In my second year,
I told my teacher I can code in in C#(c-sharp).

She replied : C-sharp ? Oh you mean C-hash !

*that day I lost hope in college*

Something's not right.

"Unit tests are a waste of time, and we should avoid doing that if possible. "

Kill me please.

Our Web Technology professor taught us this in the year 2016, he said and I quote,

"HTML frames are the latest technologies in the www and are supported by new generation browsers only, for example Netscape navigator."

1. I join a company.

2. I get deeply involved in "how to run the company", and get nice compliments from both coworkers & management about my skills in conveying startup/scaleup advice & necessities to upper management.

3. With my ego inflated through all the sweet talk, I think "ah, what the hell, let's do this again", and I accept a Lead/CTO promotion. I have to join board meetings, write reports on quarterly plans and progress.

4. I get unhappy/stressed/burned-out because I really just want to be a developer, not a manager/executive.

5. Upper management understands, I give up my lead position, lock myself back into my coding cave.

6. I get annoyed because the requirements I receive become more and more disconnected from reality, half of the teams seem to have decided to stop using agile/scrum, the testing pipeline breaks all the time, I get an updated labor contract from HR by mail which smells like charred flesh, etc

7. The annoyances become too much to do ANY work. I yell at the other devs outside of the entrance of my cave. There is no answer, only a few painful moans and sighs.

8. I emerge from my cave. The city has turned into a desolate wasteland. The office is a burning ruin, the air sharp and heavy with black soot. Disemboweled corpses of developers litter the poisoned soil.

Product Managers dressed in stained ripped suits scream at each other while they try to reinforce concrete barricades with scotch tape and post-its. *THUMP* Something enormous is trying to break through. "Thank God, bittersweet, you're still alive! The stakeholders! They have mutated! We couldn't meet the promised deadlines! We've lost the whole mobile app department, and that kid there is the last of the backenders and he's only an intern! You're here to save us, right? RIGHT?".

In the corner, between the overflowing coffee machine and a withered cactus, a young boy has collapsed onto the floor. His face is covered in moldy coffee grounds, clasping on to his closed macbook for dear life, wide-open eyes staring into the void, mumbling: "didn't backup the database, and It's all gone" over and over.

A severely dented black Tesla with a dragging loose bumper breaks through the dried up vertical herb garden and the smoothiebar, and comes to a halt against the beanbags in a big cloud of styrofoam balls.

The CEO limps out, leaking blood all over the upholstery. He yells to the COO: "The datacenter is completely flooded with sewage! I saved the backup tapes though", holding a large nest of tangled black magnetic tape mixed with clumps of mud above his head.

9. I collect my outstanding salary and sell any rewarded options/shares for a low dumping price, take a 5 month holiday, and ask a recruiter about opportunities in a different city.

Girl: you don't...see sharp
Me: I'm... Not a Java developer
Girl: I never said you were
Me: but why make that joke?
Girl: what joke? You hit your head on a beam tripped over a chair and missed your drink. You clearly need glasses
Me: *gets glasses* oh your not a girl 😳

Am I alone? 😅😂😂

Dev: Hey our current server is starting to chug a bit. Can I get approved for $1200 additional spend to double the speed?

Manager: *Sharp inhale*. We need this project to cost as little as possible, we really can’t justify spending any additional money for any reason right now.

*2 days later*

Manager: YOU ARE APPROVED FOR $100,000 TO IMMEDIATELY IMPLEMENT SOMETHING RELATED TO NFTs IN ANY OF OUR APPS. THE BUSINESS NEEDS TO EXPAND INTO THE METAVERSE ASAP IMMEDIATELY. I NEED AN ETA BY EOD AS TO WHEN THIS CAN BE ROLLED OUT.

Dev: …

Java + Python = Kotlin?
😂😂😂

It's so true that it hurts...

You call it C sharp. My professor calls it C hashtag. I call it C pound sign.

Dev manager: great news guys. We’ve built a new tool to do automated testing on apps. We’ve gotten rid of the old Appium solution we were using and built this new one.

Me: why not just use the inbuilt native stuff? Click to record works really well.

Manager: nah we thought it would be more flexible to build it ourself.

Me: ... ok ... moving on ... how does it work?

Manager: well this new .jar, you download it, pass in a config file, setup up your simulator and appium and the jar will do everything for you.

Me: ... wait you said you hate Appium? Now you’ve built a wrapper around it? And it doesn’t even set everything up, you’ve to do it all by hand?

Manager: oh we had too, would be too much effort to replace it. Don’t worry we can now write all our tests in .yaml config files instead of using Appium.

Me: so we’ve lost the ability of auto-complete and type ahead, everyone has to upskill on a new tool, it offers no new features over what’s available out of the box and we’ll have to deal with new bugs and maintenance and stuff our self ... because we need more flexibility?

Manager: oh don’t worry. The guy who built it is staying here. He’s going to deal with bug fixes and add features. He’s only one guy, but he’s really sharp, it’ll be great for us and the team.

Me: ... ... ...

*audible noise of soul breaking*

Me: ... ok thank you. I’ll look into this new tool

Dells XPS are made of magic. [long story, major fuckup, 10k+ damages]

It all started in December. One morning I was late to work, drove there as fast as possible. (I live like 3 minutes away so me being late really meant *late*) Parked my car in a secluded car park, grabbed my backpack and ran to work. The car park is like 100 meters away from work so I took my feet into my hands and ran. Next thing I know my heels loose all grip while I go down a small slope and I drop on my back full force. On a sharp edged stone. With only my 1700$ XPS in it. Fuck.

I paniced, but got up and ran to work. I checked on the notebook, praying it would boot. It booted! Holy shit. I flipped the notebook and saw two small dents in the aluminum shell. I was thorougly impressed. I later discovered that it left a small shadow on the display, but given what a hit that was (I am not exactly a lightweight), impressive would be a massive understatement.

Fast forward to February, I am weighing my options to get the screen replaced maybe, as damage on my hardware (even if neglectable) triggers some sort of OCD and makes me feel bad 24/7. Also my laptop tends to shut off from time to time, looked into the Event Viewer and saw kernel panic. I figured that the battery probably still took a hit and that it drops voltage from time to time and the kernel assumes a critical situation, thus shutting off.

It stayed quite snowy in Austria up until March, so occasional snowing wasn't rare. Got out of work one day, saw it snowed a bit. Whatever. I had my moms car at the time, so I tried if it would slide a bit if I donut on the now (5pm) empty parking space. Nothing. Drove done a small hill, ABS triangle lit up red (board computer can't outbalance the snow). I drove out to the main street where everything was salted and drove along towards my house. Took a turn into my street, accelerated for a bit and then went off the gas so the car would smoothly drive along with the speed slowly degrading. So I went off the gas and noticed I was a bit to the right, no wonder, centrifugal forces.

*steers left*
"Huh seems like I need a bit more"
*car still doesnt move much*
"What the- go to the left!"
*steers left hard*
"Fuck that wall is coming closer"
*Breaks*
*car doesnt break*
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"

Everything got quiet in seconds, me waking up to an open airbag, ripped pants, a hurting wrist, the radio somewhere on the ground and fumes that smellt like burning wires. I grabbed my backpack that was now somewhere on the floor instead of on the seat and ran outside, tears in my eyes and the phone on my ear calling my mom. I walked inside as she walked outside, hearing a weeping scream that I haven't heard from her since I am alive. While walking inside I noticed my backpack was wet on the bottom, my 2 litre water jug shattered when my backpack hit the dashboard. I tried to stay calm and act rational, knowing that every second counts when It comes to water damage. I hastely searched for some rice and a bag to put my laptop into, stuffed the bag with both and went outside. The car was totaled, my mom pissed and crying. And I was in shock, sad, angry and hurting.

I kept the laptop on my heater for a few days, bagged in rice. I dared to try a boot after a while and you wont believe me, it fucking booted. Even the keyboard backlight worked, just the screen was obviously broken in the back (no color distortion or bad pixel rows though!!) and the aluminum shell had a dent on the front. I talked with Dell Support a few days later, asking if it would be ok to open the XPS up so I could drain all of the water. She said yes thats fine, as long as I dont touch anything or screw around with it.

She said I can send it in and get it checked, but the pickup and analysis will cost 150$ and I can go from there.

I sent it in and estimated that, because battery, screen and other things probably needed changing, it will be around 900$.

Got a call a few weeks later:

"Hello beggarboy, the repair team reported back to us and said that they will have to replace everything, which will be 1700$."

"Fuck... Buying a new one is cheaper.."

"Yeah I know I am sorry about that, I can offer you a voucher so you can buy a new one for 250$ off if you would prefer that"

"Sorry but I will need some time to consider"

"I understand."

The agent clearly noticed I was bummed about it.

After going back and forth what to do I got another call a few days later.

"Hello beggarboy, we talked a few days ago. I have good news"

"Hello, yes, speak up?"

"I was able to get a special offer for you after putting in a few words..."

The next thing she said seemed unreal to me.

She was able to cut 600$ (!!!), making the new offer 1100$, instead of 1700$ or a new one for 1500$. I figured the reason she probably did that was because I am always very polite with support members. Always.

My XPS is back and healty again.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Dells XPS are made of magic.

New rant = Rant.type(['non-dev', 'public transportation']).init()

So i am taking the bus now to see a friend, and this fucking whale woman comes on board with a baby caddy, except, it wasn't for a baby, but for a fucking dog the size of a brick. That already in itself makes me grumble because dogs have fucking legs and there is no fucking real need to carry them around like newborns.... Anyways this woman sits and takes up a lot of space for the 'handicapped' persons for her fucking baby dog... So far no real issue there since people with disabilities hardly get on this bus line. A fzw bus stops later an equally whale black woman gets on the bus, obviously struggling with her size and her caddy filled with groceries...

There is enough room to accomodate the baby caddy and her groceries.
That fucking white whale says to her 'there is no room there, move someplace else'... The black woman stands there in disbelief, and this is the first time i look up, giving the 'the fuck you just say bitch' look to the white whale. I mention there is enough room and the black whale sits carefully next to the dog caddy.

Now the bus takes a sharp turn, the dog caddy tips over due to the g-forces it causes...and inmediately this white whale shouts to the black whale 'fucking retard, don't tip my dog over!' this while the black woman apologises for the fall of the caddy not even being her fault...

This angered me so puch that i rantzd to this woman: 'madam, thzre is such a thing called physics, the bus made a sharp turn and your stupud useless space-wasting dog caddy tipped over bzcause of that. Don't just go accusing people for your own degenerate racist lifestyle. I suggest you hold on to it and apologise to the lady'

She then murmles incomprehensibly and gives a butthurt look, rhe black woman thanks me and tries to remain very quiet on her seat, eventually she gets off

This fucking thing makes me angry to a level i wanna toeturz that whale by peeling off her skin with garden fence metal wiri g, suck the fat out of her body and brain with an industrial vacuum cleaner and put her in the fucking oven baking in her own fat, of course without any anesthetics...

Damnit all to hell!

Also, why on earth do dogs need caddy's? They got perfectly fine legs!

I know, sadist inside

Manager: "If needed, are you willing to work overtime this month?"

Developer: "Yes. [ ... pause ... ] would you give me some over my salary for sometime?"

Manager: Yes, increment happens every 6 months.

Developer: "I am thinking beyond it".

Manager: "No, it is not possible"

Developer: "Okay"

** alarm clock vibrates **

Developer: "It is 5:00 PM now. I need to leave. See you on coming Monday at 9:00 AM sharp"

[Developer left]

Manager: "Byeeeee ... "

I fried my laptop's lithium-ion battery by overheating it too much when gaming for 1.5 years now. Was only getting 20 minutes on a charge. Bought a replacement battery to install.

My laptop is full-body aluminum, and when removing the difficult-to-remove backplate, I sliced my thumb deeply on the razor-sharp internal edge of the backplate.

Hurt like hell. Took a while to get the bleeding to stop. I had to finish what I started, so I swore I'll be careful the rest of the time.

Yet somehow, my hand eventually slipped and I ended up slicing my OTHER thumb, on the exact same component! And the gash was even deeper and hurt even more! And took 3x as long to stop bleeding! I lost so much blood... 😫

Moral of the story: Be careful when dealing with full-body aluminum laptops. They're fucking evil and dangerous. Also, don't let your laptop reach temps above 82-85 degrees Celsius.

