client: i want to make an e-commerce site.
.
.
developer: how much are you willing to spend?
client: i'm on a tight budget, as cheap/low as possible.
.
.
web development on a budget y'all :------)

When a web developer visits a porn website...

Ever visit a site/web app that's so bad you want to build them a new one for free?

When you spend 10 hours developing
web site and you saw your browser zoom set on 150%.

Forbes has, by far, the shittiest and most user-unfriendly website I've ever gone to, in this gigantic clusterfuck we call the Internet. I honestly don't understand how they felt their site design is OK. Fuck their dev team manager.

Let's run down some of its worst offenses, shall we? FORCED ANTI-ADBLOCK, shitton of ads (some of which are extremely invasive and dangerous), autoplaying sidebar video WITH SOUND ON, that fucking social sidebar & collapsed navigation, and their mind-bogglingly irrelevant, frustratingly obnoxious, & totally pointless Quote of the Day, which itself has ads and A FORCED COUNTDOWN to go to the fucking article you went there to read to begin with.

The articles themselves on Forbes are solid, so why do they have to ruin it with this shit? I will never go to a Forbes link again. No article is worth facing their torture chamber.

TLDR: Fuck you Forbes, your site is absolutely the shittiest on the entire web (which is quite a feat).

So a user reported they couldn't login to our site, so I reset their password to:

uI+ffRT7M2NAzo8uOqzf4QxO3I9tj8PJ4TS0n8zDV7I

And sent them back an email with the updated password. A few minutes later, they replied and said that password didn't work. They even tried a different web browser, etc. I tried it myself, and sure enough, it didn't work.

I spent the next several hours trying to figure out why the password didn't save properly, or why the logic didn't compare them correctly. Perhaps it was some sort of caching issue? Oh the horror.

As it turns out, the problem was a maxlength of 28 on the login form field:

<input type="password" name="password" value="" maxlength="28"/>

I don't know who wrote that code, but it sure wasn't me.

"Ok, the site looks fine. Now let's move the style tag into it's own file."

*makes css file*

"WHY DOES IT HARDLY EVER LOAD!?!?, I checked the syntax trice"

*Spends 20 min. Asking friends for help, but none of them knows a reason*

"Time to ask the teacher, I guess"

*Teacher comes over, but has no clue either*

Teacher: "Give me the files, let's test it on my laptop"

*Css doesn't load there either*

*Teachers pair programming and trying some serious debugging technics. No progress*

*I decided to look at the sourcecode while refreshing the site*

1. Refresh: Css is loaded properly
2. Refresh: Css is gone, and source turned into various asian symbols.

Looks at the (default) file encoding: UCS-2
WTF NOTEPAD++, I SPEND 2 HOURS OF MY LIFE BECAUSE YOU DECIDED THIS WAS A PROPER ENCODING!

Web programming seems fun.

I do tech support for our platform for real estate agents. Today I got a call from a user saying she can't find her files.

Me: "are you logged into the platform?"

Her: "Yes, but I hate this whole technology thing. Why is it so complicated and unintuitive"

Me: "which part exactly, we welcome feedback"

Her: "when I download my pictures from your site, I don't see them on the desktop..."

Me: "...ummm... have you checked your 'downloads' folder?"

After 5 minutes of explaining how to get to it...

Her: "you see, this is exactly what I mean, why does it have to be so unintuitive... your web site is poorly designed"

😑🔫

Should I just delete her "FREE" account?

Biggest scaling challenge I've faced?

Around 2006~2007 the business was in double-digit growth thanks to the eCommerce boom and we were struggling to keep up with the demand.

Upper IT management being more hardware focused and always threw more hardware at the problem. At its worst, we had over 25 web servers (back then, those physical tall-rectangle boxes..no rack system yet) and corresponding SQL server for each (replicated from our main sql server)

Then business boomed again and projected the need for 40 servers (20 web servers, 20 sql servers) over the next 5 years. Hardware+software costs (they were going to have to tear down a wall in order to expand the server room) were going to be in the $$ millions.

Even though we were making money, the folks spending it didn't seem to care, but I knew this trajectory was not sustainable, so I started utilizing (this was 2007) WCF services and Microsoft's caching framework Velocity. Started out small, product lookup data (description, price, the simple stuff) and within a month, I was able to demonstrate the web site could scale with less than half of our current hardware infrastructure.

After many political battles (I've ranted about a few of those), the $$ won and even with the current load, we were able to scale back to 5 web servers and 2 sql servers. When the business increased in the double-digits again, and again...we were still the same hardware for almost 5 years. We only had to add another service server when the international side of the business started taking off.

Challenge wasn't the scaling issue, the challenge was dealing with individuals who resisted change.

Fuck the incompetent and "pretentious psuedo devs" !!

I have been developing a web portal for a student club for this really big company (as intern) and then they assign this fuckin group of these 4 stupid intern devs to work with me !

The fuckin tweked my code and redirected the CONTACT FORM to the fuckin LOGIN CONTROLLER !!

Then these sons of Einstein inserted dummy users without a username and password into the fuckin production site !!

Now each fukin time someone submits contact form is redirected into some random user account !!

Who the fuck needs Hackers when we have these legendary coders -_-

I... uhm... I... I can't... I ... I can't even.... THIS IS LIVE IN THE CLIENT'S SITE WHERE ANYONE CAN CREATE A LOGIN WITH NO VERIFICATION WHATSOEVER AND SEE THIS WHICH IS LINKED TO A BIG RED BUTTON THAT RESETS THE WHOLE DATABASE, YOU FUCKING DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

// This event clears the entire solution in all active clients, truncates the database and also removes any stored PDFs in the server folder
$(document).on('click', '#resetDB', function () {
// This event only happens if the user correctly enters the password, this is to prevent other users than the admin from performing this action
var answer = prompt("Please enter the password required to perform this action.");
if(answer == "-REDACTEDBECAUSEHOLYSHIT-") {
socket.emit('resetDB');
} else {
alert("The password is incorrect, please try again!");
}
});

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!111!!1!!11!1!!1!1one!one!!!11

(I'm not inventing this, even though the "site" is internal only and not accessible through the web. That does *not* make it any less stupid!)

One of my first jobs as a Web Designer / Developer.

Boss had me update a WordPress site that the previous dude built. It had some pages that only members were meant to access.

These were listed on a navbar at all times. If the user clicked on them, a JS alert would show up telling the visitor to log in first.

That was the ONLY protection those pages had. No matter it was a WordPress-powered site, to begin. If you knew the URL or simply altered the code right there on the browser to remove the onclick-bound JS, you could get in.

And that was just the beginning of it. Eventually I convinced the boss to rebuild the site.

New client wanted us to redo their site and boost their SEO because "nobody has ever used our contact form".

Looking at their current site, turns out their contact form is POSTed to an HTML page, that obviously does 0 processing on it. Like tossing it on the trash bin.

Their current website is done by a company that claim they're experts on web design for our clients sector.

Still haven't stopped laughing.

What kind of supercomputer you have to use to get these fucking websites to work smoothly????

I'm on a fucking gigabit connection, ryzen 7 7700x, 32GB ram, and a fucking nvme, all it takes is opening a fucking recipe site and I'm instantly transported back to the 80s. I swear if i see another 4k asset I'm gonna punch something.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO FUNCTION OVER FORM????

Oh do you want me to disable my addblocker??? How about: you make a site that works you fuck. No i will not fucking subscribe to your brain-dead newsletter why the fuck would I???
And since when are cookies needed for a fucking plaintext site you asshat??? Tracking??? I swear if you could you would generate metadata from my clipped fingernails if it meant you could stick "Big data" next to that zip-bomb you call a website.

I WOULD like to read your article, possibly even watch a couple of ads on my sidebar for you, but noooooo you had to have the stupid fucking google vinegrette or however the fuck they are calling the fucking thing now.

The age of the web sucks the happiness out of life, and despite having all of this processing power, I am jealous of my fathers RSS feeds.

I'm sorry web people, I know it's not your fault, I know designers and management don't give a shit how long a website takes to load. I just wanted to make a fucking omelette.

Made a web app at work.

Client reported the site crashed​ IE10 when it loaded.

I'm not even sad about it XD

Straight from a marketing analyst (we didn't have a PM) I once had the displeasure of working with:

"Can you write a JavaScript that will scan a user's hard drive for credit card numbers and autofill the checkout form on our client's web site? I think it will increase their conversion rate."

The guy didn't believe me when I told him it was impossible (barring exploits that would break the browser's sandbox), unethical, and probably illegal. I had to escalate all the way to the CEO to get him to drop it.

Our project manager who also happens to be our web designer... (Start Up)

Project Manager: We have a go signal. Go convert this design to html and css. And make it responsive.

Me: Can you forward me the mail so I can check if it's actually approved?

Project Manager: Just do it.

Me: (After tweaking) There. It's done.

Project Manager: They want to change all the layout of the site. We're gonna do it from scratch. They didn't like the design.

Me: What? I thought your design was approved?

Project Manager: I thought so too. But i'm your PM so get back to work.

There was no mail from the client.

Q: Your data migration service from old site to new site cost money.
A: Yes, I have to copy data from old database and import to the new one.

Q: Can I just provide you content separately so you don’t need to do that?
A: Yes, but I will have to charge you for copying and pasting your 100 pages of content manually.

Q: Can it come with part of the web development service and not as an additional service?
A: Yes, but the price for web development service will have to be increased to combine the two. If you don’t want to pay for it, I can just set up a few sample pages with the layout and you can handle your own content entry. Does that work for you?

Q: Well, but then I will have to spend extra time to work on it.
A: Yes you will. (At this point I think she starts to understand the concept of Time = Money...)

When people call themselves a "professional web developer," but all they do is set up a Wordpress site with a custom skin. Alright then! 🙄

Me: So what you are doing in the IT field?
Him: I am hacking bank websites.
Me: OK, that's cool. It is good in free time. What is your actual job?
Him: I am seriously hacking the bank Web site!
Me: Trust me, if you seriously doing that you will never ever mentioned it...
Him: No, I am doing it legally... The bank hiring me to try to hack the website...
Me: OK, you mean that you are cyber security tester?
Him: That is almost the same...
Me: So you are tester?
Him: I am hacking bank's websites...
Me:....

