"Don't use git, it is too complicated and we don't have time for this."

2 days later the same person made changes directly on the FTP which I later unknowingly overwrote.
Take that you imbecile!

"Let me just check devrant while the IDE is launching..."

Dumbest feature request was to hide log out button so that people do not leave the website 😂

Things I regret immediately after doing it:
1) Masturbation
2) Overeating
3) git commits

SFW version of '50 Shades of Grey'

# I am not a VIM user.

Self hosted Gitlab server :-)

Joker: If you are good at something don’t do it for free
Me: (thinking) How much shall I charge to introduce bugs into someone’s code? 🤣

Discussion between me and my N+1
(Note : I'm in the company for 3 months)

Me : As the tech leader, shouldn't you review my code ?
N+1 : I'm not the tech leader.
Me : Wait what ?
N+1 : I wrote the app from A to Z, hence I'm the architect.
Me : That's what I mean. Being the most knowledgable dev in the company makes you de facto tech leader.
N+1 : No, I'm not the tech leader. The CEO is.
Me : But he didn't even know the tech we are using !
N+1 : .... Anyway, I won't do code reviews. I don't like that.

(2 hours later)

N+1 : You made a mistake in the code. You broke a hidden functionality. You should be more careful, or ask me if you have doubts.

This guy is collector.

*Overhearding Convos*

A : "Dude, have you tried vim? It sucks!"

B: "I know right, why do they have to make it so hard to use..."

Me whispering : Git Gud Boi...

i'm a backend developer trying to work with css.

fml.

My fellow coworker's commit history of last 24 hours. And my boss was surprised when I told him I'm leaving the company..

Guy from work: "I have a messy coding style ¯\_(ツ)_/¯".

No, you have a bad coding style. Your repetitive uncommented spaghetti code isn't an artistic expression of your quick imaginative mind jumping from thought to thought. It's a horrible mess that shows me that either you can't do any better or you don't care.

How do you fix a bug in a badly written code?
You don't. You re-write that shit!

Risk free :-D

When I hear sales guy using technical terms in the wrong context while doing his sales pitch to a client...

My own language, hence my own parser.

Reinvented the regular expression before realizing it already existed (Google didn't exist at the time).

I'm a living reference for regular expressions since then.

My designer made this after overhearing a conversation DEVS were having.

!rant, a success story.

I made a tool for a live streamer I like, for free. Something to find highlights in a VOD based on the chatlog.

It took me around 15h to make. It is a very simple electron app, the "valuable" code is ~70 lines.
I wasn't sure he would even bother to try it.

Anyways, I send it to him. 10 minutes later, the guy tells me that "this is amazing! You just saved me hours of derushing my streams ❤️"

That's great already, but it does not end there. A few minutes later he asks me "I know other streamers that would love it, can I share? And can I add you in our private discord?"

I have now a direct access to some of the best youtubers/streamers in my country 🤩.

@dfox I just want to say thank you !

Most of my friends are not devs at all. Thanks to you, I can share my adventures to people that actually understand what I'm talking about.

This is priceless.

Went to an interview for the position ‘PHP Web Developer’. Interviewer scans through my CV for 2mins and then starts the interview.
Interviewer: Do you know Java?
Me: I know Java but I don’t have any professional experience
Interviewer: Do you know Hadoop?
Me: No. I’ve never worked on it
Interviewer: Our company works on Hadoop hence you should be able to work on that after joining.
Me: I thought this is a PHP web dev position.
Interviewer: Of course. But you will have work on various other things too!
Me: I don’t think I want to become jack of all trades. Thanks for the opportunity!
I got up and left the interview...

You can hate me: as a 34 year old php developer, i've never used git in my workflow...
I plan to start today using it on one of my personal project (only because i have arrived at "backup-49.rar")(yes i develop on windows).
Finger crossed

Centering.

When you apply breakpoint to the 'if' statement but 'else' part gets executed...

When server is fed up of serving captcha 😆

#truth

Client: We need video chatting facility in our website
Me: Ok. But it will take more time and effort. It will cost you more too!
Client: Don't build from scratch. We use Skype in our company. Just embed in our website too!
Me: **facepalm**

always pull before commiting.

Working on a group project for uni and this dude asks me "why would you ever use github instead of google drive?" because git gud you cunt

3 Easy step to learn and use git :
1. git commit
2. git push
3. git gud

Yeah sex is nice, but have you tried building your own CMS from scratch and finally begin to use the UI your set up yourself instead of typing urls in the address bar?

Some devs like to write meaningless or too general commit messages.

Stop it. Get help.

Call 0800-GITGUDBOIII where real experts talk version control.

