Most people.
"Dance like no one is looking"

Me.
"Sudo like you have backups"

Spend half an hour finding music to listen to while I code; Pause it after 30 seconds to concentrate on refactoring. Stays paused for rest of day.

Really getting the most out of those expensive new headphones.

My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:

Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!

YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!

Working a new job be like...

When you're in the middle of coding and people come over.

Spending whole day debugging one error. Fixed it in 10 minutes on the next day. Anyone else ?

So we hired a part time sales lady to work in our office. She sits right inside the entry to our area. Each morning I am amazed that I can make it to my desk without passing out. All I can think is this:

Need these for work.

Found a bug at the gas pump.
Can't belive it was pushed to production with it in there.

🤔
sql - Syntax error near '*entire sql command*'
😑

programming languages are not designed to talk to computers, they are designed to be readable by other programmers.

please code like it.

.toblerone {
padding: 25%;
}

devRant, the only positive and supportive online community for programmers.

until you mention an OS.

then all bets are off.

Putting headphones on and being left alone

dad: what the hell do you do again?

me 1st time asked: I'm a back end web developer, i write the code you don't see that makes things you do see work.

me 90,000th time: internet stuff.

me 83,881,178th time: computers!

There is no shame in using google to program.

'Back in the day' we had phonebook sized books of documentation on our desks we would reference constantly.

Why?

No one is going to memorize a phone book sized book. Not to mention three or four of them.

Being a good dev is about creativity, not memorization.

been there

what my work computer feels like compared to my home computer.

I was today years old when I figured this.

Whoever named the app and designed the logo is an absolute fucking genius.

When you get a day off and you want to work on a personal project, but your spouse has other plans.

I can't watch others use a computer.

That's not how you ask google a question.

You're clicking the wrong way.
You click like an idiot.

Why are you scrolling like that? do you hate moving down the page so mutch it makes you scroll like that?

Why am i forced to sit through this?
When will this end?

Got some swag in the mail today.

I was told I could get a refund for the hat if it was too small. I literally have the biggest head in the world and it fits me fine.

For those who complained, did you try taking it off and on again?

interviewer: What can you tell us about the Unity 3D engine?

me: well, i can tell you that there is no such thing. the engine is called Unity. Unity3d.com is just the website. it's a good way of telling if someone doesn't know what they are talking about.

interviewer:😐....

What kind of car would linux be?

Skiped lunch again today.

It was a case of, let me just fix this one bug.

devRant is a place to rant. Not a journal of best practices.

Can I just rant without giving a long winded backstory?

Do I have to explain myself to prevent people from commenting that the problem must be me?

If you read a rant, and you can't relate to it sympathetically.

Move along! That rant is not for you!

When people are trying to vent no one wants to see your snippy little comment about how 'unprofessional' they are being.

client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.

me: ok, how is it wrong?

client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.

me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.

client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.

me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?

clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.

repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.

client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?

me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.

!rant

As seen on a marquee:

Tetris taught me that when you try to fit in, you will disappear.

#stayweird

When they make me do some css

Pair programing on project with friend.

We both feel like the other person is doing all the work and we are not really helping.

Twice the developer power, twice the imposter syndrome.

see you in hell mac mini, the raspberry pi is taking your place connected to the tv.

when $25 of Linux out performs $300 of apple.

🤠:Hello, I need a website for my professional website. But anything more than $500 is unrealistic.

Translation

🤡:I am a stupid assclown that the future will leave behind and time will forget.

With the other members of the team refusing to learn git and making changes directly to the staging server i get to write the commit messages for everyone.

Log:
UPDATE: *informative details *

UPDATE: mark made some changes

UPDATE: colin made the same changes as mark but different

UPDATE: andrew undid all colins updates to change one link and I had to add them back in, thank gawd I commit the night before

BUGFIX: andrew keeps changing the database host to localhost and uploading it without changing it back

UPDATE: we all hate andrew

In the project management system we use with our clients I see file named, 'instructions for backup.'

I open the file and all it contains is my name and phone number.😑

I sometimes look at the code of the guy who had my job before me and I think.