Some dude in my university used Squarespace to make a webstore, presented it as his final exam in Web developement and passed with flying colors.
They didn't even look up the code or anything, just gave him max score and that's it. I hate my school...

Edit: a friend just told me that the guy didn't even made the site. He paid someone else to do it.
I honestly don't know what makes me more sad

Hello again devRanters! This is linuxxx again. A quick update regarding the privacy site!

Right now we're up to the following:

Ewpratten
- Converting what we have right now on frontend to Bootstrap.
- Working on a page with a description as to what this is going to be exactly.

linuxxx (me)
- Converted the static stuff we used before to a simple MVC based PHP web application.
- Created a DB scheme for the custom CMS I am going to write for this.
- Starting to work on the custom CMS right now!

We'll update as soon as we've got a well working description/introduction page :)

We won't be creating rants every day/new tiny feature/change or anything but as this is our first productive night, it seemed like a nice idea to update what we already got done/started on :).

Stay tuned!

Decide to open torrent web site from your smartphone.

*popup: your phone is hacked, click here to scan
*popup: you are the 1000th visitor, you win a gift
*popup: see hot pictures
*popup: Hello [somebrand] phone user, click here for tips.

Shit, why I came here in the first place??

So there's a recent rant, about making a website work for IE.

I get it, you don't want to make it work for IE because you don't use IE.

But get this: you're not doing the site FOR YOU. You're doing it for the intended user, which is a lot of users that use all kinds of shit. If you don't want to do that, get the fuck out of web development, or from development overall. It's not for you.

I remember when I started my career, I had to make a web app that was intended to be used by, say, 100 people. As a developer I had the best tools for that - cool new 19" monitors, good GPU able to spit out a humongous resolution, and I designed that portal to look great. You know what my superior did then? He took away my 19" monitor and gave me a 14" monitor instead, saying that I became a spoiled brat that totally ignored the customer. I was angry at that, but immediately realized that he was completely right.

It doesn't matter! that it works on your machine. Who the fuck cares about your machine?

Does the software work for the intended user? If not, then you're a shitty developer.

First Post!

I am a student who is just starting out in cs and web design. I don't really like web design that much and don't see a future for myself but I run a small website for fun.

Whenever and I mean ｗｈｅｎｅｖｅｒ I show my roommate or friends a side project hosted on the site I get a 8 minute long speech about how an aspect of my design is flawed, how my color scheme is trash, and how I should do X thing instead. Whenever I argue and say that I like my design I'm met with "I'm the end user and the user is always right"

All web developers should support up to IE9 without any problems.

Why? Because in Korea, it is normal.

Every person uses that damn Win7, which has either IE9 or IE10. Without IE support, no one will browse your webpage.

Now you would ask us, why don't you use other modern browsers?

We would then ask you, why would you install a new browser that is
1. Buggy
2. Heavy
3. Takes up ram
4. Has so many features
when you have an awesome minimalistic browser that is preinstalled, and works in all Windows? No thanks.

So, if you put a message saying you will soon drop support of IE, it means that you won't target Korea. Just after the support drop, there won't be traffic to your web site.

So what is the point of this rant?
1. We love IE. Lol
2. IE is lightweight, minimalistic, and the fastest browser in the world.
3. All websites should NOT drop support for IE.
4. We don't care whether web devs will have a hard time. We just think websites are built with Wix and Wordpress, and they work in IE, meaning, IE support is the number one priority.
5. If you ever start a business in Korea, and has a website, make sure to hire an senior Korean web dev who has worked with IE for a long time.
6. Here is the tl;dr
Hate us. Period.

Yesterday the web site started logging an exception “A task was canceled” when making a http call using the .Net HTTPClient class (site calling a REST service).

Emails back n’ forth ..blaming the database…blaming the network..then a senior web developer blamed the logging (the system I’m responsible for).

Under the hood, the logger is sending the exception data to another REST service (which sends emails, generates reports etc.) which I had to quickly re-direct the discussion because if we’re seeing the exception email, the logging didn’t cause the exception, it’s just reporting it. Felt a little sad having to explain it to other IT professionals, but everyone seemed to agree and focused on the server resources.

Last night I get a call about the exceptions occurring again in much larger numbers (from 100 to over 5,000 within a few minutes). I log in, add myself to the large skype group chat going on just to catch the same senior web developer say …
“Here is the APM data that shows logging is causing the http tasks to get canceled.”

FRACK!

Me: “No, that data just shows the logging http traffic of the exception. The exception is occurring before any logging is executed. The task is either being canceled due to a network time out or IIS is running out of threads. The web site is failing to execute the http call to the REST service.”

Several other devs, DBAs, and network admins agree.

The errors only lasted a couple of minutes (exactly 2 minutes, which seemed odd), so everyone agrees to dig into the data further in the morning.

This morning I login to my computer to discover the error(s) occurred again at 6:20AM and an email from the senior web developer saying we (my mgr, her mgr, network admins, DBAs, etc) need to discuss changes to the logging system to prevent this problem from negatively affecting the customer experience...blah blah blah.

FRACKing female dog!

Good news is we never had the meeting. When the senior web dev manager came in, he cancelled the meeting.

Turned out to be a hiccup in a domain controller causing the servers to lose their connection to each other for 2 minutes (1-minute timeout, 1 minute to fully re-sync). The exact two-minute burst of errors explained (and proven via wireshark).

People and their petty office politics piss me off.

We want a web site.

We're going to want lots of interactive content, which we'll define later.

You need to develop the whole thing in 2 weeks.

We'll give you all the details after you tell us exactly how much it will cost.

My favorite client just brought in a new team member who thinks he's god's gift to web development and design. Every week he gives me a long list of things he thinks are wrong with the website.

Now he's cloning pages of the site and adding hideously distorted images and excel screenshots of information matrices formatted the way he wants them. And he wants them published as he has made them because his ideas are obviously the best ones! (guess who he voted for)

He also claims that nobody can figure out how to purchase anything on the site, including him! Even after I've made it so you'd have to be frickin' Helen Keller not to be able to stumble over a BIG FAT BUY NOW BUTTON literally everywhere you look because this site is for geriatric senile MORONS who can't click their way out of a paper bag!!!

That time I had to explain the manager (who decided and committed the deadlines) what a URL was and why we need to use a server for staging the web site.

So ehm, tl;dr: KEEP DAILY BACKUPS. EVEN IF SOMEONE SAYS NOT TO.

7:48
Manager: Hey Tom, is the server down?
Me: Nah, should be ok, I just did some maintenance this sunday.
Manager: But I can't get [some work data from SQL server]
*Nervous giggle*

9:14: Some random off-site cunt they hired didn't read the notes that said "DO NOT REMOVE DATABASE [xyz]"
9:20-ish: Web don't even have the DB. And you said that we'll figure out what to do with backups later
*Suddenly manager starts to panic*
11:47: Found backup of the entire server on and old server that we had for spare parts, still running tho.
12:something: Everything back up and working.

Really glad I kept the old server running and doing daily backups. Saved our ass for the second time. And finally, new off-site backup is planned this week.

Okay so even at my advance 52 years of age, I still pull all nighters to handle emergency remediation projects, and clean up other peoples messes. I don't mind, I'm a geek, I get high on the challenge of fixing shit that is broken all to hell.

But tonight was different. Tonight has me raging.

I am tasked with renovating a website, and building a sister site to that main site as well. no bother, I haven't done any web dev in 15 years but I'll power through pulling 18 to 20 hours a day for a couple of weeks to get in the groove...

Little did I know... CSS is a pain in the ass to be sure, but FLEXBOX is total and complete bullshit.

I don't give to shits about all the fancy shit it can do, it can't do simple shit worth a damn. Fuck Flexbox, and anyone involved in producing that useless layout model.

The sheer number of idiots promoting that hunk of shit a solution that is to be applied to any task other than wiping my ass is astounding.

Fuck all you jerk offs out there posting your shitty mark up turds as if they are gold, when you know better than anyone it works, sometimes, then doesn't, and is so easy to break it may as well be called "Web Design Jenga".

I'm still tired as hell, and tomorrow I will go back to slogging through CSS as the layout method, but at least I feel a little better now.

Oh and before I forget FUCK YOU FLEXBOX you piece of shit.

today morning my boss talking to the designer.

Boss: hey, when we can see the design finished for the web site asked by the client X?

Designer: hmm, about a day and a half, there are many pages and details.

Boss: heheheh, it's impossible, we need it today at the end of the day.

Me insid: wth, then why you ask him about the time like he have a choice..

the worse type of clients are the ones who want a web site ready to deploy with all content present, but can't fucking provide their content
I'm talking about an eshop for a big company in the region who can't fucking provide us the products they intend to showcase and considered the work on their page incomplete because it lacks content

Got my first legit side-gig as a developer (like had to write an SOW and everything): my kids' pediatrician is amazing, but shes switching to a concierge practice, meaning she wont take any insurance, and shes going from about 1500 patients down to about 200. I already pay my mortgage-worth in insurance on a monthly basis, so we were prepared to say adios to her. At my daughter's last appointment, she pulled me aside and said "what can we do to keep you guys as patients?" and i somewhat jokingly suggested "I dunno, need any websites written?"

As a matter of fact, she did: she just fired her practice's web developer, who gave her a shitty wordpress site and fought like hell to avoid any further maintenance or updates for her. She hates the site's current layout (no surprise there) so she is basically giving me full control over a rewrite.

No user logins, no worries about compliance with PII or any of that. Literally just turning a brochure wordpress site into an angular app, hosting it on her own server and eventually building an admin page where she can change the banner text and upload new images.

And my kids will get free, top-notch health care.

elementor.com, wix.com, fuck this shit. These guys want our death. Nowday customers think "building web site is just drag and drop."

Hired and Paid as a web developer.

But sitting here adding products to a woocommerce site.

Hello! A tiny update on the privacy site thingy. (linuxxx here yas).

