*Mom shows me laptop ad of 3000 bucks with the most overkill specs ever*

Mom: "Son, will this laptop run Google?"

Me: "Do you want to surf Google or actually run Google's server?"

Mom: *looks confused*

"I also want to use Fesabook on it"

Me: *brings her a 5 year old laptop with a new ssd in it*

*has an old i3, 8gb ram and no gpu*

Mom: "This laptop is super fast! Thanks son!"

*One hour later*

*Mom calls*

"Son, I think the laptop broke"

Me: "What? What happened?"

Mom: "I pressed a button and now all the keys are lighting red" (backlit keyboard)

Me: "You can choose the color of your keyboard mom"

Mom: "Ooh! How do I make it pink?"

Me: "You can only choose between red and blue..."

Mom: "What a ripoff"

*Hangs up the phone*

*at my study a year or longer ago*

Classmate: hey linuxxx, could you come take a look? What is this? *points at screen towards some code*
Me: you don't see it?!
Cm: no...?!
Me: you really don't see it?!
Cm: no!!?
Me: no for real, do you *REALLY* not see it?!
Cm: NO! TELL ME ALREADY!
Me: that's a screen 😊
Cm: 😑😠

😅

Me, a junior dev: * reports an important issue and a possible fix *

Senior dev 1: nah, it'll do just fine.

Senior dev 2: that won't be an issue, don't you see? It's under control, man.

Senior 3: why are you even here? Why are you even talking?

Manager: yeah, what could possibly go wrong?

* a year after releasing the product, one of the seniors got fired and another one was hired *

New senior: this thing is bananas, code is inconsistent and there's memory leaks everywhere, how does that even work?

Me: nobody believed me when I said that.

Manager: it did work very well, where's the issue?

Me: it's everywhere, goddammit! Don't you see?

New senior: junior dev is right.

Me: I've been a WHOLE YEAR saying that!

Manager: did you? Really? Nah, you didn't.

...

I'm tired of this shit.

*came in this morning to see this conversation in slack from the remote teams*

Dev: Hey guys, I'm trying to push to the develop branch, telling me its locked. Is there a new process?

Lead dev: Yes I locked it because the repo is now dead, the last release that went out is the last for this year and ever for this app. Were merging this app with another, starting from the last release's code. We'll all have to swap over to the new repo soon.

Dev: ... eh ok I didn't put anything in the last release branch as it wasn't urgent. Normally our process is anything in /develop goes out in the new year. I've been merging to /develop for the last few weeks ... is that code now gone?
*14 question mark emoji reactions*

Lead dev: Yes
*27 angry emoji reactions*

Engineering manager: WHAT? when was this decided? When was it communicated?

Lead dev: oh I assumed my product counterpart had been spreading the messages around, have they not?

Several teams: no, nope, first i'm hearing of it.

Lead dev: Ok, i'll ask them what happened. Be aware then that most of the stuff thats going into develop now, most likely won't be allowed in until March. They want to prioritise releasing this new merged app and don't want anything to impact it.

Dev: So wait, i'm working on stuff now. What do I do? Where do I base the branch? Where do I merge?

<no response>

*My team comes into the office*

Dev: eeehhh ... what does this mean for our past 4 weeks of work? and all the stuff needed to go out in January?

Me: not.a.fucking.clue

I was newly hired to company. A customer came in yelling saying "there's a bug, this should do this but it's doing that..."
PM came to me and told me to "urgently fix this as this is an important customer".

So I started debugging for hours and asking around and all follow devs agreed that this is a bug. Then I found it!! And it was clear that it was not doing what the customer wanted.

I decided to look through this code history and found out that this part of the code wasn't changed for a year but the code commited before it did actually what the customer was expecting (whaaaa....)

Gathered the devs and the PM showing them what I found. They all looked at each other and then one said "ouuhhh right...yes it was doing this but we changed it to that..."

Turns out it's a feature not a bug, and everyone forgot about it.

FML

Colleague: "What is a pl file?"

Me: "Oh thats a perl script"

Colleague: "So how do I edit it?"

Me: "Just break out emacs and modify that perl script lol"

Colleague: " *Triggered* did you just assume my text editor preference"

Me:" -_- what year is this ??"

GUESS WHAT? HE WANTS ANOTHER FUCKING FEATURE!

AND WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T HAVE TIME BECAUSE CODE-COMPLETE IS TOMORROW, HE SAID HE’LL PUNT IT TO NEXT YEAR INSTEAD OF RELEASING IT THIS WEEK SO I CAN “BUILD IT RIGHT.” MAN, FUCK YOU AND YOUR ENDLESS CHANGES!

THIS WAS GOING TO BE A TWO WEEK TICKET UNTIL HE STARTED ADDING ENDLESS FEATURES AND CHANGES AND SURPRISES. IT’S BEEN FUCKING MONTHS! I AM SICK OF THIS SHIT!

ANSDFKAWHOALIKWEGJFADIO;UGJT;

There goes my Q4 performance review.
> “Accomplishments? Oh, there’s lots of room here. Accomplished: Basically nothing. How embarrassing.”

Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate

Me on the train. A fucking 12 year old kid, fanboy of the iPhone X.
1. He calls it "X" (the letter). I bet he doesn't even know that it is a 10.
2. "it has only one port so you can use Bluetooth headphones". He seems like he is amazed by that. Like wtf? Guess what motherfucker you can use Bluetooth headphones even if you have a dedicated headphone jack.
3. "it has wireless charging"... Oh would you please fuck yourself you fucking donkey.
4. "it is so thin. Not like those other phones". So can somebody kick this guy or I will do it myself...

Sry gone full AlexDeLarge here...

I'm a lawyer, like a year ago I was home alone (wife and kid went on the trip) and from boringness, I decided that I should learn to program (was thinking about that earlier because of some ideas for apps I had - I was fucking naive then :P).

So I start googling best way to do it and I decided to start CS50 course on edx. And that was a real blast for. Best learning experience ever happened in my life.

Anyway, I was going through CS50 curriculum (at the start I thought I will quit it after few weeks) and every day was like so exciting. This whole programming thing seems like the best thing happens to me in many years. There were so many interesting things to learn, I felt like I discovered whole new word.

So after few months while I was finishing CS50, one day I decided, fuck it, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life (I'm 35+ btw ;)). I chose frontend path as it seems easier for a person without technical education. If everything goes as planned I will start looking for a job at beginning of next year. So where I the rant you could ask?

Well, you should guest what my family thinks about it. My wife was like at first: I'm proud you learning something new, now she hates it, making fights about me always sitting in front of computer (which is not true as I learn most in work in my spare time - I can do it as I work on my own), she even told my parents that I cheat her because she started family with a lawyer, not a programmer (supposed to be joke, but really not fun for me) . WTF - where is the fucking support ? ehhh. My parents on the other side still don't believe I will do it (after more than a year of my learning) and they still think I will quit the idea in the end....

So thats it my rant about what my familly thinks about me become programmer.

(sry for my English)

I'll get to my four words in a sec, but let me set the background first.

This morning, at breakfast, I fired up my trusty laptop only to get a fan failure warning.

Finally, after the three year old is asleep tonight, I'm able to start dismantling the case to get to the fan. I'm hoping it just needs cleaned out.

Hard drive, memory, and keyboard spread out over the kitchen table. I'm not even halfway done.

Guess what? Now I'm one of the lucky 3500 people to have a power outage at 9 pm. Estimated restore time: 2 am.

Sigh.

"All those tiny screws"

And a three year old in the house...

Today after 1 year of taking shit I sat down with my manager and completely tore the whole fucking company apart.

I absolutely slammed my colleagues, obliterated my team lead, went on and on about how no one understands the basics and how everything we have is copy paste procedural code and the only way to fix what we have is to delete it. I then insinuated I want to quit because I cba with the struggle anymore.

Result? Fat promotion. Not sure what just happened here lmao.

Client comes to me after a year to publish an update to his app.

I accept, start looking for my release key.... Found it.

Fuuuuuuucccck what's the password? I can't remember

Googled what to do if forgot password of keystore: Nope can't do shit other than brute Force. You've to forget your app and publish as a new app. Nice.

I must have written it somewhere... I'm sure. Check my password manager: Nope.

Start brute forcing:
Default pass: android. Nope
Name of app? Nope

After 10 mins of brute forcing:
Why would I not store the password in my password manager? The only reason I can think is the password is too stupid to be stored.

Try "password". App signed successfully.

I'm ashamed of 1 year older me xD

I just quit my job!
The company I worked for is a small company founded in Jan of this year and I was there since the early days but wasn't a founder nor a partner.
It was me who decided on which tech stack we should use, which languages, what servers to use, best practices and almost anything related to development. I was the lead developer and project manager for the biggest project they had.
But they decided that I don't deserve to be a partner. I was making more than 50,000 SDG per month for the company but only paid 6,000. The worst thing is that the partners don't know shit about software development. They have no vision for where should the company be in the future.
I just had enough. I already had my own software dev business before joining them, and it was successful.
I am going back to building my own company with my own vision.
I know I made the right decision, but it still hurts leaving a company after u made it what it is today. It is like your own baby and you are abandoning it.
Hopefully, it is for the best.

Fuck yeah.

Last year our government voted out new mass surveillance law through like it was nothing AND with a huge amount of votes in favor and hardly any against. (remember that the government is *supposed* to represent the people of the country)

A few students made a referendum happen, 48 percent of our people came to vote for this.

