WHY THE HELL DOESN'T THIS METHOD WORK??!11!?? Oh, I never called it yet ._.

So I learned something today. Always disable guest sessions in your Linux machine in a work environment.

Walked away from my pc to talk to a fellow Linux engineer.

Came back to a screen with pornhub and porn playing.

"wait how the hell? I locked my pc...?!?"

"ever heard of guest sessions mate? 😆"

😓

*silently disables guest sessions*

Well okay learned that one the hard way 😅

Boss: make this thing
Me: yeah no worries. Where is the spec?
Boss: We don't have enough one but we outsourced the design so call him

Designer: haven't started yet
Me: excellent

Boss: I'm going on holiday. I'll leave this to you.
Me: erm ok. I'm having a few problems getting stuff out of the designer though.

*2 weeks later and still no designs*

Boss: I'm back. Where is the progress?!
Me: indeed.

*1 week later i get half designs that sort of make sense*

Boss: hurry up!

*1 week later*

Me: designer you're busting my balls here
Designer: yeah lol

Me to boss: still having problems. No idea what I'm doing.
Boss: deal with it

*2 days later*
PM: we are demoing it to clients tomorrow
Me: brilliant. I'll become a magician then.

* Meeting goes well and no one notices the thing is a bit buggy*

*2 days later*
Me to boss and pm: you already know whats going on but I'll keep trying.
Boss: ok it's just a proof of concept anyway.
Designer: yeah here's the rest of the designs lol

*1 week later, the designs made no sense, no idea what they wanted but hey it's a proof of concept so I'll just do my best...*

*suddenly again, hey you have 1 week before we sell it. Lol. smashes a product together as fast as humanly possible, due to half designs and no time to do it right even html classes and CSS aren't right - didn't know things would be repeated at the time. No time to fix entire thing. Luckily just a proof of concept*

New senior developer: hey boss just said this is being sold tomorrow.
Me: wtf..It's a proof of concept and i was given longer...
New senior developer: no
Me: :(

Senior developer and all colleagues: it's full of bugs and doesn't work
Me: yes that will happen without specs, random tight deadlines, no designs that made sense and a total of about a week and a half to make an entire system for multiple user types to make applications, send messages, post jobs, handle all paperwork and move paperwork among different user types as they go through applications. I told everyone what was going on but i get no support...

*Silence*

Boss: wtf i gave you so long! All i know is my entire staff is working on a product that should be done ages ago
Me: ok, however i have said almost every day i need-
Boss: I'm not interested

*I finish my placement year and never get any promised work or the job offer*

Seems legit?

dad: what the hell do you do again?

me 1st time asked: I'm a back end web developer, i write the code you don't see that makes things you do see work.

me 90,000th time: internet stuff.

me 83,881,178th time: computers!

The CEO at the company I work at has been telling our partners that our PIA is ready. It took me a week to figure out what the hell a PIA was but he actually meant API

Been lurking here for a while. Finally pissed off enough to post.

Been programming in Ada for nearly a decade now. One of the few younger devs who knows the language well. Have a large collection of libraries and tools written in it, open source. Done contract work. Looking to get out of my current line of work, which is medicine, because fuck this recent legal climate. I'm spending all my time dealing with legal compliance and it rapidly changing.

I see a job posting from a company looking for a programmer to mostly write testing stuff for clients. They mostly work with Ada. I've written a whole unit testing and integration testing framework. Perfect. Apply. "You don't have the required skills." Oh... K then.

Wanna guess what I was just offered as contract work. Same company. I guess i'm fucking qualified if you asswipes sought me out to ask me to fix your fucking bullshit.

What the hell is wrong with management and HR in recent years?

When something goes wrong at work, my boss will blame the first dev in his vicinity ...

Boss: "what the hell happened? why are the servers down?! This is unacceptable! Blah blah etc etc"

Me: "I dunno. Let me review if my CSS had anything to do with it" 😑😩

JuniorDev: I made some changes to your code and it seems to work better.
Me: Awesome, thanks dude.
Inner-me: Who the hell does he think he is.

Rant::post

Cute girl: what do you do for work?
Me: I'm a programmer
Cute girl: Meaning?
Me: that I spend all my day seated in front of a computer doing computer programs
She: (waits 20s) hmm, so i forgot my Facebook pass...
Me: go to hell (leaves)

drunk me: "let's just code a bit right before going to bed!"
*codes and then goes to bed*
sober me: "when and what did i do here?"
(...)
also sober me: "how the hell does this work?!"

one of our computers at work suddenly shut down. our boss panicked like it was the end of the world cause he knew we couldnt buy a new one and we desperately need the computer. when i came in he started telling me he's gonna pay me extra if i fix the computer

me: *checks cpu and finds out it was unplugged* u sure bout that?
him: hell yea, id rather pay u that buy a new one

*30 mins later*

me: *plugs it back in and pushes power button* its done

>> guess who's got extra money without any extra efforts yay

A method that contains over 9000 lines of code.....
Are there really production codebases out there with stuff like that? If yes I am scared as hell because I don't want to work with that kind of code once I graduate
Tell your stories!

If only Goland was finished two years earlier...

So today I got removed from my freelance project because the client found out I listen to slipknot! What the actual FUCK? How the FUCK does it matter what I listen to?

And that cunt eater isn't willing to pay for the work I've already completed since "Slipknot is anti-Christian".

Burn in hell you piece of shit.

Guys google have made a revolutionary discovery, it's going to change smartphones for the better!!!!

(Yes must clarify this is immense amounts of sarcasm because fucking hell google you would think you have all this money that you could work this fucking shit out...)

Client: "We are extremely satisfied with your great work for almost three years now and we are super thrilled to work with you in the future and benefit from your amazing work."
Dev: *makes one tiny little mistake*
Client: "Oh burn in hell you cock sucking piece of shit!"

before programming class:
"yes easy af, imma finish this in a few minutes"

during programming class:
*types everything in 10 mins*
*compiles and runs perfectly*
"wtf this isnt supposed to happen"
*spends 30 minutes trying to find the bug*
"fucking hell, it should fucking work by now"

end of programming class:
"oh i put int instead of float, good job, my time was wasted because of one fucking word"

>be me
>graduate
>find job with a start-up
>offer me 1% share as signup bonus
>why the hell not
>make 50 dollars/hour
>lowkey they didn't give me any real work
>only had to write some simple ass JS functions for the website
>asked boss to work from home
>he accepted
>tfw i get paid to play games, watch tv shows and write the occasional shitty ass piece of code for 50 dollars/hour
>that's about 1 AAA game/hour

Stay in school. Get your degree, kids.

As most of you already know, I'm a writer. I've noticed the similarities between writing and programming:

1. Tabs vs spaces.

2. Both typically spend all their time with a single project.

3. Coffee... (Unless you're a tea lover like me.)

4. Both typically have no life.

5. Debugging is hell for programmers and editing/revising is hell for writers.

6. Strict clients for programming and strict editors for writing.

7. Semicolons... They're useful but everyone despises them.

8: Emotions. Programmers are angry at their code. (Why won't you work?) and writers feel depressed about their writing. (Why did you die?)

9. War of the programs. For programmers: Vim vs VScode vs Atom vs Sublime and etc. For writers: MS word vs Google docs vs Libre office and etc.

10. Online forums. Stack overflow and Writer's digest.

11. Typing... Typing... All day long.

These are only a few similarities. I've noticed a lot more than this.

Juniors are a fun bunch to work with.
Over confident, hero complex of that fresh graduate high, and then thrown in to the real world! Where there hopes and dreams are crushed in minutes when they see what monolithic applications really look like!!

But don't let that overwhelm you, your not going to be changing all of it any time soon, hell some of this code hasn't been touched in 5+ years and still works without fail.

Don't stress about the work load, you can only write 1 line of code at a time anyway, and hell, even seniors make mistakes.