Thankfully, no tetanus from any of this. 😓

Friend: So what's the plan for Christmas
Me: Nothing much just coding
Friend: No apart from work
Me: Yeah coding
Friend: That means, you not getting drunk or laid this Christmas
Me: No, because I can't C Sharp when coding
Friend: Fuck developers

I just realized a "hash" symbol is slanted to the right (#) and a "sharp" symbol is slanted to the left (♯) ...

I love c sharp

oh wait its not april fools anymore...

What's with all the C, "C, C++, Objective C & C sharp?"

If I make a language it'll be named C flat or C natural

Sometimes in my company, I just want to shout "Java is shit". But I am afraid my coworkers will beat me, because they all seem to love Java. 😅

Using a git GUI is like dulling a sharp knife in fear of cutting yourself.

When a recruiter calls you about a .NET developer role and asks if you wear glasses because the client wants someone who can "see sharp". 😜

A fanfic based on devRant-chan. The character was created by @caramelCase and a drawing by @ichijou.

This is freestyle. I'll think of an image of a scene and go with the flow. I won't remove my fingers from the keyboard and I won't edit or change anything. That's how I come up with my best ideas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notes:

B/N = Boss' name (I was too lazy to think of one.)

Anything in between astericks is in italics.
Ex.) *this is in italics.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an early January morning when devRant-chan was situated in her desk, typing away on her laptop. She was working on a Python script for her barbaric client when she could've been out with friends. Oddly enough, her Sunday was surged with tranquility.

Normally, Sunday is when her irksome boss barks orders at her on the phone.

"This is wrong!"

"What is this?"

"Change it!"

devRant-chan resented her boss but loved her job. After all, "you can't force yourself to like everyone," was something her elder brother would tell her.

She released a slight chuckle, the one she would only display at the thought of her brother.

Her musings were interrupted when a concerning thought crawled into her mind like an undesirable intruder.

Why hasn't her boss called to complain yet? It's not that she enjoyed his complaining, which she didn't. She simply found it odd, since he's done this every Sunday morning, since she was a junior developer.

Unless he found someone else to complain to? In that case, good riddance!

But still, it wasn't a euphoric feeling to be replaced. She was already accustomed to his Sunday morning calls that it feels almost lonely not to receive them.

She should call him... Just in case some situation—or—problem—has emerged.

She dialed his number, waiting patiently for a reply.

"Hello," said her boss.

"Ah, hello," said devRant-chan. "I called, wondering—"

"You've reached the voicemail of B/N, please leave a message after the beep."

"Damn..." mumbled devRant-chan with a sharp exhale. "I always fall for that."

Why didn't her boss answer the phone? It was odd of him, considering he's always answered her calls.

She was about to dial her coworker when she received an email, which stimulated her attention. The subject of the email read:

*Important. Please read.*

She opened the email. It was her boss. The email read:

*Hello.*

*In case you aren't aware, I had quit my job, due to the stress. I've left the manager in charge. Starting tomorrow, he will be your new boss.*

*-B/N*

Before she could rejoice in excitement, she detected a strange change of voice, emitting from the email. Did her boss really write this?

That's when she spotted something. The word "tomorrow."

Her boss didn't write this.

He would never use words such as "tomorrow," or "today." He would use time instead. If this was her boss, he would say "in 24 hours."

She checked the IP of the email. Oddly enough, it was her boss' IP.

Still, the pieces didn't fit the puzzle. Her boss didn't complain, answer her call, or use his style of speaking in the email.

Something happened to him and she knows it. Whatever it is, has something to do with the manager, and she was determined to figure it out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was just a quick random fanfic, and I'm not sure if I'll continue it. As I said, I didn't plan anything, since it's freestyle. I might or might not continue it, so I'll think it over.

When you take help from a pervert developer...

Monday morning, went to the local grocery store to get myself some croissants and 2 bottles of wine.

Cashier: "Already at it in the morning, you sure about that?"

Me: "Long story short, I've got a Wi-Fi driver from Intel to debug and rewrite, and it's a fucking piece of shit.. can't go at it without hitting or preferably exceeding the Ballmer Peak... Also I'm awake since yesterday evening already."

Why even ask? Yeah I'm a fucking alcoholic, and guess why that is.. stupid nontechnical fucks, certified enganeers like that motherfucker at Intel who wrote this pile of garbage called ipw2200, and technology that can't be arsed to work properly on its own unless I build the fucking thing myself, just to name a few reasons.

You know what, fucking piece of shit from Intel, whoever it is? How about I let you choke on my dick while fucking hanging you with a sharp metal wire that's carrying 2kVAC from a microwave transformer, just to see whether I'd nut first, or you either choke, get electrocuted, or get your fucking throat slit first. Certificates aren't an excuse for committing this fucking pile of shit and calling it a fucking product!!

Now, it's time to dive into this giant stinking fucking turd I guess.. first glass of wine to get myself prepared for the shitstorm that's a giant 20k LoC C file with barely any comments, to look what the fuck causes this fucking pile of shit to disconnect and ask for WPA credentials after a while, despite having them stored.. and not reconnect after that, because why the fuck would you?!

I just want to add my 2 Cents to the all this GDPR chaos. Because I feel lots of you are missing the point here.

When reading here about GDPR I hear all kinds of fair statements of how flawed it is and how it's mainly hurting the small companies etc etc.

I agree, at this state GDPR might actually be doing more harm than good.

However, I don't think that is what it is about. It's about going in the right direction. If you read/look over the course of history we've had several technological revolutions. Industrial, renaissance. They all start the same:

"This technology is going to change everything, it's going to solve all our problems!" It's something holy. Something that shouldn't be touched or regulated, only embraced.

But as we all know it wasn't all that pretty.

Industrial revolution was hard super underpaid, dirty work. Children had to work too. People were getting sick. Lots of alcoholism, depression.

And what made the factories start taking better care of their employees? Regulation.

Once fines start to come, companies will have to adapt.

We have to learn and understand that these systems like government, company, capitalism. They're built for reasons. They all exist for reasons. And only when it is in balance, things will flourish.

So I encourage you all to stay as critical as you are, but to give it a chance. To have a bit of faith.

It might just turn into something worthwhile!

Thanks for reading!:)

I never finished highschool, let alone college and I earn more money than most of my friends and people I grew up with. I have a job that I actually love and I'm excited to go to work every day.

I get to work with smart, open-minded and motivated people every day.

My mind is sharp and alive and I never feel like I'm running out of new and interesting things to learn and explore.

Just had the funniest call from a recruiter where this guy couldn't pronounce c# ("c sharp").
So he was like "Do you know SQL and c...err..c..huh...cough..cough..c...eerrrr".
I let him struggle for a bit and then I went "c sharp?" and he said "I think so".
Quite useless, really.

Everyday single day I have to give time for family, personal work and office. Prioritized in that order.

End result : low quality family time, pending personal projects. Office work - well that one is OK I guess cos the time is dedicated.

Solution : made a deal with wife - one day on weekend dedicated for family (she can plan anything she wants) and I will not do any work. Other day dedicated for my personal work/time (no family plans).
Divide weekdays similarly. On family days I checkout at sharp 4pm from office and come home straight spend the rest of the day with family alone. On the other days I stay either at office or go somewhere to work or hangout with dev buddies.
*Wife agrees*

End result: Quality family time. No interruption when coding (a dev would understand the importance of this). More productive work.

!rant
My work does this contest where they email everyone a puzzle where you have to guess a safety slogan. They give you maybe 1-2 letters in each word and there are about 5 or 6 words. So I found a list of every word in the English language online, I imported it into a database and I ran a few queries to return all possible words for each, depending on the length of the word, and where the letter hints are placed. I haven't missed one puzzle so far. :D

p.s. I told my girlfriend and she said, "I am dating a nerd".

Evil animals... We have to save the world.

What is it with the overworking fetish in IT?

I mean, I certainly do like my job (working in a SOC), but I also enjoy time off work. I get paid 8 to 5, so I'll stay at work from 8 to 5 and do my job to my best capacity. Certainly, if something happens at 4:50, I won't run out at 5:00 sharp, but I also won't voluntarily stay til 7 or 8.

Somehow, several of my colleagues pride themselves in working overtime pretty much daily. At least one of them doesn't even write down the overtime 'because he enjoys his job'. I also heard similar behaviour from several friends and feel like I read about it kinda frequently on here.

"why do java programmers wear glasses? ...
Because they can't see sharp"

My fucking ex-boss trying to be funny. Well you're not funny youfuckingpieceoftrash

I don't know what Google's design team has taken for drugs lately, but I want some!!

First, replacement of the blobs into this trash that they call emoji nowadays. 10-20 years ago we called it the crap stickers from MSN.
Next, Android Pie would look like iOS, but in the most grotesque way possible.
And now it's creeping into the apps.. Google Play, YouTube, Messaging, …

It all looks so.. white, and round, and childish. What happened to sharp corners, using all the screen real estate, and.. those colors?! God I can't stand how white the Google apps are starting to look. But I know the solution. I'll accuse Google of being RACIST!! Because black people would be so offended by the lack of dark themes. GOOGLE, YOU PATRIARCHIC, NON-INCLUSIVE, RACISTIC A-HOLES!!! CHANGE YOUR COLORS NOW!!!

I can see how that could actually work nowadays 🙃

See sharp

How can you defend your ugly unstructured mess of a PR, when every spit-droplet infused spray of words from your mouth is full of syntax errors?

How can you call yourself a developer without being aware of basic logic? I ain't got no tolerance for double negations, not not true is just true, you doltish twat.

WHEN YOU TALK THERE IS A CLOUD OF RED SQUIGGLY LINES IN THE AIR FLOATING AROUND YOUR HEAD.

I mean what the fuck is up with eggcetera? Why are you just swapping out letters? What has the little ligature t in & ever done to you? Do I have to fucking replace & with 🥚 so your word diarrhea makes sense again?

NO. JUST PLEASE... STOP TALKING. YOU'RE RAPING LANGUAGE, AND IT WAS ALREADY BEATEN DEAD.

Unlike me, you have a degree in computer science... but how, how the fuck did you pass? How did neither your tongue nor code get stuck in a linter?

AND YOUR RESPONSE IS STILL: "YOU DON'T NEED TO LEARN WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH SCHOOL" ... "WHAT DOES IT MATTER, IT WORKS, RIGHT?"

NO, IT'S NOT RIGHT.

You're lucky I love refactoring.

I'll start with a medical grade steel scalpel and a long sharp hook. Maybe I can clean up this brain a little. See if the tests turn green if I cut some of this gray matter away... plenty of unreachable statements, so many unnecessary loops...

Might have to start from scratch.

I arrived at 8am sharp today, SHARP, I usually arrive 2-3min earlier, so I can start with my actual work at 8am sharp, but traffic was rough and my scooter wouldn't turn on, so I wasn't able to.
Suddenly my boss calls me into his office, being all like "you are late everyday, you won't start work until 5 after 8 yadayada". Wtf?? You know I have a clock on my desk and I always check the clock when I'm arriving at work? (He has security cameras everywhere, so he can actually see me check the clock every morning). This morning I arrived at 8am sharp and the only reason why I started with work late is because he thought it's necessary to remind me to be at work in time. Now he expects me to start with work 5min early everyday, fuck off!

Casual workday be like:

Project manager: It is important we deliver these features.

Me & Coworker: Sounds reasonable, here is how long we need, roughly.

Mgr: Well, the deadline is already set and the contract is signed and written.

M&C: Ummm...

Mgr: Also, while we are hosting the application, we are not paid for operational cost, so make sure to optimise the crap out of it immediatly. Preferably while developing the features.

(A wild architect appears): Also everything has to be built on cans and kubernuts, with rectangular ui and bootstyling and with these internally developed backend frameworks NOBODY tests. Coroporate policy you know.

(A wilder division CEO appears on meeting): Also we are rolling out code KPI's across the organisation. Everyone is expected to Focus on documentation, test coverage and there is now mandatory SonarQube scanning of repos. ZERO DEFECTS PEOPLE

M&C: ...

(Wildest Salesteam appears): By the way we sold the application to these other customers, they love feature XYZ and must have it.

M&C: It does not have feature XYZ

Mgr: It will have feature XYZ

M&C: Allright so with all the extra funding from the sales, we need to hire atleast one Machine learning guy, an extra frontend specialist a developer and maybe funnel some of the funding into slacking the operational budget in the start.

Animated Suit *Railing a line of coke from his gold plated ihpone 15*: What funding? Get to work. Also your havent been super sharp with your time registration.

I learnt my college junior some coding and development, and we became best friends.

Later I asked her out, and now we are not talking after that. 😅

C#

Little Sister: Why is the hashtag in the wrong place?

