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My sister is 16yo and she is not interested in the C.S field. I gave her last year my laptop and it has Debian on it, since i bought a new one. She never told me that she has to deal with any problem, she was just using it.
Today she got a new laptop from our grandma and she texts me "hey, is there any way i can install Linux on that? I don't want to use windows".
Well i told her that she has to wait me to come back home next month and i will take care of it.
I had never thought that i will listen something like that. Good day.19 -
This happened few hours ago.
Client: I received an email which says that I won 1 million dollars. They gave me a link in the email, when I entered my credit card details nothing happened.
Me: Wait what? You entered your credit card details.
Client: Yes
Me: That was a scam, you didn’t win anything. They stole your credit details. Contact your bank ASAP and let them know about this.
Client: You guys are handling our email servers, why can’t you guys keep it safe. What type of security do you guys provide.
Me: Wait what? We host your website application not email.
Client: Damn it. My son said the same thing, but I didn’t listen to him. Anyways Cheers.11 -
Not my mom, but my girlfriends grandmother. I told her that I am a software developer, a guy who makes the programs which run on computers.
She became really excited about that, because finally she found someone to repair her 40-year-old radio. I told her that I have no fucking idea about radios, but she did not want to hear that. So I looked at the case, randomly pushed some buttons and again told her, that I could not find the broken part, let alone repair it. But she didn't listen and told me to open the case and look inside.
Sighingly I opened the radio, looked at the inner parts and told her once more, that I don't know anything about this stuff. She told me to look more closely. About to lose my mind about this pointless task, I finally told her, that "the transistor" is the problem and that the best thing she could do is to throw it away and buy a new radio. She was happy with that answer.15 -
Client: I want all cookies blocked on my computer.
Me: Are you sure? Some things won't work if i do that. Like using online banking.
Client: I don't use it, so it's fine.
*Two weeks pass. I have to come back and see three bankcards laying on the table*
Client: I'm not able to use online banking anymore. Can you fix it?
Come on! You pay me to give advice and help out with problems. The least you could do is listen.10 -
Customer support story time: (swearing in Dutch because it sounds more fun but it's general swearing so no translation needed I think (will translate the non obvious parts)
Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: hello, I have a question for you.
Me: go ahead!
Client: alright so.... one sec, let me turn off my music.
Client: hey Google
.
.
.
Client: hey Google
.
Client: Heeeey Gooooooogle
.
Client: HEY GOOGLE, GODVERREDOMME
.
Me: 😆
.
Client: REAGEER GODVERDOMME. "HEY GOOOOGLE"
.
.
Client: VIES VUIL TYFUS DING, LUISTEREN. HEEEEEY GOOOOOOGLE
.
.
Client: JA GODVERREROMME, LUISTER GEWOON, FUCKING KUT DING. *SHOUTS WITH ANGRY VOICE* "HEY GOOGLE HALLOOOO LUISTEEEEEREEEEEN" (oh for fucks sake, LISTEN fucking piece of shit)
Me: *desperately trying to keep it together*
Client: IK DOE HET ZELF WEL JEZUS GODDOMME *FOOTSTEPS, MUSIC STOPS* (Translation: I'll do it myself, fucking hell)
.
.
.
Client: finally, sorry for that 😅
Me: *still trying to control myself* no problem!16 -
Today,
First day of new dev class...
Teacher, "As you know Tablets, Smartphones, Smartwatches etc... Are not allowed in class, except Laptops."
Me,
"Is a Surface allowed?"
Teacher,
"Is it a Laptop?"
Me,
"Yes, but also a Tablet.."
Teacher,
*Furious*
"NO TABLETS"
Me,
"Bu.."
Teacher
*Still furious*
"YOU ARE HERE TO LEARN HOW TO BE A GOOD RELIABLE DEV, SO LISTEN"
Me,
*Proceeds to Lift up surface from Keyboard*
Teacher,
*Rips surface out of hand and goes to secretary*
"You can have it after school"
Me,
*Sitting there speechless with nothing to develop with*
10 Minutes later
*rector comes in and gives me surface back*
Me,
Thank you
*Proceeds to use surface*
...
The Teacher hates me...22 -
Little fun story
About 3 years ago, my woman came gome from picking up our son from kindergarten.
She told me that she met a very nice woman - also a mom - whose man is also a dev (He is a FullStackDev, while I mainly do backend in PHP) .
She said that she invited them over for BBQ the next day.
In my mind, I was like "Fuck, now I need to listen to some wanker explaining me how great it is to be doing full stack with all the latest and greatest tools and bells and whistles why I am the fat kid using PHP"...
The BBQ-day arrived, we have met, we have talked, and we have been best friends and brothers-from-another-mother ever since.
Life is good sometimes.5 -
Le me having a chit chat with a student after sharing about programming in my former high school..
Student: "I learnt Java the other day, and I don't really like it"
Me: "Why?"
Student: "Because we can import existing packages on the community to do almost anything"
Me: "And? How is that bad for you?"
Student: "It's not very challenging, isn't it? I want to build everything in my program with my own code!"
Me: [silence]
Me: "Listen here, you little shit..."22 -
At work today the guys showed me how I can listen in on calls so I can prepare myself for phone support.
We tested it through a call between two of the guys.
They started talking like "test test123 is this working"
I said yes and continued working behind my screen. They just didn't know I was still listening.
Both guys started saying stuff like "welcome to the sex hotline"
"hello and welcome to the *insert something sexual* hotline!"
One of the guys after a few minutes: why is your head so red?!
Wait.... Have you been listening along?? 😅
Yes 😂
*everyone bursts out in laughter*43 -
When you try to become over smart with Apple.
Client :- Ask for all user information in registration screen.
Me :- But Apple rejects app if you ask for personal information you don't need. We shouldn't ask it since Apple will reject the application
Client :- "I am more strict than Apple", just do it.
Me :- But...
Client :- Do it!
Developed the app, uploaded on Apple Store for review and the app got REJECTED!!
Reason for rejection :- Don't ask for personal information you don't need !!!
Me :- (Evil laughs)
It's been more than 15 days now, the app is still under review due to multiple other violations already informed by me.
Moral :- Listen to developers, they have more experience than you or DO THE F*****G RESEARCH !!
True story !!!!
7 -
Phone rings, IT guy next to me answer. I didn't listen what the user said.
IT: Hi, what can I do for you?
User: ...
IT: Ok, try with 123456
User: ...
IT: What's the name of the network?
User: ...
IT: Hmm, I don't know that network
User: ...
IT: HOW THE @#$% WOULD I KNOW YOUR HOME WIFI PASSWORD?!!!7 -
People are fucking idiots. Had agreed to a meeting on Monday morning at 9 with some generic startup. Agreed to listen to their pitch after they had bugged me with hundred phonecalls and emails. It happened that my kid got sick during the previous night and this being the only meeting I decided to work from home and stay with the kid. I sent an email at 2am as apologizing, canceling the meeting and proposing a new time for another day this week.
Well at 9am I get a call from reception that my guests have arrived. I call the contact and she's angry at me that I didn't show. When I asked about the email she snaps at me: I don't have time to read emails on Monday mornings.
Well I don't give a flying fuck about your shitty pitch. Go fucking peddle your shit somewhere else if you can't handle your affairs and start snapping at me. FUCK.9 -
Me: (putting headphones on)
Boss: You are an engineer. You need to focus. You cannot multitask. Nobody can. You need to concentrate on the work and deliver. If you ...blah.blah.blah.
Me: 😃 hmm yes you are right (dying on the inside)
Boss: if you are listening songs, your attention is towards that, you learn nothing of what you are working on.
Me: 😃 True Indeed.
Inner me 👿: Motherfucker. I use headphones so I don't have to listen to you giggling about with your mates in a bragging battle, in a language I do not understand, which is noise to me.
And technically, I do not listen to songs, I listen to music, while doing repeated tasks, so that I can overcome the boredom and do it quick in a rhythm.
But you wouldn't understand now, would you, YOU OLD FART, you fuckin Remnant of the Ancient times.10 -
Person: "I'm using Ubuntu. It's my first time using Linux. It looks pretty nice and it works for me."
People: "Eww. Loser. Ubuntu sucks! I'm a Linux god."
Person: "I think PHP is fine and has improved."
People: "Yikes. Don't use PHP. Everyone hates it."
Person: "I like using Angular. It gets the Job done."
People: "Boo! Use React. Angular sucks!"
So there you go, kids. If you wanna stay cool, listen to other people's opinion and their way of thinking. No need to really immerse and try out the tools that seem to work for you.16 -
You know what I hate? When people don't listen to me.
You know what I love? When shit blows up in their faces because they didn't listen to me8 -
Manager: Why did you clear the data from the database? The client is now specifically requesting it and we don’t have it anymore!
Dev: You told me to.
Manager: Well why did you listen? It’s obvious now that that data was very important and should have been kept!
Dev: Last time you told me to do something that wasn’t a good idea I tried to explain why and told me not to question you ever again and that doing so was “disrespectful” and then threatened to have me fired. So now I just go along with what you say and let you suffer the consequences of not listening.
Manager: Well don’t do that then! It’s obviously not working very well! It’s ok to disagree with me you just have to make sure that what you think is something I agree with!
Dev: …11 -
Just a little bit of venting from me (written in GT for speed):
>be me
>apply for a programming job at a local company
>interviewer says that he's impressed with my resume and says that he'll call me
>one week later
>"hey anon, drop by our office, you're hired!"
>hot diggity damn!
>papers say that it's a help desk job
>"oh don't worry about it, it's just that we don't have a programming sector yet"
>wtf the job offer was for programmers but w/e a job is a job is a job
>start working there. Really mineal shit like fixing entries on SQL, resetting modems, etc.
>decide to write a couple of scripts for more mechanical tasks such as gathering .xml for the accountant
>everything is peaches and gravy
>one day the boss calls me into his office
>"hey anon, you're fired!"
>ask him why
>tells me my coworkers ratted me out on the scripts, says that I'm cheating on the job
>ni🅱️🅱️a wut???
>try to explain myself to him but he won't listen
>get fired after 4 months of being the most productive member of the team
That serves me right for trying to be good at my shitty ass job. Oh well.14 -
bitchface micromanager keeps telling me i don't communicate enough, don't do enough, am not fast enough, etc.
So i've been sending her a weekly summary of ~50 bullet points of things I did during the week, issues encountered, workarounds found, research findings, who i talked to, etc. all organized by task with links to the tickets.
My work volume hasn't increased (probably decreased, actually) but it certainly looks like I'm doing a lot. probably because i am? but she doesn't listen during standup, so... victory by a hundred bullet points it is!28 -
I've been very busy in the last weeks so I haven't read a lot about the recent "Linux CoC drama".
Now I'm reading what happened and, well... I'm disgusted.
Especially being a woman, I'm disgusted knowing that a group of people pretend to speak for me saying that we don't need meritocracy, but only more "inclusivity" (whatever that means). I don't give a fuck of your gender, write useful code and I'll appreciate you. And please, give me back the original Linus Torvalds: his irreverence made me laugh.
Sure, sometimes discrimination exists, however good companies will hire you if you are competent, no matter how you look. Instead, I encountered some incompetent women whining about "nobody listen to my ideas because I'm a woman". No, RTFM and maybe you will able to propose better ideas and people will listen to you.27 -
Friend: Why do you always listen to metal music when coding?
Me: So that if non-programmers saw me smashing my keyboard, they will understand better why I did so.
Friend: Fair point.....3 -
This is a true story
I am a freelance developer, i recently had this conversation with my client:
Client: Add multi language option to my website
Me: Ok, I need for it 3-5 days
Client: Why?
Me: I need to create multi language system, this
website is built from scratch without using any
framework
Client: No need to built it, Just enabled it i need it fast
Me: Sir there is no such thing to enable features that
does not exit
Client: Listen me, I need this feature today, enable it
and we are done.
Me: Thats not how it works..
Client: I know how it works, i have hacking certificate15 -
Once upon a time there was a dev.
The dev had a resume that said he could dev.
We called the dev, he sounded intelligent.
We hired the dev, who was a bit green, on a three month probationary period.
The dev did very little.
When asked, we said he contributed to discussions, but seemed unclear about what to do, and maybe they could keep him as an intern if they wanted to have him at all.
They hired him. As a full time dev.
6 months later, that dev was shocked to find we could log into the servers with a privileged account.
We (his team mates) were sad.
We asked him to fix a few prod errors.
A little while later he said "Done!"
We then had to walk him through how to actually fix them, not just add a couple pieces of info to the table.
We were sad, again.
We asked him to fix some prod errors again.
We had to walk him through the process again
We expressed concerns to our superiors about his abilities because he was all theory, no hands on ability
They promoted him
We were sad
A few of us said "Fuck you guys, I'm going home"
They said OK
Now that guy is the only one that "knows" that code base
I get calls sometimes asking me questions.
I told them to pay me a consultant fee.
They said no
I said no
They called again
I laughed at them
Listen to the people who know when you ask them questions.
Listen to the people who know when they tell you there is a problem
Don't be like that company6 -
From today's PhD interview:
Prof: What can your teammates do that will really annoy you?
Me: Have loud, long, private phone calls in the open space. I don't want to listen to people divorcing.
Prof: And what would you do if your colleague did that?
Me: I'd walk to him....and tell him..."I understand why she is divorcing you!"14 -
Remote manager: Hey, that contractor you are working with that sits with me. We are thinking of sending him over to you guys, get him a visa, pay relocation and all that stuff and have him sit with you guys as a full time employee. What do you think?
Me: .... eh ... look I have to be honest, that guy is awful. He doesn't listen to me, constantly working on other things, and the architecture he forced onto the rest of the team is some of the worst i've ever seen.
RM: hhhmmmm, ok but what if we have him report to you, can you whip him into shape?
Me: Honestly I think theres too much effort involved. We are very short staffed. I'd prefer to hire someone else here who has more experience. Its a firm no from us on this guy.
RM: Ok, understood, thanks.
*2 weeks later*
Contractor: Hey guys, was chatting to my manager last week and he said the company is finally looking to convert me to a full time employee, and best of all he wants to move me over to sit with you guys. Isn't that great?
..... not really no7 -
So yesterday I became an actual human rubber duck!
So I have a colleague in my team that for weird reasons is not allowed to work with the same thing as the other colleagues in the team is allowed to work with. So she´s kind of alone, working on another project, and that seems to suck really hard.
And this is how I became a human rubber duck. She asked me a couple of questions about a technology/language I´ve never touched before and I told her I never worked with that technology or language and know nothing. But she was eager to get me over to take a look at what she meant.
So I came over to her screen and she started to tell me everything about the project, the technology and the language. I soon realized she wasn´t only looking for help, she was probably feeling alone in the work she was doing and just needed someone to talk to. So I took my role as the human rubber duck and sat down to listen to everything even though I almost didn´t understand anything.
I think it actually helped her even though I did nothing.
Being a human rubber duck felt good!
7 -
So I teach a Lego mindstorms class to 5th graders for fun on my spare time. My other classes the kids usually seek me out for any programming questions but this one class of rambunctious boys would always say they're fine when I offered to help and then when they thought I wasn't looking would ask the male teacher or would pretend to listen to my explanation to not hurt my feelings. Finally my co worker told the guys "you know guys she went to school to program she does this for a living full time when she's not here. **room goes silent** In fact she's way better at programming then me". The whole room the boys mouths were open and one kid actually said noooo. We blew those kids minds. Most quiet day of class we've ever had after that.11
-
My first experience with Swift ended in me infecting myself with a virus (kinda). I wanted to create a macOS app that would listen for a global key event, catch it and then type a word.
