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"WiFi is better than Ethernet because the air is bigger so it can hold more internet."
Yes, and horse-drawn carriages are better than cars because they have bigger wheels.13 -
There is. My latest creation. A 8bit microcontroler made in minecraft.
Features:
(1.0 version without control room)
-8bit full adder + overflow flag
-8x8bit RAM
-16x8(4bit instruction, 4bit address)
program memory
-64 possible microinstructions (16 instructions with 4 step each)
-uncondintional and if oveflow jumps
(place determined using address written with instruction)
-1/3Hz clock speed 😨
New working version (2.0) has 1Hz clock and new faster instruction decoder.
In 3.0 in addition to that useless bus was replaced with 16x8bit "hardware" stack that can store adresses and data. The clock is going to be yeeted out because it is unnecesary #clocklessisbetter (WIP tho)
Might add more documentation and post it as learning model for CS wanabees 🤔. What do you think?
Picture: Old working version 1.0
(the only one with fancy diagram)
Newer version screenshots in comments.
34 -
I'm late to work
...Because I'm still eating breakfast
...Because I'm browsing devRant
... And writing a rant about being late to work
... Which remind me...2 -
Got into the monday tech meeting, CTO be like: we lost 10% of users due to last version, terrible I know, but that's really valuable data, I want you to find out why they left.
3 -
This post is in memory of all the devRanters fallen in battle against management stress and impossible deadlines.
Let their memories remain, and their loss never be forgotten.7 -
Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender.7
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You know why i hate lenovo with a burning passion? Not because they make industrial waste and sell it. Not because they trick non tech people into buying their garbage. No, i hate them because their shitass laptops dont even fit in my rubbish bin.
28 -
"You got infected with WannaCry because you didn't install updates"
"You got infected with NotPetya because you did install updates"
Users:
9 -
Alright people, I'm gonna be blunt here, which is something not often seen from me. Thankfully this platform is used to it.
I am absolutely sick of people hating Windows/MacOS just because of the fucking practices of the companies. Let's take a look at a pro/con list of each OS type respectively.
Windows:
Pro - Most computers built for it
Pro - Average consumer friendly
Pro - Most games made for it
------------------------------------------
Con - Proprietary
Con - Shady info collection (disableable)
Con - Can take some work to customize
~
Linux:
Pro - Open source
Pro - Hundreds of versions/distros
Pro - Incredibly customizable on all fronts
------------------------------------------
Con - Can have limited modern hardware support
Con - The good stuff has a steep learning curve
Con - Tends to have unoptimized programs or semi-failed copies of Windows programs
~
MacOS:
Pro - Actually quite secure in general
Pro - Optimized to all hell (on Apple devices)
Pro - Usually just works
------------------------------------------
Con - Only (legally) usable on Apple devices
Con - Proprietary
Con - Locked down customization
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
See? None of them are perfect. Fucking get over it already. Maybe I want to use Windows because it works for me, and it actually does what I need it to. I can disable the spying shit through a few nice programs. Just because I work in IT doesn't mean that I HAVE to hate Windows and LOVE Linux! I mean, Linux is absolutely SPECTACULAR for all of my servers, but as a Desktop OS? Not there for me yet. Check one of my other rants: https://devrant.com/rants/928935/... and you'll see a lot of my gripes with Linux that Windows actually executes well. FUCK!38 -
I cannot find a job because I don't have experience and I cannot get experience because I don't have a job.
-- Ancient Chinese Proverb5 -
Best and worst customer I've had: A bank.
Great because they had so much money for projects.
Unbearable because everything needed to work in IE6.6 -
when you have to do this because the code looks correct but you're not sure what the heck is wrong because it doesn't make sense
12 -
Can't fall asleep because of unfinished code...
Wake up at 03:00 AM because of nightmares about bad code...
Too tired to finish code or rewrite bad code :'(7 -
There was a time when I laughed at "I work because I wanna buy games but I can't play them because I work". There was.4
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I'm afraid of getting dumped and it's not because i fear rejection or being alone, it's just because the stack trace will be HUGE!4
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WHY THE FUCK DOES IT HAVE TO END?
WHY THE FUCK DOES ANYTHING HAVE TO EVER END?