Me: Kid, that's not a hashtag. That is a sharp. C - sharp.

I forged a katana once, under the supervision of a swordsmith. Nothing super special like damascus patterning or anything, but the cutting edge was pretty sharp.

Ugh sorry, lame word jokes.

In terms of software...

Microsoft Office Ribbon (cutting edge at the time, lol). Only as a maintenance drone on a bunch of manual search-and-replace work and merge conflict resolving.

Ariane 6 family of rockets (Welding X-rays and other DICOM quality assurance).

Software for continuous flow chemistry, developing microfluidic PCBs to perform Elisa immunology assays during the Mexican flu outbreak. Idea was to eliminate the need for microplates, expensive robots, microwell washers, etc — just have blood plasma, enzymecoated nanoparticles, antigen, conjugated detection reagents and substrates flowing programmatically through a PCB with a spectrophotometer built in.

We were 6 devs on a big project that needed to be completed in 3 months. Probably my first project as a full-stack dev and the work was very demanding.

The senior of my team was a very sharp and energetic, but also a very "in your face" kinda guy. Like, he was cool, but sometimes a little too much to handle for some people.

Anyway, this guy "Senior dev" worked faster (naturally) and harder than the rest of us and was always willing to help if somebody had problems with a framework, tool or other technology. Also, there was this other guy also a good dev (second best I would say) that just hated the first guy's guts for being "rude and obnoxious" as he put it.

One day, the PM and the senior had an argument about a major change that the PM had agreed to (just to save face with the client) that will force the team to come to work on the weekend. In the end he saved us the trouble of going throught that and the PM had to tell the client that the change wouldn't be made. From then on it went downhill for "Sr. dev" in the company. Until one day he was told that his contract was not gonna be renewed.

Short after, he showed some of us a screen cap. somebody sent him of an email from the "hateful" dev to the PM in which he wrote he had heard that the senior guy was leaving and he couldn't be happier because he was "damaging, problematic and a stressful part of his job". That was such a dick move, we thought he should get back at the guy.

So he sent a fake email to the PM using the "hateful" guy's email ID, that read:

"Dear PM. I'm sorry I said those things about 'Senior dev', I guess I'm just mad that he's a better professional than me and mad that I was born with no genitalia".

After the senior dev left I worked on one more project with the "hateful" dev and he was let go mid project for "not being proactive and making little effort on completing the project".

Girl: What major are you studying?
Me: Computer Science.
Girl: Cool. Can you hack my boyfriend's Facebook, I think he's cheating on me.
Me: Go to hell. 😡

Reasons 1 and 2 arent that important to me. The main reason I code is #3.

1) Brain exercise. I always feel sharp after a coding session, even if it ended in disaster.
2) Lots to do! There's never a full day in code. Make your own universe, if you so desire.
3) Pride. I have a pride problem. I never felt proud of myself no matter what I do. I graduated with a melancholy feeling, same deal when getting my license, same deal when passing a test (God, glad that's over!)... But code makes me proud. I love what I make. I want to show everyone. I want to show it to everyone before it's even finished because I just can't wait. I want everyone to use it and to love it. Because I sure do, and it's the best thing ever.

I could make a viral video, produce a triple platinum record, or build a billion dollar business and still not feel the same level of genuine satisfaction and happiness that I may get from writing good code.

It always keeps me coming back.

My non-dev friend: What is this app about?
Me: The community who called # sharp.

So everyone is complaining about working from home. Fuck it, I love it. My productivity was never higher than now.

I didn't have an office space before at home, so I created one. I spent money on it but that's good because this whole corona thing made me realize how much I don't miss:
- company politics, who said what said
- commute
- people bothering you in the middle of you doing something
- catching-up breaks with people I hardly care about asking about holiday I took last year but they "ahhh thought it was just last week! so did you eat anything nice?"
- answering forced "any plans for the weekend" questions
- participating in conversations about nothing

The worst thing is that I'm actually a very sociable person 😂 so working from home means I can go meet my friends at 1630 sharp instead of 19.

I just don't need those fake relationships at work I guess.

Im already discussing with my manager possibility to work from home most of the time and I think I'll soon start to search for something 100% remote.

I like complainers... So... Someone who works 9-6 (and is often late by half hour and leaves at 6 sharp also takes extended lunch break) complained to my manager that I'm late for work , which I am , no denying , but , I take no lunch break and I work until 7:30-8 . Why on planet earth would you even care to make a complaint about someone whose manager you don't even know ? What the fuck kind of a person even does that ?! No one in my office has any kind of direct interaction with me , no idea of the work I do yet someone found it fitting to complain . Anyway , manager didn't even listen to the guy so I'm good...just pissed at haters .

just because im a java dev doesn't mean that I can't see sharp

If you call it "C Hashtag" ONE MORE FUCKING TIME, I will murder you.

Not learning data structures and algorithms. Not learning programming languages. Actually not learning anything to answer during a job interview.

I am more of a learn-while-you-do kind of guy. I never learn anything, instead just do it. Interviewers think I am useless because I know nothing. But I can get a job done, any kind of job done. I have no learning period, I can start working from first day in a all new language, in a all new IDE, in a all new OS.

I know nothing, and I learn nothing. I am a problem solver. You got a problem, I can solve it.

Well, devRant has turned me from a bigot arse into quite the humble and decent person, and on top of that, introduced me to some new series (well more so the users than the platform, but you know what I mean).

Binge watched Silicon Valley (season one, I just started) and learnt about dick to floor ratio.

Prior to that binge watched Mr Robot. Cannot remember who suggested that, so I cannot attribute the appropriate gratitude to the appropriate person here.

Add to that that I no longer claim one language to be holy amongst others. Yeah. I was that dick before, we all have a bad side. I'm just admitting it.

I sat down and started utilising other languages, and even found quite a few that did what I wanted more efficiently. Plus I have gotten to meet some sharp people and broaden my own mind.

Fuck I hate my job, but I see a fucking brilliant future for myself thanks to coding and the open mind that I have attained. I attribute this to devRant (perhaps it was lying dormant, but you guys awoke it.).

Enough chitty chat, I'm off to sleep and then code my balls off.

Please help me to find it.🙏

why would you do this to our codebase, dear teammate?

Another smartass! Here we go!

Look, I'm an idiot and I'm absolutely aware of it. But you don't get to give an opinion without having the knowledge or skills. I may be young-ish and stupid, but that doesn't mean you're right, or that you know better than me ffs. If I'm down to earth, that doesn't mean you're above me. If you want my respect, then behave yourself. Just because you think you've "schooled me"...doesn't mean you did.

... Aaaaaand those are stuff I'll never say in real life. Gah. I can't lecture people I don't care about, but some do piss me off regardless. And what is with this sharp increase of people pissing me off these day? 🤔 🤔 🤔

ẞ, capital sharp s, in whatsapp for android..

I am feeling lonely and depressed. Don't feel like to code. I am introvert, don't have friends. Idk what to do. 😫

I could play games, but to make games, all I had to do was see sharp 😂

Why do java programmers wear glasses?

They can't see sharp.

I have a disgusting corporate wanna be manager in my company and i fucking want him to die.

He thinks he owns the company... by just the way he walks.. u could tell he believes everyone around him to be his underling.

hes not actually good in anything but he is amazing at posting about how we need more descipline in the company every now and then. most employees here are workaholics who love their jobs too much and stay more than needed and yet he likes to remind them they need to be *desciplined* enough to be here at 10 sharp. (most are 15 to 30 mins late but everyone stays hours extra voluntarily...).

i wish he'd stop thinking he is qualified to micro manage nor is he supposed to. some of the people (not even including myself) that he is calling undesciplined are literally the reason he still has a job because of the weekends and all nighters they voluntarily put in.

Rot in hell u micro managing corporate wanna be asshole...

Rot in hell

🤔

I thought I've fucking seen it all.

Had a blast from the past the other day. Testing an issue with an AngularJS app in IE11 on a project managers Surface.

Nothing works. Just a blank screen. I open the JavaScript console to hundreds, maybe thousands of errors. They all seem eerily familiar, but I can't place them. It's like something from a past life.

Then I see one that brings the issue into sharp focus.

"{{variable_name}} is a reserved word"

No it isn't, I think. That hasn't been a reserved word in JavaScript since...

Me: "Is your browser in Compatibility Mode?"

PM: "Yeah, it's for one of our legacy programs"

Me: "You need to turn that off to test this app. It thinks you're using IE6, so it's having a 2 decade old shit-fit. I haven't seen those errors since I was a teenager making crap on Geocities"

I never thought an error message could make me feel so old 😩

I've been a bit "removed" from .NET lately and I've been slowly forgetting about it. It's like I grieved a loss, and now I was moving on, for lack of a better analogy. I was just beginning to get used to my new environment of Node JS and PHP. And, recently, I was put on track to complete a full project using Node JS.

And then suddenly a new company reached out to me, interested in my skills, and asked for me to build a simple .NET web app to showcase my abilities.

I got started, and holy crap I forgot how nice it was to be coding in this environment. Everything I had forgotten about switched on for me, like riding a bike. I was done with the app in a matter of hours. It was probably the most productive I've been with a coding assignment in forever. I was beaming with pride at the fact that I could code so fluently despite some time away. Everything here just made sense to me.

After I submitted it to the company for review I sat back and thought, damn, do I have to go back to Node/Express JS? I barely have any experience with it 😂. The only reason I know anything is because I watched a 20 minute quick tutorial on how to build an API. That's it.

I really want my current company to give me projects that are in my preferred language and they aren't and that's killing me right now. I can learn, that's not a problem, but my effectiveness as an employee is completely shot by not allowing me to build in code that I know and understand. I was fuckin hired for my specific coding experience, why not take advantage of what I know?

I should say something to my manager but I know they will just tell me no because they want it to be built in Javascript as it's the preferred language of the Gods.

Joking aside, I don't think they will go for it because it is another language that they would have to manage and maintain if I ever leave.

Oh well 🤷

As a C# developer I like Java for its throws keyword 🤓

C is like an obsidian razor. Extremely sharp tool, immense power with immense responsibility. You can make art and you can make bloody mess.

Clojure is like a magic rainbow mist. You accept it and it's pure chrysalis, everything is good, everything is fine. You feel cared about, you feel like nothing can hurt you.

Bash is like feeling your stepdad's finger inside your asshole. Shame and shame again combined with extreme perception of wrongdoing that lead to nothing but psychological trauma.

A story about burnout you say? Well, here it goes.

In 2019, I worked in a now-defunct startup. Back then, I was deep in "treatment" with wrong medications that almost ended up turning me into a vegetable. When I was hired, my mind was already deteriorating quickly, and I was caught in a downward spiral of losing intelligence.

Prior to working there, there was never ever ever a situation in my career when I was given a problem to solve and failed to do it.

But right then, with already double-digit IQ and constant, pumping anxiety, I was seeing task descriptions that looked familiar and doable, yet I absolutely could not do them. I couldn't comprehend. It was an absolutely screeching, crippling panic about me losing my intelligence forever, being fired and ending up unhireable, dying alone on the streets.

Apart from my depression I recovered from, this very experience was a trauma that haunts me to this day, every day. You know, my experience being raped as an adolescent doesn't, but this, it's something else. Now, my intelligence is back, I design architecture, I'm a CTO, and my solutions are objectively cleaner and better in every way than what I did pre-depression. Yet, I still feel a sharp, sudden rush of anxiety, and my heart skips a beat, when I think about writing code or even opening the IDE.

I don't know how does one recover from this. I'm now slowly transitioning into "architecting CTO" role that is just being a devrel, assessing ethics, working with business to realize their need, designing solutions and leaving the implementation for the team to do. You know, the stuff I was taught in the uni.

Maybe doing open source and launching small pet projects will help. But at this stage of my life I have no emotional resource to care.

I'm on this fair and there are suits walking almost everywhere!

Even in the "Tech" area.

Like 'a-bit-to-confident' ducks with their heads up in the cloud exposing their throat while walking right into my sharp blade. Inexorable stumbling headless right over the edge of the next bridge, hitting the rails with their rubies. Helpless, waiting to get caught by the next hype-train.

*sigh*

I'm a terrible husband

My wife was telling me about her dad and a financial problem he's having.

Meanwhile my mind was telling me:
"Remember that posh party you were in a few weeks ago where you knew nobody? And everyone were either established businessmen or had uni degrees?
So everyone's is like making a first impression of you?"