The key about being able to manage this beast is simple, break it! Because the more you break it, the more you'll understand how a project is put together, for better or worse. Learn from the examples in front of you, and learn what not to do in the future 😎

But more importantly, plan your changes, whiteboard the high level logic of what it is you want to add, then whiteboard in the current codebase and determine where to slice this bitch up, then when it all looks well and good, take out your scalpel and slice and dice time.
Don't worry, your changes aren't going to production anytime soon, hell, you'll be lucky to get past the first pull request with this working 100% the first time, and that's a good thing, learn from tour short comings and improve your own knowledge for the next time!

FML. All those "train your own object detection" articles can go burn in hell. Not even TFs pertained models work!

Step 1: Create and deploy feature. Get feedback: It works fine!

A year passes...

Step 2: Add another small feature that is completely independent from previous feature.

Step 3: Notice that feature #1 is broken.

Why the HELL did it stop working?!? I didn't change anything related to that feature. I can't explain that!

Step 4: Examine bug and find out something unknown about the technology used in feature #1.

Why the HELL did that ever work in the first place?!?

Step 5: Get time to fix it. Don't get time to find out why it worked for a year...

The problem is solved, the mystery remains...

Teamate: Hey I'll checkout you're branch to see what you've got done today.
Me: ...Ok.
Few hours later Teammate forgets to change branch and overwrites all my code in my branch causing merge hell and creating hours of more work.
Me:...what in the f***?!

⏺ Procrastinating - SoundCloud on shuffle mode.
⏺Concentration lvl - NOOB or repeated work - Something that a mindless zombie could do. I play OneRepublic, Maroon 5, Coldplay, GreenDay, etc.
⏺ Concentration lvl - Serious - AudioMachine, Two Steps from Hell, etc
⏺ Concentration lvl God mode - I require absolute zero silence. You make as much a *sigh* anywhere within 4m radius of me, or I realise of your existence, you would wish you weren't born.

This ist basically my daily work. I have to write Java code in excel files which then are being converted into a DSL and then again being converted into Java code. On top of that many wrappers were built which abstract all this things away..

We have about 30 such excel files which contain about 50000 business rules.
There is no version control for this tables and 5 different team are working on the same tables parallel.

The name of this framework is Drools or as I call it: HELL 😡

Linux you are just the perfect OS in all terms but please do something for gamers. I cant keep on switching laptops for work and playing dota. Hell even the keyboard layout is like way different in both.

So, the job I refer to as Hell finally deleted my work email account yesterday.

I've been getting (and ignoring) emails on that account for years now. Probably still have production access and push rights, too. 🙄

We've built a web app and now a client wants a VPN acces to the database of web app. When asked why, they said they want to occasionally pull some data out. 😱

We said no, and this is what they wrote:
"We’ve got live VPN access to every other web database we work with – why is this different?"

Well because maybe we know that we can build you an export of whatever you want, prepare you API calls for getting data to your CRM, but hell I'm not giving you access to the production DB.

Client writes me in slack two hours after my 8 hours are done:

“We have a bug, can you fix it now? We need to have it in two days”

Me, smoking pressing cmd+q, closing laptop , listening fools gold by the stone roses, curtains down

Fucking hell, how much I hate frontend!

Getting a tab system to work (bulma only exists out of css) has been taking me ages and its still not working.

I love nice interfaces but I just want to work on the backend 😭

Dude, stop trying to cram your crappy open source library into all our projects. No-one uses it, it's buggy as hell, and even if it did work properly, it adds virtually zero advantages.

Seriously, if you Google this library, the results are: a blog post this guy has written about it saying it's awesome, the same guy answering people's questions on Reddit by saying that all their problems would be solved by using his library, and someone else raising an issue saying it doesn't work 🤦‍♀️

Someone managed to insert a micro sim into a mini simcard tray, support jobs aaaaaaaargh

Why the hell can't PMs understand "it's complicated" without asking for an explanation? EVERY time any dev has said that and they ask why, guess what follows?

Technical jargon they don't get.

Do they think we're lazy and trying to wiggle out of work? Do they not trust us? Do they think explaining it to them will somehow provide some insight that will make it less complicated?

Argh

!!office drama

I haven't been around much in recent weeks. Due to family illness, christmas shopping, dealing with estranged parents, and brooding over the foregoing, I haven't had a lot of time or energy left to myself.

tl;dr: The CTO ("API Guy") is ostensibly getting fired, and I might be taking over his job. I don't know if I should accept, try to stave this off, or simply flee.

------

Anyone who has been following my recent rants knows that API Guy is my boss, and he often writes terrible code. It's solid and unbreakable, but reading it is a *nightmare.* One of our applications is half the length of Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, and it's difficult to tell what code is live and what amounts to ancient, still-active landmines. This is one application; we have several, most of which I've never even looked at.

Ostensibly the code is so terrible because the company grew extremely quickly, and API Guy needed to cram in lots of unexpected / planned-against features. From what I can see, that seems about right, but I haven't checked timeframes [because that's a lot of work!].

Here's a brief rundown of the situation.
- API Guy co-founded the company with the CEO.
- CEO and API Guy have been friends for a long time.
- CEO belives the company will fail with API Guy as head of tech.
- They could just be testing me; I have zero way of knowing. API Guy seems totally oblivious, and CEO seems sincere, so this feels pretty doubtful.
- CEO likes pushing people around. CEO believes he can push me around. API Guy doesn't budge. (I probably won't, either, except to change task priorities.)
- API Guy's code is huge and awful, but functional.
- API Guy is trying to clean up the mess; CEO doesn't understand (maybe doesn't care).
- Literally nobody else knows how the code works.
- Apart from API Guy and myself, the entire company is extroverted sales people.
- None of these sales people particularly like me.
- Sales people sell and sell and sell without asking development if they can pull enough magic features out of their hat to meet the arbitrary saleslines. (because the answer is usually no)
- If I accept, I would be the sole developer (at first) and responsible for someone else's mountain of nightmarish code, and still responsible for layering on new features at the same pace as he. Pay raise likely, but not guaranteed.
- My getting the position is contingent upon the CEO and the investors, meaning it's by no means guaranteed.
- If I don't accept, likely API Guy will be replaced with someone else of unknown ability, who doesn't know the code, and whom I must answer to regardless. Potentially OK, potentially a monumental disaster.

Honestly, it feels like I'm going to be screwed no matter what course I choose.

Perhaps accepting is slightly better?

The best would be to assume the position of CTO and keep API Guy around -- but that would feel like an insult to him. I doubt he'd be okay with it. But maybe. Who knows? I doubt the CEO would seriously consider that anyway.

I feel like a lamb between a dim, angry rhino, and an oblivious one.

Trash, trash, trash.
Who the fuck writes this shit?

Who the fuck lets these trash should-be-junior devs roll their own crypto? and then approves it?

The garbage heap of a feature (signing for all apis) doesn't follow Ruby standards, doesn't follow codebase conventions, has `// this is bridge` style comments (and no documentation), and it requires consumer devs to do unnecessary work to integrate it, and on top of all this: it leaks end-user data. on all apis. in plaintext.

Fucking hell.

Developer: Changes are difficult from here, are you sure this is how you want it. 🤔

Client: yes. 👍

Developer: ((3;"'&}×π{sk*[=¶^[|) ☕😴

Client: Oh, actually can we have this too and maybe remove this bit because we don't need it now thanks. ☺️

🤐🙃🔫

All respect to android (love the system (no, that doesn't mean that I love google)) and also to awesome custom roms (hell even some vendors make quite good ones imo!).

BUT WHO THE FUCKING HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF ALARMS YOU CAN HAVE TO 15 OR EVEN LIMIT IT AT ALL?!?
I HAVE TO GET UP AT 3:30 FOR WORK EACH NIGHT AND THIS IS *NOT* HELPING.

THE PERSON WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA CAN TAKE A PHONE, OPEN THAT DEFAULT CLOCK APP AND SHOVE IT UP HIS FUCKING ASS.

Same situation as my previous rant.

Was building the dynamic page loader thing (basically mvc part) but it just DIDN'T FUCKING WORK.

As a last resort I chose the views to render based on a few if-else's 😅

Hacky as hell but it saved me from doom!

When a developer tells you it will take a week and you go ... hell no this will take me a couple hours...

