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Boss: "I looked at a testing suite. It is $2,500 a license and I'm buying 60 licenses. You should probably get familiar with it."
LeadDev: "Um, we already use NUnit, and it's free."
Boss: "Hmm...I'd better add Pluralsight training in the budget so you can learn about the new program."
LeadDev: "Oh, no...we need new laptops more than we need software."
Boss:"New laptops? Not my budget. When we buy this new software, everyone is going to use it"
LeadDev: "Everyone? How will you monitor it's usage?"
Boss: "I'll have networking send me captures of all the running tasks on the dev machines. The test suite better be running. Writing good tests will be our #1 priority."
LeadDev: "Um, we already write tests using NUnit."
Boss: "I don't understand what you are saying. I need something I can visualize. This UI testing suite is exactly what I need."
LeadDev: "Maybe the testing suite would be better suited for you and QA?"
<click..click>
Boss: "Submitted the budget. There will be a test server available for you to configure. This whole project costs over $100,000, so don't screw it up. Any questions?"
LeadDev: "Oh...well...what server ..."
Boss: "Dang...sorry, I'm taking off the rest of the afternoon. We'll talk about this more on Monday. Get started on those Pluralsight videos. I'll expect a full training and deployments by next week. Have a great weekend!"13 -
When you look back on your github activity and just think "Wow, we have really created something special. This is really going to help the world." It just... It gets me. That's why I do this day in and day out.
14 -
Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?
Coworker: what!? No!
Me: yeah... I'm leaving.
Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...
Me: what is that supposed to mean!?
Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.
Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬
Co: God damnit.
Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.4 -
There is this salesman right across from me that always brags about how rich his parents are and how lucky us tech guys are for having such an easy job. He told me one day that he was going to quit and make his own software company currently having no developing experience at all because "I've seen some of these developers. If those guys can do it, it'll be a breeze." I convinced him that the best language to learn in order to make your own websites/apps is Linux command line. Hilariously enough, the other 2 devs heard me say that and when Glenn the sales douche followed up with them one of them told him "Yeah, If you think you're really going to be quick with it then Linux will be your best bet, but if you have trouble just learn C++ instead and you'll still be able to make websites." Best of luck on your new Venture, you spoiled jizz stain.8
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The 1st of July, it'll be a year ago since my father passed away.
I made him a promise as he explicitly told me; "Please grow our company, I wouldn't have put you in the CTO position if you sucked at what you do" - so I said I would keep pushing the boundaries.
As per now we've officially broken our set target. Our revenue thus far in 6 months of time has reached to last years total revenue. I take great comfort in knowing that he would have been god dang proud.
July the 1st will be a day with both a smile and a tear. Had to get this off my chest!8 -
It's the biggest satisfaction to know that Wix means wank in German!
"why not do it yourself" just adds to it.6 -
Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.2 -
Alias coworker = high school classmate
This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.
1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.
So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.6 -
There should be a name for rants about fake stories. Like the ones you read and can smell some bs going on. I suggest frants.3
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Every job description out there:
" JUNIOR XY position.
Requirements: 50 years experience of Assembly, Java and Masonry, HTML, cloud based computing and artificial intelligence. Must be able to write algorithms like Hummingbird. Fluent in English, Mandarin and Latin. Must have five doctor and two Bachelor degrees. Experience in leading a Fortune 500 company benefitial.
Renumeration: 5 rice grains"6 -
All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.
2 -
Co-worker: "We would appreciate it if your future commits weren't so ignorant and bigoted"
Me: "Excuse me?"
Co-worker: "You made the gender variable a boolean"
I... But... Okay...13 -
Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.4
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Guy I just met: so what do you do?
Me: I'm a developer
Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)
Me: so what do you do there?
Guy: sales
Me: oh...
Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.9 -
Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug
What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.2 -
When I was in college in 1996, one of my roommates had a “Web 101” class. At that same time, the office of a government agency I was working for had asked me to publish a website to let the public know what they were doing. Prior to that I had bought an HTML 1.0 reference and had been fiddling around with some things. I got excited about it all when I realized that just within 2 weeks of using the book I had passed up the entire class my roommate was taking and apparently knew more at that point than the professor. I published the agency site, then went on to build sites for the Uni and freelance clients, and then to apply to teach a more advanced class in the Continuing Education courses the Uni offered to adults in the community. All of that got me a job at a startup which led to the rest of my career. That was pretty dang exciting to me.1
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DevRant makes me really proud how well developers can act together as a group. Makes me think what we could accomplish if we would take all the world's developers and programmers to one place and make our own country. Our currency will be devCoin. World domination follows shortly afterwards11
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How my lecturer drilled JS syntax into us:
Write this:
var x = document.element;
x.value = 10;
Instead of this:
document.element.value = 10;
His reasoning:
"You make the cake in the kitchen, you don't put icing on it on your way to present the cake"4 -
That moment when you're finally getting your user registration and login system up and running!
As a web dev student I feel like I have accomplished something :)10 -
If I wouldn't have studied computer science my second choice might have been astronomy. Dang, space is so fascinating. Love watching documentaries about it when I go to bed :o11
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I saw a quote maybe 2 weeks after I signed up in this Heaven, I can't (read "I'm too lazy to") find the quote but some guy was lowkey panicking about the fact that all his friends were "currently building X, almost finishing to dev Y", while all he ever did was a small project like "yeeey, I can do something with my 10 fingers"
This rant was interesting, but the top comment kind of marked me, if I remember well, it said something like "All I read is 'doing' and 'almost finished', while you 'did'. I would trust you over these guys".
From this day, while I worked on two side projects, there was always a moment where I thought about this sentence.
Today, I finished one of my side projects. I DID it.
Dang it I feel complete.3 -
Had my pure PHP web app rejected on a market platform because I didn't use a framework..
BITCH IT WORKS PERFECTLY WITHOUT A FUCKING FRAMEWORK, IF YOU WOULD HAVE TESTED IT YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT!22 -
Started part time job at a company, had to log my time on timesheets. Said fuck this and now the whole company logs their hours on a custom web based time logging system which I built.5
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Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.5
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The joy that happens when the QA intern knows how to program and tells you which lines in the source to check out2
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Can ppl stop bitching out about their ides not running smoothly with 8gb+ ram? I mean 8gb ram wise is enough, unless you have 20+ browser tabs open, watching some casual porn, downloading some more porn in the background and maybe running some benchmarks just for the sake of not letting your dollars go to waste...15
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I dont know why. Maybe the appearance and performance.
Still i think i am better than most of them.
I am sure that i have a place in this industry.
Dang It
6 -
Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.3 -
My apprentice is driving me nuts with his failed attempts on gold-plating.
The task "Get the data and export it to a file" becomes ""After many attempts to get the data via a different query than we worked out together I now finally got it and it makes sense if it was displayed but only one set of data at a time and it should also be selected what data should be exported and I have no idea how to do that so Cero, can you help me?".
Dang it dude, just show me for once that you can do 1 clearly decribed task, where you have many examples to work with, and NOT try to add any extras!
I am now working on how to tell him this in a nicer way...2 -
!rant
Two years ago, I started to learn Ruby on Rails so I would at last know a server language even though it wasn't the almighty PHP. Two years ago minus a few months, I decided to put my first website online with Apache and Passenger. It took me a whole six hours with stress and cries for help until I finally saw my website's homepage displayed on my screen
Today, after a few more websites (and currently 3 more projects but still not released, dang it), I tried to update mySQL to 5.7 since I need it to be able to save arrays for a future project, but everything went full shitstorm with broken packages and lame-ass-shit tutorials that make you doubt your sanity.
So I decided to backup my database and my online websites and to reinstall the whole server and take advantage of it to update the current used gems (Rails 4.2 -> 5.1, not bad)
Not only it took me just a bit more than 2 hours to redeploy the websites, but I didn't felt at the edge of panicking once, and now everything works like a charm.
