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Me: *Puts on headphones*
5 minutes later
College: Hey man you busy?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: I am, but what's the issue?
Help him, Put headphones back on.
5 minutes later
Intern: I need help
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Fine, I've got time
Help her, Put headphones back on.
Beginning to feel a little pissed.
5 minutes later
PM: Can i get your help quickly?
Me: Can i finish this quickly?
PM: It won't take long
Me: Fine.
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Help her out, put headphones back on.
An hour later
Team Leader: Are you done yet?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Almost
Team Leader: How can you not be done yet?
Me: Ask everyone around you?
He bitches for about 30 minutes.
I decide not to put my headphones on and just float in the river of how pissed i am.
4 Fucken hours goes by, nobody wants jack shit.
Me: *Puts headphones on*
5 minutes later
Team Leader: Hey man can you help me out?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Sure Fine.
FUCK!!! EVERY! FUCKEN TIME!!!30 -
idk why people keep saying Chrome hogs up all the memory
i have 16gb of RAM and it just takes 14gb11 -
I actually lent a girl an umbrella yesterday which takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.12
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She: I like people who takes risks.
He : I develop in a prod server.
She: My place or you place? 😉3 -
How long will it take?
Me: 45mins
...5 hours later
I thought you said 45 minutes
Me: Yeah. 45 minutes from now.3 -
FUCK OFF WINDOWS. I NEED TO WORK BECAUSE MY DEADLINE IS COMING BUT NO, THE FUCKING WINDOWS DECIDED TO FUCKING UPDATE. I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE RIGHT NOW, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SOFTWARE. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 1 HOUR TO GET TO 35%. 🖕🖕🖕🖕
28 -
"I hate C# and Java because compiling takes forever. That's why I use JavaScript."
npm install && gulp
...9 years later...13 -
WTF your function takes in 12 parameters!!! Then it checks one and pass the rest to another function!!12
-
Q: Why always when Dora asks a question, it takes a while until she answers back?
A: Because she's an "Explorer"...
4 -
So this chick has been super nice to me for the past few months, and has been trying to push me towards a role in security. She said nothing but wonderful things about it. It’s easy, it’s not much work, it’s relaxing, etc.
I eventually decided I’m burned out enough that something, anything different would be good, and went for it. I’m now officially doing both dev and security. The day I started, she announced that she was leaving the security team and wouldn’t join any other calls. Just flat-out left.
She trained me on doing a security review of this release, which basically amounted to a zoom call where I did all of the work and she directed me on what to do next, ignored everything I said, and treated me like an idiot. It’s apparently an easy release. The work itself? Not difficult, but it’s very involved, very time consuming, and requires a lot of paper trail — copying the same crap to three different places, tagging lots of people, copying their responses and pasting them elsewhere, filing tickets, linking tickets, copying info back and forth to slack, signing off on things, tagging tickets in a specific way, writing up security notes in a very specific format etc. etc. etc. It’s apparently usually very hectic with lots of last-minute changes, devs who simply ignore security requests, etc.
I asked her at the end for a quick writeup because I’m not going to remember everything and we didn’t cover everything that might happen.
Her response: Just remember what you did here, and do it again!
I asked again for her to write up some notes. She said “I would recommend.. you watch the new release’s channel starting Thursday, and then review what we did here, and just do all that again. Oh, and if you have any questions, talk to <security boss> so you get in the habit of asking him instead of me. Okay, bye!”
Fucking what.
No handoff doc?
Not willing to answer questions after a day and a half of training?
A recap
• She was friendly.
• She pushed me towards security.
• She said the security role was easy and laid-back.
• I eventually accepted.
• She quit the same day.
• The “easy release” took a day and a half of work with her watching, and it has a two-day deadline.
• She treated (and still treats) me like a burden and ignores everything I said or asked.
• The work is anything but laid-back.
• She refuses to spend any extra time on this or write up any notes.
• She refuses to answer any further questions because (quote) “I should get in the habit of asking <security boss> instead of her”
So she smiled, lied, and stabbed me in the back. Now she’s treating me like an annoyance she just wants to go away.
I get that she’s burned out from this, but still, what a fucking bitch. I almost can’t believe she’s acting this way, but I’ve grown to expect it from everyone.
But hey, at least I’m doing something different now, which is what I wanted. The speed at which she showed her true colors, though, holy shit.
“I’m more of a personal motivator than anything,” she says, “and I’m first and foremost a supporter of women developers!” Exactly wrong, every single word of it.
God I hate people like this.20 -
Fuck China.
Fuck the U.S. government.
Fuck the UK and Australia and all the other governments for taking advantage of the crisis of the last two years to get more power and money for their elites.
