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Hurry up before sale ends. Now you can get Samsung internet Browser at a discount space for just 45.92 MB instead of 61.55 MB
18 -
Never let your computer know that you are in hurry. Computers can smell fear. They slow down if they know that you are running out of time.
8 -
Boss: make this thing
Me: yeah no worries. Where is the spec?
Boss: We don't have enough one but we outsourced the design so call him
Designer: haven't started yet
Me: excellent
Boss: I'm going on holiday. I'll leave this to you.
Me: erm ok. I'm having a few problems getting stuff out of the designer though.
*2 weeks later and still no designs*
Boss: I'm back. Where is the progress?!
Me: indeed.
*1 week later i get half designs that sort of make sense*
Boss: hurry up!
*1 week later*
Me: designer you're busting my balls here
Designer: yeah lol
Me to boss: still having problems. No idea what I'm doing.
Boss: deal with it
*2 days later*
PM: we are demoing it to clients tomorrow
Me: brilliant. I'll become a magician then.
* Meeting goes well and no one notices the thing is a bit buggy*
*2 days later*
Me to boss and pm: you already know whats going on but I'll keep trying.
Boss: ok it's just a proof of concept anyway.
Designer: yeah here's the rest of the designs lol
*1 week later, the designs made no sense, no idea what they wanted but hey it's a proof of concept so I'll just do my best...*
*suddenly again, hey you have 1 week before we sell it. Lol. smashes a product together as fast as humanly possible, due to half designs and no time to do it right even html classes and CSS aren't right - didn't know things would be repeated at the time. No time to fix entire thing. Luckily just a proof of concept*
New senior developer: hey boss just said this is being sold tomorrow.
Me: wtf..It's a proof of concept and i was given longer...
New senior developer: no
Me: :(
Senior developer and all colleagues: it's full of bugs and doesn't work
Me: yes that will happen without specs, random tight deadlines, no designs that made sense and a total of about a week and a half to make an entire system for multiple user types to make applications, send messages, post jobs, handle all paperwork and move paperwork among different user types as they go through applications. I told everyone what was going on but i get no support...
*Silence*
Boss: wtf i gave you so long! All i know is my entire staff is working on a product that should be done ages ago
Me: ok, however i have said almost every day i need-
Boss: I'm not interested
*I finish my placement year and never get any promised work or the job offer*
Seems legit?16 -
Boss: I need to know how much resources a server would need to serve 20000 users at the same time
Me: Sure, can I see the webapp?
B: There's not one yet
M: Ok, can I see its documentation then?
B: There is none
M: But ot depends on the programming language, libraries used, what kin-
B: It's an e-commerce. Try browsing Amazon and see how much they nees to handle the page requests.
Me: *still processing* wh-
Boss: I have to give an estimate to a client within 30 minutes. Hurry.
So.... Uh... I guess i have to hack Amazon now?7 -
Manager: Hurry up and login, I don’t have all day
Dev: One sec I have to lookup my password for the system
Manager: How can you not remember your password? Everything requires it these days
Dev: I use a different password for each service.
Manager: Wow you really like to overcomplicate things. Just use the same one for everything like I do, it’s way more efficient!
Dev: …19 -
Mum: Tom time to do something get off your computer
Me: *continues staring at computer*
Mum: Tom?
Me: ...
Mum: TOM
Me: Whaaa? *moves head slightly up but still doesn't take eyes off computer"
Mum: Please get off your computer there's stuff you've gotta do
Me: *finally looking up* OK just let me fix this one thing I'm so close
Mum: fine, 5 mins
*5 mins later:
Mum: come on Tom time to get off
Me: uuuggghhhhhhhh I'm nearly done please
Mum: hurry up
Me: *tries to hurry and finish as to not upset her* please I'm so close
Mum: *furious glance*
Me: *furiouser typing noises and frantic clicking*
Me: *finishes, attempts to run the program*
Program: *runs just fine and problem I was trying to fix was working great*
...
...
*something else breaks*
Me: ok mum please just this one thing
Mum: OFF28 -
Life of a Developer...
Everyone else: HURRY UP!! WE NEED THIS YESTERDAY!! WHATS TAKONG SO F***ING LONG!!
Me: The documentation you have doesn't have all the information which I've repeatedly asked for
Everyone: silence ...5 -
WhatsApp confirmed that ads are coming to the status part of the app!
Fucking finally.
What? Do I like ads? Oh no, I quit WhatsApp when Facebook bought it.
I just know some people who'll leave (mostly for Signal, some for telegram or wire) it the second the ads show up for the first time and I'd love to see people leaving WhatsApp (especially in my country).
Hurry the fuck up with those ads, Facebook!43 -
Just got laid off from full-time salaried position due to various business circumstances. I absolutely loved working there because they paid well, are low demand, they were 100% remote before it was COVID cool, and they didn’t micromanage anyone. Will continue to work for same employer but on hourly work order basis. I’m fighting the “provider” urge to find something else full-time as quickly as possible. My wife, who’s also working part time, says I shouldn’t be in a hurry and take my time to find just the type of job I really want. She’ll even go full-time while I search.
I’m the luckiest unlucky guy.15 -
Education courses nowadays be like,
- Website Development Course @ $49.99
- Security in website Development @ $45.99
Combo offer @ $60.99
=> Hurry up, LIMITED PERIOD OFFER!!!!!
// Like for real??? Why don't you include Security in website Dev course, it's a part of it.9 -
Dev: What do you think of the new version of the app?
Client: It’s great! We just have a couple notes of feedback we are working on compiling. We should have those to you by next week.
*Next week*
Client: We need another week to compile all of this feed back we are generating
*Another week goes by*
Client: Still working on it, it’s going to be a really thorough review when you get it though. No stone will be left unturned!
*2 weeks later*
Client: Here it is!
Attached: A word document with a single line of text “can’t nobody log in” next to a picture of the login screen with a red circle drawn around the login button
Client: Can you hurry up and action our feedback? We want to go live next week
Dev: …9 -
A few of Stux's !dev pet peeves
1) People that walk slow as fuck in the middle of a side walk. Like hurry uppppp. I've gotta get 0.5 miles in like 8 minutes and you blocking the walkway doesn't help.
2) People that don't understand how side walks work. Treat it like the fucking road. ⬇️⬆️ Is the pattern in which you should walk. It's not rocket science.
3) People that start walking up the bus steps as I'm clearly walking forward to get off. Ffs let me off and THEN get on you stupid bitch
4) people that bike or ride their skateboard/longboard around campus but are moving slower than I am while walking. If you're gonna do that hop the fuck off and carry the damn thing.
5) people that don't try to solve an issue with their code on their own BEFORE they call the professor over. (There goes the !dev lol)
6) people that act like their favorite musician or athelete or actor or anyone fucking famous they play kiss ass with can't be criticized. Just bc they're famous and/or good at what they do sure asf doesn't make them perfection and I retain the right to voice my opinion.
My name is Stuxnet and you're watching Disney Channel.12 -
Boss:(pastes a bunch of Python code in Slack)
Boss: Need to convert a long list of ints to a comma separated string. Can you finish it for me? Need it now, I'm in a hurry!!
Me : (Delete all boss's code)
Me : input=[1,2,3,4,5,6,....] output=",".join(str(e) for e in input)
Boss: Damn you! Thanks. Brunch on me today.5 -
I was signing up on Twitch...
I was in a hurry...
Goddamn that CAPTCHA...
After fucktillion attempts...
I came to terms with the fact that I am a robot...7 -
I feel awkward when my boss is creeping behind. Of course, I can switch the screen in a hurry, but such behavior is suspicious, and sometimes I don’t notice him. So, in order to switch the screen without being suspected, I create a system that automatically recognizes that he is approaching to me and hides the screen.
https://github.com/Hironsan/...
Source: http://ahogrammer.com/2016/11/...
6 -
tl;dr I need ideas on how to warn the next dev(s) that the company is a dumpster fire.
------
For the past week (actual time: three days) I've been writing documentation for work, since there isn't any. It's been okay, I guess. Certainly more interesting than anything else I've done at work in months.
I'm up to 10k words / 67kb of markdown, and I think I'm done. I could easily write another 30k words on everything, but I just can't care enough.
However, what I do care about is warning the next dev(s) about how terrible the place is to work, so I want to add little references or hints or other such things to my writing. To complicate that, there's a contractor dev who said he will edit the document to strip out my commentary and make it "friendly" for the next person. (I can kind of see why: I've been quite honest about the situation of everything, and it's pretty dire. If they read it as-is, they might just walk out the door. I certainly would have.) I'm also going to commit it to the repo, and afaik he doesn't have push rights, so he can't force-push and remove it. (and a force-push by someone else, adding my documentation immediately after I leave... that would be pretty fishy, too.)
Anyway, at someone's suggestion, I added a "three envelopes" reference in the access phrase generator section. I also wrote "Promises made outside of ES6 will not resolve" -- in the warning section of a document almost entirely about Rails. (because the boss has broken every single promise he has ever made me.)
What other hints and subtle warnings could I add?
(And hurry: tomorrow is my last day! ;3)16 -
Why are Americans so stupid?
