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CEO: "What if we invest in our devs (i.e. trainings, certifications) and they leave?"
CTO: "What if we don't and they stay?"10 -
Typical paranoia's when developing a website
- what if the user has JS turned off ?
- what if he is using the site without a monitor ?
- what if the user's electricity is off ?
- what if there's no user ?12 -
For fuck's sake,if you are teaching "Machine Learning For Developers",you don't have to waste a whole hour explaining what the fuck a variable is or what is an if statement.Developers know what that is....aaargh.Off to sleep.13
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What If our Boss's read our Rants...
OH GOD NO!
But
What If they write there OWN rants about us?
Now im scared8 -
Dev: "What if the user has more than 100 entries? How would that display?"
UX: "They won't ever have that many"
Dev: "But what if they do?"
UX: "They won't."
(spoiler: they do)3 -
Comment the "why", not the "what". If your code needs comments to explain what it does, rewrite the code (use good, descriptive identifiers).3
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So my team lead told me in a code review that you shouldn't use 'else if' in code.
Instead you should best them like:
if
else
if
else
if
else
Apparently that would improve readability...
Am I crazy, or what?18 -
What if some day devrant starts getting bigger and has a lot of employees? What happens if they start ranting too?8
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What if I've been wrong all the time?
What if everyone else is correct and I'm the one who is raging all the time?
What if I'm annoying you everyone?
What if I'm a very bad developer that everyone hates?
*social anxiety intensifies*4 -
What if we were the AI created by God to automate repetitive tasks and now we are making AI to automate those repetitive tasks and this goes on and on until the world gets a stack overflow.9
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I always feel insecure when i push my code to github as public repo.
Like what if my code is so far from standard.
What if i showed a very stupid logic.
I am very insecure when pushing my code to public repos.12 -
You know what drives me crazy.. seen this inside code of "senior devs"
If(something() == true){
// do something
}
Dude!!! The if only happens if its true!
Code this..
If(something()){
// do something
}
OHHH but if i say something I GET IN TROUBLE.4 -
What if devRant made this app just to see how to improve their own company without looking like shit?1
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Company : we added AI to our product!!
What i hear : we added a sequence of if and if else to our product 😂😂5 -
Dennis Ritchie.
Can't imagine life without C, I mean what if C wasn't even invenented? What if Unix wasn't there?
Dayumn!!!7 -
I hate setting up case statements cause it's hard to cover every case. What if a virus puts a gun to my programs head? What if my program is at a cache party and chrome offers it weed? What if my program isn't gay, but $20 is $20?2
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Interviewing tip #2: If you're going to lie about what you do at your current job on your resume, remember what lies you put...10
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Else if, elif, elseif, if else garrgghj. I can never remember what it is in whatever language I happen to use...13
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What would you answer if your IT support asks: "What do you use to connect to MongoDB, Internet Explorer or Chrome?"8
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What was your first language? What would you wish your first language was instead (if you didn't like it)?25
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Me: Do you know what *he / she* said?
You: No, what?
Me: Well if I fucking knew, would I be the one asking? -
I just wrote, "We don't use braces for if in this package".
For if in! What the hell am I speaking!1 -
"If you run printf(“hello world”);, it will print “hello world” every time. But if you call a Windows API, God only knows what will happen."
3 -
I just wrote this code, let's see if the dude who is going to work with it after me will rant about checking state right after setting it as null.
I wonder if he will know why I did this ...
30 -
What you'll be working on if they hire you vs what they say you'll be working on if they hire you.9
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Reject “what if they sell my emails”, accept “what if my own mailserver fails”.
Escape a paranoia by establishing an entire new kind of paranoia.9 -
On my desk, relics from a lost computing civilization.
I'm curious if anyone recognizes what these are.
I'll post what they are later today if nobody knows.
14 -
Hello senior devs.. . What happens if you screw up? I mean if a junior dev screws up, the senior helps.. right?6
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-- What if JavaScript never existed?
-- What if HTML was a programming language?
-- What if our data online isn't abstract but physical?
-- What if geeks have their own country?
-- What if humans exist and we are the aliens?
-- What if the internet is state-owned?
-- What if we could download food just like every other downloadables?
-- What if my VSCode won't kill me when switched to light theme?
-- What if there was no gender and the word "female" is just an alias for "male"?
-- What if bugs could find and fix themselves?
-- What if there's no need for an account password?
-- What if Linux was owned by Microsoft?