When I left my previous employer, I was so connected to people there. In fact my entire direct team was just few months old.
I ended up crying like a baby on my farewell call in front of everyone. I just couldn't stop.
Definitely not the brightest or smartest people, but surely great at heart. I did hate them at times and we had our ups and downs but they made the place tolerable.
The work culture is created by colleagues at any organisation and not the leadership/management. And work culture was one of the major reasons why I stayed back for 7.25 years even when a rat was earning more than me.
I joined new organisation with a big smile on my face that, I will learn and earn more. And as I was buckling up, my lead quit.
She was one of the smartest person I met. She inspired me so fucking much. Our entire team is geographically located in multiple time zones. Still she never hesitated to jump on calls as early as 07:00 AM or as late as 12:00 AM. Yet she pinged me every time on Slack to check on me and made sure I was doing well. Kept pushing me to get enough sleep, take care and not burnout myself. Always handling her daughter while on calls with us without impacting the discussions.
She taught me like her own child. So patient with a retard like me. Gave me good feedback and insights on how can I grow as a person and what all to look for in the organisation.
She bids her final goodbye early next week and with every meeting we have, I get more emotional. Doesn't feel like we are in different continents but just in same room, talking like we have known each other for years.
And you know what, after joining this org, I came to know that they hired me for a level below what I was in previous org (because how the job titles were structured here and I don't really care for titles). The product I am working on is highly ambitious and everyone is keen to make it live.
And now everything falls on me. Kickass opportunity to get a promotion, relocation, good hike, and all that I desire. And my employer is known to be quite employee friendly to actually fullfil all my wishes.
But that's not what I want. I want my people with me. It would have been so fucking awesome if she wouldn't have quit and together we would have built the product and have had so much fun doing so.
I am sure, the reason of my death will be empathy. I am next to tears while I type this.
I suck at goodbyes. Even though, with the help of technology, people are and will be connected, but still goodbyes are the shittiest things to ever exist.11 -
You know scrum is working when the dev team are feeling that scrum isn't working because they have nothing to do because the product team can't keep up with the pace.4
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Gaming on Linux:
Linux doesn't have many games..
Why? Because the market share is small.. But why is that? Because Linux doesn't have many games. FUCK29 -
You are lonely because ->
You don't have a partner because ->
You are a nocturnal person because ->
Night might be the best time for development because ->
You are too much obsessed with programming because ->
You are lonely because ->
...8 -
When you do everything in a school project(c#) and fail the exam because your asshole friend didn't do anything, because he "doesn't understand", yet he passes the exam (c#).
Bastard.
5 -
When you've been debugging for an hour because an element keeps disappearing in Chrome and you find its because of Adblock :/4
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Don't burn other devs just because you don't like their solution. Discuss empower and stop being a total prick. People should look up to you because they respect you not because you put them down!6
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Java's System.out.println because it's too effing long to write!
And in general, all of Java because you need an MB of code just for Hello World.9 -
That moment you realise Typescript is not called Typescript because it has types but because of the immense amount of typing you have to do to get anything done...
7 -
So, I got a recall notice for my car today. Because of brake problems? No. Because of air bag issues? No. Because spontaneously combust while hurtling down the freeway? No. Because the software developers pushed out buggy code. My car is being recalled for a software bug! I kid you not.9
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That feeling when your boss calls you clever not because of your programming skills, but because you fixed a trivial Excel issue for him.
3 -
I can't get a job because I don't have experience because I can't get a job because I don't have experience because I can't get a job because THEY WANNA HIRE A JUNIOR ROCKSTAR CODER WITH 10 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN ANGULAR9
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I replaced a python/mysql daily process that takes 25 minutes to run with a perl/redis process that takes 1 minute to run, so it runs multiple times a day. Mgmt asks me to convert it to python/mysql, "...but keep the run time at one minute. That's great!"
No.4 -
That feeling of reilef and rage when you find out the crippling bug in your code is because you are passing the wrong variable and not because the function is broken.3
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I used to love apt because all I knew was windows.
Now I hate apt because I know pacman/yaourt.
