I actually lent a girl an umbrella yesterday which takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

What a great way to start your day and begin your fucking 2018

The cat just pissed on my laptop (it’s a macbook air)

Wet af

Stink af

Dried the fucking wet stink af laptop

It still works

But the fans gone crazy and slow af

Trying to reset the smc stuff

Nothing changes, still retarded

I want to open the bottom case but i dont have the screw driver

With its fucking limited 128gb storage i store my shits in cloud storages like google drive, dropbox and mega and my projects are stored in bitbucket so nothing to lose

Me : 1 vs Cat : 1

To my beloved cat:
I work hard using this damn laptop to provide food and home for you and you just take a piss on it.

Dells XPS are made of magic. [long story, major fuckup, 10k+ damages]

It all started in December. One morning I was late to work, drove there as fast as possible. (I live like 3 minutes away so me being late really meant *late*) Parked my car in a secluded car park, grabbed my backpack and ran to work. The car park is like 100 meters away from work so I took my feet into my hands and ran. Next thing I know my heels loose all grip while I go down a small slope and I drop on my back full force. On a sharp edged stone. With only my 1700$ XPS in it. Fuck.

I paniced, but got up and ran to work. I checked on the notebook, praying it would boot. It booted! Holy shit. I flipped the notebook and saw two small dents in the aluminum shell. I was thorougly impressed. I later discovered that it left a small shadow on the display, but given what a hit that was (I am not exactly a lightweight), impressive would be a massive understatement.

Fast forward to February, I am weighing my options to get the screen replaced maybe, as damage on my hardware (even if neglectable) triggers some sort of OCD and makes me feel bad 24/7. Also my laptop tends to shut off from time to time, looked into the Event Viewer and saw kernel panic. I figured that the battery probably still took a hit and that it drops voltage from time to time and the kernel assumes a critical situation, thus shutting off.

It stayed quite snowy in Austria up until March, so occasional snowing wasn't rare. Got out of work one day, saw it snowed a bit. Whatever. I had my moms car at the time, so I tried if it would slide a bit if I donut on the now (5pm) empty parking space. Nothing. Drove done a small hill, ABS triangle lit up red (board computer can't outbalance the snow). I drove out to the main street where everything was salted and drove along towards my house. Took a turn into my street, accelerated for a bit and then went off the gas so the car would smoothly drive along with the speed slowly degrading. So I went off the gas and noticed I was a bit to the right, no wonder, centrifugal forces.

*steers left*
"Huh seems like I need a bit more"
*car still doesnt move much*
"What the- go to the left!"
*steers left hard*
"Fuck that wall is coming closer"
*Breaks*
*car doesnt break*
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"

Everything got quiet in seconds, me waking up to an open airbag, ripped pants, a hurting wrist, the radio somewhere on the ground and fumes that smellt like burning wires. I grabbed my backpack that was now somewhere on the floor instead of on the seat and ran outside, tears in my eyes and the phone on my ear calling my mom. I walked inside as she walked outside, hearing a weeping scream that I haven't heard from her since I am alive. While walking inside I noticed my backpack was wet on the bottom, my 2 litre water jug shattered when my backpack hit the dashboard. I tried to stay calm and act rational, knowing that every second counts when It comes to water damage. I hastely searched for some rice and a bag to put my laptop into, stuffed the bag with both and went outside. The car was totaled, my mom pissed and crying. And I was in shock, sad, angry and hurting.

I kept the laptop on my heater for a few days, bagged in rice. I dared to try a boot after a while and you wont believe me, it fucking booted. Even the keyboard backlight worked, just the screen was obviously broken in the back (no color distortion or bad pixel rows though!!) and the aluminum shell had a dent on the front. I talked with Dell Support a few days later, asking if it would be ok to open the XPS up so I could drain all of the water. She said yes thats fine, as long as I dont touch anything or screw around with it.

She said I can send it in and get it checked, but the pickup and analysis will cost 150$ and I can go from there.

I sent it in and estimated that, because battery, screen and other things probably needed changing, it will be around 900$.

Got a call a few weeks later:

"Hello beggarboy, the repair team reported back to us and said that they will have to replace everything, which will be 1700$."

"Fuck... Buying a new one is cheaper.."

"Yeah I know I am sorry about that, I can offer you a voucher so you can buy a new one for 250$ off if you would prefer that"

"Sorry but I will need some time to consider"

"I understand."

The agent clearly noticed I was bummed about it.

After going back and forth what to do I got another call a few days later.

"Hello beggarboy, we talked a few days ago. I have good news"

"Hello, yes, speak up?"

"I was able to get a special offer for you after putting in a few words..."

The next thing she said seemed unreal to me.

She was able to cut 600$ (!!!), making the new offer 1100$, instead of 1700$ or a new one for 1500$. I figured the reason she probably did that was because I am always very polite with support members. Always.

My XPS is back and healty again.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Dells XPS are made of magic.

I remember reading shampoo directions as a kid and it feeling wrong to exit the cycle.

1. wet hair
2. apply shampoo
3. lather
4. repeat

I didn't choose development life, it chose me

That's it. I fucking quit.

Over a month of unpaid work, developing your stupid course, only to get a high-quality outline rejected because "it's not what we wanted" again.

First outline, fuckers ask to do something with a Raspberry Pi and Yocto. Fine, but no Yocto as I don't know anything about it and the coworker doesn't even have a Raspberry Pi to flash the images on. Micromanagement guy (god I hate that word) agrees, fine no Yocto then. So no Yocto it is.
2 weeks later... Course outline is finished. Review stage.. rejected. Needs moar Yocto.
Fine... I'll include Yocto. Coworker was put off the course, I'm exclusively on it now. Time to do it well and get my feet wet with Yocto.
2 weeks later... Course outline is finished and looks pretty good. Review stage.. rejected. Needs less Raspberry Pi. Do it without the Raspberry Pi.

An embedded systems course whose core component is that fucking Raspberry Pi. Omit it they said. WHAT?!!
"Oh yeah but there's this other course that's selling like hot pockets, we can just redo that in videos. Make it more like that course."
You.. you can't be for real, can you? If students want to take that course... What makes you think that they wouldn't just pick.. *that damn course* then?

"But hey" micromanager said, "don't loose hope and confidence, I'm here🤪"
🤪. That describes your level of competence pretty well, you stinking piece of apeshit.
Go back to your micromanaging, at least you don't completely fucking suck at that.

2 times rejected because YOU fucking company's board can't describe your desires in a course properly. You know what, I think I'm starting to understand why web devs keep on complaining about indecisive clients now. Because you know company's board, you seem a lot like those clients from hell. Eat shit.

🖕

Me: "DRY (Don't Repeat Yourself) is a good mentality."
Other devs @ company: "I'm so wet rn."

Finally finished my AMD Watercooled build 🤤
Now my code can run cooler 😂

CPU - Ryzen 3900X - stock

RAM - Corsair Vengeance 32 GB 3600 Mhz

Mobo - Asus ROG Crosshair Formula VIII

GPU - MSI GTX 1080ti 11GB GDDR5

I fucking hate toxic positivity. Every fucking corporation pushes the notion that "lifE iS aWeSomE, wE cArE abOuT pEoPle" and other such bullshit, and when you point it out, they call you a bad, toxic person.

No, you don't care about your community, let alone the whole world. You're just trying to make people believe that spyware, wage slavery and being fired by a neural network is the norm. You're making money off of those who don't have a choice.

If you account all people, not just American white rich 1%, it turns out that for the vast majority of people life is either an uphill battle or straight up nightmare. People are working in shifts and have no time or emotional resource to spend on themselves. Most of the people can't afford a house or a flat. Even those who can still suffer from mental illnesses, to the point where there are more mentally challenged people than mentally healthy ones. The word "neurotypical" meaning "mentally healthy" is wrong.

You want nothing but to sell your stuff and earn more money off of Chinese and Indian factory workers who work 16-hour shifts. Maybe your life is great, but aggressively pushing this notion is a big, wet spit in the face of humanity.

Fuck you. Fuck your space rockets. Fuck your twitter accounts. Fuck your institutionalized exploitation of the weak. Fuck your products. Fuck your "open source". Fuck your "GDPR compliance". Fuck your offshores, your hedge funds and your tax evasion. Fuck your bailouts. Fuck your ships spilling tons of crude oil, fuck your factories, fuck your slave labor, fuck your anti-suicide nets in Chinese dormitories.

One day, because of you, our planet will become unlivable. You will hop into your fancy space rocket to go to that top-1% elite Mars colony. Nice job.

But I will pray for a solar flare to hit you and turn you and your fucking rocket into radioactive ash.

Haha!!

We have no more time for all this Agile stuff!

Half of our developers might have been injured when we built the Great Wall of China, but no worries, we've listened to your complaints about feeling overworked!

You can take 3 extra days off this year. Meanwhile, we're starting the next project.

We're building some pyramids.

What? You want Scrum and sprints? Sure, do sprints, whatever helps us build those pyramids!

Requirements? Refinements? What requirements are there to refine?

We require a giant pyramid.

For v1, you can build the foundation out of wet mud. It must be 500 meters. Wide, or high, we're not sure yet, we'll get back to you on that. It must have less than 4 sides, but certainly more than 3.

The Frontend team has already built a part of the entrance using 60 semi trucks filled with papier-mâché, pipe cleaners and glitter.

Now go build already!

Wet tunneling right there 😂

"I'll not sign off this project unless you promise me that the app will NOT GET WET WHEN YOU UPLOAD IT TO THE CLOUD" (was a desk application... I left the company that same day and promised myself I'll never get back)

To all you devs still wet behind the ears ranting about css - you have no clue just how good you have it.