"Well, what if in the middle of a group chat you yelled something like "COCK" out of the blue, but with a very deep english accent, like a very screeching sharp sound at the end like "COCCCKKKK"

"I don't mean like a hypothetical observation, I mean what if you actually do that to observe their reactions"

"How would people react?
What would they do?
What would their facial expressions be like?
How much time would go by until someone resumed conversation? Who would be the one to do that?"

"What if you actually recorded it and put it on youtube"

Maybe it's my fault that we don't fuck

Fast Internet connection always distracted me to streaming youtube about technology or tutorial, but normally end up with 100% unrelated videos like how to sharp your knife using mug or watching top 10 mistakes in Harry Potter 😖😖😖

If it crashes, it's linux :/

Even the OS installation crashes, they call it stable release with LTS.

My personal resume website. Damn my lazy ass, can't do anything. 😥

Why do java programmers not wear glasses?
Because they don't C sharp
BADUM TSS

im so bad,
im sorry

Always drink beer before work. Will make you sharp as fuck.

Any board artists want to make a crest for me?

Looking for comething with sharp black lines, that's tattoo worthy.

:3

Below is the Main symbol, as well as three words that I would like included.

Thanks in advance~

My classmate asks me; “So, do you know Windows Visual Sharp Sharp yet?”

I own my grandfather's Victorinox Swiss Army Knife, probably from the eighties. I absolutely love it — it's just like the standard Unix toolkit. Minimalist, multi-purpose, efficient. This is what I have in my knife:
1. Two blades. I call them master (yes) and slave
2. Corkscrew. I call it "ed".
3. Hole puncher, but not just any hole puncher. Mine has an angular sharp edge to carve holes instead of just punching them. Super efficient for wood, plastic and thick fabric. It also has a hole so it can be used as a needle. I call it "vi".
4. Bottle opener which is also a screwdriver. I call it "more".
5. Can opener. This is my favorite one.

It can help you open just about anything. Any type of cans, closed pistachio nuts, oysters, your barely legal girlfriend's virginity — anything. When I eat pistachios, I'm holding my Victorinox in my hand opening tough ones with the speed of rm -rf ripping through your files. Oh, and it's also another screwdriver. I call it "cat".

But let's take a look at modern Victorinox. Maybe it's better? No, not at all. It's totally metrosexual featuring nail files, nail clippers, nail scissors and a flash drive (not even a good one).

Newer doesn't always mean cooler.

(I have the exact same one, photo from the internet because I'm too lazy)

So it’s my girlfriend’s birthday and I was sitting with wine in my hand and C sharp.

I’m gonna be dead tomorrow.

I just had a boys-out night with my son. Went to some restaurant, found a parking spot in a confusing parking lot (half is more expensive than the other half of the lot, not sure which fee applies to the middle row... confusing), started paying for parking with the app (pays every 15 minutes until stopped).

Went inside, ordered a pizza, some ice cream. Chatting, playing, eating, having fun,... An SMS comes: "You have outstanding fines" and a link to the gov taxes' website.

wtf.. I must have parked in the wrong spot. FUCK! Oh well, it should not be a large fine anyways, it's just for parking....

Click on the link, login with my bank/SmartID creds. Another SmartID dialog pops up asking for a PIN2.
What? PIN1 is for authentication, PIN2 is for Authorization. What am I authorizing...?
Reading through the Auth message: "Paying 2473€ for Boris SomeLastname".

what.....?

Thank God my muscle memory did not kick in and I did not enter that PIN2.
And thank God I know what PIN1 and PIN2 are for.
It would've been one expensive boys-out evening... Even a strip club would've been cheaper.

Stay sharp, guys!

P.S. Later I checked the URL. It used all the right keywords, and it was registered as an .info domain. It was somewhat off, but gov websites trying to be lean do sometimes use some weird ass domains.

See sharp 8D

While I was working on a university project with my team, a teammate asked me why the window of the program in my screen was bigger than in his. I simply answered him that his screen was a FullHD one that had a 1920x1080 resolution, while mine had a lower resolution, and he was like "Noo! This isn't a fullhd screen, it's not so sharp".
So I showed him the "1920x1080" sticker right below his screen, and him again "Yeah, it could have this resolution but definitely it's not a FullHD screen".
- Ok, as you say...

The same guy two days ago was talking about creating a GUI in C.
I told him that C was the wrong language to build programs with a GUI, although there's some very old libs that allow you to do that in 16bit.
And him again: "Ok but Linux (distros) do that and the UIs are great!"
- Do you think that all the fucking Ubuntu/Mint/any distro code is written in C??

The funny thing is the arrogance with which he says all these bullshits.

P. S. We are attending the 3rd year of Computer Engineering.

Today me started to come to college by wakeuping at 10@m to attend DAA class by 1pm a strict warning to all to attend by sharp 1'o clock but at the scene my madam is absent and my effort gone wrong😢😢😢(Computer Science)

var does not mean dynamic

A day spent coding, is a day well spent. 😌

When you are so into C# that you even speak it...

Translation:
Languages
- German
- English
- C Sharp

Childhood dementia is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
You’re fourteen. You don’t have mental disorders. You used to be sharp. Yet, you’re not really there anymore. But your mother didn’t smoke during pregnancy, and you did nothing to deserve it.

Your personality, memories, everything that makes you “you” just rots away. There is no cure. You’ll never fall in love, never have your first kiss, your first boyfriend, never travel the world, never be a prom queen, never marry, never have kids.

You’re dying, and you’re too far gone to realize it.

So, our team got a new dart board. Not the magnetic one, the wooden one with sharp darts.
Now, we all are wondering where should we place it, so that it is safe for everyone.

When you see it...

Java code as C++ solution -_-

i love making memes

Just curious; what kind of music do you guys listen to while coding? I tend to listen to all kinds of instrumental music, which I find great for keeping focus.

Please do share if you're sitting on a great playlist for coding, it's always fun to listen to something new!

What's your opinion on these sharp and very defined icons? Personally, I don't like them because they are too skinny. I like big, meaty icons and buttons because they seem less frustrating to click. There's nothing worse than a UI with tiny buttons.

What the hell has happened to Hewlett Packard?
They used to make the best notebooks around. 10-15 Years ago, basically all notebooks my family bought were from HP. These devices lasted for at least 6-8 years each.
Now I have a fucking expensive OMEN series notebook failing after 2 years with the most embarrasing hardware problems: Once a shielded piece of plastic from the bottom broke off and made a short on the mainboard, next time the way too thin power line that goes from the power plug to the PCB was placed alongside a sharp metal piece that damaged the isolation and again produced a short. When the display is moved, the webcam disconnects, which is also a hint at the production quality.
From my daughter's HP notebook the Display just broke off after like 18 months of use. When we brought it to service I asked the guy whether this happens a lot, he was like "I have 6 other notebooks of that type with the same problem in repair right now". After a repair that took forever because they couldn't get the proper replacement parts, the integrated webcam has died.
Never ever going to buy anything from this shitbrand again.

Just wanted to share about what just happened today.

So I graduated with a CS degree 2 years in EU and since then worked in two companies for a year in each of them, where I was paid 18k EUR gross salary in both of my jobs.

Just today I accepted an offer in Sweden for 48K eur/year and they will help be with relocation!

I am extremely happy and starting my new position in 6 weeks. Going to exercise, try to loose some weight and get better clothes, just to look sharp! Also going to sharpen up my skills as well as have 2 weeks holiday before I start.

Morever I will maintain my current job as a contractor where they will pay me 27EUR/hour so every month I will get 50-100 hours of extra work. I just hope that I will be able to balance main job+contractor job+side projects. I know it wont be easy but I wont be in a relationship so it should be manageable!

It took away my life. Now I have no life. 😂😭

You think americans are weird with their imperialistic units [inch, ounce, yard, pound, mile, ...]?

You think canadians are weird with their mixture of imperialistic and metric units [miles, liters, ...]?

Well I think we are all weird with our am/pm nomenclature when we start counting at 12 and end with 11 [12pm, 1pm, 2pm, ..., 11pm, 12-fucking-AM]

good luck making sense of that one!
"please run this command at 12pm sharp" -- is that noon or midnight? Did the chap writing this know which is which?

Inspiring moment: when the control system I wrote for a robot stopped the thing's EDF mere inches from my nose when the bot went out of control (for other reasons) during testing. Had it not stopped I would probably be without a nose, that EDF (Electric Ducted Fan) had fairly sharp blades. Very scary, but very thrilling too.

Each time my code affects something in the real world, it feels so damn awesome. Thankfully I've not come close to losing my nose (or other body parts) after that incident, but that incident inspired me to continue work on failure-proof control systems that enforce safety.

I have a few colleagues who code best when slightly drunk. So I gave it a try a couple of times. That didn't work - I immediately felt drowsy and sleepy.

In general, I don't drink. I like it when my mind is razor-sharp and works better than a swiss watch, and even tiny amounts of alcohol spoil that clockwork for me. So drunk coding is not for me.

I remember calling C#, C-Fis, because this was the only other name for this symbol than Hashtag and C Hashtag sounded wrong. But C Fis sounded wrong too and then I decided to just don’t say it’s name and if I have too say C Hashtag or Fis or whatever, which was definitely the worst option.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Suggestions for a good speech to text program for someone who mumbles and talks too fast?

I sliced my thumb while washing a knife and typing on my computer without it is getting annoying

Converted my Soviet Гелиос lens to be a monocle today — removed all its internal lenses but one. One more thing to help me focus on taking pictures instead of wondering if they're sharp enough or not.
Moar pics inside!

No matter what I try, I cannot get sharp text on my work macbook. When I use my external display for my editor, all of the text is slightly blurry and a pain to read, especially the tiny text in the status bar, which is just a fuzzy mess.

Like, I know why mac fonts are "fuzzy" -- it uses subpixel rendering to attempt to stay true to the font's curves, whereas e.g. windows tries to snap those curves to the pixel grid. So, on macs, fonts look amazing when they're normal to large, but small font sizes are just yuck. Windows is the opposite: small fonts look crisp and clear, and normal-sized fonts look.. okay.

but why can't OSX just switch between subpixel and snapping based on font size? i'm tired of reading blurs! it makes my eyes blur!

European hares and regular bunnies have nothing in common in terms of how they behave.

Hares will scream at you and attack you if you get too close. They're very fast and very agile, they even look like mini kangaroos. Sometimes they will open their mouth and jump at you full force, essentially using their body as a spear and their incisors as a spear tip. Their teeth are VERY sharp. Unlike carnivores' canines which are pointy, hare's incisors are flat like a razor's edge. They can totally bite your finger off.

They're big, strong and fierce enough to scare away foxes.

Just imagine dying of anaphylaxis all alone in the forest with no one to help you after getting bit by a not-even-rabid not-even-predator.

When your friends ask if you can see sharp, and you instantly think of C#

I am working on my personal resume website (with a lot of css and jQuery).

Two days ago, I got a job offer, so I started preparing for the interviews, leaving the website aside.

Then, yesterday that company turned me down. So, I left the interview preps and started working on website again.

Then, today there is another job opening and I am now again preparing for interviews, keeping the website on a pause again.

Also, I have my internal exams coming up this weekend.

I don't know what should I do. Idk what I am doing. 😥😥

!devrant.

More like 'relationship' rant.

The following is gonna be kinda crude and not work appropriate just fyi.

First, whats with this trend of 'shave your pussy", and small tits? Shit just a few years ago it was the opposite! Who wants to fuck a women who looks like an undeveloped boy. Give me a good medium pair of knockers and a (slightly) hairy pussy anyday and I'm in heaven.

On that note, all these guys whining and fucking whinging about "fat" women. Like I'm not chasing deathfat women or anything, but come on dudes. If you're gonna demand 'thin beautiful women' put in the fucking work! Just saying it now. Kinda pudgy, not a deal breaker for me. She have a pretty face, looks good in make up? Fuck it, I'll give her the time of day. Don't come at me with "hurrr...fat is unhealthy! Wheres your standards?"

Wheres YOUR fucking standards? Shit, I could take a 'heavy' girl and in a few months time have her trim. Its about the WORK you put in. All these fucking guys, all these fucking guys man, they all want something for nothing and chicks for free. No one wants to put in the fucking EFFORT anymore. I can't name on one hand the number of 'fat ugly chicks' everyone ignored from school (well except for me), who are now bombshells. If I stayed connected with people maybe I'd be with one of em right now, but I just get tired of this attitude that no one invests any time in others any more. It's all about 'me me me'.

Shes fat, maybe only a few extra pounds? Fat and 'not beautiful'? Fucking DO THE WORK and make her beautiful you bitch! Be her coach, like those fucking instagram couples you see sweating it out. Make her sexy. Become sexy, together.
Get her a fucking treadmill. Get her two. And jog together. Make her *feel* sexy.