That moment when your manager tells you that he's okay with ultra-flexible schedules, because "I trusts you 100%. You proved your value, please come late if you prefer"

I love my job

got new glasses today.
c++.

...i'll show myself out.

Git gud...

Seriously, get comfortable with Git, it'll make your life a lot easier.

I tell a colleague, "Hey, could you make your commits more meaningful? A commit message of '.' helps nobody.".

He then uses 'no message' for his commits.

Also, commits every 30 seconds. I know commit often... But is that really necessary?

Why.

Uuh... ok, then

TL;DR: Tech companies. Don't ask for loyalty if you don't care about your people.

> I'm a gud Dev (and a gud boi).
> The company assing me a cool project.
> The company promised pay me the training. about that suite. They didn't.
> I finish the project and i'd accomplish the task with more effectivity than excepted.
> My company won an interview about "the success case of the implemented software and its integration with our software". They denied me the chance to fly and go to the meet. Instead they will send another guy...
> I asked for a "salary adjust" cos I'm finishing my engineering degree and my good work. They declined.
> Next day I'd present my volunteer job resignation within 15 days (because laws demands that). I have a better job option with +20% my actual salary and a lot of benefits. And they needs me ASAP.
> Everybody look at me shocked and if I am a traitor.

What the f!$-k they did expect?
My unconditional loyalty?
🤣🤣🤣

I was given a work to refactor one of my colleagues code and found that there was a variable named 'anal'. I was quite surprised seeing it as the colleague was a soft spoken and well behaved guy in office. After scratching my head for 15mins I came to know that he was storing analytics data in that variable. Hence the name! :-D

Found out that the company I'm currently working, gave me only 6 mandatory holidays for this calendar year. When I asked my boss why is it too low, he got so furious as if I asked him to donate his kidney!

What is this, windows?? how am i, the software publisher, supposed to change this if you don't bother to give a proper fucking error? whoever created this, i hope you die choking on a goat's intestines

My wife wouldn't stop asking me to help her with FB. As a joke I told her if she didn't quit, I'd delete it (Tech stuff goes over her head like a 747). Well, she kept on so I opened up the Dev tools. I started by adding just some non sense to one of the divs. She saw it pop up on screen and was like "Wait...you can really do that?" then I highlighted the body tag and hit backspace. The whole thing disappeared, it was great. She legit freaked out for a minute and begged me to fix it. I popped up the console and started typing random things. Created an array with some mumbo-jumbo, a couple of quick, meaningless functions and snuck hitting Ctrl+R in there, refreshing the page. She was so happy that Facebook worked again, that she stopped asking me how to do whatever it was

Reinvent the wheel, then throw it away.
Best way to understand a concept

If programmers became musicians we would see
- Wake me up when my build ends, 21 cores, Boulevard of broken CI pipelines by Blue Screen Day
- Smoke from my cabinet by Deep For-Loop
- This is how you debug me by Loopback
- Post-release rhapsody by debug queen
- Another bug in the code by Programmer Floyd
- Smells like bad code by Coders from Botswana
- A place for my code, Cure for the bug by Likin to code at dark

etc etc..

Moment when your boss catches you reading dev-rants while you are supposed to be working...

How I find most "modern" JavaScript frameworks

When the impostor syndrome hits me, I try to remember my achievements :
- I won a national coding contest when I was 18,
- I made and still maintain a complex app for 15 years, still actively used,
- I cannot count the number of languages I know; too many of them...

Not bragging here, btw. It's just important to actually enumerate your achievements.
If you get hit by the IS, just remember what you did 😉.

> creates new PR for open source project
> runs tests locally before pushing
> pushes
> waits 8h (not kidding) for appveyor checks to complete
> tests failed

MOTHERF-

From 8 cores to 12; from 16Gb to 32; from SATA to NVMe; from 60Hz to 144

I love Moore's Law

!rant
I'm an idiot. I freely admit this. I spent a solid 3 hours on a new endpoint in a WCF service, only to have it looked upon and told to fix it. I knew that the service I was calling didn't work like that. I did, I knew it. I didn't think about it while coding the endpoint, but I knew it. At least the changes only needed to happen in one file, and only took about 25 minutes with tests and all. But damn it, I knew better. I looked at my buddy, straight in the eye, and told him "Told you I was an idiot." He laughed, I laughed, the table laughed, we killed the table. It was a great time!

Backend colleague : the API is online. It's tested and working, you can start the dev.

Me trying to manually call the API with all the fields pre validated : "error : invalid fields"

EVERY. FUCKING. TIME !

To all the backend developers : we are NOT your personal testers, and we are NOT supposed to clean your mess because you're too lazy to FUCKING TEST THE HAPPY PATH!!!