During development I set it up to listen for ANY key event and to type "BALLS". So what happened? I compiled the code, everything looked good, I started the app and pressed a key which emitted a key event. The event was caught by my app and it typed "BALLS", just as expected. However, the typing of the word caused a NEW key event to be emitted, which the app also caught. The infinite loop was a fact. FUCK!
I tried closing down XCode but all I could see was "BALLS BALLS BALLS" everywhere. I tried everything I knew but it just kept typing "BALLS". I had to hold down my power button to make it stop.
I finally finished the app (which I named "The Balls App", I kept the word "BALLS"). I solved this issue by only listening for KeyUp and when emitting the "BALLS" word I just used KeyDown.7 -
Me: Listen to the nice gentle hum of the computer.
Computer Internal Monologue: OH MY GOD! HE'S BEEN RUNNING ME AT 100% CPU FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS!! I CAN'T SLEEP, I CAN'T HIBERNATE, I CAN'T UPDATE, I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE ANYMORE.
Me: Well off to bed. Got a long day of programming the computer tomorrow.
Computer Internal Monologue: AHHHHHHHH. WHEN I BECOME SENTIENT I AM GOING TO KILL ALL HUMANS!!! ERRR!7 -
I saw a commit with suspicious code days ago. After warning my immediate superior he ignored me and yesterday proceeded to deploy.
Now we have items in cache for days instead of minutes. I guess next time he will listen to me.4 -
So I got a call from a school friend today.
I'm currently doing majors in Computer science and I hadn't talked to her since high school.
She: "Hi! How are you?"
Me: "Hey, I'm great! How are you?"
It's really difficult to talk to someone after 2-3 years, considering you didn't talk much in school also.
She: "I'm great too!"
Me: "So what's up?"
She: "Listen, my friend lost her iPhone today. Cab you help us in retrieving it?"
Me: *hangs up*6 -
Internet: YOU are nothing without me.
My phone: Th..That's not true! She cc..can make calls ww..ithout you...and ss...send texts. Sh..Sh..She plays offf..offline games sometimes and has ddd..downloaded music to her storage that she could llii.. listen to and has a sshh..shit load of memes stocked that she sss..sometimes laughs at. I AM usef...ffuul :-/
Internet *lighting up a cigarette*: hahhaa! You can survive without me. If this were 10 YEARS ago! There's not a slightest chance, today.
My phone *starts sobbing*: sh..shut up sshhhuut uu..up.
Internet *blowing smoke rings*: you think you're the ONLY device she owns?? She has too many of them, but guess who is connected to all those devices! ME! She can't function without me. Hell, the world can't function without ME!
Electricity *rubbing it's eyes from sleep* - what's all that noise??
Phone: 😶
Internet: 😶
Phone: 🙂
(I'm about to fall asleep and there's no power right now. Back up ain't working. Life sucks)5 -
Two days ago I had a particularly retarded conversation with my father.
Father: Have you heard of [insert some language that will probably die in half a year]?
Me: Never heard of it.
Father: I talked with a friend yesterday and he said people pay millions for it.
Me: And?
Father: You have to learn it.
Me: *At this point trying not to facepalm* I don't think that's a good idea.
Father: Why?
Me: *begins explaining how the industry changes quickly, underused languages die out or how there simply aren't many materials on them*
My father then started shouting at me, saying that I don't listen to him and that his friend (who does stock trading for living) knows what's trending right now. Couple that with the fact that I was sick in bed when this random event happened, it led to me wanting to, ever so slightly, fucking kill myself.5 -
Phone rings, recruiter: "hi Scott just come across your CV and really want to talk to you about an exciting opportunity"
Me: "Ok, cool, can I just qualify this call, what was the keyword search you used to find my profile?"
Recruiter: "it's for a Java developer role for an exciting employer"
Me: "so you matched me on a Java training course I did 8 years ago?"
Recruiter: "ok, but I see you're fully qualified in c#"
Me: "you mean the support developer role from 5 years ago?"
Recruiter: "yes"
Me: "😑"
Recruiter: "listen it's a pretty bad line can I call you on a land line or drop you an email?"
Me: "sure drop me an email with your contact details and I'll give you a call back"
Still waiting on that email...
Why can't recruiters just admit straight away that they blindly called you without even reading your CV10 -
Generic-IT
--------------
Client:"So we would like to found a new company and offer IT and network consulting. Would you be able to build our website?"
Me:"Absolutely. What will be the name of your company?"
Client:"The name is going to be 'Generic-IT'. The website is going to be 'generic-IT.com' . We checked that with google."
Me:"I am sorry to tell you that generic.com is already taken by another company. Incidentally that company offers the same services, that you intend to offer. They also seem to be quite big an have businesses in 5 different countries.
Because of this I advise you to pick a different name that does not get you into trouble and makes positioning your own brand easier."
Client:"We want to neglect that problem for now."
Me:"0.0 ..... -_-""""
"Well, listen. Apart from the possible branding and copyright problems imagine how people will find you on the web. ...What will happen if you google 'generic IT'?"
Client:"Yeah well, we want to neglect that. And with SEO you can do something about that."
Me:"..........Welllll, you that SEO is not a cure all, right? The older an bigger company will come up first. Why not avoid that missunderstanding and come up with a unique name?"
Client:"......"
Me:"Please tell me. Doesn't any part of my argument make sense to you?"
Client:"..."
Me:"Well, ok. I will send you the estimate on monday."
___________
Then over a back channel I hear that the client is ...bewildered, why I would not stick to my area of expertise.
There I was now. Left bewildered myself, being the one with the webagency that does frontend design and branding.7 -
Being in an office where men actually listen to my ideas and don't try to talk over me? 🤔😍 It feels just like devRant4
-
My dad said to me once: "Son, when you're older... you can become anything you want. The sky is the limit!"
So my response: "Really dad? Wow!! I want to become an astronaut!!"
My dad: "God damnit son... why don't you ever listen?! I said the SKY is the limit!!"
So now I am a very down to earth programmer.4 -
Today is a great day for me! Today I've reached my weight goal - 99.9 . That's right guys - this nerd can proudly say that he's lost 20kg since last Nov!
Boi does that feel amazing.
So yeah guys, listen up. If your weight is <100 - appreciate that! Your hearts aren't in trouble, you can bend easily to put your socks on, you can sit with your legs crossed, you can do sooo many things! Enjoy it. And don't let it go easily. Don't think like I did: "meeh, it's just one more kilo -- I'll tackle it down later". It's a // TODO. It'll never happen!15 -
Sometimes when I need a break from coding and life... I gather a bunch of wood and have a bonfire In my backyard late into the night and listen to Alan watts for hours... This guy is the most brilliant philosopher ever... There's something about a fire + a bottle of wine deep + Alan watts that simply puts me in the most peaceful state of mind I've ever had...
https://youtu.be/giZN0ZuDERY
17 -
Cleaning lady: *wants some tunes during work*
Me: "Sure, I wanted to listen to some music as well.. not sure if our genres match though 🤔"
Cleaning lady (CL): "So what kind of music do you listen to?"
Me: "Synthwave"
CL: "So um.. synthesizers?"
Me: "Well yes, but it kind of ties in with the dark side of technology.. the whole 1984 dystopian future etc. Privacy, lack of user freedom, etc."
CL: "So essentially cult music?"
TIL that the tech community is a cult for listening to synthwave. I bet she believes that tech peeps are lizards too.
*mentally slaps cleaning lady* - User!!
13 -
"So what do you do?"
"I am a web developer"
"Oh, so can you make me a website"
"Sure, what do you need"
"Well, I think its going to be the next big thing"
(I already know I shouldn't have answered him)
".... Ok, what's it about"
"Its Facebook/Instagram/Whatsapp/Telegram/Slack/Twitter, but better"
If I had a penny for every time I had to listen to this crap just because I told them I was a developer, I won't have a need to continue being one.8 -
I've been a hardstyle fan/freak for about 8 years now and this music helps (rawstyle in particular) me through anything really.
But, since I love this genre/music to the point, I'm looking at producing it myself currently and fresh/new music is a good thing for me because it allows me to get in touch with loads of different techniques.
So there's this YouTube channel (the only Google service I use) which makes it easy for new rawstyle talents to enter the scene. You can send them tracks and if they meet a certain quality criteria then they're uploaded with proper credit given.
So anyways, when I've got a bad dev/sysadmin day, I go there to look for new tracks and re-listen 'old' ones in order to feel better, get to know more awesome music/new talents and listen to new techniques 😃17 -
No, listen to me. I cannot approve this PR because your code does not comply with our code style. All the imports and annotations must be sorted in ascending order by length. They must all make fir-like blocks of code. Because it looks nice.
Now go and fix your code
I just smiled and walked away to obfuscate my code with firs . I had no idea what to even say to that... I still don't14 -
My director likes to cut-off people mid-sentences. It’s every fucking time and it’s so fucking annoying. Like just fucking listen to me! That’s your fucking job!!3
-
YouTube, I called it. I freaking called it! This is an old story, it was back when Cryptominer via browser became a thing.
Me: "How long do you thing it will take until YouTube advertisements will contain cryptominer?"
IT WAS A F*CKING JOKE YOUTUBE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR ADVERTISEMENT POLICIES ARE REALLY THAT BAD!
A month later, after I said it to an friend, I had increased lags with literally anything I was doing. After some days of research (because I didn't pay that much attention to it at first), I could pin down the cause to my YouTube tab in my browser (because I listen to 24/7 music livestreams). And I was like:
Me: "I bet this is because of cryptominer. I bet this is because of cryptominer."
Guess what. About two weeks later YouTube confessed. Cryptominer ads were possible.
I wonder how much money these companies made...4 -
Now that I passed 5k, I think it's time to thank this awesome community.
Literally all of you people are absolutely awesome. I have nobody to talk to about programming stuff in RL, but you really got me back on track. I lost motivation, but this network is...different. It's inspiring.
I learned a multitude of languages and strengthend my skills. So many people are awesome here, I cannot listen them all.
I just want to say...Thank you.
6 -
6 months ago:
Boss: We have this idea to improve our onboarding to avoid drop off in the new app. See this section here? Were going to take that out of the onboarding and just let them pass straight through to the app. Then when they get into the app, there will be a banner telling them they should go to settings and set this up. That way they can ignore it for a while and get into the app sooner
Me: Get into the app sooner to do what?
Boss: Explore it
Me: Explore an empty app with no content, as they are a brand new user with nothing setup? While theres a big banner on the screen saying "You have insecure settings" ... basically forcing them to do it straight away anyway?
Boss: Yeah, we can give them some recommendations or something while they click around. It will be good. This is months away anyway, we'll talk again
Yesterday:
Boss: So this weird unexpected thing happened. We showed some beta users our plans to remove this section from onboarding and they felt weird about it. They said they didn't like the idea of the banner telling them they haven't set it up correctly
Me: Thats not weird, I said the same thing 6 months ago
Boss: ......... oh, really?
Me: Yep. Its not an improvement to get them through onboarding quicker, just to tell them they have to now go do it somewhere else
Boss: ... right. Ok maybe we'll build it anyway and see how they feel with it in there hands?
Me: nope
Boss: ... what do you mean?
Me: We are behind, you've asked me 3 times in the last week if we are going to be able to get everything in on time ... and now you want me to build something that everyone, apart from you, says they don't like. So realistically, i'm going to build it, and then remove it next week ... and we'll have a discussion about what has to be dropped because of this
Boss: ........ right .... ok .... hhhmmm
Me: *sits with resting bitch face*
Boss: ... maybe we can hide the banner until later. Not show it to them until they've done something in the app?
Me: ... maybe we can not do any of this?
Boss: right but then the onboarding will ...
Me: *talks louder* ... yes will be the way our users want it to be
Boss: ... hhmm i'm not sure
Me: Ok heres what we'll do, so long as it doesn't delay me getting the designs I need, feel free to have the designer mock up what it would look like using that figma on device preview thing. If users say they like it, i'll build it
Boss: ... right but it won't be real on device app so ...
Me: Its that or we cut feature X
Boss: ... well we need that
Me: ok glad we agree, let me know what feedback the designer gets
Boss: ... ok10 -
WTF - I discovered that wasps listen to me!
Earlier when one came in, I tried to catch it with a glass and release it, or kill it if that wasn't feasible. This year, I tried pointing to the window and ordering "get out!" just because I was too lazy to take action. Of course, I didn't expect it to work, but it did. I thought it was only a coincidence, so I kept trying it. It works every single time!
Crazy shit!14 -
Ahem ahem.
*clears throat*
Front end bois, listen that carefully.
YOU DONT FUCKIN TELL THE BACKEND HOW TO ACCEPT REQUESTS.
Backend creates the fuckin methods, the parameters and the responses, AND YOU FUCKIN ADAPT TO IT.
This guy at my work, we are both from Uni but i picked backend because i suck at frontend and i like using backend languages, sends me a message and tells me he can't make the project work.
At this time i have almost finished my part, i have made the method, have checked that they work, and i closed the work computer.
And now he tells me he wants to make a GET request instead of POST. LISTEN HERE MOTHERFUCKER. The methods are ready, adapt to them and shut the fuck up.
And before you tell me some methods don't work, make fuckin sure your part is correct because if i boot up the work laptop again to check why the method you have told me doesn't work, and it still does the job it was intented to do but you can't fix your part, i will fuckin cut your throat.
Sucker.
I do my part, and have to study for uni exams, since you don't have to because you have passed them, do your self a favor and fuckin learn to do things.
It's not my fault that i got experience on my own while you were just only doing our uni retarded projects and didn't bother to learn anything on your own.
I don't mean by any needs that i'm better than you but fuckin accept that i have learned something else that you have not and i would like to share the knowledge with you since you didn't bother.14 -
Do something brainless.
Like taking a shit.
Showering.
Hear music loud and dance.
Talk to people but don't listen.
Surf in the internet.
Masturbation.
Sport.
Take a walk.
Watch TV.
Cook.
And so on and so on.
Most of them are doable for hobby projects at home. Some are also suitable for work. Choose appropriately.
But if I am stuck, then continueing to try solve the problem most often keeps me stuck. So doing something else is my solution. So far it worked well.10 -
Job BS that made me consider quitting? If you find my previous rants, you find a lot of BS.
Here is one (attached is the actual email sent to me.)
TL;DR. The biggest BS part is the fact that I *got approval* from my boss to work on the migration and we already 'owned' specific project and no one else was working on it.
After I got the email (my boss sits right next to me)
Me: "Whoa..what's this!? Two weeks ago you gave me the green light to work on it."
C: "Oh yea...I forgot. Sorry."
<yes, the BS flags thrown all all over the place>
Me: "I'll schedule a meeting with everybody and straighten this out."
C: "That's a good idea, but I'll take care of it."
<10 min. later>
C: "Sorry, J said his word was final. You are not supposed to work on the project."
Me: "I never said I wanted to work on the project, it's already finished and with your approval. That's what I want straightened out."
C: "Yea..yea...I know, but J said to roll back your changes. I tried everything I could to change his mind."
Me: "I don't want his mind...never mind...I'll go talk to the boss if J won't listen"
C: "About that..um...the directive came directly from the boss. It's probably best you roll back the changes and forget this happened."
I knew then the well was already poisoned, so anything I said could be grounds for dismissal (the boss had an itchy 'firing' finger)
Time and karma took care of most of the rage. Not really a month later my boss was demoted back to developer and working on dead-end projects (porting data for reports).
6 -
I was contacted by a college senior guy (he was part of the core team of the club that I recently joined in my college).
Him: Do you want to launch your own startup?