I feel fucking alpha now.2 -
Within 20 minutes of posting a question on stack overflow it was down voted - with no explanation. Fucking hate that site4
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Just finished my third year of my comp sci degree when a friend found me a position at a very small startup. I was asked to build a web crawler to take job postings off kijiji and craigslist and place them in our database for our clients to find. It didn't take long to build (even with limited experience). It was pretty shady. I didn't think i'd have to deal with the ethics of a task so soon in my new dev-life! Luckily it never made it to the live site. After that they got me to work on their android app (not so shady)
4 years later i still work for that company building apps. It's still a small team, and i love 'em 🤙1 -
Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods4
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I never ever give out my cell # to ppl at work. If they need to speak with me, I provide them my work # only.
Two weeks ago, went to a customer site. For ONE minute, I had an email on the screen that had my personal cell #.
Last Tuesday - out walking dog: call from customer to personal cell.
Last Thursday - getting ready for work, brushing teeth: call from customer to personal cell.
Last Friday - grabbing lunch: call from customer to personal cell.
Yesterday - in a meeting: call from customer to personal cell.
I'm gonna cry 😢3 -
Secretly installed Automate app on my friend's Android phone to mess with him. (For those who don't know, with Automate you can automate anything on an Android device).
Made a 'flow' that would read his incoming sms's, and send an email to me with his exact location if I sent him an SMS saying 'where are you?'.
Was funny to mess with him and tell him his exact location even though we were miles apart.
Cleared it up for him a while later but it made me feel like #hackerman8 -
Last night I had a panic attack and woke up in cold sweats because in the dream I had I was constantly using the wrong variables in the wrong places...
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Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.1
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about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞
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watched first two episodes of mr. robot and it seems pretty good so far. does it go like other hacker shows/movies or does it stay good?10
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Me: This is a good article about a CSS problem I always have and can never remember how to fix. Imma bookmark that.
Me, the next time I have that problem: Dang. Why doesn't this work. Better Google it.3 -
Had an issue running through someone else's buggy code and my PM told me to "use a goto to fix it up, those always used to help me in school". Can a recruiter on here throw me a bone and get me out of this place?
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Me at BestBuy today: Oh man, you got the got the Pixel 2 XL? This is looks good and feels good in hand. Last time I stopped by, the other guy had just the Pixel 2. Blah blah blah.. so is this running the 8.1 or 8.0?
Verizon associate at BestBuy: The 8.1
Me: oohh, you got that preview huh? *goes into system to check.. dude it's running 8.0
Verizon associate: oh really? Dang, I forgot. I'll side-load the APK.
Me: 😕😒😂 I hear you.
*At that point I lost hope in humanity*3 -
Bug fixed! Commit, close ticket.
Ticket reopens. Dang.. let me test it. Still fixed, wtf? Send message to QA guy that opened it again.
"Read my comment." Comment has some entirely different yet slightly related bug.
Leap out window.1 -
When you hack up some spaghetti code which works right off the bat and you don't even know why but you take it for granted anyways. Week later someone tells you that it's not working anymore and you have to find out why.3
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swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?1 -
Dang, dR Meetup 5/6 was a super fantastic game night! 😄
Mostly, we played Codenames, in which the host brought custom dictionary of programming terms.
⭐🗓 Join us for more events: https://devrant.com/collabs/3221539
Press the 🔔s and you won't miss any!
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dang. who thought faceid was a good idea?
Who the heck likes to see their face every time they use their phone o.o
Give me my fingerprint scanner back!13 -
Story time:
I worked at a firm that had an infernal off the shelf CRM system that they collaborated with the dev company to customise.
They were seriously behind the competition, and didn’t have any app or web presence for interacting with their system, instead relying on people calling (fine for the nature of the business, but competition was leaving them in the dust).
They decided that they needed to redevelop it in-house, with a focus on supporting the web and apps.
I was hired for this purpose.
It was me and one other dev, who was also the head of IT.
He’d built a small prototype, and was new to the whole WPF / MVVM thing for the in-house app, so with my previous experience it was clear it needed to serve as an example only, and that it would need redeveloping.