The first exit poll results are about 50/50!

I'm happy as fuck, damn!

Sorry for this slightly political posts and if this entirely violates all terms, I'll remove it. I thought this fits, though, because of what this new law.

The stupid stories of how I was able to break my schools network just to get better internet, as well as more ridiculous fun. XD

1st year:
It was my freshman year in college. The internet sucked really, really, really badly! Too many people were clearly using it. I had to find another way to remedy this. Upon some further research through Google I found out that one can in fact turn their computer into a router. Now what’s interesting about this network is that it only works with computers by downloading the necessary software that this network provides for you. Some weird software that actually looks through your computer and makes sure it’s ok to be added to the network. Unfortunately, routers can’t download and install that software, thus no internet… but a PC that can be changed into a router itself is a different story. I found that I can download the software check the PC and then turn on my Router feature. Viola, personal fast internet connected directly into the wall. No more sharing a single shitty router!

2nd year:
This was about the year when bitcoin mining was becoming a thing, and everyone was in on it. My shitty computer couldn’t possibly pull off mining for bitcoins. I needed something faster. How I found out that I could use my schools servers was merely an accident.
I had been installing the software on every possible PC I owned, but alas all my PC’s were just not fast enough. I decided to try it on the RDS server. It worked; the command window was pumping out coins! What I came to find out was that the RDS server had 36 cores. This thing was a beast! And it made sense that it could actually pull off mining for bitcoins. A couple nights later I signed in remotely to the RDS server. I created a macro that would continuously move my mouse around in the Remote desktop screen to keep my session alive at all times, and then I’d start my bitcoin mining operation. The following morning I wake up and my session was gone. How sad I thought. I quickly try to remote back in to see what I had collected. “Error, could not connect”. Weird… this usually never happens, maybe I did the remoting wrong. I went to my schools website to do some research on my remoting problem. It was down. In fact, everything was down… I come to find out that I had accidentally shut down the schools network because of my mining operation. I wasn’t found out, but I haven’t done any mining since then.

3rd year:
As an engineering student I found out that all engineering students get access to the school’s VPN. Cool, it is technically used to get around some wonky issues with remoting into the RDS servers. What I come to find out, after messing around with it frequently, is that I can actually use the VPN against the screwed up security on the network. Remember, how I told you that a program has to be downloaded and then one can be accepted into the network? Well, I was able to bypass all of that, simply by using the school’s VPN against itself… How dense does one have to be to not have patched that one?

4th year:
It was another programming day, and I needed access to my phones memory. Using some specially made apps I could easily connect to my phone from my computer and continue my work. But what I found out was that I could in fact travel around in the network. I discovered that I can, in fact, access my phone through the network from anywhere. What resulted was the discovery that the network scales the entirety of the school. I discovered that if I left my phone down in the engineering building and then went north to the biology building, I could still continue to access it. This seems like a very fatal flaw. My idea is to hook up a webcam to a robot and remotely controlling it from the RDS servers and having this little robot go to my classes for me.

What crazy shit have you done at your University?

Just saw Time magazine's cover
Person of the year 2019: Greta Thunberg

What the fuck did she do to deserve that????

It's time someone acknowledge a developer/techie as a person of the year.

There was automation, spaceX and many more advancement in the field of technology. Why does it feel like technology is always taken for granted.

Not to sound to sexist with that comment. But, living in Sweden (one of the most developed country) and telling the world leaders go fuck themselves is not an achievement.

Always deliver the goods.

Even if who you work for are idiots, and the product is useless. You never know who will see what you've done.

- I did a six-month underpaid project for ShittyCompany.

- Strived to write it nice and clean with unit tests and good(barely) documentation.

- Got a call up a year later from a consultancy company who integrated with the application I wrote. Now I work for them, and it's as close to my dream job as I could hope for.

Buddy from dept I was in 4 years ago: Check your email.
Me: OK
10 mins later
Buddy: Can you join a webex now?
Me: No
Buddy: OK, I'll forward the details, join when you can.
Me: Could you give me a little context?
Buddy: You helped them pull a cert off a USB stick in Switzerland last year (I'm in US).
Me: Don't think I did.

When I get a chance to read email chain, half of it is in German (I don't read it). Have not idea what this is about, but there seems to be a newer one that says it was resolved.

Me to Buddy: Looks like it was resolved.
Buddy: Yes, but they're still mad at you.
Me: Why?
Buddy: Because you wrote that app and it's hard to update the certs.
Me: I wrote that app as a favor, the dev they hired spent 6 months rewriting 3 SQL queries before being fired.
Buddy: LOL, well I guess they don't like the cert part.
Me: OK, but when I turned it over to them it didn't have a cert at all, I have no idea what the feature is.
Buddy: They said you help them last year.
Me: I didn't.
Buddy: Well they still think it's all your fault.

No need of comments!

My boss (non IT background) : Our contract with X company says the website must be web 2.0 compliant.

Me : What year is it!!

I was stuck in a conference call about fax machines, for an hour.

What year is it?

Just wow. I am amazed by what just happened.

A year ago my parents decided to switch from desktop to laptop for convenience. Knowing their needs, i bought them one without an OS and installed Ubuntu 16.04 on it. The thing is that if you do a regular maintenance of the laptop once a year at their partner company, you get additional 4 years of warranty (this offer is amazing).

So today was the day I brought the laptop for this maintenance for the first time. They make you a profile on their support website where you can track shit regarding your device, super convenient. First thing I notice that the login page was not https. Awkward, but there is no sensitive data here so i let it pass. Naturally i forgot my password, so I requested a new one and guess what? I recieved it in plaintext via mail. A tech repair oriented company does this, my god.

I went there, gave them the laptop in question and got a piece of paper, where they wrote that the laptop is in their hands now, and the current physical state of the laptop, and blabla.

I got home and I read what the guy wrote among other things: THE OPERATING SYSTEM IS NOT LEGAL.

How the fuck is Ubuntu not legal??? What the fuck is this shit? I sure as hell didn't torrent it or bought a booteged copy on the streets.

Reasons I hate the US

1. It's fucking 2 in the morning there and folks are checking their Slack when they wake up for pee breaks or done after their sex sessions.

Nearly 90% of the team is on and off checking Slack.

2. Culture fucks have only 10 holidays and hence they align rest of the world to their calendar and only give 10 holidays. India, Europe, and entire world can easily get 15 holidays per year outside their leave quota.

What a cluster fuck of a country it is.

Happened half a year ago (parents both use Linux although they're very a-techie).

*Dads laptop comes back from store after a repair*
Dad: (on the phone) hello son, could you help me out? they put some weird stuff on my laptop at the repair centre...
Me: Weird stuff? like what?
Dad: It's a virus I think
Me: A virus??
Dad: Definitely a virus!
Me: And what is this virus called?
Dad: Windows 10!
Me: Oh yes coming over asap to get that removed!

I put elementary OS on it again when i went to visit my parents.

After a 4 year CS college completed and 3 years of java experience I have found the biggest challenge of my life when my gf asked me to teach her programming. After explaining 10 times what a class and an object is , I started to understand how frustrating is for a teacher with a shitty pay to teach an know-it-all dumb fuck to write a hello world after 2 years of college.

Going through Master Card API docs to see how to integrate it, saw that they have sample code, checked Java sample code and found this:

String data = MessageFormat.format(
"'{'\"apiOperation\":{0},"
+ "\"sourceOfFunds\":'{'\"type\":{1},\"provided\":'{'\"card\":'{'\"numbe\":{2},"
+ "\"expiry\":'{'\"month\":{3}, \"year\":{4}'}',\"securityCode\":{5}'}}}',"
+ "\"order\":'{'\"reference\":{6}'}',"
+ "\"transaction\":'{'\"amount\":{7},\"currency\":{8},\"reference\":{9},\"targetTransactionId\":{10}'}'," + "\"customer\":'{'\"ipAddress\":{11}'}}'",
apiOperation,
sourceOfFundsType,
cardNumber,
cardExpiryMonth,
cardExpiryYear,
cardSecurityCode,
orderReference,
transactionAmount,
transactionCurrency,
transactionReference,
targetTransactionId,
customerIpAddress );

FOR FUCK SAKE what happened to JSONObject (for Android) class, I'm sure it is a waaaay better solution than that mess ...
And from Oracle:
JsonObject value = Json.createObjectBuilder()
.add("firstName", "John")
.add("lastName", "Smith")
.add("age", 25)
.build();

I guess that is a cleaner understandable solution than what master card has.

So this happened about a year ago. I was going bowling with some friends that day. My brother was invited, but he needed to finish a couple of programs for a MATLAB class.

So I drive my friends to the bowling place, then head to where my bro is saying. Once there my brother starts going over the program, he tells me what it's supposed to do and such. I follow along and I'm thinking "yup, this makes sense". That's when he tells me "The logic is fine, but look at what happens when I run it".

The program works fine...

We just stare at the screen, then at each other. "Your welcome" I tell him with a grin.

We want to improve the portal by making apps for it what can you do or recommend?

Well holy shit this is new you're actually asking the dev team for advice on a future project.

Normally you immediately go to a third party waste a shit ton of money and then tell us we have a week to add whatever it is into our system.

Then when we can't do it or have to delay other projects you're dragging our manager into a meeting with the CEO complaining that IT are refusing to cooperate or are holding up the project etc.

