So... A random morning moment:
(c - Cient, m - me)

C: Help!!! Our users are complaining that our website is not working as intended!!! This is crucial!!!!
M: What's the problem? What is not working?
C: EVERYTHING!!!! FIX IT!!!!
M: Could you be more specific...?
C: Look at the bugsnag - it has all the errrors!!!
M: *looks there - no errors* - But... It has no errors...
C: Okay, so client told me he's using Galaxy SII - does that ring a bell?
M: *thinks that I'm fucked* - Asks, which browser?
C: Why do you need it? It's a browser after all...
M: Yeah but not all browsers are the same and I need type and version to investigate...
C: It's Samsung default browser... Last updated 2012 January.
M: Well, tell that user to update the browser, the site is working fine on newer versions...
C: No, you update it.
M: Browser?!
C: Yes, what else?!
M: Of course, I'll fly 3000 kilometres to press UPDATE button on clients phone...
C: Well, he's not doing it himself - he's afraid!
M: Well, that is his problem. Site is working fine for other users with newer browsers.
C: But... He's a client
M: I get it but he's a client that uses 6 years old browser and tries to visit our website. Don't you remember that we ditched IE support on your behalf for the same reason?!
C: Oh... I see... Can you make something that it works with 2005 browsers?
M: Of course... *evil laugh starts* I'll make the website work on EVERY single device EVER - make it plain text.
C: Are you joking?
M: Are you?

----

And since then, we ditched the actual need for supporting users with old browsers that don't update to modern standards... Feels great!

Wanna mess with users? Take

“OK” and “Cancel”.

You know what looks visually the same but means the opposite?

“NO” and “Confirm”.

Deploy that little ui update overnight and watch the world burn.

So my boss sent me a msg at 00:05 to update production.

And here I was at 7:30am reading it with a poker face thinking "no dude, my working hours are not like that, lol. Get a life."

Use a Mac they said.
No annoying update they said.

Hey everyone - I just wanted to update our Android users on the push notification crash that has been occurring.

The good news is the issue should be fixed in the update I just pushed out (should be available in the Google Play Store within a few hours). We apologize for the crashes and thank everyone for their patience.

I'm still looking in to what actually happened here. Our GCM library hasn't been updated in a while and all of a sudden a specific case started failing. I'll continue to look in to how that seemingly happened with no changes in the app. Some other users of the library started experiencing the same issue.

Windows 10 once again held my computer at ransom! When it finally came around after the update, all it really seem to do is place Edge back on my task bar. No... Bad Microsoft, I don't use or want Edge.

Latest facebook for iOS update is 219 mega-fucking-bytes. Yet, no real changelog to tell me what da fuck changed!!!!!! Fuck that developer for real!!!

Licensing is so freaking weird and stupid.

I mean, I just forked this repo with an Apache license, so I could update a .json file.

"You must cause any modified files to carry prominent notices stating that You changed the files"

Plain JSON allows no comments.

I'm going to jail.

So I've got a friend learning Java, using Eclipse.
I walk in one day and see him restarting his computer. I make nothing of it. Few minutes later, he's restarting again.
I jokingly say "Windows update?"
He responds with the straightest face ever: "No, compiling code."

Apparently he thought you needed to restart the computer before compiling.
Not sure if I should be mortified or laughing my ass off.

FUCK OFF WINDOWS. I NEED TO WORK BECAUSE MY DEADLINE IS COMING BUT NO, THE FUCKING WINDOWS DECIDED TO FUCKING UPDATE. I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE RIGHT NOW, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SOFTWARE. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 1 HOUR TO GET TO 35%. 🖕🖕🖕🖕

Fuck these movie people:
You run "sudo apt-get update.." and you say we've got the signal. Your f*cking signal! Am sure someone even typed the password for you. I update my system every 5 minutes I have got no signal. F*ck you again. I'm not watching the movie again. P*ssing me off.

When doing first level support....
[windows desktop software]

Me: How can I help you?
Client: I installed the latest update from your website yesterday, but the version number hasn't changed
Me: You downloaded version *** ?
Client: Yes
Me: And you installed it?
Client: Yes
Me: Did you get an error message during the installation?
Client: No, everything worked fine, no errors
Me: And the installation process was completed?
Client: I think so
Me: Hmmm... Lets try it again. I will assist you.
Client: Ok
Me: Start your browser and open the website.
Client: ..... did it
Me: Good. Now click on the link to the download page.
Client: .... did it
Me: Do you see the the update package at the top of the list?
Client: Yes.
Me: Ok. Now click on it.
Client: Why?

Windows 10 asking me to update to Windows 10, are there no bounds?

I just hate it when an update for an app is available and there's no changelog. Seriously, tell us what this update is about!

For some idiotic reason, I ran
UPDATE users
SET email="myname@mycompany.com"; in production.

No where clause. Oh drat.

So. My grandma (280 km away) gave me a call.
Grandma: "Hiii. I have a problem with my PC."
Me thinking "ok. Just an ordinary tech support call from granny..."
Me: "Ok. What's the issue?"
Grandma: "Windows tells me there is no space left on drive F, non-stop"
Me: "As far as I know there is no drive F on your PC"
Grandma: "Would you be so kind to have a look?"

I agreed to log on via team viewer.

To cut an already long story short, there was this April Update which sent a bug all around the globe.

This bug exposed an internal drive Windows uses to do its Windows stuff - whatever it is.

Regularly these kind of drives are hidden from users eyes...

I finally solved it by applying a rollback on Windows.
The update is gone and with the next update there will be a fix from May to hide this drives again.

Microsoft!
I do you scare grandparents all around the globe?!??

" I can't wait to install that Java update" - said No One Ever

Weekend so far:

Chrome Update FUCKED UP my website.

Tried to update my server to Ubuntu 16.04. That FUCKED UP in the middle and I didn't have any recent backup.

Went back to old backup. But didn't see any changes in the website. Was wondering that for 1 hour.

Forgot that my website was using cloudflare caching. In the meantime I have changed my DNS settings.

Out of frustration removed website from cloudflare. That FUCKED UP the DNS further.

Now I have no idea how long it will take the DNS to update.

FUCKING F M L

> Get home for lunch, time to get some work done
> Fire up windows to program my keyboard
> WindowsUpdate, fine I can wait
> Reboot, grub rescue - no partition found
> Fire up a live CD, windows update nuked my linux partition (literally - now empty space instead of my previous ubuntu partition)
> Reinstall ubuntu
> Now stuck on «Loading operating system»
Oh well, I know what I'm doing tonight
> Pic related

Spent 6 days, trying to get a navbar to stick in my iOS webapp while scrolling, no way to get it done.
This morning I installed iOS update 11.3, problem solved without changing a single line of CSS...

FUCK YOU APPLE

Working on adjusting a shell script to my needs.

The fucker quits execution after an apt update command is ran.

No reason, it just fucking quits. No error messages or whatever, nothing.

This script can go suck a cock.

TL;DR: Fuck you Apple.

10:30 PM, parent needs iPhone update to update Messenger. How hard can this be?
Need to update iPhone from 9.x to latest, which is so outdated it still required iTunes. Fk.