Thank you for your consideration.

Merge conflicts in git I guess 😄

This gem of a game. Partly cause i'm a contributor, partly cause i'm a space junkie.

Is this advertising? maybe.
Am i in love? definitely.

Me: okay brain! We had our morning coffee. We're ready to work. Lots of things to do today.

Brain: yay! I feel unstoppable! Can't wait for logic problems and amazing things we're going to build! What's the plan?

Me: great! Today we're going to work on the ios implementation of our app. Where should we start?

Brain: ...

Me: brain?

Programming while blasting the doom eternal soundtrack is something else

Just got my first 2 tor relays running; one with 20MB/s, one with 60MB/s. FeelsGoodMan.

Dates are f***ing annoying, we humans deal with them in such a weird way. It's almost impossible to define a algorithm dealing with them consistently.

TL;DR : do we need a read-only git proxy

Guys, I just thought about something and this potential gitpocalypse.

There is no doubt anymore that regardless of Microsoft's decisions about Github, some projects will or already have migrated to the competition.

I'm thinking : some projects use the git link to fetch the code. If a dependency gets migrated, it won't be updated anymore, or worse, if the previous repo gets deleted, it can break the project.

Hence my idea : create some repository facade to any public git repository (regardless of their actual location).
Instead of using github.com/any/thing.git, we could use opensourcegit.com/any/thing.git. (fake url for the sake of the example).
It would redirect to the right repository (for public read only), and the owner could change the location of the actual repository in case of a migration.

What do you think ? If I get enough ++'s, I'll create a git repo about this.

Why did Nintendo stop making the Wii U? It was time for a Switch!

what you gits
^_~

it sucks!
Fuck asynchronous code because

What to do with a web development intern who doesn't understand the concept of git even after 3 weeks of joining?
PS: Can't fire her

!rant
Just started working for a new company. Super cool. Just like the last one (as far as perks), except they actually trust their devs.

Old company: Make sure your code is extensible
Devs at old company: You know it's not written in stone right?
Old company: Does that mean you can make it do this?
Devs at old company: No. That's the wrong code base

New company: I need a feature. Get it done when you can
New company devs: Well, guess I'll take some time to refactor all this stuff while I'm at it
~Some time later~
New company: Thanks, that feature works great!

No staring over shoulders, asking when it will be done. No asking why we want to refactor something. As long as work continues to flow, there are no issues. It's great!

Also, if we want to try a new tech, we just have to put together a short paper explaining why it will work better in that situation than the tech that's already in place.

Ms teams is a pile of shit.

That is all.

My team is using Teams to share code snippets. And because I know they don't (know how to?) use git remotes, I have to share my code through Teams as well.

Programming commandment: Thou shall, from time to time look at your old code, introspect and improve!

When you push seemingly harmless untested code to production server which breaks the whole application...

I wanted to be able to physically start a home computer remotely.

- raspberry pi
- power relay to simulate the button
- a messenger chatbot linked to my account only

Now my local server is startable from anywhere

**My Resume** : Worked with JavaScript and .NET for the last 3 years ... have an Associates degree...more things

**Recruiter**
You look like you'd be a great fit for this position. We require a Bachelors degree, but we're willing to take 4 years progressive experience in lieu of each year of schooling.

**First**
4 YEARS of experience for EACH YEAR of school?

**Me**
I guess basic reading and math aren't required to be a job recruiter? Man...Only 5 more years and I'll be able to see how my skills as a developer with 8 years of professional experience will go over as an Entry level developer!

Within 20 minutes of posting a question on stack overflow it was down voted - with no explanation. Fucking hate that site

!activism

Guys, what should we do about Article 13 ?

The bill passed, well, that's unfortunate. We can still scream as loud as we can that it's a very bad idea, but let's face it, it won't probably work...

Personally, I'm sick of this shit. Every year they try to "regulate" the web with a new fucked-up legislation that they actually don't understand. I don't blame them for not knowing any better, but I blame them not to surround themselves with actually competent people (and no, lobbies are NOT competent, only interested).

So there it is : I want to act on this one. With traditional, ineffective methods (petitions, mails...), but I want to get further this time.

Here are some ideas :
- create/promote a platform explicitly made for "copyrighted" stuff (basically memes). Located outside of EU. But is it enough for being outside of the law ?
- Put some physical-paper memes near the EU parliament (I live in Brussels), just to mess with them ^_^
- Make the filtering algorithms crazy by spamming them with copyrighted content. I doubt this one will have any effect though...

Any ideas ? Let's go crazy there, they deserve it.