Most designs used to be table based (table-ception) and to give something a border with round corners or a "drop shadow" you would literally create a table to hold you content with an border of cells containing a background image of a corner / border.

Now you use border-radius or box-shadow as a 1 liner. Stop bitching about centering things and figure out how to hack it like we did.

If you remember this whats your least missed 20th century hack?

Websites that brag about how much coffee they drunk and share zany facts about their employees. "Sarah is a scorpio and enjoys the smell of wet grass."

Am I the only one who doesn't give a flying fuck?

Hello again, everyone. As Sunday comes to a close, and Monday is fast approaching, I'll share with you the likely cause of my death by stroke and/or heart attack:
MONDAY MORNING COFFEE OF HORROR
Disclaimer: Do NOT try this. I am a professional addict. I am not responsible for anything this brew from hell causes to you and/or those around you.
So, I wake up, feeling like I haven't slept for days, or just notice the fucking alarm clock shrieking because I pulled an all-nighter.
Step 1: Silence alarm clock via mild violence.
Step 2: Get the coffee machine to brew some filter coffee (espresso works too)
Step 3: Get milk and ice cubes from the fridge (both are needed, I don't care if you don't like milk, trust me)
Step 4: Get 2 spoonfuls (not tea spoon, and actually FULL spoonfuls) into the biggest glass you have
Step 5: Pour just a little of the warm filter coffee into the glass, just to get the instant coffee wet enough, and start mixing, until the result looks like the horror you unleashed in your toilet a few minutes ago (and will do so again in a few)
Step 6: Mix in 25-50 ml milk, just for the aesthetic change of colour of the devil-brew, and to add the necessary amount of lactic acid to react with the coffee to produce chemical X
Step 7: Add ice cubes to taste (if you are new to this, add a lot)
Step 8. Slowly add the filter coffee while mixing furiously, so that the light brown paste at the bottom get dissolved (it's harder than it sounds)
Now, take a deep breath. Before you is a disgusting brew undergoing a chemical reaction, and your moves need to be precise otherwise it will explode. Note that sugar or any other form of sweetener is FORBIDDEN, as it will block the reaction chain and the result won't be as potent.
Take a straw (a big one, not those needle-like ones that some cafeterias give to fool you into believing that the coffee is more than 150ml). Put it inside the mix, and check that the route to the bathroom is free of obstacles.
Now, clench your abs, close your nose if you are new to this, grab the straw and DRINK!
DRINK LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
THAT BROWN DEVIL'S BILE WILL HAVE YOUR INTESTINES SPASM AND DANCE THE MACARENA WHILE TWIRLING A HULA HOOP!
YOUR HEART WILL GO OVERDRIVE HARDER THAN YOUR PC'S CPU WHEN COMPILING ON ECLIPSE AND BROWSING WITH IE AT THE SAME TIME.
The combination of caffeine and lactic acid will bring out the perfectly disgusting combination of sour and bitter usually expected in rotting lemons. After you manage to chug it down (DON'T SPILL OR SPIT ANY!) you have 30 - 60 seconds max to run to the porcelain throne, where you will spend the next 30-60 minutes.
After that, nothing can stop you! You will fix bugs, write entire codebases from scratch, punch that annoying coworker, punch that boss! You will be a demigod among mortals for the next 6-8 hours!
Your recipes for Monday morning coffee?

!dev

I live next to a nightclub and went outside for a fag.

It’s wet, 2:30am and kinda cold.

A girl and her boyfriend come out of the club..
Her feet hurt because of her high heels so she takes them off, walking on the wet, cold road barefoot now.
Her boyfriend sees it and tells her to put them back on.
She denies.

He takes off his shoes and gives them to her (good boyfriend...) she puts them on, almost falling over cause she’s hammered as fuck, takes them off again and says they don’t fit and look stupid on her..

WTF, I understand taking the shoes off When she’s drunk but I don’t understand how the fuck she could care if it looks good at half 2 in the morning in an empty town..

I’ve seen it all now..

#onlyInIreland

Home office / lockdown story

Last year, when the first lockdown happened, everyone in my office started working from home. Including myself of course.
I decided to use x11vnc for remotely accessing my PC cause it is super convenient.
A few days into the home office and suddenly the remote keyboard acts weird, with random keypresses that I didn't do, and then the letter L was written over and over like it was stuck.
Assuming a bug in x11vnc, I restart it several times, but no luck. Whenever I open a terminal it is full of "L"s within a matter of seconds.
So I restart my PC remotely and reconnect the x11vnc, which is a huge pain in the arse if you have ever done it. And can you believe it... Still the same problem!
So, finally I gave up and went to the office to see what the hell was going on with my PC. I entered my office room and could not believe my eyes.
What had happened? The room cleaner had wet-wiped my desk. To create enough free space for that, she had first cleaned up the mess, putting the scattered paper nicely on the side, but then also *putting the bloody mouse on the bloody keyboard*.

I was recuited to do devops work for a client. The project started in late '14. Until mid '15 I was forced to just sit there and do nothing. And I mean nothing. The ops team needed my help but the project lead didn't allow that (endless discussions). Somewhere around the end of '15 I could start to work and quickly learned that I had to report to two leads that couldn't disagree more on what to do and how to do it. I also learned that the companies mentality is "Clean me but don't get me wet". So the ops team demands a lot but is really uncooperative with everything. So I am currently sitting between three grindstones and everything I do is worthless. Because nobody agrees with anybody and I cannot fulfill my job for which I have been hired: Make ops more efficient because they are drowning in manual work. My job is further complicated by the following facts: This company uses no standard whatsoever but their own. Thru this they have created a Rube-Goldberg-Machine. But they think their system is the greatest in the world and the only one that makes sense. Which makes automation pointless because it is not maintainable. They call it diversity and they say that it is the clear reason why automation is not for them even though they schedule meeting after meeting in which they discuss about how to automate things. But in general they do just block everything useful and sabotage my work. And behind my back they make me the reason for the fail. Every real decision is blocked anyway. Also the ops guys think they are the leetest in the world. And everything they invent is above and beyond. If you ask them why they have over 400 VLANs for example (in a company of unter a thousand employees) they stutter and stumble because they cannot explain their complicated shit. They also change their decisions like underwear. Another really "kewl" thing they just did: They hired a devops engineer and everybody loves him. During the interview he said that he has no prior experience with devops whatsoever and it will take him around six month to get started on the basics of devops. I could go on for hours here about the insanity of this company that in my opinion will cease to exist within the next 5 years, if you ask me.
Long story short I am getting out of there by the end of march and will be on sabbatical shortly after because I am burned out. And I mean burned out. Not like "Oh I am burned out". I mean really burned out, with health problems and everything. Another external guy got out here last month because of the same health conditions.

I've dealt with dusty computers, REALLY dusty computers, computers owned by smokers.

I've seen dead beetles and earwigs and spiders with their cobwebs in computers and dealt with them.

I've even seen live moth larvae wriggling about in a computer.

But never, have I ever had to deal with fluids. Until today.

I had to take apart a laptop that had been used as a toilet by a cat. It was still wet, but not warm.

And I had to try to get data off of it. But no, the urine was not compliant.

So, already pissed off customer was less happy about the fact that her data would still be a few days away from recovery to a new computer.

At least her frustration wasn't at us.

Yesterday I stayed at home sick. Had a bad case of the EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA FROM HELL. Was feeling ok but could not walk away from me throne.

Went in today cuz the lead was not gonna be there and shit always breaks on Freyja's day as we all know.

1 and a half hours before we clock out and go home someone calls saying that students are trying to drop from classes at the last minute and our app ain't doing it.

I "fixed" the app last week and ran a small login test. It work so I thought it was fine. Stupid me for making unprofessional and retarded assumptions.

Manager freaks out. The entire school freaks out. Coworker lols cuz he ain't got to work on it. I start mind debugging the entire bitcheridoo.

45 minutes later...and I was able to successfully go through almost 15k lines of code of php/html/js code and fucking FIXED it with tests and all for real.

Went at it hard. Babe ass manager was like 0.0 and then (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Called head office and told them everything was undr control.

Dropped the phone like a mic. Mic drop.

Then I looked at manager and coworker and said "ya I fucked up, but I am still the king"

Both nodded in agreement.

Everyone got wet with my sheer awesome troubleshooting php master skills.

Got home thinking about how boss I am.

Fucking Texas af b. Can't touch this heat. The rangers still suck and so do the cowboys. The astros and the texans don't exist because there is only room for one. Go spurs.

Still have diarrhea.

Fuck yeah.

The state of the web in 2020:
discussion sites as a medium are dying. chalk that up to censorship.

reddit is an echochamber. twitter is mostly a marketing platform disguised as (anti)social media. instagram is a self promotion/wannabe eceleb site, and youtube is the new hollywood..quickly becoming irrelevant.

facebook is where I (dont) go to (totally not) ignore all the people important to me.

and email is where I go to send letters bordering on hatespeech to my various local and federal "representatives", in between borderline cyberbullying people stupid enough not to automate their spam marketing in 2020. or talking to left/right self-help grifters about the state of society.

in the grim dark future of 2020, the last bastion of intelligent conversation, free speech, and civility, the one shining icon of hope in a dark world..
is the comment section of pornhub videos where a women got stuck under a bed for the 50,000th time. And all I can think is "wow I never knew how easy it was to get trapped under a bed. They should look into fixing this safety hazard."

newsmedia has jumped so many sharks, the fonz now spins in his grave so fast we could hook him up to a generator. meanwhile people hide in their homes for a disease so deadly you have to be tested to know if you even have it.

while ever more car commercials
are released, set to somber but hopeful piano music to the tune of "in this time of social distancing its important to stay close even when we're apart."