More importantly get to *know* her. Why does she get out of bed in the morning? What drive her NOT to get out of bed? When does she feel lousy? What makes her feel that way? In addition to all the other shit men should know how to do, you should learn to play doctor phil, because every girl needs one. Women bond by talking, men bond by doing things together. Relationships should involve both.

Jesus fucking christ, this is basic bitch advice, and it annoys me I keep on coming across these spergs that don't fucking get it. Women are not cars you can stick your key in and just go 'vroom'.

They require maintenance, same as anything, any 'relationship' (because really, what are relationships in 2020, with instagram and fucking tinder and antisocial distancing?). You're a *team*, and i don't mean that in an inspirational way. You're a literal team. And far too many people prioritize the well being and success and concern of 'I' over' 'us'.

In short, if she ain't coming, you shouldn't be either. And if you expect her to on-the-regular put sharp objects on her fucking nether regions, don't expect any blowjobs unless you're doing the same thing for yourself!

Ideally you should be doing it to each other.
After all, you're partners. You trust her to put sharp objects near your groin, right?
Aren't relationships supposed to be about mutual trust?

Me and my friend were having a conversation about buying a new laptop. I suggested him to go for dos based one so we could preferably install a Linux based distro, where he could save few bucks for not opting stock windows.

Then he suddenly sent me quoted statement which drew me insane, because he is a c sharp developer.

The quoted statement was
"Linux is truth, Windows is illusion"
this just drew shit out of me 😂😂😂😂. How ironic isn't it from a c sharp dev and visual studio addict 😂😂😂

Jump start into making a project from the new technology and stackoverflow how to do anything.

This started as an update to my cover story for my Linked In profile, but as I got into a groove writing it, it turned into something more, but I’m not really sure what exactly. It maybe gets a little preachy towards the end so I’m not sure if I want to use it on LI but I figure it might be appreciated here:

In my IT career of nearly 20 years, I have worked on a very wide range of projects. I have worked on everything from mobile apps (both Adroid and iOS) to eCommerce to document management to CMS. I have such a broad technical background that if I am unfamiliar with any technology, there is a very good chance I can pick it up and run with it in a very short timespan.

If you think of the value that team members add to the team as a whole in mathematical terms, you have adders and you have subtractors. I am neither. I am a multiplier. I enjoy coaching, leading and architecture, but I don’t ever want to get out of the code entirely.

For the last 9 years, I have functioned as a technical team lead on a variety of highly successful and highly productive teams. As far as team leads go, I tend to be a bit more hands on. Generally, I manage to actively develop code about 25% of the time to keep my skills sharp and have a clear understanding of my team’s codebase.

Beyond that I also like to review as much of the code coming into the codebase as practical. I do this for 3 reasons. I do this because as a team lead, I am ultimately the one responsible for the quality and stability of the codebase. This also allows me to keep a finger on the pulse of the team, so that I have a better idea of who is struggling and who is outperforming. Finally, I recognize that my way may not necessarily be the best way to do something and I am perfectly willing to admit the same. I have learned just as much if not more by reviewing the work of others than having someone else review my own.

It has been said that if you find a job you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. This describes my relationship with software development perfectly. I have known that I would be writing software in some capacity for a living since I wrote my first “hello world” program in BASIC in the third grade.

I don’t like the term programmer because it has a sense of impersonality to it. I tolerate the title Software Developer, because it’s the industry standard. Personally, I prefer Software Craftsman to any other current vernacular for those that sling code for a living.

All too often is our work compiled into binary form, both literally and figuratively. Our users take for granted the fact that an app “just works”, without thinking about the proper use of layers of abstraction and separation of concerns, Gang of Four design patterns or why an abstract class was used instead of an interface. Take a look at any mediocre app’s review distribution in the App Store. You will inevitably see an inverse bell curve. Lot’s of 4’s and 5’s and lots of (but hopefully not as many) 1’s and not much in the middle. This leads one to believe that even given the subjective nature of a 5 star scale, users still look at things in terms of either “this app works for me” or “this one doesn’t”. It’s all still 1’s and 0’s.

Even as a contributor to many open source projects myself, I’ll be the first to admit that have never sat down and cracked open the Spring Framework to truly appreciate the work that has been poured into it. Yet, when I’m in backend mode, I’m working with Spring nearly every single day.

The moniker Software Craftsman helps to convey the fact that I put my heart and soul into every line of code that I or a member of my team write. An API contract isn’t just well designed or not. Some are better designed than others. Some are better documented than others. Despite the fact that the end result of our work is literally just a bunch of 1’s and 0’s, computer science is not an exact science at all. Anyone who has ever taken 200 lines of Java code and reduced it to less than 50 lines of reactive Kotlin, anyone who has ever hit that Utopia of 100% unit test coverage in a class, or anyone who can actually read that 2-line Perl implementation of the RSA algorithm understands this simple truth. Software development is an art form. I am a Software Craftsman.

#wk171

Starting mixing PowerShell into a C# project... Shit just got real....

Not sure if am the only one that have the feeling of being cut by a sharp Microsoft's "border-radius: 0;".

Yep, they made an enumerate Boolean!

Earlier I used to help my college batch mates and juniors in coding and development stuff. Sometimes I used to do some projects with them myself to help them learn. Sometimes I used to go beyond limits to debug their errors, even spending hours with them physically or through TeamViewer.

But now I have realised that I had been no more than just stackoverflow.com to them. They just call me when they need me and don't even care about me as a friend.

So that's it. Now I have stopped helping such people. I don't care if that's rude or arrogant. I just don't want to do this. If they still are a friend, well and good otherwise they can leave. I don't care anymore.

I am not a particularly vengeful one, but today I was, and everyday onwards I'll be turning it up a notch on recurrence. WTF is Kobenz talking about? Well, let me fill you in. For the worst part of 7 months I've been having my already fucked up hearing beaten to a pulp by the neighboring apartment's renovation works, sounds that would often balloon over 120dB, continuously. Last week the actual owner finally moved into their apartment and the sounds had stopped. Of course, i had spent every minute of my blight concocting vengeful schemes to get even. But while I was so full of think hatred and maliciousness, I, of course, let it all got. As i said, not a particularly vengeful individual, that I am not. Until yesterday that is, when the whole reformation crew was back here at 8am, banging my ears with those awful noises... So today, i woke up at 4am, set up my blender and my speakers, waited until 6am sharp and turned it all on, ALL of it. If today I hear even so much as a wisp of that deranged reformation noise, tomorrow at 5am I'll do it all over again. And every day from now on, I'll rinse and repeat it an hour earlier than before, speakers cranked up a notch above their previous noise, the blender running half hour longer than its previous running time and I'll add a new source of noise every single FUCKING DAY!

Alright fellow sweaty programmers, mama Kiki is here to teach you the basics of hygiene.

TEETH
- If you have a toothpaste prescription, use it.
- Every single whitening toothpaste is a scam. Don’t use them.
- Every single over-the-counter toothpaste that decreases sensitivity does work. If your teeth are sensitive, use it.
- Otherwise, buy the cheapest name-brand toothpaste.
- Use dental floss. As long as it’s flat and waxed, the cheapest one will do.
- When flossing, never move the floss back and forth as if you try to saw through your gums. Just put the floss in, then out. Repeat if necessary.
- Don’t put your toothpaste on your toothbrush. Put a small amount of it directly in your mouth with a bit of water. Close your mouth and spread toothpaste all over your teeth using a rinsing motion, as if it was mouthwash. Now your teeth are completely covered.
- When brushing teeth, don’t use -90°/0°/90° angles. Use -35°/35°. This way you will spend less time while getting better cleansing. Bristle ends should touch where your teeth meet your gums.
- Get yourself a tongue scrubber. Scrub your tongue until what comes off of it is clean. Dirty tongue is why your breath smells bad, not dirty teeth.
- After you’re done, don’t rinse! Spit the toothpaste out, but let its residue stay there. The remineralization process is now started. If you follow the routine, you don’t need mouthwash at all.
- Drinking/eating sugary things, not washing your teeth and going straight to bed is the best way to get cavities ASAP. In your mouth, sugar quickly turns into the kind of acid that we use for soldering. It can strip the oxide layer off of copper. Do you know how after you drink Coke, your teeth become almost squeaky clean? That’s this. If you like sugary drinks, carefully drink them using a straw. Rinse immediately after you’re done drinking & eating.

SHAVING
- Get yourself an old-school safety T-razor, the one that takes suicide blades. It will last a lifetime. Mühle and Merkur are good manufacturers (not affiliated). Once you have it, for the rest of your life, you will only buy blades. This is the most environmentally friendly way to get a clean, close shave. Electric razors save water, but they often contain batteries.
- Because of how violently electric razor’s blades hit hair while cutting it, they chip your hair. This leads to your freshly grown hair being sharp, rough and unpleasant to the touch. The manual razor, on the other hand, produce clean edges. When your hair grows back, it will be softer than what you get with an electric razor.
- Feather brand blades (not affiliated) are the sharpest in the world. The sharper the blade, the less traumatic it is. Watch T-razor tutorials on YouTube. There are different shaving techniques that will get you a killer shave.
- T-razor blades last considerably longer than their modern soyboy single-use counterparts.
- Because of a single blade construction, T-razor almost never leaves irritation.
- Basically, modern single-use plastic blades are horrible for the environment, and they’re almost a scam for how much you get for your money. They’re only rivaled by printer ink. Use them only for intimate shaving, as they’re considerably handier down there.
- Always shave after hot shower.
- Before shaving, dry the skin surface. Apply shaving foam on dry skin only, as it contains chemicals that make your hair softer. When diluted, they’re not as effective, and shaving unsoftened hair is almost always unpleasant and dangerous.
- After applying the foam, wait about a minute for the foam to work. If the skin gets irritated, don’t wait for as long, or perhaps try a different foam brand.
- Before shaving, thoroughly clean your razor with hand sanitizer or ethanol. Ideally, it should be sterile. Using boiling hot water is also a good option, just be careful with it.
- After shaving, rinse off foam, immediately dry your skin with a clean towel, then apply aftershave. After applying it, don’t touch your skin until it completely dries. If you follow this routine, your skin won’t get any pimples, guaranteed.
- Scrubs won’t help you. Don’t use them.

More in the comments!

Why dot net developers don't wear glasses? Because they see sharp.

If languages had slogans...

1) Java -- Buy one get two for free on your delicious NPEs.

2) C -- I burn way too much calories talking, let's do some sign language. Now see over there... 👉

3) Python -- Missing semi-colon? Old method. Just add an extra space and watch the world burn.

4) C++ -- My ancestors made a lot of mistakes, let's fix it with more mistakes.

5) Go -- Meh. I can't believe Google can be this lazy with names.

6) Dart -- I'm the new famous.

7) PHP -- To hide your secrets. Call us on 0700 error_reporting(0)

8) JavaScript -- Asynchronous my ass!

9) Lua -- Beginners love us because arrays start at 1

10) Kotlin -- You heard right. Java is stupid!

11) Swift -- Ahhh... I'm tasty, I'm gonna die, someone please give me some memory.

12) COBOL -- I give jobs to the unemployed.

13) Rust -- I'm good at garbage collection, hence my name.

14) C# -- I am cross-platform because I see sharp.

15) VB -- 🙄

16) F# -- 😴

>stick holding important data goes bad ("Insert DVD" IT'S A FUCKING FLASH DRIVE)
>no backups as it's a flash drive so my PC never did an auto-backup despite being configured to do so
>might be recoverable
>"short pins 2 and 3 while running tool to reconfigure NAND and controller then recover data from quick format with TestDisk"
*looks at drive*

Well.
Fuck.

it's not even sharp enough to slit my wrists with

You know why there is no sharp, non-blurry weirdass image of these Windows Update screens? Cus they actually don't take very long and in your shaking senseless windows hate you gotta pull up the camera asap to get a picture of it, after you missed it last time.

"Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others." - Brandon Mull

I just wanted to develop a cool webapp-controlled lighting for my bar.

Next things I know, there is electronics scattered everywhere, 2 multimeters to find what the fck is wrong with a PSU not outputting 1/100 of the current it's supposed to, said PSU opened on my desk, and I'm trying to find a capacitor online because there isn't any fcking electronics store selling spare parts anymore in my city.