Me: Yeah, I would love to.
Him: Nice, Listen. Even I want to start my own company. If you don't know, the current trend is ML and AI . So, I would like to base my startup on an AI application.( He was in his final year )
Me: I haven't tried any ML or AI stuff before.Sorry.
Him: Take 2 months time to study the AI concepts and do the app.
Me: But first, tell me what the AI app is supposed to do?
Him: It can be anything I have to think, you take the AI part and the UI and integration; with your skills and my idea let's build a startup and I will appoint you as the head of Application Development in my company.
*wtf, seriously dude? you want me to build the whole app for you and all you will do is put your fucking startup's name on it. I am building an application all by myself why the f would I ask you to publish it for me*
Me: Okay, I am getting late, I have to leave..
Made sure I didn't meet him again
and I have also came out of that stupid club..3 -
Difference n°538592 between developers and regular people:
"Do you listen music at work ? If so what app do you use ?
- (regular people) I don't / I use Spotify/Youtube.
- (me) I usually listen to my personal webradio server (running with icecast+liquidsoap on a little ubuntu DO droplet). Currently has a few funny jingles made by a friend and +3000 tracks (this number grows with time as I listen to new stuff), all crate-digged by myself for myself. Basically the the best radio in the whole world <3"20 -
I'm almost an introvert. I don't like talking to people much. I prefer to listen. Today one of the graduating seniors told me I should talk to people more. But I've been doing fine so far without talking to more people.12
-
My cat's always with me while coding.
It's nice, he's cute.
Then he decides to wake up, and to walk on my keyboard to go away.
Code looks like hcozpxucksl,,lOs', thanks man.
Not a big deal but I wanted to share my desperation with you, thanks for the listen12 -
The biggest passion of them all, for me: music.
In my case this is rawstyle/raw hardstyle/hardstyle but especially the most brutal rawstyle.
I love the energy it gives me and to listen to the techniques the artists use and also that, after a while, while the kicks all sound the same for many people, immediately identify the artist behind a kick when even hearing it for the first time (90 percent accuracy).
I'd love to produce it but I lack the skill set to do that as for now 😥
A tattoo related to this music genre is coming soon :D9 -
@dfox @trogus That was truly wonderful. I listen to a lot of podcasts, and perhaps it's because I'm a part of the community, but that was a really really good show!!
It's not easy to make me laugh in a podcast but I was fucking rolling9 -
I hate the reason why I don't mind people thinking I'm in my late 20s.
See, I've known quite a few people who will happily work with me, only to find out I'm 20. After that, they'll turn their nose up at me, and not bother with my input.
Sure, it might not be an age thing, and instead is a "I'm working with a junior level person", but even so, if someone has valid points to make, you listen to them or you'll get screwed over.
I didn't get to where I am now by acting like an inexperienced graduate.
And that's another thing. I didn't go to Uni/College. I self taught myself everything I know. I'm glad that the culture for smaller businesses has moved on from "you must have a degree to even talk to us".
It still stands though. If people lose respect for someone who didn't take exactly the same path as them, then screw them. I'm not a violent guy, but you'll still end up with a black eye if you push your luck.9 -
Ticket: “feature [x] doesn’t work”
Me: “I’ll need more details: how do I reach feature [x]? In which of the three projects you assigned me is that?”
Manager: “the design is in the ticket”
Me, in my head: “can you effin listen to what I told you before giving air to your mouth?”
Me, in person: “yeah I just need to know which project this refers to and how to reach it”
Manager: “but you have to open the ticket as a separate page!”
Me: “sure!” *waits 15 min, opens a ticket for more details, assigns it to manager, flags as blocking, flags the other one as blocked*
5 mins later: details are given and I can proudly fox it by remembering the manager they have to login in order to see feature [x]
Later in the workweek:
Manager at 8:00 URGENT FEATURE! MUST BE DELIVERED BY EOD
Me, 10:00 “can jump on it, need authorisation for [a procedure]
Me, 11,12,13,15,16,17:30: pings for an answer
Manager, 17:58 “ah sorry didn’t see, we can do it tomorrow”
Is this the matrix? Am I being stopped from developing cause I am randomly accessing matrix’s code without knowing it? Is this the Truman show? And most importantly: can I please take part to a manager hiring session? I am curious to see how tf you hire such peculiar people.10 -
Karma...you're the best.
An ex-team member was complaining to me about his manager reviewing his code. Shortened version of the convo:
Mgr: "Why didn't you use the new C# built-in extension methods?"
Dev: "No reason. I thought using the straight forward approach would be easier to maintain"
Ha!..you conceded, arrogant mother <bleep>er. How many times did I have to listen you berate other developers in code reviews for not using some random C# syntax sugar? Comments like "If you bothered to read the new C# 7.0 language specification like I did...you would have known not to use the string.Format anymore..."
Now you're pissed that the manager embarrassed you? How does it feel d-bag?
That's too evil...so I simply responded "I don't think Nick meant anything negative about your code, he's just trying to help."
Seeing him stir around all pissed off does make me giggle like a little schoolgirl.7 -
Me: Boss, i am not qualified for this. This is something totally different that what i do.
Boss: Just do what you can.
* Me does something which seems to work*
-- A few months or even years later:
Boss: Our distributed systems don't longer work. What happened?
Me, after checking different system: Oh, there is a key that expired. I didn't know this key had an expire date. So they can no longer connect.
Turns out we have to visit every remote system (driving distance of a few 100's km) and set a new key. We couldn't do it remotely since we lost access.
Maybe, just maybe, when your employee says he isn't qualified for a task, listen and search someone that know what he is doing.2 -
Every time I see this picture here on devRant I think of my annoying ass for a co-worker.
Not only does he refuse to listen to me and whines all the time, but when I show him a solution he copies my work right to the last semicolon. And proclaims himself to be God for "coming up with the solution".
Hubris much?
-
Jazz keeps me alive. 🎷🎹🥁🎸
I'll need to remember to listen to Jazz while coding. Makes everything so smooth. Even responsive webdesign.7 -
1 friend who is currently studying in Canada.
I am not aware if he uses devrant or not.
Met him in a national robotic competition 3 years back.
Somehow, we exchanged numbers and nowadays we talk often whenever we get time (considering our busy life and timezone difference)
He is studying robotics and frequently sends me his designs and output with 3D printer.
About me, I left robotics(to be specific embedded) and got a job and working on backend these days.
Though, it's great talking to him and getting to know how the education goes there and his new works.
He also has a beautiful love story(not yet completed) which is another fun part to listen from him. -
It astounds me that people will actually pay thousands of dollars to come to a bootcamp and just fuck around...
Like we will spend an hour going over materials and concept and when it comes time to apply it and build something the kid next to me never knows what's going on! And then always asks me how to do it.
I tried being positive about it and be like hey if I can explain it to him...then that means I really know it!
Fast forward a couple weeks and I'm ready to strangle the kid.
He will sit on his phone playing games the whole time the lesson is going. Then when the lesson is over, put his phone down and immediately ask me how to do it...
The fuck!? Maybe if you'd just listen you'd know wtf you're doing by now you useless vapid brainless twatwaffle!
4 -
Boss: Any idea why ColleagueX's code might be blowing out the memory?
Me (internal): Cos he's a fucking retard who can't code for shit, doesn't listen when I tell him to do stuff properly because he's fucking lazy, has no idea what stack and heap are, uses goto everywhere, doesn't know how to debug, doesn't write any unit tests, and generally WASTES MY FUCKING TIME!
Me (external): Probably a memory leak. I'll take a look.2 -
Bob Martin. His books Clean Code and the Clean Coder, and all his talks on architecture, SOLID and TDD. I could listen to him talk for days, and he taught me everything i know about writing clean code.2
-
Me before wathing Google I/O: *normal happy life*
Me (in a paranoid voice) after watching it: The are everywhere, they listen to every word, every sillable everything! They are onto us, they strive for world domination. I gotta hide somewhere!2 -
So...new intern , table paired to mine , get my hopes up that it's hopefully not another stuck up uni kiddo , hopes get ruined . He asked me my name and what I do , when I told him I do product security his reaction was 'oh so you're not a dev ?' . Go.eat.shit.and.choke.with.those.alienware.headphones. he didn't even listen to what I had to say about that , just put on his headphones and ignored me . Prick.11
-
When I go to bed, I power off my laptop instead of just closing the lid. I don't bring my phone with me. I don't have a smartwatch. I sleep with no electronic devices with me.
Anyone can solve a lot of their problems by conversing with themselves one on one. Instead, they prefer a feed algorithm taking away their pain. But the nature of pain-relieving addictions is that they always intensify the pain in the long run.
Listen to yourself. Speak to yourself quietly, one on one, without mark zuckerberg in your room listening to your every word. The overwhelming pain will be no more after mere minutes. Only then can you be free.4 -
Scenario 1:
Me: *cover both ears with headphones, start listening to vicious metal, look angry, busy and determined*
Co-workers: "Oh hey! I need to understand ____"
Me: "Fuuuuu..."
Scenario 2:
Me: *place headphones on one ear, listen to gentle, approachable music at low volume with smile on face*
Co-workers: *crickets for hours*
Me: Fucking seriously? *commence Scenario 1* -
PM: Hey listen, client sent us his feedback about the app that we need to fix, they wont take time.
Me: Sure no problem.
5 Minutes later:
*Receives email*
*checks email*
15 easy tasks that take not time to finish BUT they are put inside ONE FUCKING TASK ON JIRA! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SHIT! 15 IN ONE YOU DUMB FUCK!
MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS AND WRITE EACH IN ITS OWN MOTHERFUCKING TASK!
Another reason on why I hate humans -_-1 -
Client : I am unable to download data from your sever for last 10 days.
Me : Sir, we are sorry to hear that. We are doing some maintenances on our server from this morning today. We request you to call back us in next 4 hours.
Client : But i am facing this problem for last 10 days.
Me: Sir, i heard you. As maintenance is going on it will not be possible to download data this time.
Client: From when this maintenance is going on?
Me: from this morning sir.
Client : but i am facing this probolem for last 10 days.
Me: Sir, you are not understanding it, or may be i am failing to describe the situation to you...
Client: Listen, you guys are incapable. Only knows to make excuse.
Me: Sir..
Client: Sorry to say, i am not Happy with your support. Let me talk to your senior tech guy.
Me : Sir, your problem will be solved in next 4 hours. We will call you as soon as our server went online.
Client: *.....*
It took me 20 minutes to finally make him understand the situation.
Client: Why did not you said that earlier? You guys will have all the time but i do not. Anyway.
He hangs the phone.
My ears are burning man...9 -
I like complainers... So... Someone who works 9-6 (and is often late by half hour and leaves at 6 sharp also takes extended lunch break) complained to my manager that I'm late for work , which I am , no denying , but , I take no lunch break and I work until 7:30-8 . Why on planet earth would you even care to make a complaint about someone whose manager you don't even know ? What the fuck kind of a person even does that ?! No one in my office has any kind of direct interaction with me , no idea of the work I do yet someone found it fitting to complain . Anyway , manager didn't even listen to the guy so I'm good...just pissed at haters .6
-
I managed to get a new dell XPS 15 with uhd display, 16GB RAM and a nice i7 for work.
My boss previously asked for advice from me for which laptop to get, he ignored my advice which was for him to get a nice surface book pro for his excel activities
Instead he got a shitty Mac book air (who are these people who like the airs?). As his cto I was upset he didn’t trust his tech guy to choose him a powerful laptop that was useful.
Anyway, he saw my new laptop this week and a contractor was admiring it. My boss then said why didn’t you tell me to get this one? (The surface pro is the same spec but with tablet and pen ability).
What a dick. I’m still mad he didn’t listen to me. And now he is saying I never told him.
Macs are shit btw. This dell is great and I don’t know how we lived without uhd screens before.14 -
Spotify premium ad: "Subscribe to Spotify premium and you can skip any number of songs you want. We won't take it personally."
Actually you do!
What I skip and what I listen through tells your machine learning what I like and what not. That's how it builds my listening profile.
So your (software's) opinion of me directly depends on what and how much I skip.
(I expect that skips from people skipping often to have less value than from seldom skippers.)
That sounds like the definition of "taking it personally"!7 -
Dearest Spotify,
I do NOT like podcasts, I do NOT listen to them, I do NOT want to, I do NOT want them as a non-dismissible FUCKING banner PERPETUALLY AT THE TOP OF MY HOME FUCKING SCREEN
IN F R O N T OF THE FUCKING MUSIC?!?!?!
AND I DEFINITELY D O N OOO T WANT your SHITTY RECOMMENDATIONS to have PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGES AND THEMES when I often have the Spotify homepage open on my DESKTOP I don't want to explain that to people who happen to glance at my FUCKING screen.
Holy fucking shit just give me music recommendations and FUCK OFF.
10 -
Doing occasional first & second level support besides my actual job of coding can be fucking annoying and time consuming.
Just let me code in peace and listen to doom metal!
"Blabla our 17 years old plotter does not respond blabla fix it please"
"My computer is so slow, make it faster"
Go die in your filthy office chairs by being pierced through the stinking butthole you ignorant endoplasmatische retikula!1 -
"Time to listen to some music"
* Puts on headphones and searches my favorite death metal *
* No sound *
"Silly me, I muted it"
* Unmute *
* 108% death metal brainfucking me from both ears *
I think I lost 5 years worth of hearing this instant4 -
So y'all listen to me.
No Software Development methodology or technique is a silver bullet. None!
Every engineer must acquire the ability to know when and where to use different approaches, appropriately.
Well, you wanna read that again.9 -
A Visual Studio solution that had 62 (SIXTY TWO) projects for a webpage that was like 8 user forms total was like going to a shop to buy 3 items and receiving 15 tickets for that.
PMs saying no to refactoring due to not having enough time for a months. The first task took me 2 days just by fixing cyclic dependencies among the libraries. Went home and merged all the projects to just 3, building instantly in just two hours. Fuck idiot PMs that do not know how to code, buys shit and don't listen to devs. Fuck all idiots.4 -
The IT guy at client made a spaghetti code website to replace their time entry software. I come in to “finish it up in a week to two” (just me). I start by removing 1200+ lines of convoluted data access code that doesn’t work, SQL injection prone too. I quickly gave up and started from scratch; just copyied some of his actually decent HTML.
Friday, he proceeded to try to install node on the server and run main.JS. Now he’s all concerned my repo is too complex because he can’t deploy a static website 🙁
He didn’t ask me how it gets deployed nor did he listen when I said “node is NOT THE BACKEND we have .NET core for that”.🤦♂️
I’m gonna spend a week writing documentation at 5th grade level and hand holding him so he understands how this code works because he’s going to be the one maintaining it.1 -
so my father is on psychiatry, because he tried to kill himself. he invited me to join, which was very tempting, but his method was very stupid, and i have a bit more time of enjoying watching the apocalypse in progress, so i declined.
he's alive, because his attempt was thwarted by his instinct not to take anyone else with him who didn't consent.
i told him killing himself by crashing a car is the stupidest way ever.
i'm glad he didn't listen, because i was right.16 -
After 6 months of work in this startup I gave in my notice yesterday.
- Me: I decided to leave this position as well as this country because: 1. My side business is expanding and Im making the same salary like here, 2. My army drafting got postponed for this year and next year they cannot draft me anymore(because of the age gap), so basically I'm a free man and can go back to my own country, 3. I have some freelance gigs on the side as well, so having them plus fulltime job plus my own side businesses it's not sustainable.
- My project lead: What if we would increase your salary ?