Im beginning to think media has become a poison on society, both television and the internet, and like an ersatz cargo cultist worshipping the great-charles- manson-in-the-sky we should all take a page from the unabomber and smash our televisions with hammers before going outside and sawing down the telephone polls.

I jest of course. But there is no denying the inherent appeal of moving from the unsettling uncertainty of complex societies, driven by expertly manipulated fear cycles, to the beatitude-esque simplicty of pastoral protestant style living, sans witch burning and shoe buckles.

And against the reckoning of utopians who are still fresh from the womb as it were, wet behind the ears and smelling of their mother's pussy, I reject the notion that "up" is a synonym for "forward."
Were it the case, every drinking binge, followed by throwing up, would bring us, with each vomitting, one step closer to heaven. Rather the state of affairs is what it is, and what it is, like most of nature, is a cruel master and a harsh teacher. And while we may binge on digital delusions of grandeur and a greater society, rest easy in the nihilistic and sobering thought that we are little more than 200,000 year old cave men wielding magic bricks, and atomic bombs.

..where water flows more readily from metal tubes in our houses than it does from the nile. where food comes to our door at little more than our beck and call.
where we may bath, and sleep, and *shit*, cleanly, comfortably, and safely, wrapped in the (failing) bubble of delusion we all tenaciously grasp collectively, the thing we call "civilization".

an empire of needful things, wanton and fragile.

if we have not gone mad from boredom, I have no doubt we one day will.

it becomes more and more obvious to me every day, had war never existed, it would have been necessary for man to invent it just to have something to do, that didnt include farming, fucking, or building.

And so enters "political idealogy."

How would we ever have enemies if we were allowed to speak our piece instead of being given the means (and reflex dogwhistle training) to silence and destroy one another?

give a man a gun, he'll rob a bank. give a man a bank, he'll rob the world.
give him a media empire or a tech platform, and he'll lie about the theft and convince one half of millions of lemmings to hate all the other lemmings.

!dev

It’s sooo weird.
I’m generally not feeling happy or good or “okay”, I’m almost always rather shitty but just keep going through my day without complaining too much because that’s what most of us do..

Today, for the first time in at least one (very lonely, cold and boring) year, I went outside for a smoke and felt good. No idea why.
Everything was orangy/yellowish outside because of the clouds after the first sunny day in weeks.
Its raining slightly but not so much that you actually get wet.

I just had this feeling of “yea, that’s good enough” which I haven’t had in probably 4-5 years or so.

Maybe it’s because I got a little bit of sun for once and saw other people walking 2m around me, I don’t know..
But it felt good.

Does that feeling sound familiar to anyone or am I just finally going crazy?

I also apologise for my last 50 rants not being about dev or rant but I’m lucky to not have much to rant about in my current job 😅

Dafuq... My new position label is Senior Software Developer.
I do not identify myself as a senior even in my wet dreams.
I'm confused.

I try as hard as possible not to be judgemental towards incompetent colleagues, motivating myself with the knowledge that we were all incompetent at some point, and that people need a chance to learn, and that sometimes too much pressure will lead you to believe that they're bad. Or sometimes, people just aren't good at the stuff you want them to be good, and you just need to discover that niche where they will be very useful.

Mostly that goes well.
I've had the incompetent late bloomer who was a family man who started too late to dev, and wasn't really serious. A bit of harsh talk, some soul searching over a few beers, made him into a really valuable asset. Not the brightest rock, but reliable, steady-paced developer who earned his stay.
Then there was the girl who wasn't really good at coding, but saved our team from disaster many times by keeping things into account, and realizing what must be developed or tested at every step.

However, there are exceptions. I've worked with people who have been nothing but a menace, through their incompetence AND attitudes.

The most noteworthy example was an intern that we sought out, by talking to professors to point us to their best students. So we got that intern on board. He seemed strange at first. Kind of perfectionist. Talked serious, with an air of royalty, and always dressed sharply. He really gave the impression that one must be worthy to receive his blessing. The weirdest part was his handshake. It was as if he was touching an iron hand heated to 3000 degrees. It was over before you even knew it. Leaves you kinda offended. Especially when he always took a wet wipe after that and wiped his hands. Am I really that gross?
But that's fiiiine. I mean we're all different and weird in our own ways, right? So he's a germophobe, so fucking what? We just gotta find a way to work together, right?
WRONG.
As soon as he started (and remember, he's a paid intern, who barely knows how to code, and has zero industrial experience), he started questioning my architecture solutions, code implementations, etc. I don't mind discussion and criticism, which is why I welcomed his input. But it seemed like he wasn't willing to accept any arguments, so I started looking for excuses not to talk to him.
Meanwhile, the most productive team member we had, to whom you could just give and describe an idea, with architecture and stuff, well, and you'd see it implemented the next week, with only the most well placed questions asked, started going into fights with this intern for the same reasons I was avoiding him.
.....
And here's the kicker.
Get this:
This intern comes to me (I was the team lead), while that guy is not in the office, and with a straight face, dead serious, starts telling me that that guy was making stupid decisions and being a bad team member because he doesn't ... I quote him almost verbatim... "follow my indications". He said that I had to do something because he refused to work with him together.
I was stunned.
This good for nothing imagined superhuman, who was completely useless and an amazing annoyance to pretty much everyone in the team, came to me, telling me that the most capable and productive developer in the team is bad, because he doesn't follow his orders, and that I had to pick between the 2.

I couldn't believe what I had heard.
I had so much emotion in me right then. I was angry, but at the same time I could barely abstain from laughing.
I just told him calmly that he was wrong, and that I wouldn't mind if he never came back. I didn't see him for 5 years after that.

Anyway, later that week our team went for a dinner + beer, and the stories from all the team members started pouring in. They didn't want to talk him down either, but now that he was gone, it was a weight off, and everybody could tell their story.

What a fucking asshole.

So 5 years after I stumbled on him as he was entering a church. Still an arrogant bitch. Barely exchanged 10 polite words and I continued on my way as he was disinfecting his hands from my filthy handshake.

There is nothing sexier than a well designed CI pipeline....i have wet dreams about that green check mark.

fancy coding standards

Climb into bed, feel something wet under leg. Wtf? I check. Bloody slug...

There was freaking slug in my bed...

Clean it out, change sheets and all (at 4am, I got lost in the code) and then see another one climbing up the side of the bed

It's highly important that these wet wipes are not, and I repeat NOT, used by non other than professionals.

THANKS FOR THE EXPLANATION. I WOULD HAVE NO IDEA OTHERWISE. SERIOUSLY.

Walking through car park, it's raining.

Down a slope to the next level.

Started to slide, this is bad... I'm not a dainty dancer I'm a 250lb meatbag.

Slid at least 9 feet, bailed to my knees and hands like a dog (cause it's down slope I couldn't not go to all 4s)

Knees and shins wet, glad there's no cameras... I'll just carry on like nothing happened.

Today was a rainy day...
So some of my colleagues got moody, the others got motivated...
And me , well i got fucking wet because i forgot that damn umbrella again.

When your co-worker thinks the Onion is a legit publication and believes in all its tech news 😁

"OMG Google puts metal chips in their developers' heads, thats why they are so efficient"
Me: ok :|

"Artificial intelligence is real and it has taken over the world, all world leaders are bots"
Me: ok :|

"Obama is not a real person but a robot and he is not just ruling America but the world"
Me: sweet :|

"Even Lisa Ann is not real"
Me: FUCK YOU, Dont fuckin kill my wet dreams

How to get investors wet:

“My latest project utilizes the microservices architecture and is a mobile first, artificially intelligent blockchain making use of quantum computing, serverless architecture and uses coding and algorithms with big data. also devOps, continuous integration, IoT, Cybersecurity and Virtual Reality”

Doesn’t even need to make sense

cold, wet and depressing autumn mornings/days.

Aaahhh, it's that time of the year again when you appreciate how hot your laptop and its charger get.

My feet enjoy my charger :)))

Dialogue when I entered the room of a co-worker, and it wasn't an individual office.

Me: YO MAMA her son bitching 'bout compiler licence?
Him: Kiss my ass!
Me: Could cram a wet roll of toilet paper down your pants.
Him: Yeah that'd come pretty close.

Other co-workers: WTF?

Anyone here knows the fastest way dry wet pants. I just dropped some water all over my pant and it looks like I've peed myself.

DAMN IT

Half a year ago, I got fired in my job. The reason was the same always bullshit; we have very little clients, economy nowadays is terribly bad, our priorities are different now than when we hired you, etc.
The last week I spent there, I heard something about my poor performance and programming skills, and that pissed me off a lot. For six months I worked on a laravel web app for managing customers, tasks and invoices, a fucking CRM, but made specifically for that company just because they didn't know sugar, odoo, prime or whatever.
Parallel to the crappy CRM, I was told to patch some PrestaShop, WordPress and plain sites, and it was hard to communicate with customers, management ignored every email I sent, and all I was told to do was "do as they say".
The result was shit, obviously, and my work showed much less skill, knowledge and expertise than I really have.
After that, I spent a few months unemployed, studying and working as a waiter just to survive, because my contract didn't comply with unemployment office requirements for a pay.
Then I got this job, on an analytics company where guess what, I'm told to write a fucking laravel web app for managing customers, invoices and tasks. In the meantime, I design websites, and communication with customers is shit, and management ignores every single mail I send.
My salary is eight hundred putos euros again, and will contract is wet shit.
I know, maybe I am "not that good" to earn a 3000€+ salary and have a good team support.
But I'm not */that/* bad.