Date format: MM/dd/YY => what is this? It‘s not even in order
Length Units: Inch, Feet, Yard, Mile => good luck trying to convert in in a hurry without a calculator
Cooking recipes: cups, tablespoons, pinches => land of the freedom, especially for measurement errors
Temperature: Fahrenheit. => some dude who thought, „oh this is really hot, lets mark it 100“ and the other day „oh this is really cold, I got the 0 mark, sciene“
Weight: ounces ~ 28.34952 g, ton ~ maybe 907.xx kg, it depends
Time: Americans think the week starts on sunday, so they assume it does so for everyone else (f*** you american developer, designer, I mean you)
Football is football. Everywhere. In. The. World.
Politics: Trump, Weapons, health system, worker rights, ...
God, I hate America and their bs.30 -
So today I decided to switch to angular 4(material) on a project I had done. I have to say I am shocked by the sheer size of the node modules dependencies I have to install. Why wouldn't they just ship it all in one package. 😤 I had to install the client, material SDK, animations etc and all this is happening over shit sub-saharan Africa internet speed. I have been setting up for the past 5 hours and I'm only halfway through. If anyone reading this rant has a company that works to bring internet to Africa please hurry. We need you.
4 -
Friend: Hey can you check my code, can't seen to find this one error, and i have been trying for hours now.
Me: Just one error?
Friend: Ya, just one. And it i am not in a hurry, check it whenever you can.
Me: *understanding the pain of not finding that one fucking error*
Cool, just send me the code i ll check it tonight.
Later that night i check the code, debugg that error, shit ton of more error pop up.
Me: Well i have solved the one error, now i can just hand over the rest of the code to the guy so he can take care of the rest, its not like i am responsible or aything. HOWEVER, maybe i can solve few more, just for fun, i can't just let this code get the better of me.
*ends up clearing all the error after a lomg night*4 -
The 4 stages of collaboration:
- Stage1:
Hey dude, I setup some online docs and left some instructions / discussion points in slack, but you haven't been logged in. Can you login and have a look when you get a chance?
- Stage 2:
Oh Hey, did you ever get a chance to have a look at those docs / discussion points?
- Stage 3:
Hey, look this is due by close of business tomorrow, can you take spend an hour on it before you leave?
- Stage 4:
*loads shotgun* HEY YOU! ... sit here, login to that ..... STOP CRYING AND HURRY UP ..... see that right there? thats missing your input, you have 15 minutes left ... GO!
I'm fast approaching stage 4 and loading my efficiency shotgun as we speak.5 -
Dev: Your PR only addresses a quarter of the ticket
Dev2: *limps a commit so that now 1/2 of the ticket is addressed and creates a new PR for a separate ticket*
Dev: Your original PR only addresses half of the ticket
Dev2: *limps a commit so that now 3/4 of the ticket is addressed and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*
Dev: Your original PR only addresses 3/4 of the ticket
Dev2: *limps a commit so that now all of the ticket is addressed but two new bugs are introduced and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*
Dev: Your original PR introduces 2 new bugs
Dev2: *limps a commit addressing one of the two new bugs and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*
Dev: Your original PR still has one bu—
Manager: WOW GOOD JOB DEV2 THAT’S 5 PRs TODAY AMAZING! Dev you need to pickup the pace, you only have 2 PRs so far today. And get these PRs from Dev2 QA’d fast. He’s a rockstar!
Dev: …
*The 4 other PRs turned out to be equally dogshit*
Manager: Hey hurry up with QA, you’re holding Dev2 back!
Dev: …7 -
Allright, I'm pissed.
Warning: more than 4k characters written by a non native english speaker ahead.
Legend:
Storytelling
> Short summary of the current situation
> "Something being said"
> (Something being thought)
* Actions *
-- Background --
In an attempt to reorganize my desktop I accidentally deleted a folder I called "development". In there I stored links to all my IDEs (Not sure how you call these in english), but also some workspaces like unity (Not much stuff there, processing (just some hobby stuff) AND Eclipse (FUCKING EVERYTHING RELATED TO SCHOOL WEB DEVELOPMENT). Now 3 days have passed and I realized this important folder was missing. Cleared that windows trash the instant I deleted the trash on my desktop.
> Shit, Regret
Install a file restore programm. Do every possible search. Nothing found.
> Big shit
Deadline was in like 3 days. Week was fucking rough so:
> "Screw this, the teacher nevet corrects the assignments and also fuck JSP"
Fast forward 2 months to last week. Teacher starts checking assignments.
> Fuck
* Sees pattern: Only students with missing or bad marks are checked. *
* Feels save *
Teacher approaching me while working on current projects.
* Doesn't feel save anymore *
> "Well, I'ld like to see your THAT programm"
> Well fuck
* Tells the truth *
> "Well that's unfortunate, but I must write a mark. Do you really have nothing to show?"
* Remember that I worked on the school pcs when I started *
> (Better than nothing. Gotta try it)
* Teacher checks programm, not pleased *
> (Fuck me, but at least it's over...)
> Nope
* Teacher calls me over *
> "With the mark I had to write today you can't reach that good mark even with a good examination, what are we gonna do about this?"
> "Well, there were other assignments that were never checked. Could we replace that mark with one of those?"
* Teacher agrees *
> (Srly bless this guy for that support)
My best choice was an Android app we had to develop during December in pairs. I did the front end (90% of the whole work) and my partner the backend (10 %). I also did 30 % of these 10 %, because I had to review the shit he wasn't able to debug himself.
> brainlogic.exe provided by windows vista
This distribution was partly my fault since I overestimated the work needed for the backend, but also the fault of that fucker. I mean, he didn't tell me the professor already provided 90 % of the backend...
Rest of the week was really busy (always 1 or 2 things to study for each day, workout and family stuff).
Yesterday (It's past 12 already) I arrived at ~9 pm in the dorm I could finally start reviewing my code.
Internet gets shut down at 10 pm.
Gotta hurry.
* Opens project *
* Sees half a year old code *
* Fights urge to puke *
> (Alright I gotta do this. For the mark!)
* waits for gradle to index files *
* Remembers the fact that I haven't opened Android Studio in the last 2 months *
For those who don't develop with android studio: This is an equivalent to ~10k windows updates waiting to be installed
> (Well, gotta work with this kinda old version)
"gradle sync failed"
> ( Ok, just restart it. You're fine )
* Android Studio doesn't react anymore and/or renders *
* Waits 5 min *
* Restarts laptop *
* Android Studio is reacting again*
"gradle is synching"
9:45 pm: gradle is done and I can finally compile my app
> FML
* Sees App launched on phone *
* Almost pukes again *
> (This was the assigment for the UX chapter, so design doesn't matter)
UX is decent. Proceeds with testing stuff. Save paths work, but some bugs can be caused by going of it
* fixes as much as possible *
* Takes quick look at backend *
Date date = new Date (GregorianCalender.getInstance().getTimeInMillis());
C'mon, I asked you to be the backend. You got 90% of the methods already written by the teacher and had 2 months to write the interfaces to my Front end AND you come up with shits like that.
Note: this example is a minor example of brainlogic.exe
I did what I could to make improve my situation. Hopefully he doesn't discover the bugs. And If it's a backend bug then I could't care less, since that was not my job!
Wish me luck for today!9 -
That moment, when you're on a hurry and hit "update now" by mistake. Been 45 minutes staring at the screen
19 -
Stop fooling yourself by thinking that the hurry & pressure will eventually go away if you work overtime & stretch yourself to heroics weekly. They won't, and they never will (and even shouldn't). Focus on building sustainable habits that propel you towards your goals day by day, and don't give up until you're where you want to be. Period.2
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When you learn your project will be launched Monday in an email sent to the whole company, just before the weekend...
I'm not even kidding. No one on our team was consulted if the app was ready or not.
There was no infrastructure in place to even deploy the app. Everything had to be done in a hurry over the weekend to deploy something half baked, thanks to that idiot project manager who told his boss everything was ready.
Two colleagues ended up doing this work over the weekend, but looking back, if I was the one having to get something deployed over the weekend, I would have just refused and come back to work as usual on Monday and watch that idiot explain why it's not live. -
I was checking an Arduino sketch I wrote in a hurry 2 years ago. I want to cry for the number of shit I've found there 😓
Picture + I had put as int variables that should have been boolean. I needed them for 0 and 1. As well as with no comments and no explicative names.
13 -
While I am in cafeteria and drinking coffee I got a great app idea, hurry quickly home and going to sleep.6
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Do not hire a team of full stack developers such that the entire teams' core competency is back-end development and then wonder why they can't hurry the fuck up to design and build usable, device-friendly interfaces.
Hire a damned front-end dev.1 -
Me and some of my friends used to crack programming jokes and ranting about jobs/software engineering etc. Other people used to get irritated by that, even s/w enggs. When I found devRant, I felt like those girls from Avicii's song "Wake me up".
I shared devRant with my friends and said "Guys, we found our people. Hurry!!" 😍😍😎😎😂😂2 -
Want a backend in Node? You got it. PhP using the plethora of frameworks available? No problem.
Feeling like a gipsy guitarrist and want to lay it down with Django? Good taste!
In a hurry and need your startup off the ground with React integration in rails? Piece of cake.
Feeling springy and want you some coffee and Java with your app? A la carte.
Wanna pull my leg and force me to do .net? Mm ok if you insist.
You sure you want Perl with that? Ok no problem.