The change of heart is much appreciated but where the fuck did this come from? New year resolution?

The year is 2218. Machines have taken over the world. A small pocket of resistance fights back against them. And in their darkest hour, Windows, which hasn’t been updated in over a century, still won’t tell their strategists what program is keeping the USB drive with their plans open. They don’t want to unplug the drive as that could damage the files.

While they’re trying to figure it out, the attack comes and catches them all unaware.

As a result, humanity is extinguished.

Don’t let this happen to you.

My 14 year old self stared at Chrome and decided to consult Google on a random fleeting thought...

"How is software made?"

The search resulted in my downloading Visual Studio. Without any understanding of what it was or how it worked I somehow managed to create a new Winforms project.

I started to drag controls from the ToolBox onto the form, and I specifically recall thinking "Wow! This is easy.". Little did I know...

I then inadvertently double clicked either a control or the form which as most will know switches from the designer view to the code editor taking you to the code that drives the form.

"What the hell is this?"

I had absolutely no idea what I was looking at, but decided I was determined to understand what all of that random text did.

So, yeah, my first dev project was a Winforms App consisting of a single button that did absolutely nothing, but yet happens to be the most important app I have ever created.

To think I'd be working in an entirely different sector if it wasn't for that one Google search.

Dude: Hey, can you help me with my website? It's for the final year project (IT and Hardware related degree).
Me: Sure, let me see.

Sends a .txt file with two <html> tags, not even closed.

Dude: Can you fix it so it appears with a menu on the top and news on the middle?

This guy got his degree and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know how to enter to the BIOS of a computer.

He probably doesn't know what a BIOS is.

Had a final year project defence today in university. There were about 15 CS teachers in the room.
Our project was "Crypto Currency". After all the presentation was finish.

Teachers: so what is this blockchain?

** explained all about it and how it works with marker in a whiteboard **

While most of the projects were rejected and they have asked several cross questions to other friends, they didnt even ask any question to us and said our project is accepted.

Turns out teachers were taught by a student today, feels so good 😎 😂

My dad got a new phone over the weekend and asked me to help him set it up (TL;DR his IPhone broke, he likely cussed out someone on the phone and now he's on android).

Setting up his bank app, I asked for his password (I somehow knew asking a 80+ year old man password questions wouldn't end well)

<pulls a card out of his wallet>
Dad: "Here you go."
Me: "This is your business card?"
Dad: "Yep. Password is at the bottom. That way I never forget it."
Me: "Jeez dad, you shouldn't have your bank's password on a business card. You don't give these out to people, do you?"
Dad: "Sometimes. Hell, they won't know what that is. Its just a bunch of nonsense."

Luckily the password didn't work. He had to reset it when his IPhone messed up and didn't remember what he changed the password to.

It's only day one of the year and I'm already pissed right off

Why the fuck do all clients expect you to come up with absolutely everything!?

All I ever get is we want a website. I ask well what do you want on it.. our products .. news? Contact maybe ... Urm our business information ... That kind of stuff.

Well what are they?

Pft.. I here is a name if our products. And other stuff

WE ARE SELLING IT WAT ARE THE PRICES AND INFORMATION DO YOU HAVE IMAGES

Yeah do you want them

Of course I do 😐

Great here's 2 of them we have 1100 so I'll get more to you soon.

😤 Thank you!

Holy shit it's always like talking to a fucking brick wall.. why do people have to make our jobs so hard it's already fucking tough

I have no time to plan your entire website by myself I don't know what you want on it. How could I possibly know that!? It's your fucking site

#rant

Instead of receiving a motivation in 2018, my boss decided to go anti mainstream and started with demotivation speech.

He started with how good we were last year even when he wasn't around. Well done team! But after that, it went downhill.

We were asked to work even harder, we got new policy (no unpaid leave, no paid overtime, minimum 40 hours working, etc) which some of them make sense and some don't, a specifically set break time (apparently to shut down smokers for smoking at random times), and warning for not being punctual.

And pay rise only after end of financial year.

To make it worse, we are not allowed to take naps or watch youtube on our desk on our breaks.

I seriously wonder what happened during his Christmas NY break. I'm not an entrepreneur so I have no idea if that is a right way to run a company or if Australia government just created new law. But surely I know this is when I say "New year, new company"

Dear DevRant Gods,

Please let me filter out the pokemon go posts.

It is getting out of hand!

I'll behave for the rest of the year, I promise. I can either have one less present at Christmas, if that's what it takes!

With rant,

fredrf_

End of year company party with 1200 employees. CEO is singing on stage with dinner buffet.
And I don't know what to do, with so many people. If i sit alone on a couch it is not ok. But sitting next to random strangers is also not ok. I hate such situations. How do you deal with this?

"I keep complaining to you guys every day about this bug and nothing happens!"

Firstly, it ain't a bug. Secondly, you're not complaining, you're whining. Thirdly, complaining is a bloody limited resource. If you do it once a year, everyone's going to sit up and take notice. If you do it daily, it's just "Duncan having another moan", and the only thing anyone will do is play "what time of day will Duncan rant" sweepstakes.

(Instant Message)
Client: Are you there?
Me: Yes speak please.
(Why don't you just leave the message? It's not like having a phone call…)
Client: The contract is ready. I'll send it to you.
(Waited for an akaward 10 minute…)
Client: ???Can you receive it???
(Omg are you doing SSL handshake or what? Just send the file!)
Me: Yes I can pleasre send it to me thank you so much.

So after promoting Flutter to the clients (for whom cross plateform solution are perfect match) for almost a year, today I finally got the first ever Flutter App contract. I believ e time for Flutter is really coming. Wish me luck!

Last year in my computer class, i was sitting next to the girl i likED. One day we were doing a classwork and i asked her for the IP adress (everyone in the class was supposed to know what is it and how to check it). Five minutes later she came back telling me the adress (streets, numbers) of the school...
You were perfect until that moment...

*senior designer*

Last year I had a meeting with the newly hired Senior Graphics Designer.

She was presenting the new design of the company's website with all the features she wants.

After a few minutes, I asked her, did you design it as a responsive website?

"What is that?" She said. I said that the website should display or have atleast a design for mobile view and desktop view.

And she replied, "is that a requirement?"

Talks to myself: how the hell we hire designers like this?

PS, she earns 4x my salary

I think my biggest problem is not being able to let go.

I love this product and believe in it 100%, but I CANT FUCKING STAND ANOTHER MINUTE WORKING WITH THESE FUCKING CLUELESS CLOWNS WHO ARE GOING TO DRIVE IT TO THE FUCKING GROUND!!!!!

...you know what? fuck 'em, I meanwhile reap $400+ monthly checks from Udemy, while our "best startup / amazing startup / omg wow lol i'm a fucking idiot" has earned a TOTAL of $200 in the past FUCKING YEAR

YOU FUCKING CLOWNS GET YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT OR I WILL TAKE THIS COMPANY OVER AND CONTROL ALL DECISIONS, IGNORING ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU THINK IS 'WISE' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 'WISE' IS YOU FUCKS!!!!!!!

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER YOUR BITBUCKET CREDENTIALS!!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN REVOKE MY ACCESS

AAAAAAAGGGGGG YOU FUCKING CLOWNS GODDAMMIT THIS IS SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING I CANT EVEN I NEED TO SMASH SOMETHING TO GET THE RAGE OUTAASDASDJKLFJ;KLAFDSJKL;AFDSJKL;AFES L;KADFS AF LSAFS DHI;A EGWHIOAEGW IOAEGWHIO

Finally I understand what it is like to use a language that does not have any extra resources like stackoverflow or tutorials.

Using ReasonML for my final year project and the only resource I have is the API doc ☹️

i'm feeling so sick right now.

PM invited team for today to present his "vision": "<name of our component>: what it is and what it is not".
but it didn't make sense and showed that he hadn't understood the problem at all. the whole architecture made no sense given the problems that shall be solved. his architecture diagrams missed some essential parts that were actually the giant weak points of his concept. his pseudocode, that should exemplify interactions between components, didn't address the complexity of required interactions at all. it's like he expects some magic to happen and has no fucking clue about the requirements (but acts like it), even though he is the manager of this software project.
and when devs ask really interesting questions that fundamentally question his concept, discussions lead to nowhere and questions are not answered. at some point he literally said "there is no such thing as <name of our component>, i still have to find this out"
really!? after one and a half year, since you sold the idea for this component to upper management, and after half a year of development, you still can't tell what it is what we actually want to build? are you fucking serious?!

at some point in discussion he said that these questions need to be answered but that "there's no time left", and he ended the meeting. although there was still half an hour of meeting time left.

i'm so fucking sick of this, i hate everything right now. i can't listen to this bullshit any longer. in discussions, he contradicts himself all the time, it is so fucking surreal i'm starting to feel like i'm insane.

it makes me really sad and tired. i don't want to care about this shit any longer.

So, there was some project going around universities for online lab and connecting students to learn together. My school saw it as opportunity and I was appointed to make a simple web app doing just that.

T - teacher

First there was the database.
T1: "I think that you can design the tables better"
Me: "This is the most logical way, but sure, I can modify it. Although, T2 told me to do it this way."
T1: "Just do what I said"

And I did.

T2: "Why did you change the design, I gave you the schema, didn't I?"

Oh I was so fucking pissed. I'm skipping classes so I can work on this fucking piece of shit and this is what I get. Two self fucking centered idiots.

