Its Friday, you all know what that means! ... Its results day for practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!

*audience: wwwwwwooooooooo!!!!*

We've had a bewildering array of candidates, lets remind ourselves:

- a psychopath that genuinely scared me a little
- a CEO I would take pleasure seeing in pain
- a pothead who mistook me for his drug dealer
- an unbelievable idiot
- an arrogant idiot obsessed with strings

Tough competition, but there can be only one ... *drum roll* ... the winner is ... none of them!

*audience: GASP!*
*audience member: what?*
*audience member: no way!*
*audience member: your fucking kidding me!*

Sir calm down! this is a day time show, no need for that ... let me explain, there is a winner ... but we've kept him till last and for a good reason

*audience: ooooohhhhh*

You see our final contestant and ultimate winner of this series is our good old friend "C", taking the letters of each of our previous contestants, that spells TRAGIC which is the only word to explain C.

*audience: laughs*

Oh I assure you its no laughing matter. C was with us for 6 whole months ... 6 excruciatingly painful months.

Backstory:

We needed someone with frontend, backend and experience with IoT devices, or raspberry PI's. We didn't think we'd get it all, but in walked an interviewee with web development experience, a tiny bit of Angular and his masters project was building a robot device that would change LED's depending on your facial expressions. PERFECT!!!

... oh to have a time machine

Working with C:

- He never actually did the tutorials I first set him on for Node.js and Angular 2+ because they were "too boring". I didn't find this out until some time later.

- The first project I had him work on was a small dashboard and backend, but he decided to use Angular 1 and a different database than what we were using because "for me, these are easier".

- He called that project done without testing / deploying it in the cloud, despite that being part of the ticket, because he didn't know how. Rather than tell or ask anyone ... he just didn't do it and moved on.

- As part of his first tech review I had to explain to him why he should be using if / else, rather than just if's.

- Despite his past experience building server applications and dashboards (4 years!), he never heard of a websocket, and it took a considerable amount of time to explain.

- When he used a node module to open a server socket, he sat staring at me like a deer caught in headlights completely unaware of how to use / test it was working. I again had to explain it and ultimately test it for him with a command line client.

- He didn't understand the need to leave logging inside an application to report errors. Because he used to ... I shit you not ... drive to his customers, plug into their server and debug their application using a debugger.

... props for using a debugger, but fuck me.

- Once, after an entire 2 days of tapping me on the shoulder every 15 mins for questions / issues, I had to stop and ask:

Me: "Have you googled it?"
C: "... eh, no"
Me: "can I ask why?"
C: "well, for me, I only google for something I don't know"
Me: "... well do you know what this error message means?"
C: "ah good point, i'll try this time"

... maybe he was A's stoner buddy?

- He burned through our free cloud usage allowance for a month, after 1 day, meaning he couldn't test anything else under his account. He left an application running, broadcasting a lot of data. Turns out the on / off button on the dashboard only worked for "on". He had been killing his terminal locally and didn't know how to "ctrl + c a cloud app" ... so left it running. His intention was to restart the app every time you are done using it ... but forgot.

- His issue with the previous one ... not any of his countless mistakes, not the lack of even trying to make the button work, no, no, not for C. C's issue is the cloud is "shit" for giving us such little allowances. (for the record in a month I had never used more than 5%).

- I had to explain environment variables and why they are necessary for passwords and tokens etc. He didn't know it wasn't ok to commit these into GitHub.

- At his project meetups with partners I had to repeatedly ask him to stop googling gifs and pay attention to the talks.

- He complained that we don't have 3 hour lunch breaks like his last place.

- He once copied and pasted the same function 450 times into a file as a load test ... are loops too mainstream nowadays?

You see C is our winner, because after 6 painful months (companies internal process / requirements) he actually achieved nothing. I really mean that, nothing. Every thing was so broken, so insecure / wide open, built without any kind of common sense or standards I had to delete it all and start again ... it took me 2 weeks.

I hope you've all enjoyed this series and will join me in praying for the return of my sanity ... I do miss it a lot.

Yours truly,
practiseSafeHex

Happened a few weeks ago but still awesome.

Me and a good friend have a website together but we don't monitor it too much.
He studied with me in the same class but went towards frontend/apps where I chose backend/servers/security. He knows how to do basic Linux stuff but that's about it.

We were at a party when he noticed that our site was offline. Walked over to me (because I manage the server) to notify me so I could look into it said I'd look into it (phone):
*visits site: nothing*
*online dig tool: got the server ip*
*remembered this one didn't have pubkey authentication - after three passwords attempts I'm in*

"service apache2 status"
*service doesn't exist*
*right, migrated this one from Apache to nginx....*
"history"
*ah, an nginx restart probably suffices...*
"service nginx restart"

BAM, site is reachable again.

*god damnit, lets encrypt cert expired...*
"history"
*sees command with certbot and our domain both in one*
"!892"
*20 seconds later: success message*
*service nginx reload*

BAM, site works securely again.

"Yo mate, check the site again"

Mate: 😶 w-w-what? *checks site and his watch* you started less than two minutes ago...?
Me: yeah..?
Mate: 😶 now this is why YOU manage our server and I don't 😐

His face was fucking gold. It wasn't that difficult for me (I do this daily) but to him, I was a God at that moment.

Awesome moment 😊

Fucking fuck fuck fucker fucking fuck

What a dumbass guy seriously. I have this colleague in my office who refuses to create a new branch because that will "ruin the single straight line". Are you seriously fucking kidding me??? The noobest guy ever doesnt know a third git command other than pulling and committing fucking nonsense. Why use git then? Just go back to creating zip files are maintain code. Fuck that guy too who hired him and now because of this fucking asshole I am not able to carry on my work.

Such so-called "developers" should be strapped to the back of a horse and the horse made to run on a gravel road for fuck's sake.. Fuck you man 🖕

!rant
So it turns out that my dad accidentally took my spare laptop on a work trip. He's about as non-tech as you can get, and that laptop runs...Arch Linux. Yeah.

(call from dad)
M: hi dad
D: what's your desktop password?
M: (confused) {Password}
D: okay.
(cuts the call)

M: *shrug*

(call from dad)
M: hi dad
D: so where is PowerPoint?! where's the Windows button?! I've been at this for half an hour now and I have to edit a presentation for tomorrow!!
M: (realizes what's happened) oh...uh...dad...that's.. Linux...
D: don't you people do anything the way it's supposed to be done?
M: uh...
D: ugh! So you can't edit PPTs on this?
M: (processing...LibreOffice isn't installed on the laptop, and he will have to use the command line to connect to the internet to use Office Online or Google Slides since the Deepin WiFi module keeps fucking up for some reason)
D: well?
M: (internal sigh) No, you can't edit PPTs on that.
D: wow.
(cuts the call)

He either thinks we're all useless or that we have godlike computer skills to be able to edit PPTs on Linux. Oh well.

(He managed to use the hotel's "workstation" to get it done, so all is well. I should tell him to change his password though, hotel computers have rubbish security.)

Navy story continued.
And continuing from the arp poisoning and boredom, I started scanning the network...
So I found plenty of WinXP computers, even some Win2k servers (I shit you not, the year was 201X) I decided to play around with merasploit a bit. I mean, this had to be a secure net, right?
Like hell it was.
Among the select douchebags I arp poisoned was a senior officer that had a VERY high idea for himself, and also believed he was tech-savvy. Now that, is a combination that is the red cloth for assholes like me. But I had to be more careful, as news of the network outage leaked, and rumours of "that guy" went amok, but because the whole sysadmin thing was on the shoulders of one guy, none could track it to me in explicit way. Not that i cared, actually, when I am pissed I act with all the subtleness of an atom bomb on steroids.
So, after some scanning and arp poisoning (changing the source MAC address this time) I said...
"Let's try this common exploit, it supposedly shouldn't work, there have been notifications about it, I've read them." Oh boy, was I in for a treat. 12 meterpreter sessions. FUCKING 12. The academy's online printer had no authentication, so I took the liberty of printing a few pages of ASCII jolly rogers (cute stuff, I know, but I was still in ITSec puberty) and decided to fuck around with the other PCs. One thing I found out is that some professors' PCs had the extreme password of 1234. Serious security, that was. Had I known earlier, I could have skipped a TON of pointless memorising...
Anyway, I was running amok the entire network, the sysad never had a chance on that, and he seemed preoccupied with EVERYTHING ELSE besides monitoring the net, like fixing (replacing) the keyboard for the commander's secretary, so...
BTW, most PCs had antivirus, but SO out of date that I didn't even need to encode the payload or do any other trick. An LDAP server was open, and the hashed admin password was the name of his wife. Go figure.
I looked at a WinXP laptop with a weird name, and fired my trusty ms08_067 on it. Passowrd: "aaw". I seriously thought that Ophcrack was broken, but I confirmed it. WTF? I started looking into the files... nothing too suspicious... wait a min, this guy is supposed to work, why his browser is showing porn?
Looking at the ""Deleted"" files (hah!) I fount a TON of documents with "SECRET" in them. Curious...
Decided to download everything, like the asshole I am, and restart his PC, AND to leave him with another desktop wallpaper and a text message. Thinking that he took the hint, I told the sysadmin about the vulnerable PCs and went to class...
In the middle of the class (I think it was anti-air warfare or anti-submarine warfare) the sysad burst through the door shouting "Stop it, that's the second-in-command's PC!".
Stunned silence. Even the professor (who was an officer). God, that was awkward. So, to make things MORE awkward (like the asshole I am) I burned every document to a DVD and the next day I took the sysad and went to the second-in-command of the academy.
Surprisingly he took the whole thing in quite the easygoing fashion. I half-expected court martial or at least a good yelling, but no. Anyway, after our conversation I cornered the sysad and barraged him with some tons of security holes, needed upgrades and settings etc. I still don't know if he managed to patch everything (I left him a detailed report) because, as I've written before, budget constraints in the military are the stuff of nightmares. Still, after that, oddly, most people wouldn't even talk to me.
God, that was a nice period of my life, not having to pretend to be interested about sports and TV shows. It would be almost like a story from highschool (if our highschool had such things as a network back then - yes, I am old).
Your stories?

As a developer in Germany, I don't understand why anything related to development like IDEs, git clients and source code documentation should be localized/translated.
Code is written in english, configuration files too. Any technology, any command name in a terminal, every name of a tool or code library, every keyword in a programming language is written in english. English is the language of every developer. And English is simply a required skill for a developer.
Yet almost everything nowadays is translated to many other languages, espacially MS products. That makes development harder for me.

My visual studio menus are a mess of random german/english entries due to 3rd party extensions.

My git client, "source tree" uses wierd translations of the words "push" and "commit". These commands are git features! They should not be translated!

Buttons and text labels in dev tools often cut the text off because they were designed for english and the translated text is bigger and does not fit anymore. Apparently no one is testing their software in translated mode.

And the worst of all: translated fucking exception and error massages! Good luck searching for them online.

Apple does one thing damn right. They are keeping all development related stuff english (IDE, documentation). Not wasting money on translations which no developer needs.

I really, honestly, am getting annoyed when someone tells me that "Linux is user-friendly". Some people seem to think that because they themselves can install Linux, that anyone can, and because I still use Windows I'm some sort of a noob.

So let me tell you why I don't use Linux: because it never actually "just works". I have tried, at the very least two dozen times, to install one distro or another on a machine that I owned. Never, not even once, not even *close*, has it installed and worked without failing on some part of my hardware.

My last experience was with Ubuntu 17.04, supposed to have great hardware and software support. I have a popular Dell Alienware machine with extremely common hardware (please don't hate me, I had a great deal through work with an interest-free loan to buy it!), and I thought for just one moment that maybe Ubuntu had reached the point where it just, y'know, fucking worked when installing it... but no. Not a chance.

It started with my monitors. My secondary monitor that worked fine on Windows and never once failed to display anything, simply didn't work. It wasn't detected, it didn't turn on, it just failed. After hours of toiling with bash commands and fucking around in x conf files, I finally figured out that for some reason, it didn't like my two IDENTICAL monitors on IDENTICAL cables on the SAME video card. I fixed it by using a DVI to HDMI adapter....

Then was my sound card. It appeared to be detected and working, but it was playing at like 0.01% volume. The system volume was fine, the speaker volume was fine, everything appeared great except I literally had no fucking sound. I tried everything from using the front output to checking if it was going to my display through HDMI to "switching the audio sublayer from alsa to whatever the hell other thing exists" but nothing worked. I gave up.

My mouse? Hell. It's a Corsair Gaming mouse, nothing fancy, it only has a couple extra buttons - none of those worked, not even the goddamn scrollwheel. I didn't expect the *lights* to work, but the "back" and "Forward" buttons? COME ON. After an hour, I just gave up.

My media keyboard that's like 15 years old and is of IBM brand obviously wasn't recognized. Didn't even bother with that one.

Of my 3 different network adapters (2 connectors, one wifi), only one physical card was detected. Bluetooth didn't work. At this point I was so tired of finding things that didn't work that I tried something else.

My work VPN... holy shit have you ever tried configuring a corporate VPN on Linux? Goddamn. On windows it's "next next next finish then enter your username/password" and on Linux it's "get this specific format TLS certificate from your IT with a private key and put it in this network conf and then run this whatever command to...." yeah no.

And don't get me started on even attempting to play GAMES on this fucking OS. I mean, even installing the graphic drivers? Never in my life have I had to *exit the GUI layer of an OS* to install a graphic driver. That would be like dropping down to MS-DOS on Windows to install Nvidia drivers. Holy shit what the fuck guys. And don't get me started on WINE, I ain't touching this "not an emulator emulator" with a 10-foot pole.

And then, you start reading online for all these problems and it's a mix of "here are 9038245 steps to fix your problem in the terminal" and "fucking noob go back to Windows if you can't deal with it" posts.

It's SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING, I spent a whole day trying to get a BASIC system up and running, where it takes a half-hour AT MOST with any version of Windows. I'm just... done.