Delete it.
Delete it all.
Delete it with fire.
Use the developer as kindling so it never happens again.

oh my, ai turning on it's masters is scarier than we thought.

There would be no error if you didn't try to tell me there is an error. Recursion

I have a lifetime membership to Lumosity. Not just do they know my time of death, but with auto renewal turned on I have confirmation of reincarnation. At least once, then existence is null.

I can't wait for version 2 of this comic.

No amount of backend code is seen as progress by client.

Have a web store app project that is running and looking beautifully and is currently connected to nothing.

Got scolded this week for not having any new deliverables.

Spent 15 hours on security updates and database architecture.

not mine, but haven't seen here yet.

debugging php code without turning on error reporting.

Purchase $900 laptop, it's not powerful enough so I return it and get $1,100 laptop, still not powerful enough, return it and get $1,600 laptop. Realize I have a gaming PC and don't need the laptop this powerful and I return it and repurchase the first laptop I bought with a $100 discount because it's now an opened-box, but I know for a fact that it was the one that I got in the first place and opened.

Thanks Best Buy.

Management.

The learning curve for programming is more like steps than a curve.

Really tall steps.

And they go on forever.

Eventually you die. Leaving your body as a landmark for those who come after you. Unless you're completely useless. Then your body just ends up at the bottom of a gully.

The point is don't give up. Don't die in a gully. Each dead end is a wall to clime. Every plateau is just the path to the next step.

That's not in my job description Steve!

yeah. you like that? that's what you get you naughty little mac mini.

Finally, a use for older MacBooks.

@dfox
Fat avatar plz.
Not all programmers are steve jobs, some are Steve Woz.
Not proud to be fat, not claiming fat shaming.
I just want to be represented.
Not upset if this is not possible, just a suggestion.
Willing to do the art myself if you like.

but when are they ever?

Go to bed.
No good sudo happen after 2 am.

After a month of developing for VR I Shattered a light bulb by punching it as hard as I could.

Knew it would happen.
Surprised it didn't happen sooner.

When up votes become,
Life,
The Universe,
And Everything.

my standing desk.

a U.S. company that places an order for 100,000 integrated circuits with a Japanese manufacturer. Part of the specification was the defect rate: one chip in 10,000. A few weeks later the order arrived: one large box containing thousands of ICs, and a small one containing just ten. Attached to the small box was a label that read: "These are the faulty ones."

It just hit me why they called their software "nero"... cause he burned Rom(e).... Am I dumb or something? I'm using it for 5 years now

Coffee and wine are my life coaches.

Start of day
☕coffee: GO GET THEM TIGER!

End of day
🍷Wine: you'll get them tomorrow.

All those fucking non-programmers in my university should fuck off!! Just because am studying computer science and am in 2nd year doesn't mean i have to be like Mark and build Fucking facebook!!
Mark started in his 2nd year...bla bla fuck you!! You wanna make facebook go learn how to code yourself worthless piece of shit.
So much talent is discouraged even before it buds because of these stupid expectations!!

I am not saying I trust 'the cloud' 100%, but having the freedom to wipe your phone, laptop, or pc at a moments notice without a second thought or worry is an incredible feeling.

When you have to spend two days inventing math formulas for work because google won't tell you how to sort every possible combination of an array of arrays into a zero based number list, or how to get a combination from just it's index.

So this mornings i was helping my 2.5year old daughter to count the lines on her potty training table.
me: look there are 1,2,3,4 and 5
she steps back and looks at it for a minute and says : FOUR
i was about to correct her and say no there 5 but then i thought well if your on a zero based list your technically right!!

My mornings are fun!!

Working with clients Across the globe.

12 pm their time.
This page is down, can you get it back up.

3am my time
Ok. You're just lucky I don't sleep.

When I was like 8 years old or so, I had Nero installed on my older sister’s PC. Nero is a software for burning CDs.

Nero had a button called “Create CD” and 8yo me thought “what if I create CDs and sell them” 😂 I thought a fucking disc will materialize inside the drive 😂 big brain time

Interestingly enough I’d already built one PC from scratch at that age, but optical drives that can write discs were so rare to me that I didn’t even understand them. And physics. And common sense.

Boss: I don't want you spending more than 30 min looking into the problem.