I've finished the preview page (description of what will be on the site really) and slowly preparing for deployment.
In the mean time, since @ewpratten is very busy at the moment, I'm giving the frontend part a shot myself! Working on the general layout/presentation right now and I will show a preview as soon as I have anything solid enough to show :).

Also working on the custom CMS which is going well!

I am kind of hestitant to publish the preview page because I am not a frontender and I know that I'll get all criticism on here so please, please go easy on me! Also, just in general, if you find any kind of flaws in the web app or wherever, please report them to me! As for frontend, I won't fix anything because I've got bigger priorities (like creating the actual site itself xD) but general feedback would be appreciated :). And as I said, I'm a backender so don't judge me too hard on the frontend!

Alright now let's gather some courage to actually publish this thing 😅

Worked as a web developer on a really small agency and we always said to customers that were not designers so they need to provide us with a mockup if they want it fancy.

One customer wanted us to design a campaign site for an event and we asked for a design mockup.
"Sure, I'll send it right over!"
About 2 hours later a bike messenger knocked on our door and gave us a coaster from the merchandise.

When I realized that web developers who learn frameworks and are skilled in both frontend and beckend development can be replaced by a 200 USD Wordpress site.

Yea #deletefacebook is fine and all but what about putting fucking Like-Buttons all over the goddamn web. Care about that, would ya?!? You're not any bit better than zuckerfuck if you are doing this on your site!

Worst part of being a developer?

Everyone thinks you want to freelance a website for them...

Even when you're not a web developer

What do you do?

I write software.

Oh so you're good with computers and stuff?

Yeah

That's p sweet, can you build me a site?

No. 😃

Fuck web dev.
I dabbled in many areas but I do web dev most often. And seriously: fuck web dev. Your site has to work on multiple browsers. Multiple screen resolutions. The code has to be tiny for load time. The images have to work for every resolution and still be small. The styling can look different in different browsers. So many useful javascript features are only supported by modern browsers. An on top of that: IE.
I’ve gotten quite good at all of this, but still: it’s such a fucking pain.

Those SEO guys that believe they are some kind of web Gods for building a real crap over WP with a $50 theme and fucking Visual Composer (the most fucked up piece of shit ever) and then ask you to just "optimize" their bloated site so they can get a great score on PageSpeed Insights.

NO.

No way I'm gonna put my hands on that *thing*.

CompanyYouNeverHeardOf sends you IrrelevantNewsletter512... so you hunt for the unsubscribe link, which you find buried in the boilerplate crap at the bottom of the mail, rendered in #eee on a #fff background, in 4-point type, and click that. End up on a web site that asks you like 8 times if you're sure you want to leave and please, reconsider, we're nice folk really, blah blah blah. And then you get *another* email from them saying they received your unsubscribe request, and *then* yet another to confirm that yes, you unsubscribed, and please feel free to re-sub anytime (as if!)

GOD I HATE MARKETEERS!!!1one

Landing Page takes a minute to load...

Web Dev: Maybe I should another npm package to show a loading animation while the site loads... maybe even a small game...

I work at a school and am involved in building the new website. Specifically as an ex Web developer myself I am acting as intermediary between the leadership team and the company we have hired to build the site. The company has a "the customer is always right" approach and will do what they are asked for so my main role is stopping the school from making stupid requests.

For example yesterday they complained that the site looked different on mobile compared to desktop. Then they complained that the (long paragraph) welcome message appeared below the menu and quick links on mobile instead of above them (forcing users to scroll down to get to navigation controls). After many more complaints and mind boggling suggestions, and my attempts to explain responsive design and reducing cognitive load, I left the meeting with a headache and an urge to spend the next three hours drowning Lara Croft.

The most difficult part of any developers role: not throwing the keyboard at the client every time they say something stupid.

To new web devs from a new web dev:
Try to design your site before you write a single line of code. Be it Photoshop, Paint, a piece of paper, a literal goddamn canvas, you name it. You may thank yourself for it later.

Worked with a European consulting company to integrate some shared business data (aka. calling a service).
VP of IT called an emergency meeting (IT managers, network admins) deeply concerned about the performance of the international web site since adding our services.
VP: “The partner’s site is much slower than ours. Only common piece that could cause that is your service.”
Me: “Um, their site is vastly different than ours. I don’t think we can compare their performance to ours.”
VP: “Performance is #1! I need your service fixed ASAP!”
Me: “OK, but what exactly is slow? How did you measure their site? The servers are in Germany”
VP: “I measured performance from my house last night.”
Me: “Did you use an application?”
VP: “<laughs> oh no, I was at home. When I opened the page, I counted one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, then the page displayed.”
Me: “Wow…um…OK…uh…how long does our page take to load?”
VP: “Two Mississippi’s”
Me: “Um…wow…OK…wow…uh, no, we don’t measure performance like that, but I’ll work with our partners and develop a performance benchmark to determine if the shared service is behaving differently.”
VP: “Whatever it is, the service is slow. Bill, what do you think is slowing down the service?”
NetworkAdmin-Bill: “The Atlantic Ocean?”
VP got up and left the meeting.

“sEniOr tEcHniCiaN”: “I don’t know what Blazor is. I write my projects in ASP.NET. You should just use ASP.NET”

Me: …”Blazor *is* ASP. This project is running on ASP.NET 6.”

“seNioR tEchNiCiaN”: “As previously stated, I don’t use Blazor. I don’t care what version it is.”

Yes, this is a real exchange from my ongoing problems with this idiot.
His attitude is what ticks me off the most.
He doesn’t know what CORS is.
He doesn’t understand that “ASP.NET” covers Blazor, Razor Pages, the old MVC stuff, web APIs, and more.
He doesn’t understand the difference between a web request being initiated from the browser via Fetch and a web request being initiated from the server. (“My ASP site is shown in the browser, so requests to the third party API aren’t originating from the server.”)

And yet has the arrogance to repeatedly talk down to me while I try to explain basic concepts to him in the least condescending way possible.

After going around and around in circles with him, he finally admitted to me that “he doesn’t actually know what the CORS configuration looks like or how to modify it, to be honest.”

I just wanna go home.

What do you guys tell your friends when they ask what you're doing on the computer? My wife asks all the time and I usually give a generic answer like "writing code" but lately that's not good enough. Today I had browser dev tools open along with vim because I was building a web scraper in python and I needed the structure of a certain site. I tried actually explaining it but got nowhere so I ended saying I was just downloading content from a site. Do you just give generic answers to people or try to get more technical? She seems unhappy with both approaches but maybe I'm just bad at explaining.

For two weeks I am paid 50$ an hour 6 hours a day / 5 days per week as someone called "Web deployment supervisor". The work is based on checking if the website throws an error and fixing it (devops) and staying in touc with the customer and helping him. The wevsite i wrote is just a small PHP site, well tested, almost no user input, if you dont drop whole DB it cannot basically crash. So for past week I am just copypasting documentation for the client what/how to do things. Today I already sent him same info 4 times. For me as a student and a freelance web dev it's a gold mine. I am having vacations for 14 days (thanks to damaged school water supply), getting paid 50$/hour for playing PUBG and using Ctrl+F in my Firefox, but god hell, it's so fucking psychically hard. Sometimes I have an urge to scream on that retard "I'VE SENT YOU THAT SAME SHIT 4 MINUTES AGO RETARD USE YOUR FUCKING SCROLL WHEEL IN OUR CHAT FOR FUCK SAKE".

What's the shittiest IT company you seen ?

I'll tell one i know - it had the shittiest web site I've ever seen, they built Android app that "enables users to pray to God" , a basic shitty app with pictures of Hindu gods and a button labelled "Perform e-pooja" Also the app description said "Share the app with friends and family" to receive free Gods blessing.

Really dude?! How low can you go?...have some basic ethics!

P.S: This company came to our institution with job offers and my teacher asked why i didn't attend their interview.

No thanks, I'd rather start as freelancer and work on building my own company than wasting my life in such retarded company.

So my host of choice decided to migrate an old site to a new set of IPs without warning yesterday, down side to a VPS I guess.

Now this wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t on a dedicated IP you wankers.

DNS won’t resolve to new location yet and Virtual hosts contained the old IPs and for some fuck of a reason the httpd file is auto generated 😡so updating it will be lost on reboot.

Like What the flying fuck you imbeciles, this site has been up and running for 5+ years on this IP.
I barely do any maintenance for t as it’s just an old horse sitting on the web but fuck you don’t need to fuck with it or atleast give some fucking warning before you go drop it offline 😡

Why does anybody need me on-site? Seriously, do they even understand how any of this works? If only there was a magical web like network that would connect all our computers.

I'm a "published" freelance dev!

Last night I made my first web application available to the internet. It's an internal enterprise management system for a small non-profit.

It's running on a single $6 a month digitalocean droplet, and the domain is $12 a year, so yearly cost for them is absolutely rock bottom.

It's written in asp.net 6.0 razor pages, nginx reverse proxy, certbot for HTTPS certificates, fail2ban for ssh protection (ssh login is via ssl keys), entity framework with MySQL.

The site itself has automatic IP banning based on a few parameters like login spam, uses JWT tokens, and is fully secured.

All together, it's a lot of value for about $100 a year.

So I manage multiple VPS's (including multiple on a dedicated server) and I setup a few proxy servers last week. Ordered another one yesterday to run as VPN server and I thought like 'hey, let's disable password based login for security!'. So I disabled that but the key login didn't seem to work completely yet. I did see a 'console' icon/title in the control panel at the host's site and I've seen/used those before so I thought that as the other ones I've used before all provided a web based console, I'd be fine! So le me disabled password based login and indeed, the key based login did not work yet. No panic, let's go to the web interface and click the console button!
*clicks console button*
*New windows launches.....*

I thought I would get a console window.

Nope.

The window contained temporary login details for my VPS... guess what... YES, FUCKING PASSWORD BASED. AND WHO JUST DISABLED THE FUCKING PASSWORD BASED LOGIN!?!

WHO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO IMPLEMENT THIS MOTHERFUCKING GOD?!?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Oracle really need to hire a new front-end web developer. Their site is not very beautiful, especially their JavaFX documentation sites.