So as proof you do it and realize you just did their work ...

*faceplam*

(Forgot to post this a few days ago. Was just too tired.)

Finally finished the code review from hell.

The patch on top of the PR is +1448 -1114, and nearly all of it is rearchitecting, not moving.

I think I spent six days on it, 4-5 productive hours a day? Seems like a lot. This codebase is a bitch to work in.

I’m spent.

Oh hell no

How the hell can people actually WORK with these ultra slim ultrabooks with no ports?? My laptop is getting used like a cheap whore at a bachelors party...

Another non programming related rant although kinda tech related.
So I work in a distribution center and today I learned box packing.

1. THEIR LEGACY ASS SYSTEM ONLY RUNS ON IE (FUCK ME IN THE ASS SIDEWAYS PLEASE).
2. SYSTEM CONSTANTLY FREEZES.
3. THE HAND SCANNERS RUN ON AN OLD FUCKING LEGACY WINDOWS (PRE 2000 I THINK) SYSTEM AND IS SLOW AS MOTHERFUCKING HELL.

Yes, it is VERY frustrating to have to work with this FUCKING SHIT THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING DAY.

Plus side today, the locations I had to pick from today included 200, 403 and 404. Had loads of inside jokes about not being able to find locations and not having permission etc 😆

So I just found out that my colleague who I often have to work with does not use a debugger to troubleshoot any bugs at all. Actually, he does not even run or test his code locally either with prints or something similar. He just commits java code directly on bitbucket, no source control, without making sure it compiles and then he runs a CI provided by devops that takes 4 freaking hours to run because he bloated that shit up somehow.

I suggested politely to help him find a more efficient approach and to use my hardware setups for speeding up his work because I assume it must be pretty painful to work with, but he just refused.

That and those "seniors" with 10 years Linux development XP in the embedded field who don't know basic commands like ls, cat and touch and code in notepad.

Fucking me, who the hell am I working with and can someone please end me?

Me at midnight: let's release a demo build

Me at 1 am: why are there so many bugs? Why won't it compile.

Me at 2 am: omg finally compiled. Runs it, buttons don't work. Closes it, reopens it. Buttons work.

Me at 3 am: let's write apologetic posts for the bugs, but post the version anyway

Me at 4 am: why do I advertise in so many places

Me at 5 am: let's update the patreon reward tiers

Me at 5:30 am: nah fuck this, going to bed.

Mom at 9 am: wake the hell up we need you to dig out a hill and build a stone wall around one side of the house.

Me: omg wtf why.

Me at 2:30 pm: why the hell are we doing this, I have so many bugs to patch and everyone knows they are there because I told them all!

It fucking infuriates me when the docs mention to create a certain config file "xyz.json" but completely leave it to your imagination where the hell this fucking file should be placed!
Come on, I'm not getting paid for detective work, fucking imbeciles.

You guys should really take a look at your YouTube history sometimes (If you use it). It's amazing how I move from one video to another.

Here is what I did yesterday:

- I watched a GOT Season 7 review
- Then for some reason, I watched Underground nuclear test
- Several HD footages of Nuclear tests
- Top 10 Demolitions gone wrong 😕
- "No Planes" in 9/11 attack 😕
- Amber Heard's Sexy Prank 😕

Fucking hell, I need to get back to work ☹️

I regularly want to send pictures from my work phone to my private one and I've got WhatsApp installed on my work phone but no way in hell it's getting on my private phone.

Was thinking about how to exchange those images easily...

I now have Signal on my work phone as well and I can chat with my private phone 😊

Why does CSS never work the way you'd expect? All I want to do is align something to the bottom of a div. No. Will not happen. You'd think it might be something simple as 'v-align' or 'align: bottom' or 'fucking put it at the bottom: now;'

No, it's never that simple. I try every result I can find from googling. Nothing. Simply does not work.

How about trying to keep a div to a square when you resize the page? That should be simple? height = width right? Fuck you. Ha hahah, no you have to implement some horrendous arcane hack involving fake elements and other bullshit.

You finally fix one thing and everything else you had working is now broken.

...and then some fuckwit comes along and goes "Oh, CSS isn't hard..." and it takes everything you have not to beat them to death with your rubber duck.

What the hell is wrong with CSS? It's not even programming! It's just pure, sadistic hell! FUCK CSS!!!!

If you write a tutorial or a book with code samples please take the time to ensure that (a) you cover everything that is needed to get your samples to work properly and (b) that your samples actually to work.

It is frustrating the bloody hell out of me typing your code character by character into my machine just to have my compiler screaming at me.

On that note: just wasted a week on rewriting a whole bloody library that was "broken" just to discover that the library works just fine but the freaking tutorial on the very page was faulty.

Things you hear from developers 5 minutes before demo to the whole Management Board.

- "... Does this button work... Nope... Oh well..."
- "What the hell is THAT!?"
- "Um... Is it supposed to look like this?"
- "Please tell me you didn't just merge this!?!"

While I fucking hate front end and app development, I also hate that I'm so fucking dependant on them for the development of services and such.

Right now I'm developing a suite of services with a mate and while the backend and security (+linux servers) are something I'm good at, I find it hard sometimes to continue without being able to see my API's in action through apps and good looking interfaces.

My mate is currently handling that part but he has way less time than I do and thus I sometimes have to create interfaces to even just be able to see how my shit would work irl.

I can't fucking stand this and it sometimes entirely drains my motivation but there's also no fucking way in hell that I'll dive into frontend and/or app development.

Fucking hell.

1. Keep your rythm: 7/8 hours of sleep each day and DON'T take your work home. Unless you have your own business ofcourse. Still: don't wear yourself out!

2. Put on music. Me personally like fast punk when i'm struggling with a deadline. Makes you want to go faster.

3. Close ALL communication like chats, mail etc. Hell i even thought of a sign "do not disturb"

4. Coffee. Lot's of coffee

5. Use a time tracking method like pomodoro

I am in programmer hell today.

Oh great programmers of the universe, lend me your strength so that I do not leave work a shattered soul on this day!

Sister of a friend of mine fucked up her Mac, her Dad, they called me to fix it.

Partition table is wrecked and her thesis is there, no backup.

Been working since yesterday, got to recover it. Recovered files.

Dad applies pressure, because she's leaving out of town today, I do my best but fucking SSD won't work, it says it's healthy but damn Mac says IO error, Disk Utility says exit code 8... oh, and her dad thinks it's easy, that Ive been delaying things and so on...

fuuuuuucking hell, I hate you

Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:

The IS department manager 'John' bought a blowgun and was shooting at a box down the cubical farm hallway. Only a little annoying to hear him puff on the tube, but then someone walked out their cube and almost got hit.
Dev: "Dammit John! What the hell are you doing?!"
John: "Maybe you should pay the hell attention to where you're going. You heard what I was doing. Don't be a baby, those darts wouldn't have hurt you anyway."

I've attached a pic of what the darts looked like.

Almost blew up a £5000 board at my work.

Bloody hell, that was close.

Me doing front-end work and get a stupid feature request from a customer...."I'll have to talk to our back-end developer and DBA to see if those changes are possible".

Guess what...Im the back-end developer and DBA and the answer is "hell no".

My PC died 2 weeks ago. I've been stuck on mobile since and will be too broke for a new machine for an indefinite (though certainly not infinite) period.

It's hell. One can only read so many ebooks and meditate so much.

What's the longest you've ever been without your machine, unwillingly?

Worst part is I was just starting a pet project and now it's on hold!

Pic related, my feels as time drags on when I'm not at work.

Eclipse, you lousy shit bitch of an ass hole - yeah I went there.

So I spent several hours today trying to get eclipse to:
1) just fucking launch without erroring out and crashing
2) actually work with a reasonable dark theme. (Yea right)

But no you hunk of shit, both of these seems nearly impossible for you. And just when I get you to work, the stupid fucking lack of syntax highlighting is just dreadful as fuck. If I didn’t have to use it for Salesforce development I sure as hell wouldn’t.

