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Hey everyone,
First off, a Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates, happy holidays to everyone, and happy almost-new-year!
Tim and I are very happy with the year devRant has had, and thinking back, there are a lot of 2017 highlights to recap. Here are just a few of the ones that come to mind (this list is not exhaustive and I'm definitley forgetting stuff!):
- We introduced the devRant supporter program (devRant++)! (https://devrant.com/rants/638594/...). Thank you so much to everyone who has embraced devRant++! This program has helped us significantly and it's made it possible for us to mantain our current infrustructure and not have to cut down on servers/sacrifice app performance and stability.
- We added avatar pets (https://devrant.com/rants/455860/...)
- We finally got the domain devrant.com thanks to @wiardvanrij (https://devrant.com/rants/938509/...)
- The first international devRant meetup (Dutch) with organized by @linuxxx and was a huge success (https://devrant.com/rants/937319/... + https://devrant.com/rants/935713/...)
- We reached 50,000 downloads on Android (https://devrant.com/rants/728421/...)
- We introduced notif tabs (https://devrant.com/rants/1037456/...), which make it easy to filter your in-app notifications by type
- @AlexDeLarge became the first devRant user to hit 50,000++ (https://devrant.com/rants/885432/...), and @linuxxx became the first to hit 75,000++
- We made an April Fools joke that got a lot of people mad at us and hopefully got some laughs too (https://devrant.com/rants/506740/...)
- We launched devDucks!! (https://devducks.com)
- We got rid of the drawer menu in our mobile apps and switched to a tab layout
- We added the ability to subscribe to any user's rants (https://devrant.com/rants/538170/...)
- Introduced the post type selector (https://devrant.com/rants/850978/...) (which will be used for filtering - more details below)
- Started a bug/feature tracker GitHub repo (https://github.com/devRant/devRant)
- We did our first ever live stream (https://youtube.com/watch/...)
- Added an awesome all-black theme (devRant++) (https://devrant.com/rants/850978/...)
- We created an "active discussions" screen within the app so you can easily find rants with booming discussions!
- Thanks to the suggestion of many community members, we added "scroll to bottom" functionality to rants with long comment threads to make those rants more usable
- We improved our app stability and set our personal record for uptime, and we also cut request times in half with some database cluster upgrades
- Awesome new community projects: https://devrant.com/projects (more will be added to the list soon, sorry for the delay!)
- A new landing page for web (https://devrant.com), that was the first phase of our web overhaul coming soon (see below)
Even after all of this stuff, Tim and I both know there is a ton of work to do going forward and we want to continue to make devRant as good as it can be. We rely on your feedback to make that happen and we encourage everyone to keep submitting and discussing ideas in the bug/feature tracker (https://github.com/devRant/devRant).
We only have a little bit of the roadmap right now, but here's some things 2018 will bring:
- A brand new devRant web app: we've heard the feedback loud and clear. This is our top priority right now, and we're happy to say the completely redesigned/overhauled devRant web experience is almost done and will be released in early 2018. We think everyone will really like it.
- Functionality to filter rants by type: this feature was always planned since we introduced notif types, and it will soon be implemented. The notif type filter will allow you to select the types of rants you want to see for any of the sorting methods.
- App stability and usability: we want to dedicate a little time to making sure we don't forget to fix some long-standing bugs with our iOS/Android apps. This includes UI issues, push notification problems on Android, any many other small but annoying problems. We know the stability and usability of devRant is very important to the community, so it's important for us to give it the attention it deserves.
- Improved profiles/avatars: we can't reveal a ton here yet, but we've got some pretty cool ideas that we think everyone will enjoy.
- Private messaging: we think a PM system can add a lot to the app and make it much more intuitive to reach out to people privately. However, Tim and I believe in only launching carefully developed features, so rest assured that a lot of thought will be going into the system to maximize privacy, provide settings that make it easy to turn off, and provide security features that make it very difficult for abuse to take place. We're also open to any ideas here, so just let us know what you might be thinking.
There will be many more additions, but those are just a few we have in mind right now.
We've had a great year, and we really can't thank every member of the devRant community enough. We've always gotten amazingly positive feedback from the community, and we really do appreciate it. One of the most awesome things is when some compliments the kindness of the devRant community itself, which we hear a lot. It really is such a welcoming community and we love seeing devs of all kind and geographic locations welcomed with open arms.
2018 will be an important year for devRant as we continue to grow and we will need to continue the momentum. We think the ideas we have right now and the ones that will come from community feedback going forward will allow us to make this a big year and continue to improve the devRant community.
Thanks everyone, and thanks for your amazing contributions to the devRant community!
Looking forward to 2018,
- David and Tim
48 -
1: Get a dog
2: Name dog Sudo
3: Teach Sudo to fetch my mail
4: Invite Linux-friend over
5: Yell "sudo fetchmail"
6: ?
7: Profit20 -
Introducing avatar pets & a new way to unlock avatar items! Pets include cats, dogs, birds and tigers. We know getting all those ++'s can take some time, so while all avatar items are just as reachable for free by earning ++'s from rants and comments, we now allow items to be purchased in-app based on the difference in ++'s you have to the ++ unlock value of the item. (To purchase, you'll need the latest app version)
Paying for avatar items helps us keep the devRant servers up and running and also is extra motivation to add more fun avatar items. If you have any questions or find a bug, please let me or @dfox know. Happy ranting!
38 -
Replace the teachers with no real world experience with part-time workers that are still active in IT.
I had this last year in my final year of vocational education and it was amazing, I had two teachers running their business two days a week and teaching us everything on the three remaining days.
I learnt about oop without dogs and cats, I learnt to extract information from invoices to be able to create an invoicing system without being misled by customers, and much more.
Second thing would also be something we did in my previous education. It was called "learning productively".
Basically, companies would give a project to the school and students could pick one to do for a few months. You had to have meetings with the customer, you had to give presentations and it wasn't another fucking calculator.
I've had the pleasure of working with a big corporation like this and learnt a ton in my first year.
These were extremely valuable, I think I'd still be a piece of shit developer without any knowledge on how to actually develop a full system and how to manage a project as a dev.
Peace6 -
If you disrupt my working flow and you're not
1) On fire.
2) About to explode.
3) You're dog is dead(dogs are the shit)
4) Snoop dog is in the building
Then you're a cunt.19 -
I hope everyone at Microsoft working on Windows 10 dies a horrible death and gets eaten by dogs. FUCK YOU windows!
I have a dual boot machine, logged into windows after a while(months) . Fucker 5 hours to update. Now that it's updated, I did the task I had to do and shifted back to Linux. Now all my other drives, which I didn't so much as touch with windows are fucking read only for some reason!
2 fucking hours spent on trying to find the problem, now I realize thag that after the fuckmaster's update, They reset all my settings and the dicklickin Fast Startup was on again!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHITTY WINDOWS TEAM MICROSOFT! CAN'T EVEN PERSIST USER SETTINGS DURING AN UPDATE THEN HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL ME "ALL YOUR FILES ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU LEFT THEM".
Dear head engineer at windows team, or product manager, or whoever the fuck is in charge of this shit, JUMP UP YOUR OWN ASS AND DIE WITH A DILDO IN YOUR MOUTH YOU DIPSHIT!19 -
New rant = Rant.type(['non-dev', 'public transportation']).init()
So i am taking the bus now to see a friend, and this fucking whale woman comes on board with a baby caddy, except, it wasn't for a baby, but for a fucking dog the size of a brick. That already in itself makes me grumble because dogs have fucking legs and there is no fucking real need to carry them around like newborns.... Anyways this woman sits and takes up a lot of space for the 'handicapped' persons for her fucking baby dog... So far no real issue there since people with disabilities hardly get on this bus line. A fzw bus stops later an equally whale black woman gets on the bus, obviously struggling with her size and her caddy filled with groceries...