I resolved situation somehow, then came the frontend. I was told that the T3 will do it I just have to connect it to my backend, great.

So this so called "Teacher of Web design and development" downloaded fucking bloated bootstrap template with scripts longer than my future. It took 2 minutes to just load the html page from local drive.

I told T2 that I will make design it from scratch and I will try to make it look the same. I finished it somehow. Loaded in seconds, worked superb. First thing T1 told me: "Just roll back the design"
He didn't even listen to what I had to say.

Ohh boii, I fucking lost two months on your piece of shit garbage app, and what I have from it? Fucking bag of dicks. The thing is that I have another year with those pricks.
If this is what the industry is like, you guys deserve a medal.

"A world where skill, not birth, would be valued.. isn't that the world you wish to make?"
- High School DxD Hero
(yes I'm a fucking weeb, get over it)

Post-meritocracy and all its assocated bullshit, it's played a major role in 2018. Because clearly merit is a bad thing. Let's make success dependent on how you're born, and what features you have upon birth. Let's have it be decided by what you are, rather than my what you aspire to be.

You know what's an already existing system like that and I despise? The caste system. A system in which not your merit but your family, your heritage, decides your success. Not merit, not what you, yes you, want to be. Fuck family, and fuck family-related hierarchies. Yet that's what the post-meritocracy society would be. One that's decided - just as much as the family factor is - on what you are, not what you want to be.

Fuck post-meritocracy, and fuck the caste system. Let's make 2019 a year of change, one where merit becomes important again.

I got my first programming job half a year ago, the lead developer there is really fucked up... he is old fashioned and stubborn as hell. He developed a platform that is a mess, his comment: “it works”... but now I have to fix it... I argued with my boss and convinced him to put more time in making it more scalable and feature proof. But the lead developer back then... he didn’t agree it seems like he want to do everything as quickly as possible... now half a year later he stopped working for us and I’m the lead developer now.

And I’m discovering more and more bad decisions... HOWWWW

WHAT DID THIS GUY DO???

At one time I was arguing with him and he backfired a comment: “I’m doing it like this for 10 years”... so I guess that’s the problem... he didn’t put effort in keeping up with the latest developments...

There is literally no structure in his work, every file is different... HOW DO I FIX THIS IN A NICE WAY??? I’m thinking to just start over again...

Got 15 days annual leave left from last year. My boss can't afford to send me on leave because we are only 2 developers. The other person really doesn't know what he is doing on coding.

So yes, my boss fucked my annual leave too. I hope he enjoyed it.

In my first year of college right now, and on the first test we had to write some C# ConsoleApplications. We got instructions of what we have to taken as input, what we had to do with it and output it to the console.

I've tested them all and they all work correctly, which was the main objective. I have used the correct data structures, but I didn't get top mark. Instead, I got lower because "I didn't do it her way".

WELL F*CK YOU TOO!!! I hope this is not how every test/exam goes

You guys wanna know why I rage so much at the 🤡🤡🤡's I work with?

I shit you not, this is a ticket in our "to do" section of our Jira.

what even is ticket linking??!?!?

what even are tickets??!?!?!

or better yet.... what even the fuck is jira?!?!?! I've only been using it for over a year, give me some time to figure out how to use it!!!!!!

I don't know, maybe i'm the asshole. But at least I don't feel like a 🤡

Hey y'all! It's been a while since I logged in.
But I'm back with a dev jingle, just like last year:

Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Look how my code compiles,

Oh what fun, it is to see,
No reds in my console!

I have been developing something for 3 weeks now which has been sold to a customer for a lot of money last year, next to no specification on what it should do, got the spec 3 weeks ago, is being installed in a couple of weeks and I have no idea how to get it working!
I have tried about 5 different concepts now and they all start to look good until 1 of the many factors change then kaboom.

Microsoft are you serious! You are installing a major update that will take a while, specifying that it will restart my computer many times without even asking if I want to proceed with it now or later! I don't have my charger ! What would happen if It goes out of battery! Damn you Microsoft !! Isn't there any good OS or what! Windows is sometimes buggy ! Linux distros don't make use of GPU! And I don't even talk about Mac.. God damnit we're on year 2017 and made so many astonishing work and still there is no fully operational and good OS! 😬😬😬

So yeah, we released our app for 26k people to use two days ago. Due to circumstances not under our control, that was developed way faster than it should've. Today we're two days in and everything is going horrible. 26 thousand people are having trouble using it (not every problem is our fault, but ofc they don't give a shit) and our support team is not big enough to handle every request. We're not able to find any more people to help us handle it, so some developers are being used for support. But that slows the bugfixes a lot. We're at risk of losing our jobs because we will not be able to make it work in due time.

In Italy, at the beginning of the year a particular type of invoice became necessary and to handle that everyone needs a particular kind of email called "certified", you know, because Italy, and today our certified email server went offline for the whole fucking day because the provider was an overload of feces. We were overwhelmed by the amount of people that needed help.

I don't even know what to say, if we don't fix it we're fucking fucked, like literally.

I really hope everyone is having a nice new year. For us, this is going terrible.

Ever since i was a little boy, i was fascinated by the stars in the sky and what made them shine. I used to wonder how our universe came in to being. What made it what it is today. What will happen to it long after we re gone. Will it die? Will it live forever? How big is it? Why is it big if it s big and why is it small if it s small. "God did it" was never a satisfying answer for me. God does not play dice as Albert Einstein said. So many questions went through my 10 12 year old mind. Until someone recommended to me the book, "A brief history of time". The book answered a lot of my questions and gave birth to more. Computer science is like my crush. I love it as a friend. But Astrophysics, its the true love of my life. It not only quenches my thirst, but it satisfies my curiosity, while making me more curious. Its an endless cycle. It teaches us that we came from the stars, we go back in the dirt, and only to be returned to the stars again.
Stephen Hawking, his work, his books, taught me so much. Inspired me. Made me more curious. And today the world has truly lost, one of its greatest people.
You will be missed Sir Hawking. RIP.

Languages like python and R are some-what high level languages, with an easy syntax and very readable code. This useful essentially to make it easier for non-programmers to use it. For me as a software developer with +4 years of professional programming. I started with Assembly, Quick-Basic to C++, Java then C#, I found Python super convenient, and at times way too convenient.
At first it felt like I was cheating, and would not consider myself actually writing code, more like pseudo-coding.
After a year or so, I got used to it and it became my default, but it still does not feel right .. is anyone else feeling the same?
I do believe that coding the hard way is not always the right way, but I am just wired that way.

!rant
I'm a long time Unity3D C# programmer and i mostly build android games for fun. About half a year ago i dumped windows for Debian Linux(fucking love it) but I quickly started to miss my unity3d environment. Unity in a VM doesn't work and the outdated, beta, crash prone linux version doesn't support android so i started looking for an alternative.

I decided to give Godot a shot but moving from a statistically typed language to a dynamically typed one literally breaks my brain. The last couple of hours of reading the documentation pretty much consisted of: WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THAT! NO. WHAT? WTF IS THAT SYNTAX? oh I think I'm getting it WHAT DO YOU MEAN POINTERS DON'T EXIST!?

I feel JS has taken over...

The good.

Easy to learn, thus everyone knows it

The bad.

Everyone knows it, so npm has disgusting code that's used in prod.

Npm itself is still an unstable mess at times.

No one knows what it is to be a good programmer .

Dozens of frameworks every year since everyone thinks they can make it a bit better.

Classes still suck , no interfaces !

for real i can't imagine what all you people are doing wrong getting those blue screens in windows all the time reasoning your change to Linux. been using it like forever and had experienced some in the early days, very few in windows 8.1 when i was messing with some drivers and shit but not a single one since windows 10 while using it normally on a daily base.

sure, there is a lot to rant about in windows generally justifying a change to Linux but are you talking about windows 98 or fucking raping your system till it BsoD's just to point at it and say: oh Linux is so much better because i don't get BsoD's all the time? or are you using 10 year old hardware?

enlighten me pls

But what the FUCK VULTR!!!
It is the third time in two weeks that I actually have to reopen issues because your staff do not know how to troubleshoot correctly!

If there is routingproblems, please check from an external server and not from the same network!

I dont know, but Vultr has significantly lost the servicemind during this year...
Time for another host?

being a first year IT student:

- help, I can't check-in to my flight
- my computer is slow, I heard you can fix it (still runs xp)
- can you fix the printer?

- my laptop is broken (error message pops up with the actual solution) and there was an error
- did you read it?
- did I read what?

Is this gonna get better anytime soon?

Guy studies programming for a year.
Guy: I am going to start this amazing project wanna help
Me: Sure what is it
Guy: ***Long story of a decent idea***
Me: Sure Ill help, what do you need me to do
Guy: Only a few functions
A few days later...
Guy: Hey I don't where to start or how I should do it can you help me with like THE WHOLE PROGRAM?

If you haven't gathered from this story. Don't be that one guy who has an idea but doesn't write or make a plan for it as your just going to waste other peoples energy and resources.

My computer science class in school is learning c# so slowly that last year it took 3 weeks for them to learn what an integer is.
I learned most of the language on a vacation last year and now I don't show up for class.
and actually, my teacher doesn't mind it, she encourages me about learning more and doing projects.
best teacher I've had so far.

recently the class teacher noticed me when I go home instead of going to class and he made me come to every lesson. Really frustrating.