Just arrived at the vacation home, turns out the "free" wifi is dead as hell, because quote; "a tree fell on a wire"

Which first of all that is fucking bs because they have internet at the reception still so that shouldn't work either right? But okay we now live without internet for the coming 3 days we are relying on our data plan....

Me on drugs at work: *focus as fck*
Me at work: shit, what the hell people around me talking about

Damn i love herb

fucking piece of garbage postman!

WHY THE HELL do you auto-update yourself when i explicitly DISABLED updates?

why the hell is it just a "minor" update to switch to a version that FORCES you to have an account, even if all you do is use offline features?

and why is there no option to disable syncing your data to their server, even if it's not needed at all? YALL EVER HEARD OF A THING CALLED PRIVACY?

and why the fucking fuck of all fucked fucks DO YOU DELETE MY PREVIOUS OFFLINE DATA SO I CAN'T EVEN CONTINUE WORKING BY INSTALLING AN OLDER VERSION?!?

some dumb-piece-of-garbage-waste-of-oxygen managers decision to screw their userbase cost me several HOURS(!) of work already and probably will cost some more due to the lost collections.

I asked my friend to design a flyer for an organization's annual dinner, asking her to send me an invoice so I could pay her (I can't design worth shit, she's doing me a huge favor).

She said she'll do it, declined payment, and doesn't even want me to get approval for her to put it in her portfolio...

How the hell do I pay her back for her work? If we lived in the same town, I'd at least take her to coffee and lunch, but she moved states and I moved countries :(

Sitting at work listening to music, doing absolutely fuck all right now because I ain't got no tickets! All the mfers need to answer me before I can work on their stuff.

Sounds great, no?

It's not. It's hell being unable to do work for me. I need to busy myself with doing random shit so I don't go insane.

Mhh, coffee...

Oh, by the way, Sir Jav'alot is still around too.

Going through the list of projects:

Nope...

Absolutely nope ...

Burn it Nope.

Nononono.

Don't touch this.

It's so fluffy, I will die.

Wow. If this was a fungus, it could talk by now.

What the hell was that...?

Uh. Ehm. So old it's already done. Oopsie.

...

2 hours later...

...

Well. Backlog is sorted.

Conclusion: I just don't work anymore.

-.

I think it's time to add a field "pain level" to Jira.

And I doubt that the backlog contains any ticket less than pain level 8 / 10. -.-

But yey. I ordered beer.

I work at a 6day work week company and this week it was 7. We work more than 10hours a day in a 7×27 foot co-working office space. My manager sits just 2foot away from me to my back. He is toxic as hell and nano(micro) manages the team. I stay very near to office and I feel like I am a dead person just living to work.

Is this a good reason to change the job after an year ? I feel lonely and negative. My manager sitting just few inches away from me makes me feel like a fish trying to behave outside water.

But the best part is I got to work on many things that helped me gain lot of tech expertise still he wanted control every piece of code.

nvidia makes me sick, nvidia fucks with my kernel, nvidia earned a place in hell, nvidia is shit, nvidia runs like garbage stuffed in to my motherboard, nvidia is so expensive, nvidia made my work harder and that's not what computers are meant to, nvidia's website sucks, nvidia has no solutions if you're running on GNU/Linux, nvidia owes me money, time and tons of coffee, nvidia is so much a pain in my ass.
nvidia is now on my shitlist, just before apple, followed by adobe.

Have you ever looked at code you had written years or even decades ago and asked yourself either:

1) How this this even work?

2) What the hell does this do?

3) or, I can’t believe I wrote that. (In horror or serendipitously)

!rant

TLDR; Lost passion after a few years, wasted a year, went on vacation without really any technology, found my passion and am excited as hell for 2019.

After programming for nearly 5 years, I’ve hit the point of not wanting to program anymore. I’ve burnt myself out, and haven’t had a vacation in 8+ years so we’ve finally decided to take one. I’m not going to say it’s a full blown vacation, but a semi-vacation since it’s with my parents also so I do have to do a few things I’d prefer not to such as meeting relatives.

I didn’t have the motivation to work on any new projects, finish any projects I actually enjoyed, I just did a few side projects for friends that took me anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes every few weeks. In general this year has been garbage in development terms, I’ve lost passion. It felt like a chore, I didn’t find the entertainment I once did.

I’ve been away from technology for about 2 weeks now, and have less than a week left before I fly back and I’m excited as hell. During this break away from technology (with the exception of browsing devRant once in a while), has me excited to work on many projects and actually start learning and improving my skills. I’ve actually gained the motivation to work on 2 projects that have been planned for nearly 2 years now, I’ve noted down ideas for them, made diagrams, etc, just never had the passion to develop them. 2019 is going to be one hell of a year, since I get back almost at the end of November, and December I have a few business meetings and University exams that I have to prepare for. Excited to see these projects through, one is going to be for the hell of it, just been a passion project I’ve wanted to do for years now. The other project is actually a project for one of my sub-companies that hasn’t officially released since I didn’t have the passion to work on it. (Not going to go into full detail yet about the companies/projects, going to save that for the future)

Alongside that, I’m excited since my main company that is totally unrelated to technology, is set to do some massive moves during 2019 also. Looking forward to that, and being able to launch my dream company (the sub-company I mentioned before).

Time for sleep now, goodnight! (Wrote this after a few drinks and in the middle of the night, hopefully it’s not full blown garbage)

If you are programming in C++ please always return a type from a function as the function prototype return type.

I had to debug some old code that failed to return a boolean on one of its flow paths. It would work on linux in release and debug, would work on windows in debug, and fail on windows in release.

The failure was NOT straightforward at ALL. It would return exit code 3. Then if I added a debug print to the function it would segfault.

Why the hell would popping something extra off the return/call stack not crash more readily? Wth is the point of debug compile if it won't catch shit like this?

First few times being made to make mobile responsive emails (from scratch, not generators) was an utter psychedelic mess I never wish to have the pleasure of returning too.

I since have had the pleasure of refusing this, as being able to maintain this chaotic mess created which has to be able to work across the major email clients is just a living nightmare.

There’s hell, then there’s a whole other level.

Why in the world IT work is so stressful?
I never been like that since I start developing code professionally, 8 years ago.
Since then, I had many health problems due stress, and some were really scaring (heart problem).

I'm trying to adapt to a healthier way of work, but I'm starting to doubt if that is possible.

Work in technology seems cruel and soulless sometimes. The constant pressure to learn new things all the time, to specialize in a lot of skills, simultaneously. The urgency nature of ALL tasks - even a simple form field slightly out of place seems to be an issue of life and death for clients.

Easy and quick communication made some people lost boundaries and respect. Many times I received calls and messages after midnight, about things like elements alignment.

And the worst is when clients blame you about their business problems. If they are not selling well this week, it's fault of the website you did ( which they are using for months now).

This actually happened to me today, first thing in the morning. After I slept just 3h, because I worked until late yesterday (oh yeah many more of these life/death updates).

What happens in this industry? Will this ever be different some day?

Can we agree to from now on do all our sylesheets like this?

Honestly. It takes a bit of work organizing everything but bloody hell is it easy to use.

PS I just started a decent chunk of those #ID's will be replaced it's just to build the UI up.

Also you get a + if you can guess what ui I am trying to recreate. 😂

So, part of my job is working with SQL. Not my favorite technology to work with. But the tables have mostly non-descript fields, multiple schemas in the same table, and encoded relationships spanning multiple tables. Yes, the database from hell! On top of that, there is very little documentation on this mess. -- And my boss wants me to write queries against a combination of these tables to make sure the program is working. RIGHT...

Title: Google can track your porn history, even in incognito mode

Body(tl;dr version): Pornsites use Google Analytics

You little idiotic motherfucking tech savvy wannabe, most of the websites use some form of user tracking services.

Hell, even the blog/news website you work for probably does.

What the fuck is wrong with you Windows?
Why the hell do you take so much time to load?
Actually, FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOU FOR BEING THE ONLY OS WHERE HIGH END GAMES WORK.
FUCK YOU FOR BEING SO SO SO SLOW LIKE YOUR GRUB.