It's funny how perspective does that.7 -
I don't program because I know what I want. I program because I'm indecisive and I need rand Arrays to pick where I eat today.5
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Expecting your client to be nice with you just because you are nice to them is like expecting lion not to eat you, because you don't eat lions.3
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I fucking nailed my c exam.
Had to write C on paper today. Fuck my uni for that. But I think I aced it. I coded C for weeks and hopefully finally payed off.
Fuck coding on paper though. They are just too lazy to make something digital. But man at least let me get some compiler messages. It's not like anyone codes without compiler messages anymore. -
An hour before my Mathematical Expression and Reasoning for Computer Science final...
Have reviewed all the material available but past exams are useless because new_prof == new_format.
This is not even a rant, I'm just scared because to get into the major I need an average between this and programming of 82. I fucked up in the second midterm and got a 50/100. Everything was so perfect (at least above 80) and now I need more than 70 in this final. I'm feel I can get more than 70 but I had the same feeling during the midterm I fucked up.
25 -
The most: „I go away from GitHub because Microsoft is shit“
I : „I dont use GitHub because I want free private repos“7 -
That feeling when you finish work on Friday having built something really cool, but don't want to stop working on it.
Partly because you were enjoying it, partly because you were in the zone, and partly because you're scared that you are going to forget how it works by Monday! -
> Make a small game.
> Do it in Rust because why not.
> Decide "Hey, why not make the game objects have Lua scripts for their logic because Lua is easier to do quick and dirty code in than Rust?"
> 5 hours later delete all the code related to running the Lua in Rust because AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA1 -
FUCK ME!!
For a job, I have to create a form with more than 20 fields!! FUCK!!
The most shitty part is that I need to gather all the shit users fill in (if they even fill it in) and place in a shitty e-mail and send that to the client!! FUCK!!16 -
Finally!
My first electric guitar was around $25, and apart from terrible sound, some notes were just off or dead because of its construction. Having no money, I was demotivated because I couldn't play what I wanted not because of me, but because of my equipment. When depression struck, I quit playing guitar altogether.
Now, because of my brilliant doctors, my therapy works, and the desire to play is born again. But now I can finally get proper instruments. I'm happily relearning how to play and it finally sounds great.
3 -
I HATE it when SCHOOL TEACHERS OF ALL PEOPLE Suspect me of hacking because I am coding probably in batch because I don't have admin privileges12
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I don't have a job because I don't have experience
I don't have experience because I don't have a job.
The perpetual problems of a newbie coderling3 -
Some people refactor because feature updates need to be optimized throughout the code base.
I refactor because I am terrible at planning.3 -
So I was told why a bash with Git isn't allowed in my company.
The people that built the development kit (IDEs, tools, etc) estimated that Git wasn't necessary since integrated in Visual Studio.
They clearly never tried to do a pull request or a rebase then. Good to know.
(a coworker gave me a way to have a bash anyway, so that made my day \o/ but rant needed anyway) -
DBMS teacher flunked me mostly because of bad handwriting. :|
It's okay because I already earn more then he does. :)6 -
I hate myself sometimes.
I wasted 45 minutes in a 2 hour coding competition... Because I forgot to multiply a number by 3.
Now I'm sad because I got a bad rank due to that wasted time, making me unable to complete the next level because there was not enough time left. :(13 -
Torvalds, not because of him as a person, but because he created linux, the kernel which today powers the only usable OS, GNU/Linux.6
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Saying you don't like a distribution because of its desktop GUI or some other changeable config setting is like saying you don't like a house because the water is running.8
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So, for my C class, the computers in the lab are using VS 2015. To be able to compile C we have to change some settings to allow the program to compile.
I like to use my computer (with Arch Linux) and use my tools (Vim and GCC).
The guy next to me was trying to do the homework, but he was struggling. I decided to give it a shot and I was able to do it, so I showed him my code and he tried it in the computer.
The program crashes every time no matter what. We asked the professor. I show him my code and how it's working. Apparently he was confused because I was using the terminal and not VS. So he proceeded to said that it's because I'm not using VS2015 and GCC is doing the whole work for me.