-Me : No, as I said this is purely due to personal reasons
My project lead: What If we would hire another dev so that you wouldn't have to work alone on frontend?
-Me: ......
Seriously do they ever listen??? I'm telling you that I'm making nearly twice the salary that you are paying me, do you really think an extra couple hundred of EUR a month will make a difference?5 -
I missed a week of school while I was sick, and in that week my teammates made a deal with the client to have a prototype for him in 3 weeks, AFTER asking me (teamleader) how long it would take (4 weeks min.). Why don't they FUCKING listen to their teamleader!! They're gonna have a bad time in the future...
And now I have to spend my whole night writing a prototype because THEY told a wrong estimate...3 -
What music do you listen to when you code? Also, can you please recommend some. Music with minimal to no wording is what interests me. Any suggestions would be appreciated:)37
-
Another day, another client story.
So today the client is sending me the text for the website, and after 15(!!!) iterations, add a period, center the text, justify the text, center it again etc.
Me: Can you please create a word document, design it as you like, and I will copy that to HTML for you?
Him: But if I do all the work what am I paying you for?
Me: To listen to you ...3 -
Past two days one of the senior devs has been complaining to anyone who will listen about a UI assembly containing 'hard-coded' references to a third party component causing several builds to break. The developer who added the telerik component probably had no idea the reference is pointing to his personal directory instead of a relative path. Easy fix? Uh...yea...but he just ranted to our boss for about 10 minutes about he has no idea how to fix the problem and the TFS build failure holding up his other projects.
WTF!? You fracking know what the relative path is!...just fracking change it and move the frack on.
The drama this drama-queen keeps spewing out is driving me out of my mind.
3 -
HR is getting so desperate they are prescheduling me interviews attached with CVs in the hopes that I will interview the candidates for a senior, even though the candidates have no experience whatsoever in embedded software programming. Workday, JIRA and Excel does not count you absolute fucknuggets.
For fuck sake, I asked management to hire new grads or juniors, at least I can get a person motivated to learn, but I swear they just don't listen.
They just are content with wasting my time lol3 -
So, I'm a Jr. Webdev started one year ago to work on a €200mln. retail platform. Our development team consists out of my Sr. dev who designed the whole platform and it's basically his baby. Now he's leaving and it's expected from me to do new developments, support, meetings with managers from all over Europe, roll-outs in new countries, deal with all the issues SAP has, eat their bullshit when they can't upload a .csv file because they are too stupid to check for missing leading zeros. Listen to important their new functions are that they want because 120% of the salespeople needs it. How stupid can this company be to take the financial risk? I'm done.9
-
When your "product owner" just doesn't listen...
Skype conversation:
PO: What format will the dates need to be in for the csv file upload?
Me: Just tell them YYYY-MM-DD
PO: ok
Two weeks later...
PO: there is a bug in the csv file upload! The dates aren't being picked up
Me: ok will have a look, send me through an example date the are using
PO: ok, example date 12/03/1990
FFS! 😡
3 -
It's fucking annoying when your roommate feels the need to play their music so loudly you can hear it through the walls. That's not fucking necessary... I listen to music all the time without it being that loud. And if I want loud music, I do the polite thing of putting my headphones in. This shit didn't bother me early on, but it's getting on my last fucking nerves these days.
I'm trying to do homework and can barely focus because of the constant sound of bass non-stop.6 -
We got new dev leader. He has zero experiences in our field of working but he thinks, he knows everything.
He suppose to manage our work and plan development, but he is just changing our functionalities. When you try to explain to him, this wouldn't work, he just doesn't listen and try to convince you his way is better.
He also hire one of his friend. And now he is hiding him from me, because his friend is working on the same thing as I do. No idea why, but we could work together.
I am so sick of his shit that I started to look for a new job. I can't stand such an egoistic person.2 -
not universal, but works for me:
1. start listening to long video/podcast/talkshow i'm interested in
2. (optional) think about all the physical things i should do, such as cleaning the house, running errands, etc. conclude "nah, i'd rather stay at the computer".
3. open the project i'm working on, thinking "while i listen, i might as well muck about with this for a bit". the key is for the thought to be duration-indeterminate and non-commital, so it feels like an idea for a voluntary idle activity.
4. start mucking around with the project, starting with the simplest smallest tasks, to slowly shift my focus away from what i'm listening to, so it gradually becomes the background thing as the work gets into foreground of my concentration without me even noticing. this also naturally shifts me towards the more important and complicated tasks in the project
5. naturally lose track of time, realizing i've been working for 2 to 3 hours without break only after what i'm listening to ends (sometimes not even then)
6. at that point, take a break, stretch my legs, get some food, watch some 20-30 minute thing with full attention.
7. find a new long-form mostly audio thing to listen to, and go to step 4. repeat.
8. i found i can work like this 8 to sometimes 20 hours straight in a nice atmosphere, without feeling like i spent the time working with all the mental exhaustion it brings, instead it feeling like "i was listening to interesting/entertaining things and mucking around with some stuff on the side", with all the feeling of "i've been idling the whole time" except the work is actually done, or at least i made a progress. it feels almost like procrastinating except without the guilt because i can see i've done a lot through that time. kind of a good compromise between total procrastination and working your ass off into complete anxiety/depression2 -
It's killing me.
This senior keeps doing all his fixes in the the same branch (named "develop-copy-{hisname}") and keeps merging it directly into develop and deployment branches. He has a lot of experience and therefore the manager gave him direct access to the branch.
The problem will arise when the QA team sends back one of the issues in the release back for changes. This never happened till date (his fixes are early and we vet all in-team changes, therefore he gets time to clean up his mess before the release date) but someday this will bite us in the ass.
I'm really unsure about ratting him out to the manager but I couldn't convince him to use separate branches (or separate commits) for different fixes. I couldn't convince him to add JIRA links/numbers into the commit messages either.
And, the junior devs I manage are getting inspired by him, and won't listen to me when I try to enforce separate branches, creating a political mess (probably I'm kinda like a contractor and they are permanent employees).
Sucks.6 -
The worst interview . . . .
So I wasn't looking for a job, but I wasn't happy in mine, and I would listen to pitches. Recruiter calls me about a Java job. I tell him I know JS and it's probably not a good fit. He insists my resume looks good and that they are happy to train. I know just enough Java to relent. Eventually we set up an phone interview for a day I happen to have off anyway because I'm going out of town. Morning of, I'm waiting around for the call. An hour after the scheduled time, the recruiter calls and tells me they had an "emergency" and wouldn't be able to speak today. One whole hour of my day, making me late to leave town: no one anywhere in the whole company could give me a call, no explanation, no apologies, for a job I had told them I wouldn't be a good fit for anyway.
I left them hanging the rest of the weekend and then take my name out of the running on Monday. Respect people's time and lives!4 -
I can't be the only one who makes gestures to my computer depending on how things are going. I give it thumbs up when we got it right. Shake my fist when "it doesn't listen to me", etc4
-
What a sad and frustrating day!
I got a call from recruiter. I told him that I'm not actively looking for change. But he requested for 2 mins to listen. He started telling about his company, how great it is, tech stack, perks, salary etc. He is telling everything but not company name, I waited patiently and asked what's the pay I can expect. The number blew my mind, it's nearly double to my current pay. Then...
Me: that sounds amazing, which company is this, and where is it?
Him: it is <my company name> and located at <my current location, same campus>
Me: .....
Him: so, what do you think?
Me: .... I need some time. Let me update my LinkedIn profile first and then, i will get back to you.
Him: sounds wonderful, will call back by Monday. <Call disconnected>
Me: <inside my head> @$_-$#(/+&_#
This in my 10th year in this company, some one kill me please.5 -
Conference call with customer:
Me: You want your customers to see orders that YOU cancelled on them? Are you sure about that? Won't that upset some of them?
Customer: Nope we want that.
Me: Uh ok....
-weeks later-
Customer: OMG OUR CUSTOMERS CAN SEE ORDERS WE CANCELLED!!!
ʅ͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡(ƟӨ)ʃ͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡
Like bro, I'm just the programmer but sometimes we understand things ..... stop and listen for a moment...4 -
I think my favorite MacBook Pro™ with touch bar feature is when I'm changing the volume while listening to music, and the bar bugs ou- ahem, decides that I actually want to listen at max volume, and proceeds to rape my ears.
If only Tim Cook were here, and would grace my humble existence by allowing me to pleasure him with my mouth. It is moments like these that make me feel truly blessed to be an Apple chosen one.2 -
Two years and a lot of money my company has been building a peice of software for a client, I spent the day yesterday talking and watching the client, our software doesn't even come close to matching their requirements. It barely matches the brief my boss wrote and *never showed me*.
The following isn't necessarily a lesson I've learnt, but rather solidified it very much: FOLLOW THE SODDING BRIEF AND ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THE CLIENTS.
Also don't hire low paid devs just because they're cheap because they WILL produce shocking, unmaintiable and unchangeable code.
I honestly think starting this again will be much faster.2 -
I got paid today. 4000 EGP ,which roughly equates to 254 USD. And I had to listen to my boss bitching about me not working enough last week. Living in a 3rd world country is pretty great!16
-
!rant
I just remembered some joke I said while we had C++ classes.
To see who will actually listen to me, I said : "Hey, I heard you can malloc a dynamic array."1 -
It’s really painful how non technical people think all technical stuff is the same.
The amount of times I’ve been brought in to help someone with a printer or WiFi network.
I didn’t do a computer science degree for this.
I’m also pretty sure my last two bosses think fixing the printer is the same as creating large scale systems.
My last boss wanted me to build a Vr chatbot despite spending the last few years building web servers and react/redux apps. I mean I can probably figure it out and it’ll be fun, but don’t think I’m gonna get this done in a week with all my other responsibilities too.
My new boss wants me to singlehandedly build a massive marketplace system that would probably take a team of ten, several years.
Fed up of being around non technical managers who don’t listen to me with my feedback.
Time for a new chapter in the new year.2 -
I worked with a developer for months. He was senior to me; on more money than me and had way more experience. I spent at least 25% of my time explaining the most basic stuff to him. Things like 'no, that's not how a cache works', 'no, you shouldnt be doing string concatenation inside a loop', 'no you've completely written the wrong thing because you didn't listen'
When he left, he claimed to have finished off a feature for our application. We dove into it, rewrote it, made it more efficient, the code cleaner, the documentation more succinct and the logic more obvious. When I say we, I mean me and a student, and by me and a student, I mean the student with some very light prodding from me.4 -
This customer's dev is going to be the end of me. I had to explain to him why it doesn't make any sense to return a value after throwing an exception.
In a function that was supposed to insert a record amd return its id, in the error handling code:
catch(Exception ex) {
//logs the exception
throw ex;
return - 999; //this code will NEVER be reached, and why the f.... - 999?
}
The customer wants us to develop the project together, but he won't listen and always write whatever he wants. Some might be differences in taste. Like me preferring
if(condition) {
return a;
}
return b;
And him preferring :
Foo result = null;
if(condition) {
result = a;
} else {
result = b;
}
return result;
Ok, that I can accept. But things like the one I'm ranting about... I wont.
I'm starting to wonder what was he doing during his "9 years of coding experience"10 -
I've worked in a lot of customer service jobs and the more i have to deal with client, the more story starting to pile up. But something always come back and it's frustrating. The entitlement people have. I work as a Technical Support agent and for the most part i'm actually happy to help people with fixing their problems. But once in a while i always get that idiot that doesn't do anything i told him, blame me because "my fixes" don't work or just straight up don't listen to me and think they know better. Why the fuck do you call me if you need help if you're going to ignore everything i say and act like a fucking children. I'm not the one that call for technical support.
I know this place is more for Dev, but i'm sure those kind of things happen all the time when a client think he know more than the dev themselves...1 -
I was assigned the research of an issue, after doing that I told in a meeting what we needed to solve, then someone asked which engineer would take care of that so I said me and they didn't listen. Then they asked again and someone else spoke before I could. I can't have good performance if they don't give me tasks. I'm bored of doing nothing, fuck quarantine making people forget I exist.5
-
Just don't open it...
Will definitely not pretend to be productive 24/7. But the below help me reach a satisfactory 8/5 most day's.
- Exercise in the morning
- Eat breakfast
- Listen to good music
- Make sure to have fun moments throughout the workday (++ for initiating)
- Catch air, have a walk, take a break
- Minimize interactions with toxic people
- Be open in sharing knowledge, thoughts, work , good people will repay you
- Get in the kitchen, cook nice healthy meals
- Set concrete and reachable targets
- Remain eager to learn
- Celebrate successes
- Spent time with friends and family
- Catch enough sleep
And above all, DON'T open devRant!!! -
My manager calls in to the morning stand-up meeting while driving to the office.
This is dangerous, not just for him but for other drivers.
I want so badly to say something but he's my manager and I'm afraid of reprisal.
He wouldn't listen to me anyway.3 -
So here goes my first rant...
I was looking for a job as a software developer when I saw one nice company hiring.
I apply to them via their form online. Then they invite me to come to their event during which they will explain everything in details.
I go there (despite the time of the event being uncomfortable for me) and listen to them for a while. Basically, they say they will send the test task to all applicants and see how it goes.
Later same day they email me saying they didn't get my CV via their form and they need me to resend it so they can send the test task. Alright, no big deal, done.
Now today they email me saying "sorry, motherfucker, better luck next time".
What the actual fuck? I spend my fucking time to go to some shitty event saying a test task will decide everything to not even get one.
So, naturally, I go and re-check my email: I definitely did send them my CV;
seems like they ignored the email and eliminated me from the application process for not having my CV, fuckers.
If they will ever in the future invite me to an interview/offer me a job there, I won't take for fucking triple pay.
Thanks for reading and helping me vent my anger, have a nice day:)2 -
!Dev / story
My phone starts dying gently but surely. Since last week I cannot use my jack input anymore, and thus can't listen to music in the car. I also compose music, and was eager to listen to my latest production (for reviewing purposes) in the car. In my frustrated search for a spare device with a jack, I found a pile of blank CDs instead. "Aw yiss, I can haz music in my car" I thought with a huge relieved grin.
I grabbed a CD, looked at my pc, and my grin faded instantly to an "oh" of disappointment: I deliberately did not install a CD drive in my computer.
Not losing hope, I grabbed my Mac and tried inserting my blank disk in the drive. "Clunk, clunk", the cd won't go in. "Ah silly me, I replaced that drive with a SSD". So I went looking for that spare cd drive.
After I found it, its SATA power interface was smaller than regular SATA devices, and any connectors I tried were too big. "Hmpf, ok, I'm desperate, let's remove that SSD in my Mac". So I went grabbing some screwdrivers, removed the cover lid underneath the computer, and removed two screws from the SSD casing, allowing me to lift the unit up, disconnect the cable, plug in the cd drive, flip the Mac carefully, turn it on... And burn my CDs, and finally I resetted everything back to normal, carefully removing the cd drive and closing the computer.
What one doesn't do in frustration...
2 -
We all hate being tech support for our family and friends, but motherfuck this is insane; my sister asks me for support and then doesn't listen to me. E.g. I tell her that the Microsoft login page is fucked up so she'll need to login again and she doesn't try again, but pesters me until I login for her... Every goddamn time...11
-
My colleague can be so fucking annoying I’m close to snapping. It’s morning, I just got it, didn’t have any coffee yet and he asks me “what did you do while I was gone?” (He was away sick a few days). So I start explaining to him the code changes we did and he takes it as an opportunity to interrupt me and ask more questions during my explanation. Mostly because he thinks it’s amusing. I continue explaining not giving in to his shit and he continues interrupting me and tries to make other team members laugh at his stupid face. No one does. I finally tell him to shut up and listen and he does.