.....but you sit me and my awesome powers of backend mastery and force me to do css and design all week and you literally destroy my soul......this shit is soul crushing I swear.....7 -
So my friend was in a hurry when she was setting up the passocde for her phone and later she forgot the code.
So she takes it to the service center.
SC guy: Ma'am we have to do bla bla bla. And you will lose your data. It will cost you around $10.
She just came back and later gave me the phone.
*unlocks bootloader *
*flashes a custom recovery*
*delete passcode file*
Phone is now unlocked with all the data intact.
PS: I got a small treat at McDonald's. 😋6 -
Friday: Finally the week end. I haven't seen my family all week.
Sunday: Hurry up Monday! Get me away from these people. I need to program.1 -
"Server deployment is automated from git, so dont merge things into the master branch without permission"
Oh ok
>i create new branch
>push unfinished code because i gotta hurry
>server breaks
Well golly gee seems like you did a shit job at automating7 -
This big multi-million consulting company hired me as freelance. They did it in a hurry, because "the project already started, it is a very important client (a bank) and we need your expertise by YESTERDAY".
In the first THREE WEEKS I had meetings with their own project managers, their client's project managers, techies, sales people. No one was able to tell me what do I have to do, but:
1 - they asked me for very detailed estimates plus a release plan
2 - f**k your estimates, we need this BY JANUARY 16th5 -
Ubutu's organization is so slow in the Code-in contest.
I mean, I've been waiting for 17 hours and they still didn't accept or decline my submission for the second task.
I can't claim another task until they accept this... Plus, my goal is to be one of the finalists, so if they don't hurry up then it won't happen.11 -
Two days ago...
I was happy, building out the network in a new lokation.
Suddenly my phone just doesn't want to stop ringing, from all the other lokation calling in that they can't connect to HQ.
Then HQ calls, we don't have internet, nothing works. The one guy on location who has access to the server room enters and finds all the servers offline and a couple of breakers blown.
Turn on breakers, servers won't boot properly.
Me in a taxi and hurry to HQ, to help boot the servers.
Afterwards I find out that one of the bosses spilled a cup of coffee on his desk, shorting the circuit.
Apparently he is on the same breaker group as the servers!?! What the actual fuck!
At least now the other bosses are like; yeah, we need to do something about that2 -
Yeah boss, lets study Scrum extensively so you can:
- Create variable length sprints
- User stories that are meaningless like 'fixes'
- Tasks that should be User Stories
- Duplicated tasks/stories that are on the fucking backlog already
- Cross sprints on projects
- No meetings at fucking all to determine who will do what
- Assign people on vacation to current sprints
The list goes on...
An when I point things like that out lets just look at the guy who spent 6 months studying this shit, taught you ( at least tried... ) as if he is saying nonsense while our projects get delayed and our code spaghettifies because we are always in a hurry for lack of time to plan anything :)2 -
Oh dear, I'd better hurry and click that big red convenient button! After all, it's an account registered using my work email. I can't let it expire!
6 -
Been a while but I'm back with fresh rants.
If you look in my history you will see support wanted us devs to start paying for writing bugs. Now the release presentation has passed but we're still in crunch time because we can't put clients onto the new version yet. And in the meantime our coffee machine broke. So support has started to manually pour coffee, which was actual real nice of them.
Now yesterday I'm in a hurry and the coffee is out so I decide to pour a quick cup for myself with the leftover grounds. When I'm back at my desk I get a call asking if I just made coffee. I'm like yeah something wrong? Proceed to get chewed out for being selfish and that they see how it is with me, then get hung up on before I can even explain.
So yeah not only is my company too cheap to get a new machine, the lack of one causes drama.
Today however our network guy, who was present when my colleagues asked what was with the weird phone call, brought in his own machine and let me have coffee from it. Meanwhile suport can keep their crappy manual pouring. And I don't need to go into their office anymore.3 -
Woke up from my sleep last night because the solution for a long running bug hit me. In a hurry I ran to my work-desk not too far from the bed and flipped open my laptop so hard I broke the screen.
I’ve sent the laptop for repair but my night was so long I didn’t want to get off because previously I only had one problem but then it doubled.2 -
Not dev related.
I have only traveled to the places the Army send me to.
I didn't wanted to go to those places.
But there are a group of countries I have been dreaming of visiting them since I was a child. One is Spain. I would kill to go to Spain and see many of the landmarks that exist in that gorgeous country.
The other, is France. And one landmark that I always wanted to see was the cathedral of Notre Dame. Now, the reports I have seen regarding this make me believe that it can be restored, since the central spire that was not saved had already been added during a restoration project some time ago. The entire wooden interior? Lost. Bell towers are good and a couple of other things as well. I have mad respect for French people, and know they will need to do whatever it takes to get this done, and French business magnates have already started pledging to rebuild.
What pains me is that it will not be the same, and I feel time coming down on me as the places I dream of visiting face the possibility of similar tragedies happening to them.
I guess I have to hurry up.6 -
Consumers ruined software development and we the developers have little to no chance of changing it.
Recently I read a great blog post by someone called Nikita, the blog post talks mostly about the lack of efficiency and waste of resources modern software has and even tho I agree with the sentiment I don't agree with some things.
First of all the way the author compares software engineering to mechanical, civil and aeroespacial engineering is flawed, why? Because they all directly impact the average consumer more than laggy chrome.
Do you know why car engines have reached such high efficiency numbers? Gas prices keep increasing, why is building a skyscraper better, cheaper and safer than before? Consumers want cheaper and safer buildings, why are airplanes so carefully engineered? Consumers want safer and cheaper flights.
Wanna know what the average software consumer wants? Shiny "beautiful" software that is either dirt ship or free and does what it needs to. The difference between our end product is that average consumers DON'T see the end product, they just experience the light, intuitive experience we are demanded to provide! It's not for nothing that the stereotype of "wizard" still exists, for the average folk magic and electricity makes their devices function and we are to blame, we did our jobs TOO well!
Don't get me wrong, I am about to become a software engineer and efficient, elegant, quality code is the second best eye candy next to a 21yo LA model. BUT dirt cheap software doesn't mean quality software, software developed in a hurry is not quality software and that's what douchebag bosses and consumers demand! They want it cheap, they want it shiny and they wanted it yesterday!
Just look at where the actual effort is going, devs focus on delivering half baked solutions on time just to "harden" the software later and I don't blame them, complete, quality, efficient solutions take time and effort and that costs money, money companies and users don't want to invest most of the time. Who gets to worry about efficiency and ms speed gains? Big ass companies where every second counts because it directly affects their bottom line.
People don't give a shit and it sucks but they forfeit the right to complain the moment they start screaming about the buttons not glaring when hovered upon rather than the 60sec bootup, actual efforts to make quality software are made on people's own time or time critical projects.
You put up a nice example with the python tweet snippet, you have a python script that runs everyday and takes 1.6 seconds, what if I told you I'll pay you 50 cents for you to translate it to Rust and it takes you 6 hours or better what if you do it for free?
The answer to that sort of questions is given every day when "enganeers" across the lake claim to make you an Uber app for 100 bucks in 5 days, people just don't care, we do and that's why developers often end up with the fancy stuff and creating startups from the ground up, they put in the effort and they are compensated for it.
I agree things will get better, things are getting better and we are working to make programs and systems more efficient (specially in the Open Source community or high end Tech companies) but unless consumers and university teachers change their mindset not much can be done about the regular folk.
For now my mother doesn't care if her Android phone takes too much time to turn on as long as it runs Candy Crush just fine. On my part I'll keep programming the best I can, optimizing the best I can for my own projects and others because that's just how I roll, but if I'm hungry I won't hesitate to give you the performance you pay for.
Source:
http://tonsky.me/blog/...
13 -
Oh GODDAMIT Nexus!!!
You gotta love it when you're in a hurry, unlock the fucking phone while it is plugged in to the goddamn charger, and the bloody thing just fucking shuts down because the battery is apparently empty. WHEN YOU HAVE A FUCKING 15 WATT CHARGING CABLE STUFFED UP YOUR BUTT?!!
You know Google, if I wanted an iPhone battery with tons of little "features", don't you think that I would've bought a fucking iPhone?!3 -
Boss:
Here's an email from a customer who has a report that isn't showing the right data.
It pulls from one application that we've never heard of, and communicates with another application that we've never heard of.
The customer fired their IT team years ago, and can't get in touch with them anymore.
You're a programmer, so we're giving you access to their network so you can fix it.
Please hurry.2 -
OK. A friend asked me how I found devRant. Let me tell the story.
I was solving a google code-jam problem. I was in hurry and I missed an intent. I was short in time and the error drove me crazy. so I opened a tab, typed: "fuck python" and the magic happened. The first result was a rant from devRant.12 -
"Yeah, I got your e-mail, I see the subject. Oh no, dude, it says urgent so it went straight to the URGENT queue. Yeah? Ah. Sure, I'll get to it as soon as I get through the ASAP, NOW and YESTERDAY queues. Well, if you wanted me to read it right away you should've say there's NO HURRY - I read only one no-hurry e-mail a day but there's currently 0 tasks on that queue."
-
My old job was great. I was writing automation software for one of the world's biggest storage deployments, and there was always a new challenge. But over time, I was asked to lend a hand with the tedious task of corresponding with procurement vendors and on-site technicians. At first it was one site, then it was two, and then it was an entire region of the US, spread across two time zones I'm not in.