There is enough room to accomodate the baby caddy and her groceries.
That fucking white whale says to her 'there is no room there, move someplace else'... The black woman stands there in disbelief, and this is the first time i look up, giving the 'the fuck you just say bitch' look to the white whale. I mention there is enough room and the black whale sits carefully next to the dog caddy.
Now the bus takes a sharp turn, the dog caddy tips over due to the g-forces it causes...and inmediately this white whale shouts to the black whale 'fucking retard, don't tip my dog over!' this while the black woman apologises for the fall of the caddy not even being her fault...
This angered me so puch that i rantzd to this woman: 'madam, thzre is such a thing called physics, the bus made a sharp turn and your stupud useless space-wasting dog caddy tipped over bzcause of that. Don't just go accusing people for your own degenerate racist lifestyle. I suggest you hold on to it and apologise to the lady'
She then murmles incomprehensibly and gives a butthurt look, rhe black woman thanks me and tries to remain very quiet on her seat, eventually she gets off
This fucking thing makes me angry to a level i wanna toeturz that whale by peeling off her skin with garden fence metal wiri g, suck the fat out of her body and brain with an industrial vacuum cleaner and put her in the fucking oven baking in her own fat, of course without any anesthetics...
Damnit all to hell!
Also, why on earth do dogs need caddy's? They got perfectly fine legs!
I know, sadist inside11 -
So... some guy at the company I work for complains to software dept that we've broken his app.
He's saying we've removed the drop down list from this field he uses....
We're all like... there's never been a drop down list there?!
it escalates and some big-dogs get involved. One of us has to go out and see him. Turns out the "drop down list" was his browsers saved autocomplete history, and he had changed browsers.
Asshole.2 -
Today is a sad day.
A sad day indeed.
I used to live with my parents for pretty much my whole life until the beginning of this year, when I decided to move and starter living with a friend, in his apartment.
By far, one of the things that I've missed most from my parents' house was the dogs. Boy, I love those four pretty little creatures.
Being a fulltime developer in an area that I honestly don't like that much, I really appreciate my after-work hours. Specially because of the time I could spend with the dogs.
So, the first months away were quite hard. Even though I was living with a friend, I couldn't help but feel alone and really depressed at times.
But then, my friend and my girlfriend decided that it was a nice idea to give me something to grow with again. And Jolyne, my beautiful, smart and messy little dog came to the apartment.
Boy oh boy, my bright days were back.
Getting home and seeing those four small legs and a shaking tail running on my direction was everything I could ask for. I was happy again.
Fast-forward to today.
I finally finished the code for a project I was working on. Everything was working fine. A good day indeed, good sir. Have one on me. - then my friend called me, which is weird considering we almost only talk through Telegram during the day.
All he had to say, with a sad voice and painful tone, was "man... I don't know how to tell you this... But Jolyne is dead".
And that was it. Every good feeling I had was now dead. And a part of me as well.
I stood there, speechless. I mean, I just couldn't believe what I've just heard. She was happy by the morning. We were playing before I left for work. Everything was fine.
Then, four hours later, it wasn't. She was gone.
I came home to a friend that didn't have any more tears to shed. And no dog came running to me like usual.
My fluffy little friend was laying on her bed, like she was sleeping normally. Like nothing had happened at all. She was just sleeping and have not noticed me... At least that was what I wanted to believe.
Three hours had passed then... And I just can't fathom the fact that my dog won't be here anymore. That I won't be able to play with her again like I do every night. That I won't listen to her running around with her toys. That I won't be able to hug her anymore.
I still don't know what to do. I mean, she will be buried. I've already arranged everything.
But I don't know what to do about myself. I don't know how to deal with this pain I'm feeling.
But I will try to move on... I just don't know how.
I'm deeply sorry for bringing you this story. For just writing it down here, like you guys need to share my pain...
But I needed to write this down somewhere. And this place is pretty much the only one where I feel comfortable and welcome enough to do this.
Thank you for your time, my friends.
Thank you.27 -
That moment when my boss and I were having a conversation (2 weeks into my new job) and she tells me her daughters name is "Amber" and I jump up with, "oh snap!! That's my dogs name too!!" 😑4
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Somehow, the company I work for has decided it is ok for people to have their dogs in the office.
One of the dogs is such a sissy, cries and make stupid noises - I has been so for many many month.
Yesterday, when we had our asses full of stuff to do. The dog decided that it really have to take a dump inside the office and start barking (more like "veff").
So I turned around, to my other collegue and asked him really loud:
"Should groceries really do that?"
He is asian, he liked the joke. But the owner did not.4 -
Me: I'm gonna be productive today. Will complete this task in one hour!
*starts coding enthusiastically*
After two minutes...
*facebook*
*cat video*
Awwwww
*dog video*
Lol heheh!
*cute kittens n puppies*
Heh, silly cat
*more cats, dogs*
*accidentally notices the time*
Crap! 1.5 hours gone waste....7 -
I had the dream of working as web designer in Berlin.
You know: techno partys, hedonistic lifestyle and cheap living.
I applied and flew over and got some Interviews.
Arrived at the agency situated in a beautiful broad avenue in a villa at the Olympia Stadion. I was greeted by 2 loud small dogs and nobody else was there. So i waited an half an hour.. and another one...
I notice their company code of conduct nicely framed on the wall. You know what is written on the first place?
"We value peoples time therefore we're punctual."
"We are cosequent"
So after two hours waiting they came. They were pretty stressed out and neded another 45 minutes to get ready to interview me. So they sat at the table telling me excuses. And i pointed at the frame and they suddenly got very bleak in their faces. I stood up and left after 3 hours of waiting. 😆
Sadly no Berlin for me.
13 -
I played a lot of Command & Conquer when I was younger, and I remember going through the files for C&C: Red Alert. I found one that had all the units names and properties, and wondered what happened if I changed a value. So I changed grenadiers attack speed to something ridiculously fast, and found that it actually changed it in the game!
The light bulb went off in my head, and I then created new units:
- Albert Einstein that shot electricity
- Attack dogs that launched missiles
Granted the animations didn't exist for these so it defaulted to playing their death animations when attacking, which was amusing.
That was the ah-ha moment for me that lead me to pursue programming. It was just so much fun!4 -
These anti AI type news articles are ridiculous. We are decades away from anything like skynet. People have seen too much fiction. Everyone used to dream of flying cars, did that happen? No. Do not be fooled, machines can do clever things but they are no where near becoming sentient beings. You try and build something that has the same IQ of a dog and it will still require a shit ton of power and hardware. Plus as far as I'm aware dogs haven't taken over the planet with their level of intelligence.
At the end of the day machines need power to run and we control the source. If anything futuramas more realistic in how AI/robots will integrate with society than these shit piece newspapers.33 -
Today I visited a partnered company, best summarized as "our people are the best at what they do, although we haven't figured out what it is that we do".
It was fucking awful.
Halfway a presentation about "capitalization on the internet of things" which featured nothing about hardware or protocols at all, a guy stood up and started talking about improvements on ecdsa and schnorr encryption or something... for no apparent reason. Then followed a bunch of pretty slides about the sharing economy... after which the CEO concluded with some vague speech about decentralized management of assets in a globalist world or whatever...
It was like a bunch of pretty smart people all had been locked up in some kind of closet with mirrors on the inside for six months, discussed their best ideas with their own reflections, then immediately grouped up and convinced an investor to fund their startup.
Ugh, I have to wash my ears and eyes with bleach. My brain is flooded with pretentious bullshit buzz and over the top startup decadence.