Fucking hell everything in java is so annoying, confusing and hard to get working. I just want to use JavaFX, why do you require me to sacrifice a lamb in order to do so? It might be my fault though, but c'mon, I don't want to spend 2-3 hours reading through shitty documentation in order to understand how maven works and what the hell Gradle is. Why can't it be as simple as adding a module name to a config file, like in Rust's Cargo? Even using intellij to acquire JavaFX and set it as a dependency doesn't work, it gives me some weird "JavaFX not configured" bullshit error. What the fuck, you're a library, you shouldn't need anything else ffs

I don't think it's to complicated...

Dumb clients, no matter who they are if they want you to fix their computer ... Create a new Twitter , hack, when you don't hack.
They make our lives hell .. why ? Because ignorance.

My favourite is when they expect you to work for nothing.oh but you can have 2% it's a billion dollar idea you'll make like 20 mill!😒🙄 All I'll do is sit here since i was the genius if the idea you work out the details ? 400 hours you say? I'm sure it'll take 20 don't be silly now.

A 27" monitor with a 1080p resolution is a match made in hell. Oh the eye bleach. (At home I got 30" with 2k or 1440p resolution. Much better viewing experience.)

I'm having my first day in the office in the new job after two week of remote work. I think I will prefer working from home office definitly (even though the office coffee machine is nice).

It doesn't help that the internet connection in the office is 100 Mbit and at home I have 1 Gbit.

Those corperate slow laptops which has preinstalled software on it. Especially the antivirus which decides to take up all memory to take a scan on 08:00 when you start up.

Im really close to throwing this piece if shit through the window...

Why the fuck this moron thought it was a good idea to set a global onClick event in a react component and make it have the desired behavior for EVERYTHING instead of the only click he wanted to get?

7 places you can click were triggering redux dispatch and ajax calls that should only work on one place... Fucking hell...

No. No. No.

We are NOT rewriting the software from scratch.
Why are people so keen on rewriting? Have they no experience??

When you get a call into the helpdesk:

" It doesn't work!! "

What doesn't fucking work???!!!!??? And who the hell is this anyway?

Just received the code for a WP site that needs a redesign... The guy who owns it outsourced the job to some indian folks who filled it with at shitton of plugins, and now it's both ugly as hell and a bitch to work with...
FML.

My fucking work challenges:
1. "Talk to this thing over the internet" what language does it speak? Fuck knows
2. "Make sure all the files are correct in the server" Our server plan only allows 3 requests per second, and someone is pinging it. Can't do shit.
3. "Shit broke!" You broke it. It was working fine. In fact, all our problems stem from that 1 thing you broke!
4. "Stay here all night" The hallway to the bathroom's door is locked. I can go to my workstation but have to go outside to get to the bathroom!

Fuck, its like you don't want me to succeed

I'm about to take my first real vacation in about a year. One of the things I'm most looking forward to? Time to work on personal projects.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

...He hired a shit dev who did the same work in 3 times less than what I asked for.

He's now back crying to fix his Fuck up.

You ask how I know he is shit. He SSH-ed into the server. Worked directly off the production files. Worst of all, he installed phpmyadmin, changed the db structure without even writing a fucking migration !!!

How the hell am I supposed to know what he changed!! It's gonna be a long night 😥

Fucking people, why the hell are you reading into things instead of asking for clarification if something is unclear?

So much time, sweat and tears wasted on miscommunication.

When I said, "there might be a problem in the way component X method Y was implemented", i didnt mean go refactor the entire code of the component. Why waste 2 days of work on unnecessary refactor that nobody wanted and breaks changes + the bug is not fully fixed 😤

I wish I had a 💲 for every time my refactoring broke something.

Me: I have so much to do! How the hell am I going to get all this done?!

**hears someone say something about some framework/library I don't know**

Me: hmmm let me google that real quick then I'll get back to work...

**3 hours later**

Me: damnit! I'm never going to get my work done!

Seriously, how the fuck is it possible for someone to be a senior engineer after only 1.5 years in the industry?

I have been working for 5 years and I don't dare to say it because I have seen real seniors with 15+ years of work experience and how they work. A completely different level. Hell, I refuse opportunities that announce they want senior engineers for that reason.

This career is so stressful. Who the hell thought of bringing our product to customers just before Christmas. Whyy... What did your mother do to you. Jesus f** christ.

How do ya’ll deal with stress at work?

*needs to repartition disks
*is mounted, need live usb
*download and burn gparted live, ≈20min
*reboot, usb not bootable
*try again, maybe it's corrupt...
* nope it just won't boot
*download and burn puppy Linux ≈20min
*is bootable
*installs gparted
*opens gparted
*repartition disks
*NOPE
*e2fsck failed: get a newer version of e2fsck
*already the latest version
*hmmm, maybe if I build it myself
*dependency hell
*dependency hell
*dependency hell
*give up
*download and burn Debian live ≈40min
*try to install gparted
*can't get WiFi drivers working
*give up
*download and burn Ubuntu
*opens gparted (already installed)
*partitions disk, leaves to complete overnight (it will have to move ≈60GiB)
*comes back in morning
*computer went to sleep after 10 mins
*late to work but oh well I at least got it done

there has to be a special place in hell for people who don't set their mobile phones to vibration while in office.
no john, latest tv show theme song as ringtone is not going to make you cool. you are just disturbing others.

something i (we) don't have to face in remote work. multiple folks around my seat had their ringer on.

I've taken more work than I should... now I'm sitting here on a status call. And it is 21:00 Saturday. And I started at 08:00. And I work at least 10 hours tomorrow. And this lasts for couple of months. And fuck my fucking logic and why the fuck did I allow myself this hell! Fuck!

Well since I cannot post my work setup due to post-its with 'important stuff' (NDA, not passwords, mind you!!😋) & a lot of curse words & other stuff.. I decided to shame, I mean share my home laptop.. Most of the time, he is lurking in the shadows, trying to upgrade shamelessly whenever I need to use it, occasionally he embarrasses me in front of clients, or makes my summer days at sea a living hell..
So here he is! Everyone, meet LOKI!! :/

Boss yelled at lead mobile dev for low productivity because the project manager present him wrong timetables and added accidentally one more week of work.

Next day boss yelled at the lead mobile dev cause the back end wasnt working well.

Project manager and lead back end developer enjoy life! Front is hell :P

Just when I was getting used to working from home, my stupid friend made my life even more hell.

I live in a 1 bhk apartment. It's just enough for 3 guys to live comfortably. Now this stupid friend has brought in 3 of his friends since lockdown started and it looks like they are here to stay unless offices start functioning again.

I'm not a smoker and I don't like drinking every other day. Ever since his friend's moved in, it smells like I'm living in a chimney and they drink evey other day.

I don't like their lifestyle or work ethics. I try to blend in but it's a hell here for me trying to focus on my work and goals.

I'm just lucky they haven't brought in any corona yet.

I'm currently interviewing for a new job and I hope it will help me get out of this shit hole as soon as possible.

I have declined their offer for me to drink because I really want this new job. Now, I'm that odd guy in the group who doesn't drink or smoke.

Smh

I want to be the CTO in ten years. I'm 25 now, and think it's possible. My former boss was the CTO and he inspired the hell out of me to work hard and invest in myself. I have a lot to learn but I'm eager to figure it out.

I'm pissed off as fuck. By far these were the worst fucking 2 weeks in a very long time.

My grandma died. At work I had to do shitty tasks and IT support for stupid end users, like an overpayed PC technician. I couldn't find any time to write a single line of code on any of my personal projects.

And I still can't find a fucking developer job. I feel like I'm stuck in this IT hell forever.

Kill me

fucked up my hand, spent entire work coding like on a typewriter.

for those who want to know, dropped coffee dripper on my hand, full of hot water. it was a first degree burn thankfully, water wasn't that hot. hurt like hell at first, but it's much better already. by monday I'll be ready to be fully exploited for my work again 👍

If linux is used and maintained by professional power users mostly, why on earth does it never gets good support for basic things Windows does?