I'm like ಠ_ಠ and then he keeps saying that he doesn't know what or how GCC works (for real? Someone that teaches C and has a Ph. D on CS doesn't now what GCC is?) but that it is apparently doing everything for me. So my code should be wrong if it crashes on VS2015.... ಠ_ಠ
What do you think? I'm thinking about talking with the head department of CS (I know that he is a Linux guy) and see what happens. Should I do it? Or should I just use VS2015 as the "professor" is asking?
I even tried online compilers to see if it was just working on my computer, but even they use GCC to compile.5 -
Seniors: I wrote it like that because I had deadlines, you wrote it like that because you're a moron.3
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Last week I grew 20 gray hairs because the test environment wasn't working properly
Today I discovered that it was all my fault because of a misconfiguration32 -
Thank you, dear 3rd party vendor replying to my ticket to my work email and sending me my new password IN FUCKING PLAINTEXT!
10 -
He couldn't sleep for 2 days because he missed her.
I couldn't sleep for 4 days because I missed a stupid ";" in my code. 😟 -
okay if you think i hate javascript just because it's popular you're partially wrong, i hate js because it's popular and shit, i wouldn't go shitting on vba, because it died and got replaced by a better language.
it's like shitting on sword art online.13 -
@dfox
On Desktop, when i comment or rant, please focus the textfield.
The number of times I almost had to buy a new pc because it almost learned to fly. Just because when you are ranting to vent, you don't want to get even ansier because you have been typing tin air this whole time.1 -
Oh you're a real programmer because you use pointers.... Big man you are. Meanwhile I'm at home because I use a garbage collector and don't have any memory bugs.9
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It's so fucking hot today, just seriously fucking rediculous. Thinking of taking the laptop to code at the beer garden - will be the only way to get any productivity done.
Thoughts?5 -
Me and my colleague where debugging an issue with a 3rd party provider we are integrating with, we received this error result:
Making the request failed (dunno why)
The award of best error message goes to those fellas T_T3 -
Who here sends their releases through email 🤢🤢, because I do and because it is a closed off system, and because the company we are contracted for lives in 2008. Ah legacy systems....4
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I just compiled my own kernel. It took me such a long time [because i'm a crackpot or because i'm german] that i'm not even a hint proud2
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That awkward feeling of not working because you don't feel productive because you are not working because you...1
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Had a weird but wonderful moment with my boss a little while ago - not being able to completely explain what I wanted to, I actually used the phrase (without thinking) "because... Reasons...". I realised what I just said as he looked at me and laughed, somehow we both just understood and it summed up the conversation.1
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The Google timeline:
- early 2000: "I use it because it's the best search engine out there"
- mid 2000: "I use it because it's a full ecosystem for mail and office and it's free"
- early 2010: "I use it because it integrates seamlessly with my phone"
- mid 2010: "I use it because it's at least better than the competition"
- now: "I'm willing to try literary anything that's not Google"13 -
Soo why the fuck am I receiving notifications about someone from my contacts is available on messenger, when you don't fucking have the permissions to read my contacts? I'm looking at you Facebook Messenger.
That's some new level of ignorance. "Oh I see you didn't gave me the permissions to read your contacts. Worry not my friend just let me take a secret peek of it. I will be discreet, I promise!"... Well FUCK YOU!
P.S.: I only use that piece of garbage because unfortunately some of my friends are only available there... Time to convince them to switch.6 -
Got a nice PR merged. Happy because it's on a popular project with over 4k stars. Ashamed because 50% of the commits are changing indentation from 4 spaces to tabs 😌1
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Warning: This contains spoilers for Silicon Valley S4 E10:
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At 5:35 Gilfoyle says: "In order to hold that much data we would have to go RAID 0. [...] If we lose even one platter, we lose Melcher's data. Permanently."
But my question is: Why use RAID at all? Just storing the data without RAID would reduce the complexity, and if one disk fails, only the data on that one disk is lost. Also, I doubt speed is a priority at that point, since the whole thing is running on a home broadband connection, which something like a WD Gold data-center-harddrive (200+ MB/s) can easily max out.
Also, wouldn't it be easier to pay the broadband bill out of their own pocket, instead of moving tons of server equipment to Stanford?4 -
"Senior developer" blaming me because he's not able to remember the codes anymore because I refactored it.