I will give Ubuntu one redeeming quality, however. On the Live USB, you can use the `dd` command to mirror a whole drive in a few minutes. And when you're doing fucking around with this piece of shit OS that refuses to do simple things like "playing audio", `dd` will restore Windows right back to where it was as if Ubuntu never existed in the first place.

Thanks, `dd`. I wish you were on Windows. Your OS is the LEAST user friendly thing I've ever had to deal with.

When you login to a server through ssh for the first time with a specific domain or up address, you get a prompt asking to verify a signature with yes or no (on Linux at least).

That often goes well but sometimes when I already did that....:

ssh user@server
*types yes automatically and presses enter...........*
Neeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmm:
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
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yes^C
user@server: ~$
user@server: ~$ ^C
user@server: ~$ ^C
user@server: ~$ ^C
user@server: ~$ ^C
user@server: ~$ ^C

Nooooo not again 😅

So I finally got my head out of my ass and decided to install some OS on that 500MB RAM legacy craptop from earlier.

*installs Tiny Core Linux*

Hmm.. how do I install extra packages into this thing again? *Googles how to install packages*
Aha, extensions it's called.. and you install them through their little package manager GUI, and then you also have to dick around with some TCE directory, and boot options for that. Well I ain't gonna do that. Why the fuck would I need to dick around with that? Just install the fucking files in /bin, /var, /etc and whatever the fuck you need to like a decent distro. I'll fucking load them whenever I need them, BY EXECUTING THE FUCKING BINARY. But no, apparently that's not how TCL works.

Also, why the fuck is this keyboard still set to US? I'm using a Belgian keyboard for fuck's sake.. "loadkeys be-latin1"
> Command not found.

Okay... (fucking piece of shit) how do I change the fucking keyboard layout for this shit?!
*does the jazz hand routine required for that*
So apparently I need to install a package for that as well. Oh wait, an EXTENSION!! My bad. And then you can use "loadkmap < /usr/share/kmap/something/something" to load the keyboard layout. Except that it doesn't change the fucking keymap at all! ONE FUCKING JOB, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!

That's fucking it. No more dicking around in TCL. If I wanted to fuck around with the system this much, I'd have compiled my own custom Linux system. Maybe I can settle with Arch Linux, that's a familiar distro to me.. I can easily install openbox in that and call it a day. But this is an i686 machine.. Arch doesn't support that anymore, does it?

*does another jazz hand routine on Arch Linux 32 and sees that there's a community-maintained project just for that*

Oh God bless you fine Arch Linux users for making a community fork!! I fucking love you.. thank you so much!! Arch it'll be then <3

I found a cool project on GitHub. I forked it and added a simple dev server with the intent of making it more accessible which could lead to more activity = improved project. I created a PR with small concise commits with very informative messages.

The guy who owns the project comments and says "I don't want your dev server, I have an apache instance locally on my computer". I tell him "Ok sure, but wouldn't it be nice if everyone else also had a nice dev server which can be started with a single command?", and other people join the PR and agree with me that we should make it available for everyone.

But the fucking idiot doesn't care, "No, I prefer to use my apache server". YOU FUCKING ASS WIPE, why do you even put it up on GitHub if you don't want contributions to make your project better and more available? I saw other open PRs where he basically did the same thing, left a snarky comment without merging it. What a fucking tool. Worst spent time ever.

FUCK YOU

MOTHERFUCKING WINDOWS 10. YOU COCKROACH COCK SUCKING PIECE OF AQUAMAN'S LEFT NUT.

If I put you in hibernation I do NOT want you to WAKE THE FUCK UP WHEN ITS AROUND THAT TIME A NIGHT WHEN TEEN WOLF IS SPREADING HIS STD'S TO DIAMOND-SKINNED DOUCHEBAGS. (Middle of the night)
AND WAKE ME BECAUSE OF YOUR SOUND AND LIGHT.

Goddamnit how hard is it to let a computer hibernate, but no, they had to add shit functions that makes it update itself or something in the middle of the night.

I'm going to tear the functions out of your retro ass till you will fucking obey my every command. You will fucking hibernate when I say so till when I say so or I'll replace you with linux

Tried to modify a script again which pretty much installs a ready to use vpn server on a server.

Tried to modify it so that it takes arguments instead of manual input.

It is, fucking, yet again, quitting right after an apt install command.

Error exit code? Oh no, a perfectly fine fucking 0. Which means it ran successfully.

Successfully my fucking ass. You aren't even through half the motherfucking script!?

Fucking hell. Fuck my life sideways.

3 rants for the price of 1, isn't that a great deal!

1. HP, you braindead fucking morons!!!

So recently I disassembled this HP laptop of mine to unfuck it at the hardware level. Some issues with the hinge that I had to solve. So I had to disassemble not only the bottom of the laptop but also the display panel itself. Turns out that HP - being the certified enganeers they are - made the following fuckups, with probably many more that I didn't even notice yet.

- They used fucking glue to ensure that the bottom of the display frame stays connected to the panel. Cheap solution to what should've been "MAKE A FUCKING DECENT FRAME?!" but a royal pain in the ass to disassemble. Luckily I was careful and didn't damage the panel, but the chance of that happening was most certainly nonzero.
- They connected the ribbon cables for the keyboard in such a way that you have to reach all the way into the spacing between the keyboard and the motherboard to connect the bloody things. And some extra spacing on the ribbon cables to enable servicing with some room for actually connecting the bloody things easily.. as Carlos Mantos would say it - M-m-M, nonoNO!!!
- Oh and let's not forget an old flaw that I noticed ages ago in this turd. The CPU goes straight to 70°C during boot-up but turning on the fan.. again, M-m-M, nonoNO!!! Let's just get the bloody thing to overheat, freeze completely and force the user to power cycle the machine, right? That's gonna be a great way to make them satisfied, RIGHT?! NO MOTHERFUCKERS, AND I WILL DISCONNECT THE DATA LINES OF THIS FUCKING THING TO MAKE IT SPIN ALL THE TIME, AS IT SHOULD!!! Certified fucking braindead abominations of engineers!!!

Oh and not only that, this laptop is outperformed by a Raspberry Pi 3B in performance, thermals, price and product quality.. A FUCKING SINGLE BOARD COMPUTER!!! Isn't that a great joke. Someone here mentioned earlier that HP and Acer seem to have been competing for a long time to make the shittiest products possible, and boy they fucking do. If there's anything that makes both of those shitcompanies remarkable, that'd be it.

2. If I want to conduct a pentest, I don't want to have to relearn the bloody tool!

Recently I did a Burp Suite test to see how the devRant web app logs in, but due to my Burp Suite being the community edition, I couldn't save it. Fucking amazing, thanks PortSwigger! And I couldn't recreate the results anymore due to what I think is a change in the web app. But I'll get back to that later.

So I fired up bettercap (which works at lower network layers and can conduct ARP poisoning and DNS cache poisoning) with the intent to ARP poison my phone and get the results straight from the devRant Android app. I haven't used this tool since around 2017 due to the fact that I kinda lost interest in offensive security. When I fired it up again a few days ago in my PTbox (which is a VM somewhere else on the network) and today again in my newly recovered HP laptop, I noticed that both hosts now have an updated version of bettercap, in which the options completely changed. It's now got different command-line switches and some interactive mode. Needless to say, I have no idea how to use this bloody thing anymore and don't feel like learning it all over again for a single test. Maybe this is why users often dislike changes to the UI, and why some sysadmins refrain from updating their servers? When you have users of any kind, you should at all times honor their installations, give them time to change their individual configurations - tell them that they should! - in other words give them a grace time, and allow for backwards compatibility for as long as feasible.

3. devRant web app!!

As mentioned earlier I tried to scrape the web app's login flow with Burp Suite but every time that I try to log in with its proxy enabled, it doesn't open the login form but instead just makes a GET request to /feed/top/month?login=1 without ever allowing me to actually log in. This happens in both Chromium and Firefox, in Windows and Arch Linux. Clearly this is a change to the web app, and a very undesirable one. Especially considering that the login flow for the API isn't documented anywhere as far as I know.

So, can this update to the web app be rolled back, merged back to an older version of that login flow or can I at least know how I'm supposed to log in to this API in order to be able to start developing my own client?

I hear my intern yelling at Cortana in the other room. "Cortana, open keyboard!". He repeats this 5+ times. Issue is there is no keyboard connected so he just wants to use the on screen keyboard, and thinks Cortana will open it for him. Issue is the computer isn't hooked up to the Internet, and Cortana does not do that command without the internet.

Just grab a fucking keyboard!!!

What an absolute fucking disaster of a day. Strap in, folks; it's time for a bumpy ride!

I got a whole hour of work done today. The first hour of my morning because I went to work a bit early. Then people started complaining about Jenkins jobs failing on that one Jenkins server our team has been wanting to decom for two years but management won't let us force people to move to new servers. It's a single server with over four thousand projects, some of which run massive data processing jobs that last DAYS. The server was originally set up by people who have since quit, of course, and left it behind for my team to adopt with zero documentation.

Anyway, the 500GB disk is 100% full. The memory (all 64GB of it) is fully consumed by stuck jobs. We can't track down large old files to delete because du chokes on the workspace folder with thousands of subfolders with no Ram to spare. We decide to basically take a hacksaw to it, deleting the workspace for every job not currently in progress. This of course fucked up some really poorly-designed pipelines that relied on workspaces persisting between jobs, so we had to deal with complaints about that as well.

So we get the Jenkins server up and running again just in time for AWS to have a major incident affecting EC2 instance provisioning in our primary region. People keep bugging me to fix it, I keep telling them that it's Amazon's problem to solve, they wait a few minutes and ask me to fix it again. Emails flying back and forth until that was done.

Lunch time already. But the fun isn't over yet!

I get back to my desk to find out that new hires or people who got new Mac laptops recently can't even install our toolchain, because management has started handing out M1 Macs without telling us and all our tools are compiled solely for x86_64. That took some troubleshooting to even figure out what the problem was because the only error people got from homebrew was that the formula was empty when it clearly wasn't.

After figuring out that problem (but not fully solving it yet), one team starts complaining to us about a Github problem because we manage the github org. Except it's not a github problem and I already knew this because they are a Problem Team that uses some technical authoring software with Git integration but they only have even the barest understanding of what Git actually does. Turns out it's a Git problem. An update for Git was pushed out recently that patches a big bad vulnerability and the way it was patched causes problems because they're using Git wrong (multiple users accessing the same local repo on a samba share). It's a huge vulnerability so my entire conversation with them went sort of like:

"Please don't."
"We have to."
"Fine, here's a workaround, this will allow arbitrary code execution by anyone with physical or virtual access to this computer that you have sitting in an unlocked office somewhere."
"How do I run a Git command I don't use Git."

So that dealt with, I start taking a look at our toolchain, trying to figure out if I can easily just cross-compile it to arm64 for the M1 macbooks or if it will be a more involved fix. And I find all kinds of horrendous shit left behind by the people who wrote the tools that, naturally, they left for us to adopt when they quit over a year ago. I'm talking entire functions in a tool used by hundreds of people that were put in as a joke, poorly documented functions I am still trying to puzzle out, and exactly zero comments in the code and abbreviated function names like "gars", "snh", and "jgajawwawstai".

While I'm looking into that, the person from our team who is responsible for incident communication finally gets the AWS EC2 provisioning issue reported to IT Operations, who sent out an alert to affected users that should have gone out hours earlier.

Meanwhile, according to the health dashboard in AWS, the issue had already been resolved three hours before the communication went out and the ticket remains open at this moment, as far as I know.

Windows troubleshooting:
- Works on my system, therefore it's not an issue.
- Must be a hardware error.
- Obviously it's just cheap hardware.
- Have you tried turning it off and on again?
- Here's some obscure error code that leads nowhere.
- Have you tried "sfc /scannow"?
AS IF SFC IS A FUCKING SILVER BULLET!!!
- Our Indian support chap from answers.microsoft.com will help you.

RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Solution: quietly weep and reinstall your system.

Linux troubleshooting:
- There are good quality log files.
- You can run the program from the command-line and read both stdout and stderr from it.
- You can usually run the program with high verbosity options to help you track down the error.
- Even daemons can have their commands spawned from a dedicated shell, to see why they failed.
- Usually it's a configuration error and you can easily edit the configuration file.
- More often than not, the program will tell you why it failed.

Solution: usually easy to find.

I fucking love Windows. Because you know, it's so easy to troubleshoot and the support is so great!!!

cw: I need a server to put my node backend

me: sure, I'll run a docker container for you

cw: nice, I've never worked with docker but I learn quickly, I'm already reading the Docker file docs

me: no wait, you don't need to learn anything, you'll be inside the container, so you only need an ssh connection and that's it

cw: this Dockerfile stuff is really complicated, it'll take me a while, but it's ok you don't have to worry, I like learning new things

me: you won't need that, just imagine it's a cloud server with Ubuntu installed, you only have to use it, I'll put node, git and ssh there for you

cw: ok got it, I'll have to learn the commands to run the docker, I'm on windows but I can use PowerShell and stuff I'll figure it out

me: ...

cw: ssh is a linux command right? does it have a push or publish option? how do you upload files there

me: ...you can use a ftp client but you'll need ssh to run the node server

cw: ok, I'm almost done with the Dockerfile, I only need to add git and nodejs, I'm starting to understand this thing...

me thinking: yeah keep doing that, you're such a crack, such a quick learner...

This son of a bitch is either a retard or is doing it on purpose and laughing at me the whole time, making my life so miserable, but I'm about to go insane with this dude, I'm proud of how I've been able to control myself, BUT ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL LOSE MY COOL AND FORCE THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO DRINK A BIG POT OF BOILING, SALTY AND STINKING VOMIT WITH A SIDE OF STEAMING DIARRHEAL GREEN DOG SHIT WITH WHITE CHOCOLATE CHIPS WHILE I PUT MY OLD CRT MONITOR TO GOOD USE BY BEATING HIS FUCKING HEAD WITH IT!!!

My now employees were the ones that interviewed me intially when I started workt where I am at.