I hated that work, and I found that I didn't have time anymore for software development, because of the time commitment the logistics work was. I was never hired to do logistics work, I was never trained, never qualified, and as I said, I hated it. I agreed to it to temporarily help out a weakness due to a shortage in staffing. But it never got taken off my plate, except for a short stint toward the end, just before I was placed on a PIP, because surprise surprise-- I'm bad at logistics.
About halfway through the PIP, I told my boss I wasn't doing it anymore. I said he could either put me back on software development or let me go, if ticket-monkeying and phone calls is the direction the wind is blowing for our team. I told him I had no intention of resigning, as you are not eligible for unemployment or severance if you resign, so their choice was to let me go. I'm told by people who are still there that everybody on the team is a ticket-jockey button-pusher now. Bleh.
My wife and I sold our old condo in Kansas City earlier in the summer, so we had about a year's worth of cushion, which was why I was willing to be let go. I was profoundly unhappy in my work, and it was bleeding through to my relationship with my wife and kids. So I took advantage of the time between jobs by spending more time with my family and just generally becoming a happier person again.
Meanwhile, I was in no desperate hurry to find a new job, so I got on linkedin, and had no more than two irons in the fire at a time. After just over two months I got an offer for a better job than before, which I accepted. There wasn't anything remarkable about that process though-- it's just something I've gone through recently.8 -
Day #128: Visual studio 2015 is still installing... Can't wait for gamemaker to support Visual Studio 2017 for UWP...
Day #129: Just finished the first of 4 windows SDK's to install... things are looking up...
2 -
Ok so to recap, we had shit beginning. We couldn't find client like 3 months and thank god that we agreed that we don't register the firm right away. If we did we would be broke a long time ago.
We found first client and he wanted to build some scrapers with gui. So me being BackEnd developer I created API for scraping (boredom) and my friend created website for that api and I just created gui that displays that site. The project was about 1200$. And since there are 3 of us we splited it into 3x400$.
After that it was again really hard to find clients again. We thought of quitting and just going to uni or something but we really didn't want to and anyways we needed to get money for uni ourselfs if we wanted to go.
So we said that as we are not paying anything and not losing money we will continue as long as we can.
And after we managed to get a hold of it and now we have 2 clients and after we finish them we have 2 more.
So I think the most important thing is that you help your coworkers. My friend who finds clients had a rough time at the beggining as I mentioned. So all 3 of us got together and started spamming people for few weeks. That's how we found our first client.
So now we are running. Not a milion dollar company but we are happy that we are doing what we love and that we have money doing it. We aim higher but we don't want to hurry and screw things up as we are young still.
Also thank you for getting interested after 300 days :)11 -
spotted a huge bug 2 days before launch. My boss was panicking and he asked. "how long more you need?!" I look at him and almost said "Don't rush art" then I swallow my saliva and said "give me 2 hours" he said ok hurry up.
yea 2 hours after i find out what went wrong2 -
Look, I get that it's really tricky to assess whether someone is or isn't skilled going solely by their profile.
That's alright.
What isn't center of the cosmic rectum alright with the fucking buttsauce infested state of interviews is that you give me the most far fetched and convoluted nonsense to solve and then put me on a fucking timer.
And since there isn't a human being on the other side, I can't even ask for clarification nor walk them through my reasoning. No, eat shit you cunt juice swallowing mother fucker, anal annhilation on your whole family with a black cock stretching from Zimbabwe to Singapore, we don't care about this "reasoning" you speak of. Fuck that shit! We just hang out here, handing out tricks in the back alley and smoking opium with vietnamese prostitutes, up your fucking ass with reason.
Let me tell you something mister, I'm gonna shove a LITERAL TON of putrid gorilla SHIT down your whore mouth then cum all over your face and tits, let's see how you like THAT.
Cherry on top: by the time I began figuring out where my initial approach was wrong, it was too late. Get that? L'esprit d'escalier, bitch. I began to understand the problem AFTER the timer was up. I could solve it now, except it wouldn't do me any fucking good.
The problem? Locate the topmost 2x2 block inside a matrix whose values fall within a particular range. It's easy! But if you don't explain it properly, I have to sit down re-reading the description and think about what the actual fuck is this cancerous liquid queef that just got forcefully injected into my eyes.
But since I can't spend too much time trying to comperfukenhend this two dollar handjob of a task, which I'd rather swap for teabagging a hairy ass herpes testicle sack, there's rushing in to try and make sense of this shit as I type.
So I'm about 10 minutes down or so already, 35 to go. I finally decipher that I should get the XY coords of each element within the specified range, then we'll walk an array of those coordinates and check for adjacency. Easy! Done, and done.
Another 10 minutes down, all checks in place. TEST. Wait, wat? Where's the output? WHERE. THE FUCK. IS. THE OUTPUT?! BITCH GIMME AN ANSWER. I COUT'D THE RETURN AND CAN SEE THE TERMINAL BUT ITS NOT SHOWING ME ANYTHINGGG?! UUUGHHH FUCKKFKFKFKFKFKFKFUFUFUFFKFK (...)
Alright, we have about 20 minutes left to finish this motorsaw colonoscopy, and I can't see what my code is outputting so I'm walking through the code myself trying to figure out if this will work. Oh, look at that I have to MANUALLY click this fucking misaligned text that says "clear" in order for any new output to register. Lovely, 10/10 web design, I will violate your armpits with an octopus soaked in rabid bear piss.
Mmmh, looks like I got this wrong. Figures. I'm building the array of coordinates sequentially, as a one dimentional list, which is very inconvenient for finding adjacent elements. No problem, let's try and fix that aaaaaand... SHIT IM ALMOST OUT OF TIME.
QUICK LYEB, QUICK!! REMEMBER WHAT FISCELLA TAUGHT YOU, IN BETWEEN MOLESTING YOUR SOUL WITH 16-BIT I/O CONSOLE PROBLEMS, LIKE THAT BITCH SNOWFALL THING YOU HAD TO SOLVE FOR A FRIEND USING TURBO C ON A FUCKING TOASTER IN COMPUTER LAB! RUN MOTHERFUCKER RUN!!!
I'm SWEATING. HEAVILY. I'm STEAMING, NON-EROTICALLY. Less than 10 minutes left. I'm trying to correct the code I have, but I start making MORE dumbfuck mistakes because I'm in a hurry!
5 minutes left. As I hit this point of no return, I realize exactly where my initial reasoning went wrong, and how I could fix it, but I can't because I don't have enough time. Sadface.
So I hastily put together skeleton of the correct implementation, and as the clock is nearly up, I write a comment explaining the bits I can't get to write. Page up, top of file, type "the editor was shit LMAO" and comment it out. SUBMIT.
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Also hi ;>5 -
This is PART 1/2 of a series of rants over the course of a software engineering class years ago.
We were four team members, two had never failed a class, I’ll refer to them as MT and FT, male and female top students, respectively, and an older student with some real world experience who I’ll refer to as SR.
Rant 1: As I was familiar with the agile methodologies I became the Scrum Master and was set with the task of explaining it to the team members, SR showed up late and nobody seemed interested in learning new methodology. At this point I knew we'd have trouble as a team.
Rant 2: FT made up her project proposal without informing anybody, which required a real client/product owner. We only figured it out after her proposal was accepted as the project, so we ended up working with fake requirements.
Rant 3: This one is partly my fault. I researched first and then worked, which meant I was the last to turn up my work. In one activity MT pressures me and I agree to a deadline so everyone can send their work to the teacher in a timely manner. Since I was the last to finish, I was also asked to give the doc some formatting, which I did in a hurry so it wasn't the best.
The next day MT and FT start complaining about me, saying I took too long and that they expect me to do better next time or else. At the same time they were stressed and in a hurry because we had to explain the project outline in front of the class and they didn't study.
Turns out copying and pasting all your work in less than an hour means you don’t learn anything. FT actually asked me for help days before and I sent her a website in English, which she wasn't very good at, so she just ran it through Google Translate and called it a day.
Later FT called me rude for interrupting MT in the presentation, which I did because he started making up stuff about the project.
Rant 4: SR expressed his dislike for school through profanity in variable names and commit messages. This caused MT and FT to dislike him. I thought it was immature but if anything it should’ve been reported to the teacher and move on.
Rant 5: I was stuck trying to get the REST API working for the project Admittedly this was my fault, too, because I was pushing for the usage of things nobody was familiar with for the sake of learning. This coupled with SR’s profanity led to drama and the progress was dropped, starting over from scratch.
At this point I stepped down from the Scrum Master role as nobody seemed to listen anymore.4 -
Once we got an urgent requirement to add double hashing the password in a web application. It had to go to the production ASAP. The developer which was working on it, added 2 alerts in Javascript to display entered password and encrypted password. Finally change was ready to deploy but in hurry she forgot to remove the alerts. In rush and excitement, that change was shipped to the production. The alert says 'your password is 123', 'your password is xyz'.
After some time got phone calls from users and manager. Manager said, 'how the hell our application got HACKED? If anything happens to..........'. To cut it short, he was furious. We knew exact reason and solution. Didn't take couple of minutes to resolve this issue.
But it was funny mistake and that released that days pressure off.2 -
AI is the future, and it's a future I want to be part of.
This week was very stressful, beside my usual depression and personal issues, I've received a lot of difficult tasks at work, to do in a very short amount of time.