Context:
- PSU means Power Supply Unit, in this case a computer one.
- PSU was given by a friend and is out of warranty
- the total consumption for all LEDs is 24A @ 5V consumption. A refurbished PSU is ideal for that
- that PSU is rated 2A @ 5V on the stand-by, which is perfect to power a Raspberry Pi. The issue is that there is a sharp voltage drop as soon as you try to use more than 20mA.

Having a fantastically shitty day and it’s currently only 08:05.
Last night spent the entire evening moving into my flat and building the colossal amount of Ikea furniture, ended up going sleep around 3am.

Because of my fabulous two and a half hour work commute to work everyday I have to leave my house at 6am. Three hours sleep? Excellent start.
Leave my house at 6am good start, manage to get on my first bus no problem, bus driver being the horrendous cunt he is slams on his brakes because going round a sharp corner at 40 mph when the speed limit is 20mph is a fucking brilliant idea you cunt, consequently it sends my protein shake all over me, my clothes and my laptop. Cheers cunt.

So now it’s half 7 and I’m at the train station & I realise I’ve left my wallet at home. You’ve. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Me.
8 o clock roles over train inductor comes round asking for tickets and the power hungry scrotum drops a £60 fine on me. Cheers. You. Cunt.

So now I’m wondering whether I should just save myself the hassle get off the train at the next stop and jump in front of an incoming train.
Today can suck a fat meaty fiery cock from hell.

Former android fan, I’ve been using iPhone SE for a while, and now I’m ready to give feedback. We are talking about brand new, iOS 11.2.2 device, never jailbraked (jailbroken?) or made anything fucked up to.

The main problem is battery life. It’s poor. I mean, my cheap ass Meizu m3s stands for about three times longer. Now I always need to carry power bank or charger around, keeping it up from one outlet to another.

iOS 11 is unstable and flawed. Music widget on lock screen freezes randomly, ui falls apart sometimes, apps sometimes start in landscape mode. I never found android ui falling apart, just like webpage marked up by interns.

Transferring files to Linux PC is huge pain in the ass. Nuff said.

Aaaand... that’s all. There is literally only three problems present.

On the other hand, there is huge advantages over android:

Speed. It’s unbeatable. It’s absolutely stunning. Need camera? Here it is, quarter second away. Android camera needed straight 15 seconds to start up. Taking picture? Here it is, flawless as always. Zero motion blur, gamma is ideal, focus is so sharp so you may hurt your eyes. Need 100 pictures? Here you go, just press the button and hold it. Maybe s9 or another shiny ass android takes pictures as fast as iPhone, but I bet my iPhone will be taking pictures same flawlessly after 5 years, while your android will probably become sluggish ass piece of crap.

Not. A. Single. Fucking. Lag.

Asphalt 8? 60 FPS all the way down. 2GIS? Fraction of a second away. That’s it, that’s how it have to be.

Sound quality. Just as neat as my Sansa Clip. EarPods are crap, so I’m using my SE215. Not going to ever come back to Sansa. Xperia TX had much less quality audio btw.

Apps. As long as the whole enterprise world sucking Apple’s dick, apps are running silky smooth and the things are not going to change. Come on. Apple is the king nowadays, admit it or not.

Keyboard is amazing. Screen is amazing. It’s just that pleasing. The sounds iPhone makes are great, while android sounds piss me off and making me hold myself from throwing the phone straight to the wall.

iPhone makes me feel cared about. Everything is on it’s place, everything fits perfectly. You are watching YouTube, you need to adjust volume and volume bar appears as tiny strip on the very top, just to not distract you. Make screenshot, draw something on it, share and hit delete. Every action you need is one tap away. Look up word? One tap away. Position the cursor between words? Polished as fuck, here you go, have your handy magnifying glass. Adblock in safari? Install it from the App Store and it will be literally two taps away, right at the settings. No VPN needed. Safari doesn’t become slow with Adblock, it’s just the same amazingly fast browser, but without ads. And Apple Music is just one dollar a month for students, filled with high quality songs.

Even google apps working better on iOS.

The advantages are clear for me, while downsides aren’t significant. @irene, you wanted to know what I’ll tell after a while, so I’m saying it proudly:

I’m never ever coming back to android.

So there is this guy with a startup, who wants me to work with him like a co-founder, putting innovations in to the startup. But I want to work like an intern, I will code, you will pay me money, if something breaks, I'm out.

Idk for how long, we can continue like this. Sometimes I feel I should leave, but then I think about the extra pocket money (I am a student). But he calls me like 10 times a day, talking for 15-30 minutes on phone, repeating the same things again and again, which really pisses me off as an introvert.

Should I leave the extra pocket money for some peace of mind?

"It’s about whittling. It’s about taking something and whittling and whittling and getting it sharp and perfect. Then you’ve got something." - James Victore

Thinking really hard about starting my own retro pc collection starting with the NEC pc-98 ......hmmmmmm wondee how my wife would feel about me spending money in this shit

Recently I have taken to all things retro tech, always liked it really, specially since my mom showed me pics of me playing with an old commodore 64 when i was younger as well as another of a family friend showing me the sharp 68k this shit fuels my appetite for knowing more about the programming ways of the old school coders. Some pretty interesting stuff, I feel that the newer generations would benefit greatly by knowing the things we had to do in order to build efficient programs back in the day. Not to say that I was part of that at all. I was born in 1991, how I came to see these systems is unknown and forgotten by me, but something that none the less os part of my story in computing.

Because of the industry that surrounds me I have been dealing with working with web development, but shit is really not that much of a passion of mine, had I the skills more than the academic knowledge I would love to work with low level C code all day, I just feel that the things that developers do there are so much more interesting than handilg web development, web development is tedious and a current shitstorm, not to say that shit was not like that for the programmers that i am referencing, but i just want more.

Web development has made me a successful man, at 28 i am the head of my department, I might sound like a Disney princess but I want more, I want more knowledge and more experience in different areas of Computer Science. I want to know it all and it seems like time continuously goes against me.

Oh well, here is to a new year lads, see what i can do.

Is it just me or are there more people who get immense satisfaction and happiness resetting their PC and their phone?

Like I was kinda depressed for some 2 days, and today I re-installed Windows in my friend's laptop and now I am feeling up again. Now I am resetting my PC and my phone 😋.

Feeling super motivated and hoping for a better start. 😁

Did any body ever applied to a job at SO jobs? The conditions looks really good but it looks like they are only for senior dev or sharp profile on some extinct technologie.. did it ever work for any of you guys?

Wanna make a good outdoor shot but only have a bad camera on hand? No problem!
1. Place the sun into your frame
2. Click it to adjust exposure
3. Shoot
Yes, this limits what you can shoot, as it’s not always possible to keep the sun in the frame. But, in exchange, the sheer amount of light will make your pic _very_ sharp, as if it was engraved, colors will be restrained and balanced on pretty much every camera, noise level will be zero, and a REAL lens flare will serve as a nice finishing touch.

I am honestly flattered by the fact that @scor really, unironically thinks that “by the frequency and varsity and depth you post and comment and self imaging”, I can't be a single person, and there is a whole TEAM behind me!

Honestly, I don't care about insults. Neither yours, nor of that schmuck that is salty because he posted some stupid misogynic shit a while ago, I reposted it as a screenshot, and he was obliterated by the community.

I'm only posting this because people out there legitimately think I'm a hive mind. It's not every day that you're told whatever you do cannot be done by one person. To me, this is more of a compliment.

Looking past devRant, I would like to meet @scor and other haters IRL. I have no hard feelings. I'm just an autistic person with bipolar disorder. I post whatever I want, as it's somewhat therapeutic.

You don't have to acknowledge it, but here's an honest, personal message: if you at any point compare yourself to me and lose, remember, my personality and creativity is a negligent, slight payoff for a literal hell that is a mental disorder. My thoughts are thinking themselves. I can't control them. My body is twitching constantly. I'm both actively anxious and always tired. My intellect suffers a massive penalty in a depressive phase, like now.

Finding at least some positive side to that hellscape is absolutely vital, and any person with a disorder can tell you that.

The fact that I'm social, I have friends and a job is a miracle. I'm privileged. I've seen a lot of people less lucky than me. They weren't able to monetize their troubled, sharp brain. I was.

So this morning a guy asked me what my work was, I told him I'm a mobile developer, and what the work consists of

Then he came out with a:
"oh I heard that you developers write code, but which code? Something like Morse code or Braille?"

And i was like: "wtf, did he seriously said that?!"

So I jumped right in and replied
"No, actually I see pretty sharp"

... but I think he didn't get it ..uhh so sad :c

So I was installing ubuntu alongside windows in dual boot.

The installer had some problems while partitioning the disk, so I did it manually using GParted. Then the installer had some problems while installing GRUB.

Now I got to know that my windows partition has been corrupted and ubuntu isn't installing.

My fully functional laptop is now reduced to metal crap with no OS being able to boot. Fuck Ubunu. Fuck Linux. -_-

Java developers wear glasses because they can't C sharp.

I was cleaning a closet and found this. It's the bag that had a couple extra pieces for my riding lawn mower.
Questions:
1. Who isn't aware that you can seriously injure or kill any animal (including humans, especially small ones) via running them over with multiple, sharp, quickly rotating blades?

2. Who the hell is allowing morons that don't realise this around minors?

3. For people who aren't already aware of the seemingly obvious dangers, are they even willing and/or able to read this?

I know we live in a world where people sue manufacturers and retailers for plastic bags that they leave by babies and coffee being too hot, but seriously... wtf

Does anyone know how i can get rid of the rounded window corners?

using elementaryOS with no theme, though i plan to either add Flatabulous or Arc as a theme.

I want sharp corners, not this baby-proofed round mess i currently have going on 😂

we were in space. we failed our mission in this rust bucket of a ship. we were the last of humanity. surprised the thing was holding the oxygen in from space at all. we didn't even have power for lights inside the rust bucket

and there was this thing... we did something to it but it failed, we needed it for some mission but our plan went wrong... and we had 2-3 hours of oxygen left. it was impaled on a rusty sharp section of a half broken wall. right down the middle. of its mangled human body if you could call it that. it had melting skin, dripping blood and melting cartilage. in this rust bucket, of high heat and humidity, and you could smell its melting flesh like you bit your own lip and singed it somehow at the same time. like burnt meat, cartilage on the BBQ but with fresh irony blood, the taste of the flesh of your lip. and it noticed me and started tearing itself along the rusty wall segment that was serrated... moving fast and terrifying. it was hungry. it was angry. it had nothing else on its mind, and no possibility of anything else. livid

can't even enjoy suffocating to death for 2-3 hours in peace

one thing to have dreams of dying but come on. can't even die in peace now!

!dev
There are no right answers in parenting, but there are sure as hell wrong ones and if the fucking backfire effect is too much to keep you from realizing that half of your stupid fucking decisions are delusional at best then you should probably start rethinking some things. I fucking hate dealing with other people fucking up and being stupid and I know I'm going to have to keep dealing with it in one form or another but god why I'm so done with this I just fucking don't want to deal with anyone anymore I don't want to deal with myself anymore