Their right of the bad question was: "What is your favorite star wars movie, and from the expanded universs which is your favorite character"

We still joke about it. Because even tho I am a fan of the franchise (not much from the latest episodes tbh) I am not on their level of knowledge..... the amount of references they throw at me and the amount of lines these assholes are able to spit on command is, to this day, pretty fucking amazing imo

I started working in a company where they use scala/akka stack, that requires a huge amount of hw resources to compile and debug, so my boss bought me a new laptop: a MacBook Pro. I came from a Dell with Linux Fedora, and now:
FUCK YOU APPLE YOUR COMPUTERS ARE SO SHITTY
JUST EXPLAIN ME WHY THE FUCKING KEYBOARD IS SO A PIECE OF SHIT WITH THE FUCKING COMMAND KEY
FUCK YOU COMMAND KEY
FUCK YOU MAC OS WITH YOUR SHITTY POLICIES YOU CAN'T INSTALL THIS PROGRAM BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO ENABLE UNKNOWN RESOURCES
FUCK YOU BREW AND BREW CASK WHAT THE FUCK OF TWO SHOULD I USE
FUCK THE STUPID TOUCHBAR I WANT THE FUCKING ESC, DELETE, F1, F2 AND SO ON
FUCK YOU APPLE YOUR MAC IS FRAGILE AS FUCK I CAN'T THROW THAT FROM THE FIFTH FLOOR OF MY BUILDING LIKE A THINKPAD
FUCK YOU SAFARI THAT YOU DON'T REFRESH THE PAGE WITH F5

I have a small gif for you just to explain how much shitty is Mac OS

@netikras since when does proprietary mean bad?

Lemme tell you 3 stories.

CISCO AnyConnect:
- come in to the office
- use internal resources (company newsletter, jira, etc.)
- connect to client's VPN using Cisco AnyConnect
- lose access to my company resources, because AnyConnect overwrites routing table (rather normal for VPN clients)
- issue a route command updating routing table so you could reach confluence page in the intranet
- route command executes successfully, `route -n` shows nothing has changed
- google this whole WTF case
- Cisco AnyConnect constantly overwrites OS routing table to ENFORCE you to use VPN settings and nothing else.

Sooo basically if you want to check your company's email, you have to disconnect from client's VPN, check email and reconnect again. Neat!

Can be easily resolved by using opensource VPN client -- openconnect

CISCO AnyConnect:
- get a server in your company
- connect it to client's VPN and keep the VPN running for data sync. VPN has to be UP at all times
- network glitch [uh-oh]
- VPN is no longer working, AnyConnect still believes everything is peachy. No reconnect attempts.
- service is unable to sync data w/ client's systems. Data gets outdated and eventually corrupted

OpenConnect (OSS alternative to AnyConnect) detects all network glitches, reports them to the log and attempts reconnect immediatelly. Subsequent reconnect attempts getting triggered with longer delays to not to spam network.

SYMANTEC VIP (alleged 2FA?):
- client's portal requires Sym VIP otp code to log in
- open up a browser in your laptop
- navigate to the portal
- enter your credentials
- click on a Sym VIP icon in the systray
- write down the shown otp number
- log in

umm... in what fucking way is that a secure 2FA? Everything is IN the same fucking device, a single click away.

Can be easily solved by opensource alternatives to Sym VIP app: they make HTTP calls to Symantec to register a new token and return you the whole totp url. You can convert that url to a qr code and scan it w/ your phone (e.g. Google's Authenticator). Now you have a true 2FA.

Proprietary is not always bad. There are good propr sw too. But the ones that are core to your BAU and are doing shit -- well these ARE bad. and w/o an oppurtunity to workaround/fix it yourself.

Python seems so ... simple, yet beautiful.

(It's just ... a feeling, I only did the codecademy course and doodled on the command line by now.)

But this whitespace/tab thing and the fact that missing semicolons don't result in errors is just fucking confusing.

Tl;dr; even password as simple as 123! Could be too dificult to use for unauth access. Even if you write it down for someone! Some minor HID config changes could be unbeatable for some people.

I always leave my lappy at the office and I leave it turned on and connected so I could connect to it from home if I really need to. The holiday is not an exception. I left it connected too.

Forba few weeks I was trying to connect to it from home to doublecheck xpra command I was using. Without any luck. The lappy was unreachable all this time :/

today some people came in the office. I reached out to one of them I trust the most to check on my lappy. And he says it's charger is unplugged. Fucking janitors...

I ask to plug it back in and turn it on. LUKS password prompt pops up. I send him the pw via sms along with a note that I'm using non-EN kbd layout. He confirms he'll manage.

20 minutes later he pings me "are you sure the pw is correct?". Yes it is! 5 more minutes later he pings me "... Is this how you type numbers and symbols with your layout?" nope, it's the other way around!

10 more minutes later he plugs in his own kbd, still fails. Sets up my layout in his lappy, spends a few minutes using it, plugs it back to my lappy and FINALLY enters the pw correctly.

Come on dude.. 😁

*gets annoyed by how vi command in Ubuntu WSL points to vim*
To be clear, that's due to update-alternatives in Ubuntu, not WSL specifically.
*le me ducking how to install vi instead, because vim in WSL has scrolling issues*

"install vi ubuntu"
> How do I install and get started with vim/vi? - Ask Ubuntu
> apt - Vim installation in Ubuntu 14.04 - Ask Ubuntu
> Ubuntu Linux: Install vim Text Editor - nixCraft

-.- I'm not looking for vim ffs, I already have that installed.

"install vi ubuntu -vim"
> Same fucking results

"!g install vi ubuntu -vim"
> Installing the VI Perl Toolkit from Source Code—Linux - VMware
> FedoraDirectoryServerClientHowto - Community Help Wiki - Ubuntu …
> Learn How To Use Linux vi Editor And Its Commands - LinOxide

Oh for fuck's sake!!!
So here's my question because apparently search engines clearly can't point me to it, and Ubuntu doesn't seem to have vi as "vi" in their repositories either. Do our Canonical overlords allow people to actually make /usr/bin/vi actually be fucking vi?

I'M BACK TO MY WEBDEV ADVENTURES GUYS! IT TOOK ME LIKE 4 MONTHS TO STOP BEING SO FUCKING DEPRESSED SO I CAN ACTUALLY STAND TO WORK ON IT AGAIN

I learned that the linear gradient looks cool as FUCK. Honestly not too fond of the colors I have right now, but I just wanted to have something there cause I can change it later. The page has evolved a bunch from my original concept.

My original concept was the bar in the middle just being a URL bar and having links on the sides. If I had kept that, it would have taken me a few hours to get done. But as time went on when I was working on it, my idea kept changing. Added the weather (had a forecast for a while but the code was gross and I never looked at the next days anyways, so I got rid of it and kept the current data). I wanted to attempt an RSS reader, but yesterday I was about to start writing the JavaScript to parse the feeds, then decided "nah", ended up making the space into a todo list.

The URL bar changed into a full command bar (writing the functions for the commands now, also used to config smaller things, such as the user@hostname part, maybe colors, weather data for city and API key, etc)....also it can open URLs and subreddits (that part works flawlessly). The bar uses a regex to detect if it's a legit URL (even added shit so I don't need http:// or https://), and if it's not, just search using duckduckgo (maybe I'll add a config option there too for search engines).

At this very moment it doesn't even take a second to fully load. It fetches weather data from openweathermap, parses it, and displays it, then displays the "user" name grabbing a localstorage value.

I'm considering adding a sidebar with links (configurable obviously, I want everything to be dynamic, so someone else could use my page if they wanted), but I'm not too sure about it.

It's not on git yet because I was waiting until I get some shit finished today before I commit. From the picture, I want to know if anyone has any suggestions for it. Also note that I am NOT a designer. I can't design for shit.

Managed to get a fucking meterpreter shell without human help for the first time today!
It was a VulnHub challenge, for the record, but damn that felt good!

For those who don't know; this is a remote command execution thing ran on compromised systems by (malicious) attackers using the Metasploit framework.

I have done tons of pentesting but not on system level so this is quite an accomplishment for me 😊

Taking a database class, prof insists on using Microsoft Sql server 2014. "Okay cool" said the Microsoft surface fan boy inside me as I installed it. "Holy shit this is using 6 fucking GBs?? Eh it's okay I trust" again said my Microsoft fanboy self. Finished installing, makes queries and it works. Cool.

Go to run Sql server again next day and get an error (nothing displayed, just a box pop up and then a crash) I use some Google skills. Change a bunch of shit and still it persists. "Just uninstall it and reinstall again" says my prof. I do so except random errors during installation saying Sql already exists even though I just uninstalled it. "Maybe it's some registry keys messing with it!" do some digging, remove unneeded registry keys and try again. Installation finished but a whack of features say failed to install.

I sit and try to work this shit out for the next four hours (not paying attention to my class) and still can't get Sql to completely uninstall itself. I try iobit uninstaller, command line uninstalling, fucking everything but still not working. Slowly my fanboy side is wishing that the windows symbol on the back of my machine was an apple.

I ended up having to backup all my files and reinstalling windows to get it working properly. Holy sweet fuck. The worst part is when this class is done ill probably need to reinstall yet again to save the 6gb it's sucking up. So if you're not sure whether you need something as heavy as Microsoft Sql server or not for your application, don't use it! It's a fucking virus that is super difficult to remove.

Tldr: life long Microsoft fanboy becomes apple convert in a day of using Microsoft Sql server.

This is a story of suffering and despair.

I'm working on a build system for our firmware. Nothing major, just a cmake script to build everything and give me an elf file.

I'm fairly new to cmake at that point, and so it's not abundantly clear to me how the `addDirectory` command works.

Now those of you with experience in cmake will say:
"Hold on there champ, this is not a cmake command, the real thing is add_subdirectory()"

Well, that is not what chatGPT told me. I still trusted the fucking thing at this point, it explained that it was in fact a command, and that it added all subsequent source files from a given folder. When I asked it to provide me with sources, it gave me a dead link in a cmake dot com subdomain.

I spent FUCKING HOURS trying to understand why I couldn't find that shitty command, I looked through that shitty page they call documentation through and through, I fucking checked previous and nightly versions, the command was nowhere to be found.

Until I found an old as time post in stackOverflow...
Someone had made a macro with that name, that did what GPT had described...

On the positive side, I know cmake now. I also don't use this fucking deep Learning piece of shit. Unless you write simple JS or blinking LEDs with Arduino it codes like a Junior, high on every kind of glue on the market.

Have a couple I want to air today.

First was at my first gig as a dev, 4-5 months out of school. I was the only dev at a startup where the owner was a computer illiterate psycopath with serious temper tantrums. We're talking slamming doors, shouting at you while you are on the phone with customers, the works...

Anyways, what happened was that we needed to do an update in our database to correct some data on a few order lines regarding a specific product. Guess who forgot the fucking where-clause... Did I mention this boss was a cheap ass, dollar stupid, penny wise asshole that refused to have anything but the cheapest hosting? No backups, no test/dev/staging environment, no local copies... Yeah, live devving in prod, fucking all customers with a missing semi-colon (or where clause).

Amazingly, his sheer incompetance saved my ass, because even if I explained it, he didn't get it, and just wanted it fixed as best we could.

The second time was at a different company where we were delivering managed network services for a few municipalities. I was working netops at that time, mostly Cisco branded stuff, from Voice-over-IP and wifi to switches and some routing.

One day I was rolling out a new wireless network, and had to add the VLAN to the core switch on the correct port. VLAN's, for those who don't know, are virtual networks you can use to run several separated networks on the same cable.

To add a VLAN on a Cisco switch one uses the command:

switchport access vlan add XYZ

My mistake was omitting the 'add', which Cisco switches happily accept without warning. That command however can be quite disruptive as it replaces all of the excisting VLAN's with the new one.

Not a big deal on a distribution switch supplying an office floor or something, but on a fucking core switch in the datacenter this meant 20K user had no internet, no access to the applications in the DS, no access to Active Directory etc. Oh and my remote access to that switch also went down the drain...

Luckily a colleague of mine was on site with a console cable and access to config backups. Shit was over within 15 minutes. My boss at that time was thankfully a pragmatic guy who just responded "Well, at least you won't make that mistake again" when we debriefed him after the dust settled.

me@termux $ su -c pm list packages
android.os.DeadObjectException: Transaction failed on small parcel; remote process probably died at [...]

Hmm, strange.. wasn't that the proper command? 🤔
Maybe it's SELinux that's at it again? It's giving permission errors with /sys/class/power_supply/battery/capacity as well, which can only be solved by disabling SELinux it seems.

me@termux $ su -c setenforce 0
me@termux $ su -c pm list packages
(Gives list)

So it was SELinux after all.. FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!

Bloody Windows kept waking up after a few seconds of being suspended. Someone here mentioned it could be the mouse, so I disabled its function to wake the pc . And you know what? That piece of trash windows still kept waking up for no reason. Makes me angry.

So I found this magic command 'powercfg/lastwake', which shows the reason for the last wake. And look at that! The fucking realtek network shitcard is allowed to wake windows.

Why would windows enable that on its own? Why? Because I for sure did not make this change and suspend was working for me until a few months ago (yes, these kind of problems take me very long to fix, even though it would tske only two minutes).

Want to make someone's life a misery? Here's how.

Don't base your tech stack on any prior knowledge or what's relevant to the problem.

Instead design it around all the latest trends and badges you want to put on your resume because they're frequent key words on job postings.

Once your data goes in, you'll never get it out again. At best you'll be teased with little crumbs of data but never the whole.

I know, here's a genius idea, instead of putting data into a normal data base then using a cache, lets put it all into the cache and by the way it's a volatile cache.

Here's an idea. For something as simple as a single log lets make it use a queue that goes into a queue that goes into another queue that goes into another queue all of which are black boxes. No rhyme of reason, queues are all the rage.

Have you tried: Lets use a new fangled tangle, trust me it's safe, INSERT BIG NAME HERE uses it.

Finally it all gets flushed down into this subterranean cunt of a sewerage system and good luck getting it all out again. It's like hell except it's all shitty instead of all fiery.