Actually, I think this sums it up best: There was a framed oil painting of the CEO with his dogs in the conference room, and the bathroom had a large marble Charizard statue watching me pee.8 -
It is with a heavy heart that I said aufwiedersehen to my mom last night. She passed peacefully in her sleep, and is now resting in the fields and forests of heaven. She was born in 1932 in Hamburg, Germany, and at age 7 the world around her exploded into one of the most horrific wars that Europe or the world had seen up to that time. By the time it was over, she was thirteen, and had spent many of her formative years witnessing how low humanity can get in the treatement of fellow humans. She survived the post-war years, and came to the US in the late 1950's, and met my dad while in nursing school. She had four chidren, Tim, Chris, Tanya, and myself. She was a doting and caring mom, who dedicated herself to raising her children. She loved to cook, loved animals, especially dogs, and love human beings in general, and had a compassionate and kind heart. There is a small, empty space in the world that she filled, but heaven is a little brighter with her smile and her laughter. I miss you mom, but I know I will see you again some day. Aufwiedersehen, lieber Mutti! Wir sehen uns bald.15
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This startup I started working for with their shitty code base written by interns, restrictive sys admin who had no actual use in the company since I was the one setting up their servers, know-it-all CEO, stupid HR representative who used to grill employees for being 10 minutes late in the morning, very small apartment "HQ", using fingerprints to signal our entry and our leave to and from the office, no formal process, and, to top it all, monitoring our own laptops which we use for work with a software that takes screenshots every few minutes. In short, it had the worst in corporates with the worst of startups combined in one company.
If, hypothetically, we could overlook all this, I couldn't overlook the horrible smell this place had. The apartment was overlooking a small garden which was a home for many stray cats and dogs. You can imagine how horrible this smell was. The weird thing was that no one there seemed to really care about the smell!!
I lasted there for only one week before I gave my resignation and I believe I had every right to do so.3 -
I worked on an amazing web app that tracked satellites and their failure rates. it was beautiful and worked fantastically. Me team worked like dogs to get it done three months. Our manager insisted it has to work perfectly for the demo and we delivered... We all got raises and everyone was happy, right? WRONG!
Demo day comes and management decides that they don't want to build the app because the customer pulled out. Sooo my manager then asked me why I wasted so much time building it when static images would have been fine. I lost my cool and yelled at my manager "YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME TO GET A FULLY FUNCTIONAL SYSTEM WORKING!" Then I stormed out of the meeting.
It is still the coolest thing I ever built. Too bad it will never see the light of day.3 -
That feeling when you are in a hospital away from your family and you get a call that your neighbour's huge dog tore apart your lil doggy right in front of your wife and 2yo kiddo....
WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE!
If you have dangerous dogs -- USE FUCKING MUZZLES!!! FFS!!!
Thanks God that monster was satisfied by just killing a doggy and didn't touch my fam29 -
Best : I moved on from Dev to SecOps and got a well paid job in a small company closer to my home. With three office dogs.
Really, the dogs are the main thing there. The money is just an additional benefit.
Worst : my Dev life keeps getting less and less relevant for me. In the last two years, I started volunteering a lot (local volunteer fire department and then some), investing into several side businesses that start paying off now, generally doing as much non-dev stuff as possible.
I wanted to do this since I was a kid, I'm good at it, but I keep finding other things to do, because they're more interesting and more of a challenge.
Honestly, the one thing that keeps me in IT is sunk cost fallacy.
Hell, I'm thinking about becoming a paramedic or something, at least I'll be helping people instead of entertaining managers.4 -
Yes yes yes
Let's spend countless hours writing painful spaghetti that generates a financial report, extend that spaghetti for specs, then not bother to check the amounts or status. or where it says the money went. Nope, checking non-unique names is totally good enough. We're so good at this. Ten points to the legendaries.
Let's also make the object factories not create the objects correctly, and make sure that report includes entries for orders that don't include any actual payments. Oh, their status? "Ready to send" of course! Let's send that totally valid $0.00 to nobody!
Oh, but Root. Root, root, root. You can't ADD payments to this. no no no. if you do, it'll break specs everywhere else that uses that factory! Shame on you for suggesting it.
Pssh, now you want to make a payment just for this report? Why would you do that? Our best devs have been working on this for years! What could you possibly know that they don't? No, they're perfect. Don't touch them. Just make them better, okay? No take, only throw!5 -
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"1
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I moved from a no-dogs-allowed company to an office with three dogs in.
Forget the better salary, the more freedoms, the nicer boss I have now.
The main benefit is that I get to pet dogs every day now!7 -
So I just had this job interview with a "startup" (side note: who the fuck still calls limping companies "startups" in 2024? That is sooooo 2010s).
There was this tattooed and very pale girl (you just know the vibe), the mandatory Norse bearded tall guy and the balding, "I'm-in-my-fifties-but-I-am-not-a-square, maaan" sleasy-looking white guy in a button up shirt but no suit jacket. The whole stereotypes gang came looking for their missing nerdy Indian.
The sleasy bloke goes on and on on a looong tirade on how they're "a tech innovation academy", how they "move fast and break things" and they "run smoking hot", so that "long nights are to be expected".
So, they usual red-flagging shit.
Then they all went on a "but we're not like all those companies that look exactly like us" word salad about "sustainability and a healthy work life balance", with their "highest value" being "the utmost respect at all times". I'm nodding my head at the meaningless splurge until they fart out the sentence "for example, cussing while talking with colleagues is a fireable offence".
If some hustling enterprise rather prefers a posh working environment, one can adapt to such circumstances. Provided, of course, that said enterprise adheres to the administrative coherence expected from a culturally refined institution. Mostly by compliance, from the leadership, to a rigidly predictable working schedule.
Now, if the bloody curs want coder dogs that work assfucking hours with a shit eating grin, they better swallow our fucking sailor mouths. Fuck, I've done twenty hour shifts getting my ass kicked in dark startup fisting/rush rooms. If unable to yell at any blabbering cocksucker to go stick his fucking opinions up the bitch who crapped him, then I ain't gonna bloody be there.
TL;DR they can either have a "utmost respect" working environment XOR a "fast and hot" daily hustle.
After they crapped out that oxymoron I could barely hold myself to avoid saying "sorry, I do not partake in any of the psychedelics you must be on".
On to the next interviews!9 -
Friend: "I'm so tired of coding. I've been pressured to do it since I was 9. My dad worked for Sun and he was so obsessed with coding that he even named our dogs Java and Scratch" 😂7
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I believe @Jase/@jAsE/@theRealJase/@myAss is an outsourced devRant account managed by poor chinese dogs paid by a rotten ratmeat.
Edit: And I am his ++ bot.1 -
If you don't feel good enough with your programming skills, keep practicing but don't be sad, there are dogs all around the world that love you
3 -
*About to start an important call with the client*
Neighborhood dogs: "Now is a good time for us to start barking for no reason"3 -
I dont have a rubber duckie, nor a stress ball... but these two terriers are always by my side when coding ❤
3 -
I've just noticed there are dogs available as pet too now.
No wolves available though unlike big cat.8 -
*wild LinkedIn notification appears*
>Opens LinkedIn
>Sees a video of dogs being dogs
>Reads caption something along the lines of "team work and dedication helps the universe to fight global warming and terrorism "
>*Eye rolls* -
Dog barks. Then the other dog barks. Then the lady who owns the dog starts yelling at the dogs. She's yelling and they are barking - and they get louder and louder. What was the goal again? Oh yeah... this is just how agencies work. Go with it. The goals don't matter.2
-
So, a few months back my mother had some issues with her windows 10 box not being able to do proper backups to a backup partition. At the same time I was pulling insane hours at work and writing on a eBook on commission for a guy, besides having small kids with on and off flu and shit.