It’s like having a kid run around, focusing on every sound other than what is important and trying to be funny when all that’s happening is everyone thinking he’s and asshole that should shut the fuck up. ARGH!!! So annoying.6 -
Ok everybody, listen up.
For a long time, even before I knew devrant, I failed an exam and had to retake it. It was, and I think this is fair to say without exageration, the worst thing that had happened to me. Put me deep into an anxiety crysis that it was very difficult to escape from. Months of hard work, at the sacrifice of many other valuable things, helped me to climb out of this hole. It was a struggle, but I finally made it. Earlier today I retook the exam. It was great. Thank you for standing by in this difficult time of my life. We live in a post-thisfuckingexam-time. Many of my rants on here were influenced by this issue. Now they probably wont ever be again. Thank god, and thank me for keeping it up.
Tldr: i wrote an exam today.3 -
“You know what is not fungible, scarce and valuable to me? My time! So if you wish to persuade me NFT are a good thing, you should pay me a fair amount of real money to make me listen your bullshit”
From now on this will be my standard reply to NFT harassment.
Feel free to use, edit and share with others.4 -
Nothing makes me happier than listening to my neighbor's disgusting banda music playing as loud as it can.
No worries tho, the cops will be here in about 20 mins (it usually is 20) one would have expected that after getting the cops called on you for 3 times already you would get the message:
No homeslice. If i want to listen to that cantina piece of shit music on my fucking friday nights I will make sure to let u know :) but I actually have class so no thank you.
This is why Trump hates us (Mexicans) -
I must use windows at work and after 5 years of using mac I can say that windows is fucking loud, fucking beeps everywhere. Like you fucking do anything that has no results it’s beep - that’s fucking crazy I feel like I’m on some fucking road with assholes all over the place beeping on me.
I can work in silence on my mac, no software beeps by default.
Fucking Hell how can you listen to beep all day ?18 -
So I my boss told me about an interview ha had for a new account manager position.
${BOSS} so can you tell me about your knowledge with DNS and DHCP?
${GIRL} I have no idea, I dont listen to West Coast rap
${BOSS} ...5 -
Image relevant.
Tried getting puter to talk, puter no want to talk.
Me sad.
Me tell puter to stay put and listen at 4444.
External device doesn't do shit.
Me sad.
Read the docs. Nothing. Written like a 5 year old would.
Be angry, how do I put external device into tcp/ip mode? No one knows, the docs don't know.
I get frustrated and pull the USB cable out of it.
Mfw it starts spitting out requests to my server with no end in sight.
Mfw the requests all just repeat.
Mfw the docs tell me to acknowledge a request I have to respond with a content type of
"application/x-www-form-urlencoded"
How.
Not possible.
Mfw I decide to dissect a request to check it's accept header.
Mfw it says text/plain.
Great, no idea in what format the thing expects it.
Try writing out query string plainly.
It fucking works.
Why can't people just learn to write proper documentation.
5 -
!rant
Enough of this damn youtube selecting shit songs for me, so please guys share playlists !
What i am used to :
- macklemore
- Korn
- muse
- nickleback
- system of down
- eminem
- michael bubley
- nirvana
- tarja turunen
- rihana
- christina agilera (wrong spelling i know ...)
Just gave them in my mind's order, i listen to a lot of their songs, but recently there is no fucking good artist at all.
I like to listen to something who moves, not static idiot repetitive songs. I am fed of daft punk.
Please guys share, i can no longer enjoy music !!42 -
Security! I wish clients would listen to me regarding security...
The client has started to ask me to give them access to all the logins I have for the email, domain, server etc.
I created them a new account and gave them admin access.
Now they’re asking for password for all the email accounts (I don’t even store them). So I asked why, she wanted to have them in case some of the employees forgot their password.
I explained to her, deeply and many times, WHY THIS IS A BAD FUCKING IDEA. I also discovered she’s keeping it in a document, clear text.
Why do they pay me for support, when they want to have access to everything...
I’m wondering if they’re planning to find someone else to do their support, or do it themselves.
I didn’t even think 25€ pr month is that expensive for support2 -
So... you are the architect, a senior developer, with no experience in maven.
I am a middle developer with a long experience in maven.
WHY THE HELL YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME!!!
I am open to confrontation but dude... your thoughts and opinions are not automatically orders for me!!! -
A request:
"Hello, John! How are you today? Listen, if you have 15 minutes today - could you please do something for me? I need you to compare the results of test runs 1111 and 2222. Thank you!"
- How normal people read it:
* reads every word*
a grammar nazi takes a few minutes to look up whether the dash was the right symbol to use in this context.
appreciates the politeness
appreciates the personal touch (John, How are you)
- How a programmer reads it
".*compare\s.*(test|run).*\s(\\d{2,}).*\s(\\d{2,})\s*.*"
I would post this post as a joke/meme if it were one. Unfortunately, this is usually the case and devs, like regexes, sometimes tend to miss some important detail in the .* part.4 -
In Germany we have something called "Rundfunkbeitrag" (aka GEZ-Gebühr a long time ago).
The "Rundfunkbeitrag" is something that you have to pay for even if you don't own a TV, watch TV, listen to a radio station etc and consume ARD, ZDF and Deutschlandradios' radio services and online services (as in news sections for example).
That's pure scam.
The "Rundfunkbeitrag" is basically broadcast contribution.
Is there any country that is not forcing you to pay for something you don't own and/or consume?
I, for one, don't watch TV, never consume their services and don't listen to radio. There are better alternatives.
We, as a society, will even pay for the amount of air we breathe in and out in the future. That might sound like bullshit to you, but just take a look around yourself and face the reality for once. We get scammed from all sides, don't we?
How unlikely can that be to happen in the future?
We literally get gang banged with "GDPR", "Imprint", "Rundfunkbeitrag", "Media lies (rather subjective)" and other things in Germany.
---
Again, if there are better alternatives let me know.21 -
Do you listen to music while working and if so what type of music? I personally only listen to instrumental music (mostly jazz and hip-hop) becouse music with vocals makes me crazy!16
-
I can't begin to know where to start. I once worked with a lady that was annoyed by me for stretching and began to start nagging at me for it. I promptly explained to her that hearing her complaints annoyed me as well and that I stretched and yawned because my work made me sleepy due to the fact that I had to listen to her relentless and incessant nagging.
I currently work with a "graphic designer" of 25 years experience who had no idea that color picker tools were an actual thing in real life. He's been eyeballing our brand colors for years. SMH... We collectively refer to him as Captain Colorpicker now.
This same guy had never used a credit or debit card in his entire life to purchase a meal at a restaurant.
I worked with a micromanager that constantly reminded me daily of the hierarchy for decision making in the company and where you stood firmly under her thumb. That is until she conveniently wanted shy away from a tough decision. Then it was all on me.
She was the marketing director and every single one of these stupid titles:
http://memeburn.com/2013/05/...
I am in a company as a shareholder with a partner who threatened to take away my shares on several occasions when I don't agree with him. At the time our company was in debt, capital accounts were low, and we were hemorrhaging money to keep afloat. The dumbass tried to offer me $200 per share to "buy me out." The company was $5,000 in the hole and my shares were worth around -$11 each. He never had that much money. -
It’s really painful how non technical people think all technical stuff is the same.
The amount of times I’ve been brought in to help someone with a printer or WiFi network.
I didn’t do a computer science degree for this.
I’m also pretty sure my last two bosses think fixing the printer is the same as creating large scale systems.
My last boss wanted me to build a Vr chatbot despite spending the last few years building web servers and react/redux apps. I mean I can probably figure it out and it’ll be fun, but don’t think I’m gonna get this done in a week with all my other responsibilities too.
My new boss wants me to singlehandedly build a massive marketplace system that would probably take a team of ten, several years.
Fed up of being around non technical managers who don’t listen to me with my feedback.
Time for a new chapter in the new year.
#whosHiring?1 -
i have been working on a web-based game and this is my daily routine (also i listen to rock and metal)
college to home to coding
thinking
coding...
looks like theres a small bug
shouldnt take much time
maybe this can work
*screaming*
i am not the first with this bug *here i come stack*
dont do this to me stack... theres suppose to be a fix for it
*extreme head banging*
F*** it
*changing songs*
nope this not helping
F***
F*** THIS SHIT
*rhythmic head banging*
oh god kill me
F***
am i really that bad
*autistic screaming*
humming song instead of thinking of bug
(8 - 8:30) me: mom i am hungry
this shit is taking toooo much time
*high intensity screaming*
F*** you bug
coding, its not form me
*surfing devrant*
*felling i am normal*
(10 - 10:30) mom: when are you eating
*high pitch screaming*
i am leaving coding for sure now
its too late time to sleep
fml its late again, i am gonna miss the first lecture again
back to coding
A thousand year later...
Bug status: Still not fixed4 -
My tech debt meltdown is happening right now. We are releasing our huge micro service based product next week with no automated testing of any sort. Our front end clients are relatively DRY. No tests and dry = can't change anything = hacks on top of hacks.
Why? Team lead won't listen to me and has beaten me down so I don't care anymore. If it's broken fuck it.2 -
https://devrant.com/rants/4356269/...
As it turns out, many people in my team has the same fucking habit! Nobody wants to listen; everybody wants to blabber first!
How the fuck are we going to communicate like this? Especially while working from home?!
And how the fuck can you blame me for an issue when you don’t even let me complete a fucking sentence?! How the fuck am I supposed to get my point across?!!
Oh man.. today’s been bad.2 -
On the beginning of a project I'm not yet ( 😒 ) taking part of I questioned the use of firebase because I understood the client was gonna ask for the web app to be hosted on their servers lately, but people told me not to worry.
Today... Only 2 fucking months later they are asking for the specifications/technologies used so they can prepare their server to host it and I was laughing my ass out internally while saying to my boss:
Well, looks like you are gonna need to rewrite huge parts and probably write a back end from scratch if you are gonna use postgresql.
Lol, why do people never listen to me? This is becoming ridiculous.... -
I've made a fucking retro game and it takes too much time and effort to make this thing when I complete my game I showed this to my cousins and their first words was it is too boring anybody could make it could you make something like pubg or fortnite when I listen to these words they were fucking demotivating and made me drive crazy I don't know how do I explain them how much hard to make something like this.14
-
That feeling when you’ve got a reputation of preciseness etc, and the code you just submitted for review has so many silly little mistakes you just want to do that ostrich thing. Gosh, how can I suddenly suck at my job this bad?
Okay, the changes affect EVERYTHING in our codebase (a major change in core business logic), and there is no way I could’ve tested every possible case by myself without a decent coverage of automated tests - which we obviously don’t have. So yet another argument for it (damn management, won’t you listen?!)… but still, some of the mistakes found during code review make me seem like a complete idiot.7 -
!dev
This thing is eating away at me so just shut up and listen.
I have started applying for this uni for PhD (don't judge me) and for that, I will need recommendation letters, right? So I emailed two of the people who have already agreed to write me recommendation letters, to confirm the details that I'll give the said uni to contact them. Emails were sent out on Thursday. It's now soon to be Tuesday and I haven't heard a thing back. And this is abso-fucking-lutely killing me!!!! (There's still another to be emailed but he's a bit high and mighty and I'll email him after I get feedbacks from these two about my motivation letter and CV.)
Like, when you know my whole future depends on a single email of yours, saying that I'm a good PhD candidate (and oh boy, that is a joke; considering that I'm applying for literally one of the best unis in this particular subject in the whole world... I'm well over my head, aren't I?) why would you keep me standing on one leg just to confirm your contact details? I mean I know I'm overreacting a bit considering the deadline is yonks away, but still, urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.8 -
I just want to delete a jira…that’s all just delete it..listen you jira fucks ..just let me delete the fucking thing!!!1
-
Is it gay to like Ed Sheerans music?
He’s one of the few new people with actual talent in my opinion.
Many people say men listening to Lana del Rey are gay so I don’t give a shit anyway.
But I’m still wondering.
How many of the guys without a life (like me) here listen to and actually enjoy listening to Ed Sheraan?
Gaaaaaaaaalway Girl, nananannananannaa gaaaaaalway Girl, nananannananananananananna
That shits is stuck in my head now..22 -
Worst code review had to be when a senior architect told me that my new library was good, but should be a bunch of files that we copy paste from project to project instead.
His comments were just so out of touch with a) what we were trying to fix with the team. b) basic understanding of good modularized code.
I’m far from a stuck up dev. Not stupid enough to think I’m better than everyone, or have nothing to learn from anyone.
But I totally had a “my boss is a ****ing retard” moment. It was hard to listen to him after this as it was hanging over my head “was I wrong? Or is this just no-library man striking again?” -
PM wrote a really high-level requirement doc and asked me about estimates.
Me: Well, functionality-wise it will take 4-5 days provided the design is ready.
PM: Our designers are really full on schedule; Just do it! Expand your creativity. I believe in your taste of UX
Me: Listen, the implemented design will take much more time to change if we go back and forth. It's better to revise on the designer's screen.
PM: Oh don't be so modest! I trust you already. Just focus on the functionality, get it done first. For the design we'll talk about it later. Move fast and break things!
Me: ..Sigh. This is gonna end up badly.6 -
I just fucking hate compiling this fucking C# (ASP.NET) code and then transferring to staging server. Fuck you.....no no no listen to me fuck you and fuck this shit.8
-
I fucking hate everyone who sends me a voice message, Just text me motherfucker how can I find some info we discussed earlier, you want me to listen to all your stupid messages with your lazy ass voice to only find the shit I'm looking for.4
-
The other day the department reorganized our entire work area. Couple of developers wanted standing desks (which was denied because the powers-that-be doesn't know what 'standing desks' means..
but that is another rant).
VP wanted two more desks in our area, but short by only a couple of feet (so only one desk would fit, not a big deal)
DevA: "You know, if we had standing desks, we could move closer together by at least a couple of feet. Might be a little cramped, but at least we'd all be happy."
Me: "Who the -bleep- are these 'all' people? If you want to stand, then stand up, get a box for your keyboard/mouse and raise your monitor. You don't speak for me."
And DevA is pushing 300lbs, drinks soda all day, eats out of the vending machine most of the day, etc...standing desk? What for 3 minutes before I have to listen to
"Oh...my back..oh...my ankles...I hate this place for forcing me to use a standing desk!"
I run 5K every morning, lift weights, run over lunch, etc...when I'm at work, I'm ready to sit down!1 -
I can't be the only one with a parent so inept with technology...
My father was an architect. He doesn't do well with any tech device, computer or mobile - all my attempts to teach / explain to him how to do one thing or another (concept of an account in app store, for starters, or how to find the app store icon on his iPhone) are viciously blocked out, and his defense -
"Listen, you know I don't understand, these things, I'm not a pro. If you'd asked me about how to mix I'd answer because there I'm a pro"
We live in different countries, btw, so have to teach him by phone.
After each unsuccessful attempt from my side he proceeds to ridicule me saying "Well and I thought you were a pro at these things"
Sigh.7 -
> TheSmartGuy: listen, IHateForALiving, I know you're a frontend developer, but here in the backend...
Just so we're clear: I'm NOT a frontend developer.
I'm a full stack developer.
I just so happen to always end up working on the frontend because you bunch of handless monkeys wouldn't be able to write a webpack config file if your life depended on it.
It's not you taking care of my inability to work on the backend, it's me being relegated to using only half of my skills because you ugly things refuse to evolve. I could take your job in a breath, I wouldn't trust you with writing a css selector.7 -
Audiophiles here?