Things I never did, tecnologies I've never used, and for a potential client that is critical for the company at this period in time, and if we won't be able to satisfy their requests we could go bankrupt really soon.
A lot of responsibility, almost no time and a person not competent enough to do it (me), especially on a hurry.
I couldn't sleep in these days, I couldn't think peacefully, concentrate to find the best solutions. I had really bad thoughts.
I couldn't find any useful solution online, on stackoverflow, forums, etc. and I spent hours searching them.
For who knows me here on devRant, probably knows also that I tend to work with old legacy code and dead languages as VB6 and VB.NET.
So integrate "new fancy stuff" isn't that easy and there are no documentation and examples to relay on.
I had fear to even try to understand the documentation (for other languages) and try to write code for it… I was panicking.
With no more ideas, I've decided to try to ask ChatGPT for help.
In maybe 3 or 5 seconds it was able to generate the solution, in VB.NET, with comments and all the explanation needed to understand it and integrate it correctly in my software.
With a few other requests it was able to change it to make it fit better my scenarios.
It's truely unbelivable how the tecnology advanced in the last years, how a computer on the other side is able to reply to my questions with answers that I couldn't find anywhere, because they probably never existed for my case, in VB.NET especially.
ChatGPT made my day, and allowed me to end this stressful moment and give me time to relax and focus on more important personal stuff this weekend.5 -
Currently our companies website is being attacked and we're getting a 500 error and the FTP servers are down. Everyone is panicking. Little do they know that I just rebooted the server and already sent out a notice of this happening and will be back online. People are chanting for my death outside my cubical with fire and pitch forks. HURRY UP AND FINISH REBOOTING SERVER!!!1!!2
-
I may have over delivered my service to this first customer i got.
It doesn't help that pricing was dirt cheap and i over promised in a bid to make it attractive.
But in my hurry to please the client, I've been feeling so much stress since last 24 hrs. Dealing with customers suck. I hate this.
They can be little dumb and doesn't think much before blaming you if something's not working as expected.
I hate this feeling and now i remember why my initial business model was designed such that I wouldn't have to deal with clients.
But somewhere along the way, i forgot about that. :/
I wish I could get rid of this customer.3 -
Sometime ago I was introduced to that game "Stardew Valley", as a way to relax and unwind since it is a dynamic-pace simple-storyline and even simpler interactivity open world.
Well, it worked like a charm (sarcasm). I have a save where I am a profit-maxinizing capitalist who tries to score a million gp in an year - so a regular gamer approach. It wasn't the goal here.
So I got a second save where I just go along, getting enough to get by and no hurry to build farm buildings and whatnot, but slowly building up NPC relationships.
Man, what a good metaphor for life. That approach actually unwinds me.
But the dev in me is just like "just, woah! that is an stellar use case for GPT+3 APIs! You could have NPCs with dynamic adaptative dialog! *And* you can monetize it (piracy-proof!) by charging for API calls! No shops, no collectibles, just a unique but scalable experience!"
What is wrong with me? I gotta change into the second-save mindset...5 -
Got a new iPhone X. Had to set up as a new phone because my old one had beta software on it and wouldn’t let me restore from backup (yes, I know I could download the new iOS beta on the X then reset and store from backup but I was in a hurry) but in doing so it gave me the chance to rearrange my home screen and devRant made it on the first page!
8 -
Here we go again. Months have passed since this client first wanted their website launched. But because they were suddenly and inexplicably in no real hurry to make it go live, we are now waiting for them to get back to us on whether to push to Production. Meanwhile, I have bills to pay and as soon as I told them I need the check by no later than April 1st, everyone over there is no longer answering phone calls or emails. Voicemail box is full and not accepting any more messages.
I think this would be the part where I call "Big Nick" and ask him to pay them a little "visit". If I knew someone like that.2 -
A developer said to me: developers may hurry to finish the project before deadline that they might miss many security bugs specially in the updates. That a creative hacker will later take his time and exploit them.
Is it correct ?3 -
my day went to shit immediately... long night, got to sleep at 4AM, poked awake at 8AM, "hey wake up we gotta go to a town 200 miles away, dress like you're rich, we gotta go find a place to live for my new job" ugh, fine, got another 30 minutes or so of sleep in the car. We get there, the guy shows us a place that I physically can't fully stand up in and is like 600-some square feet for $750/month. Fuck that. We get halfway back home, "hey i forgot, we just finished renovating a new unit, come look!" goddammit gotta go BACK to the city... get there, it's a 2-floor 1200 square foot place for $675, a hell of a lot better. We leave to go see relatives in town, get a call, "hey hurry home your grandfather's hallucinating" we get there before an ambulance (we traveled 120 miles in less time than an ambulance took to drive 50 miles...) and my grandfather's hauled (by us, as the ambulance refuses to take him to the right hospital, they want to take him OUT OF STATE in an ambulance and he's not actively dying) to the VA in the city we were just in... he's immediately screened and his dementia has progressed to the point he needs to be in a nursing home in 12 hours somehow. I have no idea either. Anyways, we're about 3/4 of the way back home and it's now 2:40AM. My dad's been driving for 18 hours pretty much straight. I'm still awake, he's wired (the worst possible state to be in while driving) and family drama has happened as family members are already trying to take the land my grandpa lived on AND HE'S LITERALLY ONLY BEEN GONE FOR 6 HOURS.
so how was your day?7 -
Ugh been waiting a week already for my domain to transfer to google domains... HURRY UUUUUUUUUUUP!3
-
TLDR boss is an idiot.
Boss has an issue. Sends screenshot, and a one sentence explanation, boss-style (not really clear, but the screenshot helps).
I set to solve it, not a minute passes, the boss os calling.
Explains the issue, i tell him I'm working on it, will msg when done. He explains the problem again, and tells me to hurry. I tell him, sure, let's hang up, give me five minutes, so he starts explaining again, that it's IMPORTANT.
Finally hangs up, it didn't take more than 3 minutes to solve it, msg him, it's done. test it, screenshots for the two parts i solved (of the one he wanted corrected and one where a similar case is still as it's supposed to be, not altered).
He calls me, I start telling him this us what I did, the screenshot.... *Interrups*
This is not what he needed, it's important, IMPORTANT i say, and tells the problem again.
I'm pretty annoyed by now, and just calm fuckoff mood comes over. I practically told him to click the link and see for himself....
if you want to take 10 minutes for something i would explain in 2 sentences, is it really that important....6 -
I will be there at the same time I don't have a car so I can get a ride to the airport on Friday and I will be there at the same time I don't have a car so I can get a ride to the airport on Friday and I will be there at the same time I don't have a car so I can get my car out the time to do it again and I look forward to hearing from you in awhile I have a few questions about the other I have a few questions about the same as the other day I will have a talk at you and I hope to see everyone again and again I apologise I didn't get a response to your advertisement for a while but it is a little chilly here is a copy to the store to buy the car is in a good way to start a little more time with the family for a while but it is a little chilly here is a copy to the time of the year for the first time in a long time and I don't want it for a couple days so I'm just trying for you guys I just want a ride with us to get a few things done and I will be there at the end if this works out well for you and your family a very happy and excited about this weekend so I'm just going to go to the store and get back with me and my family is going to be a little late today but I'm still in my car and I will be there at like midnight so much and have to be at work at the moment but I'll try again later in life I have been trying to get a hold of the guy that I have a meeting with you to discuss the details of the job and I have been working in my room so I can get a ride to the airport on Sunday so we are all on my own and I will be there at noon so I'll just be me my money back and I will get it done this weekend but I will be there at the same time and where would we have been in the hospital for a week or two to see you soon and have a great day today love it and it will not work for me to come in and get a new phone or in person and I am not sure how long it would have taken it off and on again and again I apologise I didn't know you were going to be a little late to the game and it will not work on it this morning I was wondering if you had a choice but I don't know if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at any rate is higher up for it and the other is a good time to come in for an appointment with the surgeon on my phone and I don't want to be a good friend to come in at all and the other is a good time to call and talk about what we can do to help you feel better I can come by to pick up the kids from school today so I'm not going anywhere for the next few days and I have a few more days before we get into my car to go out for lunch at home and I will be there at the same time as you can imagine how hard is it to late to get a new car is a lot more done with the interview and the kids will have a good day at school today so I'm not going anywhere for the next two days so we are all on my way home from the gym and then I will be able to make it today because I'm a very nice person who can do it for you if you want to come by and see you soon and have to go back in the office tomorrow morning at work today but I'm going back and I will be there at the same time and where would we have been trying all of us and the rest are you still interested I can send you a picture of the front and back of the house and the kids are going well with the family for a while but it is a little chilly here is a picture of the front and back of the house is in my prayers as a friend but it will have a great weekend and I will be there at the end if this works out well and that your mom and dad are going to be a bit of an emergency at least you have a good day at school today so I'm going to be in the office tomorrow and will be back to the hotel now I'm in bed with a friend and then I will be able to make it to the meeting tonight but I will be there at the same time I was in a hurry and come to the office and I will send the other side and a little about me and you will see that you sent it out and get a good deal and you have the address of where I can get a ride to work on it this week but will have a good day at school today so I'm not going anywhere for the next two days so we are going to be in the office tomorrow and I have been working in the morning and I will get it done this weekend but will be back in the office on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday are going well for you and your wife is not the case then you have the address of your day goes on and I have been working in the morning and I will be there at the same time I am in need and I'll see what the status is on the way to the airport and then we will have a great day at school today so I'm trying to get a hold of the guy who was the guy who was the guy who is going well and I am going to be out by then but if I can find a way to get the car out the door to go to the store and I have to be in a relationship with a friend and then I will be able to make it to the meeting and will get the info for the guy who was the guys are doing the meeting at the church16
-
So it's 2018 and i am wondering is there a:
Laptop with at least 16go of ram that can last AT LEAST 24 hours ?