Got a gift from my friend. It was from an Indiegogo project. It worked fantastically until it has broken recently.
Although 1 year warranty was promised according to the site, the fact that it's from Indiegogo means that's non existence (I'd say if you actually receive the thing, you're very lucky). So I disassembled it and had a look.
Now I'm thinking maybe I just need to hack my way in to find out what that blown chip is and if I can replace it.
I am also disgusted by the Chinese printed on the IC...

A year ago it took me hours to get SSL working on my Digital Ocean droplet I was using to host my website. I had no idea what I was doing and even though I 'knew' how to use the terminal and do most things, I wasn't confident or competent to only rely on the CLI.

About a year later (today) I get an email that my SSL is about to expire and needs renewed. Done and taken care of within 20 minutes, (with a 2 hour gap due to waiting for the cert authority to send me the zip of files)

All that time using i3 and moving to Linux is paying off. Maybe by the time I can afford to build my next desktop I can make my main OS linux

One shitty thing about working in a Japanese company is that they make you write personal goals/targets (目標). These goals they expect you to achieve don't actually relate to your work most of the time and it's not about personal growth, but more about what you did to improve the company.

Another thing is their expectations that you can achieve all this within a year on top of your work is kind of unrealistic. Plus even if you achieve such goals, it does not equate to good performance review and/or salary increases.

Tldr: I just FAILED AN EXAM because of my uni's SHITTIEST SERVERS EVER. YEAR AFTER YEAR THE EXACT SAME SHIT HAPPENS, THEIR SERVERS OR NETWORK FAIL HARD AND STUDENTS FAIL EXAMS BECAUSE OF IT, AND THEY NEVER FIX IT.
FUCK

In the middle of a 3h exam at uni, using Matlab through virtualdesktop, when suddenly it stops working entirely. Trying to restart it, no go. A few other people are having the same issue as well.
After 20 minutes of waiting, one IT tech shows up saying people in other labs are having the same issue, big problems.
Ended up wasting nearly an hour waiting for shit to work again - which it did, but only when the extra time they had given us ran out.
Desperately tried to salvage what I could of my exam, but I don't think I did enough to pass.

This is not the first time it happens. Exam after exam, shit like this keeps happening over and over again, and every time some students get fucked in the ass and have to take the exam again - the next semester.

This is supposed to be one of the top universities in the country, and top 20 engineering schools in the world.
FUCK THIS SHIT

OMG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I just got an email from HackerRank saying they awarded me a certification...

I wonder what it is done I haven't been on there for at least a year...or two...

It turns out I am certified for basic problem solving....

Hm.... 🤔🤔🤔🤔

My favorite year as a dev + why?

It would have to be this year because ..

- The 'pointy hair' bosses I've ranted about on this forum have been fired or they quit. I almost kinda forgot what it felt like to talk to managers not feel like "Good Lord, how does this guy put on his shoes"
- I took over the position of my nemesis (his choice, not mine) who quit (he quit before he was fired) and deleted+replaced all remnants of his code/life's work. More out of spite than necessity.
- Reaping the benefits of properly logging/reporting errors and developers able to fix those errors, nearly eliminating those 3:00AM 'System is down' phone calls.
- Able to take time to learn new technologies (learning React right now) and not constantly running around putting out fires.
- Son just graduated college at age 21.

In knew it was bad at the time, but holy shit have I realised how shitty my last job was!

Underpaid (though still not doing too badly), underappreciated, and no promotion or raise despite promises of one for over a year. Of course the minute I handed in my notice, they immediately offered me a 15k raise and "oh, we can get you involved in the management side in 6 months".

Guess what bitches, my new job * is * being a manager, and I get a 20k pay rise. 2 weeks in and I'm loving it, wish I'd switched sooner!

The catch is, I'm now a manager. Does this make me the future bad guy?

My family (dad, mom and I) runs a software business. Things were going decent when I was in college, and just as I was about to finish college, it went slightly bad due to lack of some technical insight. So I figured, I had the knowledge to do so, and joined in the family business as my first job. When I joined, I found out that things were worse that what I expected, (lack of processes in the company to handle day to day business). But we took a year to fix it and solve issues. But during this year, while the company finally runs as a proper company, we went into some serious debt to keep it running, as we were expecting it to get resolved soon. But now, although the company is structurally fine, the sales have seriously dropped. This has us cornered and we aren't able to do anything. We are seriously considering shutting the company down.

Which is not the worst part. The worst part is the debt. Since I, was a part of the company too, I am equally responsible for paying it off. And now, due to both my parents hitting the retirement age, I will be the only one repaying it. I really don't want to invest an estimated 8-10 years of my life living very modestly and spending a large (70-80%) of my income in repaying this.

I don't even know what to do, and things just seem very hopeless for me. Looking for any advice anyone has.

I guess if I had a bit more experience in the real world, I would be better at dealing with this, but I'm literally just 1 year out of my college.

I updated a date field on a table with about 4 million records in it.

Only meant to update about 1000 of them.

This field is used to generate QBRs. So the executive level would notice first.

But then.... They didn't. Nobody noticed. Not for almost a year.

Then someone asked about it and I told them what happened, and they never brought it up again.

When someone tries to generate getters and setters in C# as if it was Java, you may think: "He is starting!"... And then you ask: "How long have you been working with C#?"

Surprising answer: "1 year" 😱

What have you been doing till now?

Why is it what so many developers think that they are the sole genius surrounded by idiots and completely lack in interpersonal skills or the ability to see other people's arguments as valid? Honestly, with some people it's like working with an emotionally stunted teenager. I literally spoke to someone yesterday who thinks it's impossible to come to a compromise or agreement about anything unless there is a third party to arbitrate and mindlessly insists on his own way in literally every disagreement, even after admitting his logic is faulty. It's like watching a spotty 17 year old argue about politics online I swear it.

What a sad and frustrating day!
I got a call from recruiter. I told him that I'm not actively looking for change. But he requested for 2 mins to listen. He started telling about his company, how great it is, tech stack, perks, salary etc. He is telling everything but not company name, I waited patiently and asked what's the pay I can expect. The number blew my mind, it's nearly double to my current pay. Then...

Me: that sounds amazing, which company is this, and where is it?
Him: it is <my company name> and located at <my current location, same campus>
Me: .....
Him: so, what do you think?
Me: .... I need some time. Let me update my LinkedIn profile first and then, i will get back to you.
Him: sounds wonderful, will call back by Monday. <Call disconnected>
Me: <inside my head> @$_-$#(/+&_#

This in my 10th year in this company, some one kill me please.

When I told my mother I wanted to become a software dev, she went surprised but supported me to reach my goals. That's what family does. I'll always be thankful to her. (My family is quite short actually).

One year later, with my first salary I bought her a brand new iPad. 💕

If you don't have your family support, just do it. Do whatever makes you happy and complete!

bool rant = false

I became my school's computer club president just last year. Although it's a computer club most of them aren't specially good in computer. We learn Photoshop for mostbof the time. So I decided to bring in unity3d and teach it myself.

I did managed to teach them in a slow pace. What came to me as a surprise is that I inspired another student to held unity class in school to teach other students game making .

Sometimes little thing we do may influence people in a big way we don't know.

Guy I work with messaging me: Hey could you check my SQL syntax to get the date part for the month and year.

Me thinking: Ughhh this is going to be something stupid I know it. Why doesn't he just check it himself?

I check it... 2 queries that are very, very, very... simple... and similar except one returns last year (2017) and the other returns the current year (2018)

Me: Not sure what your issue is... I'm not getting any syntax errors. They are executing

Him: Well it shouldn't show 2017, it should show 2018

Me thinking: learn to debug you lazy fuck

Me: Well you're adding a -1 to your year...(Not sure why your even adding to it if your just getting the current month and year)

Him: Oh you're correct! That makes sense

Waste of my time

100 weeks is ~ 2 years away.

It will be year 2020 then, the year i thought about in highschool 8 years ago wondering what I'd do then since 2020 sounded like a cool number.

It's time to write a letter to my future self.

Dear holodreamer ( version 2020 ),

This is your old version speaking from 2018. I see that you have upgraded to a better version of myself. I see that you are finally financially independent and preparing to move out to somewhere peaceful and better. According to my calculations, you should be feeling pressure from your family and relatives to get married. Looking from my perspective, it seems you had other plans than to settle for relationship this year, like traveling the world, being in the snow, mountains and living an adventurous lifestyle. I want you to know I'm proud of you if you are following though those goals.

Btw, do you remember that random muslim girl you met on the internet 110 weeks ago? Is she still in contact with you every day?! I hope not. Is she still super religious? She was a good chat buddy for me, a great alternative to a chatbots at my time but I hope you didn't get carried away with her and I hope you don't have to resort to chatbots to cure loneliness.

Did AI replace developers? Is JavaScript still the most popular programming language?

I'm waiting for your response.

Best wishes,
holodreamer (version 2018)

Because of some theft this year and even though we already have security cameras, my apartment building decided to check the front door locks so it's more secure.

This key looks very high tech... Only issue though is I never use the key anyway... I just entered the door code...

So what is the point of changing the locks? I'm going to guess whoever is stealing isn't picking the lock... People would notice... They must know the code.

Also it seems most of the apartment locks are digital key card/pins too. Wondering if this just means most owners are young or just are techies/devs...

I had a performance review with my boss and his boss today.