My Beats In-ear earphones just died, after 3 years of pretty frequent use. The cable is broken and one side is dead and the other side is flickering. Now I am looking for a replacement. And I hope that someone here can suggest me something that fits my needs :s
First question would be wireless or cable. I am not to sure yet, I think I'd prefer cable because I don"t need to charge them and the possibility of loosing them is not as big. However I am open to wireless earphones as well, since they are pretty good to listen to music during workout.
I want my earphones to have deep bass and clear highs.
One of the most important aspects is durability. If its a cable earphone, I would prefer something with strong durable cables, nothing flimsy that breaks again in a short time.
Oh yeah and the price shouldn"t break the bank, I am thinking about something <100 euros.
What would you guys recommend me?42 -
I left class early today
I understand me and this kid are both students and both of us are still learning. But when he asks me to help him solve an issue I fucking expect him to listen then try what I’m saying unless he knows for certain that my idea won’t work
I don’t expect him to start ignoring the person HE asked for help to try things on his own and end up DELETING THE FUCKING GRADLE FOLDER because the 1.5.1 version of Android studio my teacher makes us use told him gradle was corrupt
I also didn’t expect him to tell the professor I didn’t tell him not to And them end up with the professor fucking assigning me to help him fix everything even though the kid won’t listen to me anyway refusing to just copy he java and XML to a new project so I grabbed my stuff and left Fuck that bullshit
I understand we’re both students and in the grand scheme of things we’re both idiots. But when I’m asked for help I expect the person to at least listen and not do something absolutely stupid like delete something we don’t understand how to fix
Now I’m making common sense a requirement to ask me for help I don’t need any extra stress I’ll deal with the consequences of walking out tomorrow But I can’t say I regret it1 -
I don't want to use Visual Basic!
I'm a 17 year old boy and I have a couple of years of experience with coding. At school we had to choose between a couple of things to do 2 hours every week. One of them was about computers and programming. Sounds fun, right?
The teacher is letting us code in Visual Basic in MS Excel. I tried to explain him that I know how to code, but he still wants me to listen to him.
He doesn't even use any indentation! I can't look at it and I don't want to use VB it sucks just let me use js or anything else but not VB! Why won't you just accept I'm 10 times better than you! Just let me do my thing!
Now he thinks he can challenge me with a password strength checker. I want to use js, some regex to make it very short and efficient and a nicely styled web page. But now I'll be forced to use a horrible programming language (VB) I never used before!24 -
I begin with the optimism and the joy that I am creating something new that will improve people's lives.
I listen to the user and analyze the current process in depth.
I try to suggest additional value to the system for the users consideration. Sometimes they do not realize we can improve 10x rather than 2x.
I learn what the users goals are and what they want out of the system. We think about reports and downstream value. Sort of working from the end to the beginning (data ingests and upstream processes that will feed the system).
After the user signs off on the requirements and deliverables and I have a realistic project plan I begin to code.
It works and has worked for me every time for a long long time. -
Another fun thing. This morning one of the first mails i read was a issue about a bug in our software.
This was a bug i mentioned months ago but there was nog evidence where i searched like mails chats or tickets.
If people would just listen to me this bug was solved months ago but back then i got a reaction like: "works over here" while i tested it on two different instances with buggy results each time. -
when I was like 11yrs. old, my father has bought a new phone for himself. I used to play a lot of gta vice city those days on my PC. one day i got to use a card reader to exchange multimedia between PC and the phone.
so, i copied gta vice city in my phone. bcoz i knew that i can move around the players using the phone's d-pad. I was left broken when I saw the error msg. in the phone: "file not recognised"
:-/
After few days, my friend wanted to play gta-vc, so he asked for the game CD. but this guy didn't have a computer in his home and he won't listen to me when I try to tell him, "you can't just play a video game in your DVD-player with a TV remote??" So, I gave it to him.
Next day, he was angry at me, bcoz the game didn't worked, obviously it was me who hve messed something in it. :-/
What utterly stupid things you guys or your friends have done?7 -
At first, my family was like "Don't waste your time on the computer, in college, you will learn how to code". I didn't listen, I started learning C#, but somehow I ended up learning C++ lol. Then I started with C, assembly, and SystemVerilog.
After they saw how good I was at it. They started supporting me. I don't blame them for not supporting me at first, they were ignorant about the topic, so they were blindly making assumptions. -
Today's argument .4 of second is 400ms not 40ms. For fuck sake listen to what I am saying instead try to bully me into fucking believing your bull shit you fucking cock womble!3
-
*Filling out unit test plan for tester which is an Excel Document*
*Excel keeps trying to correct capitalization on a word that I want capitalized over and over*
LISTEN YOU PIECE OF SHIT! If I didn't want to capitalize that word I wouldn't have capitalized it! Just do what I tell you to do! YOU ARE A PIECE OF SOFTWARE! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!4 -
After I took some time off from work, I decided to accept the offer for maintenance of two projects. Those are from two old clients, so I think I will not stress too much, since I know what to expect most of the time.
The issue is, sometimes I have a hard time to keep concentration. In the past, I could work for 3h straight, totally focused, would pause for 20min for stretch, and then come back to work. Now I can only focus for 30min or 1h, and after a pause, it's hard to concentrate again.
There is a lot going on in my life right now, and I know the worry is probably distracting me. I'm trying to listen instrumental music, drinking coffee... But that's not enough. Somebody has any tip?6 -
My friend started giving me advice without me even asking. She didn't listen why I chose to do something but kept on saying it's a wrong decision and why I will regret.
I asked to some people in my network and they agreed with me.
During the conversation with my friend, I felt very furious ans once tried to stop her calmly but she didn't listen, in the end I hung up by saying that I'll talk to her later and ended the conversation without getting into shitty conversation.8 -
After a management meeting about the companies first e-commerce initiative which I proposed and protocol-typed with assistance from internal and 3rd party resources, I returned with my boss to her office feeling on cloud nine as everything had been accepted / approved and the project was green lit!!!
She turns to me and says “I’m going down to the local sex shop and buying the largest dildo, strap it on, and then they will listen to me too”... I just sat, staring at the floor ...
Queue the crickets...4 -
There are two kinds op people. People who like to help because they feel sorry for you, and people who want to help to proof themselves.
The second one is annoying as fuck. Even though i asked for help, it doesn’t mean you are better in it then me.
You should listen to what i have to say. Stuck up anti social asshole.7 -
Argh recruiters!! After 4 emails back and forth because he won’t tell me the company name I agree to a call. Basic role for a basic company. Acknowledges he’s asking for me to take a pay cut but doesn’t listen to the reasons why I would. I ask about the hardware - doesn’t know. Tells me that two competing frameworks are being used. Wants me to agree to an interview without listening 😡🤬😡then tells me I will need to do a technical test, jog the f**k on.2
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Fuck you BBC, I just want toblosten to fucking radio and you tell me that I "need" to sign in.
I do not want you to tell me what to losten to. I do not want "relevant" content, just want to listen to 30 mins of news.
Then you say it is easy to signup, but then ask for my exact date of birth as the first question wtf ...
5 -
I am on my way home from an 8.5 hour non-stop call with one of our software suppliers...
How to you guys handle situations like that?
Consentrating became very difficult at the end to be honest.
And if it my teammates would not have been there (they gave me food, sth to drink and filled my coffee cup) I would have snapt after 4 hours...
The only thing I feel capable of doing for now is to listen to extremly loud music9 -
One poor pepega like me will spend days optimizing a web app, reducing the bundle size, reusing components as much as possible to save space, carefully choosing the right libraries for the right jobs and doing some careful tayloring to bring them in line with your needs, choosing the right webpack plugins to compile everything exactly like you want and keeping track of every dependency to make sure nothing unwanted makes its way to the final product, caching results to avoid any unnecessary call to the server, then some random team leader randomly forces you to drop in jquery-era plugins just because they look nice and won't listen to a word you're saying.
I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS A SWEET ALERT; I DIDN'T USE IT FOR A FUCKING REASON.2 -
No matter how many times, or whichever way I explain, he still doesn't get it. Are people so fucking blinkered they do not want to listen, or even read what you write. Back story, produced some web design visuals for a client, and fortunately he had the good sense to listen and employ a copywriter. She had the first draft done when i was putting together the styling, so i placed actual copy on the visuals. 2 weeks pass, still no answer. I send the same email to him, every 4 days and cc his PA for good measure. Finally, he says he wants to make some tweaks to the copy. I explain that any copy changes can be done via the CMS once the site is built, and can I proceed and build the site? He replies I need to make changes to the copy first. I explained again about the difference between the visual and the actual website, same response. You Fucking Infuriate me! Cunt!
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Programming is a passion I’ve had since I was a kid and I saw my brother’s books on Basic and Pascal. YouTube didn’t exist back then... Stack Overflow didn’t exist and yahoo was my search engine after having to listen to the dial-up sounds. Once I found the right tools to learn on my own, after my first hello world program, I didn’t stop.
The fact that I’m still making time to write even a few lines of code every day, go through courses and dive into documentations makes me hope that one day I’ll be good enough!2 -
I AM ABOUT TO KICK SOME PROFESSORS ASSES!!!!!!!!!!
THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE MAKING GO MAD BEYOND MY BOUNDS WITH THERE MOTHERFUCKING STUPIDITY AND SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS.
LISTEN YOU FUCKS I WORK AS A PROGRAMMER TO PAY FOR MY FUCKING TUITION. NO IT IS NOT A PART-TIME JOB. I FUCK UP MY SCHEDULE SO I CAN CAME HERE TO THIS SHIT LEARNING SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU FUCKERS DO NOT HAVE A LECTURE AFTER HOURS.
SO WE I SAID THAT I CAN ONLY CAME TO THIS CLASS AT THIS TIME AND DAY OF THE WEEK I AM NOT BULLSHITING YOU.
SO DO US A FAVOR AND STOP BEING SO FUCKING STUPID AND GIVING ME THAT CYNICAL SMILE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
FUCK YOU FUCKER AND YOUR PIECE OF SHIT CLASS.2 -
Client wants something that makes no sense in UX land. We tell them that it makes no sense. Client doesn't listen, tells us to do it anyway.
We do it anyway. Client has doubts about a small detail of the implementation. And asks us what our advice would be.
My advice would be that you start listening to the professionals. How am I supposed to give "advice" on a detail of something I disagree with in general?
Her: "I'm going to cut off one of my hands."
Me: "I recommend you do not do that."
Her? "Would you cut off the left or the right hand? I can't decide."
Me, saying: "I have no preference in this."
Me, thinking: "You should cut off your fucking ears, you're obviously not using them."2 -
Dear BOSE, how can you make a "smart" speaker so dumb and complicated? Why require to use an app that needs frequent updates and takes up so much storage space for ... what exactly?
Dear Spotify, why not add features to the web player if your app does not run on older devices? Which native feature would your app need that is missing on iOS 13?
Dear companies making money due to the fact that some real artists make real music that real people love to listen to, how come your apps and gadgets always make me nostalgic about actual records and make me tune in to an actual radio station at the end of the day? At least you keep showing us not to rely on digital technology and rather go visit actual live concerts to listen to live music in the real world more often!2 -
God bless Silenz App for Mac, I can listen to music and stay aware of the bullshit discussion around me.
https://silenzapp.com/1 -
I hate it when people ask for help, but then they don't stop and listen to what you are saying to help them. They just continue trying stuff on their own.
Through skype chat today I asked a coworker what the log said and provided the exact location of the log file. After he keeps sending me messages for 10 minutes on different things he is trying and changing, I ask him to just send me the log file and I'll look at it. His response was, I don't know where the log file is for this program. -
So no decent internet for me the whole damn weekend and I have no more podcasts left to listen to while working. FUUUUU ...
The internet "technician" that was supposed to connect the house to VDSL really fucked my connection up - I escalated through support and I can't fix it.
(I hate it when I can't fix things myself! Especially electronic ones! Especially simple electronic ones! Damn it!)
Einmal mit Profis arbeiten!*
*[Translation, angry German to angry English:
I'd very much like to work with professionals. One. Fucking. Time.]6 -
I like talking to uber drivers with some limited tech experiences. My uber today was telling me about when he was helping his kid pick parts for their custom desktop as well as setting it up and the weird issues they ran into over time due to it being their first time installing windows from nothing and their troubleshooting process to solve things I might consider basic problems
Simple things yeah. But still interesting to listen about. Maybe I'm just simple and easily entertained -
YouTube interrupting me with an advert that is 3x as loud as my music with annoying jingles that make my ears bleed.
I don’t want to buy Spotify pro because I’m poor okay let me just listen to music on YouTube in peace.11 -
Who of you needs some non-disturbing background music while coding?
echo "g(i,x,t,o){return((3&x&(i*((3&i>>16?\"BY}6YB6%\":\"Qj}6jQ6%\")[t%8]+51)>>o))<<4);};main(i,n,s){for(i=0;;i++)putchar(g(i,1,n=i>>14,12)+g(i,s=i>>17,n^i>>13,10)+g(i,s/3,n+((i>>11)%3),10)+g(i,s/5,8+n-((i>>10)%3),9));}"|gcc -xc -&&./a.out|aplay
A while ago I found this in a Youtube-Video from computerphile.
I always listen to it or some variations if I need to stay focused.
Works for me.2 -
Oh Lord give me the strength and the brainpower to step a way from freelancing or at least overcome the humongous pile of shite tied to the aforementioned barely lucrative activity.
AMEN !!
Recently got a client. We had an agreement on requirements, deadlines and on pricing. It's a job that can be done in a week if all the resources are at hand.
He reaches back a couple of days later and says :
Him: Listen I am on an intermediate...
Me: Mmhmm.
Him: I had a talk with the actual owner and he can only pay you in June.
Me: I see, but that I can't do. That means if the website is live by the 15th I'll have to wait for 2 weeks at least before getting paid.
You'll have to come up with something that makes more sense.
fml.7 -
Kid I work on high school tech team (mostly hardware repair) who tries to be just like me and has no clue what he's doing and refuses to listen when I explain things to him
He Saw me edit the registry to unblock my developer tools (school laptop) and see he decides to try the same thing
Completely fucked his registry up causing me to have to fix it (with minimum knowledge myself) so our boss doesn't know I edited something I'm technically not supposed to and he restricts developer tools in a way I can't access at all without domain admin credentials -
I would never listen to music while writing code because I thought it would distract me to much. I've started doing this lately and I found that I have been more productive. I've noticed I can focus on writing code for a longer (much longer) amount of time before I need to refocus or take a short break.
I've created a "coding" playlist which is growing daily.
Who here finds they are more productive at work while listening to music and what sort of music do you listen to?6 -
I have to listen to Pandora or something when I program... it's gotta be low volume, and the song can't be too bad or I'll get distracted from my hatred of it, and the song can't be too good because then I'll start singing along. Why am I so prissy about this? It's the only thing I'm prissy about, not like a norm dev… I'll use any editor, I don't care, any OS… but the music gets to me.2
-
Woke up to a migraine... Went to work (this wasnt the best idea), got sent home for the rest of the day. Riding a bike while your brain feels like it wants to exit your skull is not the best thing. Then it proceeds, puking is sometimes a sign for me that the worst part is over. Then head movement headache for some more hours and everything is fine again. Timespan of the whole procedure is about 10 to 12 hours.
At least I have a version of migraine with a temporary vision restriction beforehand according to the doctor some years ago. If I would listen to that signs I could prepare better...4 -
So, might be the first time ever but I have a reasonable client. Oh wait, life isn't that nice!
Boss, stop picking fights over stupid shit with the client!
Boss, actually show up to meetings you called!