-- **What if I could tell my boss that I'm tired of his fucking job without actually telling my boss? This is the actual what if.**27 -
What happens when I say "uhm... and what if I remove this two little lines of code?"
Ctrlzctrlzctrlz
-
What do you use to develop?
If laptop which one + specs?
If desktop specs + favorite accessories?
What type of development?
Editor?6 -
What I want to write :
//TODO : Parallelized this sh*t ???
What I actually write :
//TODO : Parallelized this part later if possible (i.e after checking if overhead doesn't cost too much)
Sigh.. I want to add more of my personality in my code.
: /2 -
I asked on StackOverflow how to use Angular2 and NodeJS together, that's the foundations of MEAN stack. The answer was "use a generator". SERIOUSLY? It's the stack most famous ever and nobody knows how to serve a fucking static folder without using a generator? What if I've already my own generator? What if I want just to add API to my current project? What if I just want to know what fucking is happening under the hood? What the fuck? Seriously? A generator? Oh my God! A generator!2
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Don't know if already asked but, what brought you to programming /your work area. Do you like it? Was what you expected?
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What if I’m dumb as hell in reality and I don’t recognize it. I keep holding on to this false belief that I can learn programming, but going nowhere in reality. What if I don’t have any talent at all?10
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What if an enormous asteroid hits the entirety of earth and all our codebase, hardwork, passion, and js frameworks get wiped out?6
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these days Internet startups and companies what you to do something without Internet, they says what if whole internet went down, what will you do then? dude if Internet went down, your company would not exists 😒
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Me: What if I use navigation props in EF Core, what might go wrong?
*tests API call*
*120 seconds later finally got result*
Me: I better undo my changes and stick with 2 seconds response time O_O -
I woke up this morning thinking "what if Trovalds doesn't GPL-released Linux" and i got like all:
Edit:
*Shooting stars music
:v
1 -
Actual question: Tell me which project management software you use and what you hate about it. What do you like about it, if anything?15
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If it's a paid job, by spending some time on amazon, if it's not, by spending a week thinking if it's worth the time and deciding what to do next
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What if. What if all the developer are just one developer. What if all the world is just a training setting for that single developer. All the developers are just manifestation of one single developer.
All the greatest hackers and the noon. Every developer In the world is you. You are all the developer. The one who codes in java python JavaScript. Heck cobol. It's you. What if all the developers are just one developer manifesting differently ?
(Inspired from similar story where all human in history is just one person manifesting into forms to prepare him for higher 'levels ')4 -
My heart is always heavy when I have to add couple if statements with if statements inside of that if statement. Mans gotta do what mans gotta do1
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Guys, what is the worst thing that could happen if you don't take measurements against big tech companies spying about what you are doing?13
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What do people like more?
if(condition){
return true;
} else{
return false;
}
Or just
if(condition){
return true;
}
return false;7 -
if((fabs(a - 0.0) > 0.00001) ||
(fabs(b - 0.0) > 0.00001) ||
(fabs(c - 0.0) > 0.00001))
What have you seen dear traveller? What have you seen?2 -
Wait. What? If Mexico doesn't control our immigration, we are going to shoot our own industry in the head? What. A. Putz.9
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With just 5.8 percent women on SO, I wonder what the gender ratio in here, so my own survey - ++ if a guy, comment if a girl ;)
5 -
So my computer is doing ok after becoming spastic over viruses. I did hardware and software cleaning. First time I did removing hardware parts but it worked it way better than expected with the static sensitive parts (I used a anti static wrist band). Congrats to myself I guess :)3
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Not a rant but a question/style.
What do you prefer and why?:
if(condition)
vs
if (condition == true)
and
if (!condition)
vs
if (condition == false)
vs
if (condition != true)17 -
If you don't know what you're doing, ask. If your team lead doesn't help, go over their head. You should alwats know what you're supposed to be working on, towards, whatever. If no one knows the mission and vision then leave.
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What if one day you wake up and surprisingly you find new feature by Github called Github stories.
What would it be....
Go ahead improvise.5 -
what do you guys think of that 10,000 ppi screen?
what would you build with it if you had the time and resources?11 -
A random thought.
In a game what if we put these messages instead?
If a person wins, "We have a winner!"
Else, "We have a weiner!"1 -
Fuck... Am getting my laptop's battery changed and this feels like someone's doing a heart transplant of my precious.