Boot iTunes on Windows 10 pc that is at least 10 years old.
Completely unresponsive
Crash in task manager
Launch and is completely unresponsive. (Also starts playing unrequested music.. Oh joy..)
Fuck this, go to apple.com to download iTunes exe
Gives me some Microsoft store link. Fuck that shit, just give me the executable
Google “iTunes download”. click around on shitty Apple website. Success.
Control panel. Uninstall iTunes. (Takes forever, but it works)
Restart required (of fucking course).
2 eternities later. Run iTunes exe. Restart required. Fk.
Only 1 eternity later. Run iTunes, connect iPhone.
Actually detects the device. (holy shit, a miracle)
Starts syncing an empty library to the phone. Ya, fuck that.
Google. Disable option. Connect phone. Find option to update.
Update started. Going nowhere fast. Time for a walk at 1:00 AM punching the air.
Come back. Generic error message: Update failed (-1). Phone is stuck installing update. (O shit)
1x hard reset
2x hard reset
Google. Find Apple forum with exact question. Absolutely useless replies. (I expected no less)
Google recovery mode. Get into recovery mode.
Receive message: “You can update, but if it fails, you will have to reset to factory settings”. Fuck it, here we go.
Update runs (faster this time). Fails again. Same bullshit error message. (Goddammit, fuck. This might actually be bad.)
Disconnect phone.
… It boots latest iOS version. (holy shit, there is a god)
Immediately kill iTunes. Fuck that shit.
Parents share Apple account
Sign in, 2FA required.
Fat finger the code.
Restart “welcome” process.
Will not send code. What. The. Fuck.
Requests access code on other parent’s iPhone.
No code present. What???
Try restarting welcome process again. No dice. (Of course)
Set code on other parent’s iPhone.
Get message “Code is easy to guess”. Ya. IDGAF
Use code on newly updated iPhone. Some success.
Requires reset of password.
Password cannot be the same as old password (Goddammit)
Change password.
Welcome process done.
Sign in again on same phone after welcome process done in settings. (Nice.)
Sign in again on other phone with updated password
Update Messenger.
Update hangs. Needs more space.
Delete shit.
Update frozen in App Store (Really??)
Restart iPhone.
Update Messenger.
Update complete past 2. Well that was easy.

Apple, fuck you.
Some call Android unintuitive, but I look at the settings app on iPhone and realize you aren’t any better.
This company hasn’t been innovative since 2007. Over 1000 USD for a phone? Are you fucking kidding me?
Updating an iPhone from iOS 9.x is probably uncommon anymore. But this is a fucking joke. Fix your shit.
Shit like this is why I’ll never again own an Apple product. I have HAD IT with the joke of a business.

Thanks for reading.

Since my last update, I got a new screen. We reorganised the office, so I got a new spot in the office (corner with no one behind me). Got a monitor stand.

I’m costing the Norwegian people so much. All this stuff I request, is financed by the tax kroner.

Devrant client update:

- load indicator on ajax execs
- changed the design yet again, hopefully final this time lol
- implemented ajax content loading so the menubar doesn't flash
- block users/keywords plugins done, only left to find a clean way to integrate it with the upcoming notifications, so no notifications are fired for blocked users or posts with blocked keywords (similar to twitter mute keywords)
- usernames linkifier plugin
- links get unshortened on feed too (via plugin), without losing the ability to press on a post

next is (just to name a few, the trello list is far bigger by now)

- login
- local notifications, should be firing without GCM/FCM too hopefully, which would be great for people on here that de-googled entirely and don't want microG
- port some of my userscript plugins I haven't yet
- theme system
- global and plugin settings
- plugin update system
- plugin import checks for obfuscated code, one line etc. and warns the user
- client update system

"Windows can't update because you don't have enough disk space"

HOW ABOUT YOU STOP FUCKING POPPING UP A GIANT UNFUCKOFFABLE OVERLAY IN THE MIDDLE OF MY VIDYA GAMES FOR THE 10000th TIME?

I fucking know I have no disk space, if you complain one more fucking time, I'll make disk space -- by deleting you.

(I'm joking, linux/mac game support is so fucking trash)

Oh, we don't know why it broke. I know you just did A HUGE FUCKING DATABASE SEVER UPGRADE to the server we're connected to, but no one understands this code, so can't update it to work. Can you roll back 3 VERSIONS so our application that hasn't had a code change in 11 years is optimized?

sometimes I hate python....

Ive just chased down a bug where a simple string saved in a simple dict sometimes came out as a f*cking tuple(!) when I needed it!

turned out that at some point this dict got updated with values from some other dict. And at some other point, I decided it was a great idea to rewrite that update code into individual setter's instead ... and of course forgot to remove one the trailing comma's, thus creating a perfectly legal tuple .... *sigh*

No errors, no warnings - just plain corrupt data....

New windows update,
Do you wanna Enable Speech assistant?
Me, No..
Do you want to be tracked?
Me, HELL NO!
Do you want a special ID that we can give you better ads?
Me, WTF WINDOWS!
Last question,
Me, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hey look, npm broke my project again. Surprise!

Code and dependencies on my local machine, all untouched for a couple of weeks, no longer works. I've no idea how it even managed that.

Oh, and `npm update` crashes.

eventually solved by upgrading npm and running `npm update --depth 500` because some arbitrary child dependencies changed without updating the parent packages, ofc. on my local machine. without me having run `npm update` for about a month.

because of course that makes sense.
Second time in two months, too.

isn't npm great?

DEVS THAT MANUALLY UPDATE AUTOGENERATED CODE ARE THE WORST!!!!

Guess who has to clean up your mess? And be pinged about it later when another dev thinks they wrote the feature??

No, your hack wasn't cool.

Windows 10 update: no more wifi, no more trackpad, 60MB more RAM usage when idle.
Thanks Microsoft!

Why the fuck would iTunes or any product from Apple (or anywhere) care what Outlook is doing or if it's even there?!?

I have no settings, add-ons, mods, apps, or anything that would justify this!

And it came TWICE in a single update installation!!!

Dear Developers at Microsoft,
Why the FUCK does windows try to update EVERY TIME I boot my VM even though it fails EVERY FUCKING TIME? Can't it fucking learn that it's fucking broken and doesn't work? No? OK...

Just updated to the latest insider build for Windows 10.. left PC unattended and came back later and it was ready... no BSODs, no random crashes, no issues, nothing... it just works as expected...

I can hear Linux fanatics screaming after reading this 😂

FUCK all this Windows stereotypes BS going on here

When there is no automatic way of checking if you software update came through correctly and no personal is in the building so you have to boot 421 PCs.

The worst project is the one I am currently working on. I didn’t build it but have to manage it, because... Reasons.

The projects is made on Core PHP(red flag right there).
But when I dig in I get to see there is no authentication used in any of the REST service. Yup. What's the fucking point of login if you are just going to update profiles based on user_id you Twat! The querying used is simply mysql_query (I have to say I expected that).
No relationships defined in the Mysql table structure. No migrations.
There is an upload feature which is forcing the image to be saved as jpeg, therby corrupting the images being saved on the server.
No security, terrible logic, no classes, terrible architecture.

And I am the chosen one to maintain this shit!

Truely, FML!!!

Microsoft be like :
"Oh, you're moving away from your computer for a while with all this stuff open? It would a shame if some were to.. UPDATE it!"

It asks with a pop up, and if you don't answer it, it thinks "Oh, you're not telling me if I should update now or not, but I think you probably want me to update. UPDATE!"

For me, if I keep ignoring the update, it starts to create problems for me out of nowhere. It starts to lag and then the task manager starts to lag. EVERYTHING IS NOT RESPONDING.
When I finally update it, it acts like there were no issues at all. Everything is fine..