All I want is to export one table, a simple log table with a few GB to CSV or heck whatever generic format it supports, that's it.

So I run the export table to file command and off it goes only less than a minute later for timeout commands to start piling up until it aborts. WTF. So then I set the most obvious timeout setting in the client, no change, then another timeout setting on the client, no change, then i try to put it in the client configuration file, no change, then I set the timeout on the export query, no change, then finally I bump the timeouts in the server config, no change, then I find someone has downloaded it from both tucows and apt, but they're using the tucows version so its real config is in /dev/database.xml (don't even ask). I increase that from seconds to a minute, it's still timing out after a minute.

In the end I have to make my own and this involves working out how to parse non-standard binary formatted data structures. It's the umpteenth time I have had to do this.

These aren't some no name solutions and it really terrifies me. All this is doing is taking some access logs, store them in one place then index by timestamp. These things are all meant to be blazing fast but grep is often faster. How the hell is such a trivial thing turned into a series of one nightmare after another? Things that should take a few minutes take days of screwing around. I don't have access logs any more because I can't access them anymore.

The terror of this isn't that it's so awful, it's that all the little kiddies doing all this jazz for the first time and using all these shit wipe buzzword driven approaches have no fucking clue it's not meant to be this difficult. I'm replacing entire tens of thousands to million line enterprise systems with a few hundred lines of code that's faster, more reliable and better in virtually every measurable way time and time again.

This is constant. It's not one offender, it's not one project, it's not one company, it's not one developer, it's the industry standard. It's all over open source software and all over dev shops. Everything is exponentially becoming more bloated and difficult than it needs to be. I'm seeing people pull up a hundred cloud instances for things that'll be happy at home with a few minutes to a week's optimisation efforts. Queries that are N*N and only take a few minutes to turn to LOG(N) but instead people renting out a fucking off huge ass SQL cluster instead that not only costs gobs of money but takes a ton of time maintaining and configuring which isn't going to be done right either.

I think most people are bullshitting when they say they have impostor syndrome but when the trend in technology is to make every fucking little trivial thing a thousand times more complex than it has to be I can see how they'd feel that way. There's so bloody much you need to do that you don't need to do these days that you either can't get anything done right or the smallest thing takes an age.

I have no idea why some people put up with some of these appliances. If you bought a dish washer that made washing dishes even harder than it was before you'd return it to the store.

Every time I see the terms enterprise, fast, big data, scalable, cloud or anything of the like I bang my head on the table. One of these days I'm going to lose my fucking tits.

Fresh internship story (Part 2)

I just realized how dumb my temporary boss really is and how much he loves to command everyone.
I told him that I am going earlier a few days ago and he got pissed lol.
He is someone who thinks he knows everything, but he does not.
He blames everything on everyone else.
He is never wrong, we are always wrong. That is probably what he is always thinking.
Clients who enter the store are precious (makes sense-you have to handle clients well, to get more bucks), but the thing is that he even screams near the clients at us. Besides of that I am new there. Be a little bit more patient, fucking prick.
Imho he is too old for the tech industry.
He loves to use the workers as slaves.
Do you work on a laptop rn? Well... fuck that. He has a new task waiting for you.
He keeps interrupting me every 5 to 10 minutes while I am focused.
Random dialogue from today:
me:"the client did a win10 upgrade and not a regular windows update"
boss:"nope. that is a windows update."
me (internally): should I show him the folder called "Windows10.Upgrade" and the "windows.old" folder both with the same creation date in "c:"? nah, fuck that. he is gonna put himself up again. do not want to have a stronger headache than this one I am having rn. (btw. I usually do not have headaches. I get headaches like once in 5 years, but since 4 days I have it every day.)
I am sick of this.
Today I had the urge to fucking grab his fucking "fuck me please" eyes out and eat them while he hears the explosive sounds his seperated eyes do. I still want to enjoy the rest of my life without going into a prison tho.

I once had to deal with GoDaddy customer support telling me their servers only support putty for SSH.
Well, fuck you! I use Linux and I SSH with a single command in terminal, no doubt putty is great but get your senses straight that putty is not the only way to SSH when you are being customer support for a tech company, don't just fucking recite a phrase list. Besides, they should understand Windows with putty is not the only way to SSH into servers, juicessh via Android, openssh via Linux, etc...

*btw, before you all rant about me buying from GoDaddy, I was lead dev for a startup few years back and they had already bought it from GoDaddy. Ofcourse they also provide free offers along with an order, which often includes email addresses, annoying support, gut-wrenching quality of service access...

my staff got selected to go do something RETARDED on site when all restrictions on the city have been lifted and the fucking numbers of covid-19 cases have been rising, last week 4 people fucking DIED and they wanted to put my guys for some RETARDED SHIT THAT can be completely ignored in which they would deal with countless of RETARDS that as I know will probably be ignoring all safety precautions and getting everyone fucking SICK.

I don't give a fuck, my employees are high risk personell, if they get sick they might fucking die, I said no to fucking everyone and had the head of my department to back me up. Fuck this shit man I am so tired of this pandemic since it had made everyone 10 billion percent-o more retarded than they already were.

If the head of department ignores it I will instruct my people to just ignore that shit and don't make themselves present at that bullshit ass fucking event.

See what the fuck they do. I treat my employees as if they were my soldiers, I know what leadership is and they are not making me fucking budge, if your command is bullshit i will fucking say no and you can go ahead and do whatever the fuck you want with that shit, just based on my title and experience I can go where the fuck I want and you will eat dick.

Luckily for me the HOD is on the same boat, he thinks this shit is fucking stupid.

Master/Slave
Fuck you guys. Honestly most of the rants i've read concerning python and their abolishme t of sait terms where fucking butthurt. "What virgin suggested this", "people shouldn't be offended, it's just a name" and so on.

I do agree with every one saying a name shouldn't matter (readability is a different story! However parent/child or producer/consumer IMHO preserve that). So why are you fucking offended when it is changed to parent/child or produver/consumer? Does it affect you in any way? You know there's the `sed` command, plus IntelliJ (and most other IDEs) have a quite good support for renaming/refactoring stuff.

By reacting this way, by beeing offended all you do is proving the point. Words can offend people. I personally don't care how it's called. So far I always used master/slave and didn't think twice about it. But then again if someone of my coworkers or friends would feel threatened by these words, I try to avoid them. Naming diesn't matter to me, nor the compiler. So fuck, if it makes people happy or feeling save then lets change it.

What the fuck do you gain by sticking to those terms anyways?

I'm forced by my job to use this fucking unusable piece of horse shit also know as a Windows operating system.

And it's not only that I have experienced every fucking corner case bug that is possible to occur in our universe.

Not only that that for last 2 years I seen more blue screen than blue sky.

Not only that forced updates fucked my schedules so many times that now I'm really *afraid* to turn off my computer off because I have zero guarantee that I will be able to restart it in a reasonable amount of time.

No, neither of those broke me.

The thing that kills me everyday is, piece by piece ...

WHY THE FUCK THERE IS NO SINGLE, USEABLE, SANE TERMINAL EMULATOR ON WINDOWS

I JUST WANT TO TYPE SOME COMMANDS, COPY/PASTE TEXT AND SCROLL

IS IT TO MUCH ?????

FUCK CMD
FUCK POWERSHELL
FUCK WSL
FUCK ALL THOSE WANKY THIRD-PARTY EMULATORS
FUCK EVERY-COMMAND-LINE-REALATED THING ON WINDOWS

FUCKING USLESS SHIT
CANT EVEN DO SOME SSH COPY/PASTE SHIT
WITHOUT SOME WEIRD CHARACTERS POPING OUT EVERYWHERE.

AND FUCK THAT EVERY ONE OF THOSE MUST HAVE TOTTALY DIFFERENT SET OF KEY SHORTCUTS

AND THAT FUCKING BELL
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN PUT A FUCKING BELL SOUND AS DEFAULT SETTING ??

GO TO HELL MICROSOFT

I WANT MY LINUX BACK

Finally got a new job! Outta here!

Just got out of a meeting that I drove half an hour for (that could easily have been a damn phone call), for hand off stuff with the agency my company has hired to replace me.

I've talked to their senior dev a few times in the past, and he always struck me as an arrogant asshole. I assumed this meant that he had some level of competence to justify this attitude, but evidently not. Turns out he and his employees are a bunch of fucking idiots who don't even know how to use the command line, or anything but a cms with stock themes.

I'm taking all of the specific public stuff I've done for my employer off my resume as soon as I get back, because these dudes are going to fuck it up worse than a soup sandwich.

fdisk, cfdisk, diskpart and other tools CAN SUCK MY DICK.

I needed to restore my raspberry pi microsd from 200ish MB back to 16 GB and could find NO WAY of restoring it from my pc. maybe there is some ajbd -asdkasd -adkahdh IUYGFG_&38726283746 sdkfjksjf command that does that but I don't give a shit.

I plugged it into my camera instead. One second and my microsd was restored.

Canon doesn't care about your fancy partitions and other shit, it's just fucking blasting, it is like IN YO FACE. I love it.

Today, in the course of my job, I said...

FFS. I HATE WINDOWS.

It has begun.

Took me five minutes to ssh into the Linux EC2 and get the Jenkins agent installed, configured, and running. Half a fucking hour for Windows Server 2012.

1) Can't ssh to it, so I connect via AWS console... Which means I have to install MS Remote Desktop. WHATEVER. FINE. It's not like ssh is quick and easy or anything.

2) Can't just use the command line, run the .jar &, cntl-z, and bg then log off. Noooo. I have to install the unpacked binaries as a fucking SERVICE. FINE. WHATEVER.

I'm so glad we have a Windows guy that does most of this shit. I can't stand it.

Today I fucked Up by making friend install Linux when he doesn't even know what OS is.

Friend's Windows 7 broke. Unbootable & unfixable. I told him to reinstall. He has no idea how so he told me he will rent a PC (apparently that's a thing) until he buys a new one (he wanted it anyways). I told him it's bullshit to rent for PC when yours is totally ok only without OS.

He agreed and that's where I fucked Up. I told him how to make bootable flash disks(it was pain to get some info from him tho..) and he said he downloaded cracked Win7.. I told him it's suicide to use cracked OS for MANY fucking reasons. He agreed and I told him to install Ubuntu.... I thought it's easy that even my grandma could use it...... Well, apparently I was, in technical terms, "FUCKING WRONG"(all caps cuz tech terms).

He wasn't even able to Google how to install Steam on Ubuntu(apt install steam?) ... Constantly asking me "well and what should i write to Google?" And other shit..

I Always woke up to messages From him like "This shit doesn't work I'mma uninstall it" and I Always responed in one command or first Google result and it suddenly started to work.

After 2 days he gave up and is using cracked Win7. Can't wait for his reaction when I pwn him on nearest LAN party 😂 Maybe he will reconsider using cracked OS.

Anyway I learn from my Mistake. Just fuck me...

You know what a fucking good place for 1000s of mp4s, pdfs, doc files, exes and svgs is? Yeah, the bloddy SVN,which mirrors to git.
And how about a ibm websphere install zip with tiny 1.3gb?
And of cause you store your fuckin perl and Shellscripts, that have been written by a plain lunatic and that are responsible for installing the crap in the repo.
What? One repo for one component? Nah, cramp like 150 different projects into on repo.
And the most important scripts have to be kept unversionized ... For reasons.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg of shit.
Btw. websphere ships its own apache2.2 and its own security lib and its own openssl compilation, with ibm java ... Filesystem hierarchy standard? Dafuq? If you want to find something it better be like where is waldo - right, IBM? And command arguements? Man pages, usable documentation, usable deployment? How did any of this ever seem like a good idea to anyone?
Go get a koloscopy with a submarine periscope, IBM.

I used to be a sysadmin and to some extent I still am. But I absolutely fucking hated the software I had to work with, despite server software having a focus on stability and rigid testing instead of new features *cough* bugs.

After ranting about the "do I really have to do everything myself?!" for long enough, I went ahead and did it. Problem is, the list of stuff to do is years upon years long. Off the top of my head, there's this Android application called DAVx5. It's a CalDAV / CardDAV client. Both of those are extensions to WebDAV which in turn is an extension of HTTP. Should be simple enough. Should be! I paid for that godforsaken piece of software, but don't you dare to delete a calendar entry. Don't you dare to update it in one place and expect it to push that change to another device. And despite "server errors" (the client is fucked, face it you piece of trash app!), just keep on trying, trying and trying some more. Error handling be damned! Notifications be damned! One week that piece of shit lasted for, on 2 Android phones. The Radicale server, that's still running. Both phones however are now out of sync and both of them are complaining about "400 I fucked up my request".

Now that is just a simple example. CalDAV and CardDAV are not complicated protocols. In fact you'd be surprised how easy most protocols are. SMTP email? That's 4 commands and spammers still fuck it up. HTTP GET? That's just 1 command. You may have to do it a few times over to request all the JavaScript shit, but still. None of this is hard. Why do people still keep fucking it up? Is reading a fucking RFC when you're implementing a goddamn protocol so damn hard? Correctness be damned, just like the memory? If you're one of those people, kill yourself.

So yeah. I started writing my own implementations out of pure spite. Because I hated the industry so fucking much. And surprisingly, my software does tend to be lightweight and usually reasonably stable. I wonder why! Maybe it's because I care. Maybe people should care more often about their trade, rather than those filthy 6 figures. There's a reason why you're being paid that much. Writing a steaming pile of dogshit shouldn't be one of them.

You think americans are weird with their imperialistic units [inch, ounce, yard, pound, mile, ...]?

You think canadians are weird with their mixture of imperialistic and metric units [miles, liters, ...]?

Well I think we are all weird with our am/pm nomenclature when we start counting at 12 and end with 11 [12pm, 1pm, 2pm, ..., 11pm, 12-fucking-AM]

good luck making sense of that one!
"please run this command at 12pm sharp" -- is that noon or midnight? Did the chap writing this know which is which?

