Its that time of the morning again where I get nothing done and moan about the past ... thats right its practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!

Today I'd like to tell you the story of "i". Interesting about "I" is that he was actually a colleague of yesterdays nominee "G" (and was present at the "java interface" video call, and agreed with G!): https://devrant.com/rants/1152317/...

"I" was the spearhead of a project to end all projects in that company. It was suppose to be a cross-platform thing but ended up only working for iOS. It was actually quite similar to this: https://jasonette.com/ (so similar i'm convinced G / I were part of this but I can't find their github ID's in it).

To briefly explain the above + what they built ... this is the worst piece of shit you can imagine ... and thats a pretty strong statement looking back at the rest of this series so far!

"I" thought this would solve all of our problems of having to build similar-ish apps for multiple customers by letting us re-use more code / UI across apps. His main solution, was every developers favourite part of writing code. I mean how often do you sit back and say:

"God damn I wish more of this development revolved around passing strings back and forth. Screw autocomplete, enums and typed classes / variables, I want more code / variables inside strings in this library!"

Yes thats right, the main part of this bullshittery was putting your entire app, into JSON, into a string and downloading it over http ... what could possibly go wrong!

Some of my issues were:

- Everything was a string, meaning we had no autocomplete. Every type and property had to be remembered and spelled perfectly.
- Everything was a string so we had no way to cmd + click / ctrl + click something to see somethings definition.
- Everything was a string so any business logic methods had to be remembered, all possible overloaded versions, no hints at param types no nothing.
- There was no specific tooling for any of this, it was literally open up xcode, create a json file and start writing strings.
- We couldn't use any of the native UI builders ... cause strings!
- We couldn't use any of the native UI layout constructs and we had to use these god awful custom layout managers, with a weird CSS feel to them.

What angered me a lot was their insistence that "You can download a new app over http and it will update instantly" ... except you can't because you can't download new business logic only UI. So its a new app, but must do 100% exactly the same thing as before.

His other achievements include:

- Deciding he didn't like apple's viewController and navigationBar classes and built his own, which was great when iOS 7 was released (changed the UI to allow drawing under the status bar) and we had no access to any of apples new code or methods, meaning everything had to be re-built from scratch.

- On my first week, my manager noticed he fucked up the login error handling on the app I was taking over. He noticed this as I was about to leave for the evening. I stayed so we could call him (he was in an earlier timezone). Rather than deal with his fucked up, he convinced the manager it would be a "great learning experience" for me to do it ... and stay in late ... while he goes home early.

- He once argued with me in front of the CEO, that his frankenstein cross-platform stuff was the right choice and that my way of using apples storyboards (and well thought out code) wasn't appropriate. So I challenged him to prove it, we got 2 clients who needed similar apps, we each did it our own way. He went 8 man weeks over, I came in 2 days under and his got slated in the app store for poor performance / issues. #result.

But rather than let it die he practically sucked off the CEO to let him improve the cross platform tooling instead.

... in that office you couldn't swing a cat without hitting a retard.

Having had to spend a lot more time working with him and more closely than most of the other nominees, at a minimum "I" is on the top of my list for needing a good punch in the face. Not for being an idiot (which he is), not for ruining so much (which he did), but for just being such an arrogant bastard about it all, despite constant failure.

Will "I" make it to most incompetent? Theres some pretty stiff competition so far

Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!

Part 1: https://devrant.com/rants/4210605

So let's talk about these tasks we were assigned. Ms Reliable and Mr DDTW's friend who I just realized I haven't named yet were in charge of programming communications. Ms Enabler and Mr DDTW were in charge of creating the vehicle subclasses for the new variants we were instructed to build. Each one had to handle one variant, and we estimated that both of these would be about the same difficulty (Ms Enabler's one turned out to be a little harder).

I like Ms Enabler, and she's a good friend, although she isn't the best at problem solving and her strengths as a dev lie in her work ethic and the sheer amount of theory she knows and can apply. These just so happened to be the exact opposites of my strengths and weaknesses. Within a few days of having assigned the tasks, she came up to me asking for help, and I agreed. Over the following couple of weeks I'd put in quite a lot of hours reviewing the design with her, and we'd often end up pair programming. It was more work for me, but it was enjoyable and overall we were very efficient.