SeniorDev: “OMFG..MalwareBytes is taking up almost 50% of my CPU!”
Me: “Didn’t you have a virus on your machine couple of days ago?”
SeniorDev: “Uh..yea..but it was cleaned up.”
Me: “Your OS might have been compromised. If your antivirus is still busy doing something, then it may be time to start over with a fresh re-install.”
SeniorDev: “No, that’s not it. This is just BS our Network admins don’t want to fix because I’m not a VP”
Me: “I’m pretty sure they don’t care.”
-in as much of a ‘I’m kidding’ tone as I could -
Me: “They would care more if you stopped going to inappropriate web sites on the company computer.”
SeniorDev: “I never go to those sites. It was a link to a charity web site my wife sent me. You know how those sites are. They are built by college kids, so they have no security and was hijacked. That’s how I got the virus.”
Me: “You actually said that to Jim and he believed it?”
SeniorDev: “Well ...yea because….oh …–bleep- you.”
"Jim" sits about 50 feet away, popped his head over the cube wall and smiled. It was awesome.

Copy paste from the internet, usually stack overflow without knowing what the fuck the lines do.
I saw this girl who was tasked with building a spring mvc application and she literally googled(yeah googled) "spring mvc web app" and copied from the first tutorial site and pasted it.
When errors showed up she copied everything from the second link and pasted it ... Wait for it... Without deleting the old copy but commenting it out so each file had 100 lines of code and 100 lines of comment

When you build a fully responsive web app and the client IT dept goes and sticks it in an iframe on their Sitecore site 😱

Updated a website for an older client today. Realized I originally wrote their website in 2002.

That web site is a fucking non-responsive piece of shit... but it is still running normally after 18 years.

Just HTML/CSS and some light JS/PHP for form processing. It's not fancy but it still performs and works perfect on Desktop and OK on mobile. Mobile devices which DID NOT EXIST when I wrote it.

Let this be a lesson to the entire new class of developers who seems to think you need some framework to develop. You don't. And I GUARANTEE if that site used any framework that framework would have been retired or updated to un-useability 10 years ago.

Meanwhile my LAMP ass "web native" shit spaghetti with ZERO DEPENDENCIES is still just chugging the fuck along.

Best code performance incr. I made?

Many, many years ago our scaling strategy was to throw hardware at performance problems. Hardware consisted of dedicated web server and backing SQL server box, so each site instance had two servers (and data replication processes in place)

Two servers turned into 4, 4 to 8, 8 to around 16 (don't remember exactly what we ended up with). With Window's server and SQL Server licenses getting into the hundreds of thousands of dollars, the 'powers-that-be' were becoming very concerned with our IT budget. With our IT-VP and other web mgrs being hardware-centric, they simply shrugged and told the company that's just the way it is.

Taking it upon myself, started looking into utilizing web services, caching data (Microsoft's Velocity at the time), and a service that returned product data, the bottleneck for most of the performance issues. Description, price, simple stuff. Testing the scaling with our dev environment, single web server and single backing sql server, the service was able to handle 10x the traffic with much better performance.

Since the majority of the IT mgmt were hardware centric, they blew off the results saying my tests were contrived and my solution wouldn't work in 'the real world'. Not 100% wrong, I had no idea what would happen when real traffic would hit the site.

With our other hardware guys concerned the web hardware budget was tearing into everything else, they helped convince the 'powers-that-be' to give my idea a shot.

Fast forward a couple of months (lots of web code changes), early one morning we started slowly turning on the new framework (3 load balanced web service servers, 3 web servers, one sql server). 5 minutes...no issues, 10 minutes...no issues,an hour...everything is looking great. Then (A is a network admin)...
A: "Umm...guys...hardly any of the other web servers are being hit. The new servers are handling almost 100% of the traffic."
VP: "That can't be right. Something must be wrong with the load balancers. Rollback!"
A:"No, everything is fine. Load balancer is working and the performance spikes are coming from the old servers, not the new ones. Wow!, this is awesome!"
<Web manager 'Stacey'>
Stacey: "We probably still need to rollback. We'll need to do a full analysis to why the performance improved and apply it the current hardware setup."
A: "Page load times are now under 100 milliseconds from almost 3 seconds. Lets not rollback and see what happens."
Stacey:"I don't know, customers aren't used to such fast load times. They'll think something is wrong and go to a competitor. Rollback."
VP: "Agreed. We don't why this so fast. We'll need to replicate what is going on to the current architecture. Good try guys."
<later that day>
VP: "We've received hundreds of emails complementing us on the web site performance this morning and upset that the site suddenly slowed down again. CEO got wind of these emails and instructed us to move forward with the new framework."

After full implementation, we were able to scale back to only a few web servers and a single sql server, saving an initial $300,000 and a potential future savings of over $500,000. Budget analysis considering other factors, over the next 7 years, this would save the company over a million dollars.

At the semi-annual company wide meeting, our VP made a speech.

VP: "I'd like to thank everyone for this hard fought journey to get our web site up to industry standards for the benefit of our customers and stakeholders. Most of all, I'd like to thank Stacey for all her effort in designing and implementation of the scaling solution. Great job Stacy!"
<hands her a blank white envelope, hmmm...wonder what was in it?>

A few devs who sat in front of me turn around, network guys to the right, all look at me with puzzled looks with one mouth-ing "WTF?"

I work as the entire I.T. department of a small business which products are web based, so naturally, I do tech support in said website directly to our clients.

It is normal that the first time a new client access our site they run into questions, but usually they never call again since it is an easy website.

There was an unlucky client which ran into unknown problems and blamed the server.
I couldn't determine the exact cause, but my assumption was a network error for a few seconds which made the site unavailable and the user tried to navigate the site through the navbar and exited the process he was doing. It goes without saying but he was very angry.

I assured him there was nothing wrong with the site, and told him that it would not be charged for this reason. Finally i told him that if he had the same problem, to let me know instead of trying to fix it himself.

The next time he used the site I received a WhatsApp message saying:
- there is something clearly wrong with the site... It has been doing this for so long!
And attached was a 10 second video which showed that he filled a form and never pressed send (my forms have small animations and text which indicates when the form is being send and error messages when an error occurs, usually not visible because the data they send is small and the whole process is quite fast)

To which I answer
- It seems that the form has not been send that's why it looks that way
- So... What an I supposed to do?
- click send
It took a while but the client replied
- ok

To this day I wonder how much time did the client stared at the form cursing the server.

We're gonna make t-shirts connected with smart advertisements on it. I heard you are a programmer, I'll only need a web site and mobile app. If it work I may pay you. But you know it's seems quite easy I'm note sure you'll need money for that.

Developed web shop for weed dealer
once. Paid me in weed. His plan was to sell cosmetics through the site and move away from drug dealing altogether. Not sure if he actually did it, as I was too high to finish it..

Users of this Web site have been posting photographs of their desks, and I thought that I should join by submitting a photograph of one of my workspaces. This specific one resides in my bedroom.

Just finished my third year of my comp sci degree when a friend found me a position at a very small startup. I was asked to build a web crawler to take job postings off kijiji and craigslist and place them in our database for our clients to find. It didn't take long to build (even with limited experience). It was pretty shady. I didn't think i'd have to deal with the ethics of a task so soon in my new dev-life! Luckily it never made it to the live site. After that they got me to work on their android app (not so shady)

4 years later i still work for that company building apps. It's still a small team, and i love 'em 🤙

I've created a small smart home web app 2 or 3 years ago.
Features:
- Change DECT heating controller settings
- Philips Hue control
- Wunderlist integration
- Send a cooking recipe to the web app (from a large recipe site, with a greasymonkey script)

I've mounted an old Android tablet to a kitchen cupboard where the web app runs in kiosk mode in fullscreen (you can swipe between the different panels).

The web app is build with .NET Core Web-API, Vue.js and MariaDB. Everything runs on a Raspberry Pi.

Last year I've discovered openHAB with HABPanel...

I had this weird dream(emphasis on dream)

I was in a resort in bali waiting for my drinks and this cute girl comes over to my table.

Me : omg finally i can get a girlfriend
Me : hello beautiful
Her : hey i have this problem with my website *shows the messed up site with no divisions/containers * "can you fix this?"
Me : okay ;_;

PS : i started learning css, html and 2 other web technologies a week ago, and this is already happening to me, should i quit?

Hertz the car rental company wanted a new website. They hired accenture. Accenture did allegedly a poor job. The site did not come with responsiveness, not with web components and 2 years over deadline. Hertz sues Accenture for $38+ million.

Scope creep deluxe?

In my web dev languages class today I went to try the feature to test the site through VS. Literally every browser BUT Edge would load... Even a Microsoft product knows that Edge is shit.

It really irks me when I see 'web developers' and 'front-end developers' write CSS like a bunch of first-timers. Not considering hierarchy, specificity or even following a proper naming convention (who the fuck mixes camel case AND lowercase for class names?!) It's worse when you already have Sass or SCSS and they still write their style rules WITHOUT PROPER NESTING or keep using !important like it was a goddamn semicolon.

This is fucking basic shit for a web or front-end developer, and God help you if I ever conduct your technical interview and decide to ask you on a whim to write an Angular app WITHOUT USING BULLSHIT SYSTEMS LIKE CLARITY, ANGULAR MATERIAL OR BOOTSTRAP for your UI. But if you can explain to me the pros and cons between using CSS grid and flex, I'll be fucking impressed.

I wish these 'UI experts' I keep encountering would learn to build an optimal static site without a fucking framework or build manager before doing advanced shit, for the love of Jeebus.

!rant

Just had the best moment of my career today. Myself and two of my colleagues have been working on this system (firmware, hardware, web app etc) together and after months of hard work we finally saw it all in action.

My colleague turned on a device on the web site and it updated the db, turned on a light on his board and updated the devices state on the site (we use web sockets so it's real time).

I probably haven't did it justice here but it was flipping awesome!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, to @dfox, @trogus: Thanks for creating a social media Web site which is actually tolerable, possibly even good. To the other users of this Web site: Thanks for not fucking up this actually-tolerable social media Web site.
Keep up the good work.