After they told me what they wanted to, they asked for my feedback. I was very honest with them and didn't only tell them the good stuff but the things I've been disappointed with as well.

Well, last year was mostly a big fat disappointment for me at the company, both on a professional and a personal level, which seemingly took them by surprise and hurt their feelings because they think it is the best place to work at. Even though I tried to make my feedback as constructive as possible, they didn't really seem to understand the problems and kept saying what a good company this is and what amazing opportunities will this year hold.

And they gave me a raise before I could even ask for it.

short one.

So my CS course is full of people who can't write a fucking for loop (I shit you not) after more than half a year.
And then there's those that don't know what a return type is.

So I asked them once, after they stated that the course sucks, why they even chose it in the first place.
Freely translated it would be:

"I dunno, I thought we'd be doing cool hacker stuff in here..."

At that point I just wanted to jump out of the window.

Sometime ago I was introduced to that game "Stardew Valley", as a way to relax and unwind since it is a dynamic-pace simple-storyline and even simpler interactivity open world.
Well, it worked like a charm (sarcasm). I have a save where I am a profit-maxinizing capitalist who tries to score a million gp in an year - so a regular gamer approach. It wasn't the goal here.
So I got a second save where I just go along, getting enough to get by and no hurry to build farm buildings and whatnot, but slowly building up NPC relationships.
Man, what a good metaphor for life. That approach actually unwinds me.

But the dev in me is just like "just, woah! that is an stellar use case for GPT+3 APIs! You could have NPCs with dynamic adaptative dialog! *And* you can monetize it (piracy-proof!) by charging for API calls! No shops, no collectibles, just a unique but scalable experience!"

What is wrong with me? I gotta change into the second-save mindset...

Do you guys think it’s time “Hackers” gets its 2020 remake? I know it was cheesy for its time (1995) but 8 year old me was INTO that music video montage direction and that movie inspired was what inspired me to get into tinkering with electronics/embedded systems.

Rewatching it tonight and the casting is so on point, too.

Over the last year, I’ve only started learning computer science at uni, never done it before.

I’ve done units in:
- Alg. and programming fundamentals in python
- Intro to comp sci
- alg. and data structures
- theory of computation

Guess the point of this is, “why do people code, what aspirations do you all have?”
Cause rn, I’m all about “I have no idea what I’m doing, coding just seemed cool and I wanted to try it out.” Don’t know where to go

Someone inspire me???
Here is a legit reason for you to brag about what you do and what you’re going to do 😉

"I have a great idea for a messaging app.
But I can't tell you what it is until you agree to make it for me, I can't pay you right now but I'll pay you back when we make tonnes of money!"

My startup idea: you create apps for people with bad ideas and the fees on a 1 year 'loan' with high penalties for failing to pay. Fair right?

So, here is the worst experience, not one.. but recent two of many of the encounters I had with my OOP teacher... (I am in Second Year of Engineering). Lets Call him T.
To give a background of T... He knows nothing but acts like he is the master... you'll get to know this...

Incident #0:
*me developing a website for a client and T just bumps in*
T: Hey, what are you upto.
M:Nothing sir, just some Web-dev stuff.
T: What languages do you use?
M: I am currently using embedded ruby.
T: No no, I meant, what languages do you use for web-dev?
*inner* M: Ok, try to act stupid... He is not worth of all the knowledge.
M: Sorry sir, I just use simple HTML-CSS.
T: Ohh, I use Wordpress... It's a great language to build websites.
*inner* M: He has no idea what WP really is, he is a fuckshit.
T: It's so simple and easy, that you code for Desktop view, press Ctrl-M and then it automatically makes it for mobile view.
*inner* M: Bursts out into laughter
M: OK sir, will look over it.

Incident #1:
*He is teaching, suddenly topic comes of Oracle Certification for Java*
T: I know many of you have idea about java, but do you have what it takes to be an OCJP..
*inner* M: LOL...
T: It is a really hard thing, and I can bet... I can bet *he did repeat that twice* that no one from you can even qualify OCJP.
*inner* M: It's time... It's time
M: Excuse me sir, first of all it's OCA... OCJP does not exist anymore... And secondly, I am an OCA...
*inner* M: Yeah... Fuck you bitch!
*assucimg inner* T:Fuck, asshole..$#@#%@!@$@%#

And whole class was like -> o.O

Today I had to present my final year project called segmentation and detection of glioma using deep learning.

It took 15 minutes for the evaluators to understand what an mri image dataset (BRaTs) dataset looks like (they are voxels and not pixels). My god, these peasants...

And I was there expecting them to understand down sampling convolutions and up scaling convolutions of U Net model 😂. Life is so convoluted right now!

Talking to a second year student about what they've learnt so far, and what they should learn next:

"Cool, so what general topics would you say you know really thoroughly at the moment?"

"Oh, I've now learnt Java, C#, C, C++, Rust, Javascript, node.js, HTML, CSS, Angular, Vue, Erlang and probably a bunch of other stuff I've forgotten. What do you think I should concentrate on next?"

"Hmm. Probably best to take just one of those and learn it really thoroughly."

"...but I already know them all really thoroughly."

"Ok. Can you explain what an abstract class is in say Java, C# or C++?"

"Sure, I can create a new class called abstract and then use it for abstraction. I do that loads."

...🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

First lesson: Stop BS'ing. Might work for flexing to non-devs, but that's about it.

First task as Python delevoper intern - fix non-essential for business app, written by an intern last year. Apparently that intern didn't even know what an object is. In Python, where everything, including functions, is an object.

I have to fix it piece by piece. It would be faster to throw old code and start from scratch.

Yet I'm glad they gave me this task. I feel like I'm learning a lot working with this shitty code. And they assigned a great person to help me should I have any questions/problems.

I could not be happier.

What is your opinion on hopping from one language to another?

So far I have been programming for a little over a year and have used Python, Lua, Javascript amd C++, planning on trying Java in the very near future.
I've had quite a positive experience with switching languages so far, especially when starting out. Some concepts I wouldn't understand, but after seeing them from a perspective of a different language I finally got it. Do you think it's good to know a lot of languages, or in the long run is it better to master one?

Finally on vacation.

As an American the first surprise I got in Berlin is that Burger King serves beer. Never seen that ever back home. (Okay I was in Denmark on a plane but it still was cool darn it)

I've been thinking for the year about working here, but now that I showed up the idea is scaring me a bit. Go figure. 😭

I want to see more of Germany beyond Berlin, what do our German natives like here?

I started working at my company a year ago.
Back then I was just graduating from sofware engineering degree.
The position was Junior Web Dev, But actually it is full stack developer.
When I joined I wanted salary X (because I "got offers"), which was a bit above what big companies like Intel gives to graduates back then.
The offered back 80% of it, which was a bit more than was most graduates got in startups.
I settled on their offer and we agreed that after a year I'll get the raise if I'll do good.

A year passed.
The team leader left for a bigger company, and I became the unofficial team leader (and was always the scrum master )
Bare in mind that there are two developers that are in the company for 2-3 years, yet I got the unofficial roll.

We had the talk, and my manager asked me straight away "under what salary would you start to search other jobs? We want to keep you here"
I said that under my initial X salary that we agreed a year ago.
He claimed to have forgotten that we agreed on 20% raise.
I answered that it's the least I ask, beneath it and I'll start looking for another job.

He replied that he'll do his best to make the owner give me that.

A week passed and I got no update....

What should I do in your opinion?

Rant
I'm a CS student at a university in the global top 10. We currently have two courses using Java, where we have to submit our work to a judge program. One of them is running Java 7. the second one Java 6! Come on, what year is it? Just update your fucking software and the assignments, you lazy fucks!

First rant. Am I doing this right?

Who at Microsoft thought that this is a good idea?

I wish I did not update, last update I did was a year ago and I was happy with it, now Windows feels like chaos ... Half the things are Dark themed and the other half is not. Lets see what the future holds

Also that Windows.old thing takes up 20GB that even if installation fails, it never succeeds in rolling back ... At least I was never able to rollback ...

Me: "Omg, I'm so not sorry you didn't get a response to your 2:00am text sent to my private phone number about that super duper not important thing that a four year old could solve... but my girlfriend gave me a wrist band thingy that puts my phone on silent whenever it thinks I'm sleeping."

Product Owner: "And you can't set it up properly!? Your title says `señor software engineer` for god's sake!"

Me: "Yeah, it does. This is a hardware issue, though."

...is what I told her and she bought it. 🤷‍♂️

You know what sucks?
Having birthday...Literally not an hour ago and nobody showing up...At least nobody who you really cared about. Only people around are there because they knew you some years ago and expect to get a free drink...

Wanna know what sucks even more??
Being heartbroken and even though you felt horrible because of that person it is my minute of the year and the most I wish is her being by my site. Caring about me and just wishing me happy birthday.

Definitely the worst birthday ever but at least I'm drunk so that's that.

I just wanted to get that off my chest. Bye and have a nice evening y'all.

So I hate apple, we were updating an app from a year ago and everything went well until we tried to submit. We kept getting this error about launch screen images for iPhone 5. We tried everything stack overflow had to say but nothing worked, NOTHING.

Here is the thing, we tried to submit the exact same binary on our other Mac, and it worked. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK APPLE.

I started to work in the CreditCard / Bank business a year ago.
Now they stopped the hole server migration project, so I leave again. They could have had it all. Server 2016, SQL 2016, Citrix, Surface Books and so on.
But no, the new shitty projects are more important than security or on what technology the system is build on.