Fuck them all for starting COVID with their unsanctioned and unethical “gain of function” lab experiments and creating so much chaos that nobody really has a chance anymore at living the life they had dreamed of or so carefully planned for.
Fuck them for the out of control spending and money printing and inflation and even messing around with trying to regulate and tax crypto so we don’t have any kind of escape valve to live a normal, happy life.
Because of them, I can’t even enjoy my time off work. Even if I could plan a vacation that wouldn’t have to be canceled due to an outbreak or resultant supply chain issues, I can’t travel without severe restrictions that make it miserable and not worth the trouble.
Fuck them for making everyone into stupid monkeys fighting over opinions about data that is incomplete, misunderstood, misrepresented, or downright fixed toward a specific pharma-fascist authoritarian outcome.
And fuck them especially for being hypocrites and going to parties and generally not following their own rules they made for us when they think we’re not watching, and then persecuting and prosecuting us when we dare do the same.
Fuck ‘em all. I’m so done.20 -
Optimized a query today. Before it timed out after 10 minutes, now it takes 4.3 seconds. Very proud.13
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Wow?!? Even removing this crap takes fucking centuries!
I'm already sitting here for 45 minutes. How the fuck is this possible?!!
25 -
When your girlfriend takes notes for you over the phone so you don't forget it before you get home.
6 -
The face you make when you're daughter takes your squishy ball and you're forced to make a devRant football instead.
8 -
my boss bought iphone 7 for testing...inserted his sim card and takes phone with him self all time...2
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Sometimes the best solution is the simplest
But sometimes it takes 20 hours of debugging to figure that out
😧1 -
I hate people who think that building software is all about one click away and generating things. I got told to complete the task faster than the speed of light.
Fancy me some rant time? Let's name that cunt, "Bob".
"
Hey Bob, I got questions for you. Are you sure you were in your mum's womb for 8-9 months? Are you the kind of twat who honk at people as soon as the traffic light's turning green?
Building software takes time, the CI/CD takes time, TestFlight takes time, approvals from the Google Play store take time, approvals from Apple App Store connect take time, Unit testing takes time and every fucking thing you can name takes time!
It's just like sex, nobody wants to be with someone who can only last in bed for 0.000000000001 nanoseconds, the longer, the better, (but not too long).
It is also like building houses, which takes months to build not hours. As from my experience so far, something tells me that you are not the kind of person who would understand how to build a house but a sand castle which takes only hours to build.
Relentlessly, you bombarded me with a pile of bollocks and a pile of nonsense is not going to fasten up the compilation of the software.
"4 -
Vive la France!
France takes legal action against Apple and Google for their app stores
https://techcrunch.com/2018/03/...
4 -
It would appear that having the same application open for 14 hours a day everyday takes its toll on your monitor.
11 -
Tfw when removing this 9gb trash of software takes longer than reinstalling entire operating system from start..
5 -
*Goes hiking in the woods* *Finds Bigfoot asleep* *Slowly takes out phone* *Turns it on* *Checks DevRant for rates*5
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Biggest distraction: finding the right playlist on Spotify to code on. (The search takes all the while)3
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I replaced a python/mysql daily process that takes 25 minutes to run with a perl/redis process that takes 1 minute to run, so it runs multiple times a day. Mgmt asks me to convert it to python/mysql, "...but keep the run time at one minute. That's great!"
No.4 -
Installing all the needed Latex dependencies on linux takes maybe 15 seconds, on windows I need 5GB of space and it takes forever to install.49
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Programing
Can make something, out of nothing. All it takes is a little creativity...
... and 4 cups of coffee.10 -
My special edition $130 mouse finally arrived. It takes it's place as the most pretencious thing I own
20 -
It takes me longer to write a cover letter than it would to write an app that generates customized cover letters.4
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I understimate always how long tasks takes. Because of the fear that it is expected to be done quick.
I should unlearn that. And learn to communicate the time it really takes: at least doubble the amount of time of what you're thinking it takes.4 -
I HATE TESTING DB MIGRATIONS! SHIT TAKES BLOODY FOREVER!
This one takes 20 freaking minutes each attempt, and I need to run it. yet again.
$@%&!10 -
# Showing code so everyone knows it's the same code/file being executed.
Interesting in the difference of the time it takes.
8 -
*Makes a small change in Webpack generator for Eclipse Theia*
*Takes 10 minutes to complete all tests*
*PR*
*Travis CI builds*
*Takes 30+ minutes*
Uh, Travis, you okay?
-
In the next 40 years devRant will be non-existential because developers wont be there anymore, you know why?
AI takes over the world.. writes its own code and build new products.
Suck it.
