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If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.
"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"23 -
I know someone from Uni who used a green text on red background IDE to make sure the colourblind person sat next to him couldn't copy his code...11
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How it should be:
- First: solve the problem
- Second: Write your code.
How many people do:
- First: Write code
- Second: solve code problems
- Third: Adapt code with requirements
- Forth: get lost on your spaghetti code
- Sixth: make a suicide8 -
Me: I'm gonna write some code today. Try to push more commits in a single day than I did last week.
Github: You only get half a contribution tile today, bitch.
5 -
Have you ever written a piece of code so awesome, that you just had to go back, and look at it?
I have.9 -
Sometimes looking back at your code for documentation reasons and you really ask yourself "wow, did I make this? this is fucking genius"4
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99 bugs in the code. 99 bugs in the coooode. Squish one out, patch it around. 128 bugs in the code.4
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Code review, here the simplified version. What the fuck has to be wrong with someone who seriously codes the first variant in production code?!
19 -
Can't fall asleep because of unfinished code...
Wake up at 03:00 AM because of nightmares about bad code...
Too tired to finish code or rewrite bad code :'(7 -
How to Code...
“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live”
― John Woods2 -
"...the way he has written the code, it feels nasty man. I would have done it this way..."
Fuck you and your feelings. If you think my code is bad, give justification for it. Explain the fucking reason. Stop saying it "feels" like a bad code.
Fucking tired of this mentality in most of the developers. Why is it that the moment you look at someone else's code, you feel like you would have written it better. Programming is problem solving. And you can solve a problem in couple of different way.
If the code is absolute shit, has followed no best practices then yeah, go ahead and call it a bad code. But just because you would have moved some lines here and there, that doesn't mean the other persons code is horrible.
Goddamit!13 -
I code for fun until it isn’t any fun anymore, then I code because I need to finish.
But no code is ever finished.
I shall code forever!2 -
Me today at class, doing a group work, while suddenly I saw my colleague’s code looking very odd.
Me : “Why is your code like that?”
Her : “Like what?”
Me : “Its not spaced correctly... look its way over there”
Her : “Oh well, I just like it like that, its my style”
Me “...”
And im just like, if she post her code at SO, she wouldve been eaten alive...22 -
@dfox
!rant, it's the Feature request
Possibility to post `a code snippet with monospaced font` would be usefull.
Or even
```
def multiline_code():
from 2 to Inf:
"Lines of code"
```
Sth like in markdown.9 -
Shit code. I've done it, you've done it, we've all done it. Just keep working hard and improving. Eventually, you'll be writing better... shit code.4
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If your only experience is Uni, don't put skills down as 'Advanced' on your damn CV
Lower expectations, deliver results -
During code review:
Guy (also the same guy who pushes code without making unit tests): "Hey, this thing you added is unnecessary. Remove it."
Me: "Have you read the rest of the changes? It isn't unnecessary."
Guy: "Not yet"1 -
I'm now typing clean code. [1]
And it shows - the code really looks better. [2]
.
.
.
.
[1] I cleaned my keyboard by removing every single key and wiping it with alcohol.
[2] After I bought a new monitor, that is.1 -
That moment when the you actually think that this huge refactoring isn't worth it, but you do it anyway so you can live with yourself...
Code quality is love. Code quality is life.1 -
You know it...from the introductory page of "Clean Code" by Robert C. Martin.
Which door represents your code?
2 -
If programmers became musicians we would see
- Wake me up when my build ends, 21 cores, Boulevard of broken CI pipelines by Blue Screen Day
- Smoke from my cabinet by Deep For-Loop
- This is how you debug me by Loopback
- Post-release rhapsody by debug queen
- Another bug in the code by Programmer Floyd
- Smells like bad code by Coders from Botswana
- A place for my code, Cure for the bug by Likin to code at dark
etc etc..5 -
I was asked by a client to code review their platform built in PHP. The platform was becoming slow and new features built by their current IT supplier broke existing features.
I gained access to the source code... One PHP file (index.php) containing about 80K lines of code... I am impressed and disgusted at the same time. 😂3 -
My code!