I dunno I don't have anyone to rant to so I can't like be specific here because it's public af but you know typing this makes me feel a little better but I still just don't want to deal with this shit anymore I don't even know what I do want to do there's like nothing the positive feedback is going away and I don't know what to fucking do with myself and I don't know how to change anything I can't fucking fix anything I mean I can fix my shitty code but I'm never getting anywhere with that and whenever I want to fix anything that's actually important I just fuck up regardless of how hard I try I just don't want to fucking try anymore I don't know if I'll actually hit post but I have to put this somewhere so probably but ugh I don't even fucking ugh literally all of my problems are so fucking dumb and small and elementary but I CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING I keep ranting about these fucked up people I have to deal with and yeah they fucking suck and sometimes I wish they didn't exist but I know I'm just as if not more of an idiot and everyone would probably be better off if I didn't exist but wait no that would have happened but you guys don't get to know about that because it's specific and putting that here would fuck shit up but someone else could so that so much better and I don't know everyone who interacts with me is just hurting themselves like fuck why do some friends like blades better than me maybe because I'm even less caring and even more damaging than a stupid fucking inanimate sharp piece of metal god fucking ugh okay I can't focus on anything why is this even okay side rant why are atheists so fucking hated like yes maybe some can't understand their motives for like doing things but nobody can really understand each other's like religious people all use god or gods in their own way why do you have to think of people who have zero gods as opposed to your nonzero as less human than you there's so much wrong with that okay that side rant is over but this whole thing is a side rant so cool fuck my life lol uuh I don't know I don't want to stop typing I don't know why though I guess I just actually I have no fucking idea I'm just here doing this I should be like fucking asleep I'm passing the fuck out after this ugh okay okay okay okay okay okay okay umm I really want to quote a certain person that I really hate right now and dissect them and prove every single fucking stupid argument they make wrong but I feel like that would not be good since this is so public but I swear I hate this and you know what if you're thinking that yes I AM A FUCKING WHINY BITCH DEAL WITH IT I'M WHINING YOU DENSE FUCKER YOU DON'T HAVE TO POINT IT OUT AND FEEL SMUG IT'S BETTER TO VENT HERE THAN A LOT OF OTHER WAYS SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OKAY ACTUALLY FUCK IT CALL ME OUT ON IT I NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE THIS OUT ON GOD AAAAAAH okay uuh yeah that's fun I'm a fuck up okay okay so you ask "how can you be a fuck up you're so young her der" okay being young generally is a disadvantage because you haven't had opportunity but boy have I and I sure fucked every single one of those up so yeah fun stuff you know woo haha mmkay I wish I had friends online this late because then I could like rant to a person and shit I mean this community is people but not people I know and it's not really back and forth as much and ugh okay right uuh yeah good um ugh I used to be able to get this shit out by doing something I'm good at but now I'm shit at everything and I can't motivate myself and it's all just bottled up and there's so much shit and nothing works and fuck there's probably a simple solution to everything I'm facing but I'm such a dense piece of shit that I can't find any of those stupid fucking ugh okay now I'm looking at my stupid hands typing ugh I hate the things right back up here uuh uuh I have 500 charas left lets fucking go I don't want to stop I mean I do want to stop but like by that I mean I just want to not exist I do want to keep typing here because it's the only thing distracting me but yeah uuh right um some people were like wtf happened with your stalking thing and this isn't where I should put it but fuck it whatever some weird guy just logged on for 10 mins to take a screenshot of the time being 2:22:22 and logged off and boom the school year ended uuh yeah kay right fuck I have to end it now
Aaaah okay uuh right bye I'm really sorry if you actually read that whole thing

Fun question:
Why do Java programmers wear glasses?
Because they cant see sharp 😂😂😂

me: solve emoji ( _ * _ )
c++: I've name-o-phobia
java: I can't byte it
c#: It doesn't look sharp
rust: I' new here
......everyone is fighting....
.
.
python: declare _ not war 😎😎

just had some kid tell me that angular and c sharp was the wave of the future - went on to say he had been coding for 5 years ... ahhhhh wtf is wrong with people ahhhhh

Since regexes have been mentioned, I'll take this opportunity to make this one thing abundantly clear...

The chief weakness of C++ is not safety concerns but the ultradiarrheic verbosity proudly inherited by it's claimants and successors. See here, straight from reference pages, a basic example of substitution:
{
std::regex_replace(std::ostreambuf_iterator<char>(std::cout), text.begin(), text.end(), vowel_re, "*");
};

Not so bad, right? By which I mean, there's worse still. Now hold my sigils:
{
$text=~ s[$vowel_re][*]g;
say $text;
};

It may be true that people don't respect your intelligence, due in great part to the well-known argumentative proclivities typical of closeted visual basic enthusiasts that are deeply rooted within your innermost self, however no matter how oft-denigrated and disparaged for their shortcomings an individual is, they are still nonetheless physically capable of seeing that the line in question doesn't even exceed 32 characters. Else this wouldn't be a discussion of syntax, or semantics, but rather your ability to count, which would be a much more dire situation.

And now that I have degenerated any semblance of reason existing within this discussion in favor of shame and humiliation towards my enemies in a bid to assert dominance, I've honestly forgotten what my point even was, and no doubt, this will be used against me; truly, the most lethal of double-edged gambits.

In any case, may a razor-sharp serrated diamond obelisk violently penetrate your rear orifice with such excessive force and excruciating pain so as to render your nervous system henceforth inoperable from cheeks to the core, most cavernous depths of your asshole.

Forever yours,
I nevertheless like C++

Since I quit binge-eating sugary stuff, my body became capable of feeling true hunger. Not in my stomach, as that kind of feeling in my body is probably fucked up forever, but in my head.

When I feel hungry, it’s probably too late. This is exactly what I feel:
- dizziness
- FOV slightly decreases
- tunnel vision, things in peripheral vision become blurry and obscure. I “see” them, but my brain doesn’t process them quite as good
- colors become less saturated
- it’s very difficult to combine and analyse multiple concepts to derive a conclusion, basically the thing I do at work that wins me bread
- thought process becomes “single-threaded”. I can follow just one thought at a time and cannot go deeper than 3-4 levels, my brain just drops it by making the whole thought feel like some kind of slimy clay that cannot be comprehended, let alone expressed with words
- difficult to express thoughts with language, I have hard time talking, especially explaining
- want to sleep, but can’t, as brain is frantically trying to stay awake

It’s probably the mechanism developed evolutionary. That single thread remains active at all costs to allow me to find food, and brain doesn’t let me sleep, as it thinks if I fall asleep I’ll die. It’s amusing to see my brain actively killing thoughts that are not “important”, I feel like a real-time OS or an Erlang application. Perhaps thinking is really a very costly process in terms of how much energy it takes.

When I finally eat something, especially if it’s a proper meal, I feel a very pleasant sensation, probably it’s my brain telling me “thank you”, releasing dopamine to actively reinforce that “finding food is a very very good thing and it’s very important”. FOV pops back into place, peripheral vision becomes clean and sharp, thoughts awaken, eager to occupy all the treads that became available.

"Object reference not set to a reference of an object" is the single least helpful exception ever.

Also, I still hate Visual Studio. Sorry.

Hello fellow ranters ,
A few weeks ago we started working from home because of the Coronavirus, I have personally found it very hard to perform at work and have lost all motivation to do anything other than the bare minimum required by the company , around a week ago we were officially furloughed , my question to you guys is : what are some things I can do to exercise my brain and make sure my skills stay sharp, I am a JavaScript , node.js dev , I’m talking coding challenges and other things , also can anyone else relate ?

Fellow devsmen who are parents, how do you manage to keep yourself sharp in your craft while managing your family life?

I offered my college junior a referral in my company, and she said she doesn't want to be favored and wants to get a job all by herself.

So I am thinking if applying for a job through referral is really unethical or against someone's self-respect? 🤔🤔

What happens when you see a person offerring referral opportunities on linkedin or other social media and apply there?? In that case, it doesn't seem so wrong. Maybe it was a little too personal offer that made her think about her self-respect? 🤔

I hate finding working solutions written in some other languages I really hate.

When people pronounce C# as C-Hash or even better, C-Hashtag instead of C-Sharp.

When that guy hovers his sharp ballpen over your retina screen while explaining his nonsensical and boring requirements and your eyes follow the pen anxiously and you just want to shout "Take that F*cking ballpen away from my screen you m*ron!" and slap his hand. Or his face. But you just can't do that, partly because he's your line manager.

Q: Why do Java programmers wear glasses!?
A: Because they can't see sharp

I think I'm becoming an expert in alt aramaic.

Maybe hebrew. Or galic.

All languages would make more sense to me - although I don't know them - than TFS errors, C Sharp compiler errors or anything else coming from this vomitting, miserere suffering pile of garbage....

Hate. Is too nice....

Seriously, who invented this and thought it would make sense?

Do you guys know of any online course that teaches data structures, algorithms and other competitive stuff, but which is like, semi-online :
- the course would run for ,say 3 months
- the instructor would add videos/livestream on a specific day/days and give the assignment questions/tests
- assignment questions/tests are expected to be completed before the next video, where these questions , along with new concepts are discussed?

I hate those udacity/udemy courses where you have a large playlist of videos open up as you pay. It makes me loose half of my motivation since i know i can watch them later and end up watching them never. Plus there is no competition to motivate

I want this as my job does not allows me to stay sharp in competitive programming and it would be nice to remain in touch with that( without being too much stressed about it).

Day 10 of starving myself to death challenge! Health app warns me of sharp weight decline trend. I don’t remember the last time I had #2. I feel fantastic

Am I the only one here who pronounces C# as "C hash", and not "C sharp"?

How do you usually handle an argument? Do you prefer not to get involved completely or do you choose to go "back and forth" until you and the other person comes to an (understanding/standstill)??? For me personally, conflict is like stepping on a nail. You can't smoothen a sharp tip, otherwise you're gonna get scratched. All you can do is try to move around it. I say what I have to say and then I'm done!!! If my opponent tries to keep going, I cut them off. Either one: block their number/media account... Two: hang up the phone while they're talking! Or three: get up and walk away ....

Who would win?
JavaScript or one sharp boi(c#)

Do you know why Java developer need glasses?

'cause they can't see sharp 😵😵

I had lot of interviews this week and the possibility in which I didnt think I could succeed is the one with most % of success (maybe because I know by sight certain people -which are good developers- and so I thought for a long time "You must be really sharp to enter here"). The thing is that I feel anxious... Never seen spring cloud (eureka or netflix zuul) for example... Anyway, didnt get the offer yet...

I feel like there are sharp nails in my body. They’re always there, in the heart area. This feeling never goes away.

Is it just me or do we all dread error 500?

Here goes my first one!

Why do java programmers need to wear glasses?

- Because they can't C#!!

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fuck anyone with the last name zimmerman with something hot and sharp

HERO GRAPHICS: Your Trusted Partner for Wide Format Printing in Burbank

Located in the vibrant city of Burbank, HERO GRAPHICS specializes in delivering top-tier wide format printing solutions tailored to meet the diverse needs of businesses, artists, and event organizers. With cutting-edge technology and a commitment to quality, we bring your big ideas to life with vivid, high-impact prints that stand out.

Expert Wide Format Printing in Burbank
Wide format printing is essential for creating large-scale visuals that grab attention — from banners and posters to signage and vehicle wraps. At HERO GRAPHICS, we combine advanced printing equipment with premium materials to produce sharp, durable, and vibrant prints. Whether you need promotional materials for your business or eye-catching displays for an event, our team in Burbank ensures your project is handled with care and precision.

Why Choose HERO GRAPHICS for Your Printing Needs?
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Top-Quality DTG Printing Near You at Bolt Print Shop in Jersey City

If you're looking for DTG printing near me, Bolt Print Shop in Jersey City, NJ, is your go-to destination for high-quality Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing. Whether you’re an entrepreneur wanting to print your designs on apparel, an artist looking for vibrant prints, or someone who needs custom t-shirts for a special event, we offer cutting-edge DTG printing services that deliver outstanding results.

Why Choose Bolt Print Shop for DTG Printing?
At Bolt Print Shop, we specialize in DTG printing, a modern method that allows us to print high-resolution, full-color designs directly onto fabric. Here’s why our DTG printing services are the best choice for customers searching for “DTG printing near me” in Jersey City:

1. Exceptional Print Quality
DTG printing offers a level of detail and color vibrancy that traditional methods can’t match. Whether you're looking to print a complex image or a simple logo, our DTG technology ensures that your design will look crisp, vibrant, and professional on every piece of clothing. From intricate artwork to high-quality photographic images, DTG printing is perfect for bringing your vision to life.

2. Perfect for Small and Large Runs
One of the main benefits of DTG printing is that it is ideal for both small and large runs. Whether you need just a few shirts or a bulk order, our DTG services allow us to print on-demand without the need for large setup costs or minimum order quantities. It’s perfect for anyone looking for a cost-effective, fast solution for custom apparel.

3. Quick Turnaround Times
At Bolt Print Shop, we know that time is of the essence, which is why we offer fast turnaround times on all of our DTG printing orders. Whether you're getting a few t-shirts for an event or a bulk order for your business, we work efficiently to make sure your items are ready when you need them.

4. Local, Personalized Service
As a locally owned business based in Jersey City, NJ, we take pride in offering personalized, high-quality customer service. When you choose Bolt Print Shop, you are working with a team of experts who care about your project. We’re here to ensure that every order meets your exact specifications and exceeds your expectations.

5. Eco-Friendly and Sustainable
We care about the environment and strive to use eco-friendly inks and sustainable practices whenever possible. Our DTG printing uses water-based inks, which are a more environmentally friendly option compared to traditional printing methods. So not only do you get high-quality prints, but you can feel good about choosing a sustainable printing solution.

Our DTG Printing Services
We offer a variety of services to meet your specific DTG printing needs:

Custom Apparel: Whether it’s t-shirts, hoodies, sweatshirts, or more, we can print your unique designs on any type of garment.

One-Off Designs: DTG printing is perfect for one-of-a-kind items, whether it’s for a personalized gift, a special event, or a limited-edition product.