Signing off
- Elon Musk
(personally, I love this guy)22 -
That moment when you try showing an issue to your senior developer and gradle takes forever to build.
Clicks build...
Goes to get coffee.
Takes a sip.
*1500 sips later*
Gradle build still running...2 -
A girl takes less time in getting ready as compared to windows 10😂😂😂
#WeekendHumour
#myOriginaldontCopy😏
11 -
This is What which happens when client appreciate your efforts but your manager takes them all in his account. 😑
1 -
Takes forever. Finally completed the build. Got the cooler from newegg, which shipped from Taiwan.
12 -
Is this seriously the devRant website? It has an advertisement for the mobile app that takes up 60% of the screen?!?!
21 -
When configuring a digitalocean server and install shit loads of dependencies takes less time than npm install .....4
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I'm not an expert but if you site takes 5 seconds to navigate a step BACKWARDS, consider it inefficient af.1
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"How long it takes to complete a task"
A slightly exaggerated illustration of why I enjoy coding alone ^^
2 -
Dear Apple: FIX YOUR FUCKED UP IDE!
Generating IPA file takes ages, freezes the shit out of the mac and to make it even worse a full clean -> build -> Generate Signed APK on slow ass gradle takes barely 5 minutes while XCode takes ages9 -
The Universal Windows Platform is really efficient. Visualizing a 13MB database literally takes 750MB of RAM. Thanks Microsoft❤
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Started to learn nodejs REST, with mongodb, either the service is too light (still only has login) or mongodb is too fast, I've never seen that speed in fetching a single user with 6 properties in its json response, it takes 15ms on my laptop when a dot net core service + MySQL takes at least 70ms6
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I'm really enjoying rust now. It was worth the struggles.
I was really surprised to see, a NodeJS server takes around 40-60MB of memory whereas Rust (Actix web) server takes around 500KB-2MB :O whoa! Awesome!3 -
Client asked how long it takes to build a website. As if everything takes the exact same amount of time.1
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When you're trying to publish your first Cordova app and the PlayStore release including signatures and stuff takes you 2.5 hours, while the AppStore release takes you 5 days (including getting a huge Mac on your desk, signing up a D.U.N.S. for your company, figuring out the signing/provisioning process and fixing CSS/JS exclusively for iOS).4
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Writing the first 90 percent of a computer program takes 90 percent of the time. The remaining 10 percent also takes 90 percent of the time and the final touches also take 90 percent of the time.
(。>︿<)_θ2 -
I think my hard drive is going to die.
My laptop takes 15 minutes to start up and it takes a fucking long time to open any program but once they're opened they run pretty well... And it does since two weeks ago!
This is a hdd related problem, isn't it?13 -
Craft CMS deployment on shared server, PHP5, Apache takes 10 - 30 seconds to load.
Craft CMS deployment on virtual shared server, PHP7, Nginx takes 1 - 2 seconds to load.
1 -
scar tissue riff by red hot chili peppers now helped me get laid twice. first was in high school, second was yesterday. it works like a fast track first class level skip access to that pussy
going without it takes days
with it takes minutes6 -
i don't know about you...but each time Devrant takes longer to load i see a weenie with 2 small balls
4 -
In all development first 90% takes half the time and last 10% takes the other half. Jeez almost done wait for it
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The moment when a job application process that usually takes 3 weeks, is ongoing for months thanks to COVID16
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Fucking Xcode takes a hundred flipping minutes to archive a build and 69 years to export it, on my shitty MacBook.2
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All it takes is one jackass somewhere in the world with no understanding of character encoding to ruin things for everyone else.
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I'm no Nodejs expert but can someone explain how in the fucking world is node_modules folder is that HUGE! on my slow ass internet it takes couple of mins to pull the repo and five mins to finish npm install! and takes so much ram to build a freaking docker container for my react website when it takes barely 300MB to build both MySQL and Asp.Net Core dockers T_T7
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Is there anyone else who works at a company that takes longer to plan sprints than the actual sprints?2
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Updating Oxygen OS....
1. WARNING: You will lose root.... OK
2. Fastboot TWRP
3, Install TWRP
4. Flash Magisk
5. Restart
6. Reinstall xposed from Magisk Installer
7. Restart
10. Re-enable Gravitybox in xposed
11. Restart
All done... did i do something wrong?7 -
The time to write an essay about programming in fucking LaTeX for the first time takes too fucking long!14
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It takes ages to get visual studio with all required tools to generate windows build of an ionic project. Windows for dev(atleast for mobile web) is not at all smooth.
Hate Visual studio..... Load project takes its own time. Build takes ....never mind.
3 -
Why is it always the setup that takes time, and not the actual programming, when doing projects...7
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Anyone else find dropbox to be a massive CPU hog?