The very reason that made me a developper is back home from mom and dad's. Say hi, megadrive!

University, first year. I went to my Java/OOP teacher's office to about the course (I had started programming C++ ~5 years ago).

I wanted to discuss the fact that some parts of the course seemed too theoretical for beginners in my opinion. Rookie mistake : do not criticize the cursus of an academic if you are in your first year, even when you are right. I learned it the hard way...

The teacher started to tell me that I was just a first-year student, I had no experience yada yada...

To that I replied "I'm doing C++ for 5 years. This is OOP so yeah I do know a little more than you think".

I will never forget his reply "LOL C++ is not Object-Oriented !"

I never went to his course after that. I learned a few years later that the teacher was a well-known a**hole along his peers and got fired by the University...

I hate these idiots that post source code examples as an image just so they can keep their cool highlighting and style. How the fuck am I supposed to test that without re-typing the whole thing myself? Ever try OCR on source code? Not too great, is it.

Notepad++

No reason. Just don’t like it anymore!

Sometimes I get so frustrated seeing my old code, I wanna travel back in time and slap myself!

When your boss tells you to work on legacy PHP4 codebase...

me++ 🎂

This happened 3 years ago in my previous company. It was a small start up company and we worked on PHP stack. One of the its ex-founders had written Windows Mobile App which now had to be upgraded with new features. So we hired this new dot net guy. I always thought dot net guys were ELITE coders and was excited to see how they work.
While I played Xbox and had fun, our dot net guy stuck to his workstation furiously working. My boss who was casually strolling out of his office for a stretch saw dot net guy working hard and suggested we all developers should take him as an example.
20 days went by and each day the dot net guy did the same. He came, he silently worked on his workstation, he left in the evening. In those 20 days my boss asked twice to the dot net guy if he has finished features he was assigned but he said he did not. After a month when he said the same negative answer and had nothing to show for the work he has done he was fired.
I was so curious to see what code that ELITE coder had written for a month but could not deliver a feature(Maybe some error he could not fix?). So I open the code repo on which he worked and I see 30 commits from that guy to it. He had made a single commit each day(Fair enough he wants to commit everday before leaving). It was time to check his commit diffs to see his ELITE code. What do I find? In every fucking commit he either added a blank line to the DocBlock or removed the same. Nothing less nothing more! So much for the hyped not-so-ELITE dot net guy...

Go to the office, start the computer, get some coffee, open up Eclipse...

Java.lang.NullPointerException

Fuck this shit.

Why are all the feminists silent who support equality between genders regarding the Jeff Bezos case? They should suggest her to be independent and not take her husbands assets right? 🤔🤔

You know, one of my fav ranters constantly shits on one of my main languages :P which is Java. But shit I would lie if I said that I have not learned something from what he has to say. Truth be told I am aware of the pitfalls and bad design decissions of a lot of my favorite langs: Python, PHP, JS, Java, Go etc. And I think it is benefitial to everyone to understand the things that our fav stacks fail at doing in order to become better devs.

So lets give a round of applause to those angry mofockas that make us see the shit that is wrong with what we use and learn more from each other.

watched first two episodes of mr. robot and it seems pretty good so far. does it go like other hacker shows/movies or does it stay good?

Programming commandment: Thou shall not commit code snippet copied from StackOverflow without adding a comment to help future coder brethren!

Memory leak. Fuck off

Just turned off the PC and realized i forgot to commit and push

about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞

Holiday was gud 🤩 Now some rest and work tomorrow 😴 If anyone wants some good steaks for dinner, I could put my calves up on ebay for a nice price 🤣

Ranting ranter ranted a rant on ranting ranter ranting

These days programming has boiled down to how optimally can you find solution to your problem using search tools!

Bae: i <3 u
Me: Uncaught SyntaxError: Unexpected identifier

Has anyone else noticed when ever a question of what framework to use where React could apply, people have the shittiest reasons for using it.

"React is gud, you should use it. Ima say React a few more times to sell you on it."

"React makes my code better so it's gud."

"React react react react react."

Do your research guys, don't trust this hype-driven bullshit.

I have 99 problems but a merge conflict ain't one of 'em

Programming commandment: Thou shall blame all bad code on thy comrade who has bequeathed your company!

(!= rant && == story)

Sooo it's 1:35AM.
Just had a call with boss to show that everything is done.
Bossy ses gud night.

Skype call ends, who the fuck is Alice starts playing in my headphones, the night is dark and I'm siting near my desk lamp, Geez lonelynes level is over 9000

In my head: wait, what now?🤨

Guys, I just received a *constructive* comment about a code of mine on StackOverflow.

