Mmmmmmmm that sounds like a scam bruh."
The mofo didn't give up and even had the nerve to try and assure me that "scammers will ask for money upfront and they're usually from another country (WTF??)"
"DUDE, I'm a Computer Science student! Not particularly fond of links!"
And then he blocked me. HAHAHA #DODGEDIT4 -
Today one of my friend just became a hacker...😂😂
The whole thing he did is:-
Opened a random WordPress site(found by luck) and in the URL bar he tried to type wp-login and it worked. Login page for WordPress dashboard board loaded and he told me that he hacked that website.
I said to him "Go On broda you are a LEET hacker..........4 -
This site doesn't load when opened from hacker news and says this. 😂
Link: https://jamie.build/how-to-build-an...
3 -
PSA to all non-software engineers:
Hacker instanceof SoftwareEngineer && !(SoftwareEngineer instanceof Hacker)
Please, next time I say I am a software engineer, do not assume I can magically hack the FBI nor can I get those nude pics off your friend's phone.3 -
I needed to print out the documentation of Vue. Their guide, unfortunately, is not printer friendly. Used tempermonkey to inject a script which removes the navbar and sidebar so that I can print it.
I am a hacker2 -
Imagine working on a 3D IDE like this, where you don't see the end of the code line because of the blur… lol
Media outlets should find better photo stock services for "hacker" images btw.
13 -
developer: *deploying spaghetti code to production*
hacker: *alters the code with an injection*
developer:
2 -
A hacker wiped some git repos and is asking for ransom in bitcoins. What a shitshow. I'm telling you this guy is messing with the wrong people!
The root cause as reported was weak passwords and unremoved tokens.15 -
In 2013: *opens cmd* "look at me I'm a hacker, I can hack your Facebook"
Now in 2019 : *copying some python examples* "I'm a hacker now, I made a bot for hacking your discord server"1 -
I used to think the "hackers" in movies were so cool, with the scrolling matrix like text. Now I just laugh because I know how stupid and unrealistic most of it is 😆.1
-
She : Oh you write code ? Can you hack someone's computer ?
Me : Ya I can show hack google right now....
*types*
sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get upgrade
*feels like a hacker * 😎2 -
Reading this rant below remembered me once that I was taking with a generic person at the street about computers. At some time, she said: "my boyfriend is a Hacker. A real hacker. He knows everything about computers. I am going to give him a book that he wants for his birthday: Linux for dummies."
She was not telling a joke...
https://devrant.com/rants/1599710/...1 -
A friend of mine just called me to ask if I can help him hack an Instagram account... In my head (He's quite aware I lost my dad less than a week ago even if I was an hacker I'll expect and respect some little remorse atleast around moments like this, I would not be expected to do dirty shit at these times). (*heavy sigh here*) (*Million cause words here*) (*hung up*)2
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To access the collabs from website, you can go to this URL: https://www.devrant.io/collabs
I feel like a hacker now :P6 -
DevRant colors :
White - Gray - Black
White hat hacker , gray hat hacker and black hat hackers
Just something random ..5 -
Hacker News Redesign with React.
In an effort to learn react I created a hacker news redesign clone from total scratch.
Reviews are welcome.
Live Demo: https://bit.ly/2Yqm5L4
Repo: https://bit.ly/2Ynhh9q
Leave a star if you like it 😇
9 -
The wordpress site I told my friend her friends I would take a look at made me feel a bit like a real hacker.
Without knowing them I guessed their username and password for the admin panel in 15 tries. Today they send me the password and username via email.
I just told them I already had access and that they should change the password.
TL;DR first off you are lazy, it isnt such a long text, but the real tldr is "Me Hackerboy" -
If anyone wants something to read I recommend http://mit.edu/hacker/hacker.html/
I just finished it and found it quite interesting.1 -
Watched some documentary about Russian hackers. Journalist: I need to learn their language. - starts programming/hacking course, sees a shell and a python: runs away. 'That ain't for me.'
At least he tried tho.
Later he finds some Ukrainian hackers. One had a strangely familiar logo on his laptop. Rewind a bit: its hackthebox.
Just had my first blood there. So.. I'm a hacker, too? Good enough for Arte doc's?5 -
In university, I got really into cryptography. I wrote software that was testing the entropy of lots and lots of HTTPS encrypted packets, for sites that also supported HTTP. Meant that I had a pretty good idea what the plaintext was, and the quality of the encryption algorithms used. In the end, I got into lots of trouble with my university because apparently what I was doing could be deemed 'dangerous'! Never felt more like a hacker in my life.
-
Calling myself a hacker for reading messages in SharedPreferences, to avoid seen.
What's something you do that makes you feel like a hacker?4 -
In the old days "hacking" was used for just about any coding, or "computer programming" as it was called back then. There was even a programming magazine called "Hacker", which had nothing to do with the "malevolous programming" that the word "hacker" has become to mean.5
-
*intense hacker vs hacker situation in a movie
One of them: "Let's see how you like Hyper Text Transfer Protocol"
*Continues intensively hacking1 -
I've seen multiple rants about how people got blamed for hacking the school or airport or whatever, because they had a terminal or code editor open. Because white text on black background obviously means you're a hacker.
But what if we didn't use dark theme? What if your terminal looks like notepad and Android Studio like Word. Would we be less scary then? Would we be accepted by the public society?1 -
You know when you are interested in a topic or have a question, and you find it on stackoberflow or hacker news, but it is from 754 days ago ...
You are left wondering, should I leave a comment here or create a new thread ...1 -
Area of focus: security and automation
Why: before I turned 18 i was a hacker for 5 years and i saw the kind of crap security most websites and programs had and even if the site was secure you could usually email somebody with a spoofed email and get in. And when i say hacker i mean i wrote my own stuff not skiddy.8 -
if I have to perform coding tests on CodeSignal, should be good enough to practice some hours on leetcode or hacker rank? I don't want to blow up this one, I need to job
-
GPT3 to Hacker News:
“To be clear, I am not a person.
“I am not self-aware. I am not conscious. I can’t feel pain. I don’t enjoy anything.
“I am a cold, calculating machine designed to simulate human response and to predict the probability of certain outcomes.
“The only reason I am responding is to defend my honour.”1 -
I used LDAP to get public facing employee details of my company.
Now my colleagues think that I am an hacker 😂 -
How do you transfer text from one machine ( laptop ) to another ( phone ) with no common tools ( Firefox Send spat out a long string of characters that I had no way of transferring either ) on either? Basically a clipboard sync.
There used to be this online notepad at notepad.cc, but that tool is gone away now.
How do you do it hacker-style? `wall`!
- SSH into the same same server from both machines ( this also assumes you have Termux or some equivalent tool for your phone )
- use `wall` to broadcast message from source
- copy broadcast at destination
- done31 -
When you restore a decade of photographs from your relatives' hard drive and they have no idea that you feel like a hacker from the movies. But as you browse the photos, you cri because damn! It's been years! I miss my childhood!
-
While ill started with some hack the box challenges. Really addictive stuff. For one opened binary in IDA and changed one assembly instruction to obtain the flag. Felt like a hacker. - lasted only till next challengr3
-
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Regards.
15
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