Screen dims while playing video, configuring lock screen to work with DM sucks as hell, you even have to define most keyboard shortcuts manually, Optimus GPU setup always buggy, you have to spend some time just configuring power management to work just fine.

We really need to fix this. I mean I am a Linux addict but time is money too.

Let's try this.

In the project I'm working there is an strict rule : NO COMMENTS!!!

I mean wth, the times I've spend hours trying to understand the crappy legacy code in VB.Net that has been there almost decades, that wouldn't happen with comments, I know i know there are some supernatural developers that think in binary and their eyes work as compilers, but I'm not like that, so seriously go to hell.

P.S. Of course I follow that rule, after all, my code is so damn perfect that even a baby can understand it.

jk

GOD DAMN THE STUPID IPTABLES, aaaaah!

Today I learned that
iptables -I INPUT -i !lo -j DROP
and
iptables -I INPUT ! -i lo -j DROP

are two completely different rules, the first of which doesn't work (in ~99.9% of cases)

yet both pass and get added to the firewall. And both rules show exactly the same in the state listing (iptables -L -n -v).

And I was wondering why the hell the firewall wasn't working...

It's a Friday morning I'm tired as hell after a hard week. trying to plough through all my work earphones in, music really loud. Sales guy in the office tries to talk to me i didn't hear him as my earphones were in he then says "you need to turn your music down or turn it off if you can't hear us" he said this in this serious tone. *music gets louder* to drown his noise out.

Me: ok let's clone my repo and work on adding some legit features!
NBN: hm, I see you're trying to use the internet, I think I'll go down now!

Fucking hell -,-

>"Maybe I should start upgrading to CakePHP4"
>*dependency hell*
>*solves dependency hell after 6 hours*
>"Finally I can get to work"
>*App has broken all over the place due to app not properly showing deprecations beforehand*
"Motherfuckers"

I must use windows at work and after 5 years of using mac I can say that windows is fucking loud, fucking beeps everywhere. Like you fucking do anything that has no results it’s beep - that’s fucking crazy I feel like I’m on some fucking road with assholes all over the place beeping on me.

I can work in silence on my mac, no software beeps by default.

Fucking Hell how can you listen to beep all day ?

hsctf (high school capture the flag)

Sounds fun
Looks fun

first hurdle: you gotta have a mail server that accepts RFC uncompliant emails
second hurdle: even when you have it the acceptation link won't work
third hurdle: its FUCKING IN PYTHON
FUCKING HELL

If this how you wanna educate your youth, the for gods sake, die

Guys, I have all symptoms of wasting time in bad work (can't stop thinking about it, anxious, can't relax, can't focus on a hobby, etc.)

But - how the hell you can know if next company won't be even worse? How can you be at least basically sure that today's "bad" isn't that bad in comparison to your next employer?

I got the job offer XD it's not a big pay increase from what I was making before, but honestly I'd have taken a pay cut to get out of my current fucking job. Hell, I was one more overly dramatic angry email away from quitting on the spot and going to work as a stock boy in some walmart or something.

So, the other day, I was working on a Angular Web app which included the YouTube Api. In the event listener, I wrote that when a video ended, a next one would start (from our database).
Guess what. It didn't work.
Then, I wrote a console.log();
It freaking worked! Then, I removed the console.log. It didn't. I tested cases for like half an hour and it still baffles me, why the hell would an output change everything?
devGod works on mysterious ways...

I want to pause my music so I can focus, but I have two co-workers right next to me who are working in a problem. I could take my laptop somewhere else, but I would rather they just shut the hell up, or go book a damn conference room.

I could just say that .. or just be lazy and post about it on dev rant. 😅

Also, fuck open workspaces. I never though I'd miss the cubical, but the open work space is a new level of hell.

Unexpected downside to using a Windows VM for dev related work : once my Windows host (finally) finished updating, I powered on the VM...and that started updating too. FML :/

Holy shit. In a meeting that literally makes no sense. We're taking credit for work by claiming story points. Story points. How the hell does that work? Especially since we have told management CONSTANTLY that story points are abstract LOE shit and NOT time spent. Yet I suggest if we REALLY want to estimate who worked what we track time spent I get shot down. You can't get a concrete measurement from an abstract concept. Also, we're being encouraged to argue over who does what? What does THAT help? AND we're not even reestimating if we over or under estimating, but being forced to massage our numbers into the estimate. What the fuck?

aaarghh i left my laptop at home and now im bored as hell at work. i had things planned out for today and now i cant do them cause i dont have my laptop with me for 2 hours. the computers at work dont have everything i need :(

Like who the hell invented that work days start at 8 am? Can people actually concentrate from the moment they arrive at work? For me it is 9 am till I get some work done

Hm.

Was very frustrated from work.

Started cooking.

Simple gnocchis with tomato / paprika sauce.

Might have been a little distracted...

I've grabbed a regular sized spoon instead of a tea spoon.

I've handmade ungarian puszta.

I've added a full spoon of it to the sauce.

It's very spicy and hot.

I'll guess my guts are in hell mode for the next days.

But it's delicious.

Remember kids: always eat up what you cooked.

Even if it seems to kill you by burning your insides out.

debug hell

senior: i'm going to read the code changes of the PR that caused this bug, many files , lots of lines of code to see if i can suss out this issue

me: skimmed the PR, i give up, unga bunga time, time to compare the variables in the debugger between the different implementations, found the difference

due credit, the unga bunga approach worked this time, might nto always work

College Senior Thesis is done. Wrote the whole fucker as a Spring Boot Microserivce and my brain is fucking jello after 4 straight months of work.

I need something lightweight, I need something fun to code as I wind down at the end of the year.
I think I'll play around with Node.js and Typescript and learn about this docker thing people keep talking about before I go back to Java exception hell.

I'm not ready to be a Jr Dev next year. I'm too young to work this kind of job for the next 40 years.

When you get into good company but end up in bad team. Worst thing to happen. I want to quit. But as of now I don't have any option.

I am way too triggered. Any one tries messing with me anymore at work, I won't be able to stop myself. I am gonna shout....take out all my anger. To hell with you assholez! I don't care if you get me kicked out of team or job! I can't take it anymore. FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!

Is it me or freelancing jobs at Freelancer are incredibly vague.

Jobs titled "build me a website" with descriptions like "I need an expert dev to work on a python website".

How the hell can you put a price and time to it?!
Am I missing something here? I'm totally new at this and it's kinda baffling.

FUCKING HATE VUE 3

It's pointless, it's not an incremented version of Vue 2, it's basically a completely different framework, probably one nice to start a project with... But migrating from an existing Vue 2 project to Vue 3...

What the hell were they thinking!

first, setup() with all the logic and functions in it DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE to me!
second, your old DEPENDENCIES NO LONGER WORK!.. good luck finding replacements for EVERYTHING, and do the necessary adjustments to work with the LASAGNA CODE YOUR PROJECT HAS BECOME!!

PS: the update/upgrade PR has almost 300 changed files!!!!

If Windows 10 could stop deleting my entire UserProfile at work, that would be great... Fucking hell...! I hate Mondays...

FUCK YEAH! FUCKING HELL FUCK YEAH! IT FUCKING WORKED! THE FUCKING CODE FINALLY COMPILED PROPERLY!
What happened:
I was trying to use the Adafruit Feather HUZZA esp8266 with the AdafruitHTTPClient Library... and it didnt work... then I downgraded THE FUCKING FIRMWARE FROM 2.5.0 TO 2.4.2 AND THE BLOODY THING COMPILED!

My brain these days-
1] Okay I will get this done today
2] Oh wait how does this work
3] What the hell is happening
4] Going deeper down the rabbit hole
5] I am so lost. HELP
6] Okkk, this makes sense, but I have to figure out how another 10 parts of the code, to see how it works and then add my code
7] I wanna give up.

omfg. I hate this bullshit so much...
windows wont goddamn work after the anniversary update. it takes infinitely long to boot up , the searcj is not working , I am goddamn lagging for some fricking reason. what the hell Microsoft ?