GET OUTTA MY FACE YOU WERE THE CODE REVIEWER2 -
So, unlike normal people who just click on an mp3 file in windows explorer, I'm listening to music saved on my windows hard drive, accessed via an sshfs mount, using VLC running inside a HyperV linux VM and Xming/pulseaudio to make it show up inside windows like a normal window and play sound.
Why? Because this is my replacement for WSL which broke (Good Job on the updates as always, M$) and I'm celebrating that I got everything* to work.
* Nevermind the hours I wasted because I forgot to add a rule to the windows firewall allowing pulseaudio to connect and the fact that Xming can't handle vlc playing video
7 -
I really like DevRant, but why can't an avatar look happy, is it because most developers hate their jobs, because of clients or what not?12
-
2year project got cancelled, not because of covid, not because of budget reason, but because a new politician got elected that is against our company industry.6
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Saying Java is good because it runs on 3 billion devices is the same like saying mass public transport is good because it carry billions of people.8
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Maybe it's because I'm a pleb or because I was first taught Java, but, I only really know Object Oriented Programming patterns, what are the other types, uses, etc?10
-
15 minutes delayed because whatever...
+30 minutes waiting for the next train, because my train stopped early because there was no AC and it were 38 degrees Celsius
+30 minutes, train I was changed to was delayed
Train I was changed to only had snacks to offer because they haven’t got water
+60 minutes on this train because, well why not
„We wish you had a pleasant journey“: notification pops while I’m still 2 hours in...
Yeah fuck off...1 -
I've been doing it wrong for 6 months! I've been building -> uploading my work manually to server using ssh.
Now I decided I write a script for that shit .-.
Though I'm still not able to make output take a different color in Ubuntu default terminal, tried many solutions but I still fail :\
Any suggestions?14 -
I saw this in a project proposal of a friend's job:
we build native apps using the most advanced mobile application
development platform on the market: React Native
I feel sorry for him :\3 -
Saying Java is good because it works on every operating system, is like saying anal sex is good, because it works with every gender!9
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OS can’t install the network driver because the installer can’t see the network card, the installer can’t see the network cars because the driver isn’t installed.1
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The moment when your CEO freaks out because he can’t login and starts insulting your architecture because he thinks its a caching issue even though it is a cookie issue because his CTO changed the domain on your cookie for no reason.
2 -
People say "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
However, I think companies can and will create anxiety in a product to get you to buy something else, or something more expensive. This would fit with planned obsolescence. You need to update to Windows 11 because Windows 10 will not have support of updates. Fear the viruses!!!
Also, perhaps companies are purposely hiring incompetent people to head up products? So malicious incompetence?
I think the enshitification of tech is on purpose for various reasons. One of them being to create anxiety in people so they accept shittier solutions for all facets of life. Not just tech solutions.
A tech example of this is searches. They want you using AI. What is the end game goal of AI? Is it easier to hide bias?21 -
I don't have much to rant about mostly because my stories aren't very interesting but also mostly because I'm kinda unaware of people's anger.3
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I hate that the company that I work for has every hugging page blocked. I can't even download or use pip. For hug sake, I don't even have a project to work on and you stop me from working on any side projects?
I hope I get a call from the places I've applied for.4 -
git add . && git commit -m "Because we're constantly interrupted and because we are not given enough time to do things properly, I need to check in and out of branches all the time (because separate envs are actually separate branches now) and have to interrupt what I'm doing. So this commit message reflects that."10
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Tabs vs Spaces.
Not because one of them is definitely better than the other, but because it's 2020, we have editorconfig and everybody should just use what he personally prefers.7 -
I use AdBlock. Deezer gave me one of those 3 months for ~$1.5.
Now I'm Premium+ while using AdBlock without feeling bad about it :)6 -
Can't git push
because of an "access denied" error message
because I didn't set up my key file properly (with right paths, right format and so on)
because I'm working from my home laptop device
because I'm in home office
because Corona
..but..
I can connect to my work computer where git is set up properly but also I
can't git push
because I can't "cd" into the project path
because the samba mount point is messed up
because I don't reboot my machine to fix it
because I can't enter my password
because it does have a full hard drive encryption and the password screen shows up before the network services are started.2 -
Do you make popcorn because you want to eat it...