When you get so little sleep that your toothbrush is still wet next morning.

My arguments about Apple:
- "iPhone 12 camera can be better than anything else because it's more advanced, it has LiDAR and 10-bit codecs"
- "I can copy on my iPhone and paste on my MacBook and vice versa out of the box"
- "My Beats can seamlessly switch from playing from my MacBook to my iPhone to my Apple Watch. I can be exercising with only my Apple Watch and my Beats, no need for iPhone"
- "2K screen with nice colors in a 900g laptop is rare if you consider the price. Apple one is the cheapest one with that characteristics"
- "Apple Pay is convenient"
- "Fingerprint scanners fail with wet fingers no matter if it's ultrasonic or optical, LiDAR Face ID is objectively more secure than any camera-based unlock mechanism"
- "Stainless steel frame feels better than aluminum one"

I'm not saying Apple is the best. I'm not saying that Google Pay doesn't exist or that Apple Pay is better. I'm not saying that Apple has no downsides.

However, these are responses I get:
"But Apple IS crapple, immutably"
"Why are you even looking at apple crap if you want something good"

If you want to bash Apple, bash it for something real like that butterfly keyboard fails, unconventional AirPods shape that makes most people's ears hurt, screen coating fails on MacBooks, App Store commissions.

Ughhhhhh. This fucking code is a disaster! The guy says he built it DRY, but it's WET as fuck! So much fucking repeated code!

I'm annoyed most because I know that it'd be a fucking waste of time to try and rebuild what these guys have built over the past 5 years, but goddamn it, it shouldn't be an excuse to keep on making code like this!

I know that I'm not super experienced in C# but pick up a goddamn book on good coding practices. This thing is a disjointed mess and it never had to get this way.

So many fucking interfaces!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Repost by me, but it just fits this week's rant, cuz it's wet.

I just saw the equalizer 2 at the cinema and about half way through there is a phone with "military grade encryption" on it. We see the phone screen showing the encryption and what is it? Freaking JQuery!

I was a tad drunk last night because the week was... more than exhausting.

I felt like a pinhata yesterday - pretty beaten up and gutless.

Woke up this morning still a lil tipsy and decided to just be happy and don't give a damn.

Decided to take a hot bath to get nice and relaxed.

My smartphone decided to commit suicide and slided in the bath tub while I was in the kitchen making coffee.... And water was still running.

:) Bye bye smartphone, no more annoying messages.

While bathing, I relaxed a bit too much I guess.

Felt a bit of pain but then so much better because something in my back "plopped" back to where it belonged I guess?

I managed to rip off the shower curtain with my foot since it was a very short moment of "fucking frigging shit that hurt".

During that moment I also created a great flood, bath room is still wet...

And the funniest thing is: I don't give a damn.

Smartphone is definitely dead, ordered a new one, will arrive next week.

Guess I should stay the weekend on the couch before I accidentally blow up the mansion.

:)

I don't know where this good mood is coming from, but damn it has been a long time.

Woke up, took a shower, realized it was 2 AM in the morning...

Luckily my hair wasn't wet yet, how can I be so sleepy that I don't even look at the time

I recently accepted my first "real" Dev position. This has been a huge hurdle for me.

So my degree is in graphic design and it's pretty much what I spent the first 2-3 years after university doing. In fact, when I started at the place I am now (I am still working my notice) I was hired as a creative artworker.

I had always had a website I put together with some basic frontend skills, but always assumed the backend stuff was "beyond me". But, given the option here, I asked to be sent on a PHP course. Holy shit I took to it like a duck to water. Over the next few months I got my feet wet building a new website for the company, building out a little intranet, all that good stuff. I went from procedural spaghetti monstrosities to nice, OOP, documented code. It was beautiful. And no one here really have a fuck.

About 6 months ago, I started trying to leave. This was hard. I actually had several interviews for design positions, but always got turned down for some variation of "you're very technical and we think you'd get bored here" and thank god really, because they're right. I could never get a look in for Dev jobs though, because on paper I had no experience, hell my job title was still "Digital Designer" despite over a year of developing here.

But it finally happened. Through someone I used to know I got my foot in the door for a developer position. In the interview they even told me if it was a junior position they'd hire me on the spot - but sadly it wasn't. I had a good time though, a good laugh, and had a lot of fun finally, for the first time in my life, "working" and talking with other developers.

Over the next couple of weeks the agent kept telling me I had done really well and they were just dragging their feet getting things sorted, but I gave up hope a little. So imagine my surprise when I found out they turned the role into a junior one for me!

And so now, I get to go to a job where my job title includes the word "Developer". To some of you that might not mean much, but to me it's a fucking medal I wish I could mount on a plaque on my wall.

Making an ssh connection:

No....

No this one.

Not that one.

Not that one, either.

*starts typing*

*Typo 1*

*Typo 2*

Yay. Connected to server.

... Okay. Wrong environment.

*Exiting*

*trying again*

*Typo 1*

*Typo 2*

*finally connected*

Okay. I'm here...

Why did I connect to this machine again?!

------

Migrations are fun. Your bash history is an obsessive lier, your brain completely fried and when you finally managed to achieve something... You either forget what it was - or even worse - you get reminded of all the stuff you still have to do.

I'm literally amazed that I currently manage to go to the toilet, don't forget to make coffee and eat stuff at least once a day.

Before anyone thinks... Haha joke.

Nope I'm dead serious.

I am amazed that I didn't forget to go to the toilet, aka sitting in my own piss and wonder why it's so warm and wet down there.

I'm glad that the migration is going to end soon, otherwise I might opt in out of paranoia for adult diapers.

*My brain is really fried*

Manager : you are fired

Me: *pausing Netflix*
Me : why?

My wet dream is pressing tab when entering a path in cmd.exe and it suggests folders/files relative to the already entered path.
Like bash does it.

IMHO technical dept is kind of like smoking cigarettes for some decades.

You were told that shit will hit the fan but you do not take proper action. And one day you'll realize that you fucked up (or not, also seen that).

Worked for a company in IT, where we maintained an ERP which was "in progress" for over a decade. The basic implementation was done by people with zero technical understanding. To clarify: not self coded. Software was bought. We are talking about integrating the system.

Therefore, the foundation was like a wet noodle. When I joined that company, I told them that they need to address that. I told them that things will get slower and slower and that shit will hit the fan if no proper actions taken.
Even made a list with flaws I found. With potential risk and actions to take, that could then be measured.

At that time, five people worked in said department (including me).

People did not want to listen. "Would be too expensive to rewrite stuff".

Nothing has changed about the wet noodle, but I tried to fix as many things in a working system as I could. Felt like heart surgery, because changes got implemented and "tested" in prod. No version control, no documentation, everyone implemented things like they felt (no guidelines for consistency).
A lot of small fuckups that summed up over the years.

I left the company after two years because I had the chance to land a job as a dev.

Been around two years now since I left. Now 9 people work in that department with around the same efficiency as us 5 people back then.

The new employees struggle to be productive, because things are just implemented poorly and not maintainable anymore.

Had some dialogs with them some time ago. Everything I told them would happen, actually happened. What a suprise :-|
I will not go into too much detail about all the shit that's going on there, as it would be just too much (and my morning coffe is almost finished).

I think that we all know the difference between "not beautiful, but does the job" and "oh, that will backfire - badly". And I wish that my communication skills increase so that people start listening in future.

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarfffffffddddd

Motherfucking shitty depression kicks me around like a fucking wet teabag.

Shit doesn't get done

Motherfuckers are annoying me

And this constant whining....

Why can't we have new hardware....

Because it's fucking 'rona and you had a motherfucking frigging shitty ticket to clean the shit up so we don't need frigging fucking new hardware that takes ages to delivered

Now I have to give a seminar thx to some special guys showing up stoned on work law....

... Getting chewed out by management and tons of laughter was exactly the extra care package I needed… thx for the nice reminder that you are all shitbags.

I love my job and the team mates close me.

But the rest of the people seemingly nuked their brain and are really grinding their teeth down my emotional barriers.

Why is everyone seemingly obsessed with stupidity since Corona began...

<deep breath>

2 more days.

Remember, just 2 more days.

Weekend is near...

So, i've noticed something:

- My grandfather drinks nothing but the water.
- My grandmother recently increased her water intake due to meds making her retain water way less
- My dad has been drinking more water in an attempt to be healthier.
- I don't drink the house water without boiling it first, as i'm the only one that thinks it smells and tastes like wet dog smells, aside from with like kool-aid or similar where the taste is masked enough to not be detectable.

Well, what does this matter? I'll tell you:
- My grandfather went from fine aside from minor balance issues to totally mentally fried in 24 hours.
- My grandmother is spacing out while driving and falling more and more.
- My dad went from fine to overwhelmed by basic decisions in a couple months of moving here.
- I've noticed a slight decline in my mental health, but this is probably from issues i've had with my college and general stress.

Correlation ≠ causation, but... it's usually-unfiltered water from a well placed uncomfortably close to a lagoon, and it was never tested for safety before use (despite my protests.)

So ever since I was a kid I've been terrified of being submerged in water. A couple times I've gone up to my friend's dad's lake house, and the most I've done there is like put my foot in the water before I got scared.

But today I was at a coworker's grad party, and they had a pool in the yard, and he convinced me to get in. His words were "get in or I'll throw you in", and that got me right in there. It scared the FUCK out of me, but I did it. After that everyone was splashing water all over me, trying to get my hair wet.

Overall, great time, but I'm still scared of being like fully submerged.

Today I've got the energy of a wet matchstick in a dark cellar.