On a different note, _Deus Ex_ is by far my favourite video game. However, OpenBSD, which is my favourite operating system, does not support playing _Deus Ex_; as such, I was forced to improvise.
I own a few servers which run Ubuntu Linux, which can run VirtualBox, which can run Microsoft Windows XP, which can play _Deus Ex_. As such, I relocated my copy of Windows XP and spun up a new virtual machine, installing the operating system and the video game. After some minor hiccups, _Deus Ex_ was played without any difficulties, aside from the lack of audio, which resulted from having used VNC to access the virtual machine.
This set-up is janky, for I access the game by connecting via VNC to an Ubuntu installation which runs a virtual installation of Microsoft Windows... which runs _Deus Ex_ in windowed mode; however, I find that using this janky set-up is preferable to not being able to play _Deus Ex_.

On an even _more_ different note, future rants may be written in the third person; possibly as a result of having written briefings and whatnot in the third person for nearly two (2) decades and disliking pronouns, I dislike writing in the first person. I shall still be the author of the rants which are posted to this account.

When client said 'I need simple site' you got to prepare for lots of hard work.

Worst thing you've seen another dev do? Here is another.

Early into our eCommerce venture, we experienced the normal growing pains.

Part of the learning process was realizing in web development, you should only access data resources on an as-needed basis.

One business object on it's creation would populate db lookups, initialize business rule engines (calling the db), etc.

Initially, this design was fine, no one noticed anything until business started to grow and started to cause problems in other systems (classic scaling problems)

VP wanted a review of the code and recommendations before throwing hardware at the problem (which they already started to do).

Over a month, I started making some aggressive changes by streamlining SQL, moving initialization, and refactoring like a mad man.

Over all page loads were not really affected, but the back-end resources were almost back to pre-eCommerce levels.

The main web developer at the time was not amused and fought my changes as much as she could.

Couple months later the CEO was speaking to everyone about his experience at a trade show when another CEO was complementing him on the changes to our web site.
The site was must faster, pages loaded without any glitches, checkout actually worked the first time, etc.
CEO wanted to thank everyone involved etc..and so on.

About a week later the VP handed out 'Thank You' certificates for the entire web team (only 4 at the time, I was on another team). I was noticeably excluded (not that I cared about a stupid piece of paper, but they also got a pizza lunch...I was much more pissed about that). My boss went to find out what was going on.

MyBoss: "Well, turned out 'Sally' did make all the web site performance improvements."
Me: "Where have you been the past 3 months? 'Sally' is the one who fought all my improvements. All my improvements are still in the production code."
MyBoss: "I'm just the messenger. What would you like me to do? I can buy you a pizza if you want. The team already reviewed the code and they are the ones who gave her the credit."
Me: "That's crap. My comments are all over that code base. I put my initials, date, what I did, why, and what was improved. I put the actual performance improvement numbers in the code!"
MyBoss: "Yea? Weird. That is what 'Tom' said why 'Sally' was put in for a promotion. For her due diligence for documenting the improvements."
Me:"What!? No. Look...lets look at the code"

Open up the file...there it was...*her* initials...the date, what changed, performance improvement numbers, etc.

WTF!

I opened version control and saw that she made one change, the day *after* the CEO thanked everyone and replaced my initials with hers.

She knew the other devs would only look at the current code to see who made the improvements (not bother to look at the code-differences)

MyBoss: "Wow...that's dirty. Best to move on and forget about it. Let them have their little party. Let us grown ups keeping doing the important things."

Static HTML pages are better than "web apps".

Static HTML pages are more lightweight and destroy "web apps" in performance, and also have superior compatibility. I see pretty much no benefit in a "web app" over a static HTML page. "Web apps" appear like an overhyped trend that is empty inside.

During my web browsing experience, static HTML pages have consistently loaded faster and more reliably, since the browser is immediately served with content useful for consumption, whereas on JavaScript-based web "apps", the useful content comes in **last**, after the browser has worked its way through a pile of script.

For example, an average-sized Wikipedia article (30 KB wikitext) appears on screen in roughly two seconds, since MediaWiki uses static HTML. Everipedia, in comparison, is a ReactJS app. Guess how long that one needs. Upwards of three times as long!

Making a page JavaScript-based also makes it fragile. If an exception occurs in the JavaScript, the user might end up with a blank page or an endless splash screen, whereas static HTML-based pages still show useful content.

The legacy (2014-2020) HTML-based Twitter.com loaded a user profile in under four seconds. The new react-based web app not only takes twice as long, but sometimes fails to load at all, showing the error "Oops something went wrong! But don't fret – it's not your fault." to be displayed. This could not happen on a static HTML page.

The new JavaScript-based "polymer" YouTube front end that is default since August 2017 also loads slower. While the earlier HTML-based one was already playing the video, the new one has just reached its oh-so-fancy skeleton screen.

It would once have been unthinkable to have a website that does not work at all without JavaScript, but now, pretty much all popular social media sites are JavaScript-dependent. The last time one could view Twitter without JavaScript and tweet from devices with non-sophisticated browsers like Nintendo 3DS was December 2020, when they got rid of the lightweight "M2" mobile website.

Sometimes, web developers break a site in older browser versions by using a JavaScript feature that they do not support, or using a dependency (like Plyr.js) that breaks the site. Static HTML is immune against this failure.

Static HTML pages also let users maximize speed and battery life by deactivating JavaScript. This obviously will disable more sophisticated site features, but the core part, the text, is ready for consumption.

Not to mention, single-page sites and fancy animations can be implemented with JavaScript on top of static HTML, as GitHub.com and the 2018 Reddit redesign do, and Twitter's 2014-2020 desktop front end did.

From the beginning, JavaScript was intended as a tool to complement, not to replace HTML and CSS. It appears to me that the sole "benefit" of having a "web app" is that it appears slightly more "modern" and distinguished from classic web sites due to use of splash screens and lack of the browser's loading animation when navigating, while having oh-so-fancy loading animations and skeleton screens inside the website. Sorry, I prefer seeing content quickly over the app-like appearance of fancy loading screens.

Arguably, another supposed benefit of "web apps" is that there is no blank page when navigating between pages, but in pretty much all major browsers of the last five years, the last page observably remains on screen until the next navigated page is rendered sufficiently for viewing. This is also known as "paint holding".

On any site, whenever I am greeted with content, I feel pleased. Whenever I am greeted with a loading animation, splash screen, or skeleton screen, be it ever so fancy (e.g. fading in an out, moving gradient waves), I think "do they really believe they make me like their site more due to their fancy loading screens?! I am not here for the loading screens!".

To make a page dependent on JavaScript and sacrifice lots of performance for a slight visual benefit does not seem worthed it.

Quote:

> "Yeah, but I'm building a webapp, not a website" - I hear this a lot and it isn't an excuse. I challenge you to define the difference between a webapp and a website that isn't just a vague list of best practices that "apps" are for some reason allowed to disregard. Jeremy Keith makes this point brilliantly.
>
> For example, is Wikipedia an app? What about when I edit an article? What about when I search for an article?
>
> Whether you label your web page as a "site", "app", "microsite", whatever, it doesn't make it exempt from accessibility, performance, browser support and so on.
>
> If you need to excuse yourself from progressive enhancement, you need a better excuse.

– Jake Archibald, 2013

related rant
if you do the conception of a web site in Photoshop/illustrator
and don't provide the text in a copypastable format FUCK YOU
if you use print ready images that are extra huge for web, and are of arbitrary sizes, and then placing them behind a mask FUCK YOU
also your fucking banners are square shaped , and the slider is wider than your mom,
.... man fuck this

Had an internet/network outage and the web site started logging thousands of errors and I see they purposely created a custom exception class just to avoid/get around our standard logging+data gathering (on SqlExceptions, we gather+log all the necessary details to Splunk so our DBAs can troubleshoot the problem).

If we didn't already know what the problem was, WTF would anyone do with 'There was a SQL exception, Query'? OK, what was the exception? A timeout? A syntax error? Value out of range? What was the target server? Which database? Our web developers live in a different world. I don't understand em.

*Working on custom magento build*

Project manager:you are taking to long on this project. I know how long it should take to build a web site, I built a way more complicated site than this in just a few hours!

Me: what site did you build?

PM: *sends link to wife's photography site* wife.squarespace.com

Me: ...that's not the same thing at all

Today somebody claimed they have the "copyright" of responsive websites.

First of all, I'm here for almost a year now, but this is my first rant. Hello guys!
(linuxxx, call me)

This didn't happen to me.

So, it begins like this:
Some client called us and said "[INSERT_COMPANY_NAME] called us and said they have the copyright of all responsive websites, asking money."

I hanged up, laughed hard and visited [INSERT_COMPANY_NAME] website and saw this:

- Each website that uses the solution must report the domain name in order to register it.
- If a company undertakes web site design, it is the company responsibility to inform and record.
- Any unauthorized website will be considered unauthorized and a violation case will be opened.
...

Pricing (Currency Converted to Dollars)
1 Website ~$260
2 - 10 Website ~$1300
...

Well, eventually I reported this to government. I unmasked this fraud.
OR DID I?

Their site is saying this now: "We do not serve this to anyone except government now, you are making nonsense and we do not want nonsense."

So I posted it on a forum, asking what can we do.

We are suing this company now. Yeah, I said "we".

PS: If we cannot win this, I'll get the copyright of subdomains.

That moment when your mobile internet is so slow and you decide to ssh into your server and use elinks to browse the web and everybody around you is like "he's hacking" and I'm like IM JUST TRYING TO READ FUCKING NEWS BECAUSE GUESS WHO DOESNT PAY SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY FOR 1GB PER MONTH WHERE 500MB ARE USED AFTER VISITING ONE FUCKING SITE BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY DAMN ADS ON IT. I JUST WANT TO READ NEWS OR LEARN SOME C++++++++++ BUT INTERNET IS TOO SLOW TO OPEN FUCKING DDG.