Or because you want to see if you can pop all the corn? -
btw boobies because hair color and because sometimes I speak about myself in feminine gender just to mess with people (and because mentally I am probably a woman even tho physically I look like a man - shit happens)5
-
Learning the subprocess module in python, because os is deprecated. its a shame because i had just learned os
6 -
Don't write tests for work code.
It started off because i couldn't because of the tooling but now i can don't have the time. -
I think I may need a second graphics card. Not because of the performance but because I want to use more than 4 displays...
Damn first world problems!6 -
So I have a semi big project ongoing:
Because my modem+router combo sucks dick and gets buttfucked to much I want to make my own Router with PPPoE.
So I ordered an 8 euro used switch, 24ports for management, but our IP TV provider is sucking cock too! He uses multicasting to send the fucking IP TV signal. So the switch is not VLan ready and so the network will be flodded.
But that's not the worst...
I don't know how to route VOIP over QoS correctly... So I just hope that part work's!
I also ordered another network switch Wich is manageable + an God damn networking closet. 80 bucks gone again! Wish me luck this works better...
BUT THATS NOT THE WORST BECAUSE NOW COMES THE HEAVY PART!
I wanted to use my old AMD Athlon X2 64bit and 4 gigs of RAM PC to be my powerhouse of the router. I plugged it into the wall, booted, screen error... Thought it might be the integrated graphics card... Unplugged my old one, inserted it.... AND IT WOR... NOPE NOPE IT DIDN'T NOW MY DAMN MOTHERBOARD IS FUCKING FRIED TO DUST BECAUSE OF THE GOD DAMN ... I DONT EVEN KNOW! AAAAA
So I thought I could temporarily use my raspberry pi one model b, a good fellow with multiple years of usage! I plugged in the sd card into my girls laptop, wasn't at home, and her God damn internet downloaded that shitty raspbian (sorry raspi but your servers sometimes are very slow) and after the download I realized her GOD DAMN SD READER DIDNT FUCKING WORK!!!
SO I GUESS I WILL WAIT!1 -
Microsoft FUCK YOU!
How the fuck did you lock my account and make it impossible for me to recover it.
I have send you all the information that you have asked me and you still tell me that you can't prove my ownership? Bullshit!
Aggggghhh, this is making so angry since all my accounts are setup to log in with that email account.
This is why I hate technical support people who only reply what is written in a fucking script.
Sorry for swearing that much. Not really. Fuck you Microsoft!1 -
Ranted about this before, but...
>have likely ADHD
>poor performance
>can't get raise because of poor performance
>can't afford treatment because low salary
It sucks.2 -
I look in the docs at the function send(..., copy=True, ...).
I want to understand what copy is for and I read the description of the parameter: "copy (bool) – Should the message be sent in a copying or non-copying manner."
BuT whAt DoES thAt MEAn ?!5 -
Fear.
Fear rules the world.
Why coercion? Because control. Why control? Because it gives better chances of survival. Why survival? Because fear of death is hardwired into us.
Why greed? Because money. Why money? Because wen day is dark, you need money to pay your way out. If you lose your job, you’ll still have money. It’s fear yet again.10 -
Sometimes I think that getting a degree was the biggest mistake I have ever done.
When professor wants to know why you did the work the way you did and you disagree as polite as you can, he calls you Arogant.. Like what the fuck, if you ask me 4 times why I did not expand the assigned task and I 4 times repeat that I want that shit as abstract as I can get. I already have it 5 times bigger as others god damnit, If you want me to focus on details, ask me to bring a tent..
A little bit of time later another professor assigns you a "Social network for schools"... Like wtf? U want facebook clone for free and in 4 weeks... What is this bullshit? You have mistaken uni for freelancer..
Because fuck you sideways... How dare you to have another classes?
Note for self... Next time open up a hotdog stand..1 -
I despise services like WhoisGuard; I search for the information of a domain because I wish to inquire about something, not because I wish to spam the bloke.3
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Anyone elses weekend getting super fucked because of the new iOS update?
I am sitting here late at night working because they just decided to screw with their filesystem because of their ugly new camera...2 -
Every Morning I wake up with a subtle headache. It’s not as bad as with a hangover but still like a dehydration headache. I drink like 3 - 4 Liters of Water per day though so it can’t be that.