Looking at the previous version of my code, pushes me to write a better one! All the time!1 -
Writing clean code is what you must do in order to call yourself a professional. There is no reasonable excuse for doing anything less than your best. - Clean Code2
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The best way to write maintainable code is to imagine the next person who has to debug your code. Then imagine that they have your phone number, personal address, and your daily schedule.8
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Fuckwit tried to lecture me on clean code.
Checked his work, it seems like he writes the spaghettiest spaghetti I've ever seen. Who would have guessed it. At least he knows that something called 'clean code' exists.5 -
I hired a coder to write a WordPress plugin on my dev server. He no longer works for me and is unreachable. The plugin does most of what it needs to do. But when I dig into the code and the database to find what should be obvious bits of code that do obvious things? None of that code is found. Not even with a recursive directory keyword search for that should be easy to find like CSS class names and IDs. Even the data that comes from the database and that I see on the screen is not actually present in the database!!! Yet it all works. I'm pretty sure at this point the code and data reside in a parallel dimension only the coder can get to. How do I debug code that doesn't actually exist?!13
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Everytime I'm digging into some random legacy code where no one knows its original intention I'm seeing "Software Archeologist" as a well-paid job sooner or later...
Fucking undocumented legacy code...1 -
when you spend hours trying to patch code you poorly structured of which 30 minutes is enough to rewrite the whole damn thing.5
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Half fact: Code reviews help to maintain clean codebases.
Full fact: Code reviews are a way to find out who secretly wants you fired.4 -
Manager : what is "looks good" in code review comment??? You have to be more detailed.
Me in next code review : It is not aesthetically pleasing, but it gets the job done. -
How I see my code,
If(){else]:
Do -> this & that with them;
While (for)and >>;
//It takes me forever to figure our my own code
How I see someone else's code,
%fGu$@@)$'®}£jfksksj℅™™}£}∆¢b&jjwoajqh-2+=•{(=jajaJJwUUhh-jtffhk®{£{™>>¥,©®¢€££∆¶¶|×££{©]•{%$==¢++''). 92%+$+
//well I am not sure how in the world I manage to understand someone else's shit -
I just hate it when a co-worker says "AS LONG AS IT WORKS. It doesn't matter how you code it as long as it outputs what the client/user wants. They don't check how you code it anyway" *facepalm*
We effin' follow standards so that it will be convenient for everybody!
Bad code is still bad code if you don't follow standards even if it works.4 -
That moment when code reuse makes you reuse reused code and you actually reuse a BUG.
You decide to go for code reusing when your boss asks: "Can you add an edit popup besides that 'add customer' popup button?". You do some little tweaks to the "new customer" code and it allows that to save over an existing entry, cool.
However, after a lot of time spent on reviewing the resulting PR, turns out there was a dormant bug on the code you reused, and it woke up with its new use.
That code was a bad copy-pasta from another, bigger form, which included a whole bunch of optional fields. As it was only used to save new entries, those now missing fields were simply being saved as empty. But as you reused that to save existing entries, you were now cleaning up all those optional fields without noticing.1 -
-*sleeping frustated cause of code errors*
brain: hey, wake up! I think I know the solution of that code
-*wake up at 4 am*
-*do the code*
-*get more errors*
Fuck this life1 -
Reviewing the code of my then new CTO, who said "I can also code and have experience in Java" - 50 lines of code, I added over 30 comments to his Pull Request. In the end, I rewrote his complete code.2
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Going through legacy or other developers code which don't have documentation or even comments. Plus the author of the code is not working in same organisation anymore to consult. We have to understand the code like deciphering any ancient language. 😥2
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Just going through some old code from git repo's and code examples and I have a message to every dev out there after seeing some of the code quality...
Never... ever... ever fucking give variables with names like vx, tr and sq.
Give your variables names that explain what they are, it is so fucking hard trying to follow code that has 2 letter variable names and there is a special place in hell for you :-)3 -
I have been asked to submit a piece of code for review for an interview, something I'm proud of writing.
What kind of code snippet would you submit? (A custom sort.. a tricky bit of data manipulation etc)7 -
The one thing they do not say about low-code tools is how much code you have to write when their undocumented garbage doesn't fucking work.
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I think I'm a good developer. I have pretty decent debugging skills, including pulling apart disassembled x86 and other architecture code.
I'm fascinated by how things work.
But almost everything is catered for by a library. Or has already been done.