I was only there three months.
In that time I singularly (he was pulled away to troubleshoot their VOIP installation - yes, for three months as other companies kept dropping the ball) built:
- A WebAPI with JWT auth
- An MVC skeleton frontend
- A WPF desktop app
It had all sorts of cool shit in it, 2FA, Reactive UI, Reactive extensions, server push to desktop, a custom workflow and permissions system.
It was pretty dang cool.
End of the three months rolled around, and the non-technical managers were concerned about time to market, so they decided to drop me as I’d “not made enough progress”.
I’d also had a bit of absence which they were aware of and were supposedly supporting me through.
But MFW three months is assumed to be enough time to build such a system with one dev.2 -
Analog mail still works!
Stickers finally arrived! Thanks @dfox and @trogus for this amazing community !
1 -
Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.3
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had an interview at a place that went good at the technical part but I didn't do great at their 'abstract' questions. the guys interviewing were complete stone faced as well, no personality, pretty sure I wouldn't have liked working there anyways. a few years later and they are still looking for people. the recruiter rings up and I said I wouldn't want to re-interview unless the process had changed. he guaranteed me it had. so I went back in and it was exactly the same. exactly the same technical questions, followed by more abstract questions. different guys but same no-personalities. never going back
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My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!3
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Dang it all to hestia. I was feeling lower and lower then I realized I wasn't exercising like at all. So I got to my walks again at work and went to gym after work. I feel like a million bucks!2
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Devrant freezes when switching to different app then back again. A bit random though, has happened a couple of times but can't reproduce it.3
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The sorting button on devRant's feed page is just Gilfoyle's tattoo twice, once upside down like Dinesh says.
3 -
Dang. I feel like I'm just not cut out to climb any ladder.
When we discovered a production bug. I feel bad about making people working on that part look bad by not catching it.
My manager has no issue with pointing out that I should have caught it. Beating a horse while it's down.
I mean no shit. Of course I know I should've caught it. How does making me feel worse about it help.
Feels like I'll always be in a tough spot no matter where I am on the ladder.
Or I'm just fragile. I acknowledge that, too9 -
At what point do you leave?
I totally get Amazon's principle of 'disagree and commit' but how many disagreements with your COO, CEO, does it take to make you say:
Fuck this, I'm out of here6 -
Started coding HTML, CSS and JavaScript as part of my multimedia design studies. Lecturer would throw up a simple 960 page on the projector, said "make this" and left the room. Being thrown in the deep end is definitely a way to learn that taught me a lot
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jenkins tests passing but travis failing. now travis passing but jenkins failing, aargh!
more beer needed... -
wish can do coding in fix hours :(
Learning react .. just took one cup of tea in morning.. and dang its 8pm :( No idea about the time.. react giving me hard time. maybe am newbie ..
Hope so I learn this Single Page application4 -
Dang. postman is forcing me to make an account.
Is this the age where we have to make everything ourselves if we don't want to store our information on the internet?11 -
Believe it or not, I actually had a great day of development today and don't feel the need to rant about anything!
It was one of those rare days when everything went well, and instead of running into road blocks, you actually learn about things that open new doorways, and the one thing I did struggle with received an answer on Stack Overflow within minutes that was both exactly what I was hoping for and as a bonus, not even condescending.
Dang, dev doesn't get much better than this! ☺️ -
Dang it ahhhhh. I have nothing to rant about because I work from home alone and it's so boring I never talk to anyone
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I may not be the guy who 'sudo rm -rf /' for a company but I dang near came close and had a heart attack...
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in the hospital with surgery and our deployment goes wrong, so glad I work with really good people!3
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i hate you, you and you AHHHHHH
This doesnt have to make sense.
This is a freakin rant for god's sake, not a pull request. I'm not tryna be the best ranter?? Dont mind this rant. Just scroll. B if u can only hear my scream right now from the other side of the world, it sure can cause another big bang.