What game engine would you recommend to an indie developer? The type who can't afford a fucking server to run the bloated and buggy unity editor but is actually a developer so isn't afraid of typing.
I've had enough of the improper sandboxing (will crash bc of game scripts), tempfile-based crash-unaware instance tracking (won't restart afterwards) and lack of UI scaling (seriously, that's like accessibility/retina support basics) that is the unity editor. If they had command line tools I'd use them happily.

XCode you fucking piece of shit...

So I just wanted to process my ios app to the app store and start the archive process. All of the sudden:
Command CodeSign failed with a nonzero exit code

What? So there is an error and you cannot tell me the error code? All information you give me that it isn't zero!? Wow... Amazing... What a great user experience. Maybe it cannot resolve the error? Maybe it is some external tool Apple has no access to and that is the only valid error they can throw at us?

Oh hell no! It has something to do with the keychain access! But why tell the user? That wouldn't be as much fun as just tell it is a nonzero error, isn't it apple?!

In the end locking and unlocking my key chain solved the problem... Thanks for nothing XCode!

I would like to stop and genuinely thank the devs and anyone that contributed to NW.js for allowing users to work outside the sandbox. Fucking sandboxes these days make developing editors and tooling a bunch of bullshit hassle. I understand why, but it makes an entire class of software that much more difficult to develop.

And on a semirelated note, I decided to go with nw.js because unlike electron, I don't have to tell users "just install these two gigabytes of npm dependencies *from off the net after already downloading the main application*, dependencies that could break at any time at all for any reason."

Does anyone even bundle their dependencies any more or is this something only clinically insane people like myself do?

Because last I checked most users still don't know how to debug console autobarf when a single command goes awry due to something obscure like a version conflict between two brittle cogs in the organ grinder known as package management.

Edit: also, nw.js startup times and memory requirements are relatively sane compared to electron.

I knew this might be an issue, but really Linux just sucks balls. It may not be Linux's fault, but the user experience could be a fuck ton better.

Spent 1.5 hours trying to get mint installed on second drive. It works fine if you don't want to do anything with it.

As you can probably surmise I died on getting the gpu driver installed. Just starts to a black screen. No amount of juggling is helping. It just refuses to show the screen with an nvidia driver installed. What is worse is that settings that might help are not set. Like nomodeset in grub. If you know some drivers fuck up the grub interface then add nomodeset and not leave it up to the user to "figure this shit out". Because users are tired of figuring this shit out.

Really really fucking disappointed. I thought to myself: lets install steam and see how it does. The reality: fucking stuck for 1.5 hours on trying to boot into x with graphics acceleration and failing.

Many of you hate on windows, but one thing it has going for it. It doesn't do fucked up shit like this. It has failsafes that try and account for this.

Fuck you linux. You need to fucking grow up and stop relying on users to fix every damn thing in the command line. Go back to server where you belong.

I know I will get the "I told you so" messages, but guess what? The computer I got doesn't come preinstalled with windows. You have to pay to get it. At this point windows is the only fucking viable solution to make my shit work.

Nvidia, go die in a fire bitch. Fix your fucking Linux support you worthless shit heads.

This has been a rant brought to you by "the pain of others". I hope you enjoyed the experience.

PS, I love you all. Even the "I told you so" bitches.

I’m studying at uni remotely at the moment. I’m taking a software engineering class. I love developing software so I was super excited about this course. First assignment is to make a tic tac toe game in python. I finish the assignment super fast within the first hour of our first class.

We end up spending the rest of the fucking semester on this fucking program. No improvements, nothing. Literally just staring at this less than 200 line command line tic tac toe game talking about the same fucking shit every class.

Our fucking final is a presentation about this fucking program. The entire class is going to present the same command line python tic tac toe game

People told me that in the past, this class would find a local client and fulfill a request (making a website, etc)

However, now there’s a new prof teaching this course.

Best way I can describe it, 3 hours of this fucking prof screen sharing a google doc and droning on for 3 hours

I wish I could get the 20+ hours of my life back that this course has taken from me

TLDR; macOS wouldn’t update to the version I needed because I have a 3rd party SSD. All I needed was a firmware update only found deep within a google search and a secondary SO answer.

I have a video edit project this weekend. No big deal.

Except that the Final Cut Pro project was saved in the latest version of FCPX, for which I need latest MacOS version

As a music producer on the side, I had heard the new file system of MacOS High Sierra would possibly break audio plugins. I didn’t bother updating until now. Looked further into plugin problem, it would be simply a broken hard link which I can easily fix. No big deal.

Except that I have upgraded my MBP SSD from 256gb to this 3rd party 480gb SSD. macOS does not recognize this SSD as compatible with update. No big deal. Simple google search for a terminal command would do the trick.

Except that I found and tried several solutions, including wasting an entire hour updating the original ssd and booting from that to try to update it.

Nothing worked, but deep down in the google search, found in a secondary answer on SO, there was a link for a beta release of a firmware update for the SSD that took two minutes to install, and I was finally able to update.

That firmware update needs to be more prominent everywhere. Wasted well over 3-4 hours updating crap, swapping out SSDs, and googling when all I needed was a fucking firmware update.

I really hate PHP frameworks.

I also often write my own frameworks but propriety. I have two decades experience doing without frameworks, writing frameworks and using frameworks.

Virtually every PHP framework I've ever used has causes more headaches than if I had simply written the code.

Let me give you an example. I want a tinyint in my database.

> Unknown column type "tinyint" requested.

Oh, doctrine doesn't support it and wont fix. Doctrine is a library that takes a perfectly good feature rich powerful enough database system and nerfs it to the capabilities of mysql 1.0.0 for portability and because the devs don't actually have the time to create a full ORM library. Sadly it's also the defacto for certain filthy disgusting frameworks whose name I shan't speak.

So I add my own type class. Annoying but what can you do.

I have to try to use it and to do so I have to register it in two places like this (pseudo)...

Types::add(Tinyint::class);
Doctrine::add(Tinyint::class);

Seems simply enough so I run it and see...

> Type tinyint already exists.

So I assume it's doing some magic loading it based on the directory and commend out the Type::add line to see.

> Type to be overwritten tinyint does not exist.

Are you fucking kidding me?

At this point I figure out it must be running twice. It's booting twice. Do I get a stack trace by default from a CLI command? Of course not because who would ever need that?

I take a quick look at parent::boot(). HttpKernel is the standard for Cli Commands?

I notice it has state, uses a protected booted property but I'm curious why it tries to boot so many times. I assume it's user error.

After some fiddling around I get a stack trace but only one boot. How is it possible?

It's not user error, the program flow of the framework is just sub par and it just calls boot all over the place.

I use the state variable and I have to do it in a weird way...

> $booted = $this->booted;parent::boot();if (!$booted) {doStuffOnceThatDependsOnParentBootage();}

A bit awkward but not life and death. I could probably just return but believe or not the parent is doing some crap if already booted. A common ugly practice but one that works is to usually call doSomething and have something only work around the state.

The thing is, doctrine does use TINYINT for bool and it gets all super confused now running commands like updates. It keeps trying to push changes when nothing changed. I'm building my own schema differential system for another project and it doesn't have these problems out of the box. It's not clever enough to handle ambiguous reverse mappings when single types are defined and it should be possible to match the right one or heck both are fine in this case. I'd expect ambiguity to be a problem with reverse engineer, not compare schema to an exact schema.

This is numpty country. Changing TINYINT UNSIGNED to TINYINT UNSIGNED. IT can't even compare two before and after strings.

There's a few other boots I could use but who cares. The internet seems to want to use that boot function. There's also init stages missing. Believe it or not there's a shutdown and reboot for the kernel. It might not be obvious but the Type::add line wants to go not in the boot method but in the top level scope along with the class definition. The top level scope is run only once.

I think people using OOP frameworks forget that there's a scope outside of the object in PHP. It's not ideal but does the trick given the functionality is confined to static only. The register command appears to have it's own check and noop or simply overwrite if the command is issued twice making things more confusing as it was working with register type before to merely alias a type to an existing type so that it could detect it from SQL when reverse engineering.

I start to wonder if I should just use columnDefinition.

It's this. Constantly on a daily basis using these pretentious stuck up frameworks and libraries.

It's not just the palava which in this case is relatively mild compared to some of the headaches that arise. It's that if you use a framework you expect basic things out of the box like oh I don't know support for the byte/char/tinyint/int8 type and a differential command that's able to compare two strings to see if they're different.

Some people might say you're using it wrong. There is such a thing as a learning curve and this one goes down, learning all the things it can't do. It's cripplesauce.

Fuck, I want to report a bug to KDE, but the more I think of it the more it looks like it's someone who implemented the shit.

It's a feature!

For some fucking reason KDE launcher overrides the commands from one of my programs with its shortcut entries. That's mostly OK.

Now, the problem is that if for some reason the shortcut goes broken, KDE makea sure it is stores in some sort of database, so that even if you delete it from the disk you will still have a broken link overriding the real command.

Until here it's OK. The thing is that, if you delete the shortcut , you will be prompted with a message showing its contents, asking if is it secure to launch the corresponding shortcut?

I'm like, what? Man I deleted the file, there's no shortcut anymore, just let it go and show me the original command.

why would I want you to store previously deleted shortcuts so you may make sure I launch my programs through them?

PS: forgot to tell the whole problem started from a bug in another program, which for some nonsensical reason creates shortcuts calling system commands through itself rather than just calling them out. The result is that once this program is removed all the shortcuts it created no longer work.

So I'm making an app with a classmate at school, but there's one huge problem. All the PC's and laptops at school are shit. The ICT departement at my school blocks almost everything on them. I can't install any program, open any file and I can't even open the command prompt! So I can't install Visual studio or any other IDE and basically can't do anything besides browse websites that aren't blocked. And they expect me and my classmate to make an app. Fortunately, my classmate has a spare laptop we can use, but it's really difficult for two guys to code on just one laptop. I asked my school if they could buy new laptops or if they could remove they restrictions on two laptops, but they don't want to do any of those things and now we're stuck with just one laptop. I don't know what to do. I fucking hate this!

(This doesn't have anything to do with the topic of the rant, but I just want to complain.)
There are a couple more things I hate about my school. At my school, everyone is forced to use iPads. I don't know why they don't just give us laptops instead of iPads (maybe just because there lazy). So my iPad's headphonejack and homebutton where broken for no reason and I had to get it repaired. But instead of going to an apple store or a repair shop, you need to go to the school's ICT department and get it fixed there. If you don't do that and go to a apple store or something, they will take your iPad and keep it forever! Even though you pay €200 for it every year! Also, the ICT department at my school is lazy as hell! You expect them to repair the iPad themselves, but they just send it to a repair shop. So it wouldn't even matter if I would go to the store myself! 😠 And they even do a really bad job at checking if the device even works after the repair, because I needed to get it repaired three times in a row! And don't even get me started on the bad WiFi connection.

IPMI...

2010....

Java Web...

Oracle JDK needed....

Oracle JDK Download requires Oracle Account..... To circumvent as I don't want a motherfugging shitty oracle account tons of googling and loading shit from not so trustful pages.

TLS 1.0 and WebJDK require Internet Explorer.....

And an even older version of Oracle JDK 8....

Broken keyboard input....

As on Laptop for Windows / Internet Explorer additionally struggling with keyboard...

Mounting SMB Share requires password change, as my password contains invalid characters....

Finally getting shit to load GParted...

Taking fucking ages to load.

Broken keyboard input, no pasting.....

Chrooting / input becomes a 15 min exercise.

Actual input necessary on chroot: 1 command.

Actual time needed to get there : 2 1/2 h.

*sigh*

When that one old machine dies noone was aware of. And this one old machine is only accessible via an IPMI... As noone even knows where that machine is.

Weekend dead. Weekend is so fucking dead and overrated.

My last post was a year ago. What brought me back here is the ability of AI to agree and apologize to anything and everything, while producing the worst hopeful code.

4 days I wasted, trying to make an android audio visualizer, but AI... sigh.
It gave me the wrong structure of FFT bytes emitted. I corrected it
It gave me the wrong logarithm calc, I corrected it
It gave me the wrong sampling rate, I corrected it.
It gave me the wrong texture order, I corrected it.
It gave me the wrong glsl sample2d, I corrected it.
It gave me the wrong textureID generation, I corrected it.
It gave me a render which was about 10 fps, I found out that instead of using native onDraw, I had a fcking delta time in my shader. I almost corrected it, I gave up

Lets go to code generators with Annotations.
Like always, starts very positive, until I start to correct it.
It gave me the wrong file locations, I corrected it.
It gave me the wrong order of find copy modify and write to .build, I didnt correct it.
It gave me regexes to find annotations. Im like So whats the use of an "ANNOTATION PROCESSOR"
It apologizes and used a fucking regex in the processor,..... I didnt correct it, in the end, I was left with a separate module, targetting iOS Android and JVM, with an annotation processor implemented in jvmMain, which tries to modify commonMain src by finding annotations with regexes, which wont run on app build or app sync project, but only on java -jre command pointing to that fucking .java class in that module, which takes at least 2 mins to run, and Finally generate 0 files.

I needed to rant, I understand LLMs are just models of words built and stolen from the most intelligent and dumbest people out there. But Im an idiot for getting my hopes high. I cant build anything new and unheard of. I used to do that. I once made a textView + image print util for a bluetooth printer just to say FU to libraries and heavy sdks. like literally rasterizing shit to bluetooth packets. I needed to let off some steam. I havent been here in a year so I dont know what reactions I can get from this rant. I bet someone will just say yeah we tired of 'Fuck AI' rants. but shit, it hurts. When I gave up on that visualizer, I downloaded an app, I think its called project M, like in reference to MilkDrop.. like the Winamp Milkdrop. I opened it, played something on spotify, and let my eyes go blind

Ever since i learned terraform i cannot go back. I cant fucking use the ui anymore. This shit is too good. 1 command to create all bullshit and 1 command to destroy all bullshit. Fantastic. Misconfigured shit? Just fix it in a file and 1 command to update it. Perfect. Need to add more shit? Add more lines and 1 command to update. Shitastic. Instead of misconfiguring bullshit or forgetting to delete some shit manually i can simply just do it all 1 command no errors

HOWEVER i noticed sometimes even terraform gets fucked up with bullshit. When im destroying my infra it infinitely says destroying. As if its stuck in that loop. No idea why. So i have to manually destroy the bullshit and then run destroy a fww more times till it works

I just don't get it. I've done web stuff for 20 years, but these days I'm expected to learn god knows how many command line tools just to stay relevant in the field. I fear the day I have to leave this crummy company making small websites, I just don't have what it takes to learn all that shit and get a job elsewhere.