The other two girls in the group were also absolutely fine this sprint. They simply did the work they had to and let us know on time. Outside of some feedback, requests, bugfixes, and mediating disagreements, I didn't have to do anything with their tasks.

A week and half into the sprint and everybody else has their part almost in an MVP state. As Mr DDTW hadn't said or shown anything yet, I asked if he could push his stuff to the repo (he got stuck with this and needed help btw), and what does he have?

A piece of shit "go to this location" algorithm that did not work and was, once again, 150 lines of if statements. This would not have been such a massive deal if THE ENTIRE PREVIOUS SPRINT HAD BEEN DEDICATED TO MAKING THE CODE DO THIS IN A SENSIBLE WAY. Every single thing that this guy had written was already done. EVERY SINGLE THING. A single function call with the coordinates would let the vehicle do what he wrote but in a way THAT ACTUALLY WORKED AND MADE THE TINIEST BIT OF FUCKING SENSE. He had literally given so few shits about this entire goddamn project that he had absolutely zero clue about what we'd even done last sprint.

After letting this man civilly know through our group chat about his failures, giving him pointers on what's wrong and what he can use and telling him that he should fix it by the end of the week, his response?

"I'll try"

That was it. Fuckass was starting to block us now, and this was the first sign of activity he's given since the sprint started. Ms Enabler had finished her work a fucking week ago, and she actually ASKED when she ran into trouble or thought that something could be improved. Mr DDTW? He never asked for shit, any clarification, any help, and I had let everybody know that I'm open. At least the other two who didn't ask for shit ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING. He'd been an useless sack of shit for half a semester in three separate projects and the one time he's been assigned something half important that would impact our grades he does this. I would not stand for it.

I let him know all this, still civil (so no insults) but much less kind, capped with "Stop fooling around. Finish this by the of the week." which probably came off as a threat but his shithead kinda had it coming.

He was actually mad. Dropped a huge faux-apologetic spiel in the chat. Why couldn't I just trust him (his code was garbage and he was constantly late without explanation), his work was almost done (it wasn't and if he'd started he'd understand the scope of what he was assigned), that the problem was that I'm a condescending piece of shit (bruh), and was suddenly very interested in doing work. Literally everybody ignored him. What was funny was seeing the first questions and requests for help after that spiel. I obliged and actually answered what he asked.

The end of the week came and went he'd just uploaded more garbage that didn't work. I had foreseen this and, on top of everything else, had been preparing his section of the work done by myself and properly. Thus came a single commit from me with a working version of the entire module, unblocking the entire team. I cannot imagine the sheer hatred for this man at that moment for the commit message to simply be:

"judgement"

And with that, all I got was a threat to report me to the professor for sabotaging his work. The following day our group got an email from the professor, with no explanation, asking for an almost-immediate video conference. Group chat was a shitshow of panic, as nobody knew what was going on. Least of all Mr DDTW.

Once again, I'm approaching the word limit so to be continued in part 3 (hopefully of 3)

Long rant!!!

Let me give you a little back story first

So I was building a mobile app for a client who is to say the least a big PAIN IN THE ASS!
And once I completed the final edits he requests and sent him the app for approval, he calls me and starts asking about some features in the app if it has does or not (which the app does). The main reason for this rant is the feature about the app being able to open the links of the website inside the app without going to the browser first.

But what was happening when the client clicked on the link, since it’s a newspaper type of app, he got asked in which browser he wanted to open the link and after the browser was opened it returned him to the app and asked if he wants that link be opened in the app or browser again. So I can understand his confusion and anger with this problem so I started to debug to see what is happening since I now this featured worked before and had it on video to show it does. After a few minutes I noticed that the links were being added as google.com/url?q={CLIENT_URL}/something_else instead of just www.client_url.com/article

Obviously not my fault as I don’t do content for the website but some other person. But once I called him back and explained the situation to him, he started yelling at me for not being able to create the feature and not notifying him of the mistake his author was making. After about 10mins of him yelling I snapped and just angrily told him “I don’t hear any problems with the app, as far as I’m concerned it can be published as is, as there is not problem on my side”. Then he got even more angry and started talking more shit about how this is all my fault and how I’m a bad programmer and how his users are gonna just delete the app once they see this and I should find a way to fix those links.