F u, this sht, (oh ya it's profanity, i got no better term for what im feelin, gahh please rip my head off) and that too, and this one too, all of u
I HATE ALL OF YOU. I BLAME ALL OF YOU FOR ALL MY INCONSISTENCIES. YE, IM TIRED OF TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY. F THAT SHT COZ IT JUST RAISES EXPECTATIONS. I CAN'T EVEN MEET THE DEADLINES I SET FOR MYSELF.
The hell are ambitions and all that "dream life" they tryna sell. Those won't even matter when I can barely get my sht together. UGH. I haven't even seen my friends, the SUN, trees and all normal people things. Dang, I want fried chicken. I haven't had one for a while. I guess I should end this rant here and order one.
I must just be hungry, no?3 -
when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to) -
Yesterday I told an intern that was supposed to be shadowing me that he'll need to download visual studios with apache Cordova plugin for multi platform app design. I gave this assignment to him first thing in the morning (around 9:30 am) and told him to head home for the day thinking I was giving the kid a break to download and make sure the build was proper and to play around with it maybe. I check my inbox this morning to find that, alongside numerous expletives, this intern has quit as of 3:40 AM last night. I... I didn't see that one coming.4
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"I'll go to bed on the hour."
1 minute past the hour:
"Dang, I'll need to wait until the next hour and get more code written." -
When commenting it would be nice to see the comment you are commenting against. Often they are long with several points and you can't refer back to it8
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Had my dev job described as a "computer, desk job" in a condescending tone yesterday by a guy trying to convince me to join his pyramid scheme....
// TODO: come up with awesome rant about this so I can look badass2 -
!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?
2 -
Why the fICKITY FUCK CANT UNITY DO WHAT ITS DING DANG JOB YO I'M JUST TRYING TO SIMULATE AUTONOMOUS AGENTS NOT AGENTS FROM HELL YOU FEEL ME
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I actually enjoy coding php in Brackets...
If anyone has got any other recommendation for anything else (free and open source!) feel free to tell me, but dang, that's how to spend an evening.11 -
My most recent side project is meant to be a lighthearted thing with a dynamic subdomain where anyone can type [whatever-subdomain-they-want].is.obviously.best or [whatever-subdomain-they-want].are.obviously.best or [whatever-subdomain-they-want].is.not.obviously.best or [whatever-subdomain-they-want].are.not.obviously.best.
I have a list of political terms and people that route to an HTML page that says “[subdomain] has been flagged as political. The creator of this site intended this domain to be used to spread joy and merriment and feels that pushing political agendas undermines that intent.”
I have sentiment analysis in combination with a disallow list on is/are (positive, rather than is.not and are.not) routes that if the subdomain is flagged as negative by sentiment analysis or matches a term in the disallow list, it serves an HTML page that says “[subdomain] is/are NOT obviously best. What the hell is your problem?”
Sentiment analysis only goes so far and it’s hard for it to catch a lot of things (since it’s a small amount of input) and I’m not confident that I’ll think of all of the possible things that really shouldn’t resolve to is/are OBVIOUSLY best.
Is there anything you guys can think of that should be on the disallow list?
If it helps, the disallow list so far is https://raw.githubusercontent.com/A...16 -
Just go access to GitHub Copilot! Woohoo!
But dang it's sometimes scary. It's like it can read your mind and knows what to write before you even know it.
The future looks spicy3 -
It's done. Agile has taken over my life. The other day I looked outside and thought, "As a user, I can stand on my lawn without my feet disappearing." And that's how I decided to mow my lawn.
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Oh my....I thought I was doing a very inteligent thing when I bought my Xiaomi Redmi 4 Prime. Comming from an iPhone 5S. This was a cheaper phone with twice the batery power!
I was feeling it you know? This is the thing!
One year later....dang it! They forgot about the phone?
Great specs. No updates by Xiaomi.
Not even a rant just...sad disapointment!
Late December they said.... Nothing...
Damn!11 -
Me: _sends an email_
Mailbox: "OVERQUOTA! Operation not executed"
Me: Ah dang, Inbox already full.