Tasks involved:
Running vms
Ide
Browser
Work related stuff
No Apple products please
Thanks!
Ps: i already got a couple of laptops so i am not in a hurry i am more looking for something that i can carry around while traveling in a lightweight manner11 -
“We are on a hurry, let’s fix in production, then you can write the fix in the repo.” (Multiple times)
Guess why we are always on a hurry…3 -
I've got an email with this statement:
[...] If you are interested please reply with the following details if possible in an hour [...]
Defuq with those people 😑4 -
Every fucking time I explain why we should do things according to X and instead of giving arguments I'm only presented with "that won't work here" ...
Every time we are on a hurry because we don't do X ...
Every time we are delayed because we don't do X ...
I get less and less motivated to be here...
Soon they won't hear me saying anything and will keep wondering why everything just melted after I left...2 -
Don't you love working out a piece of code in your head that's been troubling you for ages but you can't test it because your at work... It's horrible.
Tempted to whip out vs code and just quickly test my theory in JS...2 -
Go to meetups and talk to people. Give presentations at meetups if you can. Get involved in community projects. Love coding. Use your downtime to study new stuff.
When talking to potential employers be positive and enthusiastic about your technology.
EDIT: Oh, a few more. Don't seem desperate for a job. Without saying anything, potential employers should feel like you have other offers and they're being evaluated by you. Ask questions about their company if you get an interview.
Try to give off an air of being in control and having a number of choices in your carreer (even if you're living off ramen every day).
The pressure should be on companies to hurry up and snap you up before another company does.
Be honest but a little spin won't hurt. -
Out of nowhere, someone called me from a jobs board and said that they really liked my profile and that they sent me a job invite and they were in a hurry to get someone new - with my profile exactly. I haven't logged into that jobs board for a couple months, but upon checking, I see that their company sent me an invite and that the working environment was great. Remote first, no daily standups, competitive pay, and the site was legit. So okay, I accept their invite.
The next day I got an email back saying unfortunately they would close the application because they were only hiring people with a couple years experience in some tech... which was listed in my profile in the jobs board.
I'm like lolwut you invited me, don't you turn that around like I'm begging you for a job.4 -
PO: "Hurry the fuck up!"
me: "Well I'm sorry but no amount of wanting will speed up development. Development is complicated. Understand that".
Non-techies are super irritating.2 -
So, I go to set up my avatar.
And no option for white hair!
Please hurry and add the option while I still have some left!5 -
Just came up with something inspired by @librarycomic for use at the very start of every meeting with the customer.
"You have the right to remain silent. Any ridiculous specs or illogical features that you say can and will be laughed at in the back project office room.
Any real questions you ask will be answered to the best of our ability, as long as they don't violate privacy or the law or the internet.
You have the right to be in a hurry or tighten the deadline, but not to expect that it will cost the project any less.
With these rights in mind, let us begin our progress meeting. On to you."
Feel free to fork and contribute! :D -
Boss told me that we need to hurry up to have a few new features ready on the app that he would mail me with all the details.
A week has gone by and I'm still waiting for that e-mail. -
I ranted about it already.
```c++
if (vec.size() > 0) { // or whatever
cout << vec.size();
// ....
}
```
Its output was zero. And before you ask, it was a single thread program.
Aince it was for my thesis and I was in a hurry I didn't care too much for it.
Yet I think that it was a bug in clang. I removed that piece of code, compiled, rewritten it a bit differently and worked as expected. Never looked back.9 -
My biggest dev epiphany was also my dumbest one. We were working on a payment system for a roadside rescue company where an employee would register payments "in the field".
The challenge was automating input with typeahead and autocompletes in order to lessen the workload as manual input had to be an absolute minimum; this will be used by truck drivers/mechanics as they are trying to hurry to the next customer who has been waiting for 3 hours longer than we said we'd take.
We managed to make the invoice path first (customer has not paid, employee logs personalia needed for billing), but when it came to "paid on site" we almost upended the entire system trying to find a way to fetch user personalia outside of the invoice path.
Neither of us realized it during the days we were banging our heads against it. Realizing we don't need to make an invoice for a job that has been paid for was equal parts relief and utter embarrassment.
Probably my greatest lesson in how important it is to pull my head out of the code once in a while, and to ask myself what I'm trying to do and why. -
Been using Linux for about a year, now starting to customise it. Since it's full of Gnome garbage, I'll test out everything and then do a fresh install. Deadline is September 3rd, if it does not work fast and reliably till then I'll have to get Gnome because I need it for school.
Let the race begin.1 -
Why do people hate jQuery so much? 30KB is basically nothing in times of modern bandwidth and for me CSS selectors are mich more readable than the Vanilla JS functions.
Im not judging and would be happy if someone explains it to me or shows better alternatives.4 -
My team lead at my summer internship hailed from an MFC background.
I was able to dictate a whole block of jQuery code to her orally while I was in a hurry to go for lunch, and she typed it in. And it ran perfectly in the first time itself.
jQuery isn't a great deal, but it was a confidence booster for a guy who had only worked with JS for a week. -
Fuck you windows!!!
I had to leave town but wanted some surveillance and had no cctv or ip camera set up. So I added my laptop to teamviewer and used its webcam.
Now its not showing up on teamviewer and most likely because WINDOWS SCHEDULED A MAJOR UPDATE
It probably rebooted and went on to boot into ubuntu. Should have fucking run ubuntu in the first place. I am going to be so furious when I get back.
*in case you are wondering, I had to leave in a hurry and didn't go for ubuntu because I had never used the camera in it and wasn't sure if ubuntu had the required drivers *1 -
"Hey guys we originally set the demo date to August 5th and thus far I have not seen any previews before that, what's going on here?"
Ok see, that is the kind of thing that I would take to me own lil broken heart IF:
1 It was coming from a product manager at where I work
2 He would never get any sort of updates or would just plain not know about us
3 He would be I dunno....fucking paying us?
This is the thing, a friend offered the chance to help him build a product for a business man somewhere down in the land of tacos. Being in a "fuck it" mood and not wanting to say no since it sounded interesting enough I said yes. The "owner" said that he would not be able to pay since he already had hired a team of developers before that did not deliver and as such he was instead offering a part of the company.....sounds familiar?
Not wanting to let my friend down, I told the owner that I would help just as long I get complete CTO power over the product and not crying about the stack being used or ME NOT GIVING THE PRODUCT MY FULL ATTENTION BECAUSE HE WAS NOT FUCKING PAYING.
He said ok.
Of course he did not like it, but he said ok.
He has been asking for the code, the platform, demos and a bunch of other shit which I continue to refuse since he has not offered me or my boy a copy of the legal documents that we require.
Him: "You will get them soon enough, I still need to see the product just to make sure everything is ok"
Me: "You wouldn't even know where to begin looking unless you have a third party that could verify the code, last time I checked I was to be the only one good for this"
Him: "Yeah and you and <friend> are, but I just need to see the product"
Me: "I send you videos and demos, sorry dude, but no binding document == no code. I know you think I am young, give me some fucking credit because this is not my first rodeo"
Him: "I am not trying to play you or anything, you can trust me"
Me: "No, not really. Talk to me about this when you get the documents"
Him: "Well its cuz this is taking too long...."
Me: "Tssss I know!!! It sucks right? Want a good product, built with all the bells and whistles and YOU DON'T WANT TO PAY? guess what dude, I do have a full time job, your product gets my minimal attention, right there at the bottom next to taking a shit, meaning that I will give your product the same time and attention as I would going to the throne. Aye don't feel that bad, I normally take about 1 hour on the shitter, you get that for fucking free."
To be fair ladies and gents I normally don't just explode on people like this. But I just can't fathom not paying someone for a rather large software product, with only a promise that "it will sell" and then telling them to hurry up.
Far as I am concerned this product will flop, but he seems to think it is the next big thing(of course).
He can go choke on some chode.
Fucking prick.1 -
I wish I would have picked faster shipping for my first mechanical keyboard I ordered this weekend... The wait is killing me and I have to wait a whole week until it comes in lol. Hurry up Fedex! I need to annoy a coworker.
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"Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you’re destined for.
But don’t hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years"
https://poetryfoundation.org/poems/...
For the sake of clarity, I just hope I'll never "make it" in what I do. I just hope to keep going on learning, experimenting and discoverying.
Whenever I'll get tired I'll look back at my past and then I'll decide if I made it.1 -
When you're in a hurry and hurriedly shutdown your windows 10 machine, then you realized that you pressed the Update and Shutdown button....
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I just got out of the office late and in a hurry to catch the train. I was in the zone dude, I was in it. I made an huge maintainability improvement on a framework I've worked on during the last year.