Even with Xbox, if it wants to update, it doesn't let you go online until you do. If it loses connection mid-update for some reason, it begins the update again from the friggin START. All that time updating gone to waste. Recently, I'm having a lot of issues with it. It doesn't let me sign in a lot of times. "We couldn't sign you in" for some reason. It JUST CAN'T. If you have a slow internet connection, you can't play any game at all. I contacted Microsoft Support about that issue and they concluded that it was all because of the slow internet connection and there were no issues on their end and they told me to GIT GOOD (Not exactly those words). If it does sign you in, it kicks you out mid-game for some reason with the evil pop up saying "Bye User_Name". The game says that YOU signed out (Dumb game, doesn't understand Microsoft shenanigans) and returns you to the main menu. If your game didn't save, well, GOOD luck to you!
Everything takes forever to load, if it decides it's not gonna load, it gives me a really helpful error saying "Something went wrong".
Maybe it's just me, it just hates me particularly. It makes me think that Microsoft intentionally acts like a douche just to get attention..

(In the end I think, maybe, this all is not a big deal if you surrender and accept Microsoft as your overlord)

I tried a few ways to stop Windows from updating automatically, but nothing worked (Maybe, I should try again).

Maybe I should dual boot Linux, but that brings a whole new set of things that I'd have to deal with, doesn't it?

Sigh

I wish people that made desktop apps would consider cpu and ram usage. "Oh I've just opened... ...let me index your vendor folder and check that I need to update at the same time whilst you only have 20% cpu left and 2GB of RAM remanding :D" no; fuck off. Why don't you wait until there's enough CPU power left to check for your update?

Update on myFacebook/Meta interview:

Got rejected. lol

The first interviewer was a dick to me and I sensed it since he kept pushing me back a lot and wanted things his way.

But anyway, it was a nice learning experience for me. I spent more time on preparing for them then I should have. No regrets though.

Life learning.

Type T ( something something... )
...
Type * TP = T;
TP.do()

> Be me
> Production code
> Update Type structure
> SEGV
> Wtf why was this even working
> Ask senior
> senior y u do dis
> bc
> Why were no errors
...
> mfw
> He says

"I added -fpermissive and forgot..."

On production since May

...

...

...

... 2007

"Update on the last meeting, we'll either release what we've got or do something different"

WELL NO SHIT! 🤦‍♂️

So, you are in middle of something urgent and top priority? In the meeting just displaying the business plan for 1000 people? Fixing a bug that needs the release in 30min or otherwise small babies will start to burn?

Update. Why not? It's like driving down the motorway, someone stops you and tells you that they're going to remove your steering wheel now. For no reason.

So yesterday evening I was going to play some games. Checked NVIDIA and saw new update (no beta). So I went to install it and it literally fucked up my graphics card.

One monitor stopped working instantly and the other one got this old tv effect like when you had no signal.

Took me two hours to downgrade to my old drivers because I couldn't fucking see shit.

PLS NVIDIA DONT PUSH NEW DRIVERS IF YOU FUCKIN NOT TESTED THEM

Well thank you Apple for this awesome 10.13.whatever update that got my MBP into a failed installation with no way to boot the os or revert the update without losing shit and a lot of time, arghhhh :/

Also: yay, first rant

I love how i finish a project, dont touch ANYTHING for months, then a few months later i try to run it and NOTHING WORKS. I cant start. I cant compile. Now i have to update versions. Now developer mode has to be turned on and restarted phone. Now i have to configure something specific in xcode. Now i have to update xcode. Now it crashes. Now i have to modify something. AND IT NEVWR FUCKING ENDS. I DIDNT TOUCH SHIT SINCE THE LAST TIME I OPENED THIS PROJECT AND IT WORKED PERFECTLY FINE. I DIDNT EVEN CHANGE MY PHONE OR PC. I DIDNT EVEN DELETE THE REPOSITORY FROM MY PC. AND BY MAGIC EVERYTHING GOT FUCKED A FEW MONTHS LATER FOR NO REASON. NO. I WILL FUCK YOU. U WONT FUCK ME. FUCK U

Okay so this happened ages ago (nearly five years) but this suddenly came to my mind again.

It was in the first year of my study (currently in my 5th and last year).

I was experimenting around with php and mysql during some free hours. All the insert,delete and so on statements worked perfectly find except for one update statement. Started to debug of course and after a little while of no results I was like "oh yeah right, something like logs exists of course". Looked in the logs but nothing. No matter how I altered my code (rewrote it numerous times for some 'clean starts') it just would not run the update statement.

Alright, time for some class mate help. After multiple hours of debugging with a few classmates, there was still no result at all.

Time to bring in one or more teachers. After hours of debugging, still no result even with the help of a few good teachers.

Decided to give it a rest for that day.

Two weeks later it still was not updating anything/working and I finally gave up.

Till today, I still have no clue what went wrong and it still bugs me from time to time :/

Game dev update: I'm procrastinating the project cuz I need help with stupid background and it doesnt mix well so Im just contemplating existence
But I did this for fun

Suddenly some some strange noice from the kitchen... Hmm my wife's laptop sounds like it plays some TV series but no one is logged in.

Conclusion: windows update restarted her computer while it was paused on Netflix, after reboot chrome opens to latest url where it autoplays trailers.

Conundrum resolved.

It says "There was no battery found."

This laptop was not connected to a power adapter, but Windows also said that there is no battery. Did I missed the update where Microsoft implemented magic wireless energy?

When your boss gives her boss an update on your project that isn't true, and makes you look incompetent, just because she had no idea. Fucking muppet.

When you trying to develop a site, you change some CSS, refresh the localhost and it doesn't update. You try changing that CSS value to something more noticeable to see if you're just imagining things. But no, it's your browser cache. Clear it.

Python 2. Python is an awesome language, but Python 2. No. I want to die.
It's deprecated as of 2018, so get your shit together and update your fucking libraries, community!

Windows update fails with error 0x1235

Me in Technet: Hey, ms, i got this error. How do i fix it?
MS: Install the Troubleshooting for Windows Update and follow the instructions. Before that, create a system restore just in case. Also, if the problem persists, go to your boot menu -> troubleshooting options and follow the instructions.
Hope it helps.
Found it helpful? Yes No

Other random people: just rename $WINDOWS ~BT to anything or delete it. Then continue the process.

.
.

I followed the random people advice and worked.

Fuck MS.

Just heard a site IT leader say her laptop was "fixed with a BIOS update" followed by "I have no idea what that means"

How do these people get into these kinds of roles?

Wtf windows I leave my computer for 30 fucking minutes and you just initiate an update. No confirmation box that I want to shut down my entire computer for an hour. Fuck you windows

Had no internet for hours.
Called the support.
"We will fix it!" they said and they actually did. So maybe there are competent people working there as well???

No. Of course not.

Two hours later I receive a call from them. "It was not our fault. There was an update so we had to plug the cables back into the right ports."

Software update
Physical connections

Wat

Got so many. (remember where I am from? 😁) Gonna share my favorite first.

X : I want a web app that my staffs can use and update data from different branches.

Me : Ok I can development such project.

X : But I want them it offline so they can use the app even with slow internet or no internet.

Me : 💀

// The data are shared across the branches BTW.