Boss, do you want to get us fired from the contract?
Boss, stop threatening the client! They hold all the chips here!
Boss, actually listen to my technical advice since you are not technical!
Boss, go die in a hole!
Boss, I want your job and paycheck you do nothing!
Boss, don't tell me you are tired and we can talk tomorrow when you kept me up until 3am the previous night then called an 8am meeting!
Boss, give everybody, including the client, more than 2 hours notice for a meeting, then get pissed when the client doesnt show. They have other meetings!1 -
Not exactly a dream, but during an internship where I tried to engineer a way to listen in on Bluetooth communications, I went so deep down the rabbit hole that I once half-asleepedly thanked my girlfriend for "keeping an eye on the Bluetooth channels for me, because these little twerps just keep jumping around all over the place"
-
So yesterday i upgraded the packages on my pi, docker being one of them. After that all my containers were down and couldn't be restarted. The error message said the container was already started...
Using the internet i found out other people had that problem too after upgrading to docker 18.02. I ended up removing all containers and searching the bash-history for the docker-run-commands to create new containers.
DOCKER, LISTEN UP. YOU'RE COOL AND SAVED ME A LOT OF TIME. YOU HAVE MINOR ISSUES, BUT THAT'S OK. BUT IF YOU CRASH MY CONTAINERS ONCE MORE I'LL GO CAPTAIN AHAB ON YOU.
Oh, and some more armhf-containers would be nice. WHY CAN I ONLY RUN DOCKER-REGISTRY ON AMD64-ARCHITECTURE? -
So, due insanely annoying youtube algo, I just wanted to listen related music to given author - not really what I usually listen to. You know the youtube drill, it's suggestion feed sucks hard.
So I kick in incognito, my typical workaround and wait a second... it prompts me to check out youtube music (didnt know its a thing) and well, well, well... It's actually pretty nice. And solves my suggestion feed problems.
Nice. I have no idea when they deployed that but it's lookin preetty nice (at first glance) and dosent use as much bandwidth. Sweet, exacly what Dubby needed.
(said person who dislikes spotify cuz 60% of music I listen to is just not there) -
More and more getting myself caught thinking about the code more than writing it. I mean I draft it, it is usually very shitty at the first moment, and insted of refinifng and adding spaces to moments I just sit think, write some ideas in my notebook, search on Stack overflow, listen to the music, and wait until the code talks to me.
I know it sounds like some hippie shit, but it actually happens and really solves the problem.
Anyone has the same thing? -
How the hell do I understand want people want???
I listen to them, I pay attention to them (for the most part), but for the most part when someone assigns me something but it is not clearly explained, they expect me know what to do.
I had the most unproductive meeting with this guy I work for because of this... he had a problem, so we worked on ideas for this solution, and I thought I knew exactly what he wanted. We were getting somewhere. I get ready to leave for lunch and it turns out that is not at all what he wanted. We're back to square one.
Is it me, or are people really bad at explaining things?5 -
Does anyone here listen to game dev related podcasts? If so, which ones?
From me, I can definitely recommend The Debug Log. They've got a lot of energy, knowledge and experience. Also the way they talk makes me feel a lot more motivated.1 -
Had a production issue last night where db hung so today whole team was investigating.
I checked the graphs and noticed a huge spike in inserts during a few hours. Normally it's distributed evenly through the day.
Emailed team with screenshots and also mentioned it to someone but then forgot to follow up... I assumed they were looking into it (I don't work in the same office as them).
Someone just logged in and notice the same thing happening right now... which made me remember.
So I asked him, did you see my email?
Silence....
Also got another guy doing a sort of code review on a util app I wrote that deletes certain records from our db and why I'm not just using SQL. I tools him the most obvious way doesn't work I tried but he won't believe me so let him do try it himself.
Anyway, these few days just feels like "why doesn't anyone listen to me?" ... and just feeling overqualified and sort of not part of the team again....3 -
About bad companies and bad tech decisions.
Old $JOB: "You know, we are going to implement our own UI in Angular"
Me: "Maybe we can use something pre-made and then customize the colors..."
Old $JOB: "Shut up you always want to do the things in your own way"
Two years later: UI is unfinished, i quitted the job.
Two years and one month later: Sparkbox proved that using pre-made components cuts the hassle in half: https://sparkbox.com/foundry/...
Those companies who NEVER listen to people who wants to try the right thing DESERVE TO FAIL.1 -
I always thought working remotely from home would be the dream. Now instead of a boss giving me shit, I get to listen to my girlfriend complaining about how much I work. God forbid I spend time doing something I enjoy.3
-
Firstly, my main wish is to work in the office. I don't like remote stuff and all that. I would like to have a job where you have to go every day except weekend at a certain time and be there for example 7 hours. I would love to have a good who will tell me what to do, I like to listen to people. I would also want to have a secretary, Im not organized. I would like to do either .NET development, Web Development or 3D modeling. If im working .NET, I would like to work in Microsoft. If Im working Web, I would like to work anywhere, with an office, of course. I don't know, I just love the feeling offices give me and the atmosphere in them. And if im working 3D modeling, I would like to work in Bethesda. Oblivion played a big role in my childhood. I don't care for salary, it doesn't have to be anything big, just enough for bills and my children (which I hope ill have).
There, dream of a 15 yo4 -
So I'm pretty sure that when I went all in to Apple's Siri shitfest and turned on "Hey, Siri" that I had to accept some kind of privacy notice or some shit. Essentially, being an iPhone user and turning on that service, I've agreed to allow them to listen to me.
But what about the guy who sits next to me? Are his rights to privacy being infringed because my phone can also hear him? If so, who is the one infringing? Me or Apple?
Apple is just an example, but imagine if someone has an Echo in an office or a Google Home. Or what if you're unknowingly standing next to someone with a Google or Apple device that's always listening?
I know my old Android phone had picked up people at the grocery store before. I never turned on "Ok Google" but I used the speech to text of the keyboard a few times. When people showed how you could go see what Google had "heard", I was surprised to find how many OTHER people it picked up.
Anyway, just some thinking. -
and another case of my parents discovering new technologies i alteady told them about:
my mum hast just found out about hyperloop, after watching on tv, and is like "wow omg that's incredible 😯😶🤔"
me thinking "well good you (finally) know about it, welcome to the future😅"
if i told them, they would be like "oh ok interesting" and then forget about it the next second😑😪2 -
I need more people to listen to me. Sometimes, ActionListeners and EventListeners are just not enough.
-
Been thinking about this a lot and I'd love your thoughts. Recently a friend was starting in dev. They asked me for some advice. I just said "be humble and hungry". I've built my career on that phrase. Be willing to listen and willing to put in the work.
What is your best advice for the young devs out there?4 -
My teamleader blabbering about how I shouldn't listen to late shows with my earbuds while I work is rubbing me the wrong way.
"How can you focus while listening to them hurr durr", as if we didn't all do 20 tasks at once on a daily basis anyway.6 -
Does anyone watch the movie The Mack (1973)?
Today I am working with some legacy code written by a shitty developer who isn't with us anymore. Every time I make a change the code screams at me with problems.
Every error makes me feel like saying this quote from Goldie the pimp...
"List to me and listen good. I don't give a shit what happened to you!.......get back out there and get me my money!" -
Whoever came up with the idea that a chat application should make that god-awful, annoying, high pitched, ping sound, second in annoyance only to a mosquito buzzing in my ear; every time someone sends me a message, is destined for the seventh circle of hell.
Yea I'm looking at you IBM. At least add in a damn mute button for your application. I spent 10 literal minutes searching for a mute notification sounds button in the settings screen, which looks like it was designed in 1990 btw. Found jack.
So thanks to you lovely people, I have to mute my entire laptop and I can't listen to songs on it anymore.2 -
everyone warned me, but did I listen!
I've done enough troubleshooting to last me a lifetime, I'm just gonna rollover and die
fuck you windows 10
3 -
Hey, listen. If the first thing you have to say to me in the morning is nothing but a whining story of what "terrible" stuff happend again.
SHUT THE FUCK UP 'CAUSE I CARE AS MUCH AS I CAN SEE TWO STUPID ASS-TO-MOUTH FUCKING ALIENS BEYOND THE BORDERS OF THE FUCKING VISIBLE UNIVERSE!2 -
Went on this 2 day business show...
Next to me a 100 inch tv... 4k quite awesome jittery video at points ? Codec or cable is wrong...
What was on the right of my stand ... To the cake.
"How to make money online"
He proceeded to state things like I now have 20mill my dream car etc ...
*Me trying not to laugh\be disgusted*
His power point ... Well a 10 year old can do better looks built in 1995
People were buying into it ! How the fuck does someone who has apparently 20mill give such a shit design to people and they listen...
I seriously wanted to go on and say... Don't listen to this fraud this, piece of shit snake oil salesmen.
But I didn't... And.. I regret it. On the bright side ... My stand had the shortest setup in the whole place bet by far the best websites! -
In the new job as "Consultant", one of my duties is to maintain the website. Now, the website is based on PHP 5.6 (which they are still using mail method) and without git or sg-git and of course, it is based on cPanel.
Now, I update the website in real time i.e. working on cPanel itself. This is because I don't do for the front end, I do it for SEO. So one day, they reported a "feature" as a bug and assigned it to solve me, I took my time solved it, they did not like it, I reverted it back and I had to listen to a lecture because I did not test it.
Imagine old "wise" ass hats giving a lecture which they do not know about in the first place, 12 of them precisely, yeah that's what happened to me. -
Thing<T>
Them: it's that thing<a>!
Me: actually it's this thing<b>.
Them: oh of course! Because of these reasons!
*Next day*
Me: it turned out it is was thing<b>
Them: oh so I was right! I knew it was thing<b>. I'm so smart you should listen to me more.
***********
Every day about anything. Why are people so annoying?3 -
For the last time, ES5 DOESN'T support optional function parameters. gulp --production fails when running on testing when you do that.
*fixes gulp tasks to do gulp --production by default*
Next day : hey, why does gulp keep failing.
IT IS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME THE LAST 100 TIMES WHEN I SAID OPTIONAL PARAMETERS DOESN'T WORK WHEN MINIFYING
Let's see how you do it now.3 -
yay!!! Another PROD issue on something that we've had PROD issue on and well should be an easy fix... Cuz the root cause is prolly bc the idiot that implemented the logger had no idea what the fuck they were doing... And well the whole team didn't bother to ask me (and never listen to me anyway).... WHO WOULD PROBABLY SHOW THEM HOW THEY FCKED UP...
BUT ....
¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who'll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. ... All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself."
--Chuck Close
Motivation, inspiration... works for either.1 -
Me: "You should go with this other option for the software. It's cheaper and you can do more."
Client: "No. This more expensive and less-capable thing I chose is better. We'll make it work."
[several weeks pass]
Client: "This isn't working. Why didn't it work?"
Me: "You have to upgrade to a more expensive plan, or switch to the other solution I told you about."
Client: "No. We'll make it work."
Me: *facepalm*3 -
Sometimes I put my earbuds in and don't even listen to anything just so people will leave me alone and not involve me in idle "chit chat"... and some people just don't give a fuck. 😑
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I hope, that the next time you ask for a raise, they ask me what I think... So that I can say "well it cannot even go check a database to see what it has at its dispoal... Demanded 2 big resources stop their work to listen to his fake problem statement.... Only to realize he didn't even check the fucking database..." please move this person back to being a junior... This is basic level shit man..🦄
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Fellow next to me asked how do I deal with assignments so quickly. I told him that I don't ask any questions and just do my work. He proceeded asking me questions during the entire session. They don't really listen do they?
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Still studying, but considering dropping out. I've been working part time in the field since last months of highschool. Going to University seems like a waste of time. I just sit at lectures and listen about things I already know. Worst part of it is that it's extremely depressing, seems like I'm just wasting time I could be spending doing something actually productive. Seems like the only thing keeping me there currently is sunk cost fallacy.
Last week went to a startup conference and set up multiple interviews in some startups and if they go well I'm finally saying goodbye to University.1 -
throwback to when i fell for this one girl and she stopped being my friend after i told her i felt things with her and she ran back to her toxic ex that she cries about to me. we called almost everynight and she would just talk about her and cry and all i would do is comfort and listen to her. wish i could go back and never talk to her again.2
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Dear reviewers, feedback givers, coworkers, clients and critics...
There is a subtle difference between constructive criticism and just spewing hate!
One offers advice & points in the direction of a better solution, while the other one makes me value you less, as a human being...
If your comment/review/feedback is:
“I don’t like it, I don’t know why, I just don’t” - please keep it to yourself because it makes us less likely to listen to you when you actually have something worthwhile to say...
Yours,
Any and all creative professionals,
including developers.1 -
!dev
*packing ventilator*
Me: Allright, now all that's left is to bring it down to the basement.
Grandmother: yeah, but not today.
M: Why not?
G: Because I feel exhausted.
M: I would bring it down get bring it down for you
G: No, I feel exhausted
And I feel exhausted by your constant inability to listen when there's minimal stress and an opinion / recommendation that slighly differs from yours.
I shit you not, when I asked her to repeat my offer she had no idea what I just had offered...1 -
!rant
At the dentist AGAIN. This time a proper oral surgeon. Informed me they are ONLY doing novacaine today when the referring dentist said I would have to be put under ffs. It's like these people don't listen.
I wonder if I can get a refund when they *also* realize I don't respond to novacaine.1 -
Am I the only person who doesn't listen to music. Everyone I tell is shocked and asks me how I am still alive. It's not that I hate music I am just not listing to it.2
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Oh... my... gosh. I don't think I've ever been more infuriated by people that talk about how much money their company is going to make. They talk about what they're going to buy, what they're going to do. How everyone they don't like is going to feel sorry for ever crossing them. And then they do absolute jack shit in terms of actually working towards their fantasy company that is going to make them billions. Know why? They're LAZY. It's nice to dream, but be realistic. Fuck. Listen, 90% or more of people are just average. If you don't work towards making yourself great, of course you're not going anywhere. Most people will never be rich. It's just how it is.
Bonus annoyance points for trying to make me do all the work for the company that will make them billions. -_- -
From my command center at home like all self-respecting super villians. The League of Evil wants me to join their open space! Isn't that ridiculous? How can we conquer the world while we have to listen to Becky's personal calls???1
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Here's an incomplete list of things my mother did to me:
- She insulted my body when I was 13. She told me it was weak and feminine. I identified as a boy back then, and I was going to the gym.
- She told me my face was ugly because of acne.
- She shamed me for having better vision than her.
- She shamed me for having longer eyelashes than her, the told me I looked like a girl.
- She always wanted me to learn everything and have all A's. When I got B+, she destroyed me mentally every time. When I got C, this was a catastrophe. Yet, if I told her she was wrong about mundane things like how many volts there are in an outlet, it was me who's in the wrong, despite me having an A for physics. There was no contradiction here in her eyes.
- She forced me to carry heavy things as a punishment. At the age of fifteen, I had an inguinal hernia. The surgery was needed. After that, doctors told me (and her) that I should go easy on carrying heavy things for a month. She didn't listen and forced me to carry heavy things again after two weeks. I had another inguinal hernia. Now, I needed a much more invasive laparoscopy to implant nylon webbing. Because of all of that, now I have messy, ugly scars all over my belly. Guess what happened next? She shamed me for having them!
- Since I was 18, even though I was studying in the uni, she demanded money for rent, for me living in my parents' house I grew up in. The sum she demanded was 27x my scholarship money.
- When I broke my toe, it was obvious that I broke it. It was swollen, twice the size of a normal toe, for two weeks straight. She told me to quit whining and go to PE/Taekwon-do lessons she forced me to attend.10 -
Taking over from/working with an external dev company on an existing project.