Browsing the web in terminal is super nice btw. Really recommend that

Providing a web site to pay electricity and other services, but guess what? THE CONNECTION IS NOT SeCuRe !! (What can possibly can go wRoNg).
This retarded country have a lot of skilled people, but the dinosaurs who in charge are literally afraid of new technology.
Wake up bitches, it's almost 2020

Fired my front end developer as they were taking months to develop a simple web site.
I did it in 30 minutes

#include <rant>
Using angry standard;

Int main()
{
cout << "So my mom recently started "exploring the web". I'm sure you already know where this is going; she ended up signing up for a free trail of some diet pills with her credit card on some sketchy website. The website never sent any product but attempted to charge her card over $300 multiple times. My mom's bank noticed and froze the account. She has now opened an investigation with the banks fraud department and is awaiting response. I took the liberty of running a whois look up and found the companies website is held by GoDaddy and is hiding behind Domains by Proxy (GoDaddy's sysadmin hider). I'm angry that she's in this situation but I have no idea of how to uncover the real company behind the diet pills site." << endl;

Return 0;
}

Senior developer just showed me a "competitor" that seems to do things waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than us on his web site and was telling me:

Senior: damn, I wish I could figure out how they do this. I've been trying for so long...

I write the URL on chrome with dev tools open and literally the first thing that comes on the console is a nice greeting from their devs with links to they github repositories, ends up they are open source...

And now I'm here thinking "WTF!!!! WHY ARE WE NOT DOING THINGS THIS WAY?"

So one of my clients got their wordpress site hacked and basically just redirects to scam links and well.. I looked at in the server file manager and their are like three directories with this wordpress site (not clones but the same?) one in the root, a version in a folder called old and another in temp.. with 3 separate wp databases.. DNS entries had malware redirects, the wp-content folder was writable to the public and contained a temp folder with tons of encoded malware and ip links to malicious sites.. there was encoded malware in index.php, has like 20+ plugins, oh and the theme uses a dynamic web builder so the code is basically unreadable in source and scattered.. and the redirects seem to happen randomly or at least on a new session or something. Oh.. and did I mention there are no backups? 😃

To all web devs adding cookie-nags on your companys pages: stop that! Now! No where does that cookie law require you to ruin your site with nagging popups. Where's the focus on usability?

And the rule about informed consent? Which normal user (like my mother) knows what that means anyway? I call bs! Politicians, don't get me started.

Every user on the internet goes JMIGA: Just Make It Go Away, click whatever making that crap disappear.

What user will go "holy shit, they're using cookies!! I'm outta here!" No one in the history of the internet, that's who. Argh.

"my web site doesn't look well in safari"

Why even is Microsoft Teams?

Why does it suck so bad? Why is it a memory hog? Why does the ELECTRON desktop app not have native ARM64 support neither on Windows nor macOS? Why is it even an Electron app? Why the web version does not work with Safari (then again, barely anything more complex than my portfolio site works on Safari)? Why is the UI from 2016? Why is it preinstalled with Windows 11? Why the pre-installed Windows 11 version is a completely different entity? Why the preinstalled Windows 11 version does not work with school/work version of Teams calls?

Am I the only native developer on this site? Seems like everybody else is a web dev.

I get an email about an hour before I get into work: Our website is 502'ing and our company email addresses are all spammed! I login to the server, test if static files (served separately from site) works (they do). This means that my upstream proxy'd PHP-FPM process was fucked. I killed the daemon, checked the web root for sanity, and ran it again. Then, I set up rate limiting. Who knew such a site would get hit?

Some fucking script kiddie set up a proxy, ran Scrapy behind it, and crawled our site for DDoS-able URLs - even out of forms. I say script kiddie because no real hacker would hit this site (it's minor tourism in New Jersey), and the crawler was too advanced for joe shmoe to write. You're no match for well-tuned rate-limiting, asshole!

I don't like web design, but i'm also annoyed the people I want to have do my tattoos don't have anything on their site (just says under construction)...

Would you design a website for free tattoos (if you like tattoos), or is it still more trouble than it's worth?

A few Challenges at my job:
- a CEO with zero tech skills and zero memory.
- a sysadmin with literal brain damage and epilepsy (but he's great, we just have had to learn how to deal with it)
- another (volunteer) sysadmin who we call @God on Slack and who usually only shows up in extreme crises.
- the budget of a tiny organization, the web traffic of a huge site.
- incoherent business logic subject to the whims of volunteers and the loudest users
- a main revenue stream that contradicts our main mission.

it's fun! woot.

suddenly remember have to pay rent. but it's holiday.
is there any job hunt site that pays $200 for 2 days web dev work? 😂

While scraping web sources to build datasets, has legality been ever a concern?

Is it a standard practice for checking whether a site prohibits scraping?

If you are a web developer, consider using proper page titles.

Page titles are one of the most basic elements of a web page and yet websites often fail to make proper use of them.

Without a proper page title, your user does not have an accurate idea of what page is in the tab without having to open the tab, which gets tedious if many tabs are open. With a proper page title, an instant glance on the tab does suffice.

Some sites only put in their site name or something like "Search - Site Name" without including the search query in the page title, or "User profile - Site Name".

An example of this is, disappointingly, archive.org. As thankful as I am for the Archive, they could make better use of page titles to make browsing their library more convenient. While they use proper page titles on item pages (including both title and author!), they use non-descriptive titles on their 2023 search feature (downgraded from lightweight static HTML+AJAX to a JavaScript app) and user profile pages.

The user name of a profile or a search query and ideally a page number should be in the page title so a browser tab with a search can be found faster and can also be seen on social media sites that auto-generate preview cards with page titles.

Descriptive page titles also improve your search engine ranking! You surely don't want to miss out on that, do you?

I hate people that freelance and say they will build someone a website for like $500+ and all they did was grab a free, pirated or purchased for $20 on themeforest theme and throw it up on a wordpress site. its criminal how much they rip people off and insulting they call themselves web developers. tempting to hack their WordPress but I would feel even worse for their customers.

CSS gradients are so ugly 🤮
I makes the website look like from 2003...
(When used incorrectly)

Why are people doing this?
Poor websites...

When I see sth like this I have the urge to write the creator an email and ask for improving the site...
Do other Web Designers have similar problems? Help...

How the hell are you going to have a WebDev degree and not know what SSL is in 2022.

I also shouldn't be the one to notice your CPanel has a ton of unnecessary extra files and folders, and when you go to a subdomain corresponding to some random folders we find a "hacked by some dude" message. : |

I get your mom paid for the domain and hosting for you but you should really fucking know that information yourself.

And I don't care if your mom says 'everything is fine' on her side. You were hacked you need that information so you can tell when things are added that shouldn't be and in this case notify the host site in case the issue is on them while also knowing how to reset everything properly site specifically

Fuck. I should start charging my friends for being stupid and taking my time with things they should know how to do.

My degree is an associates of 'General Programming'. They have a degree in specifically 'Web Development'

90% of my web development knowledge is self taught. If her program didn't cover fucking ssl she needs her money back

HTML is the core building block of the web. Why does everyone feel the need these days to abstract and virtualize and recreate the wheel? You’re only slowing down your site...plus adding layers of confusion for new comers and adding more code to maintain.

This app seems to be mostly web developers so I have a question that will either spark interesting discussion or a blood curdling flame war. Either way:

I'm trying to build a blog site for myself. I'm not a web developer, for the most part I write C software, but I have written web software before. I want to write it, not use a CMS. What are some techniques and tools I should be aware of, so I don't break my keyboard in frustration?

We were forced by the enterprise architect team (people that knows almost nothing about web development) to use EdgeIPK an application technology that renders html-js-css using a designer mode to produce a cutting edge web site.

After 8 months of headaches and the resignation of the EdgeIPK web developer consultant we rewrote the entire thing with something else.

on dev rant, "web idiots" = people who are way better than me at web dev. they're better than me at that so therefore they are bad. me monkey brain feel safe. ooga booga!

this site should just be called InsecureRant

Proudest bug squash experience?

Fixed a N+1 pattern bug on our web site. Wasn't a deeply technical problem, but I was proud to shove the fix up the arse of the developer who blamed me (and even got a VP involved) for the web site crashes (the N+1 involved his code calling a service I wrote) and none of the half-dozen other devs found it.
I really wanted to make a t-shirt with his initial 'blame' email outlining all the 'technical problems' with my service, and the fix was literally moving the service call outside 5 (yes 5) level deep for..each loops.

be me.
be sad that you can't find your favorite Greek Food online.
offer your local Greek Restaurant that you do their web stuff.
make a nice modern website.
show it to the greek guy.

"Oh please look at this website, I like it more"
shows you a site build with tables, and menu-shortcuts only linked to pdf files.

cry in a corner.

It's been a while since I've heard a consensus of a moronic idea from the corner offices. I was invited to a department planning meeting (just to listen, not necessarily engage or add value) and discussion went to the development of a mobile app.

Mgr1: "The CEO has the net present value of the mobile project as $20 million. Where did he get that number?"
VP: "No idea."
Mgr2: "How will it be any different than our web site that is already mobile compliant?"
VP: "It is to gain market share"
Mgr3: "Market share from who? A mobile app is not going to increase our customer base. At best, it will only move some of our existing customers to mobile. No way it would scale to those numbers."
VP: "The primary benefit is so customers can browse offline."
Mgr2: "Offline browsing isn't listed in the milestones."
Mgr1: "We're not going to push and keep gigs of data up-to-date on someone's phone just for random times they don't have internet access."
VP: "I guess that's right. We can push our pdf catalog. That's only a few hundred meg."
Mgr2: "Pushing the catalog? That's not on the listed milestones"
VP: "Its all assumed."
Mgr3: "Who owns this project? Web team is already maxed to capacity."
Mgr2: "Marketing team only has 3 developers, we can't take on anything as complex as a mobile app and support the existing processes."
Mgr1: "What about the network infrastructure and PCI compliance? We're talking about a system for the web site and another for mobile, right?"
Mgr2: "Who is going to manage all the versions in the app stores and future changes to the mobile platform?"
Mgr4: "Not us"
Mgr2: "Nope"
Mgr1: "OK, good. Its very likely this project will be dead on arrival at the next company strategic meeting."
VP: "Mobile the only project on the strategic meeting agenda. Sorry guys, it's happening. We're not going to leave $20 million sitting on the table.
<awkward silence>
VP: "Next item of business ..."