Seems like the FTP Server will run on Windows 2003 forever...

How on earth are there people in their second year of a computer science course who are unable to understand how to read build errors. It's honestly not that hard, just look at the fucking build log and see where the error is and what type of error it is, but yet they don't bother reading the log and say that their "compiler is broken" when their 5 line code won't work.

If this was still first year I'd understand since many of the class didn't have much programming knowledge, but if you're in your second year and you struggle with this (that too for a Hello World script) it looks like you aren't even bothered and just expect the computer to magically understand what you mean.

Continue with my ALL-OUT year of JUST DO IT. Trying to see what happens when I go YOLO for a year.

It started well about 4 months ago, but I slowed down a bit. I just want to pick up the pace again and JUST DO EEET. See where it leads.

Been working on a lot of side projects. I want to finish a few. One is already pretty much finished.

Then, towards the end of the next year, I think I'll start looking for a dev job.

Me: "Can you get the user to send us a recent crash dump?"
(Support person forwards my email)
User: "The most recent ones are from November"
Support person: "It seems they haven't had any this month"
Me: (?????!!) "Which November?"

The eventual crash dump was datestamped with today's date.

After more than a year I decided to download whisper (app) again and see what was being said near me.

Holly shit the app is a total disappointment, first it crashes my fucking phone the instant I open it, I try to open it again and my God I'm presented with adds everywhere and a load speed so slow a dying tortoise would run circles around it.

The app finished loading the content and it's a clusterfuck of insipid commentary and images, "I bought beautiful new panties", "my lesbian friend doesn't think I'm cute", "any girl want to talk to me?".

After looking at the decaying state of the app I noticed I had notifications, apparently my account is active somehow, I tried to delete it but as it turns out the app has no way of doing that, YOU NEED TO CONTACT THE FUCKERS!

What the fuck?! Who the hell made this steaming pile of shit and said it was an app?!

Nothing more to add, I deleted right away.

const abc: string = 'Hi';

Can we take a moment to appreciate how retarded it is that TSlint throws a warning here that the string type is inferred and unnecessary.

I want to put the type there because it looks more readable. Code looks better if every variable has a type, irrespective of whether it's a constant. I know the fucking type is inferred you braggart linter bitch. What the fuck does it expect? A fucking award because it inferred that a string constant is of the fucking type string? How the ever loving fuck does that warrant a squiggly ass yellow warning line, reminiscent of that smartass 10 year old in class who has to yell out every answer when the teacher never asked a question.

Last year during my HTML/CSS exam, there was a question requested that items should be displayed in the center of the screen and move outwards as you add in to them.

There were three given IDs for the divs. Left, right and main. So what I did to reduce the amount of code written(mind you this is written on paper). I just used the main class wrapped it inside a container and then did what the question was asked and achieved the same result. My teacher still gave me 0 points even though I provided a solution better than what most other students actually did. His reason was, you should've done as I said.

And yes, yes we're writing our coding exams on paper.

Yesterday I had a phone screening with a hiring manager and was expected to talk about more of my expertise and just my experience overall. With four years of experience, I thought I could tell her everything she needed to know.

However, this interview was just kind of... weird. Literally every question she asked was defintiions. It was as if I was doing a short answer quiz.

"What is object-oriented programming?"
"What is a hashmap versus a list?"
"What is class inheritance?"

Like... What the fuck. These are questions that give no insight into who I am or how I work. This is shit you see on a second-year midterm exam. What a waste of time.

!dev && !rant

So, all through high school I grew out my hair. The last time I cut it was actually my sophomore year, so 2017. I've been thinking about cutting it for a bit, maybe do a different hairstyle. Last night I was hanging out with a few coworkers, and I decided that I'm gonna shave my head, and let it all grow back. It'll probably take at least a couple years, but why the hell not?

Pic is me from like last January? I haven't even trimmed my hair since 2017 so I have bad ends now, and it's basically stopped growing. So the picture is kinda close to what it is now, just a bit longer (like a bit past my chest)

Slack's latest update just broke the darkify hack. It's 2019, right? It is unbelievable that there is no built-in dark mode for Linux, Mac, or even windows. I mean, they are aware of dark mode. It is available on mobile without trouble. Get it together, slack!

How many of you use the right data structures for the right situations?

As seasoned programmer and mentor Simon Allardice said: "I've met all sorts of programmers, but where the self-taught programmers fell short was knowing when to use the right data structure for the right situation. There are Arrays, ArrayLists, Sets, HashSets, singly linked Lists, doubly linked Lists, Stacks, Queues, Red-Black trees, Binary trees,.. and what the novice programmer does wrong is only use ArrayList for everything".

Most uni students don't have this problem though, for Data Structures is freshman year material. It's dry, complicated and a difficult to pass course, but it's crucial as a toolset for the programmer.

What's important is knowing what data structures are good in what situations and knowing their strengths and weaknesses. If you use an ArrayList to traverse and work with millions of records, it will be ten-fold as inefficient as using a Set. And so on, and so on.

Every developer thought what the hell my colleague is writing in code.

After watching own code after a year, who the hell is the developer.

Oops it me. No comments :)

So I'm approaching a 8 year anniversary working in IT and this feels like the first time needing to do a serious rant.

Today I've come across some code (infact just a single line) written by another company that is so fucking fundamentally stupid that they should be banned from writing any code ever. Like holy fuck.

This is textbook examples of shit never to do ever in any fucking environment or intranet/extranet etc. What the fuck. The fucking muppetry involved in this. This is what they teach novice programmers - you see this code written 20 years ago? Never fucking do this. You see this company that went bust 10 years ago? It was because of shit like this. Never ever write code like this or your 90kg ass will be thrown 300m by the greatest medieval fucking siege engine ever created after we throw you through the catastrophic gaping hole in time and space that your line of code just created.

Fucking fuckity bye.

Boss needs certain stats pulled from database once a year for board meeting. This time I delegate it to a junior dba/sysadmin. He looks at my 3-year-old docs that I hastily jotted down and pasted and included my rambling notes with results from way back then. Mostly they were just to jog my own memory, not to be a really neat, clean instruction guide. He does the queries correctly, but in ticket for boss he pastes also all my notes from the docs. boss gets confused, "what is this other number, I don't get it?!" We have to have a meeting of the 3 of us and waste an hour or so just to figure out what went wrong, finally I realize what junior guy accidentally did. Moral of story: to avoid baffling the nontechs, always simplify, simplify, simplify. Alternate moral of story: before delegating a task that seems old hat to you, always review your notes/docs and make sure they're ready for someone else to use them.

Rant about IT teacher

(This happened a few months ago)

I go to highschool and in ninth grade you learn about Excel and databases in general. In the first half of the year we learned how to use excel and in the second part of the year we learned about SQL databases.
So we learned SQL and how to set up a database using LibreOffice Base. At the end of the year we had to do one final project which was setting up a database and writing some queries.
We had to do it in groups of two and we had to choose for what we wanted to make a database.
We had like 5 minutes time to discuss it in the groups and me and my friend decided to do something like GitHub, so a database with tables for all the users, repositories, etc.
Then we had to tell our teacher what we wanted to do. Others made databases for hospitals, shops, netflix, app stores. The teacher asked the other groups, they told him what they wanted to do and he wrote it down. Here is how it went down with my group:
Teacher: So what do you want to do?
Me: A database for something like GitHub
Teacher: For what?
Me: GitHub
Teacher: what?
Me (very slowly): G I T H U B
Teacher: what is github?
Me: ...
(I was very surprised that he didn't know GitHub)
Me: well, you can upload files and work on them together with other people. There are also things like branches...
Teacher: Ah ok, so a cloud service
(I was done and wanted to end the conversation)
Me: Yes... it's a cloud service...
(Me in my mind: why do i have to be here)

We named our project 'GitGud', a little bit passiv aggresive.

Yeah so apparently my IT teacher doesn't know GitHub, however he installed Ubuntu on some of the school computers so I guess that's nice

We got an A so that's good.

Accounting software- and it’s even not the developers fault but because law is changing so often these days they barely keep up.

So I run sole business and visit my accountant from time to time to chat and give my documents.

Sometimes I also help with accounting software like finding why it’s doesn’t sending this crap and doing what it’s expected to do only in some cases.

It usually takes an hour to find out why something doesn’t work.

Also once I was sending some companies fiscal year summary documents cause no one was able to figure out how to sign those documents and how to fill the form so it’s accepted by the “system”.

Based on how I see bureaucracy is increasing cause of technology instead of decreasing and how stupid are those protocols that are required for sending some financial documents over internet. Seeing that those protocols are changing every year if not half a year and software to send those documents mostly doesn’t work.

I’d say any accounting software is temple of doom.
It’s classic “The trial” by Kafka.

Don't understand what the hype about Elementary OS was. Used for ca. half a year, do not see any benefit.

If this is supposed to provide "usability" on a Linux kernel, then I am sorry, but in this regard it is a tremendous failure.

All tasks take long, there are all sorts of bugs, today I needed a multi-monitor setup for a presentation "real quick", dear lord was that a shitshow.

Nah, this thing is not for me.

Modbus official documentation contains nice layer diagram with texts in Comic Sans?! What year is it? 2000?