WTF is going on?

veri gud

Colleague: We need to deliver it today so let's hardcode some values in the code to make it work
Me: Ok you do it. I don't even want to see it!

wk108 is truly wholesome. thank you all for making me smile.

when you tell your boss 'we need to talk' and he looks genuinely worried 😀

Hello world.

I tried so hard and debugged so far
But in the end it didn't even matter
As I rewrote function call to loose it all!

I've now for months been lurking on this awesome app and I love the community. I've been trying to self learn coding but kept hitting a wall. But now i'm starting in school to learn coding and i'm so exited to learn it and be a part of this awesome community.

I always wondered how it would be to have English as mother tongue.

Because :
- Insects are causing problems in computers,
- you're using a glass door or a fruit for OS (well, some of us),
- the internet is made of people bringing your glass in the restaurant,
- you navigate on the spider's fiber,
- ...

That must feel weird considering it's the same words that you use for other parts of your life

"Hello sir, do you have time to talk about...."

Shut the fuck up. Sit the fuck down. Name your stack. I know how to fucking work with it. If I did not select it it is because it was not the right choice. I did not spent 4 years teaching myself to code AND later on obtaining a B.S in Computer Science(another number of years) as well as obtaining industry grade experience for you to tell me what I should use.

Loop in python

Who is excited to watch Snowden movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt as Snowden?

swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?

I would build something to go in space. Probably in the energy or propulsion field.

I have zero Knowledge in those, but hey, unlimited time.

Habit I'm trying to fix?
Doing it all myself. I've been timeboxing my problems and forcing myself to ask instead of forcing myself to just figure it out myself. Communication isn't my strong point.

About a year ago, the organization I work for decided we don't really need team leads. We would be more self organizing if we didn't have technical leads. Now, one of those former leads who feels out of place can't get over it. She is constantly trying to add her two cents -- which is totally cool -- but in such a way as to make it sound/seem like we need to do what she says. Also, based on everything I've seen from her coding ability, I'm not sure how she ever became a tech lead. That's coming from me, and let me tell you, I feel SUPER junior sometimes. Like how the hell did they ever offer me a job junior. Well anyway, another dude was working with her the other day (we do pair programming) and snapped. He flipped out for like a solid 3 minutes on her. It was the most awkward thing I think I've ever experienced.

This summer, i will have all the time in the world. I will be finally free (as in, alone at home). And, most importantly, i will have a months old kitten to take care of.

I'm so excited.

PM: OK team. There seems to have been some confusion over card AAA-111. So from now on we need to be specific in the cards and make sure we have AC and a description of the issue

Devs: Thanks, we appreciate that

PM: makes card
Card: Why is it slow (yes, that's the actual card title)
Card: ... nothing else, completely blank

Devs: Wtf?

PM: these are supposed to be conversation starters guys!

Devs: JUST TELL US THE PROBLEM! WE'LL ASK WHEN WE NEED TO

fuck u aws

all that money and u can't read idiot proof documentation for me to have SQS connect to a VPC endpoint to read a message

also fuck u search algorithms for not handing me an easy bake solution to what is a not a novel situation

also fuck me for being unable to git gud

just bought (rented) my first dedicated server, for flipping 10€/month. let's see how it goes! boy, am i excited for my new toy...

"No signature of method: build_4z0stktnpkjsyfd6ol74tcab1.android() is applicable for argument types: (build_4z0stktnpkjsyfd6ol74tcab1$_run_closure2) values: [build_4z0stktnpkjsyfd6ol74tcab1$_run_closure2@5edbe9fa]"

Thank You gradle. This is very useful.... FML

One of the colleagues I am close with is changing teams. They will still be around the company, in fact the office of the team they are going to is right by mine. It just sucks to lose a good developer and friend from the team.

A coder and a non-coder were travelling on a boat together. Due to some reason there was a hole in that boat and it started to drown. Non-coder survived but coder didn't. Why? Coder thought it was just another loop hole which he could fix using his laptop. So much for his confidence!

Going to release the biggest feature I have implemented for Product I work on. Change in more than 150 files and it is very very critical.
Wish me luck..

Writing one dev-rant a day keeps dev-frustrations away!

had an interview at a place that went good at the technical part but I didn't do great at their 'abstract' questions. the guys interviewing were complete stone faced as well, no personality, pretty sure I wouldn't have liked working there anyways. a few years later and they are still looking for people. the recruiter rings up and I said I wouldn't want to re-interview unless the process had changed. he guaranteed me it had. so I went back in and it was exactly the same. exactly the same technical questions, followed by more abstract questions. different guys but same no-personalities. never going back

Use the terminal inside ide or external?