I fucking forgot to push and I'm in data corruption/laptop thievery anxiety 😥😥😥😥2 -
We are 1 week from first system demo of a down well seismic system. All the SW to run on the sensor nodes inside the well pipe has been developed with driver mockups since the FPGA team hasn't finished their part yet. So, integration, integration testing, system test and bug fix must be done in a hurry! Does this scenario sound familiar?
3 -
I'm way past the point of being pissed now....
So there's some software (API's, mobile app + website) that I wrote to manage supplier incentive programs in a big hurry last year - which lead to a bunch of stuff being hard-coded in to launch on time. So after last years promotion was done I took down all the services etc was very fucking clear that in order to finish & deploy it to run again I would need at least around 4 months notice.
On the surface its pretty simple but it has quite a large user base and controls the distribution of enough cash & prizes to buy a small country so the setup of the incentives/access/audit trails is not something to be taken lightly.
Then once I'm done with the setup I have to hand it over to be "independently audited" by 3 of the larger corporate behemoths who's cash it distributes (if I get a reply from one in 3-4 weeks it's pretty fast).
I only happened to find out by chance an hour ago that we are apparently launching an even larger program this year - ON FUCKING MONDAY. I literally happened to over hear this on my way for a smoke - they have been planning it since last year November and not one person thought it might be kinda important to let me know because software is "magic" and appears and works based on the fucking lunar cycle. -
The conversations that come across my DevOps desk on a monthly basis.... These have come into my care via Slack, Email, Jira Tickets, PagerDuty alerts, text messages, GitHub PR Reviews, and phone calls. I spend most of my day just trying to log the work I'm being asked to do.
From Random People:
* Employee <A> and Contractor <B> are starting today. Please provision all 19 of their required accounts.
* Oh, they actually started yesterday, please hurry on this request.
From Engineers:
* The database is failing. Why?
* The read-only replica isn't accepting writes. Can you fix this?
* We have this new project we're starting and we need you to set up continuous integration, deployment, write our unit tests, define an integration test strategy, tell us how to mock every call to everything. We'll need several thousand dollars in AWS resources that we've barely defined. Can you define what AWS resources we need?
* We didn't like your definition of AWS resources, so we came up with our own. We're also going to need you to rearchitect the networking to support our single typescript API.
* The VPN is down and nobody can do any work because you locked us all out of connecting directly over SSH from home. Please unblock my home IP.
* Oh, looks like my VPN password expired. How do I reset my VPN password?
* My GitHub account doesn't have access to this repo. Please make my PR for me.
* Can you tell me how to run this app's test suite?
* CI system failed a build. Why?
* App doesn't send logs to the logging platform. Please tell me why.
* How do I add logging statements to my app?
* Why would I need a logging library, can't you just understand why my app doesn't need to waste my time with logs?
From Various 3rd party vendors:
* <X> application changed their license terms. How much do you really want to pay us now?
From Management:
* <X> left the company, and he was working on these tasks that seem closely related to your work. Here are the 3 GitHub Repos you now own.
* Why is our AWS bill so high? I need you to lower our bill by tomorrow. Preferably by 10k-20k monthly. Thanks.
* Please send this month's plan for DevOps work.
* Please don't do anything on your plan.
* Here's your actual new plan for the month.
* Please also do these 10 interruptions-which-became-epic-projects
From AWS:
* Dear AWS Admin, 17 instances need to be rebooted. Please do so by tomorrow.
* Dear AWS Admin, 3 user accounts saw suspicious activity. Please confirm these were actually you.
* Dear AWS Admin, you need to relaunch every one of your instances into a new VPC within the next year.
* Dear AWS Admin, Your app was suspiciously accessing XYZ, which is a violation of our terms of service. You have 24 hours to address this before we delete your AWS account.
Finally, From Management:
* Please provide management with updates, nobody knows what you do.
From me:
Please pay me more. Please give me a team to assist so I'm not a team of one. Also, my wife is asking me to look for a new job, and she's not wrong. Just saying.3 -
Well, that's it, folks. Got a job offer, one I might accept, after some tweaks.
I've been a bit more than sixty days unemployed. And in no hurry.
But there is one thing that uneases my mind, though.
I've been a dev, I've been a graduate researcher, I've been a TA and I've been a tech lead, but now the industry wants me in a primarily management position.
I like to code, even if that makes me miserable sometimes. I like to solve problems. Math problems, engineering problems.
But I OOH SOOOO MUCH HATE when I have to deal with leadership who can't tell heads or tails on a coin toss. Who can't make a decision and deal with the consequences. Who can't handle bad times, searching for someone to blame more than searching for a solution. Who can't listen to advice, who thinks a commanding viewpoint is always better than many compiled intelligence reports.
Who don't wanna even think about the possibility that they might not know something, much less that someone on their team might know some subject better than they do.
Frankly, I think might I hate bad leadership more than I like coding.
So if the offer is to have the patent to tell productivity thespians where to shove their stupid spreadsheets, even at the cost of hardly ever issuing a git command, then I think it might be the time.
I hope it is not a mistake, but I can always course-correct my career later. I'm in my late 30s, I still have, like, 40 years of labour ahead of me (assuming medical advancements in the meantime).
So, yeah, I'm joining the other side. But trying not to become them.
May sudo have mercy upon my uid.4 -
Work From Home
I was in kitchen , my client messaged me and in hurry to reply her back , rushing towards my laptop, I fell and got bruises on my knee :(
Will take atleast one week to heel3 -
I use google auth for 2FA. Had to factory reset my phone for some reason. Meanwhile, github one day forced me to change my password. So I used the back up recovery code to change the password and then logged out. I was in a hurry and actually forgot to set up the new 2FA. But hey I have got the recovery codes right.
But, guess what? The recovery codes are not working anymore! Wtf github? -
When you ask your co-worker for help with an issue and while he researches the issue ever so slowly on your computer you see what the problem is but he won't listen and you're to nice to 'dismiss' him...1
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Currently working a contract for a startup that never finishes the final content editing and organization task so that we can build the last page. They were in such a hurry to start and we 100% delivered everything they asked for on time and at budget. Now that we are centimeters from the finish line, they keep pushing the date back due to the CEO never having time to provide feedback. It’s been months and we cannot get to the final work to earn the final payment.
Not the worst one (which I already shared another week a while back) but definitely not fun.4 -
Don't let your computer know that you are in a hurry,They can smell fear and they will slow down if they know that you are running out of time
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Jesus christ google hurry up and finish work on crostini!
Seem's like every day there is some new news about its development's and im just getting more and more excited! -
A friend referred me to a client he didn't have the skills to help. I took the opportunity and proposed a solution.
A year later and several touch-and-go conversations and I finally got a >$10k signed statement of work with $5k up front.
Another year later and lots more gaps in communication and I'm almost done with the project. I figured that since they weren't in a hurry to get the project done that I could count on them not expecting me to work a lot over the holidays and that we'd wrap it up in the new year.
Nope. Suddenly all content is finally showing up two days before a pre-Christmas launch.
Why do clients do this?!1 -
the moment when you havent slept one night and about this time the next day u start running low on battery. You think to yourself... just a lil bit, to finish this and that first, and your body is naaah man...ok will give ya 'bout 5 mins. so hurry up...right...now where was we...zzz3
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I recommend this to 'myself later'
#MISSING_OLD_RANTS #MY_OLD_RANT
you are in the flow maaan... you fucking rock it... i swear, to GOD!
I'm in the most mindblowing.. thinking out-of-the-box... thinking about the system... everything that just can help recover a little piece of your soul... and resolving the worst bugs you've ever had... and you are just fucking ROCK IT! And you are on the highway to finish it all, but then suddenly a thought kicks in, and won't let you "do ya' thing".
That little piece of shit is now not a man, not a thing, nor anything... just some old tune from your dreams... and NOW! You! You are in the flow... and suddenly know what is your youtube's playlist name... from your saved 170+ playlists...most of them with 30+ saved videos... and you fucking see through that madness now, and THAT contains that tune!!!
You dropp EVERYTHING! YOU ARE IN THE FLOW! And you just solved a "bug" inside you, 'cause if you listen that song, than finally will Soothe Your Pain (haha... https://youtu.be/MJpQx57uoRc )... And you know it... you are in a hurry, and you will forget the name again... so you just go to youtube... and try to search it... "piano"
you are always in a hurry... so -> hotkey Ctrl + T... (y -> auto youtube search) "y_piano" -> result is "personalized"...
yeah, innnntresting...
a lot of really irrelevant youtube videos...
Ok... scroll down...
loading more...
BOOM Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg between Mozart and Chopin...
"ok so personalized..." but not my playlist...
You check your youtube account... playlists... ALL PLAYLIST -> "Ahh finally, maybe a new search implementation!"...
Naaah... just shitty 170+ videos...
"thanks youtube..." No filter, no search... NOTHING...
"Fuck..." ok. fuck... go to old youtube page, you saved just for these situations... (remember... you are clever! and thank me later: https://youtube.com/view_all_playli... )
And it is not looking like it looked back in the day... and a little piece of it warns me that it will be removed soon... :'(
You lost the flow... you desperatly breaks down... What?!?!! that is the worst thing could happen to me... this is the only search option which works atleast a little bit... and it don't bothers anyone... and it will be abandoned, and shut down soon... :'(
So you sadly search that playlist... listen to that tune... turns up the volume... so that I can cry calmly in the corner, and no one can hear it...