So my friend wanted a website, and I was kinda busy, so I asked him to find a web host. Five minutes later he comes back asking to use Tor and to make a .onion site. He said they're "secure and all the rave" nowadays. He was shocked to learn that most .onion sites are illegal and that Tor is a web browser to reach those illegal sites. I still make fun on him.

Working more than 5 months for our new web site. And considering lots of cool stuff and useful features. Just after the launch one customer called our support to notify that our site has been hacked.

I think accept cookie thing should be done by browser itself. If it was like when using
document.cookies=bla browser wod show the popup that if we (users) are okay with the site storing a cookie. It'd be much standard as I can set accept cookie from all web sites etc so I don't have to

This pic is from my class messenger group.
Translation:

Dear teacher! Our group have chosen another web builder for the project, we hope it's not a problem...

Yeah, I use templates which I can copy code from to my group's site, but for the love of *!#* life I consider myself a noob beginner even tough I've been in this field for a year or two now but I can code with more confidence now. What the hell are these people going to do if they only willing to rely on school and wix...

But I can always be wrong, these are just my thoughts.

So I work in a web development company in my town and have been doing a while or heap of parallax sites for our clients. Now obviously when we do the designs we get them in and get them to play around with the site before we go ahead and push their new site out and make it live right.

Wellll who would of thought that a simple parallax site would be so hard to use for the general user??? Recently we have been getting the occasional call where the client is getting complaints about the site only being a big ole image or just one block of text. After investigating why their site was broken or why the users weren't able to see the whole site I came across no problems at all.

Today I got a call from the client who instructed me that after explaining to one of his own clients that he had to scroll down the page that everything was just fine!

I mean, what? How do you miss the big ole scroll bar on ya screen or even think to even attempt to scroll? Some people aye lmao

Just developed a fully working site building web app in 2 days. Puuuh 😅

This is a warning 😡
A tale first...
I being the kind soul I am offered my help to another web company .. their site was built poorly and took 20 seconds to load I told them the fixes they needed in the hopes they would give me the work to do it that was the agreement after all 😡

Instead they stole my ideas and did them themselves now they have a good website 😡 fully working

Let me be clear if you fuck me over like this. I. Will. End. You.

I hate scum like this ... I'm calling him tomorrow I will give him the benefit of the doubt, if he says something like 🙄 well tough.

There won't be a website the next day... 😡

😈

So you are running ads and people who click your ads land on a blog post? What is the goal? How are you measuring conversions? How do you know if an ad or post actually helped?

Am: "When can you get this up?"

Me: "I don't have any of the information I need to make a page."

Am: "skip all the seo crap and tell me how long to get the content online"

Me: "you're missing the whole point of a blog post. But ok it's online"

Am: "was that so hard?"

No, putting garbage on a site is not hard. Creating useful web pages with content that is easy to find and read is a time consuming process and it would go smoother and faster if you followed the checklist I gave you which lays out what I want, in a single, cohesive document, all of the necessary pieces to a web page or blog post or content edit. We have templates for you to follow to help eliminate back and forth emails which causes things to get lost or fall through the cracks.

Plot twist: the client is actually a spider looking for a SITE to make his WEB on

"Web design has a bad reputation for being stylistically trendy and same-looking. Some guy does a parallax scrolling site, and now your boss wants you to add that to your corporate PR website for some reason. Glossy buttons, Gaussian Noise, linen texture, new things that look fake-old, then back to minimalism and flat colors as a reaction to the glossy noisy textured fake-old stuff." - Jonas Downey

My company provides its services as web pages and web services to our customers.

Once a year we update the certificate used for the https connections.

I notified the update to the clients that use the web services.

One of them asked me a copy of the public key.

No problem. Open the web site with the browser, save the key and send by email.

One day later the client asked me the public key in a zip file because the anti virus blocked my attachment.

Why the client hates the Chain of Trust ?
He could obtain the public key by them self from the browser or openssl.

My trying to login to my email account my.email.address@example.com via web:

Site: You need to verify that you are really you. We sent a verification email to my.email.address@example.com please click the link in this email to verify your identity.

"We want you to run the site"

"Ok but you don't need me - the rewritten codebase is javascript and the Python proxy is in the cloud. You can run it on any cheap web hotel. Or just unzip the app on your own desktop"

"We want you to run the site."

Loop this a few times. Can't say I didn't try to save them the money...

When a website designed for companies to test applicant coding skills has web site bugs....awkward...

Hello everyone.
So, i am thinking about where to get lists of programming languages, frameworks and softwares that is fundamental. For example:
If i would like to develop a web site. I would use html, css, js & php. Maybe a site or frameworks for reference and 'roadmap'. I want to become a good programmer.

Thanks, I'll pass.

In case it can't be read: "This site requires Javascript in order to view all its content. Please enable Javascript in order to access all the functionality of this web site. Here are the instructions how to enable JavaScript in your web browser."

Why the f*ck do you want custom cursor on the site? It's annoying when suddenly your cursor changes from default. If that's not enough they are increasing size by 2-3 times. I understand if it's a gaming site or web game but why do you want to put this crap on a business site? No need to change the cursor for branding. That's stupid.

Site live for over 8 months, client contacts me saying a web form is not working. Check through code missing $ on a variable. Shit, it must never have worked. Checked through error logs and sure enough its been bust since it went live. I changed the variable to pull in their email address rather than mine when i pushed it live and missed off the $. Trying to think of a plausible and client friendly excuse.

When you're web scraping and the site suddenly redirect their url to their second site so your codes becomes useless.

Instructor: "and now here we can write this while loop in ph- oh wait. Let me just show you a cool trick. I am gonna close this php tag with ?> , open an html tag , then again open this php tag , add this line, close it, then again close html tag, then again open php, and then close it. pretty crazy huh? You see, now we can have our cool bootstrap displaying this output beautifully"

Me : FUCK YOU MAN :|
for reference, this was the final output :
============================
<?php
while($row = mysqli_fetch_assoc($result_successful)){
?>
<pre> <?php print_r($row); ?> </pre>
<?php
}
============================

I am a newbie in web dev who comes from a very nice java/kotlin world. is this a common site in web dev, mixing of all the html/php/some 1000 more laguages and frameworks to make 1 working product? coz it sucks.

SOMEBODY just updated and broke the live website... Testing site is perfectly fine and unupdated. What are the web team doing?!?!?!

I currently work for my college for the web team. We are working on a year long project which is to update the college's old website to one that is not only more user friendly, but is also mobile friendly (unlike the old one). My job for the past week (with another week to go) has been to simply delete all HTML attributes that were used in HTML3, and this entire site was written using it.

So I'm a "Web Application Developer" but I have to go out on site whilst a trained engineer sits in the office doing nothing. Everything I can do on site I can do from my office with teamviewer. Hit the M25 at 09:00 and will hit it again at 17:00 ... not a fun day

On a conference call for this university-affiliated web app:

Random supervisor: “I think the demo presentation needs some more jazz!”

Another supervisor: “Maybe we can do a virtual reality demo of the site, then!”

What. The. Fuck.

What do you think about having a portfolio website for junior devs? Does it help, does it not? How could I promote mine?

Pretty late for week 86, but I just remembered my first paid freelancing web dev work.

While not my worst experience, it was a pretty horrible task given to me...

I was helping someone implement a new design on a pretty outdated (visually and technically) PHP site.

I was getting paid crap. The guy wouldn’t even let me look at the HTML, let alone touch it, so definitely no PHP work, either...

Literally the only code I was allowed to write was CSS. So, I’m supposed to be restyling, but I can’t change the structure at all, or even ADD CSS SELECTORS.

Fine, I’ll just make your site fragile as fuck by using nested relative selectors.

#main:nth-child(3) > div > div > div > button

As if that wasn’t bad enough, there were some pages...I shit you not...that had A DOZEN LEVELS OF NESTED TABLES.

WHY. DEAR GOD WHY.

For a simple checkout page.

So, on some pages I was literally trying to access elements through relative selectors, nested within levels and levels of tables. FFS

Needless to say, I did not work for him for long. Even if I wanted to deal with that crap, my time is much more valuable than what I was being paid.

Can we collectively as an industry just calm down a little and stop lying to ourselves in a misguided attempt to inflate our sense of purpose...

I just stumbled upon a job listing for a WordPress developer position that described it as "helping solve the big problems of the day". Seriously?! Let's stop and get real you're probably just building themes. Maybe a plugin or two. So just relax and accept you're just another web developer building yet another 💩site you're not solving "the big problems"...

... Then again it IS WordPress...

I get a free year of web hosting from this web developer course I'm taking on Udemy, so I started setting that up and bought my own domain name from GoDaddy with a promo code. But before I can transfer that domain name to the site I'll be using for hosting I have to wait 2 months.

So I start developing a site for a client and request for the site assets.. Client provides 100+ 25mb sized .tiff images.... For the web! I tell him that the page load times will be insanely slow and I explain the need for optimized images.. He doesn't care.. So I upload the images and he flips out at the performance hit, complaining about the slow load times.. Here I am sitting and optimizing the images when I should be home :/

Around a year ago I launched my first site in rails.

Even though the site didn't took off, I learned from it, and it was an enjoyable experience.
Well, at least some of it.

As a web developer, I enjoyed doing the web development.

Then came hosting and deployment. Pretty stressful since I'm no sysadmin/devops person, but you could say it's still in the realm of software. So I managed.

But the one part I couldn't stomach is marketing.

Partly because I have zero experience and interest in the subject, and also because I don't to be an annoying marketing whore asking people to check my site.

I have never seen a bigger cesspool than the google results of the query "how to get people to know my site".

I have seen the shadiest shit, I have read of people saying you should befriend subreddits mods/admins and then ask them the favour to let you post your stuff.

I know that contacts are important, but taking advantage to get traffic on your product? No thanks, I'll rather have a dead site.

This was pretty much the experience when googling about marketing, unethical shit everywhere.

In fact, even calling it marketing makes me feel kinda sick, but it's a thing and it's pretty much necessary to get people to know your site.

Anyhow, in a company, everyone does their role, but this is just a one man thing.