And to clarify some more, if there was like 5-10 articles I would do it, just so that I don’t have to listen to him, but there are more than 1 or 2k articles with about 2-5 links per article that were added like that.

After his call I called my boss and told him what happened, and he said he will talk to the client and explain to him how he will be able to communicate with me from now on and in what tone. As I’m not allowed to tell clients anymore to go fuck themselves, since I did it once. But I can call my boss and he does it for me :D

//END RANT !!!

Okay, story time.

Back during 2016, I decided to do a little experiment to test the viability of multithreading in a JavaScript server stack, and I'm not talking about the Node.js way of queuing I/O on background threads, or about WebWorkers that box and convert your arguments to JSON and back during a simple call across two JS contexts.

I'm talking about JavaScript code running concurrently on all cores. I'm talking about replacing the god-awful single-threaded event loop of ECMAScript – the biggest bottleneck in software history – with an honest-to-god, lock-free thread-pool scheduler that executes JS code in parallel, on all cores.

I'm talking about concurrent access to shared mutable state – a big, rightfully-hated mess when done badly – in JavaScript.

This rant is about the many mistakes I made at the time, specifically the biggest – but not the first – of which: publishing some preliminary results very early on.

Every time I showed my work to a JavaScript developer, I'd get negative feedback. Like, unjustified hatred and immediate denial, or outright rejection of the entire concept. Some were even adamantly trying to discourage me from this project.

So I posted a sarcastic question to the Software Engineering Stack Exchange, which was originally worded differently to reflect my frustration, but was later edited by mods to be more serious.

You can see the responses for yourself here: https://goo.gl/poHKpK

Most of the serious answers were along the lines of "multithreading is hard". The top voted response started with this statement: "1) Multithreading is extremely hard, and unfortunately the way you've presented this idea so far implies you're severely underestimating how hard it is."

While I'll admit that my presentation was initially lacking, I later made an entire page to explain the synchronisation mechanism in place, and you can read more about it here, if you're interested:

http://nexusjs.com/architecture/

But what really shocked me was that I had never understood the mindset that all the naysayers adopted until I read that response.

Because the bottom-line of that entire response is an argument: an argument against change.

The average JavaScript developer doesn't want a multithreaded server platform for JavaScript because it means a change of the status quo.

And this is exactly why I started this project. I wanted a highly performant JavaScript platform for servers that's more suitable for real-time applications like transcoding, video streaming, and machine learning.

Nexus does not and will not hold your hand. It will not repeat Node's mistakes and give you nice ways to shoot yourself in the foot later, like `process.on('uncaughtException', ...)` for a catch-all global error handling solution.

No, an uncaught exception will be dealt with like any other self-respecting language: by not ignoring the problem and pretending it doesn't exist. If you write bad code, your program will crash, and you can't rectify a bug in your code by ignoring its presence entirely and using duct tape to scrape something together.

Back on the topic of multithreading, though. Multithreading is known to be hard, that's true. But how do you deal with a difficult solution? You simplify it and break it down, not just disregard it completely; because multithreading has its great advantages, too.

Like, how about we talk performance?

How about distributed algorithms that don't waste 40% of their computing power on agent communication and pointless overhead (like the serialisation/deserialisation of messages across the execution boundary for every single call)?

How about vertical scaling without forking the entire address space (and thus multiplying your application's memory consumption by the number of cores you wish to use)?

How about utilising logical CPUs to the fullest extent, and allowing them to execute JavaScript? Something that isn't even possible with the current model implemented by Node?

Some will say that the performance gains aren't worth the risk. That the possibility of race conditions and deadlocks aren't worth it.

That's the point of cooperative multithreading. It is a way to smartly work around these issues.