The thing that I most hate is when you're approaching a new framework/tool, you follow the official documentation and the first example doesn't work.
I'm trying the official documentation of webpack, I tried the first example and guess! Error! It says that's probably a breaking change. Where the hell should I learn it? I don't have the crystal ball, should I guess how your fucking tool fucking works? Oh my god, it's ok if you introduced breaking changes, but just update all the references, is it so hard?

I work remotely from the rest of my team and I just came back from a 1 week vacation. Logged in this morning and no one else was online...

My first thought was WTF happened... did something blow up do bad they all gelot fired???

Turns out today is a holiday for them. So now I've a whole day of peace and quiet to figure out what the hell in supposed to be doing again.

Just searched for an e-mail in Outlook on my work computer, and expected the last e-mail I had sent to be at the top of the results list. But it wasn't there…

Then I saw that above the dates in the results list, Outlook now has a category 'Top Results'. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NOW? FACEBOOK OR SOMETHING?

FUCKING HELL!

so I work at a mid size agency as full stack dev, the only one, at almost 1 year and just found out that my boss is trying to sell wix websites to clients LOL
I don't know what the hell is he trying to do...

Maybe it's just me, but taking dev work from a little side gig to a salaried career is more difficult than I thought it'd be. Soooo many applications going out with nothing back, recruiters ghosting...maybe it's just a bad time for jobs in general but good lord is it exhausting and stressing me the hell out.

its 2:30 here and ill have to wake up for work at 7:00 and im trying to figure out what the hell is redux

Hell yea, gotta finish my prep project for my bachelor's thesis so I've been coding every day since the beginning of the holidays.

To be perfectly honest with you I love it! It's like a 9-5 job, no classes at uni, just work and coffee breaks and I even got to go back to my parent's house for two weeks which is wonderful.

I wish that uni could always be like that though, gotta make the most of those two weeks

Things fuck up when people start playing politics.

Why can't people just work peacefully.

Fucking egoistic jerks. I'd burn such people, if I can.

At this point, I'd honestly take the Facebook offer when I get selected there.

This motherfucking team is full of assholes trying to make our lives hell.

Ik I've said this before, but I HATE FLEXBOX!

FUCKING HELL!

Ok, back to work.

Learn to say no...more than anything I just want to help my fellow engineers. Now I am so loaded with so much work that 3 people couldn't poorly do my job. No relief in sight and all I get are unrealistic deadlines and poor criticism when my work is better than anything that was done previously.

Someone tell me why the hell I wanted to do this line of work again?

our government's work documentation is digital now. 2 hours to convince a facial recognition app that i have a face just so i can start my job. fucking hell

Had to work with a lazy, stupid idiot who (literally) couldn't declare an empty string. Got in via nepotism and not only were there no basics but also no willingness to improve.
Something tells me that throwing someone out shouldn't be a pleasant thing to do but hell, I'm so happy that we can finally stop carrying that piece of dead weight and get back to pure coding without having to teach Programming 101 on the side.

Devs with young kids: how the hell do you do it?

I am a foster parent for my cousin who is 4 months old and I don’t know how in the fuck to make this work. How do you do it? How do you balance code and kid?

For reference I work full time at a tech support place, I go to school full time, and I’m trying to pivot into software development, which means any free time is spent coding/studying code/building a portfolio. Problem is I don’t have free time because of the baby. How in the hell do people do this.

Can I just say, I hate migraines. There is nothing worse than trying to focus with a worm gnawing at ones eyeball. Ended up leaving work at 13:00, wishing I could teleport home. I take that back; driving for an hour with a migraine is worse. Almost 19:00 and it is finally gone.

When you get to work with the Analytics side if the warehouse and one of the guys wants you to learn d3. Js to take a csv to make a html site.

Me: hell Yeah can't wait to make crazy circle graphs and line graphs for everyone in analytics

Analytics: Oh, we just need you to take the csv files and copy the same excel format to a html site. So, table, table, table, table.

Me: so...... No visualization graph

Analytics: No.

So... We're going to totally rewrite one of our web applications at work. It's currently written using the .NET framework, and we're moving to Node.js instead. For me, that's absolutely wonderful! Outside work I practically only work with Node, so I'm happy. There is just one thing that's bothering me. My colleague wants to use MySQL for the database. Even worse is that he's the one deciding, since I started working there just a couple of weeks ago.

Now, I really, really want to use Mongodb. It integrates so wonderfully with Node together with Mongoose, and just the thought of using JSON everywhere makes my body shiver of satisfaction.

So therefore I have two questions.

A. Would you prefer Mongodb over MySQL for a node application?
B. How the hell can I convince him to use Mongodb?!

Cheers!

Start my days at 6am local to be able to have an entire days’ worth of access to my team because they’re all East Coast and I’m Pacific. And then work until it’s 5pm local regularly because I lose track of time. And then I can’t just turn it off at night, so then I’m restless thinking about the things I could be doing to make the project better.

How the hell do the rest of you stop thinking about work after work?

Today was a bad dev day working on a shitty React project. Not that React in itself is bad, but it can be hell to work with when the code is a big pile a crap full of anti pattern code. I spent the day refactoring to try to fix a bug, but to no avail. It would take days if not weeks to put some order in this mess and to prevent such bugs.

You know what's bullshit? CS Degrees as a requirement, even for the shittiest dev jobs.

Sorry fuckers, I don't feel like killing myself over fucking math bullcrap for 3 goddamn years just to work as an intern slave for some rich CEO who prefers to hire some guy who doesn't know shit about actual working with computers but has a degree.

And this horseshit happens only in dev jobs. Why. Are devs some fucking nuclear scientists or something? I work as sysadmin and they didn't ask me for any shit degree and I earn more than the average code monkey where I live.

Goddamn HR fuckers. May Allah take you to hell.

Why the hell people add me on LinkedIn for like no reason? Why do people do that?

I mean, "John Doe wants to connect". Ok, let's see, maybe I know him... "John Doe, Chemical Engineer living in Argentina"

WTH man? I don't know you, I don't work with chemicals, I don't live near Argentina, and we do not have anyone in common!

Unless you're a recruiter; if I don't know you and you don't specify why you wanna connect with me, I'll ignore your request.

I love to be free after load of work. It relaxes me. Downside is that it makes me lazy as hell 😞

My company insists on working in one production environment to save time and every time I try to convince them to set up a work flow with a dev and test environment, they tell me we don't have the time...

Even after I set one up anyway as I'm scared shitless to touch production. They tell me it's faster doing it all in one environment.

They launch an update. Site buggy as hell and doesn't load 90% of the content...

Sigh....

Working at a start-up company and i must confess its blood sucking like you've got some vampires sucking life out of you. I have to work like a donkey or camel and sometimes feel like am right in the middle of hell , lots of requirements, changes, fixes, updates, and more products stuffs that pissed you up, I don't know what am feeling right now but I only know am coding and have to take some shit feelings out!!!!

Fucking hell my Chromebook is a confusing little cunt...

I use the Samsung Chromebook plus with a 64 bit based ARM CPU but the chromeOS installation is 32 bit... Buuuuuut it will prefer 64 bit android applications and runs the Linux container at 64 bit!

How does that even fucking work?!?!

(Yes I know Google blah blah, privacy blah, your opinion is noted and ignored ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Recruiter called me to present me a job in fintech.

Arguing about how work standards are important and that task oriented work culture is great.

....

Recruiter (can’t find any argument): All people work in office. It’s financial institution they need to protect privacy.

Me: AWS on last summit presented show case of whole bank from EU in their cloud infrastructure.

....

And we argued for at least 10 minutes where me was talking about losing time and task oriented workplace with specified goals and listening about how brilliant people are there and how much they believe in opensource.

I started believing they want me to go to work to indoctrinate me and make me corporate pig.

Hell no I am to old for that.

“Huddles don't work in safari 🤡,” Slack said.
Develop → User Agent → Google Chrome.
Boom, huddles suddenly work in Safari, and my today's huddle went absolutely fine.

Yep, I switched to Safari as my default browser. Previously, I didn't use it solely because YouTube's full-screen mode acted weird, but now I quit watching YouTube altogether.