So the ideal thing would be if a marketing person (hopefully an ethical one) took care of that. How does one find one though?

I guess you either partner with one or you hire on.

The problem with partnering is that I don't know someone like that. Do people partner up with "strangers" on the internet?

I could hire too, but I'm not as affluent as being able to employ a single person for 50k a year. And I don't know how feasible it is to hire someone when your site has no revenue anyways.

Maybe there's some company that offers such servicwe? I dunno...

What are your thoughts on this?
I'll be thankful of any feedback.

With all the stupid fucking animated shit on websites: videos that popup, advertisements that flash (really?), things that popup if you move your mouse, headers that move weirdly relative to your scrolling, and more... Its like the 90s all over again with animated gifs, popups and other garbage. Is there some stupid web designer course saying animating shit is a good idea? The videos that move around are the worst. They totally fuck with my peripheral vision and make me want to rage quit the site.

No matter how many times, or whichever way I explain, he still doesn't get it. Are people so fucking blinkered they do not want to listen, or even read what you write. Back story, produced some web design visuals for a client, and fortunately he had the good sense to listen and employ a copywriter. She had the first draft done when i was putting together the styling, so i placed actual copy on the visuals. 2 weeks pass, still no answer. I send the same email to him, every 4 days and cc his PA for good measure. Finally, he says he wants to make some tweaks to the copy. I explain that any copy changes can be done via the CMS once the site is built, and can I proceed and build the site? He replies I need to make changes to the copy first. I explained again about the difference between the visual and the actual website, same response. You Fucking Infuriate me! Cunt!

So my manager mentioned off hand that we might look at updating our company website to look a little more modern...

Me being me jumped right into action and now that I've finished I remember why I haven't built my personal site.. Fuck static web pages man...

Don't know why I did this, not even happy with it but I think it'll do, CSS and HTML is messy but fuck it, it works...

That moment when your task is to refactor a Web site and you discover that every element is positioned absolute and all responsiveness is done by callbacks attached to window resize event

Why do people hate wordpress so much? It honestly fucks me off the amount of hate it gets and I honestly get a little triggered when people give me the "aww people who use Wordpress aren't real web devs" comment? Like fuck off i use Wordpress to make using a site more easy for my clients you daft cunt. 😩

Me: [jira comment] We have similar text for the mobile version of the site already. [includes screenshot of what site looks like now] Are you sure about this?

[radio silence for a few hours]

Me: [slack] I want to follow up.

Web Operations: What’s the issue?

Ooh k. Slack messages can have a tone.

Me: I just want to confirm we’re not repeating copy.

Web Ops: We’re not.

I complete the ticket and submit for review. The C-suite for my department reviews.

C-suite: [to web ops in JIRA comment] This looks weird. Is this right? [sends screenshot of my work because there is repeated copy, like I said there’d be]

Web Ops: [in JIRA comment] Oh, I thought X was questioning the request. X changed the wrong text.

C-suite: The website has always looked like that. You’re looking at X’s screenshot for the current website. Look at the screenshot I sent over.

Later, I complain because web ops was completely unprofessional with the comment about “questioning the request.”

C-suite: Web Ops is working hard. It’s our busy season and it’s their first time dealing with it. You know, I’m going to teach them some css and html so they can make content changes in the CMS and they’re not sending over changes so often and bothering you.

Me: [to myself] 🤨 wtf so it’s ok for web ops to treat me like dirt. And in writing. And with service that’s version controlled—JIRA emailed web ops comment to me. And lol no 😂 on teaching them how to code. That’s such bullshit. We all know you’d never allow them to edit the CMS because they’d fuck up the site. And they wouldn’t do edits anyway because it’s beneath them. And idk how this relates to web ops gross behavior.

A few days later.

Me: I was offered a job elsewhere. Here’s my two weeks notice.

C-suite: Can you push back your last day? It’s our busy season.

Me: Nope. Bye Felicia.

My company is getting a new website. This involves getting new hosting.

I made the old one, and it's all just static html. I'm not that attached to it but it's an important detail.

The bosses want the switch to the new site to happen instantly, but I pointed out that with DNS propagation times etc it can't really happen that way.

So I suggested the new web guys host our old site for a few days and we change the DNS now. Then when they want to launch we don't have to wait for the DNS and they can just swap it out.

This involves dropping 10MB of html files into the web directory on the new server.

For this service they are charging us for 2 hours of their time!

I guess I'm in the wrong business...

I need to performance monitor our web app. I have been working on some speed improvments since some of our customers have complained. My boss wants me to be able to produce stats which he can use (and abuse) to highlight to customers that we have got quicker. I am currently looking at blackfire for PHP profiling to help with speeding things up but I need a top site overview for everything. Our stack is PHP (no framework), JS (jquery + vanilla), MySQL on Windows mainly. On premise solutions would be good since we don't traditionally run in the Cloud. Our system isn't SaaS and is installed on dedicated data centre servers or on premise

when you cant be arsed to do icons so you just use emojis for button icons.

btn.textContent = "🗑️"

because icon sets now have their own apis (like what ever happened to icon fonts?), and documents explaining what scripts and commands to run to *install fucking plugins* on software written to *supplement* doc servers. plugins and software whos host site returns an SSL error. nice.

to use web icons. downloaded only on request. from other sites.

seems kind of eh, tower-of-baylon to me. like a bird landing on the electrical lines near your house might cause a blip and break one or two icons on your slick 2020 web app.

idk just seems unnecessary, like if you're small, your gonna want to embed your fonts on the webpage instead of overcooking things and hosting *a fucking server* just to serve an api for fucking *icons*. and if you're large you're gonna reduce those requests anyway

When I started with PHP I had to implement an administration system for a small organization.
They using the smallest and most cheap web hosting to host the system and also their websites.
They host three systems and websites on three different web spaces.
Some weeks ago I got a call from them, that the system doesn't work. After a short investigation, I discovered that their '"designer"/boyfriend-of-the-boss created a new Wordpress site and thought it would be a good idea to change the PHP system to 7.2. The system runs on an old CakePHP (don't kill me for that, I had no experience -.-') version, which does't work with PHP 7.2.
I told them what the issue was and that they shouldn't change the PHP version to 7.2 because the system won't run on this version.
Some a week later, the same call, another administration system, the same reason, the same warning from my site.
Today, the third system doesn't work. I told them this is probably the PHP 7.2 problem again and explained, how they could resolve it themselves.
Suddenly I got an email from the designer: no, this time it is another problem, he didn't change anything and it just doesn't work anymore. And it is very urgent.
Guess what was the problem...AGAIN!

devrant.io a site designed for developers and aimed at a platform they don't use for rants.

The desktop website is a quick bodge of a job, but they spent allot of time on the mobile app instead...
I would of thought that devs would prefer to write their messages on keyboard since it is second nature to most.

Correct me if I am wrong, but has no one else thought about this? I mean the web app is literally just a letter box view so that the format is the same as mobile...

Me working on html/css updates for a banner message.

Web Ops Director: [slack] Hi! nice to e-meet you! I was talking with the Mgr of Product. He thinks it would be great if the banner message updates were on the site right away instead of having to wait 10 minutes for the cache to clear after updating the banner content in admin. Can you add that to your ticket?

Lol that’s a load of crap. 1) Product would have just told me himself and 2) Product would never pull this bullshit of bringing a ticket out of scope like you’re pulling right now. And 3) My spidey sense says this is a red flag 🚩.

Me: [in words web ops will understand] That’s going to a lot of time. And it would keep your content updates from making it to the weekly release. 😁

Today at a friends graduation party I met her father(retired aged). He asked me what I do and I told him I am in web development. He says, 'I can't remember the name of the site but it's for looking up recipes. I don't like it because it's not very easy to use. Is that your fault?' Implying that because I work in web I am responsible for all poorly designed websites.... Awesome!

At job
Im ready to work on a new web site.

Wait for content... Wait for content... Wait for content... Wait for content... Wait for content

You have 3 week to do it completely
🤔🤪

I've been creating a new website layout for a small theatre group. I am like how it's coming together :)

It is designed with user interaction in mind because the layout they are using now is... Well, thrown together. It uses images as buttons and I had a few friends of mine ask "Where do I get tickets" and it is not updated regularly.

I plan to automate a few things like for shows, if the show date has passed, it will remove itself from the home page. I also plan to web scrape, if the site permits, some information to be displayed on the show page.

I got to lots to do before I can show them what I've made.

I’m not a web programmer; I’m an application and SQL developer. So when I’m tasked with scrapping a web site for an ETL feed, I thought it would just be a ton of substring and Post/Get calls.

Nope! There is this garbage called JBOSS.A4J where the page isn’t a page but a bunch of files that are merged together and then it isn’t “real” but like a bunch of Photoshop layers that “look” like a page. JavaScript functions based on key press and things like Select/Option that looks like an element but Selenium/PhantomJS (C#) can’t find it. Or my Google-Fu isn’t working.

I feel bad for bitching a lot on this site, so I'm going to try something positive for a change.

I got finished building this basic database web application that I ported from a Java EE based API to the Spring/Hibernate API. Took me about 3 weeks of work to do it. There's a new feature to search the database that I added just today. Had to do some debugging on it but it works fine.

Back in May I had never written a line of Java code or setup a LAMP stack, to doing stuff like this. This stuff gives me the strength I need to keep going. Someday I'm going to get a job as a junior dev.

I created an ASP.Net Web Application as my personal Web site. Tested it locally then wanted to test it in a live environment. I purchased a domain/hosting package then publish via FTP. Point it to homepage and nothing shows up. I call customer service and they say it's hosted on a Linux server but their options don't show that it is Linux based. So I had to change it to a Windows platform that it should have already been on. SMH 😣

Sadly, I’m not a good enough developer to have clever and hacky solutions to anything. In college I did once use Visual Basic to spoof a Novell login screen and steal other students’ passwords and write them to a diskette, which I’d recover after they walked away from the machine. The worst I did to them was log into their messaging and send them messages from themselves. Oh, and I also set up an “underground” web site that the campus sysadmins didn’t discover for a while. I used it to set up a forum where students could sell their used textbooks for better prices than the buy back program at the campus bookstore.