Any ideas on how to fix this? It makes getting up just even harder than it already is..26 -
Just noticed a thread on r/programmerhumor about bank code intentionally adding delays with all these JavaScript code blocks of how it's adding sleep cycles in.
So I spent an hour reading the documentation and wrote up an over engineered solution in COBOL just to prove a point.2 -
Go to hell elastic cloud!
While true:
I can’t resize my elasticsearch instance to get memory because it’s stuck….
It’s stuck because it doesn’t has enough memory to actually start …
Wtf!2 -
joined on 2018, just NOW enabled dark mode in devrant.
because someone ranted about 2020 being cool because of darkmode in github. -
!dev
Zero carbs for a full week, went pretty good. Didn’t feel tired or anything..
UNTIL.. I got out my whiskey today..
It’s pumping me up so hard..
my hard rate must be around 120 or so..
Too much energy..16 -
That feeling when...
...you can't build a project because you can't autogenerate some files because they rely on some other autogenerated files that rely on some other autogenerated files that can't be generated because the project can't build...
Just another day in the eye of the dependency hurricane! -
Once a week because I’m studying Web Development. Once a month because I’m a fulltime freelance designer.
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I guess I would be a teacher because... Hey those kids won't teach themselves. Or I will build EMP weapons because fuck I like my job.
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So tired of app developers localizing app information with Google Translate. Use a real person that can READ AND WRITE IN THE FUCKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE or scrap the entire translation and do marketing in English. And Google? Why the fuck do you allow people to embarrass themselves by providing machine translated SHIT in the Store Listing options?
Some gems found on Google Play Store, translated from Norwegian to English the way I as Norwegian interpret them.
Reddit: Reddit is a collection of bank interest rate society: cats, piks, politics and more.
eBay: Offer, to buy, to sell. Turn pages offering and save on clothes Sjoeping, used cars and more
Huuuge Casino: New social castls and casino a sensation! Now play FREE!
And finally, devRant 😂: Social networks to get a contact with other developers than funny qalz about tekk.1 -
Is this survivorship bias or can people just not hold down a job anymore?
http://businessinsider.com/employee... -
IntelliJ refactoring tools because......because.
Least favourite dev tool: Xcode refactoring tools because they still dont support Apples own language. -
"I'm using a really long switch, because I'm old-school and just use what I know, because I don't have time to look up fancy functions like str_pad"
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So the saga of broken fucking everything continues at work, and I'm managing it, effectively, and doing it correctly on the first go-round. It's a long process though, because the two retards who preceded me were equally inept for completely different, yet equally disruptive and destructive reasons. The first dude was just plain psychotic, probably still is. I'd post some of his code, but I don't want anyone's face to melt off like those Nazi dudes at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. I can handle it because I'm constantly inebriated, which is not as fun as it sounds. If you have to ask yourself if you can handle it, you probably aren't, unless you've had to Uber to/from work due to still being fucking drunk. Anyway, enough about that, and it was only like twice. The rest of the times, I was more blazed than Jerry Garcia at a weed smoking contest. Moving along.
UPS shipping labels broke two weeks ago, I fixed it, but these fucking 10xers jointly decided to not only never implement anything resembling error handling, other than EMPTY GOD DAMN "try/catch"es (empty catch, wow so efficient), and instead of using COMMENTS, which I know are a new thing, they'd wrap blocks of code in something like: if 1 = 0 {} FUCK YOU DICKFACES. As I was saying before I got emotional again, they tied the success to all kinds of unrelated, irrelevant shit. I'm literally needle/haystacking my way through the entire 200GB codebase, ALONE, trying to find all the borked things. Helpfully, my phone is ringing all the time from customer service, complaining about things that are either nothing to do with the site, or due to user stupidity, 75% of the time.
A certain department at my company relies on some pretty specific documents to do their job, and these documents are/were generated from data in the database. So until I can find and fix all of the things, I've diverted my own attention as much as possible to the rapid implementation of a report generation microservice so that no one elses work is further disrupted while I continue my cursed easter egg hunt from fucking hell.