Google simply can't knock off harrassing their users with security theatre.

A friend of mine has a small personal YouTube channel. He has recently been bombarded with several phone verification requests a week: "Verify it's you. To continue your session, complete a brief verification. This extra step helps us keep your account safe by making sure it’s really you. "

While frequent verifications may be understandable on YouTube channels with millions of subscribers, channels with only a few dozen subscribers are not attractive hacking targets. A verification would be justified before a potentially harmful action such as deleting videos or deleting a channel. But not for normal everyday use.

What's next? Will they ask users to "verify it's them" every ten minutes, "just for extra security"? Just to verify that it is "really, really, really, really, really" them?

It's not security. It's security theatre.

Sorry, Google, but users are not in the mood of doing a phone verification every other day.

Has this been Google's perverted wet dream all along?

Why do co workers find it acceptable to eat and type on their keyboard with greasy fingers and then go on to ask for help only to realise that my fingers are wet / greasy seconds later.... eugh

Step on a lego with wet socks.

Needing to teach myself M$ InfoPath because of legacy business code. What better way to learn than getting the feet a little wet first!

echo "Hello World!";

Just got here.

It is easy to believe something is over-engineered as a junior. You open a solution and get slapped in the face with a wet fish of many classes, with strange names, doing very little, with everything coming together in ways you don't understand.

My advice is to learn about design patterns, clean code, clean architecture, and model driven design. Until that point I don't think you can make such a distinction. And indeed once knowledgeable of patterns and techniques as well as the domain, the same solution can look obvious, elegant and readable.

In a field where everyone is saying 'dont over-engineer', one must be able to tell if something is actually bad, or just uses techniques you don't recognise.

Telling your senior you think something is over done just because you don't understand it is not good. First learn techniques, understand the code, then form opinions that are at least relevant then.

From someone who committed that crime.

Unpopular personal opinion in 3... 2... 1

The new macbook pro keyboard is my favourite keyboard I've used and any lenovo style keyboard feels like typing on a wet sponge...

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to crawl back into my hole...

And a big fuck you to sony mobile, I hope you die soon.
TLDR: sent a weeks old phone for repair to Sony, they asked 450€ because according to their "experts" chassis was bent and main board was busted besides the obvious screen and touch being broken.
It costed less than 400€ including vat.
Out of spite I ordered a replacement screen for 55€, and it's fucking working again, thanks a lot for the offer but I still can replace an lcd myself. Screw your warranty policies, you made a phone that slips like a wet soap.
I've owned xperias all my life, Arc, U, M, Z1 besides all the dumb phones manufactured by Sony/Ericsson.
Guess I'm finding a new brand very soon.

A colleague currently has a cold and takes a deep, wet sniff every 10 seconds or so rather than just blowing his fucking nose - he even (politely) refused a tissue I offered him WTF?!

All concentration is lost when you're perpetually awaiting the next sniff.

Y'all Vim (anti)fanboyz be like "ha! try to exit Vim!"

And then there's me, Emacs fanboy... my first shortcut was to undo a change - Ctrl+Z. Guess who looked at the monitor like if he got a wet slap?

Note: it minimizes the window and I blinked right in that while.

I remember at a company that I was working as a Drupal developer, I had finished building a website (both designed and developed it) using Drupal 7. I was very satisfied with the result and the way the company was operating, I had to show it to the project manager and he would say if it was OK to show it to the boss and then I would contact the client to say that we are finished.

When I showed it to the PM, he provided some changes from his personal "I know everything" book and after I made them, we both went to the boss' office. Keep in mind that I had built the website following the clients notes and preferences (custom sliders, certain color swatches etc.) and I was on point.

So, after we entered the office, we sat and I was pumped to hear good news. But, not a minute passed since the page loaded and the boss was clearly unhappy with the result, and more specifically with the changes that the PM provided (not even my fault). When he finished talking, I tried to explain that I followed exactly what the client said and executed accordingly, without the changes that the PM had put on the table. Suddenly, the boss' face was angered and turning red(ish). He started shouting at me and saying that I was not experienced enough to know what I am saying (I was 21 years old at the time), and that they had the experience to criticize if the website was ready or not and if the client would like it, pointing out that I wasn't capable of knowing what the client needed.

I was bursting in my chest, I felt a fire burning with anger and righteousness, but I turned my face down and apologized. It SUCKED! It felt SO bad. I took the notes that he said (which changed 90% of the website's design) and after that I called the client.

I felt some kind of vengeance when the client started shouting at the PM, when he saw the website. He yelled and said that, the design that the boss chose, was not remotely close to what the client had requested.

Next day after I finished the website with the design I had provided, the boss was looking at me like a (proud) wet cat, saying 'well done' but not another word, while entering his office.

Well, at least the client was happy at the end! That's all that matters, right?

For state management, we use:
React state
Redux state
Local storage
Session storage

That’s it 😊

I'm still wet behind the ears as developers go, and about a month ago I cobbled together a webservice. After many bug fixes I somehow got it working as intended, held together by tape and shoestring and creaking all the while.

This week, one of the consumers of the service wanted me to open it back up to change the name of the request .xsd. no functionality changes, just a name change.

I protested, worried my service would fall apart if I breathed on it. But he insisted so I made the change.

I just tested it and... it's working as intended.

But I still want to be mad about this!!

I too got my $1 unix sticker pack (thank you very much whoever posted this by the way) and thought posting a picture of them would be redundant
First thing when I brought them to work to show them or to my colleagues I stepped out of my car and they all fell to the soaking wet ground (it was pouring down at the time)
Luckily they're of very high quality and still intact 😊

The railway service in Sydney is called CityRail.

Fuck CityRail!

It's so unreliable that service disruption is to be expected when the weather is too hot, too cold, too wet, or too dry. If it rains, some services will be cancelled while the rest face delays.

Fuck CityRail!

The rail network is so dilapidated it costs the government millions of dollars each year for maintenance, despite charging a fare that is one of the most expensive.

Fuck CityRail!

Now I'm typing this because I've be stuck on this train for the last hour and there little hope for me to reach home before fucking MIDNIGHT!

FUCK CITYRAIL!

They initially offered replacement service but later retracted.

Fuck CityRail!

Can we just take a minute to recognize that clicking on the uninstall button in Windows 10 not actually uninstalling the app and instead opening an uninstall program page, where I need to look up the app again and it sometimes may not even be registered there, is one of the most fucking retarded as fuck piece of shit design decisions in the history of programming design?

How fucking hard is it to just trigger the uninstall for the fucking app? Why the fuck is there an uninstall option in the first place you wet waffle of a designer.

I am living my dream.

I have a nice fam, enough capital, a job I enjoy, I'm enjoying the life in this world every day now. And yesterday I caught myself in a moment that 10 years ago I thought only happens in movies. An engineer participating in a meeting with the client while riding on a motorcycle.

I mean, how cool is that! It may not seem like much now, because it was a necessity - I had to be at 2 places at once. But a 10 years younger me would wet his pants if he knew I would one day be doing that IRL.

How about you? How would a 10 years younger you feel about the _now_ you?

Fuck I wish I knew what to do about low motivation!!! I have some ideas I think are really great, some that might be profitable, and fuck I just don’t do any of them. I spend more time panicking about what to do than anything else. But damn so much time wasted when I just needed a little guidance or a little planning or a little like less than $100 more money. That frustrates me to no end.

There’s so much bullshit to everything. This does follow up to my wk106 rant, where I’m trying to rationalize the tons of code that are behind the smallest features. How many thousands of builds go into a deploy. Just swallowing how much rite in software.

I feel like a failure at my job at times but what sucks is I’m just in the middle. Not the most experienced dev, not the least. I’ve got my feet wet in a number of things, but not a solid enough stack for a lot.

BUT SOMEHOW I GOTTA BE MOTIVATED TO LEARN. FFS I CAN DO BETTER BUT MY INSIDE IS BROKEN SOMETIMES AND I JUST WANK OFF FUCK GET IT TOGETHER.

Yea, I fight with myself a lot. I have a big ego and I’m a piece of shit at the same time. Idk. That is annoying too. If only I could get really motivated and focused on some of these projects I could do amazing things. I’ve never struggled with a subject I applied myself to. I just wasn’t motivated. I don’t know how to fix it and I wish I did. I also don’t know what the end game for me holds.

This whole complex really scares me for later life. I will have regrets because my mind builds impossible plans for good, but if I achieve any of it I WILL THINK damn I should have not dealt with this and done x. Like I could make world peace but be like damn coulda rebuilt cars or some stupid shit.

So I’ll conclude with that I’ve done a lot of jobs around the house, and yes working with drywall sucks. So sometimes I’ll think about that. But damn. That doesn’t last because I know I can do it well if I apply myself.

All this leads to getting overextended which is another huge motivation killer. I’m trying to learn self control and focus. But also I need small victories along the way. Very annoying.

Well at least I was motivated to finish this rant. I have a few weekly rants I wanted to participate in but couldn’t even find the motivation for that. There was a toxic person in my life then and I’m slowly getting back to normal but I know that even normal me struggles with motivation. Plus that toxic person was my friend and I’ve lost a lot of (long term) friends recently and that is a real drag. But they needed to go. But I wish they had just shut up sometimes then they wouldn’t have been so toxic. But I digress.

I know I have so many ideas I can’t do them all even if I am motivated and for some time is of the essence.

So look out for some collabs. And grab that motivation wherever you can find it.

Some like it WET
Others like it DRY
But I don't care - I just like to KISS it

!dev

Re-watching old episodes of mythbusters. S2E1, they test "better to walk or run in the rain"

Their method totally pissed me off.