Needless to say, I didn't have time to look at the backup issues. Well, even though my mom is one of those dogs you can't teach new tricks, she has always been resourceful enough to get help with things.
This time she picked up the phone and called Microsoft Support, got some guys to remote in and take a look. They messed around a bit and said they were done.
She phoned me up later that day to tell me how proud she was of herself for doing that. Of course, she skipped telling me the important bit about she actually calling them, rather describing it as "Microsoft was just on my computer and fixed it".
You can imagine my immediate reaction, cold sweat running down my back, adrenalin rushing in as I dug through the details of what had happened.
A few days later she calls me up again and tells me the problem is back, and we agree that even though the MS dudes was not able to fix it at first, she should try again, as she had a ticket to reference.
The next attempt by MS actually fried her partitions, and apparently they had f-ed up trying to delete and recreate the backup partition.
That's not the worst of it though. Since they fried her disk, her computer crashed and naturally the remoting won't work. In our country, they have no people on the ground to do hands on help, and they didn't have a partner near by. Her not having a win 10 usb stick, nor a spare computer to make one, she was in a surreal predicament.
She was also quite pissed, and pissed off mums are not to be messed with. She managed to get Microsoft to agree to cover the costs of a non-partner to visit her to fix the problems, and using her as the middle man, they made an agreement with the 3rd-party tech support company.
After the box was fixed though, some more issues arose... regarding billing. The 3rd-party tech support was unable to get in contact with the person at MS that was going to sign off on the bill, and again using my mom as the middle man, it was agreed that my mom, as the customer, was to be reimbursed for the bill to the 3rd-party.
Guess what... 3 months went by, with weekly follow-ups and nagging from my mom, and still no money...
At this time, I had time to help her, and after some digging and borderline stalking, we managed to get the phone numbers of some of the higher ups in my country, and she started calling them directly.
After talking to a couple who refused to help, she reached the Vice President of the country branch, and was finally able to talk to someone who gave a shit.
Still took over a month more to actually get the money, but now she had someone who actually gave her statuses, receipts and ETAs.
FUCK!2 -
HR: "People you got to keep believing in the software so we can succeed. You look like a pack of beaten dogs who have given up the fight".
I can choose to believe in God and that he will bless us with a miracle but that's not going to make it any more real than believing in the software is going to fix all the work still left. 😑2 -
First company:
- being sat at an office that didn't have chairs with proper back support. It would kill my back every day. Like sitting on a bar stool coding.
- not having access to basic resources (cafeteria, salary bonuses)
- being seriously underpaid ($200 under)
- not having an IT process pipeline (yeah, this is a huge one): no JIRA, no git, no VCS, no continuous integration, etc. I fucking spend 45% of the time fixing coding-unrelated shit.
Second company (very aggravating):
- dumb frontend bitch and privileged colleague who both kept telling me months on end to shut up and who wouldn't listen to my advice on anything, while my advice would actually help the company advance in productive ways. The key here is being told to shut up while stagnating. i.e. dead end job.
- people advancing in the company based on nepotism and favoritism, based on having tits and ass, rather than skills and independence.
- pointlessssssssss meetings where decisions are made solely based on the opinion of Mr. favorite senior dev. The rest just sits there like a bunch of sad saps and yay-nodders. Incompetent PO's who "would like to hear your input" but then when you give it, they completely dismiss you.
- pointlessssssssss monthly meetings with stakeholders, where the dev teams do nothing but clash and act like pussies in front of the PM just to get in his favor, but behind scenes continue to make the same mistakes and telling the CEO everything is fine. Goodness, how can it get more unproductive.
- completely antisocial and nepotistic 'colleagues' who won't even talk to you, let alone smile at you or be friendly. You saying good morning and them pretending you're vapor that doesn't exist. Go go company atmosphere! Especially during lunch, those are the worst times. Imagine sitting at lunch where everyone looks like you killed their dog and the rest is huddled up in little high school groups.
What else? The incessant and pointless smalltalk that makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Talking about dogs, kids, what show was on tv last night. The fuck man, do you have a brain?!
Third company:
- HR bitches who think they are the shit and developers are antisocial, helpless misfits, but they work with computers and they don't even fucking know what a status bar is! The irony!
- forced socializing and stigmatization for the opposite. Imagine coming into a company and you don't say good morning. Should that be a problem? No. Instead, everyone starts dogging on you and hating you just because you didn't smile in their faces and said: hiiiiiiiiiiii how did you sleep? Did you feed your dog? Fuck you.
Elliot (Mr. Robot): "Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a mute button for life?" -boop, boop, boop, boop...- Ahh.. there.. that's much better."
- CEO's sucking up to you but when it comes to salary increase, they say shit like: "Ahhh ya know, it's kinda difficult." Yet another dead end job.2 -
It's cute how most companies think that someone will take the time to personally hack them. Like nah mate there's countless bots running around the internet like a rabid pack of dogs sniffing ip addresses and running exploit, one of the stragglers will pick you off...
-
Is it just me or the patterns of speech of some people get increasingly more annoying when you realize they speak with callbacks.
For example:
Person1: "Oh, I gotta tell you about the color of my new bike"
Me: "Nice, so what did you decide?"
Person2: "I was undecided about which color to select because of what happened to Andrew, Andrew told his his girlfriend, which by the way got recently pregnant, I can't believe she is expecting! She looks so young. Do you know how old is she?"
Me: "No, but she does look young"
Person2: "Yeah, I wish I looked that young. I have been trying to get in shape again but I have been so busy lately. My boss has been giving me so many assignments lately and I have been having to neglect my dog which is a shame cause he is such a good doggo. The other day we went to the park and someone left the door open and he didn't chase the cars. Do you remember when he was a puppy and he kept pulling the leash trying to chase the cars?"
Me: "Yeah, I remember being scared of him getting run over by a car. I am glad he isn't doing that anymore"
Person2: "Yeah, when I was 15 years old I had a dog that died just like that, it was so traumatic. His name was Jack and he was so feisty. As a matter of fact most small dogs I have seen are feisty."
...
And so on. In the back on my mind I have to keep track of some unanswered questions like: What happened to Andrew? What color is the bike? And the conversation keeps getting derailed. It's exhausting and it feels just like if I was reading code with a lot of callbacks.7 -
Invent a startup:
"It's like <existing company> but for <target audience>"
ex: It's like Uber but for dogs.5 -
Week 1 of the new job, and it seems I have some pretty low expectations to meet.
Seriously, I just did the math. Let's say one works an average of 48 hours per week, 50 weeks per year. Just as an average. That's 2400 hours in a year.
In the Micro-scale, a manager would mess up their team once every 2.4 hours (2h24m) or about 4 times per day (assuming 5 working days per week).
That is a pretty low bar to clear. It easy not to be an antsy brat that are-we-there-yet's a professional dev four fucking times a day.
And yet... that is what the complete moron who previously sat on my chair used to do.
Seriously, apparently he used to remote access the team's dev envs *while they were working* and even mess up some of their code. Just as a "monitoring measure". He logged their "keystroke time" in a day (using a primitive windowing method, I must add).
At least 7 requests for updates per person per day. I have his slack history, I checked. Dude literally did nothing else but be an annoying anxiety death pit.
And then there is his bulshit planning...
He created tasks out of his stupid whims, no team review or brainstorming, not even a fucking requisites tallying interview.
He prioritized those out-of-nowhere tasks using panic-driven-development practices and assigned them by availability heuristics.
No sizing method, just arbitrary deadlines for tasks.