Me: _deletes mails_
Mailbox: "OVERQUOTA! Operation not executed"
Me: WTF? I'm already deleting messages!3 -
If you're always too busy doing the wrong things the wrong way, you will never have time time to do things right
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dang it. just because I signed in using google on an app. doesn't mean I want to be signed in to google everywhere. whatever happened to the privacy sandbox.
Why do I think older iOS version actually does what I want?2 -
I to myself:
"I do not really need to add type annotations here, it is just the small coding part of my thesis!"
(about 500 LOC)
Later...
"Hmm, lets just activate flow and get the typedefs of some packages from flowtyped..."
Found 5 Errors!
Dang! -
The customer told us that we have had a good momentum lately and that we need to keep it so that we can finish on time. What makes me frustrated is that what he perceives as "momentum" actually is increasing technical debt and overtime work...2
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Suggestions for UK conferences please, already going to devoxx, anything devvy would be good, or architecture or web related
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Today I learned if you ack a message twice, RabbitMQ shits the bed. Dang. Another day wasted on a dumb refactoring regression.2
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Anybody else get shouted at by partner when you put all heavy stuff at front of conveyer when shopping, or rearrange dishwasher so more things will fit, etc. I thought I was just being logical about these things...1
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dang. Messed up at work. Small action, big impact
Oddly enough. I thought I've outgrown this but still am being pretty stressed about it.
Weirdly, I think getting fired might put me more at ease than anything else.
Any theories?11 -
I found myself tonight imagining what a conversation between Cheech and Chong about serverless would be.
Maybe the basis for a new talk?
Suggestions please1 -
Lately with our client, everything has become very "urgent" and top priority. So much so that I’m asked to drop a top priority issue to tackle a new top priority issue, and then asked to drop that one too to take on another new “even more“ top priority task. In the end they’ll all have to be dealt with but dang I’m losing all sense of continuity, I’m losing my efficiency as my flow keeps on being broken by something new I have to jump to and in the end I’m kinda losing my sanity. Fuck this!1
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Got a call about production was going to fail. They thought it's the application server.
I'm the end it was bogus file mods which were scrambled by the backup tool.
Why we didn't find out earlier? Because the java application was coded like this:
-------
String content;
Try {
File bla = new File
content = ... Read operation
} catch (IoException | SecurityEx | RuntimeEx ex)
// nothing we can do here
}
doWork(content);
---------
Why the fuck do we have code reviews? Why not just log or throw a Runtime Exception? Argh... I thought it would be better in enterprise applications. Perhaps I should tell them to not just use pmd, also spotbugs and sonarqube. But the department for the build tools does not have enough employees. Dang.
Anyway. Earned some money for that.
Now it's 2018 and I still get money for the same kind of bugs as 2008.3 -
In an effort to learn any development I spent 3 days setting up a LAMP server. Now that I got working I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have a personal server or ideas on what to do with one?10
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I'm starting to look at how to get devices to send data to an endpoint for storage and analysis. I'm looking at AWS iot stuff like core and green grass but then I'm thinking that a REST API could also do the job. I don't need to connect devices to each other (in first iteration). Dont think I need any edge stuff either. Anybody have any experience with this?3
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Opinions please. When end user is not paying for service, who is my customer? For example public facing government project2
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The one thing I need, a "LATIN SMALL LETTER REVERSED C WITH DIAERESIS" doesn't seem to exist but "LATIN SMALL LETTER C WITH DIAERESIS" the one thing that I don't need, does D:
Like there's a god dang sideways u with an umlaut (or diaeresis I guess) but not a reversed c̈? pls9 -
Just force rebooted a NFC debit Card Reader because my sports Card was behind it haha, dang they boot fast
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When you're super OC and the design given to you is super inconsistent like really bruh?? and another thing is, client OKed it.
Dang. -
In client terms, a “3rd party” is akin to Angelina Jolie. Despite the promise that you’ll be able to have an enlightening conversation over a nice meal and hopefully hook up afterwards ... sorry, it ain’t happenin’. You’re just gonna have to fantasize about it while you take care of business yourself.