They had cotton suits on their body and measured the weight difference before and after.

Except the cotton suits DIDN'T GO ON THEIR HEAD.

Where is most of the rain going to fall when walking slowly and the water source is directly above your head? Head and shoulders.

So of course their findings were that you got more wet when running, as some of the water got on their belly instead of their head.

Can't find anyone talking about it online so had to rant about it here. So fucking stupid

It's pouring cats and dogs in Mumbai since a week. For the uninitiated, these are regular monsoon rains for the costal city.

And some motherfucker stole my umbrella from the office.

Thankfully when I left, rains had halted and I was able to commute home without getting wet.

Tomorrow when the fucker gets it back, I am gonna make them stand in rain for an hour.

sAleSfoRce aPEx is a hot wet garbage fire. How can I make this actually make this work right when I need to compare case sensitive strings?

Eyes are wet ..heart is broken ..
not because of love..
When someone tell your code is not good
it hurts deep inside when programming is your passion :(

When you finish a great meeting with some clients on a super hot summer day and everybody rise from their chairs but there's a wet stain on all the dark plastic seats that everybody try to cover for.

rant?
When you want to write the unit test that demonstrates a subtle bug, but before recreating the same preconditions you end up writing 15 other tests, testing a lot of other stuff too, that in turn show other bugs, and skyrocketing the coverage (that was sitting at 0% actually).
Like I wanted to repair a hole in my umbrella to not get wet, and built a house instead.

Female lead PM told me to another field to a already overcrowded screen, I slipped out the phrase: "Another one? It's already tighter than a Virgin just not as wet...."

Guess I just figured out why I didn't get a raise this year.

Product Owner.
Not Product Liaison.
Not Product Buddy.
Not Product Suggester.

Own it. Bend it to your will. Make it better or sunset it and build it again. But don’t be a wet noodle and say “I’m just following orders”. You give the orders, you own it.

Here, a full retrospective of my Apple products ownership.

iPhone SE – after Android, I was absolutely amazed by how fast it worked. No UI lags, camera works absolutely instantly no matter the light conditions, all the GPU-heavy games work butter smooth.

After camera and charging port failures on Xperia flagship and CPU literally melting through screen rendering it unusable on Meizu, it was enough to make me interested in Apple products.

When I was using Meizu, I actually got a twitching eye which was triggered by UI lags. After two months of using iPhone, I noticed that something was missing – my eye wasn't twitching anymore.

iPhone actually cured me.

MacBook 12 – a 900 grams laptop with passive-cooled mobile CPU running many Chrome tabs, heavy Webpack HMR build, VSCode and Slack just fine. Yes, you can't play games, but I don't even require it from a laptop this tiny.

Butterfly keyboard that internet hates so much actually increased my typing speed and comfort compared to MX Red mechanical keyboard, and ForceTouch trackpad made me forget about mouse. I learned how to disassemble the Butterfly keyboard if I ever need this but the keyboard never failed.

I use this laptop to this day and it still even smells like the day one, a beautiful smell of a new Apple product.

iPhone X – got it because of the camera, stayed for great battery life and amazing OLED display. I use telephoto lens exclusively and it made me lay off my Canon DSLR with Helios lens which stays on my bookshelf covered in dust to this day.

True black of OLED display which is undistinguishable from the screen bezel is stunning. To this day, battery surely works for one and a half days and I watch youtube really often.

I sometimes struggled to unlock iPhone SE with wet fingers, but with FaceID, as soon as I look at the screen the phone is unlocked. Works perfect every time, never had an issue with this.

Stainless steel body feels premium compared to aluminum. Stereo sound is a major selling point if you're like watching videos and playing games on your phone. Overall amazing product and a huge improvement over SE.

Apple Watch series 4 – really comfortable fit. Nice battery life, once I forgot about it for like ten days during lockdown and it was still working, even though on power reserve mode. Really reliable in terms of battery life and liquid protection. Very satisfying Taptic Engine crown clicks. I run every day and Apple watch always measure my heart rate correctly, and the running app is well designed and a pleasure to use. Overall a nice accessory to have if you use iPhone.

Powerbeats Pro – great sound and battery life. I switched from Shure SE215 which was great, but it had wires. I listen to a lot of music so the sound quality is important for me. When I was choosing earphones I visited a store where you can listen to them all. I listened through earphones like Noble Audio Kaiser Encore and JH Audio Layla, and of course $4000 Laylas sound better than $249 bluetooth earphones, but the difference in sound doesn't justify the difference in price to me.

Powerbeats pro is the Apple H1 chip true wireless earphones with largest driver of them all which makes them sound better than AirPods Pro – it's just physics. Bass in Powerbeats is amazing, which is also true for my Shures, but Powerbeats also win in clarity.

It connects seamlessly to both my MacBook and my iPhone, and everyone in voice chats can hear me really good.

Huge case is a major throwback compared to AirPods, but the battery life of earphones themselves is so great that I just leave the case at home and only carry earphones and it works for me.

Apple Link bracelet in space black – really better than I expected. Intricate detailing, literally the steel that Rolex uses, top-notch finishing and polishing – all that for just 450 dollars. I only used it for several days now, but it already feels like a really satisfying product.

Before all that I was using Linux. It took a year for elementaryos devs to fix wifi for my laptop. Ubuntu looks and feels ugly. Pop OS felt like garbage. Manjaro was also just that – garbage. KDE Plasma – I don't even want to talk about that. A monstrocity where you accidentally click a wrong switch in the settings and your system won't boot up again. Also, PulseAudio. Struggles with proprietary drivers and software updates.

Windows? I serviced a lot of Windows PCs through my career and it never, never worked as intended. I'm no dumbass, I always managed the rights correctly and never installed sketchy apps. My latest ryzen gaming build with a lot of ram also lags somehow even in Windows 10 UI.

Before I switched, I defended Linux.

My life was a lie.

I'm sorry to everyone who I offended based on their opinion on Linux.

I came across this german platform that provides rest api level access to database without the need of a backend. I’m a frontend developer and the possibilities like a wet dream. Saying bye-bye to Firestore.

My head is hurting and my brain feels cloudy after that nap... but should I get back to it? That is the question.

Edit: Just found that my ears are wet inside. This is an interesting but gross development.

Got the task of researching the upgrade for an angularjs site with 300 components to newest version.
3 days in still no clue how to take on this Problem.

Frustrated af as I have to come with a proposal till Friday

Roof is leaking... Due to rainy stormy weather here, I have now 3 buckets in my flat for catching the water.

Next thing that broke was the faucet in the kitchen... Whoever installed the kitchen (inherited from previous tenant) was a fricking fuck nugget. Not only are most important parts like the stove unbalanced (cooking is very fun...) - but most things were wrongly installed.

The rubber band under the faucet was a few mm larger than the faucet itself... Stretched out as someone really tightened the screws... Too tight. Friction tore the rubber band on one side. Note that the faucet is one of the large, pompous ones which weigh a fuckton. So the fucking faucet now - as the rubber band tore - turned into a sprinkler as the faucet moves due to water pressure.

Ok. Faucet out, new faucet in. Shouldn't be that hard.

Wait. Wtf?

Turns out they didn't use a milling head... The hole is a cone, top larger - then getting smaller.

Ok. No problem.

Let's do some drill action.

Uhm. Why is the place to the window wet... Oh. Great. Another leak.

*some mopping action*

Back to the kitchen. Realizing I didn't fully close the valve for water -.

Kitchen cabinet, next mopping action.

Water with saw dust is pretty ugly combination -.-

Aka: My relaxing Saturday became a full blown """Fuck you with an anchor""" day instead. Thanks universe. Love you hon. Please, next time put at least some lube on the anchor, entry is quite painful.

>first time working for big tech company
>first couple days with no sudo, cant setup environment :(
>however
>first couple days mostly debating new peers on if water is wet
>verynice.jpg

Thanks @dfox and @trogus for the stickers! Letter got a little wet, but swag is in good shape. I'll definitely use them when I'll buy a new laptop 😀

My company has been looking for a lead app dev for the past three months. I got the news yesterday that they hired one. Which was super unusual because he's leading a team of two people, you'd think myself and the other guy would have been part of the interview process to make sure he matches our personalities and can do what we need him to do since it's a small team we need someone who can perform.

Find out it's the guy who left in January. I'm not sure how I feel about this. He was super fucking disorganized. I had to spend 2 weeks fixing his git issues because he hadn't committed his code for something like 4 months before he left.

He's a nice guy, and usually chasing new trends. But I need someone who I can look up to and who can juggle a bunch of stuff. If you're disorganized I don't think the regular person can handle leading a team of guys.

I've only been at this company for a year and a half, but I keep getting wet feet and nervously looking around. No promotions, a 2% raise. But I also don't want to hop ship because my place before was an ass disaster too and I think I left 2 years in.

Got 'em stickers woohoo! All the way from Philippines. Letter got wet in the rain but the stickers are in good condition. Thanks devRant!

Was hiring a front-end dev once. Job ad was for basic html/css and graphic design skills. Perfect part-time job for intern or high school kid to get their feet wet. Boss sits in on interview and after I asked all the necessary questions related to position, boss starts asking him programming related questions similar to my position. (php, Mysql, apis, managing vps, custom shopping cart code )

Way to drop a bomb on a kid who is potentially interested in working here.

The funny thing is that a lot of stuff feels cool when it's not you doing it. Once you've learned it, done it, it becomes mundane, easy, boring, simple.
All that I have to go on is the memory of my naive self who thought something was cool, before me doing it, and the excitement of the moment, to have done it. After that it feels like boasting to a fireman about putting out a candle with 2 wet fingers.