There are numerous horror stories about Windows updates, but Mac updates aren't better. Yesterday I updated to Catalina (reluctantly), and when the computer restarted I was silently praying "Please don't fuck up my VMs".
Naturally, it fucked up VMware...

What is it with these companies and mandatory updates?

Microsoft with windows 10. Sorry your doing work? Nah, we've decided your going to update now! Sorry, we based our default update time on people not working late at night.

Philips hue. Wanna turn on your lights? Sorry, mandatory firmware update. You'd better install that before being able to see.

YouTube app on ps4. No sorry, can't open this, mandatory 80mb update.

FUCK SAKE PEOPLE.

My nipples are hard, as hard as diamond. For no fucking reason at all.

But aside from that important update, does anyone just get this absolute light-headed euphoria whenever they realize they've fixed a bug?

Like my god, its the best feeling. I've only fixed other people's bugs a few time, and even then I experienced it.

#newlifenewhope -> update no. 0 / Day 0

it's about the end of Day 0, front office is taking shape. the pantry is cleaned.

can't wait to see how my repurposed bunker will look like.

Order and Shipment progress :
- My Server supposed to be arrive tommorow
- Rubber Ducks Package Delivery is accepted by courier
- 2 weeks before my Office Requirements Arrive

Further Update for my Little Office Installment will be tagged as : #newlifenewhope

Stay Tuned !

Late one night I realize that Visual Studio has an update available.

> Might as well. Maybe they finally implemented that auto bug-fixer.

I download the update and it warns me that I must restart my computer. Fair enough, I was just about to shut down my computer anyways.

I turn off my computer for the night.

Boot up the next day, try to open Visual Studio.

It says to me: "No, I mean, you gotta RESTART. Not just re-start, or whatever shit you just did."

Ok. Restarted the machine.

Making a small update to an ionic app then spending a whole day trying to figure out why a button doesn't work. Tried everything to fix it and got no error messages.

Finally discovered it was because the button was inside a label and not a div.

Yeah, fun times.

boss: *showing me the new platform*
me: "oh that looks like a good demo"
boss: "ah no that's the product! we're going to put this live"
me: "wh... there's no update nor delete function for anything! where is the user profile? where are the menus??"
boss: "that's ok, we'll take note when people start using it"

and now

boss: "we've concluded the product was bad and we're giving up on it"

Windows: would you like to update?
Me: no not rn I'm currently on battery and traveling, let me just quickly restart.
Windows: Okay I'll install the latest updates for you.
Me: oh FFS

Hey, I´m through with the Win10 update.
That was fast. And no problems! Everything seems to be working.

Wait...
Android SDK not found...
Java not found ...
Seems all my environment variables are gone.
Even better all the standard variables are wrong too.
My Home Drive is now "H:" ?
What the hell?

Our team really needs some workflow arrangement, and this time it was me who screwed up.
So we have to push an update to the Play Store and the App Store the Friday, the app is well tested on test environment then production environment, we got the ok so I uploaded a build, the app management team then continued the process of publishing..

During the weekend the app was approved and live to almost 500k user that can receive the update.

I got a phone call from the Project Manager at almost midnight, the time was really suspicious so I answered.
- Me: Hello.
- PM: Hi, sorry to call you now but the app is live and we have a problem.
- Me: what kind of problem? Let me check.

So I updated the app on my phone and opened it while I am on call.. I almost had heart attack!! WE PUBLISHED A VERSION POINTING TO THE TEST ENVIRONMENT. Holly shit

- Me: shit call the app management team NOW.

Eventually we removed the app from sale (unpublished it) and we submitted a new version immediately, once it was approved the next day we made the app available again (so for those who didn’t update yet, there will be no update to a faulted version, and no new users landing to a version with test data), I received one or two calls from friends telling me why the app is not on the store (our app is used nationally, so it’s really important).

Thank God there was no big show on twitter or other social media.. but it’s really a good lesson to learn.

I understand this is totally my fault, thankfully I didn’t get fired 😅

Product Owners are the worst. They literally have no knowledge of the product or what the client needs. All they do is ping after every few hours to get an update which is so annoying!

“Hey - just calling you to give you an update”

Great - sorry can you refresh my memory what was this for?

“So I was about to put you through for a client but they’re no longer accepting CVs so just to update you that’s not happening”

Sorry, what was the client again?

“Oh I can’t say, but they’re no longer accepting CVs”

“...Thanks, goodbye.”

*So you call me to tell me that you can’t give my details to a client that you can’t disclosure....get off my line 🤬😡🤬*

-Active hours set
-Update regularly
-No programs that interfere with the normal update process

5:30pm (INSIDE SET ACTIVE HOURS) my computer reboots IN THE MIDDLE OF ME USING IT with NO WARNING OR PROMPT

Windows you dork

Windows asks to update. I say no and 10min later i get this casual update continuing.

Glad i have a say in life

I hate people who dog on wsl

Windows subsystem Linux

I use it. It has been wonderful. No problems that Google couldn't fix. Always a patch or an update.

And I can use Windows just fine.

No dual boot needed, no bullshit wine needed, no having to do without Photoshop

There,.. I'm out of the closet

My uncle showed me how to use it ok mom and dad

I'm starting a wsl parade who's in

> Tells client, if content isn't hosted on their server somewhere, we'll have to update the app every time they need new content

> Client refuses saying it will take too much time and effort to maintain

*Several weeks later*

> Get email from client asking to update the app because content is out of date

> I want to reply with 'Sorry no can do, it will take too much time and effort to maintain'

New Avatar item and no update? Are the items in the avatar builder fetched from the api? Would be an interesting endpoint for my api docs.
Will do research.

Running a wild UPDATE statement against an inventory database, it was chaotic and didn't have backups.... yea I know 😅 the backup service died god knows when and no one noticed. I was only new at the time so #notMyFault

UPDATE stock_on_hand = 0; WHERE id IN(1,2,3,4,5,88,972,7388);
# rows affected 1,234,567,890

> I think I almost died inside.

Oh the fun that mess was to clean up.
The positive outcome of this was, we had backups working again not long after and the inventory counts where accurate after that stock take.

It's both extremely satisfying and extremely rage-inducing when you learn that an update in the framework breaks your once perfectly functional code for no reason.

Especially when said code is from a sample written by the developers themselves.

Thank god there was a hotfix.

So my car has a problem with a steering column lock. Sometimes the actuator pops an error and it does not unlock until I clear that buggar. Carrying a lappy with vag-com seems somewhat annoying so I got a obdeleven bluetooth dongle with am app.

Once you get it to work it works perfectly. Have been using it for a few years now. It's like a half a year or so since it got a last update and it's been stable as a rock since.

Today me and my fam took a night out with a car. Drove here, drove there, had fun. Time to go home, as the little one is getting sleepy. Got in a car, insert a key, turn it -- no ignition. Damn that steering lock!

So I pop in a dongle, open the app, hit connect,... Wait, what is that? A toast with "a new update is available. [[update now]] [[cancel]]".

Cancel ofc, I need to go home asap! Will gladly get the update when the kiddo is in his bed!

[[cancel]]. The toast disappears. Okay, now [[connect]]

"a new update is available. [[update now]] [[cancel]]"

mother f#$@%!!! Allright already, [[update]] it ffs.

Updated the app. Now [[connect]].

Loading.. Loading... "could not connect to device"

tfq?!?

Reinsert the dongle, connect
restart the app, connect
restart the phone, connect
clear all bt devices, connect
do the rain dance, connect.