I think I will need to have daily standup meetings and an open door policy (that is to say, do no actual work) for a couple months until I can instill some sense of autonomy on my new team. Shit.
Someone has another idea? How do I bring some confidence&autonomy back to devs that are used to be treated like dogs?!?7 -
Not particularly dev related but I do need to rant.
Parents are here to visit, it's lovely to see them. Unfortunately I have a small ass 1 bed flat because rent and house prices are stupid high where I work. I'm sleeping in the living room on an air bed, the fridge/freezer is noisy and about 3 foot from my head so I've been turning it off over night. It didn't get plugged in this morning so shit's getting thrown out. I sleep maybe 5 hours, wake up at 1 too hot, 4 too cold then mother comes in at 6 with the dogs. 3rd night of this. I've taken holiday even though I don't have much to spare because there's no way in fuck I can work feeling like this, I'm a dev and need to be able to think and do intelligent things ffs.
It's nice to see family but it's nice to have my own space too. -
So.. pets for your avatars.. but I don't see the alternative of having a baby crawling around your feet available for choosing instead of dogs and cats.. crawling around, biting cables, smashing my keyboard steeling, buying adorable and distracting her dad from working. because that's what my home environment looks like.. maybe I don't have enough ++'s
;-)6 -
I have a 4S I leave lying around and most apps are dogs on it or crash.
Not DevRant app, though. Pretty solid. Impressive job.9 -
Random poll:
If you have pets, do you own a cat or a dog?
A colleague has a personal statistic that says most developers have cats rather than dogs.
Just checking her data!52 -
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.3 -
I have no words to describe the look and feel of this website. Did the puppies at this place design their website? O_o
http://www.tripleabcpups.com/
16 -
What's wrong with the idea of having a huge computational network like in Watch Dogs to bruteforce encryption ?
I mean suppose having 500 or more million cores , how long does it actually take to bruteforce a 256 bit key ?11 -
I'd like to share with you guys the fact that I had one of the greatest Christmases ever!
This includes having randomly received this debugging duck from someone that had no idea what it would mean to me, but also meeting people who brought 4 dogs to the family reunion (I am absolutely in love with dogs)
1 -
Soon every hacker can move to Toronto and play real-life Watch Dogs.
https://amp.theguardian.com/comment... -
My 15 year old son witnessed our two male dogs licking each other's privates. My son, in some sort of shock, starts walking around the house saying "My dog is a homo sex you awl!" repeatedly (emphasis on how the syllables sounded).
I stopped him and said, "We need to talk about the birds and the birds."4 -
Before 7am this morning I'd managed to sit on my laptop that had fallen underneath a cushion and drop my phone in the kitchen, bouncing along the tile floor and into a puddle of my dogs drool.
My body is clearly anti-technology today.4 -
It's pouring cats and dogs in Mumbai since a week. For the uninitiated, these are regular monsoon rains for the costal city.
And some motherfucker stole my umbrella from the office.
Thankfully when I left, rains had halted and I was able to commute home without getting wet.
Tomorrow when the fucker gets it back, I am gonna make them stand in rain for an hour.7 -
Client had this great idea for a business where he would kennel dogs at his house and have a premium upgrade to the service where he would sell dog treats and other items as well as have a private members only area where they could view their dog.
My first question was "Is there any demand from your customers for such things and what type of budget do you have?"
His response was "I don't have much of a budget but I can give you some hockey tickets and give you a stake in the profit."
I politely declined. He didn't even have any cameras in his house to pull off such a thing, either let alone he didn't have a boarding license. Oh clients.3 -
You think one day your dog could be a wireless adapter. Nowadays dog are getting microchips, as sick as it sounds I wonder if you can ad a wireless chip card on a dogs microchip.5
-
I hate UpWork and Freelancer.com fees and policies about the privacy (or lack) for your projects. But I grudgingly admit they offer protections against fraud. If you're a freelancer, or if you employ freelancers, and do so without the fraud protections of these types of services, how do you guard against being taken advantage of by clients or freelancers? I mean, anyone can write and sign contracts but in the end they're just paper promises not worth anything if the people you're working with or for are "dogs on the Internet" who can simply disappear.2
-
When to log into an encrypted vm that I set up for finances, and realized I had forgotten my password, to decrypt it. Well after a few min I gave up and wrote a short program with all my sees, and rules for altering the seeds and combinations there of.
Got back a few thousand and plugged it into a macro script and went to do chores for my wife. Came back and was in.
To be honest I check on it somewhere in the middle and thought oh crap did I use my dogs name? I didn't but now I am switching to a password manager.2 -
People who don't know anything about programming after playing watch dogs 2: "I AM A HACKING GOOOOOOOOD!"2
-
First day at my job and once I got home I immediately crashed into my bed and woke up at 3 AM.
For some reason I still feel physically tired. Even though I woke up by myself (no distractions from my environment).
+ I feel like having worked out even though I did not. I can feel the muscles aching everywhere in my body.
Anyway back to how it went...
I got there (company) and met a young people like me who are also working in this company for the first time.
Once I saw them + the chief and the leaders, my anxiety kicked in, but I made sure not to show it.
We took photos and saw the cubes (data center cubes) and it felt like I was in a hacking scene from Mr Robot or Watch Dogs lol. It was so cool.
After that we were assigned to our temporary work places and mine was at a place where you get packages from the delivery trucks, cut them, sort them, put etiquettes on them and register them in the system.
Another boy (let's call him Daniel) and me were assigned to this place. He is going to be a sys admin.
The people at this workplace were very chill, cool and mature.
You can joke with them and they will not get offended (looking at you, Twitter) lol.
Daniel however is the opposite.
He is so god damn extroverted that he literally won't stop talking.
At some point he asked me if I was even listening and I admitted that the unconcious side of the brain of mine built a filter over the years that only let's valuable information flow through. When there is no valuable information, I do not process them in my conciousness.
Poor guy got a bit sad, but me whatever. Not my problem. He gave me an headache by talking nonstop nonsense.
Today, when my shift begins, I will learn to do drive a forklift and I'm excited about this.
I do not even need a license for it which you normally need in other companies :D1 -
#cursee&productivity
Working from home again 🕺
By no means slacking. I'm legit working. With the exception of petting my dogs every now and then.4 -
Back in NAM those who left the pointers without cleaning them we called them DESERTERS and made them sleep with the dogs.
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I'd like to make an open source data registry, with an easy to access API. For example, perhaps I'd like to list all cities and postal codes in France, or perhaps get the number of dogs in Canada. Any ideas how to structure the open source part? How can people contribute? Should it use external APs?2
-
My own little version of moore's law:
In 1986 the connectome (the brain) of c. elegans, a small worm, was mapped. It would take decades before the research caught up to the point where we had the hardware to simulate it.
In 2024, we have successfully mapped, and fully simulated (to matching observed behavioral data) the brain of a fruit fly, a total of 139,255 neurons and corresponding connections.
Thats a 38 year period.
If the period is roughly 40 years, and the leap in successful neurons mapped *and simulated* is by an average of 461 times the prior number of neurons, then by 2062-2064 we will be simulating box jellyfish, fruit flys, zebrafish, bees, ants, honey bees, cockroachs, coconut crabs, geckos, guppys, sand lizards, snakes, skinks, toirtoises, frogs, iguanas, shrews, bats, and even moles.
By the dozens or hundreds in any given simulation.
By the year 2100-2104 we'll be fully simulating the brains of mice, quill, crocodiles, birds such as doves, rats, zebra finchs,
guinea pigs, lemurs, ducks, ferrets, cockatiels, squirrels, mongoose, prairie dogs, rabbits, octopi, house cats, buzzards, parakeets, grey parrots, snowy owls, racoons, and even domestic pigs.