I just think about it ...
Running docker on windows is shit
Running nginix on windows is boofff
Running apache on windows is boofff
Running WWS on windows is hugly

Install linux
All server software run like king
Don't have access to any adobe product for design and micro$hit office for client sanity because ODF is to special, i want my docx i said ... Like what do you want from me ... Shit the dev setup is a fucking mess because some enterprises don't want to wet itself in the futur...

Microsoft love linux BULLSHIT

I don't know if this is a joke or a miracle.
I was pooping myself on a toilet, and beside me was a bucket of water, then there was a mosquito in my palm where I held my phone. after I snap it, I accidentally threw my phone at the bucket of water.

First and foremost. It's not a water-proof phone, so don't expect that I'm rich. I immediately grab it and it's so wet.

After a while, it gets a lot of touch bug and plugged in headset which is full of water in it.

tried to wash it after I'm done pooping. shut the phone and wait until it's all dry.

After that, my phone went to teamwip(bootloader) telling me that the custom OS is missing.

After some coding, I checked my phone and it's all normal now.

Lesson Learned: never shit when you have a phone with you.

Does anyone else here feel that TailwindCSS is ugly?
Like, I cant pinpoint it, but no matter who uses it and how, even their homepage, it lacks "something"

It doesnt make my heart flutter ya know, the way MDL2 or Fluent Design or even Google's Material3 can to some extend where I want to make something out of it

tailwind feels like licking wet paper

"Your code is so WET gzip can compress it below .1%"

Trying to get HIPPA compliance, and wet have to put full disk encryption and anti virus software on all our servers...

All of our servers are on aws ec2 / eks. The instances we do control aren't big enough for anti virus to be running...

God help me now

See a stupid neme, trying to get my feet wet in android development, make a "sound board" with 1 buttton that plays 1 sound

> mfw Skiddadle skidoodle is my most successful app with 30 ish concurrent users

Soldmysoul.jpeg for the memes

First time getting my hands wet with docker. Ended up fully containerizing my company's project. Never been more proud of miself.

I'm sick of hearing the guy in the office just down the hall fart with his door open.

I dunno... Is that too much to ask for?

It's really not socially acceptable to run into you office, urgently, not shit the door, and let a wet one rip.

Edit: And also, can you dial not on speaker phone. Max volume.

Favourite snack/dessert?

GO!

[mine are cookies (the ones without aluminium) and wet pies]

Freemium „FOSS“ nowadays:
Release notes of major version!
Major changes: one thing
Minor changes: 3 things

Thanks to @X for contributing major change
Thanks to @y @z @aa for the three minor things.
Here’s a wet handshake.

Now click this button to see which features we‘re taking away from you for not paying us you fucking beggar!

Hand sanitizers, wet wipes, basic hygiene standards. Nothing much yet.

Trains here are eerily silent though.

Walking home from work gracefully,
minding my own business.

Swinging my umbrella gracefully,
With a slight crack of a grin on my face.

THEN THIS DUDE TRIES TO TAKE MY PHONE OUT OF MY POCKET! Non-gracefully!

Fuck poetic Justice, he ruined my happy thoughts,
I was planning an authentication decorator for a project am in love with
And the code was beautiful.

The phone fell on a wet footpath in the struggle,
Now my umbrella has mud on it!

So pissed!

Not really programming related other than it has to do with my work.

Why in God's name are the trains in the Netherlands so annoying, Autumn started what 4 days ago? And both the Friday and Monday I have had delays or just trains that refuse to drive... Probably because there is a single wet leaf of the railroad... Oh no! We wouldn't want to slip WITH A TRAIN

Does anyone know of a way to have multiple servo motors run simultaneously (Arduino)

I'll monitor our helpdesk ticket system from time-to-time and HR will send their employee termination request so the accounts are deactivated. I notice an odd name I hadn't seen in a long while (names have been changed)

<thought bubble> "Ketsup? Hmmm...wonder if they're related to ol' Brad Ketsup?"

Brad was a bully who would shove me in the bathroom when I would pee so I would tip over and hit the urinal. He was part of pack of older bullies who enjoyed torturing people in the stalls by throwing wet paper towels over the wall or one time in my case, busted the door open (Brad: "Look everybody! PaperTrail is pooping! Look at his little pee-pee...ha ha ha..") Incidentally, the school didn't fix the door, they removed all the doors so the problem wouldn't happen again, but I digress.

I look at the individual's pic, and it was like going back in time. There he was, the near perfect round face, pinned back ears...not Brad, but I'd bet my paycheck at Vegas it was his son. All the vent up frustrations started to bubble up...then...sadness.

Brad moved away in high school and unless the good Lord moved mountains in Brad's life, this poor kid likely lived the same abusive life as Brad. Brad's dad was a drunk and known to be abusive. Statistically speaking, no reason to believe the the apple wouldn't fall far from the tree.

Makes me wonder what happened to all those guys from back then. I know two of em' ended up in prison, but I wonder what I would say if I came across any of them in the wild?

I'm sure most of you had perfect lives growing up and no feelings of mass carnage when you think of the bullies in your early life.

As my apt renovation is nearly completed it's time to get all the cool toys. And that's where I need your ideas :)

what should I get? What techie-stuff would you think is worth considering?

I for one have wet dreams about vacuuming robots. Not a roomba ofc [bcz it ties to Apple], smth else. I get that an opensource robot would be a pipe dream, but I'd love smth I could control via bash scripts [prolly via lan] at least. Some api would be nice :) . Any advices here? Cleaning quality should be way above 'okay'.

Have you thought that in case of apocalypse say EMP burst or anything huge enough hit our wet rock which lead to global & long power outage, our kind along electricians will be a valuable assets for any survival group. if 2 better, but if they are 3+ one will proclaim himself as PM and the chaos will be uneashed again ;}

When u shit do u put toilet paper on the water in the middle? I do it my whole life. If i dont put it then the shit splashes and water comes straight into my asshole (inside literally) and makes my rectum wet. Thats why putting toilet paper slows down the inertia of shit fall according to the laws of physics i studied in college. Never thought learning something in school was gonna be useful but only for shitting big shits. No wonder why degree is worth less than a shit and no one cares about it

Not dev related so don't shoot me. If you like writing I figure you maybe might enjoy this and thought I'd share.

This is a section from an unfinished novel about 2050s America, set in a corporate subsidized mega-fevela sprawling across washington state, ruled by gangs and patrolled by the officers of a bankrupt nation suffering through austerity and on-and-off again spasms of mass civil conflict.

"Averice - Sex, drugs, and vice, in the downfall and dying days of america."

we lived in a smoke government, where everything was bullshit they blew up your ass so you could continue make believe while
you were bent over with your head in the hole in the ground you mistook for your ass to start with. And if you questioned it all, one bit, the mouth organ of the state would command
hate upon you, like an old latin curse, with a lexicon armada of phrases like "terrorist", and "troubled individual" to character assassinate you by drowning you in the humbling river of societies mass delusion giver, those two sweet letters "TV."

No, we were on the industry edge here, inventing better bait to catch what the state politiburo labelled 'bandits', all for what?

It had, in later years become fashionable to call those who didn't want to be stolen from any more, projected as it were, "thieves", in the same fashion as those in the middle east, defending
their homeland from foreigners, were labelled "insurgents." Tyranny had not so long ago grown a sense of irony it would seem.

And if you became enemy number one of the state, as thousands were, you would spend your days on the run, always looking over your
shoulder for the states vanish vans--black escalades with men in dark suits and mirrored glasses, like bugmen with shiny inhuman, and inscrutable eyes full of alien malice.

These were sordid summers, full of plastic playhouses where the cost of a days wages you could lay with a synthetic lover and pay away the days tense tax for a good lay, and forget your toils and troubles. And so many were kept in poverty because of easy habit and routine that they forget they were not living.

But for me, I had none of it. I preferred the troubled thing on the corner when I could coax one into my state issued sedan. She was sulky, with bright blonde curls, 19, maybe 20, with empty eyes, as if watching some invisible horizon. And in the glow of the blue neon, among the wet sidewalks, and trash, she leaned into my car. No words were exchanged. I nodded, and
she got into the car, a miniskirt, and slinky little handbag.

This was no more than state business with a bureau guy like me, and for her, little more than the prison trade taken public.

She huffed some powder and climbed spraddle leg onto my lap, grabbing me along my jawline, eyes locked onto the depths of my soul, and
for the next ten minutes as she moved on top of me, I was motionless property while my lusts became animal, and she, my cream cup.

After, I arrested her to the standard protests, but she new the game and quickly hushed. This was the verdant arithmetic of the state. I was awarded x amount of pension points for every criminal, no matter how, and it was no gentle hand, not the judge, not the jury, or the executioner of their will. It was the rigid touch of a long arm, dislocated from the law, and now, like frankenstein's monster, cobbled onto the mechanism of the state not unlike the manner of a combine harvester.

We were the owners of all by virtue of all we could take, and we took all we could get. The serial romeos of state police power, romancing
the unwilling citizenry with televised patriotism and five minute power talks at the beginning of the corporate day.

It could be paradise or a wasteland if we wanted it to be. And for a time it was.

Edit: devrant always breaks my formatting. sigh.

Does anyone know how to make a custom rom (android)

I was sober from the last ten days and just now I lost my soberity. I accidently opened the whatsup. may be wet fingures and sticky screen to blame.

I have a wet dream:
Being armed with a spiked bat in a closed room with angular team.

Either this or see them slowly die of cancer day by day and chuckle in front of their death bed eating chips and watching netflix to not get too bored meanwhile.