Permission to panic: GRANTED.

Dear devs. If you are rolling out an update -- never ever EVER make it non-postponable, non-cancelable. No matter how critical, your updates must NEVER be mandatory.

This week I learned:

a.) Always quadruple check new feature before pushing a new update - otherwise it will end with one to three hotfixes
b.) Never do the last minute changes to the features - that ends with two to four hotfixes
c.) Always make sure that the update system works - otherwise no one will get your hotfixes

FUUUUuuuuuuu....
No, just no! I said I don't want you restart right now! Or ever! Dafaq duuude!? I thought we had a deal?! You don't update, I don't rant about you!? Well fuck you too!! Deal's off! I hate you, Loki, I hate you!! Stop restarting & updating when I'm tryin to relax & watch series!!

Here's the current WK setup. Sadly no HQ setup but hopefully I can post an update later this year

So windows decided to be the cunt it is once again!
I turned my windows to sleep cause I was gonna have dinner and I don't fucking know what the fuck windows think "sleep" is but after around 10 minutes a hear a sound of a device getting unplugged (I use an external mouse)
Fuck! Fucking shit, you dimwit, you decided to perform a goddamn update? An update? Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me, I did an update around a week or two ago! And my laptop was on sleep for a motherfucking reason! All my tabs...all those fucking tabs and programs
How the fuck can you update when I only kept it in sleep you shitnugget?!
What kind of asshole does that? I had unsaved files man
And now it restarted twice and no, this motherfucking cunt couldn't even apply the updates; just fucking rolled back!

Tried to figure out why my computer was being slow and lagging earlier. Thought it may have been a bad update to the kernel I recently did, or an update to a package.

No, it was chrome and its horrible memory usage.

I had a USB WiFi dongle installed and working great. Then someone pulled it out of my computer, without talking to me, so they could use it. I found another in the office...exact same model...plug it in. Drivers don't work. Can't update them. Reinstallation crashes. Try to restart computer, it crashes. Restart computer and now Outlook won't even open. No idea what to do now, but this is going on an hour and counting of no productivity.

WTF Windows? You can't even handle a WiFi dongle right?

Uhhhh !!! No standard way for electron apps to auto-update on Linux.

WTF !!!

Yay, now I know what that windows update was about... oh no, this isn't another "fuck windows, update broke shit again" post.

This is a "wtf, you dodgey shit bags" kind of post, "you" managed to install Skype, install this stupid ducking "meet now" service - which is fucking hidden (anyone have any pointers? Google's not doing its job yet), and now I have to uninstall office completely to remove Skype 🤦‍♂️

Why won't you fuckers let it go, didn't we ALL move to teams recently?

Boss: Where should i put this piece of code so the android app will work correctly?
Me: Maybe here and we run some tests.
Boss: What? You built the app so you have to know where I should write the code for the endpoint and your app will work. No time for tests. And no update.

Fuck you boss.

newlifenewhope Update No.1 / Day 2

It's so hard to formulate company's Vision and Mission, even rubber ducks is not helpful. I need my vision to be unambiguous. this will take a while to finalize

My Server arrived and not opened yet
The Dozen of rubber ducks is delayed for another 3 days.

Me: Hmm... My Android phone has been acting strange lately, cell signal keeps dropping... Maybe I picked up a virus... let's flash the latest update.

Phone: Updating Done

Me: Hm... signal is still bad... maybe it's hardware... *Angry*

Phone: By the way you lost root

Me: @#$%$&&$%^#$!#$@$%$#%^ OK LETS SEE, SUPERSU, REINSTALL THE BINARIES... YES!!!

Phone: Reinstalling... Restarting...
......................................................
......................................................

Me: it's not loading.... why? NO! I bricked it..... NO NO NO NO.....

*1 hour of flailing...*

Hey Recovery still works! OK, let's try to reflashing the OS

Phone: Flashing... Restarting...

Me: Please, please... let this work.... it's not starting............. wait. IT LOADED!!!! WOOT!!!! AWESOME...

Phone: still no root...

Me: Eh...

And there went my most of my evening which I was supposed to spend preparing for an interview tomorrow....

me: alright let me print this now.

*goes downstairs*

printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...

*no paper to be seen*

me: why isn't this working?

*checks computer upstairs.*

computer: *popup* We have an update scheduled for 17:40, we can install it then or, if you like, now.

me: oh, ok.

Coding along, frustrated already, need to restart computer to test something.

Of course im running on Windows and then I realize I have no restart opinion, the only one that exists is "update and restart"

*sigh*

React router is shit
I have never seen more retarded library.

Not only those suckers change the 100% of the API every fucking update for no reason, also they have the most fucked up documentation ever.

No search in the docs!!! Fucking bullshit examples with no such easy things like how to create nested routes.

Please, stop using this piece of shit, I'm tired of working with this fucking abomination. Hope they will delete their shit repo one day.

My status update for tomorrow:
"I've done the tests and have the results, now all I have to do is work out what the numbers mean coz I started this task 6 months ago and have spent most of the last 6 months putting out fires elsewhere and have no idea what I was doing".

Mgr: composer require. That's all you're allowed to do. I want you to manually go through our word press site, check which ones need an update. And do a composer require in the command line for each to update them.

Me: wouldn't it make more sense to just increment the version in the composer.json and then run update?

Mgr: no, you don't understand how composer works, it's very complicated. Just do require. Don't ever do update.

Me: *does it anyway (reverting later of course) and compares update vs require and their differences in the lock file*

I mean it looks like 'update' is updating important dependencies for each of the packages as well as the package itself... The 'require' just seems to download the package itself but no updates to dependencies for those packages.

But seriously is composer that complicated that I can't just do an 'update'?

I've been reading the composer documentation and it seems to be saying that update is the better way to go...

I'm doubting myself these days...

Fuck me. I have to update an Android app I have built 2 years ago. So much have changed, I need to update pretty much every dependency I have and no library seems to compile with the latest Android SDK yet.

I feel like Dr. Strange living the 14,000,605 possibilities when trying different library versions.

It's probably easier to rewrite everything. Now in Kotlin.

Just when I need to update, Google says no 😒

Installing the new Windows 10 April 2018 Update SDK... wish me luck.

This is the last time Microsoft! I'm getting my old Arch image out and removing you from my life forever! Never again will my linux distro randomly uninstall itself without telling me in the middle of implementing new components and crash my development server. Never again will I have to deal with an update that refuses to STFU and go away until I, ME NOT YOU MICROSOFT, decides it's a good time to run the update. No more lack of customization and poor support of common dev tools. I'M DONE WITH YOU, WE NEED TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

Me - sits down to code
Windows - need to install small update
Me - skip
Windows - HELL NO UPDATE
6 hours later.......
Update faild.

I was employed as a Researcher so for three months i basically did nothing but read, document, read, document, read, document. Then one day in a review i was doing a demo that required sql. Three months no coding. Of course I've forgotten. And now, this ass back boss of mine gets surprised because i asked for help on update syntax for sql?!?! Like, come on. I COULD GOOGLE THAT. No big deal. But it was to him. He thought i was incompetent as a software engineer. So hE DECIDED TO JUST RANDOMLY PUT ME IN A DEV TEAM and i was expected to perform as fAst AS THEM while still doing mountains of task on research. Worst part is THEY EVALUATED ME BASED ON THAT PERFORMANCE. AFTER I WORK MY ASS OFF FOR THREE MONTHS AS A RESEARCHER, I GET EVALUATED BADLY BECAUSE I DIDNT MEMORIZE THE UPDATE SYNTAX NGNGNNGGNGNNGNGGNF

Today's GDPR-Bullshittery.