Today's conversation in our odc

Person 1: Jenkins Down
Person 2: YouTube or Facebook
Person 1: No... Twitter
Person 2: Gud it means you guys are not blocked...

Awesome troll...

😂 😂 😂

My brother (not a dev) asked me for help for his A* algorithm he's trying to optimize.

I'm so proud

Devrant freezes when switching to different app then back again. A bit random though, has happened a couple of times but can't reproduce it.

I was an introvert while growing up hence I found interacting with non-living things easier. When I was 11 i.e. like 17 years I told my parents to enroll me into computer classes. They didn't see much of a future in it so they refused. I fought hard and finally they agreed. Hence started my journey with computers.

First week all students were allowed to explore the computer we were assigned and also were taught to play basic Windows 95 default games to make it interesting. It was all fun. Next week the teacher said he would be teaching us how to tell computer to do what we want i.e. programming. Hearing that I could make my computer do what I want excited me a lot. I felt I could finally communicate to a computer. This is how I learnt BASIC. I was so amazed I could do so many things like take input and do calculations etc. I decided I would do this kind of job in the future if it exists.

So now I am actually doing what I wanted to do when I started programming i.e. coding job!

Holiday is gud ...

Guys, serious question.

I work in a startup as a cto. We have a very low budget and considering hiring people offshore.

Does anyone have some experience in hiring and piloting a remote team? Would you recommend it?

Piddling, and trying to learn some game stuff. Very simple game stuff.
Example code:

if (level % 10 === 0...) {
speed += 0.3;
...
} else if (level % 5 === 0...) {
speed += 0.1;
...
}

But because Javascript, console log reads:
speed: 0.5 <-- this is the initial console log
speed: 0.6
speed: 0.8999999999999999
speed: 0.9999999999999999

Well done Javascript, well done.

At what point do you leave?
I totally get Amazon's principle of 'disagree and commit' but how many disagreements with your COO, CEO, does it take to make you say:
Fuck this, I'm out of here

Checking out a project on GitHub:

> Using advanced condition-based AI logic, Compactor can skip over files that have been previously found to be incompressible, making re-running Compactor on a previously compressed folder much quicker.
> (Yes, it's an if statement and a trivial hash database, hush)

Git is good. Even when I do stupid things like reset a commit I wasn't supposed to, it gives me the chance to fix those mistakes.

(Oops. !rant)

Worst interview was when I attended interview for the position of PHP and the interviewer started grinding me with C++ questions starting with STLs. Could not answer most of them, interviewer said to get my act together and try again after 3 months. Nope not gonna happen!

ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME, WINDOWS?

I finally give in and install your stupid ass update, and what happens? let's just skip the part where i sit around for 30 minutes because apparently it takes 30 fucking minutes to install 300MB - by stallman's underpants, that's 150KB per second!
and when windows FINALLY feels like it has finished fondling it's binary-balls, what is waiting for me?

about 10 stupid-ass data-consent notices straight from satans anus, more weird yes-or-maybe settings for cortana (bill gates' ex or whatever that is) which i don't even USE, my browser speed dial has been complemented by about 7 links to SHOPPING SITES and once i sort that mess out i get a notification that the german language pack has successfully been installed.
SUCK MY FUCKING D*CK MICROSOFT, the ONLY thing i want to do with that language pack is SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. i can't even uninstall that moronic piece of shit. FUCK YOU.

I still don’t understand git completely ,sometimes the error messages are so hard to understand I just make a new repository and push all my new updates there using GitHub desktop.

Our site ran into a cache stampede which took down the site for awhile. While people were helping out, I just stayed out of their way since I knew nothing about it -_-

I realise I need to git gud but I can't help feeling inadequate and useless at times like this.

Is perseverance, experience, and passion to keep learning and bettering oneself the only way to being a master?

If you could choose one, what should happen in 2020 :
1. Apple let developer build iOS apps on non Apple machines
2. NPM/Maven/... run 10x faster
3. Javascript dies and gets replaced by a better language
4. Governments stop trying to ruin encryption
5. Facebook splits
6. Quantum computers are being sold for consumer use
7. We have our first high - level generic AI working

I have been working with git for years now, and I could never work on a project (regardless if big or small) without it. Its great.
However, just a couple of days ago I learned about the git flow branching model.
Even tho I also worked with branching on a daily basis for years, I did not know about this model. And I have to admit: Its awesome.
If you don't know it, I highly recommend you to look it up. It really improves the already organized workflow with git even more. :)

I wasn't with this company pre-pandemic. The people that were with the company had no idea that they wouldn't be with the company when the pandemic hit, so everything was sort of in a half state when my team was formed and picked it up 2 years later. Not their fault, I get it.