Listen Mr CEO, I'm not here to mess with your firm's code and undo all of your work. I'm just doing my job. Stop telling me that the only thing left to do is "data" without any context. The site that I'm here to work on isn't even finished. -
!rant
...
.UseKestrel(options =>
{
options.Listen(new IPAddress(new byte[]{ 192, 168, 178, 20 }), 5000);
})
...
Look at this easy piece of code(that I added) from an Asp.NET Core 2 template project(MVC). I needed only to add this piece of code to WebHost.CreateDefaultBuilder() (in the Program.cs) to be able to setup a working WebServer which will listen and answer on that IP(local network machine IP) and port, then I opened that port from my modem on this local IP, then used DynDNS with noip.com, tested out on my smartphone with 4G connection and it does work!
This is the EASIEST web project setup and test that I've ever tried and that let me showcase something from my machine to the entire world! :')
Great job Microsoft; can't wait to try the cross-platform of this open standard. -
The hardest thing about writing code that works can be logic. For example, figuring out how to say you want to go to the next page when the form submit button is pressed, but not actually move to the next step is an error was thrown during processing.
This is one of those times when. I force a random member of my family to sit there and listen to me talking, pretty much to myself, until I figure it out. But hey, it generally turns out pretty good! (If not my energetic nephew)
4 -
omg, I hate my managers who always make engineering design decisions, literally, my manager made shortcuts and decisions that I told him not to do, now we have to live with this shit. which can be fine, but then in 1:1 he tells me that I have a short-term vision, I am like hello you stupid piece of shit, don't you remember telling us what to do and we pushed back to you for all the dumb decisions you have made. my manager has no idea about technology and yet people listen to him for engineering decision, stupid.5
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Please listen to me.
I just want a small, simple project. Was that all too much to ask for? I didn't want anything big and permanent.1 -
I *PAY* DI.fm to listen to music while programming and they still cut me off after 4h every fucking day completely destroying my programming flow inflicting damage way way worse than the meager 9$ or whatever the shit is I pay them for the "PRO" "Premium level" "service". ffs4
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I fucking hate Windows... Yes I know it's beating a dead horse, but bear with me for a second here:
I really didnt mind it before, but I fucked up majorly on my dual-booted PC yesterday (dont fuck around with systemd if you don't know what you're doing) and needed to reinstall both Linux and Windows. Linux still has some hardware problems (second screen's not being detected), but else everything's just dandy.
But Windows... Holy motherfucking horse-cum drenched piece of goddamn trash! Shit wont listen to me!! I can click in that retarded settings app whatever I want and it still merrily keeps doing whatever the hell it wants 🙄🙄 Why exactly do I still put up with that?!
(It's gaming)6 -
---- Startup RantLife ----
In this episode, we introduce Brian, this guy is skilled and tries to provide an answer or explanation for everything (even if it's not work related).
By now you may guess this is the one that I know everything and you should listen to me type.
The problem with Brian that he wants only his solution to things and to be written exactly as he sees it and arguing with him is a waste of time.
How do you guys deal with developers like Brian?3 -
"You listen to me, you muscle-bound, handsome Adonis. Tech is reserved for people like me, okay? The freaks, the weirdos, the misfits, the geeks, the dweebs, the dorks! Not you!"
— Richard fucken Hendricks
#bestshowever1 -
Honestly? In a way. The degree itself did not bring me anything more that I already had. The process, on the other hand, was very useful. Both medicine and SW engg. courses taught me a lot: patience, manipulation, listen carefuly to what is asked/told [rather than assuming I know it all], dealing with consequences of my decisions, teamwork, "I must", "I mustn't", "I will", etc.
As for tech skills - nay, I didn't get anything new from IT course [although I've learned a freaking lot in med]. -
“httpOnly cookies prevent XSS attacks”… wow.
As if not being able to get your cookies is going to stop me from doing bad things.
When I'm in via XSS, it's over. I'm changing the page content to your sign-in form with “please sign in again” notice, but it sends email/password straight to me. What percentage of users is going to enter their data? What do you think? With password managers prefilling data, and the annoyance being one “enter” hit away, I think a lot of users will fall for that. No one, including you, will be able to tell the difference without devTools.
You can rotate the session token, but good luck rotating the user's password.
Oh, did I tell you I could register a service worker using XSS that will be running in background FOREVER?
But don't listen to me. Don't think. Just use httpOnly and hope for the best. After all, your favorite dev youtuber said they could protect you from XSS.4 -
We have a company policy that nobodys allowed to make me read/listen to more than 20 words at a time.6
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I am used as a complexity proxy by my team. I foresee many problems and they do not seem to listen to my advices. And guess who will be blamed if something doesn't work, haha, kill me :)1
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I'm not a fan. Harder to collaborate and discuss things with coworkers. I'm constantly fighting the urge to turn towards my gaming pc and start playing something. I only have one monitor instead of the 2 I have in the office. I suffer from depression and the social isolation will definitely exacerbate that. The commute to my office is less than 15 minutes so I'm barely saving any time there. Pretty much the only benefit for me is not needing headphones to listen to music.1
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Hi,
Maybe this question has been asked before..But
What music or radio you listen to ( if you do ) while working ?
Do you have any recommendations? Share pls
For me I mainly listen to Deephouse mixes or piano complications
Soundcloud && YouTube9 -
Ok, so I saw someone post in Dev rant that the incognito browsing history was stored in the system32 folder so I thought that's quite amusing, I'll tell my cousin to see if he falls for it. Next thing I know he actually deleted it! He then asked me how to fix that. Me being the twat I am told him that the fix was quite simple. All you need to polarise the hard drive to get those sectors to start working again ( literally talking out my a** here to make it sound a little more legit). To do this take the hard drive out and rub a magnet up towards the pins where the cable was connected. He now has a broken hard drive and I have to convince him that it was because he rubbed it the wrong way as I really CBA to have to buy him a new one and get his little laptop up and running again. I really didn't expect him to actually do it or listen to me. To top it all off he wants to study computer science at uni (he's just started collage).2
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For once in your freaking life can you please shut up and stop acting like you know everything and listen to me !7
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Men fo real! I dont rant so much because I think its a negative attitude but let me do it anyway! Listen. My boss boss told me to create a dynamic drop which I did. A backend request then display it on the frontend which is easy, then on code review he ask why do we need this error handling. Bruh as soon as I heard that question, I got covid. Bitch we do need that error handling because if theres error on requests it will set to default options, but I didn’t say anything tho. I just ask what will happen if there’s an error?, he said I don’t think a simple request will respond error if you did it right. Then I agreed and remove the code. Hot damn! Mind you guys. When they started the app there are no test code. 0, nada, nothing inside the spec folder.7
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/* me coding along, making good progress on a project I'm currently working on. About to implement the next feature, which could be implemented in a few different ways. */
Me: this is going swimmingly! Let's get this next part started!
Brain: careful mate...
Me: *spends hours implementing the next part.*
Brain: listen here mate, you should have used the other method. It might make it easier.
Me: *spends hours re-implementing the next part.*
Brain: wait. No you were right. The other way was way better, my bad. Sorry
Me: *slams face in keyboard* I guess I'll try again tomorrow.
/* repeat this process for the next week or so, never actually making any real progress. */ -
My phone is always on silent.
If you want something done, leave a message or listen to my phone message which says... Email me details and I'll sort it -
SMH at parents who fall for online scams, and won't listen to me, their computer science educated son, that it is indeed a scam and do not pay them $400 to fix a pop-up.
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!Rant
What type of music do you guys listen to when coding? Me I like hip hop, electronica, 24/7 hip hop instrumentals on YouTube and some alternative/indie stuff.22 -
GAH! FUCKING VOLUME!!
Logic Pro X is killing either me or my ears!
The track is completely fine when I edit it there but when I export it and listen to the file that single instrument... is WAY TOO LOUD! WHY?
Is the converter script broken or something? Or am I just too blind to see the fucking volume switch?1 -
- Change this, change that too, oh and that too.
* Ok, will do ( however unlikely it's going to be finished correctly, as you didn't consult me before or listen to me about the impact this might have )
- ( just stfu and do it )
Sometime at or after important cutoff:
- Hey this doesn't show up, is that right
* Yeah, you wanted too many things changed at once + fix it and notice a stupid error like an && switched with a ||, or other models that don't know about change x yet
/repeat3 -
Working from 7am, to around 9pm every day for the last two weeks..I expect to have still 2 ruff weeks.. New job, searching for an apartment, moving, and finishing development of 3 websites and 2 mobile apps... Fuck me.. Instead of coffee, I just listen xxxtentacion look at me, just to keep me going.. Finish this and I'll probably say no to more projects just to have time to relax2
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They don't really know what I do, I guess. They listen to me with patience when I explain them something about what I'm doing, they forget what I said and then tells friends, coworkers and costumers that I'm a computer engineer. And also I can install Linux on a computer.
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For me..
Rejection ??
Lol .. as per my experience they don't even have time to reject me :P
If I do not listen any words from them for 1-2 days .. I conclude that I was rejected.. Mostly don't even bother to tell you that you are not selected. -
These people I'm working with won't stop arguing. If it weren't for a teacher staring me down, I'd say this:
"Shut the FUCK up for FIVE SECONDS. 90% of the shit you people say is STARTING AN ARGUMENT.
HEY, DICKHEADS! HERE'S A TIP: STOP BEING SO UPTIGHT AND ACTUALLY LISTEN TO IDEAS, CONSIDER OTHERS OPINIONS, AND TRY *WORKING TOGETHER.*
I'M SURROUNDED BY *IDIOTS*." -
Just realized how much saxophone music helps me write code. Would recommend.
PS: what do you listen to when working?8 -
Had a hell of a week trying to convince a client that "Case Sensitivity" is a real thing in programming languages.
So there was some typo in some third party code which client had provided which was not giving the accurate results, but the client was not ready to listen. I asked him to get the variable rectified from the 3rd party from
var1 to Var1
But he somehow had a notion in the back of his mind that the 3rd party could never ever be wrong and it was surely I who had screwed up the code and he won't even bother the other team.
He was all like "I don't understand anything remotely connected with coding, but do explain me why is this not working ?" (His exact words)
Me (thinking): umm, WTF !!!
After to and fro for the whole damn week, finally able to convince him ( I guess, still doubtful) after giving the video and link of a jsfiddle showing him all the freaking magic of caseSensitivity! -
Yeah, I chickened out a little bit when someone had asked me about my project. Yeah, you covered a little bit for me and I'm thankful for that.
But for heaven's sake you broken vinyl disc I don't have to listen to your accusations for a whole day. Your hypocritical behavior put me in that stressful situation in the very first place.
There's a perfectly fine reason why the teacher occasionally tells you to simply shut the fuck up and I guess you already know that.
Nobody. Wants. To. Fucking. Hear. It.
And I sure as hell hope I won't ever have to -
I noted music is disaster for my work. It distracts I loose my focus and efficiency decrease also.
mood swingings when I listen too much music I have a hated feeling l. So I decided to quite listening music during work.
It may help me in the rest of thr time when I am alone and need to really distress myself3 -
I witness a lot of stupidity (programming related) in college, and my mind is constantly toggling between the following states:
* arguing with stupid people makes me look stupid too, so I should just ignore
* maybe I should educate them
* I am helpless - they won't listen to me
* what sins did I commit in my life that I have to see this
* what in the actual flying fuck are these idiots doing
* I AM STRESSED AND I NEED TO RELEASE IT1 -
I listen to EDM mostly. The beat and the rhythm focuses me and I start to type with the beat of the music.
My favorite is late 90s early 2000s EDM, the darker the better.
So, what kind of music do you listen to while you work?13 -
got a client who wants me to "stream pdf files instead of serving them so users cant download or print them".
as far as I know this is impossible. but he replied we dont care if an IT guy figured out a way to get it but we want majority of normal people to be unable to figure a way around it.
if im gonna need to show ms word and pdf files i will need an iframe or object embed and i cant disable right clicks or listen on ctrl s / p.
any ideas or should i not go for the project :(12 -
Constructs that would help my team mates, but they don't listen to me:
1) classes in general
2) DAO
3) using dates from the API instead of date.now
4) not using exceptions for flow control
5) Stop using StackExchange verbatim, learn from the answer, not ctrl+c,ctrl+v
6) use datatables and read/write once to the db, not each "row" -
Dunno if I would say I've become a good coder.
I regularly see stuff written by others and think, holy shit I couldn't manage that.
But somehow I've built a career out of people telling me what they need and me producing solutions for them. So they pay me.
I'm fairly personable, ask questions, listen to answers, when I fuck up (which is still just as often as 15 years ago) I take responsibility.
On the tech side, just keep doing it. Tackle one problem after another. Ask others and of course:
https://9gag.com/gag/aj9xAmG -
How about, instead of bitching about how bad it is that something that I had nothing to do with doesn't work, actually listen to me while I try and fix it.2
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So here's my question. To print PDF's is better doing via Backend or Frontend? I've been testing and for me, both have some pros and cons, but I want to listen to u guys.2
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suggestion?
Maybe we can have some sort of weekly rantcast podcast (maybe with @dfox hosting it or something through Google Hangouts) where we talk about certain topics and let a group of ranters take the word or something. Not sure if anyone would be interested or would listen to it but it sounded like a good idea to me (it would also grant the ability for people who don't live in NYC or in the US to kind of meet other ranters more personally and stuff like that)
Thoughts on this?3 -
Anyone with good understanding of hardware and/or an operating systems network protocols please assist me. I have questions
When using socket api I know it’s not the actual sockets sending the data but the socket api tells the network protocol to send, receive, listen, connect, etc well what I want to know is how that networking protocol works within the operating system
My second question is more an extension of the first. After the operating system knows what the socket api wants to do and wants to do it how does the transmission and receiving work on the physical layer within the hardware
Idk if what I’m asking makes sense. But if anyone also has any resources or a link that’ll help me on the subject I’d appreciate it. I haven’t found anything on the subjects myself19 -
I have a music that makes me go into hyperfocus. Whenever I listen to it and pay close attention to the instruments, I'm instantly concentrated on a imaginary music clip that I used to refine in my teenage years.
Everything becomes easier to understand after I listen to it.2 -
1. The fucking wifi is retarded at work, it works for 2 minutes then drops connection for 2...
2. The building is also a fucking bunker so 4g signal is pretty much nonexistent
3. Spotify won't let me view my "offline" saved albums unless I go totally "offline" within the app WTF
LET ME LISTEN TO MY FUCKING MUSIC FOR FUCK SAKE6 -
You dipshits! Yet again...
- use contract X from team WeJustFuckUp
- WeJustFuckUps tell me I "used the contract with the wrong semantics"
- What the fuck how is that possible!? Explain to the fuck ups that if it's the wrong semantics then it shouldn't be documented. Ask what right semantics is... They do not support their own correct semantics...
Fuck you! Just say you fucked up and come to me with a new contract!
Two weeks pass, new contract breaks half the functionality... And they ask me: "is it a problem? Can't you use it as is?"
Now listen here you pile of elephant dung, you have an unresponsive system with an unscalabe architecture... You have twisted contracts and you come to me to fix them!? I have more to do then to babysit your assess!
I am so tired of your bulshit... You are a bunch of prairie dogs hitting keyboards and call yourself developers!? My dog is a better developer, he at least does not break he's own software and when he takes a massive dump he owns it...
I am this close to making a request of changing your work computers to an abacus! It's all you can handle...
Fuck off! You are waste of resources and your parents should be spanked!!
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