And you know, everything you done, is fucked up, you don't even remember where this half sandwich came, in front of you?! nor what is the time?! anything...
You just wasted half an our, from your best fuckig time you can have right now... you could done all your tasks, all your bugs inside you... but you fucking wasted 30+ minutes (btw which is the most valuable thing in this fucking miserable life... and you wasted it to "search the youtube's UI where could you finally SEARCH WITH GOOGLE/YOUTUBE"!!!
And even that song is ruined for you now, 'cause this will be even worst in the future...2 -
So you are telling me I have to stay indoors from 21:00 onward because of Corona virus? And get a 95 euro fine when I don't? While I'm working 8 hours a day in a small office with 3 old fucks that refused to do ANY protection for their employees?
I'm glad you old fucks are dropping like flies. 2 million of you are dead already. Hurry up and die faster!!!7 -
We're remediating tls issues on production servers. gotta be pic compliant. It's been an hour and a half for one server and were not even close to done... we have at least 5 more to go for this particular app... my organization controls over 300... the company has thousands... for the love of god save me.5
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Does anyone of you ever generate PDF documents under Android?
It is a task in our current project and I don't find a lot (usable) libraries out there. Our first try was iText but under iText 7.1 they no longer support Android 6.5 -
I was in a hurry
this Asian chick grabbed me and not let me pass
I kept slinking out of her grip
she kept grabbing me again
I said "no I'm serious, I gotta go"
I pulled more violently
she fell on the floor
she pulled me down with her
she grabbed my legs
I started kicking her off
a kick to her shoulder dislocated it, but she kept going anyway
I'm trying to get up and kicking
I look back and now even her face is busted
yet she's still going at me, grabbing, pulling
what the fuck?
then the scene changes to a forest
we're in a band and trying to survive out there
by now the jig is up
encounter a person in a clearing, sledgehammer him in the face to disable him so he doesn't notice us
except that didn't do shit. his skull caved in, his bones are broken, but he's moving and moaning to try to get to you. he's not a zombie either. he's alive. looks perfectly alive. but his bones are broken and he's still moving and going. what the fuck do you do?
the bones start moving underneath his skin, he's just reorganizing and reinventing his body live
they're unkillable
the fuck you do now?
I used to have a lot of zombie dreams but what the fuck is this new shit3 -
I get a late start (two weeks) on a jumping in on a project because I was assisting with production issues. The service is not running and basically nothing has been checked in. Mind you, we're not doing anything new.
"Senior" (while I'm trying to work on my part ) : Hey can you hurry up and finish your part? I'm thinking about coming up with a completely different way than what the group wants. (heard this several times)
Me : *finishs my part with coverage and gets the service up running and rating in a week because I'm avoiding code conflicts*
"Senior" : OK well nevermind what I said about coming up with a different strategy. I'll develop the last bit of the service since again everything has been laid out already on what to do.
Me : OK, I'll work on code coverage for the rest of the project and updating the code based on feedback from the other team members.
Me (a week later after hearing that he has moved on to another task) : Did you finish up that last bit?
"Senior" : Well I shifted focus working on feedback from the review. Feel free to finish that last bit I was supposed to work on because I don't know wtf I'm doing and I would rather ride your ass instead of attempting anything significant on my own.
Me: Heard.
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Lost my changes twice now. First time was my own fault. Was in a hurry to pick up my son from daycare so I checked in my code and locked my computer before the code was actually checked in. So today when I took "Get latest" somehow my last code from yesterday vanished. So, I rewrote everything, but now there was some problem with service references, and building the solution failed. A colleague had a look into it, but he couldn't resolve the problem neither. Instead he accidentally made an undo changes on my code, so now my code is gone again. And the solution still doesn't build. I'm just a *leetle* frustrated right now :(3
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Just wondering on some agile best practices. Do you guys estimate efforts for defects? My PO is totally against it and says we deliver 5 to 7 pointers user stories + fix all the defects from previous sprint and current sprint, which I feel is over burdening the Dev team + in hurry to complete current sprint stories delivering poor quality work, which in turn become defects in the next sprint 😨 caught in this loop for a while now 😫4
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!dev
For fuck sake I hate this day already and its only 10am. I had to go to an exam. I live 200km away from my uni (only have a few classes, so collage is not worth it). I woke up at 4.30 to arrive in time. My car was wrecked 2 weeks ago so I've asked for my mother's car and guess what?... That fucker died on the road. Had to call my dad at 5.50 AM.
I've managed to arrive 7.58 at the classroom, and that retarded dimwit dared to tell me that next time I should hurry (exam started at 8), because they'd already started.
During the exam while I was literally sweating blood that same asshole comes to me that his pocket device detected data traffic coming from where I sit and whether I have a device switched on. It was me though, a devRant notification to be precise. Luckily he just asked me to switch it of, but that 2 minutes of fuckery could cost my pass grade.
Now I am heading back for the broken car to be towed back home. What a wonder-fucking-ful day I have today. And it is still a question, whether I will be able to go to work tomorrow or not. -
So... Three of us have the task to do security reviews for one team... As to who reviews what, we decided on the basic algo of assigning an index to our names and then doing (ticket number) % 3 to get the index and therefore the reviewer for that task... Simple enough, but still you need to modulo the number and remember your index so I created a simple .html file so we can easily see who reviews which ticket by inputting the ticket number... In a hurry I named it whoreview.html
Today, the manager saw it and said to rename it before HR gets involved :D -
Being on a break, having college projects to do and I keep procrastinating until the last day when I do everything in a hurry1
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Fucking windows not releasing my hard drive. I was in a kind of a hurry, but you just have to be a pain in the arse. Now I even have to wait for you to fix an indexing error for something I did not agree to?
FUCKING BULLSHIT, MY DUDE NEXT TO ME USING LINUX WAS USING IT JUST FINE!
I want enough time to replace this garbage.
By the time I got here, it finished scanning for errors. NO. FUCKING. ERRORS. FOUND. FUCKING. WASTE. OF. TIME. -
Today, in Temu's wild and crazy online store:
Clothing arms!
https://temu.com/at-en/...?
Me: What are these?
Temu: Wear them inside OR outside
Me: But what are they?
Temu: They come in lots of colours
Me: But what ARE they?
Temu: only 2.77
Me: What...do they keep your arms cool..or hot?
Temu: Yes!
Me: ...
Temu:...Better hurry...they're going fast...1 -
Just today.
A production issue was assigned to me a while ago and the OSE and I were volleying it back and forth (I don't have access to even see anything production) because neither of us had any idea of what to do.
Here's the twist: the OSE's analysis (and my assumptions) of the problem was off, so we were basically running around in circles.
Today, he and I had a good one on one as the only priority to put this mother fucker to rest. Turns out he assumed a lot of things in his hurry to give his analysis to his boss.
Confirmed a few things, lo and behold, it's a non issue. That's how the legacy, 13 year old system (that no one in the entirety of the company knows end to end anymore) works.
Fucking eureka.1 -
"asked 7 mins ago", "closed 4 mins ago" + "Update the question so it's on-topic for Stack Overflow." - edit, but hurry up before we close! This must be Stackoverflow's new welcoming culture then? (not my question, but somebody else's, closed for not being on topic, but could have happened to me as it did several times in the past)11
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Bribing sysadmin with an ice cold Coke hoping he will deploy my latest tag sort of in a hurry since I fudged up last one :/1
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Really wish the likes of JetBrains would hurry up and offer an LSP server for every language. I'm categorically not interested in using PHPstorm because my RSI makes it impractical but I'd be happy to shell out for an LSP I can use with Neovim9
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We should bring back the death sentence by hanging for those fucking retards who show their software update notifications as fucking popups after I start the program. No, notepad++, I don't give a fuck about your update. Fuck you FileZilla, I'm on a hurry, stop shoving your almost full screen update window in my face. Oh and the visual studio installer. Don't even get me started on the visual studio installer.
Would it be too difficult to show the update notification on the bottom of the window on the status bar? Maybe with a higher contrast color so it's more noticeable?10 -
So, I jump in my car, in a hurry to get somewhere. I pull out my phone, start up Waze and ....
it hangs. Won't pay any attention. All I want to do is bring up the keyboard so I can start typing so I can get the address in before I have my hands on the wheel.
Nope, it's busy doing something ... ah, there it goes. What was so important?
"Here's where you are."
Oh ... why thank you, I had no idea I was in my own driveway. Good to know.1 -
The next point on the maps points really look like
Black deep chasms to me not being in a hurry to be drugged raped or arrested -
Does anyone here have experience with the eBay iOS or Android app, specifically with setting up alternate payment gateways on eBay (other than PayPal) to collect payment on purchased items? I have a client who for various reasons can no longer use PayPal to collect payment on eBay. On purchases made via the website on Desktop there are no problems with Authorize.net. But when people try to purchase via the app specifically, they are given a stupid and unhelpful message to use the desktop browser purchase experience instead. For the client it is costing about 60% of potential eBay sales.
Everything I’ve been reading on eBay’s own forums and elsewhere shows that this is an ongoing and unsolved issue for a lot of store owners and eBay seems to be in no hurry to remedy it. I’ve been over this several times with multiple eBay support reps but all I get are inconsistent and misleading answers. Or maybe I’m just not asking or searching right and the answer is out there somewhere. Any advice?
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