So we are using an open source remote update system for updating our embedded devices.
And today we learned that, that system logs ip-adress'. And low and behold mr.GDPR says that is a no no.

So either we completely drops it, finds a new update system and implements it..
Sift through all the source code of the update system "fix" it and recompile it.
Or we setup a Man in the middle attack on ourselves. To mask the ip-adress'.

GDPR encouraging hacking ourselves I fucking love it!

Never have I been so satisfied as I am right now after having implemented a login and user account system with the ability to update user preferences with databases n' shit in PHP after only knowing PHP for a day.

Speaking of all that, do you guys know of any good place to make sure all my stuff is secure? No SQL injections n' the like.

Custom image format update for anyone who is interested…

First blocks of data have been written and the colour table has been compressed from ~170KB to 30 bytes…

Now to decide on my preferred method for pixel indexing, RLE or no RLE… and how should one do the RLE…

My Win 10 stopped updating 2 months ago. "Windows update database error" it says. No fix worked, the only thing to do (according to Microsoft assistance) is to reinstall the whole system. Only because i clicked on "postpone" to the last one.

I really miss Windows 7...

No way!!! a theme update messed up all my work in a WordPress plugin, I need a way to inherit a theme plugin and edit it using a child plugin, but no, WordPress is completely a piece of shit!!

ps: Grammarly says this rant sounds optimistic.

Gonna be one of those nights....

Context: no boot after Windows 10 update

"Raspbian has no auto-updates installed by default"

Raspbian on boot: "running daily apt update and upgrade"

K.

Ok, so many people rant about windows update. It can fuck up things, starts unexpectedly (after 100 warnings and messages letting you choose when but ok) and it takes too long to update.

I use Windows daily so I update regularly and never takes more than 5 mins. 20 when its a major update twice a year. So let's talk about Linux.

Yesterday I wanted to try out .net core on Linux so I booted my antergos vm to do it. TLDR: Didn't do shut because, surprise, Linux updates.

So apparently I downloaded the wrong version of visual studio code. Uninstall and install the right one then. Nope, can't do that. Some dependency must be updated. That dependency is on the highest version on the AUR, I have to get a different one. Ok, no problem. But I can install the other because uninstalling the original breaks more dependencies. Well fuck then.

So I decided I'd do a full system update with pacman, shouldn't take long. 1.6gb worth of update. I have 200mb download so it should be fast right? Well, I had to wait a couple of hours.

So I couldn't do anything on my afternoon because of Linux updates. That's an original rant isn't it?

And before the comments get here, yeah I know it's arch, it's difficult and all that. This isn't about being hard to do. It's just annoying and making me lose time.

Update Table_Name Set Column_Name = ‘New Value’;

Commit;

I did this on prod and my manager started screaming on me.

Is there any issue in it?

An update on my rant about that interview I had.
They emailed saying they're sorry I didn't pass etc.

My literal response was: wow. Shocker. No shit I didn't pass 😂

Found this on the big ass advert screen outside my cinema. The Dino represents my feelings very well to that exact message 😂

So a few days ago windows decides to update. No alerts, nothing. Just a random update. 4 HOURS LATER it's still going "hi, we have a new update for you". By hour 5 it's finally done. My wonderful new desktop is a black screen with broken keyboard drivers (mouse still works somehow) and the other user accounts are also broken (but explorer somehow still loads). Then these motherfuckers have the nerve to send a dialog saying "congratulations on updating Windows to the latest version" ...... ;-;

reinstalled windows and everything works again. just need to download ~500Gb of programs on a >1mb/s connection.

fml

ps. this is my first rant, sorry if it's a bit incoherent.

I genuinely want to murder the degenerate retard working at chrome how decided that extensions are allowed to open popups whenever they update.

NO ADBLOCKPLUS I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR NEW UPDATE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BLOCK YOURSELF YOU WORTHLESS CUNT

> Sorry, you have not updated your browser this week. Please update your browser to use our site.

*user tries to update browser*

> Sorry, your operating system is no longer supported. Please upgrade your operating system to install this update.

*user tries to update operating system*

> Sorry, your device is no longer supported. Please buy a new phone to use this operating system.

*buys new phone*

> Pay! Pay! Pay! Consoooom!

————

See where this is going? It is thinly-veiled planned obsolescence.

maybe, that's a minor update to your policy, but it's a major update to my privacy. No, thanks.

A little update after yesterday's catastrophe:

No catastrophe today (so far). Managed to clear some space on the servers, and the backup ran correctly overnight.

Also...and I'm still checking this... but I think I've just received a pay rise.

wait....is today...a good day?

fuck oracle. fuck my company.

Using Oracle VM Manager/Servers to host Oracle Phone transfer solution without support coverage from Oracle.

Requiring Unix sysadmins to update to latest release and not telling that we do not have coverage from Oracle if anything goes wrong.

Gues what.. We've updated to Oracle VM Manager/Server 3.4.5 which was released this year and it uses fucking XEN hypervisor version 4.4.4 which has been deprecated and dead since who knows when. Latest release of XEN is 4.11. But that is not an issue, whatever, enterprise, legacy software, etc.

This fucking update introduced memory leak on the hypervisor which has been reported as per xen 4.4.4 history. Furthermore, we have no support from Oracle which means that I have to dig through mailing lists and limited information on the net since oracle has freakin support wall on nearly each of the major bugs found on that shitty software.

I have no idea whether any newer version of xen will work with that old Oracle Linux kernel or not.

Furthermore, Oracle provided great documentation on how to rollback the fcking update. Reinstall the hypervisor. Riiiight. XEN does not have export/import feature.

eh

Apple: Mojave update breaks OpenGL code and causes a black screen? It's ok, no rush, nothing to fix here. Anyways OpenGL is deprecated right?

I literally spent a couple of hours debugging my engine because it would show a black screen until the rendering window was moved or resized. Only to find out it's a known OpenGL bug after the Mojave update. No biggie.

My company provides its services as web pages and web services to our customers.

Once a year we update the certificate used for the https connections.

I notified the update to the clients that use the web services.

One of them asked me a copy of the public key.

No problem. Open the web site with the browser, save the key and send by email.

One day later the client asked me the public key in a zip file because the anti virus blocked my attachment.

Why the client hates the Chain of Trust ?
He could obtain the public key by them self from the browser or openssl.

In the past months, every week or so, boss asked me:
"So what are you doing now?"

My typical reply was "finished thing and then gonna move on the oculus project to update that"
To which, he always replied with: "Nah, leave it, focus on all the other platforms"

Today we have to send the Oculus version to a big client and yet nothing is updated because it never was a main thing to update.

I will surely fuck something's up on this app, but not gonna take the blame.

Microsoft is asshoe.
They tried to force update a Windows 10 Home machine to Windows 11. Nobody clicked okay on anything. It had icon in task bar indicating it would install it on reboot. I had to go into the update settings to click "no for now". Fuck you microsoft. Eat shit and die. Just leave my shit alone.

Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!