And in the years between 2100 to 2140, starting immediately with domestic dogs, we will ramp up and end with the capacity to simulate human brains in full, probably by the dozens or hundreds.
This assumes we can break the quantum barrier of course.20 -
I love cats more than dogs.
Despite being domesticated, cats remain true predators with true predator skills and the pedigree that comes with them. The evidence is your local government mandating house cats should wear bell collars to warn birds, as they threaten their extinction otherwise.
Modern dogs are mere scavengers that live off people and eat trash. They evolved to be cute by tilting their heads. Dogs aren't useless, mind you, I just like cats more.
But both dogs and cats are dwarfed by YE MIGHTY FROGGE. Frogs are the most fascinating and magnificent creatures to ever roam this troubled planet, maybe rivaled only by orcas. Frogs are the best. They're also the cutest, especially when touching a small yellow one can kill an elephant.11 -
If you discovered a vulnerability affecting multiple of the big dogs, would file a cve and report it immediately or have some *fun* first?
-
LinkedIn: Exploiting social psychology for fun and profit.
I was reading an excellent post by Kage about linkedin (you can find it and more here - https://devrant.com/users/Kage) a little while ago and it occurred to me the unique historic moment we are in. Never before have we been so connected in history. Never before have we had so great an opportunity to communicate with strangers (perhaps except for sketchy candy vans on college campuses, and tie dye wearing guys distributing slips of paper at concerts). And yet today, we are more atomized than ever before. In this unprecedented era of free information, and free communication, how can we make the most of our opportunities?
The great thing about linkedin is all the fawning morons who self select for it. They're on it. They're active, so you know they're either desperate attention hungry cock goblins,
self aggrandizing dicknosed cretins, desperate yeasty little strumpets, or a managerie of other forgetable fucking pawns,
willingly posting up their entire lives to be harvested and sold so someone can make 15 cents on a 2% higher ad conversion ratio for fucking cilas or beetus meds.
So what is a psychopathic autist asshole to do?
Ruthlessly exploit them by feeding them upvotes, hows-it-going-guys, and other little jolts of virtualized feel-good-chemical bullshit.
Remember the quickest way to network is for people to like you. And the quickest way to make people like you is either agree with them on everything, or be absolutely upfront with everything you disagree on.
Well, they'll love you, or hate you. But at least you'll be living rent free in their head. And that means they'll remember you when you call looking to network or get a referal.
Of course, in principle, this extends to any social media site. Why not facebook? Why not fucking *myspace*? Why not write a script in selenium to browse twitter all day, liking pictures of lattes and dogs posted by the lonely and social-approval-hungry devs working at places like google, twitter, faceborg, etc?
You could even extend this to non-job prospects. Want a quick fuck? Why, just script a swipe-right hack on tinder, or attach a big motherfucking robot arm to your phone, tapping and swiping for hours. Want to make a buck? Want not harvest data on ebay or amazon all god damn day and then run arbitration for 'wanted' classifieds on craiglist?
Why not automate all the things?
The world is at your fingertips, and you the power to automate it, while all the wall lickers and finger painters live oblivious to the opportunity they are surrounded with and blessed with daily.
Surely now that you know, it is your obligation, nay, your DUTY to show the way.
Now you are learned. Now you are prepared. Go forth and stroke the egos of disposable morons to bilk for future social favors while automating the world in ways never intended.3 -
My first memories of the very first computer i got?
Not sure exactly when that was but all the first memories are of me playing games:
Some paper plane game on the really old macs (giant screens i think it was highlighter orange)
My auntie also had a computer when i was little i'd visit her for the holidays and j played some kid game about dogs.
When we got our first computer i remember some 2d metroid like game but it was where you play as some lady with a whip.
Also duke nukem 1, one of the games me and my dad played together.
Then later on we got a win98 computer i played age of empires and solitaire!
(i used to ride around on my bike with a sword pretending i was a cataphract LOL, i was never very good at RTS games when i was little so i'd build things and not have room for units to move, i kept building houses thinking you need a lot lol, me and the AI were at a stalemate, most because the buildings were in the way)
I remember my teacher giving me tips about age of empires when i was in primary, one of my favourite teachers too.
Good times -
Is there any other programmer that started as an architect (building architect, not IT)?
I'm divided between two different careers and working around 15hours a day because I can't focus on one. Is this a normal thing?
I work as an architect for the past 6 years and were always interested in the technology part of it.
Soon I got to be a BIM coordinator and started using Dynamo for Revit.
After that, I got involved in learning Python and now start studying web dev (front-end)
Programming is very addictive! I get it now why IT people stay in their dorm like it's a cave
In architecture there's always a client you need to make happy, while in programming I create things the away I want them to be, without all the boring formalities that I am used to.
I can learn it for free and there's a huge community to help on it. All careers should be like this.
I'm happy, but really tired 😪 my social life is resumed to hanging out with my dogs5 -
Well, I've started work a few days ago, and I've got a rant for you as well.
Anyone here ever hear of laughter therapy?
Well my day was normal enough, rattling through the training material, and work was holding an appreciation day with some dogs, cakes, and a crazy laughing woman. She was the instructor for the laughter therapy.
So thanks to my newly found "try everything" mentality, and a senior dev dragging me along to fill seats, I was stuck in a room filled with other devs, being told to smile and laugh even if I was forcing myself to do it. So I did, we went through increasingly embarrasing and insane-looking exercises (e.g. Mime pouring and drinking a milkshake while laughing), until we were told to lie on the floor and belly laugh for 5 minutes.
Anyone here play/see "We Happy Few"? I was stuck standing next to the crazy sow, who looked one bad day away from beating everone in the room to death with a cricket bat!
As is customary for me, have a cute snek.
2 -
So the contract for this big project with a client has some interesting content in it. I'm not sure if I can sign this in good faith.
Because I seem to be lacking guard dogs and a receptionist at my home office. Maybe I could build a force field for them.
And I'm not really looking forward towards having all my friends sign a document every time they visist.
5 PHYSICAL SECURITY
5.1 Adequate physical security perimeters (e.g. fences, walls, barriers, guards, gates, electronic surveillance, physical authentication mechanisms, reception desks and security patrols) shall be implemented to safeguard Information and information systems.
5.2 Supplier shall have a documented visitor policy and all visitors must be identified, registered, logged, and accompanied by an employee from Supplier.2 -
Just in case anyone here knows someone stupid enough to believe that all the major companies aren't listening to you ALL THE TIME.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
TLDW: Dude doesn't own a dog, sees no dog ads on Google. Closes the browser and talks about dogs for a minute. Then multiple pages advertise dog toys to him.3 -
So last year in school, we did a project where we had to program a movie collection. So obviously we wrote "cat" a lot, for category.
So late one day, we just named a few variables "dogs" for the hell, then we'd change it back later... We forgot.
Realized it later when we had handed it in, and were defending it at the verbal exam 😂 -
Ideal dev job would be to work on pretty/girly fashion or cosmetics websites, have drama free and knowledgeable co-workers, decent salary, great organization, external training opportunities, cute modern office, dogs, cats and a cafe on site, a dope recharge room & no talking to clients ever.4
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I have a nice desk, but my dogs insist that I work sitting on the floor with them. Just in case y’all were wondering who the bitch is in my house. It’s me.1
-
People should take their fireworks and shove them up their asses. I finally understand how cats and dogs feel on new years. Except I'm not a dog but, a frightened parent, scared of my kids being woken up by bangs and flashes!6
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Ever since humans transitioned from hunting-gathering to farming, cats saved an unimaginable number of people. Dogs are fine at hunting and guarding the household, but they’re not sneaky enough to catch mice.