What if the new battery isn't compatible, what if the guy turns out to be a thug and takes away my laptop parts ,what if what if what if.... Damn kill me now10 -
If you dont know what to put in a oracle TNS string ... Its ok ... Nobody know what to put in this shit
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Anyone else here a high school student that does programming for an FRC team? If so, what number? Also, what language?11
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Hypothetically..
If one was to acquire devRant, what would the pricetag be?
And what would you change about devRant?12 -
PR (tested)
-- if(a){ x(); }
++ if(a && b(x)){ x(); )
Reviewer: what if a'?
Me-think: but da'/dx not defined, :'(4 -
What would you do if you reborn?
give me some advice
what should i do in my life to be happy in older ages?16 -
If this doesn't give you anxiety, I don't know what will...
http://hoveringartdirectors.tumblr.com/... -
What is everyone's opinion on companies/organisations 'too big to fail'...?
I was just pondering on how 'just Google it' has become so 'natural' as a way of saying search the Internet. The more I think about it, the less I like it.
I know the chances of them failing/crumbling are neary zero (hence the name) but if an org, Ie Alphabet, made some shit decisions and bankrupted their company, what would happen then? Any ideas? I don't mean in terms of social fallout, economic etc.
I mean in terms of network infrastructure, them being such a central part of 'the web', all their Dns services, their backbone links, Google drive, Google fiber etc. What would happen to all user data? Just be destroyed?
I've never 'seen' a large tech company collapse, but just wander as to how that process would work for such a huge organisation, and the literal mountains of data they have which will need destroying or relocating.
Inb4 watch Mr robot hurrr5 -
on an interview for an apprenticeship as IT support, got a question that should've been simple, but got dragged to far beyond. "what if you can't figure out a solution to a problem? what if there are no colleages to ask? what if google isn't available, what if the nothing in the universe can solve it?"5
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I've heard of the prisoners dilemma, so here's the programmers dilemma:
If nobody gets what they want, endless meetings ensue
If person A gets what they want, then everything is fine
If person B gets what they want, then everything is fine
If both get what they want, it becomes a shitfest
I think this goes for conventions, patterns, you name it2 -
Poll: What OS do you use for development? If your os isn't in the comments add it, if it is ++ the comment mentioning it..16
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If you are into Postgres and don't know this guy than I don't know what to say...
I wonder if he's on devRant
2 -
What if some one very cruel programmer programmed a programmer and designer AI that can generate code 700X faster, generate flawless and reliable code / design in any and Every programming language that could replace 100% of the programmers in the world?
What if he give it for free?
And companies started to fire all programmers and designers to download the free AI and use it and it was better than every programmer in the world?
What if the AI was able to code a whole Office suit and all Adobe products in just 3 seconds?
What if it was very intelligent that no one needs to hire a programmer ?
What if any one started to create their own app using it and replace programmers like car replaced horse?
What do you feel about it?
Do you wish if it happen?
Or not?
Is it your dream?
Or nightmare?17 -
Does your company have a dress code? What do you wear for an average day?
And if you're a student, what do you wear normally?29 -
Would you want to create your own programming language?
If yes, what would you call it and what would it be used for?15 -
Dear devs, what gadgets do you often use that help your daily programming?
Even if you only have m+k, what do you prefer?7 -
what do you listen and using what kind of services while programming? Share your playlist if you got one7
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Everything from https://devrant.com/rants/4289918 but on the side of projects I happen to work with and dependencies. Applying this scope of change on one human is a bit cheap, don't you think? 🤷♂️
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A register machine with strings and hashmaps as the only data types and no stack. You have to make one from a linked list of hashmaps.1
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What are your plans for the weekend, and if you weren't doing what you're doing now, what else do you think you'd be doing for work?
https://devrant.com/rants/105964531 -
Bloody softlayer sending notifications about expected downtime on "IMS services" (which could mean any of a great number of things), without specifying what it is, what it does or to what services or regions it is related...
Grmbl, what use is there to get a notification about unexpected maintenance if you can't even make out if you'll be affected or not! -
What are you gonna do if/when AI replaces developer/tech jobs. Not saying it'll happen but what if.
Me, I will open a convenience or drug store where I live..16 -
Agency people, do you offer support contracts, if so, what do charge and more importantly what do your customers get?
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What is consciousness? Can it be simulated? If so, is it possible with current hardware? What is thought? Is it an input or an output? Is it voluntary? Is there a gap between stimulus and response? If so, how large is it? What happens there? How do you know?22
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I have $5 linode instance. What open source things should I run? or what applications are you running in your server if any?4
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