I find it enjoyable to create a library or program myself, but get disheartened when I find some library or program that is written seemingly very well, compared to my own code. And then I start to think I'm not a good developer after all.
Sort of relates to my previous rant about repeatedly rewriting code.
Applies to me doing programming as a hobby but probably affects my code at work as well... I just can't help but think my code is probably awful compared to what someone else might write.
...then I see incredibly ugly, messy, badly written code by other people and I feel better...
I suppose it is like an artist who sees amazing works but cannot paint to that standard, but is well beyond drawing stick figures with crayons.
Sounds like a trivial problem but it probably impedes my progress with a lot of things.3 -
If you are posting code to DevRant, be prepared to explain the intention of the code, and to be commented on every aspect.
You can't just "ah look at this line..." And expect us to ignore the rest of the picture!!1 -
But Why ??
Saw this I a project that my company wanted me to fix and maintain. There are more hilarious things like this. (I will keep you updated)
and I am finding things like this in the code.
2 -
What is the best way to do a code review for a colleague's code, without coming out as a complete ass?16
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If you are writing all your code from scratch, you are probably an amateur.
If you are copying and pasting most of your code, you are probably a beginner. -
Yo dawg, I heard you like writing code for code you already wrote. So I made you write some mock functions so you can write code for code you already wrote!2
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What is easy to code at the moment isnt necessarily the best code in the long run.
- From the dev currently maintaining spaghetties of spaghetti code -
Sublime Text could've became the greatest and fastest code editor of all time if it was supported with good extensions. Now we're left with electron based code editors that are slow with big projects.6
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My code doesn't work> I have no idea why !
My code works> I have no idea why !
........ :-/ ........1 -
Customer has design review for big project I’m working on, have to sit with someone who isn’t a developer and explain my code.
Cunts, cunts, cunts.
If you don’t understand or know about code maybe you shouldn’t be a code reviewer. -
I just love code-golf, I only started recently, but sometimes it's nice to fuck all coding conventions, missuse lazy evaluation and abuse scope leaking.
I'm normally really tidy with formating and whitespace placement, but code-golf is also a testing field for uncommen constructs and I think it can give deeper insights into a language.
I don't like languages specifically for code-golf though, these are just stupid and no fun (at least for me).1 -
Today, coworker looked at some code of mine and asked me why I was repeating code and doing things foolishly, I told him I just wanted it to work and would make it pretty after. It felt really good making my code readable after knowing that it already worked.1
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You know what's worse than reading someone else's code? Reading someone else's code with comments that make absolutely no sense!
It's like deciphering hieroglyphics. If you're going to comment, at least give me a hint, not a riddle.
It's not a treasure hunt; it's coding!2 -
Reading code takes time!
Everytime I read:
"var" or "auto" Add: 10s
- Just use the type
Everytime I read:
if(Expression1 && Expression() ? GetNumber() : 0 > 0) Add: 30s
- Just write two if statements or create two bools the line above.
Everytime I read:
delegate = () => {} Add another 5 minutes of reading time.
- Just write a separate function for it. It helps with searching and understand what it does
Please code like the person that needs to check your code or change it just knows basic coding skills and logics.
I do know all these concepts I just never use them because it makes the code unreadable. hard to follow, mistakes that can happen everywhere. difficult to search.
And it frustrates that I need to read 10 extra lines to understand code flow or hover my mouse in an IDE to figure out what type object it is.
It's properly just me... I just like clean readable code. that is logical and failsafe and strict and deterministic with its behavior9 -
A senior dev wrote spaghetti code containing business logic in the fucking controller with some code repeated in a couple of other places.
This is when a facepalm is not enough.1 -
Working now 8 months at a company. (C++)
Every feature becomes a refactor and a code clean
Every bug becomes a refactor and a code clean
Every Refactor becomes a code purge. :/1 -
"Code"
And the website says "Lonely geeky people do need apply"
So I put my on my glasses and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I shook his hand and, I said "I am glad I will be working for you."
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
And the sign says "If you want to use this site you must accept our cookies"
So I found the CEOs address and doxxed him all night!
To put up a dialog and block content from my sight.