Apparently the windows 10 anniversary update did "something" to my laptop today.
Keyboard stopped taking input at a random moment a few hours after the update. I shut it down, and it's stuck while shutting down. Pressing the power button has no effect, and the battery is non replaceable (except with a screwdriver and unplugging a cable, which I don't want to do while there is still power running through the system)

Guess I'll just leave it unplugged and hope for the battery to die.
Thanks you Windows 10, thank you Dell P57F002.

[UPDATE] on my newly joined internship

Considering how corporate the organisation is, I'm surprised how chill everyone is. My team consists of mostly millennials, which is great!
Everyone is super helpful, I honestly thought it'd be shitty experience joining in and it'd all be so formal but none!
First few days I got no work, so I went and asked my mentor and he just laughed and said go home, watch Netflix, which I definitely didn't expected cause corporates

I got web testing work twice (sad I didn't get more, but in time it will increase), got some research work currently which is cool too.

Honestly, I wasn't excited to join as I didn't know what kinda work would I even get(it was pretty vague) but I'm glad I got this.
I'll continue to update here, and sorry I couldn't update any sooner

Cheers my dudes

Slack's latest update just broke the darkify hack. It's 2019, right? It is unbelievable that there is no built-in dark mode for Linux, Mac, or even windows. I mean, they are aware of dark mode. It is available on mobile without trouble. Get it together, slack!

On today's episode of Corporate BS

I must please go update logstash on this server. Okay, so I literally just need to ssh in and run "yum update logstash"

No, I need to apply for temp root access and depending who picks up that ticket, I may have to log a change request

Me: Alright Derwent, don't fuck up this database update. There's no undo button and no way to import a database backup so you gotta be extra careful or you're going to have to spend hours writing a whole bunch of regular expressions and sql statements to sift through an 11mb database dump and figure out how to restore 59 thousand records to the correct state. Let's practice this transition on a staging server first and make sure we get it right
Me: I got you fam *presses the wrong button*

I hate the Android update policy as hell. Why do they have to publish a new version each year? Why not a LTS version which is supported for 5 years? Barely no manufacturer is able to change their own interface aiming to adept it to the new Android version. Windows isn't publishing a new os every year. They just update it regularly to implement new functions. Ubuntu is doing the same.
WHY THE FUCK NOT ANDROID?
My HTC A9 was the first with Android 6. I didn't get Android 7 until now?! I paid a lot of money for this peace of shit! And I was granted an update for Android 7. So where is it HTC? Where?!?!?!?!?!?!

The last communication we had was me asking you if you would like a service for that, with no response? And now, ten days later, you’d like an update on when it will be available?

Well I raised a pull request on your side a week ago, your developers have just been ignoring it.

What? No, I don’t know when it will be merged and ready.

UPDATE ON THE SCHOOL NETWORKING SITUATION:

the entire country has entered total self-isolation for 3 weeks, which means no physical school for 3 weeks. I have to suffer at home for 3 weeks.

Fun.

(save me, please. I am beyond help.)

Project: Angular 11

Package doc 2.1: For Angular 13+
Package release 2.1: For Angular 12+

Me: Well, this package solve our problem but it need Angular 12 or 13 to run, so do we go for 13 ?

Team: yep,the update is on schedule so take it and update it later.

Me: We can also go to 14 directly.
Team: No, we prefer LTS version

...some weeks later...

Team: Update to 13 complete !

Me: Yes ! Let's go !

...Install package 2.1...

... Compilation...

🚫 Angular 14 is required for version 2.1

Me: are you fu***** kidding?

Final word: please, keep a good documentation on version requirements 😁

(The package has currently a 3.x in beta to solve the 2.1 angular 14 problem because why not 🤷)

Windows update process takes half an hour. Restart pc.
A message: "updates have been installed" ...

Ffs You think I didn't notice? And why is there no more information? What exactly did you need this half hour of updating for? At least give me a changelog, or the biggest changes.

Got a job as a fresher, had no idea what work I'll have to do.

Was given the task to fix some bugs that had creeped in due to update of some UI framework.

Having absolute no idea of front end, I started the task.

Have spent the entire last week looking through CSS, HTML, Javascript.

Have come to the decision of quitting the job.

Life is too short to be lived this way.

Windows got upgraded to creators update.

Ever since it has updated, the battery life has decreased drastically, laptop used to last around 8.5 hours of daily usage, now its down to 3.

WTF, man.

I know surface has got its pro's, but shit, 5 hours of battery loss is no joke and certainly a big task to achieve.

Windows Update prompted me to install the 1809 update for Windows 10 recently.

I left the machine for a while and came back to find it frozen at a completely blank screen.

It eventually restarted...and got stuck in a continual loop where the Windows logo would flash for a second and then instantly restart again.

The restart occurred so early in the boot process that I couldn’t even get it into recovery mode or do anything with it to fix it.

So I had no choice but to reinstall Windows from scratch and reinstall and restore all my software and files. Took about 7 hours.

Not happy!

Last saturday, the CEO forced us to update one of the services that we are dependent out without any tests... The people responsible for it very much advised against it but they still did it.

Now, nearly a week later. The literal core feature is still broken with no fix in sight and rolling back is not possible apparently.

Thanks all for letting me reach 200 +1's on how much my developer life sucks 😈😈

You know what, I think the USA government just had a Windows Update, oh no wait, their versions of Windows are too old, they ain’t attacked by MS anymore.

When windows decides to force you to update when shutting down, like no problem, not like I have a fucking deadline or anything.

"I love Windows 10's unexpected critical update timings" - Said no one EVER!!!!

I am amazed. My laptop died due to lack of electricity (no battery), but Windows still managed to prepare update and forces me to install it when I turned it back on. And of course it requires multiple restarts.

How to manage updates on production as web agency

1: Update the GitHub private repo with your changes
2: Write an email to the customer sysadmin and ask to sync in staging and later production
3: Wait 2 weeks and do another ping about it
4: The sysadmin later will do that
5: In the meantime there is a security update of your CMS and a lot of plugins to update
6: Try to update from the CMS panel and there are no write permission
7: Cry a lot and write another email to go back to point 2

At last the moment of UPDATE with no WHERE came for me

Software developers be like: “Let's remove useful features that I'm sure no one will mind being revoked!”
Also software developers: “WHY, OH WHY WON'T USERS UPDATE THEIR SOFTWARE???? WHYYYYY????? :'-CCCCCC ”

!dev

Applied for passport renewal 1.5 months ago... No update yet

My friend applied for passport renewal yesterday from different state and received a message for printing in evening.

I just want to thank Windows 10. Because of 3 updates in a week I got to do almost no work, spend 4hrs understanding why I was in a recovery mode loop, and make me lose a days worth of work by hiding the only folder I stupidly left on my C drive post update.
Without this I’d actually have to do work to get paid, and that’s just gross.

Thank you apple for making my macbook not boot anymore after catalina update. By not booting, I mean no fuckin nothing happens when you press the power button. It doesnt fuckin turn on anymore.

Apple service solution: replace mainboard for fucking 800 dollar.

Do I have to expext that a simple software update fuckin bricks my notebook? Wtf who expects that??? Its a 2018 spacegray macbook, lile gooddamn brandnew.

An yeah warranty expired two weeks ago.

I wonder if they do that shit on purpose.

Handed my notice in at my current job last week. Today a project update goes round to the company that I'm leaving with everything we're working on.

We have a new client. It's the company I'm moving to.

IS THERE NO ESCAPE?!

I have used Firefox for web development since forever. The recent major update has absolutely turned my world upsidedown. 95% of my numerous, essential addons no longer working, tab groups vanished, keyboard shortcuts scuppered.