Generally takes like 20-40 percent when syncing...3 -
I hate when build takes forever to complete and all my enthusiasm drains out.
The main reason I am not being productive. -
When managers ask you to complete some code in an hour and it takes them 5 hours to approve the merge.
-
I hate when some program crashes and he takes the Windows whit him. It's like: "You come whit me b****!"
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PHP is such an absolute shit.
`array_map` takes function first param, array second param
`array_walk`, which is similar for associate arrays, takes array first param, function second param
and at the same time, the function of `array_walk` takes parameters in `value, key` order
what the crazy fuck this is.2 -
How the hell does a query that usually takes ~500ms to run now magically takes 2.5h! What changed in 30mins URGHH9
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Love it when you have a SQL query that takes 6.3 seconds (which includes processing time) to execute, and you managed to convert to a process that takes just 0.072 to complete1
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when the setup of programming environment takes more effort than the code.
and you're like fuck it i'll do it online!7 -
working against a database over a bugged VPN connection, which gives you periodically timeouts, after the request takes 15 minutes 😑
-
AMQ cluster is misbehaving.. Master is constantly dying, slave is starting under root rather than app account, connection to AMQ DB takes 20-40 seconds (while queries execute in <0.1sec and TCP probe takes <0.01sec to succeed), monitoring is down,...
I mean it's gotta be the virus - what else could it be.2 -
You had that moment when you agree with someone and given a ++ because it takes less space in DB than comment?
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This is really annoying. My single manual test takes 10 minutes to run. Can't blame the task because its big, can't blame me, code optimization is not necessary and won't speed anything up. So here writing a rant waiting for it to finish1
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Starting to code before making the wireframe or the design.
So i am basically blind coding
Wherever the wind takes me! -
I hate windows, it f**king takes 10000 minutes to load microsoft edge browser on a newly bought laptop .21
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When updating nuget packages takes longer than cloning, configuring and compiling the Linux kernel...
while(true)
bang(head, table);3 -
Boss always asks how long it will takes to fix a production bug. I just say 2 hours no matter what.1
-
It takes a lot of stamina to integrate frontend with backend all day long.
I wish I were younger...1 -
Getting predictable... Deadline day and developer takes day off sick. Or day before deadline developer takes day off sick. Leaving it all to everyone else to clean up their mess... Same people every time...1
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When your computer illiterate supervisor takes the credit for how great your development and delivery strategy is.
-
The time it takes to develop a feature is the square root of the time it takes explaining it to the PM1
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"It takes A and B and C and X and ... to make this work on Windows"
What? Nooo really? Making Linux tools work on Windows takes more effort than on Linux? And it must totally be Windows' fault, right?
Pull your head out of the ass already. Running Windows tools on Linux takes just as much effort and just as many extra steps, and the same goes whenever you try to run any software on a system it wasn't made for.18 -
Building. Building C++ takes so damn long. Accidentally checked out a wrong branch? Well there goes 20 mins.
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Well fuck you too windows, my disk is where it is suposed to be, even though the controller is broken. Even linux can still find it. Although it takes a while to load the actual transfer. Recovery of terrabites takes ages
4 -
When you are working together on the same computer and the other person takes/gets all the credit because of "GitHub"...1
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The TRUSTe / TrustArc cookiewall is a bitch! My ass it takes over a minute to update my cookie policy... 😡
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When you're done with your WordPress site but still gotta upload it via FTP and it literally takes up your entire day.4
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Netbeans, it looks ancient, is slow, and takes 100000m clicks to get anything done, and also has useless silly snippets
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So today, I have to clean the project, republish, clean Tomcat's directory, recompile.
That takes forever omg -
Currently working on an assignement that is worth 10% of my semester.
Takes around 40hr to complete...2 -
How fast is vscode in Linux? I'm irritated with time it takes to start my complete dev environment in windows.?
nodejs + mongodb + vscode + chrome + studio3t
So you see I've to start 2 electron based apps and chrome. Node js takes its fare time to start the first script.27 -
tfw a company jvm takes 10 minutes to start because it is bloated with shared libraries it doesn't need.
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Its fixed. Your welcome.
Don’t ask me to do something and then complain because it takes too long and then redirect me on six other tickets.
I am a tank that will crush problems no matter how long it takes and still do your other six tickets. -
In my current role, it takes 10 min to build and test a backend change. Front-end dev server is also painfully slow. It sometimes takes minutes for angular dev server to upload changes.
What am I supposed to do during these scattered idle time. Everything seems painfully slow1 -
Some people think building a clone of tinder takes a weekend. Good luck with that dumpster fire of an app5
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