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Work has set us a challenge to build a rock/paper/scissors/dynamite/waterbomb api. We have the spec for what json is expected incoming and outgoing. We are allowed to implement any way we want and with any language we want. We are considering using Clojure but we have no experience with it, hence we will hopefully be learning as we go. Would you recommend using a framework like Pedestal, Hoplon, Luminus, or just use Leiningren or something else?
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!rant
I'm dreaming of a web language that is as close to the English language as possible.
Imagine:
<html>
nav bar with 5 links
slider with 3 images that runs automatically
Section with 3 images next to each other
Paragraph with first word in red
Footer with menu and sign up form
</html>
This would be the shit!6 -
Ugh... I don't like how TCP is a stream protocol and how UDP is unreliable and unordered.
I want a semi-reliable, ordered, message protocol dang it!13 -
Starting my first dev job next week (except for freelance work) and I'm crazy nervous that I'm going to make some huge mistake and look really stupid. Did anyone else have these fears before their first dev job and, if so, how'd you stay at least a little confident?4
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Feature request: please allow the app to work in landscape and rotate. I can't get to the hamburger menu in bottom right due to broken screen3
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For those of you who DO use PHP, regardless of whether you like it or not, have you ever used something like PEAR? And what are your thoughts?
I'm writing a fairly basic internal web app for our PMs and I'm looking for something similar to npm to save me some time/effort. I should also mention that my supervisor insists it be in PHP...6 -
Lead developer tells me to hang tight while he works on an issue and investigates.
PM tells me to make more cards for this section and fix it while the lead developer works on the same exact part.
So... I guess I'll go take a 2 hour lunch?1 -
When the final card is checked off and you realize the past year and a half has been spent making this absolute monster of a service. There really is no better feeling.
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So in Udemy, I am learning about OOP in Java, and the next lecture is a big challenge in making a program with all the knowledge I have learned. I understand each concept, its just its a lot to memorize, however, I get the jist of it (You've ever had that feeling?). Anyways, I started writing notes on what each concept basically was and I began with composition. Now honestly I love composition and I just learned it a while ago. It is actually the most confusing thing I have learned in Java so far, as a few months ago when I was practicing Java I didn't understand it at ALL and I stopped coding for like half a year after (I'm back bebe don't worry). So I make my notes on composition and I realize, dang, I understand this a lot more than I thought. I thought this because what I did was make a file in Eclipse (not a class, a file) and I just started writing code without auto-complete like I was a mad lad. I made classes, fields, and I FEEL like I made my point about composition with the notes I also jotted down. Anyways, this was a part story and part what do you guys think of my notes on Composition. I think they are good and actually kinda detailed. Anyways thanks for reading this!
https://pastebin.com/bqL0CWjM -
Okay. Confession time:
I made a devRant account to "Join the Dark Side". Dark themes are so much better than light themes. They're easier on the eyes (at least for me), they have more aesthetic appeal, and I personally love the color combinations. So I just wanted the dang dark theme. What I got was an addiction to devRant. Well done you sly developers you just hooked another user.1 -
New to the the electronics stuff and I'm building a word clock. Recommendations for a microcontroller that has at least 22 outputs (22 words to light up). Something from Arduino? Also need to plug in for power and use an RTC.5
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What's a good inexpensive android phone for development. Something 14 year olds could use without breaking6
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Wanted to resize the /system of my Nexus for the Stock gapps with parted.
Deleted bootloader noooooooooo!
Someone an idea to fix this :/24 -
Rendering a html page which if fully populated with code and markup....fire up dev server, navigate to route and dang.....page is empty and can't see WTF!!! is wrong7
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While true {
Paste snippet into VS
VS auto-formats on paste
Remember ya told yourself to turn off auto-correct on paste in VS
Deal with it for now
Forget to turn off auto-formats on paste
} -
Still new to development buy holy dang I had no idea clients could be so fickle.
It seems like every time I turn in my one project- which I've been on for a month because of this nonsense- they think of two more major features they wanted all along but never mentioned
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