Me: ok

Go back to desk and read or watch some cs training. Maybe related.

Go back to boss.

Me: going to take (over estimate tome) to fix.

Boss: ok.

Go back to desk and fix in less time than estimated.

Look like gold.

accedently used chmod on chmod so i no longer had permissions to chmod.

thank goodness for remote server images.

Big project this week. Lots of fires to put out. Deadlines approaching.

Monday: I can get by on just four hours sleep. No problem. Will be just like college.

Wednesday: I'm going to just close my eyes while this file uploads. Maybe I will backup the server while I'm at it; Just take a nap while that processes.

Friday: Sorry if my office smells like vomit. It's because I am so tired I vomited.

Sunday: I'm not getting out of this bed tomorrow. Let them fire me. I think I will just will myself into a coma. That will be nice.

Been off work for the last 2 weeks, got a text yesterday and apparently everything was manic. Kind of nice to know everything falls apart when I'm not there ;)

Friday: Finally the week end. I haven't seen my family all week.

Sunday: Hurry up Monday! Get me away from these people. I need to program.

Good news everyone!

unset ($marriage);
If (isset ($marriage))
self::sadness ();
else
Self::joy ();

Sudo chown / indead of ./ aaaand there goes my day.

I have noticed on here, there is a direct correlation between the number of swear words in a post and that posts ++ count. As a programmer who doesn't swear (I know, "just give it a few years" or "YOUR NOT A REAL PROGRAMMER!!" [side note, I also don't drink coffee]), I guess my ++ counter will only ever be allocated 1 byte...

Internet stopped working yesterday and the ISP company told me they couldn't send a person for a week!

I'm stuck at home, I have to have internet.

Long story short, I got no sleep last night and I may have voided my routers warranty, but I got internet.

working on back end code makes me feel like the Wizard of Oz.

"Don't look behind that curtain! "

It's truly amazing how much a single line of perl can do. Such a time saver.

I only wish that I could understand what it does two days later.

me: do we need to setup the shop to charge a flat shipping rate, or charge per item?

🕛3 hours later.

client: yes, that is correct.

me: 😧

!rant
Today just shipped my first fullstack application...the feeling is awesome! Even if no one uses its mine!!!

Feeling to sad to work
Drink entire pot of coffee
THERE WE GO! BACK TO WORK!

When life prevents you from working on your personal projects. 😩🙀

know that person who brags about using linux, but uses wine for all his applications.

i love programming, but have done too many 12 hour days recently.

spent last two days recharging by doing nothing but play the new Doom game.

i have a great job so my boss supports me.

Widows server.

Go to Denver with a friend for an Iron Maiden concert. I try edibles for the first time, which of course means take way too much. Hallucinate that lead singer is an arm flailing inflatable tube Man. I have a pretty good time. Walk back to the motel at midnight and have to launch a client's website from stage to production on the slow Motel Wi-Fi. I'm ready to pass out at this point, but I got my laptop, and I got my VPN running. So I spend the next 6 hours moving the site from one server to another while occasionally passing out for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.

One of the best road trips of my life. Five stars would do again.

It's not a bug if a feature is working how you told me it should work but not how you wanted it to work.

Why does Windows use back slash and everything else uses forward slash?

team lead: what is the minimum lenght validation on the first name field?
dev: i decided to put minlenhgt 3
team lead: why? did you tests it
Dev: i tested it. 3 makes sense to me
Team lead: isint your first name 2 letters long?
Dev: oh i dodth think about that

Christmas on a Sunday!
Well, then what is the point?!

Being that none of my family or friends code, it is nice to be here with others who are nerdy. What a great place

F*** this! I'll build my own sdk.

all that for {price}?
that's quite a deal.

After working for this company for only a couple years, I was tasked with designing and implementing the entire system for credit card encryption and storage and token management. I got it done, got it working, spent all day Sunday updating our system and updating the encryption on our existing data, then released it.

It wasn't long into Monday before we started getting calls from our clients not being able to void or credit payments once they had processed. Looking through the logs, I found the problem was tokens were getting crossed between companies, resulting in the wrong companies getting the wrong tokens. I was terrified. Fortunately I had including safe guards tying each token to a specific company, so they were not able to process the wrong cards. We fixed it that night.