If you use promises, they will execute in parallel, to the best of the scheduler's abilities, and if you chain them then they will run consecutively as planned according to their dependency graph.

If your code doesn't access global variables or shared closure variables, or your promises only deal with their provided inputs without side-effects, then no contention will *ever* occur.

If you only read and never modify globals, no contention will ever occur.

Are you seeing the same trend I'm seeing?

Good JavaScript programming practices miraculously coincide with the best practices of thread-safety.

When someone says we shouldn't use multithreading because it's hard, do you know what I like to say to that?

"To multithread, you need a pair."

Dear router

It was nice having you in my house, but it's come to the point where our ways part. I must go on and you must be recycled. You've served me well all those 7 years, my friend.

It's not me, it's you. You've grown old and unreliable. Your capacitors must have dried out and can no longer serve reliable wifi connections. I keep on getting lost ICMP packets and connection outages altogether. While these things could happen to any router, definitely not every router has a 13-16 second long wifi outage every minute. I cannot have 2 peoples' work depend on a wifi connection where a ping to a LAN IP takes 58204ms. I just.. can't. You've become a liability to my family.

I'm pissed, because I cannot afford video calls with my colleagues.
I'm pissed, because my wife spends good 5 minutes every call asking "can you hear me? how about now?" and repeating herself over and over.
I'm pissed, because I can no longer watch Netflix or listen to YT Music uninterrupted by network outages.
I'm pissed, because my Cinnamon plugins freeze my UI, waiting for network response
But most of all I'm pissed, because I was disconnected from BeatSaber multiplayer server when I scored a Full Combo in Expert "Camellia: Ghost" - right before I got a chance to see my score.

I gave you 2 second chances by factory-resetting you. I admit you got better. And then got back to terrible again.

I can no longer rely on you. It's time to say our goodbies and part our ways.

P.S. as a proof of your unreliability I'm attaching outputs of ping to a LAN IP and pingloss to the same IP (pingloss: https://gitlab.com/-/snippets/...)

Oh my fucking god.

So, basically, I’m at some mall with Violet Parr, but I’m not Dash. I’m someone else entirely, but still a Mr. Incredible’s child. Producers connect to my thoughts and say “Go to the bathroom”. I oblige, go in and see Mr. Incredible naked, absolutely destroying Frozone’s asshole bareback. He doesn’t see me.
Then, I go meta: “Well, producers now probably want me to find another bathroom!”
Mens' one is closed. Ladies one is open though. “Wait, if Mr. Incredible is there, and we’re in The Incredibles universe, we’re probably not in Russia, and no one will bully me, a little trans kid, if I go to the ladies' bathroom”. I go in and lock myself inside a stall.
Music plays. A hellish hybrid of Tessa Violet from “Crush” (https://youtube.com/watch/...) and Orla Gartland (https://youtube.com/watch/...) enters the bathroom. The movie suddenly becomes a musical.
As she approaches my stall, she sings:

🎵 Deep down inside, we’re still transphobic 🎵
🎵 Deep down inside, I’m still transphobic 🎵
🎵 But it’s my way to tell the world 🎵
🎵 To shut 🎵
🎵 The fuck 🎵
🎵 UUUUUp 🎵

She proceeds to demolish and twist the stalls.

Suddenly, we see her flashback (well, technically a flash-forward), and there she gives a Ted talk. But it’s a Klan rally, and it’s Ted x KKK. She says the punchline:
“Well, isn’t it _nuts_ 😏
that I twisted steel beams into a thousand _knots_ 😏👉”
The audience erupts into laughter.

We’re back. I run away from her. Cops arrive, and I’m connected directly to Barely Sociable’s video from the future (relative to my present) about Ruth Price (https://youtube.com/watch/...), the phone call segment. The original audio is replaced by Tessa/Orla’s voice. She calls cops and says “We’re placed into custody for bullying a trans faggot kid!”
The cop replies, mocking her: “That’s baaaad 🤣, that’s probably baaaaaad 🤣”
Off-screen laughter.
Roll credits.

Jack-Jack Parr is trans, confirmed.

Hey all, not sure what the mod rules are around this but.. I'd love some feedback on my project..