If Todd was here, he'd tell it to your face, man, "it just works"
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Oh, say now mister, can't you code
You got to have a laptop and a hoodie to get a job
You can't work, no you can't standup, you ain't supposed to be here
And the website says "You got to have an employee ID to get inside" - yo!
And the website says "Everybody welcome, come in, code and share"
But then they passed around a git pull at the end of it all
And I didn't have a character to code
So I got me laptop and I made up my own fuckin' code
I typed, "Thank you OSS for thinking 'bout me, I'm alive and doing fine", yeah
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Yes! Some old song, called "Code code", I wish we did write that one, but
We didn't - git blame!
Hello World!6 -
I feel like I am trapped in a maze of a 20 year code base so many dead ends. Dead code...dead code everywhere1
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When your computer science teacher asks to write the psedo code and flow chart first, instead of just coding the program. That frustration!!!!9
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Writes 4 years worth of CRM code.
Forgets TimeZone Support.
1 Week later, supports TimeZone.
REFACTORING! -
Code
That one day you suffering from Obsessive code disorder and Oh boy you love it.Bugs got no chance. -
So when i was playing saxophone, I realized that music and coding are just the same. When you get a new score to play you need to start over by learning how to play it. When you code and start a new project you need to start from zero. When you play the score over and over you learn from your mistakes. When you code you debug your faults when there is something wrong in your code. At the exam you need to make no faults when you play music. When you’re at the deadline. There shouldn't be no faults in your code
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Doing a code review (Of code written by another person...different code styles and weird methods can really get you a gray hair or two :D)2
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You can be very good at writing algorithms and good quality code, but if your architecture is garbage, you'll be doing hacky fixes and end up with a spaghetti code.3
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Don't you just love when you try to recycle code you wrote 2 years ago just to find that the modules you used haven't been updated and your code has gone to shit ;)3
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Worked on two (small) errors for about half my day. I've had them before but fuck I've never spend more than an hour on one. Decided to stop and go for a walk and game a bit after.
Came back today and instead of opening my code in VS Code I opened it in ST3 and I went through the errors again and I fixed it. I tried doing the same on VS Code but it didn't work just like yesterday.
Now, I've only had posititve experiences with VS Code and I really like, but what the actual fuck. Has anyone experienced this before and are there solutions or ways to prevent this? What is the cause anyway?
Also would appreciate some suggestions for code editors, love ST3 but I wanna try something new (I know, if it ain't broke don't fix it, got me) -
'Where to code' or 'when to code'?
Which one is more important than the other to you?
(Or are they equally important?)7 -
Me : Here, a list with multiple strings, do your job, Foreach block
Code : *do only one iteration*
that code is lazier than me1 -
If you have messy and disgusting desk, messy and disgusting car, pretty sure your code is messy and disgusting as well.
Sincerely,
Your team who is fed up with maintaining your shitty code6 -
I don’t like commented code in a project, I always remove commented code whenever I see. But sometimes these removed commented codes need again to add by uncommenting.
I can get the code by seeing the git history but if only I can remember I removed that portion of code. So is there is any best approach to manage commented code, which may require in real future?3 -
When people "simplify" their code by refactoring a singular line of code into a completely separate function. The purpose of which is to prepend "https://"3
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Motherfucking middle fucking mouse button paste always fucks up the fucking code and it's too fucking late when you realise it.6
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Do you 'draft' your code?
I'm just really curious, as I'm not a developer; but I've been doing dev work for the last 8 months...
I just realised today, that 'drafting' my code on paper makes my workflow 10^10 times better and intuitive.
Like, just writing a rough code block with what function I'm going to use and how I'm going to form an equation, etc...
Or do you guys just jump straight ahead and start pushing out code?2 -
I have a habit to comment every single line of code, this helps comprehension but this dirty the code and everyone complain. Is it any way to do such task.6
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There's nothing worst than legacy code without documentation. That means I have to spend more time understanding the legacy code than actually coding.4
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We were learning how to code circles to light up in sequence. As it's similar to how code works for Arduino. Cool. Go back to c# in Unity and teach what the code does not just copy.
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When I get a code review by my self-proclaimed expert colleague suggesting a change that ends up breaking the feature, I just implement that spaghetti code and let the testers know I'm not to blame.
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Hey guys!
I am looking for good "whats wrong with this code" snippets with as little lines of code as possible!11
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