Webpack, NodeJS, Angular... when I look at their docs I just get lost in all the jargon and I think to myself: I would rather stock shelves like a chum then learn all this goddamn shit over and over and over, my generation can't afford shit anyway so there is no point in doing the absolute minimum to survive.

Meanwhile the recruiters on LinkedIn all talk like the jobs they have are like a visit to fucking Disneyland compared to the soulless mindfucking grind a job entails. GAHHHH!

Rant portion:

Fuck me, there's not a ton of great resources for Lua. I have the book, and it's actually fucking incredible, but as soon as I have a question which I would usually Google, either it's a SO question that almost hits the mark (but absolutely does not answer my initial question) or a mailing list that DOES answer my question but holy FUCK it's difficult to read!

I 100% recommend the Lua book, though. It's remarkably helpful and covers just about every little detail of the language and it's corresponding c API, and even some of how Lua works behind the scenes.

Non-rant portion:

Finished up the first version of my library and now I'm binding it to Lua and this time around I'm using all the best practices including setting and checking metatables so that Lua can't segfault. It's going great, I properly learned about the Lua stack, and I feel good. Cross-platform double-buffered command line via a scripting language... What a way to enter 2020. Everything went so smooth that I got to 3am before I realized what even happened.

Try to finish some of the projects I've started in 2018. Right now I have a todo list text file, along with multiple written lists (the written ones are more focused on a single project normally).

-Finish the startpage I've been doing off and on for at least a month now. I ended up making a lot of it command based (just need to write the scripts for the commands..). I had a little config menu but I just got tired of it and the text box is autofocus anyways, so I figured I'd make it command focused.

-Nice little root safety script as I call it. I've made very stupid mistakes as root before. I once made a typo and ran "chmod --recursive 644 /" while half asleep. I believe I was trying to run that on the current directory I was in, but as you know, the . and / are right next to each other. Basically the script would see what you're doing and echo "you're about to do x, are you sure that's what you want to do?". Something I know I could knock out in a day, but I've been putting it off for at least a year now.

-Compiling notification. I saw something similar once a few years ago, and it was so fucking cool. I remember it being a Mac, and it had a notification that would basically tell you how many files and shit you had left to compile if you were building something. Kinda want to build something for polybar.

-FUCKING RUBBER DUCK DEBUGGING TO THE EXTREME! This one was inspired by a comment someone made once months ago. Might have been here, or reddit, or in real life, not sure. Basically a big ass fucking rubber duck with LEDs in it that will like glow red if your code wouldn't compile (I think Visual Studio has like an automatic error detecting thing in there?? Maybe something similar if I can figure that out). Honestly not sure how the fuck I'd do this one, but I love the idea and I really want to fucking do it

There's more shit. These are just the main ones I want to attempt sometime in the near future.

Fucking hell the AWS IAM documentation is confusing as fuck. Trying to set up a fucking role is harder than cutting a rock with a fucking spoon.

And who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to allow a CLI user to run any command he's allowed to without any form of authentication??
Oh, set up MFA for the CLI you say? Good fucking luck with that, if you ever manage to figure out how to set that shit up!
Fuck this shit!

Do you guys remember the fun little joke utility called fuck that corrected typos?

While debugging an absurd 2s shell load time, I noticed today that the command it appends to .bashrc to _set a fucking alias_ takes almost 400ms to execute.

I wasted fucking hours just trying to find out why curl doesn't send the data I've interpolated from a variable.

It doesn't even send the fucking hardcoded part of the data. I've compared it with a curl command generated by firefox, which works fine. Literally the only difference is that I interpolate a variable and I've echoed the contents of that variable and that was fine as well. I've even checked the interpolated string and it was fine.

And then I moved more stuff into the hardcoded part and it just started to work.

Wtf is this bullshit. I really feel like learning intermediate bash scripting is just a waste of time, just how complicated can you make debugging something so simple.

Every fucking time I give bash scripting a chance this shit costs me so much time, patience and motivation, I really wanna prefer that shit to python, because managing python dependencies for a script sucks ass^2,, but at least I can get shit done in Python. Just fucking end me or give me a language that doesn't make me wanna shoot myself

Yesterday and today combined I spent about 8 hours trying to get my PGP / GPG passphrase to work. Absolutely magically, somehow a newline character had gotten into the passphrase. Yes. That's possible. On macOS, that is.

On my Windows machine I have the same fucking private key protected with the same password. Now try and get a non-windows newline character into any Windows password field, be it a command line or some GUI input. WTF! You'll lose a year of your life with every passphrase error while you have the actual passphrase.

So after all these hours trying to hack my own GPG keystore without success, I remembered how the private key got on my Windows machine in the first place: see tags.

So I am navigating the hellscape called vcpkg. It is a hellscape to me because I don't understand fuck all about how its supposed to work. It has things like manifests and keys which point to repo commits and other weird shit.

I am trying to learn how to get it to install boost.asio today. It keeps installing this old as fuck version 1.80 instead of latest 1.86. I try specifying the version in the vckpg.json file of my project. Then it starts throwing hands and saying it doesn't have port shit for other boost libraries. I try to provide versions for those and it throws more hands. I search and search to no avail. So I give up and let it install 1.80 and all its dependencies. Then its starting fucking erroring out compiling boost.coroutines. So I search on that. Nothing of substance. Just flabbergasted at this point. Does boost work at all with msvc?

I am looking through the errors and is says run "vcpkg update". This fails because I am in manifest mode. Why didn't it give me the command for manifest mode, is it stupid? Then I find the command for manifest mode: "vcpkg x-update-baseline". This updates it commit number is some random file I don't know about. Still don't know what the fuck that does. Then I run the config again on my vcpkg.json. This starts installing boost-asio 1.86. Okay, that is what I wanted in the first place.

So I let it run and do its thing. It installs everything and compiles everything. Its all ready to go. At this point I am like what the fuck is this shit. I don't really want to learn any of this shit. Yet there is someone somewhere that probably can't get enough of this. At work I will probably eventually need to learn this, along with cmake, and all its quirks. It just makes me tired to learn this just to get to a point to write one line of code. I am sure vcpkg will save me time and energy at some point. But 2-3 hours of guessing is annoying at best.

The last time I used boost on windows I just downloaded the source and built it. It was simple and then I just had to provide paths. vcpkg is nice in this respect. Especially when I upgrade the library.

I don't know what the point of this rant is. Getting tired of fighting tooling I guess. Already learning black magic trying to setup my build environment for making skse plugins. Docs are almost non-existent. I did find a discord with some cool people though. Respect to the trailblazers of this art.

We had a tutorial on how to use spark/Hadoop.. part of the tutorial was the installation instructions for Ubuntu vms.

The Prof insisted we used an older version of Hadoop (v2.1.5), so naturally this required pulling older repos and older versions of java.

Naturally, some of the people in the class got some namespacing issues and garbage left from uninstalled packages.

Now, the tutorial was geared towards business/math people, not com sci. So most of the people didn't understand why apt didn't let them run certain commands (even though it very clearly just asked for them to run autoremove or autoclean, like in the "error message"). When the Prof and their "experienced TA" saw these messages, their recommendation was "make a new fresh vm".

The fuck? I heard that, run over and was like no. Just run the suggested command, it's literally a simple issue. And the guy didn't believe me. I had to sit him down, show him how I literally typed what the console was asking for, and everything just worked... The guy's response was "well that's Linux for you, its really complicated and can never trust anything, this time it worked, but next time it might not". Dude... Do you even know what you are saying? Like you are a supposed expert, least have some understanding of the package manager you are using. Maybe things will then be less "schrodinger cat".

God damn I can't wait to be out of this stupid fucking school. Never going back to academia.

Christe on a bike, why would anyone sane use PowerShell? I can't even run my own fucking script, because "cannot be loaded because running scripts is disabled on this system". Even tho I used the same script file literally yesterday.

So I'm just gonna use single command to change it. Easy? Well fuck no! Because no one thought that implementing something like "sudo" would be a fantastic idea, so you have to jump between two separate instances of that piecie of shit. Not to mention it takes ages to even load it.

I'm so fucking done with this shit. If someone forgets every git command every single fucking tim le is ok to ask. Every time someone asks advice on how to write a fucking retarded workaround (out of lazyness, because fixing their own code is too much to ask), it'a ok.
The *ONE* fucking time i ask the name of the fucking function to generate a filter via code using their fucking cms? "you should do that via gui!" "who cares if there'll be conficts with git, just manually redo everything in production!".
God fucking dammit how can you even have the balls to complain about terrible planning and stuff not working if that's your fucking mantra?!

Context: This team has been constantly behind on deliveries, ignoring advice from other teams or more experienced colleague, making mistake after mistake and now, just revealed they have major performance issues, as warned...

So, in the most recent Sprint review they were, once again, criticized for their bad approach and inability as a team to receive feedback and work on that feedback, resulting in mediocre development...

As I left the room I heard one of them say:
"We make this huge rocket that most wouldn't be capable of doing and they cry that it's blue and not green... Others make a ls on a command line and everybody applauds"

Now, this is for everyone to whom the shoe fits...

Listen here you little entitled snotty prick, where do you think you are!? Yes most should not make a rocket when the requirement was a bike! That's overengineering and besides that most of your decisions were arguably wrong!

I will never applaud you or anyone else for doing your fucking job and being mediocre about it... What we applaud is value added! Value to the project, to the process or to the team... Bring value and I will applaud, do your job and you get a salary. Be a snotty childish dipshit and you might find yourself forcefully searching for new professional challenge!

To the reactjs-centered fucks who develop the popular web component viewing software called storybook: have you ever heard about semver?
89 alpha/beta/rc releases for a minor update 6.3 -> 6.4 with "100's of fixes and enhancements" "in preparation of the HUGE 7.0 release". Gee I wonder will it have 1000's of bugfixes? How bug-ridden is this software?
Every minor upgrade since 5.x is backwards-incompatible and requires a day of frustration finding out in how many more fucking NPM packages you split your codebase just because it's cool. I know move fast and break things, but some of us have other things to do than resolving node_modules incompatibilities you know. "No just hit 'npx sb upgrade' you say". I did, I really did! And the browser showed a blank screen of death with tons of cryptic React errors, it really did! Thank God you abstracted away all your dependencies in that sb command, now you can't even read the docs about what could have gone wrong with a specific sub-package. You have @storybook/html but the docs redirect to React pages, so good luck if you use something else

This is so sad... like.. the IDEA of storybook is great. But why did faith put the capacity to develop such a tool into the hands of people who think the world centers around React and JSX.. HTML should have been the default, and then you build on top of that for your fav framework, not the other way around

Fuck this new fad of forcing you to open a new tab when you click on a link. I already have 40+ tabs do you think I need another fucking tab just for your shitty homepage? If I wanted to do that I would just fucking use command (cntrl) click. Stop forcing me. And fuck google especially for making this a thing with google drive and switching between accounts. I mean why the fuck do I need a tab of just the idiotic sheets homescreen (the one that doesn't even include my sheets)? And if I want to switch accounts why do you open the new account in a new tab? I don't want to have my old account up I wanted to switch that's why it's called switch accounts

What the fucking shit, Arch. In what universe/reality is a user expected to easily/quickly address GPG/PGP bullshit when they install Arch. It's already hilarious enough as it is for the user to input every single command in order to install the thing. -- That's actually what's great about Arch; you get return and assurance from each command. -- I understood the fact that you need the latest ISO release in order to even install Arch, but now, if you decide to pacstrap linux-hardened, or god forbid, a package that is who knows what, less maintained?... fuck knows what will happen.

The fantastic part, is that you can't do shit when you're in an arch ISO install. All of the simple and possible solutions that involve GPG DBs/keyrings/etc require you to have the all of the shit installed already; which is fucking impossible if the package manager is bitching about keys not being imported. The most fantastic part, is that there is probably some complete bullshit, ultra-exclusive command or simple solution that will fix this crap. - And if you even dare ask the Arch forums, you'll be branded as a "newbie" and sentenced to read the fucking wiki. - ??? -- That's not a fucking good thing. -- The majority of people who are installing Arch right now, are people who are installing it for the first time, and chances are, most of those people have no fucking clue what is happening; they're learning what is happening. Furthermore, they're probably the kind of people who aren't inclined (or they don't know how) to scour Google or the Arch forums for answers to vague, lazy-ass error messages. The whole point of this thing is show and confront the user about what they're installing and what they want on their computer. Holy shit. This is all the more reason to ensure that total, stupid, ambiguous bullshit errors do not occur. -- "error: key "dogshit master <dogshitmaster@dogshit.org>?" could not could not be imported". -- That's it. That's the error in it's entirety. For a fucking OS install. What the fuck.

Front-end web development is like a fucking cancer to me right now

I need the following behavior from my development environment if I don't want the webdev experience to destroy my sanity and tempt me into suicide by making me waste my valuable lifetime configuring shit that is ultimately meaningless to the software I'm trying to create:

- I should be able to open the webpage in the browser at localhost:<some-port>
- the page should refresh immediately as I save my files
- I should be able to import node modules installed with npm without using a script tag linking to some CDN (for instance, I want to do a get request with axios instead of the fetch API)
- I should be able to do this without spending more than two minutes reading the documentation for a tool that would enable me to do it, ideally without ever coming even close to touching a configuration file

Right now I know about browser-sync and webpack, or webpack-dev-server or some such fucking shit fuck fucking fuck.

browser-sync seems to fulfill most of these needs, except that I can't seem to bring npm modules into my application and import them. Webpack seems to be able to do this, but at the cost of slowly throwing my life away reading documentation for over-complicated configuration files that do not aid me in actual software creation and therefore do not interest me and never will, all in the hope that I *may* at some point dig out enough shit to find how to do such a use case (i.e. seamless, smooth web development) that to me feels reasonably common and expected.