I transitioned from js to c# about 4 weeks ago for my first job in the industry. It has been a really rough 3 weeks for someone who hasn't had any OOP experience. I've been trying really hard to ramp up, but I'm having a really hard time wrapping my head around some of the advance c# topics (e.g. interface, extension methods, etc.) Does anyone have good resources or advice to help me get my feet wet?

While fucking my hot blonde gf this morning the Fucking DUREX condom BROKE and i creampied her. Here are the reasons why its not my fault:

1--Im not retarded

- 4 years of fcking my hot blonde gf with no protection and nothing ever happened cos im !retarded. Its a bigger risk to fuck with condom than without, how is this fucking normal???

2--I use condom the right way

- i was holding the tip so air comes out, just like it was explained on the box, but while rolling it down i was still holding the tip to make sure the air doesnt come back up

3--She was wet

- she wasnt dry. My hot blonde gfs pussy was so wet from how horny she was so its impossible that it got torn due to dryness

4--First verification

- it wasnt torn or ripped. It was normal. Everything looked absolutely fine

5--Second verification

- when i put it inside my hot blonde gf and fk her i pull it out in the first 10 seconds just to make sure it isnt torn--it was good and nothing was ripped so i slowly put it back inside

6--Condom is not thin

- i took the regular durex one (fuck this fucking dead fraud company I'll piss and shit on their grave) so it wasnt the thin bullshit one

7--Dont got a big black dick

- its normal. Average. Not small nor big. So latex elasticity isn't my problem

8--50-50%

- every FUcking time when i fked my hot blonde gf with a condom i always stressed if it'll break or not. This is not the first time it broke. FUCK the product that is THIS MUCH unreliable, unsafe and fragile! I'll fuck the whole durex company up. Im not the only one who had this problem. DUREX IS THE BIGGEST OVERRATED SCAM COMPANY SPENDING BILLIONS ON MARKETING FOR A LOW QUALITY SHIT PRODUCT THAT DOESNT EVEN WORK

9--Package didnt expire

- i bought a new box in the store on 8th march for womens day (modern women value having gifted with condoms more than flowers). It wasnt bought in a shit china quality shop. I fked her in the car at night and also creampied her but the condom did NOT break. Then i fked her this morning in bed with condom from the SAME BOX, and now it DID break. Are you Fucking kidding me???

10--Emergency contraception

- i died from high adrenaline of running so fast to the store to buy her contraception. Had to run to 4 fucking stores cause all of them don't work before 7:30am. Finally found one in the 4th store and she drank Escapelle within 20 minutes of incident, as soon as it was physically possible

11--And now what

- now what. What do i do. I did everything i could. Nothing is my fault. My hot blonde gf wanted me to creampied her it was her idea so shes at fault partially. She will get tested in 15 days while this contraception lasts. Dont know what else to try. This bullshit never happened before

I'm so fed up with Codecademy. I payed for the pro, and I admit I haven't been able to consistently use it everyday as I would like. But every fucking time I would be on a lecture of some sort, I swear to fucking to christ it's the most buggy, uninformative piece of shit! And everytime you're in deep into subjects, the information is beyond unclear!

AND GOD FORBID YOU NEED A FUCKING HINT! they leave you to dry saying in the hint that "Look back at the previous sections" or "try to remember the steps you've learned"

No you stupid fucking bitch for a site. I clicked on the hint because I needed an answer as to what I'm doing wrong, and to something that can stir me in the right path. My god....I feel so stupid for giving PRO a chance. I thought maybe it would be nice to have some sort of professional site would be useful.

I swear this early afternoon I was spending fucking forever on the first few lectures of HTML trying to figure out what the actual fuck is wrong with the system fucking up not letting me change directories. And the community was no help whatsoever to the issues at hand.

Again, why the fuck is Codecademy so goddamn buggy!? Sure it may be a fun site to fuck around with to get your feet wet on the free version. But is it too much to ask for some good actual lessons that are being payed for!?

Idk anymore. I'm sticking to just YouTube and other free help. This is the last time I spend a fucking penny to any site that's supposed to teach something valuable.

I feel so upset because I feel like I wasted my money and time on something that I thought could've helped a lot.

If anyone was asking if PRO is worth it....definitely not! Please don't waste money with it! Don't make my mistakes, stick to YouTube and other free sources! The least I can do is warn people about spending money on this site. Trust me it's not worth it. It may not seem bad in the beginning, but once you go deeper it becomes clear the issues.

If anything stick to only free!!

I'm a self taught web developer, I know I can develop great apps, but my code doesn't feel structured... It gets messier as I add more features, and this makes it harder to develop and keep track of everything.

How can I improve this, are there any processes to follow?

systemd needs to get rekt

Guys I am looking to get my "feet wet" in Android Apps. Can you maybe drop a comment on any suggestions... Like IDE to use or any advise you have thnx.

I remember that wet-carpeted half-abandoned office floor. Future was sitting there on top of a pile of SSDs, trashing local government.

“Wet code”

Code that contains as many duplicates as possible.

Hello to everybody. I used to be on this site like every day. I rejoined data lounge after accepting that everybody there gets their arses flamed and it's like initiation. But they're still mean.

I hope we are collectively not losing our fucking minds with this shite virus. I am uneasy. Something's not adding up.

I haven't felt this way for over 50 years, and that was during America's pig headed remaining in Vietnam rather than pulling out and letting Red China just fucking eat North Vietnam as a snack.

I've never had a sense that I don't know where things are going. And that those who should be able to tell us something are fucked up firecrackers with wet diapers.

Whilst I've never been overly fond of humans to begin with, I can only wait and see how long it takes for reason to prevail.

Peace out.

Jonno

DevOps With Ruby and Chef on FreeBSD (and Linux)

I am Ops and Dev by heart. I have always automated *nix systems long before any automation framework was invented because I am pretty lazy. Doing stuff more than once manually is just one time too often for me. Imho Ruby is a really elegant language. The same applies for the tools that are built around it. The Chef ecosystem fits into this with its own elegance and stability perfectly because the server is Erlang driven and the rest is Ruby.
Being a Linux and BSD user since the early 90s I have always loved a *nix system for it's concepts and simplicity. One command for exactly one purpose and everything is combineable like letters are combinable to words in my mother language. I have always loved FreeBSD more though. Imho it is even more focused on simplicity. Because it is a really clean approach of system design that envies a base system and keeps 3rd party separated in a clean way for example. It also values classic UNIX philosophies that most Linux distros these days abandon but which saved my life multiple times through better design and execution that also focuses alot more on stability, fault tolerance and ease of use than any Linux I have come across. The hardcore guys should read "Design and Implementation of the FreeBSD Operating System", compare the readings to the Linux way of things and see for themselves.*

*The author acknowledges that this text is his opinion and just his wet dream alone and may not be of any relevance for the sexual lifes of everybody else

Nothin to get a rant simmering like reFuckingRanting! All good, I'll have another shooter while I wait to reinstall, reconfig, rebuild, rewipe, and reRefuse any and all Windows clammy hand of aid it forces down my soul. One of these days, when the whole realm understands we don't need this vast array of exactly the same shit but this one's dick is a little bigger so lets fucking make it, this and not that, and rebuild, push the update, need 4 more updates by noon next day. Nothing stays stable team green, NOTHING. Fuck anyone trying to actually ...make something..We got vulns and updates, backdates, and breaking changes on all 58 of our same shit production line shit shows. I can't count one time in this few year pain olympics that in a single 8 hour span of time the same shit that was working like a fucking wet glove in a horses ass at whiskey 1 was NOT fucking anywhere near coherent come whiskey not 1. Just sayin, is this a cock show boys? Or is is just a wild and rambunctious thought to maybe start compiling/combining some key role playing pieces of softwar? If not, I'll just prep for another round of fucks, and carry on. Sadly, this shit is addicting against many odds. Enjoy your lunches

6 hours of manually testing a new library will save you 5 min of reading the documentation for sure!

I want to develop a Web App for fun, but can't quite get my mind set on something interesting.

Any app suggestions I could try to make?

--This just for training purposes.

meecrob (mic' rob):
‘meecrob’ is a curse word that is far worse than ‘sh-t’. It is that stuff you get as an appetizer at Thai food restaurant. It tastes way grosser than shit.

The knights of standards and practices (the royal order of standards and practices) prevent this word and other ‘words of curse’ from being over-used. if a curse-word is spoken too much, gelden (the monster) will rise and destroy the earth.

mekrob is one of the worst of these words and is hated by GOD, as much as it is by Eric cartman.

E.g:
1. Eric cartman would scarf down a wet bucket full of shit before he ate another plate of meecrob.

Fans: please raise your hands.

Azure DevOps Bash script task hangs for no reason. This will be in my dreams tonight.

(That and I spilled water all over my trousers in the office today)

How to add a sense of freshness in bed How to create a sense of freshness in bed for couples

Licking lips

The mouth of a woman is also a mysterious place for a man. When she likes someone, she always wants to kiss her. Kissing is the first step for two people to express their feelings. The mouth is also an important part of the five senses. The unintentional licking action of a woman is very cute in the eyes of a man. Men can't help but want to kiss you, and their wet lips will look delicate and beautiful.

Yes, I'm that sucker who writes by hand the copy paste code fields even if he already knows how to do that. I'm not proud of it but, what can I say? I'm a wet guy...

I was shitting. Shit drops from my asshole and then out of nowhere SPLASHHHHHH my asshole ass and balls got wet from the huge nagasaki nuclear bomb impact. Thank God it's not diarrhea. Otherwise it would be tuff to clean it. Now i just clean the water off my balls with toilet paper. I'm always in a shitty situation!