My super power?

"git revert" for real life

Just picked up some freelance work because someone recognized my dev rant shirt.

Devrant has become a cabal.

Can't tell if that is our burn-down chart or the PM got drunk and played with an etch-a-sketch

How do you turn the volume up on these giffs?

...😩

Dev rant logo has face sideways.

But I keep seeing people place their stickers so the face is upright.

Doesn't really matter, but my OCD is killing me.

Updating code for big client.

Find that they are not encrypting passwords in the database and are not sanitizing user input from forms.

Do not trust the user!

I know a developer who works for a Mortgage Company, and he is dangerously incompetent. He used to work for my boss before I did and we both told his new boss how unqualified he is, but because he's able to get things "done" they think he does a good job. But I've been in the code and their entire system could any day just completely Fall Apart and they could be in a lot of trouble and we tell them this and they don't listen to us.

after google-ing a computer fix i sometimes re-google the answer to make sure it's legitimate.

An example of why you can't just use templates for everything.

Started using windows mixed reality for part of my work day, best part, using Cortana voice activation to do things in my virtual space, worst part, every time i say 'hey Cortana,' my google home makes a snide remark.

Fucking google

😸:oh hi, i came in early to checkout this game, but i was just about to get off and start work.
😎:I'm not your boss. I don't caire what you do.
👺:I am your boss, and as long as you get the work done, on time, and done well, I don't care if it looks lie you are doing nothing but being paid to play games. If anyone does bother you about playing games at work let me and I will let them know to leave you alone.

@dfox @trogus
I got me some balls.

GAWD DAMB IT!

Doom-sembly!
...doom.

My apprentice is driving me nuts with his failed attempts on gold-plating.
The task "Get the data and export it to a file" becomes ""After many attempts to get the data via a different query than we worked out together I now finally got it and it makes sense if it was displayed but only one set of data at a time and it should also be selected what data should be exported and I have no idea how to do that so Cero, can you help me?".
Dang it dude, just show me for once that you can do 1 clearly decribed task, where you have many examples to work with, and NOT try to add any extras!

I am now working on how to tell him this in a nicer way...

Working with css. Credits to thecodinglove.

Need to save money, but saw new devrant hoodie.

$money--;

Worked from home,
Ate lunch at home,
Stayed in for dinner.

I did not see the sky at all yesterday. 😫

Found our server had been exploited, good bye evening :(

Taking a break to look at holiday game sales when boss walks in.

After two days i just had to create an account. so glad a collegue of mine showed me devRant. Well, time to continue my beginner Python course.
yay

I am an insecure person. Coding gave me a much needed boost in confidence in my skills.

@dfox
Only 2 rants an hour.
Ok
How about the ability to save and manually post later feature?

I had an idea for a rant. It was gold i tells ya... if only I could remember what it was. 😥

who has used a screw driver to connect the prongs to turn on a computer without a case/power button?

i have been fortunate enough to always work with awesome people.

both jobs I have had after college had almost no supervision, and I could come and go as I pleased.

I am a professional, and I loved being treated as one. I don't take advantage of my work, and they don't take advantage of me.

Would you rather program one handed because...

A). Broken arm.

B). Holding screaming baby that slaps keyboard occasionally.

Thirty hours over two weeks, but we finally patched a angular app that was originally built on 2 (alpha) to 4, reducing the load time ten fold.

Don't thank me, thank super duck. The duck with the power to debug any code.

Gawd I'm tired.

Best of both Worlds: Android on Phone, OS X for working. In my opinion everyone should use what he/she likes best. So no offense to anyone :) btw: I know that the Android Sticker doesn't look 100% like the original one.. it's all about the message behind it :)

I don't want to ctrl+z my family.
But is there a way to git stash the lot till I get this project done?

You know your a dev when quality time with the kids is sitting them on your lap and letting them watch Netflix on one monitor while you program on the other.

Compiled a small style change in LESS file. Whole page is broken. Realized holiday replacement made all changes in main CSS file which is generated through LESS compiling.

When you're naming variables, it is not acceptable for them to be one character, especially when that character bares no relevance to the information it stores.