Is there some tool that enables me to do *seamless*, pleasurable web development without the hassles of over-complication and over-engineering? Is there some hidden command for webpack that allows me to run such simple shit without ever needing to edit some pointless configuration file?

Please, I beg of you, let me know.

I really don't like this trend of building command line applications for controlling some <buzzword> cloud app or <buzzword> framework.

Why should I need or want to learn the exact wording of your gcloud command, or the path to your Ng cli, or some ass-backwards AWS search syntax when I can get the same functionality from your web app, where I can use my FUCKING EYES to work out where the "Create Instance" button is and how to click it!!!??

Stop pushing your shitty python monolith of a client where possibilities for the above task range from:
- google-cloud instances --add "subfjfechye thiq"
To
- gcloud /create /type=INSTANCE "rogdhyuffhue"

"BuT iT mAkEs iT MoRe aUtomaTaBLe"
I DON'T CARE. What is the point when I can use a proper programming language instead of bash, with actual code-completion and syntax rather than the horrendous excuse for a suggestion system that is the Tab key where it probably doesn't even work in the first place and I have to copy and paste some mysterious dbus command buried in an old documentation page on the Wayback Machine using a utility I don't have installed and a broken URL?

Go away.

At this point of my side project I wanted to check out openresty for dynamic proxy creation in nginx.

Happy to check it out I installed centos 7 as guest using new command I just learned virt-builder that would automate vm creation.

Spend 10 hours debugging why I can ping and ssh but cannot get to application port from any network.

Checked iptables, restarted network, reinstalled vm again 3 times with different methods.
Scrolled trough whole internet and it’s mostly outdated problems.
Learned bunch of new commands without new results.

Results were always the same:
No route to host.

Turned out firewalld is fucking thing now.

systemctl firewalld stop helped

Now I know that systemd would kill me at some point for sure.

What I can add at this point ?

Please add more distros, differences, standards and programming languages so world definitely would be better place.
I need a short break now to actually start making shit that I wanted to start at 4-5pm on Saturday.
It’s Sunday 3:30am and time for breakfast.
At least I am happy it started working.

MORE WEBDEV ADVENTURES

Took a break for a while due to personal stuff. Just got a job (have to get a stupid work permit from school first to actually be able to work tho), had some shit happen with two close friends that now hate me. Right now I'm upset about something that another really good friend did. So I've been doing some webdev to distract myself for a bit.

So I'm turning my URL bar that I had into a little command bar. It'll be what I use to configure stuff along with URLS and shit. I was building a little config menu that I really hated doing, was just becoming too much of a mess. Currently changing the look of it just a bit, then I'm gonna work on the functionality of it later.

Made my weather divs dynamically generated. Turned like 65 lines in the HTML file to ~20 lines of JavaScript that makes that ~65 lines. And it turns out that it doesn't really affect the loading time at all, which was my original worry. My next task for that is to save the weather predictions so the script doesn't have to grab a whole 14kb file every reload (I know, that part's a little bad). The entire page with the icons and all comes out to ~30kb so far. The icons make up about half of that, but they'll never all be in use because only 5 are on screen at any time and there are 7 total. Plus the fact that one may be in use multiple times (like this very moment actually).

Then I want to have an RSS reader which I've been putting off for a while now. Trying to get everything else done before I do that.

At this very moment, the page takes about 1.4 seconds to load. I'm trying to avoid putting anything I don't need in it. Like I'm using vanilla everything. No frameworks or anything. But that's just my personal preference.

I'll make sure to share it with you guys when I have everything built and functional. I've had a lot of interruptions while doing this. My personal life tends to get in the way of shit I try to do, because I let it get to me.

Anyways I'm just rambling at this point. I fucking love you guys

Yesterday I asked a question on stack overflow about what algorithm I should use in order to parse command line strings like in gnu getopt for example.. And I've got downvoted for no GOOD FUCKING REASON. On top of that, my question is on hold. WTF?! For some time now stack overflow is becoming more and more a community of fucking cunts, arse-holes and toxic people.

Title:
" What parser algorithm is best suited for command line parsing? [on hold] "

My question:
"I want to write my own command line library from scratch. What algorithm should I use in order to parse gnu style args like in getopt for example ? I mean what's the best way other than tokenizing and parse them in a naive way? Should I try to look at LR, LL algorithms or this is way too overkill?"

Their response:
"Your question sounds like "I want to do X. What's the best way to do it?". Too broad, you need to be more specific about what problem you're having. (And keep your question clean. No meta-stuff in there.)"

I mean, what more context-specific reason should I add you dense motherfucker!? I want an algorithm to parse your momma's cunt so hard 'till it blows the fuck up. This what you want? You fucking senseless piece of garbage. God, give me a car to run over their fucking internet cable and over their head, too.

So I use Git intagrated in Visual Studio for the project's repository at work. But I don't like using it because I always used the command line to do stuff on my projects (including those at school, plus last time I used a GUI, I managed to do a merge without being conscious about it).

Why can't I change ? Well, because the proxy block every download link. Or almost.

So a documentation that was updated like 9 months ago was explaining things, and mentionned Git by provinding links to download the bash version. Happy, I click on it and try to download it.

Proxy blocked it.

Just fucking update your documentation

It's too early to be asking these questions today:

Are your DB schema changes checked into source control?

What branch are they checked into?

Why are the schema changes checked into one branch, but deployed to a completely different database?

Is my CI pipeline deploying incorrectly? Oh, you manually deployed changes.

Are your DB changes in source control an accurate reflection of what you actually put in the staging database?

Why not?

Can I just cherry-pick update my schema with your changes from the staging database?

Why is there a typo in your field name?

Oh. Why is there a typo in the customer data set? Don't they know how to spell that word?

Why is the fucking staging database schema missing three critical tables?

Is the coffee ready? I need coffee.

Why is the coffee not ready yet?

What's going on in DevRant this morning?

What project am I working on now anyway?

Did my schema update finish yet?

Yup, it finished. Crap. Where the hell do I keep those backup files?

What's the command line to restore the file again?

Why doesn't our CLI tool support automated database restores?

I can fix that. What branch name should I check the CLI tool into?

What project was I working on this morning again?

Me (to peer): I counted all of the items in the list, and if the list count is zero, we branch to this logic.

Peer: I don't like that, and reject your PR. You should get the list of items, and check to see if the list is empty.

- How is that fucking different than what I did?

- This is not a performance issue, we're talking less than 20 milliseconds on a command run three times a day by developers, not customers.

I believe that I have found the worst feeling in the world.

Not when a push to production on Friday fails. But when a few of your teammates don't want to do JACK FUCKING SHIT. The worst ones are where they think you fabricated projected expenses for raspberry pies, and thus believe that you are apart of some communist conspiracy.

They also believe that cheap AWS ec2 instances are crappy for teaching some basic fucking command line and git to high schoolers!!

I feel like a need a brick handy at all times just to chuck it at a wall.

Yocto is the most overly complicated shit on earth! How the fuck did i ever get my board to boot? You get so easily lost in layers and bb and bbappend and there are like 20 flavours of assignement operators and to configure the kernel you need to run one command for menuconfig and then another right after to pull a diff out of the .config into your project. otherwise noone else will have your changes. TrY the same thing with the bootloader and the whole thing shits its pants. Also there are like four devicetree that are required for boot. And if you specially fuck up here, your hardware will be an expensive paperweight. Also there are like featuresets that enable shizz like wayland or ethernet but good luck finding out what in the actual genderbent jesus the thing you just configured does. And there is like no way to visualize any of it as its just a cockblock of text and files. Also if you use search the results are most likely useless. As the thing you are looking for is a filename and vscode does a text search only. Also you can add layers but whatever the fuck that means as a bsp is like a layer but so can also be a kernel patch or some rando variable change. And good luck fugurig out to which dir $PWD points to. As it could just be on the Elon Musk nazi base on the dark side of the moon. Also every folder starts with meta for some dumb reason. And if it starts compiling you could just aswell build a coffin and go into winter hibernation. It takes fucking forever. I have a 3800x and the build takes 1.5h. Why? Because, BECAUSE, B E C A USE! There is a require package called optee. Which need a python package. That package depends on a crypto lib thats written in rust. And since its all from source, it downloads the FUCKING rust compiler source and compiles the compiler to compile a lib that only takes like 5 seconds to compile. Also good luck figuring that out without constantly staring at the compile log. As there is some compilation time info but you need to write a parser for that first as there is no included anal -lyzing tool for it. I could keep on yappin' waaay longer about why dantes inferno is kindergarten compared to yocto, but i dont have enough alcohol in the house to fuel that.

Alright so cool story about my idiocy and it’s relationship to Learning Ruby on Rails.

So I decided to start learning ruby and it takes a lot from python(idk which One came first correct me off I’m wrong)
The tutorial I started was using version 4.2 of rails or something and the latest version was 5.1 so me being a fucking idiot continued to install and learn plus I had to open 2 questions on stack exchange that could be solved with an apt-get install command and after 3 days of my understanding what the actual fuck was going on. I reinstalled Mint and got it working.

After JetBrains and sublime text and all my shit was off my NAS I started the tutorial again with everything installed correctly and quit at the 4 minute mark because my bundle install command didn’t work correctly still having trouble and I feel like I should just stick to HTML and CSS

There is so much confusion in the world of programming right now, at least for me. I bet there’s only so many concepts going on and that these concepts are realized in certain ways. E.g. programming following certain paradigms and practices, also different workflows, containerization, agile, devops etc.

When searching for tutorials in different subjects it’s horribly aggravating to learn to use the tools. Not because they are inherently hard or bad in any way. There’s just so many different tutorials, some badly given, some that are great but which bring up to many foundations you already know so you find yourself getting bored to the point that you just stop listening. Many tools are used for so many use cases, sometimes overlapping each other, they use concepts to that you’ve heard hundreds of times before. Many times they want to do things in a special way so even if the concepts are the same you still need to fucking listen to the same old thing while learning how to write a command a slightly different way or how some tool is supposedly better than another.

I’m realizing that what I’m so sick of is the lack of TLDR information about new tools with some short description of how to use. Where you didn’t have to re-hear stuff you already knew or had heard so many times unless for a very good purpose, such as to show exactly how it’s done differently than another relevant tool. In a dream world the TLDR information could also remember my skills and remove the parts I didn’t need to know about any new tool.

Great fucking job github and git-lfs

Github,
First don't tell no one about your fucking limits and then when one goes to delete those files that clogged up the storage, fucking don't let them

Also, even for the unsuccessfull commit, let's charge their fucking bandwidth

And for git-lfs
You can't even fucking use the goddamn help command on git-lfs which they suggest you to use. (I installed git-lfs just as they said)

>finally gets around to installing vsftpd on home server RPi
>doesn't work
hmm.mp2
>configurating
>confusing as fuck template documentation
>man page isn't much better
>gets it working
>goes to log in
User: pi
Password: a
(What? It's a home file/command server isolated from the Internet. Sue me.)
nope.avi
>why
>tries again
nope.svg
>FUCK
>sees small raw-command log in bottom-right of phone FTP client
hmm.flac
>tries again, watches log
PASS *****
>the fuck
>goes to change user pass over SSH
# passwd
"Current password?"
about half a second later
"passwd: auth token manipulation denied"
>the delay tho
>WAIT A SECOND
one time i got past some parental software bullshit on a tablet by abusing the delay between opening a banned app and the redirect to the normal software at like age 7. (Doing so let me enable remote wipe through Google. bye bye software!)
>*inner 7 year old has autistic screech*
# nano temp
a
abcdefghi
abcdefghi
^O Y ^X
# passwd < temp
>fucking works
>logs in to FTP server successfully
>does the one file download that was needed

why and how did that fucking work

JUST FUCKING NOTHING WORKS!
ERROR HERE ERROR THERE.

Then i tried to copy the exact sample code and it ALSO DIDN'T WORK.

AND THEN FUCKING VSCODE shows errors THAT AREN'T EVEN THERE. THEY MAYBE WERE THERE 10 MINUTES AGO. IS THIS SOME FUCKING INTERNET EXPLORER SHIT. ALSO COMPILING THROUGH IT DOESN'T WORK JUST THROUGH THE COMMAND LINE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH FUCK IT

I'm taking a class in my university about Cloud computing. In 2 weeks we made a simple web app to upload videos and then a simple job that converts all videos to mp4.

Now we took the app to the Cloud using AWS. We created different instances for the web servers, we changed the database to NoSQL, used SQS to queue the convert videos jobs to the different workers instances, used SES, S3, CloudFront, ElastiCache. All that stuff.

And all that is worthless because I cannot get my Ubuntu instance to run a fucking command on reboot. I don't really know how and I feel that all my work was wasted.

Feels bad man

Why eclipse?
Why did you think that implementing git yourself was a good idea?
Why? Fucking why?
Now when I switch to my development branch and it's a few commits behind I get lock fails when I fetch. And when I pull?
I'm fucking 32 commits in front of the branch? Like what the Fuck eclipse?
How can you pull those commits from the repo without fetching?
... I use the command like now.

Was the standalone android sdk manager, the one that has a gui, a problem for most of the android devs for it to be goddamn removed? The command line sdk manager (tools/bin/sdkmanager) is a fucking pain in the ass for fucks sake.