So on top of my Windows update frustrations, I just found out that Microsoft has been scamming me out of money for two years!
I bought an android tablet in 2016 which came with a free 1 year subscription to Office365. They demanded credit card info, so I made sure to pre-cancel it to avoid getting charged when the year was up.
Today I find a line on my bank statement that just says 'MICROSOFT', and I think to myself: 'What the hell is that?!?'
It takes some digging for the email adress I used and trying to navigate various MS sites until I realize that those bastards have auto-renewed the subscription twice now!
I missed it last year, but luckily since I caught the latest one within 30 days I can get a full refund.
Will contact their support tomorrow to get the rest of it back. Too tired right now to deal with their support jungle of circular links and virtual assistants...

YEARS of practice. I had my ups and downs. I learned myself, left it myself early on, came back to it half a year later, continued since. Figured out that web development is not the hell I wanted and quickly fell in love with iOS development in Swift. Been riding on the wind ever since, learning something new every single day.

Today I made something that some time ago took me about 3 weeks in less than an hour. If that’s not an improvement, I don’t know what that is.

Practice makes perfect, don’t forget that. Although it sounds ridiculously cheesy and shit, this is how it goes.

I’m getting drafted tomorrow. Well, this is not exactly a full on draft and joining the IDF (Israeli Defense Force) right NAO, it’s what we call a rough draft: I am having a psychotechnical examination so the military can understand how much I need to go to a cybersecurity unit instead of going to Gaza LMAO.

Although im starting a job in 2 weeks, i feel depressed already. I know what awaits me and I'll know even more what is yet to come. It's going to be hell. If it was a huge amount of money like 5-6k i would be less depressed. It would solve lots of problems. But its nowhere close to that

Tomorrow morning i have to go and sign the nda and other contracts. I really dont want to. This is not what i had planned. I planned to finish my project by the end of this year asap. Now i have to speedrun and finish the whole project ASAP before i officially start this job

Although im starting a job, i feel like a failure even more than not having a job. How is this possible and why is that? Why do i feel so bad to start working a job?

Knowing already that ill sign a 3 month contract, and knowing that I'll earn exactly $3900 in the next 3 months, is fucking pathetic in this economy

If you guys remember, i was teasing from time to time, that i'm working on some Rust Project in my free time.

Well here it is, i put up a whole bunch of Editor Windows in it, to showcase it a little bit. (It also reminded me, that i need to update the Version to 2024.01).

It's essentially a toolkit, with which i can create all the content, that is later used as a data basis, that is being fed into the Client + Server Combo of the actual Game. My Plan for this year is to go beyond the Editor and create a first version of the Client + Server to be able to playtest the stuff.

And sorry if it kinda sounds like an ad, but i'm more posting it here to show, how nice it actually is to build stuff with rust.

Let me know what you think ^^

so there is this guy on blind network who makes half a million per year... and he is worried about his job "since it might be automated away" and he is looking to switch career paths!!!!

mind boggling that a "software engineer" with that type of pay hasn't recognized that LLMs are all hype and no bite

wild

it's insane to me that people making more money in a year than i've made in my decade career know little to nothing about software

what an absolute insane time to be alive

Guys need your opinion. How bad of a thing is it if I change my job in just a year. Stuck in a toxic team. I’m a Class of 2020 undergrad, joined my current firm for the’brand’ but my experience and expectations have been polar opposites. I’m not able to put myself 100% behind to look for other jobs as I keep worrying that switching this early would hurt my profile long term.

Just wanted to hear what yall think.

somewhere in this world this happened..

Company lands huge enterprise project
manager: we have a year to get this done.
poor devs : excited and thinks about so much learning with this project it would be.
manager: Lets get work started with (spits planless jargons)...meanwhile another team is working on SRS.
poor devs: So we are doing R&D right..(excited)
manager: No we have a demo scheduled after 15days.
poor devs: What??
manager: Get on it..we need something to show on demo.
poor devs: no words spoken

...after one year of unplanned demos...
manager: we have to stablize project..UAT is nearing.
one of brave poor devs: No no..lets focus on demo...why do you need a stable product.
manager: instant rage

I met my crush last day, she is a junior from the same college, everything was fine until when she wanted to find a recharge shop to recharge her phone. I opened PayTm(One of the Mobile Wallet here in India) and said I'm doing it.

Her reaction : What ? How ? You can do recharge right away from your phone ! wow !

I lost my interest on her :(
She is BTech Final Year Student
Tragedies

tomorrow i will go to the hospital with my son for three days. mobile phone is officially prohibited and wifi not free but buggy. since they do not seem to know what year it is i just hope the anaesthesia is not just aether.

i was about to talk about golang - but it can wait.

snapchat's discover section is TERRIBLE. the amount of BULLSHIT, INCORRECT INFORMATION, AND PURE IDIOCY IS MAKING IT TERRIBLE.

now, usually, i rant about mashable when i say it's terrible. AT LEAST WHEN MASHABLE WROTE ABOUT THIS THEY WERE CORRECT. but no, alas, my faith in humanity is put to an all time end. a new evil has arose, by the name of "wired."

of course, and incredibly late to the party, a "tech" outlet wrote about bitcoin. the headline was "is bitcoin killing the planet?" IT HAS BEEN POSSIBLY THE STUPIDEST ARTICLE IVE READ OF ALL TIME. THEY CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT ANY SHIT THEYRE TALKING ABOUT.

let's take a look at the TWO facts they got wrong, and displayed to over a MILLION people.

now, instead of just GOOGLING TWO SIMPLE FACTS, THEY DECIDED TO JUST WRITE RANDOM SHIT.

ENOUGH WAITING - HERE THE THE TWO FACTS THEY GOT WRONG

picture 1: bitcoin up $900 in the last year? THE LAST MOTHER FUCKING, COCK SUCKING

.
.
.

YEAR?!?

WHY DO SUCH DUMBASSES HAVE ACCESS TO SOMETHING MILLIONS VIEW?

IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE

picture two: the actual fuck????

did i just read that?

b- bi- bitcoin will "run dry" BY 2032.

i think i finally figured it out.

these facts, they're literally just random number.

<thoughtBubble>
i can see it now:

wired employee 1: hey, guess what number im thinking of?

wired employee 2: 14?

wired employee 1: *screaming* BITCOIN WILL RUN DRY IN 14 YEARS

</thoughtBubble>

how do these people get hired. do they hire only hire 12 year old interns? im genuinely asking. does anyone know?

okay, end of rant. plz continue complaining about dumbasses who have power thru the media in tech

Working on some 2 year old php code don't know who has written it.
Found a function with some 500 lines of code and there is 3 times MySQL connection is initiated overriding same fucking variable with hardcoded database parameters in all of them
What the fuck man😦😦😦

Plus I have just started revewing the code there are tons of files and everywhere connection is hardcoded.

You know when you have a project and everything is fine. Then everything turns into this big mess that you have no idea what does. And then you don't even know how to continue on the project so you decide to just start from scratch after working on it for a year?

Well that happened today.

We've been using JIRA for over half a year now, and my colleagues still can't use it properly.

I've never had the problem, but to some amazing technological feat, every time they create a ticket, it "disappears", so they make a NEW ticket with just the title references to the actual one.

Love my daily review of JIRA, it's like a fucking raiders of the lost ark scene.

"ooooo what does this one mean, perhaps there is a clue if i shine a light on it just right"

jesus christ incompetence is rampant

I hope I did not make the wrong decision here:
Been working on a side project using React Js for a year now. After getting to know more about Vue, I just started rewriting it and moving it to Vue, to speed things up I'm using core JS classes for network stuff and validations ...etc just rewriting Redux to Vuex and React Components to Vue Templates

If I made the wrong decision I'd appreciate if anyone tell me about it before I go deeper in the rewrite process lol

It is not that I found speed difference both perform the same from what I've seen for my scenarios. But the output code of Vue is soooo much cleaner than what I found in React, either I failed to write a clean react code no matter how hard I try to optimize it, or Vue really takes the short way and keeps things clean.

I'm part of a robotics team in my highschool. We work on autonomous robots, which are driven with microcontrollers like the Arduino and "bare" Atmel chips.

Last year we were using a protocol called CAN. CAN is a bus which runs at 1Mbps and it is quite easy to connect devices together. (It's a bus ofc it is). BUT... it needs a terminator at the end, mostly 120 ohm.

Every year we are on a deadline and something broke on our current board and we needed to solder up a new one, but we couldn't find the 120 ohm terminator... ANYWHERE!

At end after searching for it in the workshop for 4h straight (12am- 4am) we finally found it, and soldered up the new board and guess what... it wasn't what we thought, the code was the problem.

After realizing the problem my teammate and I, in silence just stood up, packed our things and went home. Argh!

First day in the office for the year. First thing i do is connect through a vpn while inside a vdi. Fuck me! Since it changed my IP, now i can't access the damn vdi. Can't even restart it! What a way to start the year.

There is boy who is born to lower middle class family so there is a money problem envolved and his parnets kept fighting over this probem but they never tell about that to their child. They buy him everything in their budget but the kid knows about their problem, so whenever he really likes something which is costly he never tell his parents about that.

So life passes by and money problem grows bigger and bigger and that feeling grows stronger and stronger so he believes in the quotation that "if you love something you have to let it go" xbox, video games, toys, mobile phone, laptop, even the girl he likes. he knows their problem and never said anything about it so he feels lonely in life. Now the kid is older and in last year of his graduation he finally find a job but in all those graduation year he wants to do something else which require more struggle and is not an easy road. but they invested so