'f' is not a good variable name for an array of strings now, is it...

Time for some clear readable code.

int a = l;
   if ( O == l )
     a = O1;
   else
     l = 01;

Nailed it.

@dfox @trogus
Wait?
Does the devrant face thing have a name?
I have been calling my stress ball Devin when I use it to rubber duck debug.

Devin, developer, devrant...
I know, home run.😅

If your only contribution to a stack overflow question is 'me too' then don't bother.

Any job interview were I have included the three years of Adobe Flash development on my resume.

The first time you try to google what an operator does by using the symbol in the search bar because you don't know the name for it.

My computer is so out of date at this point, I measure compile time by the amount of times I can spin around on my chair, I'm at 48, if I get to 50 I think something magic might happen.

Got the cheapest laptop I could find that would run Windows mixed reality.

Installed Linux subsystem for Windows and Ubuntu.

Nothing but giant flying terminal windows across my view of a virtual Seascape.

This is my new home.

Spent half day trying to figure out why internet stopped working in he office.

Somehow, the tangle of wires behind computer created some kind of Faraday cage that was blocking / interfering with the signal.

Just the most insane IT problem ever.

Reviewing code for applications after not working on it for six months.

Client: so what is the first step to adding our new feature.

Me: I really think we need to redo the entire architecture from the ground up. It won't work any differently than it does now, but the code will be cleaner.

Client:😓

Me:😅

When you learn something interesting and you have no computer people to share it with.

Just went from full time employee at my work to contract under my own LLC on a retainer at my old salary. I'm my own man and it feels great. All the tax breaks shall be mine.

funny coincidence happened at work the other day.
One dev ask to get more ram for his pc so we sent him a link to download more ram... after all the laughs we actually gave hom more ram.
The next day, we had performance issue on our dev servers, and after checking the VM's where missing 4gb of ram each from the original setup... so i poke my dev and say see now we know where the downloaded ram came from XD. man those small things really make my day

Spending hours trying to solve a problem just to find that the answer was not just simple, but well known. You just didn't know the technical term to search for.

Coding to the flow of the music. Best sign for a good productive day.

squashed a spider this evening just to have it erupt with hundreds of tiny baby spiders.

what a terrifying real world visualization of my week.

worst coding mistake... anything I've done in WordPress

Searching a bug in my script.

😺when is a 3 not a 3
🤔
😸when it is a string
😥
😹

Fixing a critical bug right before deployment.

To the front end dev that 'finished' his part of a web form with a Hundred pluss fields. You left every id, name, and label-for as 'first-name'.

I know it saves you time to copy paste and only change what's visible on the page, but FUUUUUUCK YOU!

Looks like I'm @dfox evil twin.

class nerd-san extends dfox {
constructor() {
evil = true;
sunglasses = true;
}
}

devRant stickers still in envelope.
getting new laptop in February... the wait is unbearable.

The clients website was so slow,

How slow was it?!

This site was so slow the goodle speed test timed out.

disadvantage of using noise canceling headphones.

boss comes in from other room. more amused than annoyed
👺:Is there a reason you are letting out a loud burp and a fart every couple minutes that i can hear through the walls?
🙊:Oh!? now I understand why my deaf friends are so oblivious to why the rest of us start laughing for 'no reason' when we go out to dinner with them.

who dreams about programming?
I do.

Life as a software developer is a bit similar to a nurse... they often both patch bleeding holes as a service ;-)

Standup 50 minutes long and still going strong. Already planned and designed a layout for a new project. Now onto useless babbling and small talk.

Just in case you still don't get recursion after endless pooh images

2nd year programming professionally I designed, coded, and released a PCI compliant credit card encryption system, including updating all 7 million records (at the time) in our existing database to utilize the new system. By some miracle, it worked with only one small hiccup (see previous rant).

What?
I don't get it?
That doesn't make any scene....
goto line 5980
😎 coding like a boss....
goto line 8764
🤡 I have no idea what I'm doing....

my farther, it took me three hours to teach him how to use a mouse, and complains about not being able to find the free WiFi (he expects it to be something physical he can walk up to and take).
but whe he finds out the Internet has porn he (by himself without instructions) hacks the senior community center's router to bypass the porn filter.