After a little more than two days, I'm about to lauch a standalone MS to handle the reports, and it's unfortunately more complicated than I'd like, because it requires a certain library that isn't available on Winblows, so I've dockerized the application. Anyway, just after lunch, I've finished my final round of tests, and I'm about ready to begin migrating it to the server and setting up (shitty fucking shit) IIS to serve it appropriately. At this point, this particular report has been unavailable by web for about 8 days.
A little after lunch, and with no forewarning of any kind, the manager of managers runs upstairs and screams at me to "work faster" and that "this needs to be back online RIGHT NOW", but I also know that this individual is going to throw a fit if things on this pdf aren't a pixel perfect match. So I just say "that's some amazing advice, I wish I'd had the foresight to just do it better and work faster". Silence for a good five seconds, then I follow up with "please leave and let me get back to my work". At that moment from around the corner, my "supervisor" suddenly, magically even, remembers that he has had the ability to print this crucial, amazingly super fucking important document all along, despite me directly asking him a week ago, and he prints it and takes it where it needs to go. In the time that it takes him to go to that other department and return, I deploy my service.
I spent the rest of the day browsing indeed and linkedin jobs, but damn this market is kinda weird right now, yeah?2 -
I thought the weather app I was using was hacked because because it displayed Ukranian Village as my current/default location.
Somehow this zip code though is known by that...
2 -
I hate these hipster people who think because they write python they don't need to write any tests. Meanwhile the same people who bashes bash scripts ... GNAAAA1
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Docker pisses you off? Everything worked fine and suddenly doesn't?
$ docker system purge
Reset Docker
Reinstall containers.
Profit.1 -
Never due to code but because of code because we are all friends in this industry (except the occasional few).
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Looking for WebSockets... when this explanation appears
...or just Forever Frame in IE because... because it is IE
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E-mail the supervisor saying I'm prioritising this new feature because it's more important. Not because it's currently broke and I'm stuck.
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#because_windows
In V 1.7 Ansible added support for managing Windows servers ... A proper treatment of using Ansible with Windows hosts probably deserved is own book.
....
*Throws Windows server away* -
I never click ad part in the google search and whenever I see people clicking the ads, A part of me quietly dies inside.
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Because I got paid to do stuff I was already doing for free...
And because business school didn't get me a "guaranteed" high paying job 10yrs also. -
It's a fun day when I need to reinstall my OS twice.
First time because of sudden power loss, second time because I was messing around with a few things. -
In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because I am enlightened by my intelligence.2
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Is it just me or do people sometimes do major refactoring not because it needs to, but purely because they are inheriting old code and can't be bothered to understand it5
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I went home because I wasn't feeling well. Checked DevRant and apparently it was a good thing because I would have gotten nothing done without SO
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/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻
Why can't you just do what I say... I don't need ur opinion on points that I specifically stated should be done a certain way....
I don't want to spend 30mins arguing with you... I already got enough work as it is and ur supposed to be helping me...
I don't have time to explain everything to you... Just what I need you to do....
There's a reason I got promoted and you didn't...4 -
He couldn't sleep for 2 days because he missed her.
.
I couldn't sleep for 4 days because I missed a stupid ";" in my code.
#Developers7 -
I get stuck because I'm too frustrated, too often, and because I'm frustrated I stop doing anything and... do nothing because if I do one mistake everything else has to be wrong and I fail at everything else too right? idk my brain definitely lacks logic (not only because my code is not logical and attracks bugs far too often, but also just in general) and I can't cope yeet
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Having the people who hated me die by an aneurysma because they were too upset because of their envy
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Ancient people worshipped the sun not because they were primitive, but because solar flare destroyed AGI after the World War Final.2
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streaming media is evil because it doesn't force people to go to each others houses anymore because they have the movie you couldn't afford or didn't want to rent or buy1
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def longVariableNamesEverywhere(*args):
"""
Not a substitute for docstrings and code comments.
"""
#TODO: insert witty and legible code.
#TODO: learn to read code.
return "Rant and self-deprecation complete."4 -
Jimmy Bogard purely because he gets loads of hate on social media because of idiots abusing the free libraries he puts up on nuget, and blaming him because they’re dense. And has Nick Chapsas constantly flaming him.
Jimmy doesn’t give two fucks. Be like Jimmy.
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