This project, I call it Thingtime, is my life's work..

It's a GUI for web development with a direct connection to HTML, CSS and JavaScript using React and Chakra UI..

It's like writing code and adding it to a runtime while being in that runtime, and that runtime is powering itself..

So, it aims to fully elliminate the gap between code editors and the end result.. I jokingly refer to it as code-no-code.

Anyway, it's a long 13 minute video which goes over the basics to a pretty cool demo..

I'm trying to work out what direction to take with the platform and idea.. private investment, shares, crowdfunding.. etc..

So I was hoping for some input from some fellow 9000 IQ devrant degenerates..

Here's the vid !!! 🥰
https://youtube.com/watch/...

Lopu 🌈💖✨♾️✨💖🦄

Some had teased me a bit on my previous meme so let me tell my anecdote...

I have to tell you a rather funny anecdote that happened to me during a job interview..

To put you in context, I am a front/back developer and the language where I perform best is JS. I started learning JS at an early age during an open source project to make animations on websites then I also quickly moved to the backend using NodeJS. I gained a lot of experience by going to small start-ups and this time if I wanted to try my luck on big companies in the field of video games.

So I wanted to present some projects to my interlocutor who seemed to be someone with an important position in the company, about 26 years old and we talked about the JS language. I showed him all my projects including those where I was doing free/open source and also in the field of video games such as volunteering like the back off https://mylolmmr.com And suddenly he called out to me and said "JS is not a real language".

I must confess that I was quite disturbed by his assertion and did not understand his condescension or his belittlement. This mind...

Especially since I find it extremely misleading to say that the JS language is not a real language when you know its advantages and disadvantages, but I did not dare to express myself on this subject and we continued the interviews, even though he saw that it bothered me.

The funny thing is that once the interview is over and I decide to go home and I receive a call from the company in question who wanted me to take a technical test telling me that the oral interview was successful...

I reassure you right away, I refused.. For a question of salary which was extremely low and obviously the bad experience with this famous director.

https://youtu.be/yYUuWWnfRsk

I used to dream of systems which were built into the infrastructure for a variety of reasons

One was I didn’t feel object detection was likely good enough to handle various objects say to stock shelves in warehouse like stores

The other was power

If the stretch works one might wonder how many of them they’d have to employ to schedule them to recharge themselves throughout the day

It’s a shame humans as is can’t be trusted with too much free time given how the boomer generation and before willfully poisoned the minds of so many of their offspring creating this mess

We might have reached a point where life was mostly personal Enrichment and study and exercise and leisure where we all lived over a 100 years had minimal offspring reduced our destructive footprint on the world and well you get the idea

With more people working in closed shops we might have even reached this tech sooner

I wonder how prohibitive the price tag is how fast it runs out of power how destructive it is to non durable goods and the what other faults that have kept us from advancing into the golden age the last time I posted this before way way back now

Or maybe rich perverts don’t want to give up their monopoly of control over other peoples lives once were forced to change our lives economic system to adapt

Issue of course is population size
The replacement to honest labor and ingenuity or making a better world in the USA has been a short cut we commonly call slavery and that creates incentive for them most of evil people to breed continually and sell their children

Population in a time period of extreme leisure under normal circumstance would likely fall off

Humans would want to enjoy endless travel which is another problem if we keep cars that are based off fossil fuel

Much like increased tech has the trade off of increased usage of energy that is dirty like our nuclear plant problem in the USA where many places aren’t even carting their waste to Nevada down the 10 mile tunnel they’re supposed to be

So we’re stuck
Oh well
Hopefully there is reincarnation
Maybe I’ll come back as a cat

People just had to pull their insane shit when I was alive

Why couldn’t it have Ben something Normal like war or occupation or just hardship of some form instead of designed hardship to control good people and pattern bastards into this weird shit I see all around me because they’re both evil and afraid of losing what they have

Doesn’t this seem familiar ?
It should

Just like the competitors to Boston dynamics I’m looking up have been spawned as a result of YouTube presenting me with the same video as part of its algorithm heh

And also be because I mentioned that before