You have 10 notices that your rant had gotten a ++, but the total score has only gone up by one.
😒

One more time.

ppi != resolution != size ! = aspect ratio

ppi is a measurement of sharpness.

Resolution is the depth of pixels.

Size is width and height mesured in units.

Aspect ratio is the... ratio of width to height.

The down side to telecommuting.

Sick enough to stay home, but not sick enough to miss work.

Not sure if it's my first encounter, but definitely the most memorable, when I was young we had a windows xp pc (quite new at the time) and we had a program called Nero burn (used to burn images to cd's)

The pictogram of neo burn was a pc on fire, and so I thought for the duration of my xp time that that program would blow up the pc if I ever started it...

i understand and accept why some people prefer mac.

every mac i have ever used has shit the bed during normal use. while windows and Linux machines have too, however less frequently. unlike mac there is always something i can personally do about it to fix the problem.

i like having complete control over my computer and don't like the idea of paying a premium to be told how i can or can't use it.

Does devrant have a public api? Tempted to write an atom plugin so I can pretend to work, but actually rant.

I learned basic, Visual Basic and java in high school, then one year of college studying c++. I really hate c++ and swore I would never become a programmer. After that one year of college, I spent two years out of the country with no computer usage at all. Then 4 years working at a grocery store.
Then my friend told me about an opening at his work place for a java programmer. This was 7 years since doing java and 6 years since I had programmed anything at all. But I applied and interviewed. When asked about databases, I said “I know a little Microsoft Access.” Had no idea what relational databases were, never heard of php, but by some miracle they hired me anyways. Still working for them 6 years later, now an experienced java, php, MySQL, front end developer.
Still have no idea why they saw fit to hire me.

When facebook and youtube adds are nothing but clients you built websites for.😒
Someone needs to update their algorithm to more than just 'how many times you visited a website before.'

when you realize that performance issue you just could not figure out is the SYS admin taking a full back of your production machine during peek traffic hours

Manny a developer has been foiled by a single random misplace punctuation mark hiding in a million lines of code.

Client sends screenshots, compressed, and shrunk down to an unreadable size, inside a docx file.

Just... just no. Where is a spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper when you need one.

(For you three people who are going to comment 'why don't you just teach them...' ssssssssssshut up, some people are just unteachable ( for you other three who are going to say 'everyone is teachable.' Not true, if it was you wouldn't be saying such things.))

so a client yesterday decides they need a site built by eop Friday, that has been quoted today. if approved first thing tomorrow gives about 1.5 days to get it done. Thanks boss

if (time () < 5pm)
drinkCoffee ();
else
drinkBeer ();

I don't care about your good ideas.
If you don't code, don't art, have nothing to contribute to the work, and aren't going to pay me for my time, then there is no collaboration.

Spent two hours having two recruiters give me test, interviewing, and being told HOW perfect I am for the job I was applying for; Just to be told they are only allowed to send over people they have found previous work for, but I should instead apply to these othwr positions that pay half what I'm looking for.

devRant Stickers arrived. One of them already found place on my MacBook :) Not sure where to put the others yet. Thanks @dfox

In addition to my first Homeoffice photo, another part of my office: the Geek corner. The Android plate can glow in 6 different colors. It's a selfmade present from a friend of mine. :)

marquetting department: i need a new for on the website its urgent drop everithing else
dev: sure can you give me the text and the fields that should be on the form?
....1 week later
dev: do you havr the info
marketing: can you have ot online today
dev: yes just get me that content
1week later
.... you know where im going with this

when a dev fixes a memory leek issue but rebooting the server, and when ask why the production application crashes he casualty replies "I don't know but I restarted the server and its fine now..."

The school I went to, and this was really the only benefit of the school, gave all it students lifetime memberships to digital tutors, which was bought out by pluralsight, which then bought code School. So I basically got free membership to three different sites, all of which have a good amount of technical training with videos, guides, and work along lessons on them.

For what school cost to me, it will have paid for itself as long as I live for another Thousand Years.

Love Squirrel Girl, the super hero with the powers of a squirrel, and a degree in computer science.