Bulk Orders: Need a large quantity of custom-printed apparel? Our DTG printing services can handle orders of all sizes without compromising on quality.

High-Resolution Artwork: Have complex designs or detailed images? DTG printing can handle high-resolution artwork, producing clean, sharp prints that look amazing.

Why Choose DTG Printing?
DTG printing offers several advantages, including:

Vibrant, full-color prints: Perfect for designs with multiple colors or gradients.

No setup fees: Ideal for smaller runs or one-off prints without the need for additional setup costs.

Soft Feel: Since the ink is directly applied to the fabric, the finished product feels soft and comfortable, with no heavy vinyl or plastic overlays.

Get Started with Your DTG Printing Project Today!
If you’re looking for DTG printing near me in Jersey City, Bolt Print Shop is here to help. We provide professional, high-quality, and affordable DTG printing services to meet all your custom printing needs. Whether you’re designing apparel for your business, creating custom gifts, or outfitting a team, we can help you bring your ideas to life.

Visit us at 7 Sherman Ave, Jersey City, NJ 07307, or give us a call at +1 (201) 402-0755 to get started with your DTG printing project today. Let Bolt Print Shop be your trusted partner for high-quality prints!

VynyLyst: Your Go-To Source for Vinyl Wraps and Vinyl Signage in Phoenix, AZ

At VynyLyst, we specialize in providing high-quality vinyl wraps and vinyl signage in Phoenix, AZ, that help businesses and individuals make a bold statement. Whether you're looking to transform your vehicle with eye-catching vinyl wraps or enhance your storefront with custom vinyl signage, we have the expertise and products to bring your vision to life.

Vinyl Wraps in Phoenix: Transform Your Vehicle with Custom Designs
A vinyl wrap is one of the most effective ways to turn your vehicle into a mobile advertisement. At VynyLyst, we offer custom vinyl wraps in Phoenix that allow you to showcase your business logo, message, or artwork in a way that’s both professional and attention-grabbing. Whether it’s a full vehicle wrap or a partial design, our wraps are made with high-quality vinyl materials designed to withstand the elements and keep your vehicle looking sharp for years.

Why choose vinyl wraps for your vehicle?

Cost-Effective Advertising: A vinyl wrap is a highly effective way to advertise your business while on the move. Your vehicle will become a 24/7 billboard, attracting attention wherever you go.
Durability: Our vinyl wraps are made with durable materials that resist fading, cracking, and peeling. They are designed to hold up to both hot Phoenix summers and the wear of daily driving.
Customization: From color schemes to logos and custom designs, we create wraps that perfectly match your brand’s identity, making your vehicle a powerful marketing tool.
Vinyl Signage in Phoenix, AZ: Enhance Your Business Presence
Whether you're looking for a new storefront sign, a directional sign for your office, or custom window graphics, vinyl signage is the perfect way to make a lasting impression. At VynyLyst, we specialize in creating high-quality vinyl signage in Phoenix, AZ that enhances your brand’s visibility both indoors and outdoors.

Vinyl signage is versatile, durable, and offers endless possibilities. Our team works closely with you to design custom signage that aligns with your business needs. Whether it's a clean and professional logo sign for your office or a bold and vibrant display for your store, we create custom signs that are sure to attract attention.

Benefits of Vinyl Signage:

Durability: Our vinyl signs are made to last, designed to resist fading, peeling, and weather damage, making them ideal for both indoor and outdoor use.
Flexibility: With vinyl signage, you can create everything from large banners to small, intricate details like lettering or logos. We provide fully customized solutions for all your signage needs.
Affordable and Professional: Vinyl signage is a cost-effective option that delivers a professional look without breaking the bank. It’s an ideal solution for businesses of all sizes, offering high-impact results at affordable prices.
Why Choose VynyLyst for Vinyl Wraps and Signage in Phoenix?
Expert Installation: At VynyLyst, we pride ourselves on providing flawless vinyl wraps and vinyl signage installations. Our experienced team ensures that each wrap and sign is applied with precision, leaving you with a professional, polished look.

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Local Expertise: As a locally owned business in Phoenix, we have a deep understanding of the needs and preferences of our community. We take pride in providing tailored solutions that help local businesses succeed and stand out.

Get in Touch with VynyLyst for Custom Vinyl Wraps and Signage
Are you ready to take your business’s branding to the next level with custom vinyl wraps or vinyl signage? VynyLyst is here to help! We are located at 7336 W Cordes Rd, Phoenix, AZ 85043, and proudly serve clients throughout the Phoenix area.

For more information or to schedule a consultation, call us today at +1 (602) 502-9437. Let’s work together to create high-quality, custom vinyl solutions that will make your business or vehicle stand out in style!

Pulse Merch – Custom Caps and Hat Embroidery Services in Cedar City, Utah

At Pulse Merch, we specialize in providing custom caps embroidery and custom hat embroidery services that are perfect for businesses, sports teams, special events, or personal gifts. Located in Cedar City, Utah, at 736 N Main St Unit 3, Pulse Merch is your trusted source for high-quality embroidery that turns everyday hats into personalized masterpieces.

Whether you're looking to create a custom cap for your team, brand, or a special occasion, we offer a wide range of options, all backed by our expert craftsmanship and attention to detail. Our embroidery services ensure that your custom design is perfectly executed, giving you hats that are both stylish and long-lasting.

Why Choose Pulse Merch for Your Custom Cap and Hat Embroidery?
Precision in Custom Hat Embroidery
When it comes to custom hat embroidery, the key is precision. At Pulse Merch, we use state-of-the-art embroidery machines to ensure that every stitch is placed perfectly. Whether you're adding a logo, name, or unique design to your caps or hats, we make sure the embroidery is sharp, vibrant, and flawlessly executed.

Wide Variety of Hat Styles for Custom Embroidery
At Pulse Merch, we offer a diverse selection of hats that can be customized to suit your needs. From classic baseball caps to trendy snapbacks, trucker hats, beanies, and more, we provide options that fit a variety of styles and preferences. You can choose the perfect hat to match your custom embroidery design, ensuring a cohesive and professional look.

Durable, Long-Lasting Embroidery
Embroidery is known for its durability, and custom cap embroidery is no exception. Unlike other methods such as screen printing, which can fade or peel, embroidered designs stay intact and vibrant for the long haul. This means that your custom hats will continue to look great, even after regular wear and washing. Whether for a business, a sports team, or a personal gift, your custom hat embroidery will maintain its integrity over time.

Perfect for Branding and Promotional Use
Custom hats with embroidery are a fantastic way to promote your brand, business, or event. With custom caps embroidery, you can create professional-looking hats that showcase your company logo, slogan, or any other design. These embroidered hats serve as walking advertisements, helping to increase your brand's visibility and reach. They're perfect for giveaways, corporate gifts, or team uniforms, adding a stylish touch to your promotional efforts.

Personalized Gifts for Special Occasions
Looking for a thoughtful gift? Custom hat embroidery offers a unique way to create personalized gifts for birthdays, weddings, family reunions, or other special events. You can add names, dates, or even meaningful symbols to make each hat special and memorable. Custom embroidered hats are a lasting keepsake that recipients will cherish.

The Pulse Merch Custom Embroidery Process
At Pulse Merch, we make the process of creating your custom caps embroidery simple and stress-free. Here’s how it works:

Design Submission
The first step in creating your custom embroidered hats is submitting your design. Whether you already have a logo or artwork or need help creating something from scratch, our experienced team is here to assist you. We can take your design and ensure it’s optimized for embroidery to achieve the best result.

Choose Your Hat Style and Color
Next, you'll choose the type of hat that best fits your needs. Whether it's a classic baseball cap, a trendy snapback, or something else, we offer a wide selection of hat styles and colors to choose from. Our team will guide you in selecting the best hat that complements your custom design.

Review the Digital Proof
Before we begin the embroidery process, we'll send you a digital proof of your design. This allows you to confirm the placement, size, and colors of the design before we proceed. Your approval ensures that the final product meets your expectations.

Embroidery and Production
Once you’ve approved the proof, we begin the embroidery process. Our advanced equipment uses high-quality threads to create your design with precision and clarity. Each cap is embroidered with care, ensuring that the final result is perfect and professional.

Fast Turnaround and Delivery
At Pulse Merch, we understand the importance of time, and we pride ourselves on offering a fast turnaround for custom hat embroidery projects. Whether you need just a few hats or a bulk order, we’re committed to delivering your custom embroidered hats on time, so you can start enjoying them right away.

Meiplus Dentalcare: Effective Relief for Toothaches in Marine Parade

Toothaches can be one of the most uncomfortable and painful experiences you can have. Whether it's a sharp, constant pain or an occasional throb, toothaches are often a sign that something isn't right with your oral health. If you’re experiencing tooth pain and need relief, Meiplus Dentalcare in Marine Parade is here to help. Located at 141 East Coast Road, Singapore 428831, our dental team is ready to provide effective treatments for toothaches and other dental concerns.

What Causes Toothaches?
Toothaches can occur for various reasons, ranging from minor to more severe underlying issues. Understanding the cause of your toothache is the first step in finding the appropriate treatment. Some common causes of toothaches include:

Cavities: The most common cause of toothaches is a cavity or dental decay. When bacteria in your mouth break down food particles, they produce acid that erodes your tooth enamel, leading to cavities that can cause pain.

Gum Disease: Gum infection or inflammation, also known as gingivitis or periodontitis, can result in toothaches, as the gums begin to pull away from the teeth, leading to sensitivity and pain.

Tooth Abscess: A severe tooth infection can lead to an abscess, a pocket of pus that causes intense, localized pain. Abscesses require immediate treatment to prevent the infection from spreading.

Tooth Sensitivity: Some people experience tooth pain due to sensitivity, often triggered by hot or cold food and drinks. This sensitivity can be caused by worn enamel or receding gums.

Teeth Grinding (Bruxism): Habitual grinding of teeth, especially at night, can cause toothaches as it puts excess pressure on the teeth, leading to discomfort.

Trauma or Injury: A fall or injury to the mouth can result in tooth pain, either from a cracked tooth, loose tooth, or other dental injuries.

How We Treat Toothaches at Meiplus Dentalcare
At Meiplus Dentalcare, we prioritize your comfort and well-being. If you’re experiencing a toothache, our team of experienced dentists will conduct a thorough examination to determine the cause of your pain and recommend the best treatment options for relief. Here are some of the ways we treat toothaches:

Dental Fillings: If your toothache is caused by a cavity, we may recommend a dental filling. We’ll remove the decayed portion of the tooth and fill it with a material that restores its shape and function.

Root Canal Therapy: If the pain is due to an infection in the pulp of the tooth, a root canal may be necessary to remove the infection and save the tooth. Our skilled dentists use advanced techniques to ensure this procedure is as comfortable and effective as possible.

Gum Treatment: If your toothache is caused by gum disease, we can provide professional cleaning and gum treatments to reduce inflammation and improve your gum health.

Tooth Extraction: In cases where the tooth is severely damaged or infected and cannot be saved, we may recommend a tooth extraction. Our team will ensure that the procedure is done safely and with minimal discomfort.

Mouthguards for Teeth Grinding: If your toothache is caused by teeth grinding, we can create a custom mouthguard to protect your teeth and prevent further damage.

Medication for Pain Relief: We may recommend over-the-counter pain relievers or prescribe medication to help manage your toothache pain while we work on resolving the underlying issue.

Why Choose Meiplus Dentalcare for Toothaches?
At Meiplus Dentalcare, we provide compassionate, high-quality care for all our patients. Whether your toothache is mild or severe, we understand that you want immediate relief and effective treatment. Our clinic offers:

Experienced and Caring Dentists: Our team of professionals has years of experience treating toothaches and a variety of dental issues. We take the time to listen to your concerns and provide personalized care.

Comprehensive Treatments: We offer a wide range of treatments to address the root causes of your tooth pain, from fillings and root canals to gum treatments and extractions.

State-of-the-Art Facilities: Our clinic is equipped with the latest dental technology, allowing us to diagnose and treat your toothache with precision and comfort.

Patient Comfort: We understand that visiting the dentist can be stressful, especially when you're in pain. Our team will ensure you feel at ease throughout the entire process, providing gentle care and effective solutions.

Affordable Care: We believe that everyone should have access to the dental care they need. Our services are competitively priced, and we offer flexible payment options to make sure you can get the treatment you need without financial worry.

I like to read these elaborate spam emails and try to analyze the different psychological tricks. This one that I received today took a sharp turn when I least expected it 😂