Mice destroying your food stash meant death by starvation for your whole family, no exceptions. Only something as agile, sneaky and alert as a house cat could catch mice effectively.4 -
You know I am becoming a firm believer of us all walking to the houses of people with dogs
Squatting down on their front step and dropping a deuce and then pissing all over their fucking lawns and greenery!!5 -
!devRant
Be me on vacation ~1500 miles from home
Board dogs like normal
Oldest dog (13y) gets sick
Boarding people take to vet as requested
Vet calls saying he is vomiting "coffee grounds" (that means he is bleeding into his stomach)
Won't be back until next Sunday
May have to bury dog when I get back.2 -
I play simulator games. Mostly Cities : Skylines or The Sims 4. But no matter how stressed I am an hour in the gym gets me back on the horse...
If all fails I binge watch cringe compilations, cats or dogs compilation, Conan's show... Craig's show.. on youtube...! -
My countries {South Africa} new favourite thing, you get a mail from a reqcruiter stating they have an opportunity for you and want you to forward your CV in Word format.
Dunno about you countries, but in mine 'word' is code for 'make it easier for use to fuck it up with the template we stole from the dogs shit after it ate its owners homework'.
So I rpelied ot one of them simply asking if I should not first be interestd in the position before them requesting my CV.
They basically typed out a longer version of the original mail, I still do not know what this great opportunity is that they want my CV for and not replying again. lol5 -
!dev
Vampire homegirl and I got into bit of a pickle last time we went out marauding around the City of the Dead. We collected payment for a hit on a merchant, but a large portion of the money was discounted, as unbeknown to us, there was a witness to our bloody crime.
Soon enough, we were being hunted down by a rival sect, encroaching on our territory. Their High Priest sent some dogs our way, and we felt right into their ambush, at a crossroads within the southern alleways. I took down three of those sons of bitches, with two crossbow bolts stuck on my back, before finally being knocked down by a shield slammed to my face.
Got both my fucking legs mauled with a flail and almost put out of commission. Luckily, my vampiric companion was there to save my skin. She fought a desperate duel against the last one of our foes left standing: an inquisitor, sent to either capture, or more likely, kill us both.
This fucker was tougher than any adversary either of us had ever fought against. Fully clad in silver armor, wearing an enchanted crimson cloak, her face hidden behind a terrifying iron mask. My companion stood her ground, but throughout the fight, she was constantly on the defensive, hesitant to close too much distance against the enemy.
Our foe launched one devilishly mighty blow, that my partner in crime fortunately managed to block. However, her blade was pulverized by the sheer weight of the inquisitor's strike, nearly shattering her ribcage. In a last ditch effort to survive the encounter, she lunged at her opponent with what remained of her sword, and stabbed the hunter right in her fucking eye, to then sink her fangs into the ecclesiastical bitch's neck.
Having temporarily incapacitated the inquisitor, we made our escape. My companion carried me back to our safehouse, where we would plan our next move... but our masters were one step ahead of us.
At our hideout, we were intercepted by them, at the behest of the Matriarch. We were to be smuggled out of the city inside a funeral carriage, to then be safely transported back to our sacred order's sanctuary.
Uppon arriving, we were confronted and reprimanded for our failures, past and present. I was forcefully separated from my esteemed nocturnal friend, as way our masters put it, our growing affections were cause for concern. Longing to be reunited, we schemed for weeks through our mutual acquaintances in the monastery, delivering small coded messages.
Through our cunning subterfuge, we finally managed to meet in an ancient grotto underneath a cedrus tree, on a hill overlooking the sanctuary. I was ready to plan a daring escape, but to my suprise, she had her mind made up to a wildly different course of action. We were to play by their rules -- go through with their dark cleansing rituals, meant to re-educate us before admitting us back into the order as fully-fledged acolytes.
And so, in the penumbra of that age-old grotto, a pact was made.
I am now riding south on a black stallion, falchion in hand, and a trail of witches' blood in my wake. I carry with me orders from the Matriarch herself: purify the nearby catacombs and prove my devotion to the utter blackness of our faith. Should I not return, my companion will be up next.
Failure is not an option. As I evade the twisted creatures that guard the entrance, and descend the staircase down into the tomb, I wonder what kind of horrors await me inside...
OH GOD FUCKING SHIT I JUST STEPPED ON A TRAP
** TO BE CONTINUED ** -
My coworkers and I work in close quarters in a laboratory all day. We all get along well, and since we don’t have “offices” and often work together on things, we are a pretty close team.
We recently got a new member, Jill, who is 22, and this is her first job out of college. She lives at home with her parents, who are incredibly well-off, and has lived at home all through college. The rest of us are late 20’s to late 30’s. Jill is very nice but also very sensitive and somewhat immature, and I’m not sure if she’s just not 100% sure how to deal with people in professional settings yet or what’s going on, but almost everything that comes out of her mouth has to do with money, mainly how much money her family has. If it might offer some context, Jill and her family are not from the U.S., but have been here since Jill was a teenager.
I usually just kind of inwardly roll my eyes and change the subject, but with the holidays it’s gotten considerably worse and Jill is driving my team and me crazy. Some examples of things she has said just in the past week are: “My dad’s buying my mom a new car for Christmas!” “I’m going to buy my mom a Gucci Keychain for Christmas. It’s $225 dollars!” “I’m so excited, my mom is buying my puppy a Tiffany collar for Christmas!”
The thing that sent me over the edge was when a male coworker asked for ladies’ opinions on a very nice coat he was considering buying for his girlfriend. My opinion was something along the lines of “I like it, but I would go with the gray because white coats get dirty very easily, in my experience,” whereas Jill’s opinion was “It’s not even a name brand, you should go with either a North Face or a Michael Kors.”
I am honestly not sure if Jill knows there are people in the world who are not as well-off as her family is, and that people who aren’t as “fortunate” don’t want to hear these kinds of things every day. We are not paupers, but we are definitely not buying our dogs Tiffany collars. Is there a way that I can tell her to please stop talking about how rich her family is, without sounding jealous or mean, or causing a lot of friction on my team? Like I said, she’s a nice person, but money is a touchy subject in any capacity and I think this might hinder her professionally in the future, not to mention that we’re all sick of hearing about it!3 -
!Rant
So . . . for the first time ever I feel like I'm a part of something I genuinely care about. I'm a Unity3D VR developer, albeit for a small company, which has me in and out of VR constantly most days as I test things. Pretty cool right?
Well here's the thing. For me . . . what I do is trivial in meaning. I love what I do, don't get me wrong, but what's so good about what I do, is that I am a valued team member. My opinion is heard, I am given freedom to innovate, and most importantly I am allowed to create!
So what did I do today? I started building a UI framework for Unity3D, the beginning of which dynamically binds zenject signals to UI elements, like a button's onClick for example. If anyone here has worked with Unity3D you probably can attest to the festering heap of dogs vomit that is Unity UI....2 -
Story of two poor puppies
when my mom returned from market, she saw a puppy with her
siblings surrounded by people choosing which one to take.
she pick one puppy. she's color is grayish black puppy with the tip
of his tail and a place in she's neck.
she whined and cried when she separated from her siblings and Mom.
but she quickly familiarize herself with the new family and place.
she was very happy when we bring her sister we found in the same place.
I take care of them.
I feed, wash and play with the new friends.
we built them a house. they were very happy and playful.
but things started to go downhill all of a sudden.
my parents start to prevent me from playing with them.
they say " We bring the puppies for them to be guards ".
they really hate dogs. they started to lock
the house and the window. they had to pass all day in the
same place
(How BORING) they pee there, eat there sleep there.