-8pm till 12am
-Music gaming mix
-A working pc
-People to rubber duck with
-A fun project

First time today trying a sensory deprivation chamber.

All I could think was
"error no input signal"

one rant a day makes dec rant a cool place to stay!!

thanks for the stickers guys

Getting a new laptop is exhausting if you haven't been keeping up with the technology. I have purchased three laptops in the last two weeks returning the first two after spending 10 + hours each installing updates and software just to find out they didn't work for what I needed.

To explore and collect knowledge, power and wisdom while wandering through the infinite abyss of space....

VR is great. Been getting together weekly with my dungeon and dragon friends from highschool but instead of meeting in person we get together in vr.

Feels just like getting together in person but is more convenient since we each connect from our own homes.

don't even talk to me till I've had my 100.oz of cold brewed tea.

@localhost My Homeoffice. Nothing really special going on here but I like it simple. :)

ha!
from 'clean code' by Robert C. Martin

I see... the home gaming market wasn't very prominent when this was written.

"There is a reason that we keep our variables private. We don’t want anyone else to depend on them. We want to keep the freedom to change their type or implementation on a whim or an impulse. Why, then, do so many programmers automatically add getters and setters to their objects, exposing their private variables as if they were public?"
-Uncle Bob, Clean Code.

I was working on computer project with a friend. He saw my devRant stressball was sideways so he turned it upright. I saw it was upright so I turned it sideways. We both have aspergers so we keep doing this for two hours before either one of us says anything about the OCD battle we were having.

You would think acknowledging the situation would allow us to laugh it off and get on with our work....

Half an hour later Devy McRant Face has to go in a drawer so we can move on.

I read alot of rants where people describe that they had to implement things they know were wrong and later the boss complained about it although its what he said.

My requirements engineering professor always told us to document everything. Every change made to the requirements must have the source and the reason written down. Idealy with some sort of signature from the boss.

But i understand its not always that easy or done. Which is kinda sad.

I hate Mondays. I hate Mondays even more if everything went wrong. F**k this day. Tomorrow is a new one.

I have a lot of fun during crunch time.

It's like running a marathon. It is both physically and mentally taxing, and I get a rush out of seeing how hard I can push myself.

But like a marathon, it suuuuucks if you are not prepared, or you otherwise didn't want to do that.

You hear that bosses?
Crunch is like running a marathon. That thing that people, who prepare for years to do, still causes them to piss and shit themselves while their nipples bleed. And that's when they are fully prepared. That is what you are asking your team to do without any notice ahead of time.

"Ok Derrick, I know you wanted to visit your family in the country this weekend. But we need you to run uphill, fuled only by diet dr pepper and fear of loosing your job, untill you pass out and need an I.V. to keep you from stroking out. '

Otherwise a lot of fun.

reaction to change from +1 and -1 to ++ and --

Hello and welcome come to hell for developers. Take a seat at any open computer.
You may have noticed we did away with the fire and brimstone.
Instead we just have you maintain the legacy code from your first job.
It's genrally html, php, javascript, and css all on the same page and all mixed together.
We would say have fun, but that's not really the point.

Food for thought.

I am here late on a freaking Friday night before a holiday weekend doing some stupid conversion for a company. They have to have it done before Monday ( the holiday) as they plan to go live then.

Did I mention that they asked for this 2 days ago? I had to write the entire system to upload their batch of accounts into our system and return to them the corresponding new accounts. In 2 STUPID DAYS! Not to mention nobody was here to code review it today, so I had to run over it with one of the it guys before merging it myself.

Good thing I didn’t have a conference tonight that I paid money to go to. Oh wait, I do. Luckily it only started 2 hours ago so I might just make the final keynote, if I am lucky.

I need to stop adding, weep uncontrollably, between tasks in my work to do list before my coworkers start thinking I'm serious.

Technically I am serious - you would be too if you had to manage the servers I inherited - but I don't want to ruin the all powerful Wizard of Oz vibe I got going.

talking about people with computer preferences i don't understand.

i sometimes forget i use a mechanical roller ball mouse for work and play.

which one? just google it, these are so out of fashion there are only three different models currently for sale anywhere that i can find.