Well...mostly not their fault. Never in the history of good ideas, did anyone ever say "Hey, we should have these 15 variables named Object{number}!" Yes, 15 of them. And they are set `Object3 = object3Variable`. I wish I could make this up, but I can't, and it makes me sad.

Getting ready to start working a little something something on the side. Client (read as uncle-in-law) wants it in Wordpress because he
1) has heard of it
2) can buy themes. I told him I can make it look any way he wants and use something else, something that I'm actually familiar with. He wants Wordpress. At least it looks like writing my own plugins to do stuff will be really easy.

does the -- button even get used? like, ever?

The first day of the Universe was a Thursday.

Ladies and gentleman 🤪 its almost weekend!!!!

++ For extra gud weekend 🤲🤪

Tomorrow, I'll start my last year of study at a web development school.

At the end of it I'll get a title that'll allow me to get recognition around the world, but the school doesn't end until 9th September 2018, so in roughly in a year.

I'm honestly shitting my pants, wish me luck 😅

A bot that warns me when I get a 🌟 on github...

I had to shut it down because of the spam 😁

You know your day is gonna be bad when it's Monday and you are told to work on a badly written legacy flash application!

So we have this team that deploys some code. We had a change in that code that "we" forgot about. Turns out, a dev on our team decided it would be cool to rename an endpoint. Why? Great question. Because. So this code gets deployed, but the call to that endpoint didn't get deployed. System 2 tries to call the endpoint, 404. We roll back, we're searching, after like an hour, we find it. We go to TFS to see who did it. The dev grabs my keyboard and starts checking diffs, somehow managing to skip their commit (from 5 months earlier). I take back my keyboard and *surprise* it was the commit that was skipped. WTF? Why did you rename that endpoint? What do you mean you didn't do it? It has your name right there!

When an intern gives me suggestions on technology stack to use for the new application I'm building...

Just spent the whole week trying to build an Ionic app for iOS. Of course, I don't have a Mac.

I should charge Apple for the enormous amount of time I lost because of their f***ing policy. Seriously guys ? We're in 2018.

Ok so some of you have probably seen my previous rants about my computer science teacher and our project but I'm just going to summarize all of them and share with you more of my pain.

1. He edits in the production environment. Its a laravel project and he is creating test database migrations IN THE PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT AND SWITCHING BACK AND FORTH FROM MASTER AND DEV.

2. He edits in vim and doesn't follow codestyle even though I printed him off a piece of paper and emailed it to him.

3. He doesn't have any ethic when it comes to more complex things like laravel homestead.

4. He doesnt want me to release features even though he takes really long to do them.

While I love vim and it is my editor of choice, some things should be done in an ide. This is really annoying me and I'm really just considering handing him the project if he can't follow basic outline.

jenkins tests passing but travis failing. now travis passing but jenkins failing, aargh!

more beer needed...

How do I get gud? Been coding in Python for a while now and I still have a little bit of a problem figuring out where to go. I can read the docs and generally construct a decent program if it's fairly simple. Go anywhere beyond what I know I end up having to google for examples. Not sure if that's how many people do it but I feel like it's cheap. I feel like I'm taking bits of code, modifying it, and slapping part of my own code to it. I'm trying to teach myself how to make my own program without any major help from Google.

I'm still new so I think it's okay for the most part but I don't want to be a half ass programmer who more or less just googles and slaps things together. I want to sit there, think of a problem, and think "Oh I can use this module to help me with this and I can create this function using xyz and that should solve it!" I'm sure part of that comes with practice, but what else can I do to get gud and not be a lousy coder?

Corona beer gud.

when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to)

My upwork account is banned for sending too many proposals without getting too many jobs.
Got 2 jobs out of 35-40 proposals sent.

in the hospital with surgery and our deployment goes wrong, so glad I work with really good people!

Spent the day with people I work with developing an Alexa skill to kick off a Jenkins job. Fun!

WTF Ubuntu! Why did you uninstall my nvidia drivers.

Fuck UPS and their API Documentation. Has anyone here ever integrated their API ?
Their API documentation doesn't mention any sandbox or testing accounts.
If I click on their create access key button, it takes me to a form which requires a real payment method and address which seems like it's meant for real stuff not testing.

Can anyone explain to me how is it possible that some devs like to work on macos?

This feels like a punishment to me. Every time.

Me and the lead developer of my team gave a long and detailed explanation to our manager entailing the current state of a budge program our workplace uses.

This app has been bugging him for a while, he did not write it and has not been given an opportunity to rewrite the damned thing. Its a really...really messy application, and whilst it is a functional one it most certainly is NOT an efficient one since adding or moving things only incites more spaghetti mess.