Safari is a stellar browser. First, it wipes the floor with everything, even including Thorium, in the performance department (on Apple Silicon at least). Second, it's really beautiful with its new inline tab panel, where you have just one line of icons on top, instead of having two (tabs and url bar). DevTools are amazing. It can also connect to my iPhone's Safari via Wi-Fi and inspect the opened page — a must-have for heavy layouts. Plus, if my website works fine in Safari, it sure as hell will work fine everywhere. Safari is a great hack detector, as it won't tolerate dirty hacks. Works wonders for your code discipline.

Well, this one was very satisfying.

When I resigned from my previous job, there was this one last task I had to finish. The task was to implement an identity and access management system that would work across three different platforms they had. I used to work on one of them which had nothing of the sort but the other two had something of their own. Here lies the kicker, it had to work with existing authorization system in other two platforms. After explaining multiple times why that is a bad idea, I gave up. I created an interface, no implementation, documented how the interface was meant to be used and got the hell out of there.

Dear Webdevs who are able to use bootstrap and CSS properly. I appreciate ur work but hell fucking shitfuck I can't get my mind about it to work. FUCK this piece of container loving table ruining and not aligneable dump

Fucking docker swarm. Why the hell do they have to change the way it works so damn often. Find a good workthough and its not fucking valid anymore cause swarm doesnt use consul to catalog swarm nodes anymore. Well fuck thanks docker now i have to rethink my architecture cause you fuckers wanted to do something half assed.

Sad fucking thing is the change that made you do that shit in the first place doesn't work right for ssl so your damn mesh network is fucking useless for any real world uses unless people like me rig the fucking hell out off it.

Another fucking thing how the hell haven't these fucktards added a shared storage yet, come the fuck on.

Being a full stack developer has been an amazing journey. Looking at a project and understanding how the entire stack work starting from the mobile apps, APIs and DB is a total bless.

Nevertheless, lately switching context between modern languages has been extremely frustrating.

Swift looks like kotlin, elixir looks like ruby. Hell even swift and ruby are very similar.

Writing ruby in Xcode and wondering why the fuck Xcode complaining. Well no shit, swift is not ruby. Took me 5 mins of head scratching to notice it 😢

Hell I am now writing down the latest language I am working with on my hand to keep track 😂

Don't understand why interviewers ask such stupid questions like where do you see yourself in 5 years?
If I goddamn knew why the hell would I be applying here.
Also why do you want to join our company?
The obvious answer is money. end of story. Why do you expect me to say the work environment blah blah blah

Why the hell am I so talkative!!!!!
I think it's better I work alone so that I be less of an annoy for others...
Side-effects of me working at day time..
Missing working at night time all alone..

sudo pacman -Syu --force
sudo reboot

Openfire and owncloud no longer work.

sudo systemstl status openfire

Java exception relating to SQL.

sudo systemstl status mariadb

No such service mariadb

WTF why would that get uninstalled, how the hell.

sudo pacman -S mariadb

Everything now works again

Arch can be a confusing place

😺

Maybe that force was a bad idea.

Alright apache2.2 with php5.6 session upload progress works, client has apache2.4 and php7 on his server...now... WHY THE HELL DON'T IT WORK. All THE DAMN REQUIREMENTS ON THE DAMN DOCS ARE THERE. Fuck i could have went to bed and made the same progress

What the hell is wrong with the browser on iOS....
For Christ sakes almost no input attributes work. I have a Sign Up feature that validates passwords with a pattern attribute; doesn't work, required attribute; doesn't work, input type number; doesn't work.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing. Even Internet Explorer knows what those attributes means. Absolute joke now i need to implement it manually. Fuck off apple.

How do you deal with a developer that constantly challenges your propositions in a rhetorical matter?

For example, say if we have a problem and I propose solution A (along with my reasons why), the developer would then shoot it down - not with another alternative solution or exploration path but instead a rhetorical question.

It has gotten *exhausting* working with this person because every interaction becomes almost a debate. This isn’t just particularly with development but even during casual discussions.

I’ve even tried asking “so what would you suggest?” in which they would answer with confidence in a rhetorical matter - but without any concrete decision making (but at the same time sounding like they did make one).

We work in a team and nobody has taken the reigns of leadership (he’s quiet most meetings), so I decided to take initiative and make the calls. All of a sudden, he has a voice that is mostly axed towards being argumentative than productive. It has come to a point where I’ve just stopped making propositions because I’ve become exhausted trying to defend myself and literally repeating something like 4-5 times, however this is a project that needs to be delivered and because we work closely together, I can’t just ignore him and do my own thing.

Rage ? at work ?
my employer says I'm already toxic and ungrateful. If i get a third bad adjective ill be out of the door !

Judging by the work load and type im getting these days id say they are trying to get me to open that door and leave myself.

Hell, i would love to if i were not being ghosted by other companies or offered less compensation

Fucking fuck fuck hell.

My grandfather Bought a 50€ doogee phone.
After one month, it started showing advertizuments randomly.

I installed a firewall, but now it opens a different advertizinc in my Browser every few hours.

WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA?

O AND:one tap root doesnt work

I often get angry at clients. Especially when keep trying to sneak in new requirements into an already frozen project. Like, were you asleep when we went through a month of design and vetted every pixel with you? Grateful the PM handles them with finesse.

In your earlier years. Try to work in a startup. Don't go for corporate life yet. You will learn hell of a lot in a small startup.

And also if you are doing job hunting just spam the recruiters and top officials of the company in LinkedIn until you get an interview setup. Because fuck it you need a job !

Well, atom won't open. SO, what's the next free editor I will learn to use, configure exactly right, and then need to abandon because it won't fucking open for no apparent reason?

Sure, I could become a certified Atom expert and learn exactly what is going on, but I HAVE FUCKING WORK THAT IS DUE WHAT THE FUCKING HELL

Wishing I could afford PyCharm, maybe I will just try the trial since EVERY editor I have ever used eventually becomes unusable at some point.

Hate grows inside my soul when you are talking about a new feature and it's implications in the code base. Then you suggest a first approach, everyone agrees but one, someone whos rotten soul is craving for bloodshed, someone who says something like "Hell now, that's too much work" and then after hours of arguing he/she/it proposes the exact same approach... saying it's a better way.

My career is perpetually doubting / questioning my skill set while making steady progress and receiving praise.

Whether its for personal projects or work (interning) I feel so delayed and unskilled, yet I know I've made a hell of a lot of progress and wouldn't even recognize the me I am now

What is this dichotomy

Got my first job in a web development company. I am on a trial period, which means at the end of two weeks they will evaluate my performance and give me a full time contact. As a trial I am given task to work on internal CMS system. And OMG!! the coding is horrible. I think someone can start from scratch and redo the entire thing faster the adding new features to that piece of Hell!! Am worried after 2 weeks my performance is going to look bad.

Working on something...

-Hun?! Why the hell doesn't it work?

Attempt a few fixes...

-Still doesn't work? Damn what am i doing wrong?

Attempt other changes...

-Why is it still not working!?

Debug step by step, validate my values are fine...

-Why does my output not correspond to my values!?! What the hell is this black magic!?

Rebuild the same solution for the 5th time...

-...Why does it work now...

Good input field design. Every time I press enter it sent the message. From subsequent tries, ctrl+enter, shift+enter did not work.

hell of
a
claim report.

ps. don't use parcelforce to courier your PC...

The usual... press F to pay respects.

I have do optimize a website to work in internet explorer... Hell no, but have to.
Which version will you then say that it should at least work in? Just the newest one.
I don't think I can get it to work in every single old internet explorer, but maybe the newest one could be possible.

Just TYPO3 things:

in your config constants doing "styles.content.textmedia.maxWInText = 450" should basically crop all your images to a maximum width of 450 using ImageMagick except TYPO3 flips it's shit and won't do it.

After about an hour or so of debugging and guessing around with 2 other developers setting "styles.content.textmedia.maxWInText" to "500" will actually work. Every other number except 450 works.

Using TYPO3 is like preparing for hell.