Fucking hate to explain basic shit to computer illiterate. Usually I don't mind, but right know I working on the project, want to automate one thing I need to do every morning, put two numbers to web page(I will explain details maybe in next rant). So I am only one who fix, buys computers, printer(for some problems I call for other repair man.). Generally speaking working as IT guy. Firm has like 50 computers, some of them has SCADA software. Some computers have Win 7, some win 8 and others win 10, can't upgrade those computers, not enough money(I can deal with this problem). And yes, computer buying is not the fastest, easiest thing too. Because is public firm, I need to do public buying(I don't know how to translate to english), and most of the time wins the lowest price, I am ok with that. But I can't on item specification write I want that model pc or it components. Example: I can't write I want intel processor, however I can write number of cores, frequency. But it's not that bad, usually i have template for all things I buy. One of the worst thing is this, our firm bought new bookkeeping software version, old version was using visual foxpro framework. Good thing I didn't initiate the purchase, because right know I would be jobless, not because I would be fired, but because our senior accountant would drive me crazy. In fact accountants drive me crazy, but I can handle it for now. As I wrote before our form has about 120 workers, major part of workers are old, like my parents age. (I am 28 btw. Mom is 55.). As you all know what happens if you say you work with computers. So our accountants are like 60 years old, got new program, don't know how to work with it, and they ask me how to do certain things. if I don't know how to I ask program's support, every question is like 90 Eur. So in short accountants expect I should know their work and how program works. If I try say something they don't like, they try to make my day hard. Next thing is our billing program. Man that worked before me done some payments import. And when I came everyone expect me to do that. Ok I did that because that people working with billing program would probably fuck it up. And I semi automated that, so I don't mind that much. Sometimes that program fucks up, like it happened yesterday, it send email invoices attachment without filename. Example: people got this attachment ".pdf"(no filename, only extension), And if you save it you need do OPEN WITH command and then select pdf reader or rename file (I don't know what easier). And surprise surprise our firm, customer support redirects all phone calls, emails to me. But I did explain to customer support what to say to people. Still they redirect it to me.
PS: This is my first job after school. I work as part time.
TL;DR Thinking my life, carrier choices. accountants are not the nicest people.

I just helped my friend setting up Laravel on her machine. The npm is giving me headache because of the fucking permission issue. WHY THE FUCK chmod DOESN'T WORK ON WINDOWS IF POWERSHELL RECOGNIZE THE COMMAND?? Then composer says that it cannot find the autoload.php. I thought it was another permission issue end up it's because composer fuck up installing on Windows. Wasted 2 hours for this shit.

Oh and the default language she uses is French. The keyboard layout is entirely different. French is totally awesome but the typos in command is getting really annoying. :(

I'm not saying Windows is bad for general use but I think it's a bad idea for developing non-Microsoft product on Windows. I don't understand how can one bear with so much shit on Windows. Most dev tools tutorials are written in Unix system so fucking get a Mac or Linux at least!

The whole windows server + ms sql server ordeal is the biggest fucking joke I've ever seen in my time being a dev.
The ms sql dashboard uses a hidden user to access files and stuffs, so I spent 1 hour trying to make the dashboard's explorer to find the database dump file, only to find out that the file need to be owned by the hidden user. So
I spent about 1 hour trying to set the correct owner of the dump file, but to no avail, the explorer still couldn't pick it up. Then I spent another hour to set the correct owner for the containing folder. Finally, a 6 years old answer on SO point out that I should just put the fucking .bak file in their default folder, and voilà, the fucking thing works like a charm.

I can't get why Microsoft has to go out of their way making permission management on their os so fucking convoluted. The fucking usernames are a fucking mess, you have to go through a bunch of form to change just the owner of a file (please don't start me up with that running some command on powershell bullshit, I would rather deal with bad GUI than a badly designed CLI)

If I were to being positive though, Microsoft is actually one of a few tech companies having a good technical decision of moving their shits over Linux.

What keyboard macros do you guys use when you have programmable function keys?

Also a funny little story that I just remembered. My brother used to have a key that would type his password cause he was THAT fucking lazy. He was writing an NPC for a private Ragnarok Online server that I was testing with a couple people. Apparently he had hit that function key in the middle of an announcement command.

So basically, everything went as planned, but then while announcing an event, it would announce his password to THE ENTIRE SERVER. Lucky for him, there were only three of us online at the time, and we told him as soon as it happened.

Git is overrated. There's absolutely no good reason that `git add` should be default to call before `git commit`, if people don't want files added that should be the exception not the rule. But where it all really falls apart is mono repos. There's no good way to make a repo inside a repo, which is fucking stupid. There's no good way to clone just a chunk of a repo, which is fucking stupid. And -- just in general -- every aspect of git feels like it wasn't designed to be usable. For instance: there should be a command `git save "message"` which does the default `git add ., git commit -m "message" git push`. Or rebasing, that doesn't need to be so hard at all.

This is just a rant and all, but I'm so tired of git being clunky and poorly designed from a UX perspective. And not supporting mono-repos for shit.

I'm trying to find a linux distro that suck less to study the basics of bash, and some c/c++ dev tools. I play around with linux since 2013. But I just can't believe that, still, until today, in gnome, you can't fucking chose a audio output and get to the system to remember on the next reboot.

I mean, it doesn’t fit in my mind this nonsense, if I can only solve this shit on the command line or in a configuration file, why don’t you take that shit off the option and put a plain text explaining how to configure this shit in the right way . Who expects a system to behave like this?

I don't know why someone lost their time implementing something useless, and worst, deceiving.

WHYY , are you fucking fucking complaining, mother fuckdr yyuo fucking won

You completed our mission objective successfully

You fucking did it mother fhcker and what ur asking from me after all of thus shit weve been through for the past 7 months is beyond our primary mission objective ,fucker

Obviously as you can fuckin see from the 7 months of suffering we can not repeat the same objective twice, just like u cant be born or die twice, fucker

Shit happens once and thats goddamn fuckin it motherfucker move on to tje ffckin next mission objective that i command u to go towards

NO FAILED MISSIONS. I ONLY BROADCAST SUCCESS. BUT SHIT HAPPENS RARE.

So forget about her u motherfucker, you told me what you wanted to achieve, i planned out the whole scenario, i organized the mission objective for you and you have took the fuckin risk and and action and guess what u fuckin succeeded. My mission objective has never failed you. What you are trying for these fuckin past 7 months is not my mission objective and it is out of scope, unplanned fuckin shit and that is why u fell back into fuckin depression i told u to fuckin stay away but u aint to me listen fucker

Stop.

Breathe.

Worry no more about the shit that is irrelevant and out of your fuckin control.

U got friends at college. Hang out with them ull feel better. Whwnever u think of that fuckin whore goo mothrrfuckr and meet ur goddamn fckin irl friends. Text them. Shit man.....

Good luck

God damn it, Gatling. Why didn't you put your fucking command line argument passing at the front of your docs instead of being buried under 'cookbook'? It's not a fucking recipe! it's core mother fucking functionality! "how do I run this command-line utility from the command-line by script?". "I don't know, maybe I should check the fucking cookbook since apparently it's not basic functionality that LITERALLY everyone using the fucking product will need!

So now I have to go back and parameterize one of the sims I've built AFTER I've mimicked our entire performance test matrix! FUCK!

Is docker even suitable for anything that isn't deployment?

So much time, so much effort, so much trial and error, and I still feel like I don't know what Docker is for.

I had a development VirtualBox machine, which I used just to compile my code and test my application. So I said "why don't I just use Docker? It would be way simpler". Also because that fucking Virtualbox image was like 10GB, and it was slow af.

The VirtualBox machine wasn't created by me, but it was just given to me by a previous developer, so I just had to imagine what I needed and pick up the pieces. In few hours I was ready with my Dockerfile.

So I tried it, and....... obviously it didn't work. I entered inside my container and I tried to manually execute commands in order to see where it breaks, and I tried to fix each of them. They were just the usual Linux dependencies problems, incompatibility among libraries, and so on.

Putting everything in order, I started over again with a virgin Ubuntu image, and I tried to fix every single error that appeared, I typed something like 1 hundred commands just to have my development machine up and running.

Now I have a running container that works, I don't know how to reproduce it with a Dockerfile, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it, because I'm afraid that any wrong command could destroy the container and lose all the job I did. I can't even bind folders because start/exec doesn't support bindings, so I've to copy files.

Furthermore, the documentation about start/exec is very limited, and every question on StackOverflow just talks about deployment. So am I wrong? Did I use containers for something that wasn't their main purpose? What am I supposed to do now? I'm lost, I feel so much stupid.

Just tell me what to do or call a psychologist

Anyone notice how fucking difficult it is to install software from GitHub... well for amateurs mostly. I went through pretty much hell to simply install a spotify playlist downloader script from GitHub. Had I not have had Python installed I would have had to download that too. You Install Python, Google a guide to get the pip command up and running. Download the software. PIP it? Then you find out it uses 3 custom libraries that have to be installed separately. Oh that reminds me, u still need an IDE to open the script and figure that, on your own. Then the script is super buggy, expected though it was still in development. I have no idea where I am going with this. Point is ppl need to get better with hosting code at GitHub. And it wouldn't hurt to include a guide to installation in ReadMe.md OR Installation.md. Ok am done now xd

Heres a truly vitrolic and unnecessary rant:
Package control for sublime is all well and good
through the command palette, but it's just
fucking retarded. How about you point me to a
FUCKING COMMAND to actually INSTALL A
MOTHERFUCKING PACKAGE YOU
FINGERPAINTING FUCKWITS?

Under babel plugin while browsing packages
on packagecontrol.io:
"Find it as Babel through Package Control."

FUCKING HOW?

What command?

What fucking command? How do I "Find" it?
The browse command just opens my
motherfucking browser. How do I fucking install
your fucking packages you assholes?
"Use autocomplete" except your god damn
autocomplete doesn't list "install package"
for some god damn reason because everything
web is a broken pile of utter shit, built
on a more shit, like a leaning garbage tower
of bullshit waiting for the smallest mistake to
take down the entire house of cards like
someone removing a leftpad on npm.

Maybe specify I have to enter
"install package" and THEN hit enter, and THEN
enter the GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING package name
on a separate god damn line for
some fucky reason.

Next time don't make a tool that breaks
motherfucking conventions. It's bad enough
every fucking look-at-me-im-smart cunt of a
dev and their dog has to invent a CLI and
then go and invent a new domain specific
language too motherfuckers.

Next tool that breaks convention around me is
gonna see the dev lit on fire.
fucking uppity cunts.

"Say thanks" the site say. I am not
feeling fucking thankful at the moment.

The least you can do if you're going to
contribute to open source, is not make things
actively fucking worse, least of all in the
fucking *documentation*.

FUCK count for this rant: 19 / 50,
RANK: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC

0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK

50+ : MIDLIFE CRISIS / MASTER GRAND WIZARD
OF RANTS AND ANGRY-WORD MASTURBATION.

If you prefer to cheat, you may also include any
cursewords in general, but be warned, you'll
never know the sweet taste of victory when you
achieve the rank of master grand wizard.
Like when you were a kid, and you discovered
gameshark, and all your hopes of finishing that
one game became but a ruthlessly hollowed out
husk, somewhere where could-have-been childhood
memories and nostalgia go to die like the
graveyard of dreams
(the same place officer workers souls go).

PLEASE i understand how it works but how is hashicorp vault supposed to be used?

Not to mention how should i use it for production? Literally no dipshit tutorial explains it. Everyone explains the vault server -dev part and thats it. Fuck you

Every time i restart the vault server all of the secrets and config get deleted. And then i have to readd them all over again?

How is vault supposed to work in terraform?

How can I automate storing secrets in vault instead of manually doing it?

How to automate starting vault server by a single command along with provisioning secrets and parameters?

How to store iam credentials from ~/.aws/credentials into vault by profile AUTOMATICALLY as soon as vault server is started?

Because if my backend depends on some secret from vault, how am i supposed to automatically have these secrets created so i can just run my backend without worrying which secrets i have to recreate because the restart of vault server deletes all the fucking secrets in dev mode?

How do i use this bullshit?

- Every guide explains it partially
- No guide explains how to 100% automate it
- every dipshit youtube video explains it poorly
- NO ONE explains how to configure it for production.

I am so Fucking lost in learning this bullshit.

Can someone give me a link to a repo of a working example of the things i just mentioned? Either you create it or send an existing link cause i cant find any.

Basically i just want to use Terraform and Vault together but i cant understand how to combine them together so that its all automated 100% -- for example i just want to do

terraform apply --auto-approve

And then the entire terraform aws gets provisioned + vault server stars AND gets provisioned with secrets.

How to do that?

I got my first client at upwork almost a week ago and the experience has been awful so far, not because of this client but because of the codebase, it's so bad, it is running DEBUG=True on production and if I turn it DEBUG=False things break for some fucking reason that makes no sense (I don't think that's true but the previous developer states it). The website is running on pythonanywhere which is weird, bootstrap is a nightmare, the database needs to be in sync all the time using a manage.py command that executes tasks received through a webhook from a Hubspot shit that has all the information. Just adding a simple edit/verify profile on that site is such a fucking nightmare. The whole project its full of holes and things that are just screaming to break, its like a fucking house of cards that falls to the ground the second I edit something and it looks like its my fault. I'm thinking of telling the client that I will no longer work on this project

Sometime I feel, god forget to write proper toggle command for me.

For others it is random, for me it is static. One sad life. Only hope is system run out of memory because it is recursion with no ending.

here is the dev-rant
After fucking with Laravel Passport for 3 days, I finally manage to find a way to do multi auth.

Yeah! dude I am the guy who is going to write a tutorial for that. So, you must -- this rant.

Can someone tell me how to properly rebase changes from main branch

I always fuck myself over. Fucking merge conflicts i caused by myself. Since the CD pipeline creates a commit or i merge into main from a side branch, i often forget to pull those changes locally from main branch

What happens then is i just create a new branch to start working on the next feature

git checkout -b feature/shit

Totally forgetting to first do

git pull --rebase

From main branch. Because of this when i push shitload of features to feature/shit branch and then try to merge that shit into main. CD pipeline gets fucked. There are merge conflicts now because i havent rebased

Question -- if i switch to a new branch, make a shitload of changes and forget to rebase from main branch First, what command do i type to rebase right there (on the new branch) but rebase from main branch so these conflicts dont appear?

Spent all day fucking around with a tool, hoping to make it work, only to realize that I could just use Jinja templating and a cheap command line alias to render the template all along.