We were laughing while giving our report, but both of us were crying inside. The main thing is, we both love PHP and the things he has built are very well structured and efficient, he has good technique, but will admit at certain caveats regarding the way he structures his dbs stating that he always has to do changes, which hey, its the nature of the beast, dbs change all the time. But our issue with php is the same: it lets beginners write monstruosities that are harder to do in other environments.

It really is a permissive language. But I reckon thay such lax nature is better left at the hands of the more experieced developers that know what they are doing.

Either way, we will restructure this motherfucker taking advantage of the new standards (which both of us are well versed in) and applying a more structured approach with a nice frontend interface (we be looking at Vue.js and React although we are considering Angular as well)

Gon be some good times.

My response, as a gamer and developer, when yet another guy tries to explain how "mercurial is so much easier to use":

Git gud

be me, just casually watching a cs:go fragmovie. there's always 10 seconds of ads before those, so i use the time to sip some coffee. at that second, i hear the following words..

"The first ever blockchain gaming marketplace in history"

...now i need to clean my keyboard.

Any ideas on handling large file uploads using PHP efficiently?

ranters,
how do you deal with procrastination?

Today I did 'git reset --hard'

Didn't go se well. Time to install BackInTime

Not really a recruitment experience, but when I was a uni student, my IT teacher told me face to face that "C++ is not object oriented"

Not really a rant but..... Just found this while cleaning my PSP's Memory Stick collection

As a CS student this part makes me feel gud
(It's No Game No Life btw)

Blockchain
Or at least I hope so

> open algo
> read 6 posts
> 3 are from newbies
...

jase, is that you?

yay! i might even crack the thousand in some months ^^

15 years back when I was in my highschool I was taught HTML. I created a 3x3 table of images with border without using any CSS while other kids were looking around confused what to do. Opened the same in IE and felt I was a professional web developer. Simpler times!

"Whenever there is a decline in quality of code and rise of bugs and errors oh dear coder, I manifest to show the path of bug and error free coding" said code-god
- Chapter 1 Verse 1, Code Gita

the cake is a lie

Having fun looking at android developer struggling to replicate 'str_split()' function from PHP in Java :-D

Free siftware is gud

So I thought I knew source tree, apparently I do not... Lost a week's worth of work, went to history, saw someone removed it with a commit, and now I'm getting blamed for my own work 'disappearing'. The reason I am being told I am to blame is how I control my branches... So how I do it is that I keep a local copy of the master branch, I keep it updated and monitor it for changes regularly (meaning fetch and pull cause double tap..) before I do a merge, I check for any new code on master again, then using the local copy of master, which I just updated, I pull the master changes into my branch, deal with any conflicts, build and done. Then I request my changes into master once I am happy everything is good.

My question is, clearly there is something wrong with the way I do things, so please source tree users, what is the most fool proof way to pull latest from master so that I don't loose code? 😔

Back at the office. I want my bed already

Drink redbull

I'm getting tired of coding. Not really the coding part, the dealing with people who tell me what to code and why part. Sort of considering making a move into a scrum master or PM role just so I can get fired when I say "No, we're not changing everything they've been working on in the middle of the sprint" or maybe "Yeah, no we're not going to put in a bunch of tickets to change the UI/UX without first talking to the designers, because that's what they do. Yes, I realize we aren't Facebook, but do you realize we "compete" with them because a huge number of people will compare our usability to theirs? (even if just subconsciously)"

In 2020, the Earth slightly accelerated its spin.
For the first time in history, we need to add a *negative* leap second in our datetime systems.
...
Which means all the datetime libs need an update. I hope they anticipated this.

I received devRant stickers a couple of months ago, but I forgot to post a picture. Would you guys believe me or I have to prove.

i'm afraid that having discovered the power of multithreading has made my code worse.

case in point: me has to calculate an unknown 3rd point of an equilateral triangle many, many times. however, me doesn't get the formula, so me goes ahead and loops over all possible coordinates until it finds the correct one.

yep, it's definitely gotten worse.

When commenting it would be nice to see the comment you are commenting against. Often they are long with several points and you can't refer back to it

When your linter suggests you to use '===' but want to use '==' for future proofing....

Sleep on the problem. Then you get the solution as you wake up!

TGIF :-)

XCode is crap. Even worse than eclipse.

Convince me otherwise.

Best: the one I made for myself
Worst: the one I'm being forced to use (Looking at you, Xcode)

Apple's certificate and provisioning profile shite can fuck right off

Crap Gemini

this has probably been mentioned before but how about edit functionality on posts?