Since me and my sis prevented from take care of them, we couldn't
do anything all this only to make them cruel dogs and very unfriendly
to people.
when time pass, they started to forget them.
before yesterday, we remembered that we didn't
give them any food or water for the past 3 DAYS !!!
my sister unlock the door for them and they get out
from the house (~Prison~). they were completely
different. the gray puppy was very tired and depressed
and unhealthily skinny. the sister was fine.
we let them outside for few days when the gray puppy
started to get more and more skinny.
he lies on the floor all the day, when we are nearby, she
only wag it's tail no more.
Today, I wake up only to hear the bad story
the gray puppy, well we found her 0x00DEAD ! ! ! !
immediately after I heard the phrase, I burst into tears
I really couldn't stop crying. I couldn't even see that
cute face 0x00DEAD.
My sister's case was way worse than me. the is still
crying at the time of writing. we didn't see their funeral.
the other puppy was very sad because of her sibling
The Worst part is, we didn't name them or take ANY
photo with them !!! :`(2 -
Years ago I made a meme about eating dogs.
My detractors have continued to hound me to this very day. -
Great practice/skill sharpening idea for my fellow mad dogs that like to get down in multiple languages/syntaxes:
Pick something simple that won't cause too much stress, but will make you sweat a little bit and put up a good fight, ha!!!
For example, I picked the classic "Caesars Cipher" and picked 5 languages to create it in! I picked Dart, Java, Python, CPP, and C. Each version does the same thing:
1. Asks for a message
2. Runs the logic
3. Prints the message cipher.
4. To decrypt, you just run the same program again and enter the cipher text at the message input prompt. The message gets deciphered using the same logic an shows up as the original text.
The kicker:
Only dox/books allowed for reference. Otherwise it wouldn't push you to get better!!!
Python, C, and CPP were EASY, even with me never having used C before. I am great at using Dart, and that one really challenged me for some reason, but I finally got it. The previous 3 langs took less than 40 lines of code each (with Python being only 18 I believe). Dart actually took somewhere around 50, and Java took about 371784784. (Much love to Java though for real!)
Kinda boring as shit, but I gotta tell you it felt fuckin GREAT to look at all 5 of those programs after completing them, no matter how barbaric... especially when you complete 1 or 2 in a language you've never used or maybe felt really challenged by. Simple exercises that hold a lot of important, relatable logic no matter the subject is our lifeblood!!!9 -
Cats and dogs - I interact with both in my uni and love both of them (yea well guess which one of them actually reciprocates the love).
I'm kinda having a tough time deciding which one do I keep in my Avatar.
@dfox please add an option with both of 'em fuckers3 -
I'm late to programming, took me some years of working for dumbasses in the building industry to realise that i was meant for it.
When I left high school I thought that technology would never be a career on my old and undeveloped hometown (still isn't but i never contemplated the fact of moving to other county back there)
Glad to finally realise it :) being able to be proud of your work and to build something meaningful is great.
Also, to be able to work from home and hang out with my dogs is the best :)4 -
Vinegar didn't work, time to test honey.
Let's see if autocomplete is nice enough to persuade some of these mongrels to evolve from dogs to chimps and actually document the code they write.
1 -
Legacy code horror story.
I had to work on code designed to identify dogs... didn't go well:
https://i.imgur.com/32IXo6Y.gifv
(Credit to reddit: https://co.reddit.com/r/...) -
We've got new TV for monitoring, which auto-rotating meme page you like ? Cats, dogs, dank (sfw), dev, testing. Gimme yours !!! :)1
-
I've been thinking, and i feel like being the bad guy... So, for now, I'm also an "idea guy" if you know what i mean...
Idea: This site could have a feature like "product recommandations" (just like long rants or something [tyical idea guy saying]), where users could recommend stuff like programs, peripherials, or anything dev related.
This could be done using tags, like certain tags would get sorted into the "product recommandations".
Sounds nice, doesn't it?
(PS.: We should also make a site which is like google, trust me, it would make millions...) -
maybe I've changed
I'd get jump scared from suddenly barking dogs trying to bite me...
Today I got surprised
Surprised by the fact that what I felt this time wasn't fear.
I felt hate, hatred so vile and bloodthirsty it instantly triggered a bug-eyed kobenz, murderously eyeballing the mutt
for the first time in my life a dog owner pulled back the leash and scolded their hellspawn
Cats are so much nicer
---
I hadn't, yet, taken my adhd meds thou, so maybe that's what bipolar BPD people do because now I'm actually surprised with my reaction4 -
Anytime I run a game on my laptop, the game crashes. COD is working fine, Far cry 4 and watch dogs 2 are running without audio and games like forza horizon and others are not even running. I have gtx 940 4gb on top of i5 6gen.
can anybody help?8 -
Let the dogs out, smoke a clove, watch some metal videos, have a eureka moment, go back inside and code.
-
made 2 websites that fetch pictures of dogs and cats from 2 public api's
https://satvik.ninja/cat-pics
https://satvik.ninja/dog-pics1 -
I feel no motivation until we're past this fucked up hump and all the tech that is relevant and theory that was kind of crap remains the same and in the same foreground position and all the chommies die or go away.
I can't even finish the next line of code I know I already wrote to spawn a crap ton of md5 and file structure scans for quick disk vs disk inventory.
that i knew actually worked.
i mean if i hide proof this time period existed in teh fucking woods again they'd just use dogs to find it.
guess its time to make news.1 -
People all over the world own dogs as pets. In some places in the world people eat dogs.
Is it okay to feed your pet dog the scraps left over from eating dog?
I also pointed out to a coworker that New York has huge rats. I then said: "street steak".
The response was: "Why?!"2 -
So my current company held a dev showcase last week. It was an event to show the different projects/tech stacks that different teams are working on/with. There's about 12-14 teams in our company. My team lead and I were brainstorming ideas on what to show on our booth. And I told him, I have an Intel RealSense developer kit that we can use. Anyway, fast forward to the day before the event, I was still developing our app/game for the booth. Just an emotion detector and you have to trick the app with your facial expressions. (Weird and fun, I know). The head honcho walked past the team lead and I and looked over the demo that I was playing around and he said that: "That's not work. You're wasting time again."
We were both irritated by his comments because he's one of the top dogs in the company and he surely knows about the event. Also, it's our way of showing to him that we're flexible in doing fun stuff instead of just enterprise and internal systems!
What a fucking kill joy! -
Are people really this predictable now ? If so is it because they're used to accepting instruction on how to act down to the minute being baited and trained like dogs ? Or is this natural to everyone ?
I sure as hell didn't grow up like them
But they're idiocy started kind of awhile ago27 -
You dipshits! Yet again...
- use contract X from team WeJustFuckUp
- WeJustFuckUps tell me I "used the contract with the wrong semantics"
- What the fuck how is that possible!? Explain to the fuck ups that if it's the wrong semantics then it shouldn't be documented. Ask what right semantics is... They do not support their own correct semantics...
Fuck you! Just say you fucked up and come to me with a new contract!
Two weeks pass, new contract breaks half the functionality... And they ask me: "is it a problem? Can't you use it as is?"
Now listen here you pile of elephant dung, you have an unresponsive system with an unscalabe architecture... You have twisted contracts and you come to me to fix them!? I have more to do then to babysit your assess!
I am so tired of your bulshit... You are a bunch of prairie dogs hitting keyboards and call yourself developers!? My dog is a better developer, he at least does not break he's own software and when he takes a massive dump he owns it...
I am this close to making a request of changing your work computers to an abacus! It's all you can handle...
Fuck off! You are waste of resources and your parents should be spanked!!
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