While I appreciate the moves towards speeding it up etc, it's nonetheless a goddam scandal.

I wonder if anyone else is facing similar problems. Any solutions?

Apple just changed their file system to apfs across the board, but no recent documentation on the release. It automaticalky changes from hfs+ when you install the macos 10.12.4 update. In early docs it says that time machine is not supported, but surely they cant kill everyones short term backups?

MEETINGS
Daily stand up
Weekly status
Fortnightly update
Monthly planning

Life would be so much simpler without meetings. Just chat, why fuss over "meeting"?

As it is most of the things don't go as per what's planned in the monthly planning meeting.

Neither is there much of an update in the fortnightly update meeting. Only update is what we planned, isn't the right direction.

This will obviously screw up the weekly status. Screwed up planning is dishevelled implementation.

Daily stand up is just very sleep deprived developers, who don't wanna talk.

Make it my time's worth; say no more meetings.

Dear windows.
HI! IT'S ME! ETHAN!!

Why do you take TWO FUCKING HOURS!! To install a god damn UPDATE????
Your update system makes NO DARN SENSE.

Sincerely, Ethan.

thank god, Microsoft decided not to use lignite coal for updating their OS. I was worried to update windows, it used to cause so much smog in the neighbourhood, one uncle even died because of lead poisioning.

now, I can update Windows in peace, no more pollution.

I don't generally agree with the death sentence, but maaaybe it should be allowed specifically for the person who created the current iteration of Windows Update. Just got woken up by a video playing on my computer, which happened because Windows fucking Update thought it was a good time to reboot for no reason.

TLDR; macOS wouldn’t update to the version I needed because I have a 3rd party SSD. All I needed was a firmware update only found deep within a google search and a secondary SO answer.

I have a video edit project this weekend. No big deal.

Except that the Final Cut Pro project was saved in the latest version of FCPX, for which I need latest MacOS version

As a music producer on the side, I had heard the new file system of MacOS High Sierra would possibly break audio plugins. I didn’t bother updating until now. Looked further into plugin problem, it would be simply a broken hard link which I can easily fix. No big deal.

Except that I have upgraded my MBP SSD from 256gb to this 3rd party 480gb SSD. macOS does not recognize this SSD as compatible with update. No big deal. Simple google search for a terminal command would do the trick.

Except that I found and tried several solutions, including wasting an entire hour updating the original ssd and booting from that to try to update it.

Nothing worked, but deep down in the google search, found in a secondary answer on SO, there was a link for a beta release of a firmware update for the SSD that took two minutes to install, and I was finally able to update.

That firmware update needs to be more prominent everywhere. Wasted well over 3-4 hours updating crap, swapping out SSDs, and googling when all I needed was a fucking firmware update.

Everybody is complaining about Windows 10 updates, which makes me relish having turned off Windows Update ~7 years ago on my home pc. Everything has been working with minimal pain I the ass.

Yes, I'm perfectly fine with XP 😁

Fall Creators Update did some changes to Bash on Windows, first they renamed it to WSL(Windows Subsystem for Linux) and now you can have multiple distros on it.

They also added it to Windows Server.

I have no idea why people would use Windows Server, but I guess that if you are forced to use it, you can now use Linux utilities on it, so woot? I guess.

Update on the printer problem:
It works, I have no clue why though.

I hate it when software downloads an update
and then shuffles a notification up my face saying "An update has been downloaded and ready to install".
Just WTF is wrong with these developers! What if I say no then you just successfully wasted my fucking internet data and disk space. Thank you and no thank you idiots.

Client: no, we did not update that record directly in the database...

Update syllabus with latest technologies instead of teaching some outdated language which has no practical use in the market.

Not sure if it is a rant or not but I'm getting worried about Apple... Two days passed uploaded a new update multiple times and all ended on the first try 😨
Usually it takes many tries for it to be uploaded 😨
On top of that, iTunesConnect is faster and no longer stuck at loading when token expires 😨

I hope I'm not dreaming 😅

Ever since i learned terraform i cannot go back. I cant fucking use the ui anymore. This shit is too good. 1 command to create all bullshit and 1 command to destroy all bullshit. Fantastic. Misconfigured shit? Just fix it in a file and 1 command to update it. Perfect. Need to add more shit? Add more lines and 1 command to update. Shitastic. Instead of misconfiguring bullshit or forgetting to delete some shit manually i can simply just do it all 1 command no errors

HOWEVER i noticed sometimes even terraform gets fucked up with bullshit. When im destroying my infra it infinitely says destroying. As if its stuck in that loop. No idea why. So i have to manually destroy the bullshit and then run destroy a fww more times till it works

Even seniors make mistakes. In case you were ever doubting yourself - just remember that.

I just had a very senior level programmer on my staff add a function to a production system that issues an SQL UPDATE query without a WHERE clause. Fortunately, only the 1st entry succeeded and the rest failed due to "duplicate record" errors. Clearly he had intended to do a SELECT to check if an entry was present. If it was present, do an UPDATE, otherwise do an INSERT (think UPSERT - but done manually). However instead in the insert part they were both UPDATE's. The first update was normal looking but the second UPDATE was just this weird malformed-looking thing where he tried to do an UPDATE but to every field including the key fields. Clearly he was thinking about an insert but actually writing it as an update. Every now and then I need to remind myself that these things happen. The guy's not dumb - just made a mistake.

I'm just happy it "failed unsuccessfully".

HOLY FUCKING FUCK YOU VUETIFY.

Why were you normal in v1.5 and then decided to become totally autistic in v2. The upgrade documentation is a fucking joke, and after the update everything looks like shit and the console is full of errors. There was literally no reason to rename like half of the components other than giving me several days of work.

FUCK YOU!

One of the devs on my team hates our PM. last week during standup while the pm was giving his update, he started clipping his nails and proceeded to do so until the guy finished. I almost died trying not to laugh. No one said anything.

I know Windows update rants are a dime a dozen but HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MICROSUCKADICK BOOT LICKERS SHOVE SO MUCH HORSESHIT INTO THIS UPDATE THAT IT UNINSTALLED VIRTUALBOX? The hell?

Really, I rebooted my PC, short cuts everything, gone! Newer stuff is there plus any restore point would have had VirtualBox installed, so what the hell.

I’m stating to think that when Windows says “all your files are exactly where you left them” it’s a best guess because it just completely fucked with all your files for no reason and tried to put them back but it’s not so sure.

So for those of you that remember my fax machine post I have an update!

We where still getting people calling up and making the fax machine ring but Amazon delivered a new fax machine today and it seems to all be working now, no more ringing fax machine!!!

Earlier today I spend 3 hours that included a nap and cleaning the house to try to clear my head and figure out why my Unity multiplayer code wasn't translating properly to local. Turns out a certain function has no problem existing in update in multiplayer but wants to be in fixedupdate in local... Productive day.

Customer complains about an issue after a software update. The head of department himself tested the update and got an error message.

Me looking at the logs. Ok, that's an issue, but based on hardware failure, customer should fix his hardware, no relation to the new software.
But surprisingly close to the software update, which piques my curiosity.

Me looking at older logs ... same issue. EVERY FUCKING DAY. For months. The corresponding error message only appears if a user is logged on, so quite a few people have seen it. Obviously nobody cared. Maybe we just ditch error messages, it'll save lots of work.