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-
Guy: "We just can't finish this in 1 month!"
Boss: "Yeah you can, I'll hire more people."
Guy: "... You know, a woman can deliver a baby in 9 months but 9 women can't deliver a baby in 1 month."21 -
Interviewer: Which number comes after 8?;
Me: 9;
Interviewer: Get out of here.;
I still don't know why I got rejected in Microsoft interview.13 -
I’m so sorry! No, I do NOT have 9 years experience using this framework that has only been out for 5 years 🙃
5 -
10 Things You’ll Find Shocking About Asynchronous Operations:
3.
2.
7.
4.
6.
1.
9.
10.
5.
8.
(found on twitter by @iamdevloper 😂)6 -
Base10 is interesting.
Did you know that any number > 9 has this weird thing where if you sub it's digits from the number over and over, it'll eventually become 9?
For example: 35
35 - 3 - 5 = 27
27 - 2 - 7 = 18
27 - 1 - 8 = 9
Try it with any number you like.41 -
Project manager logic, explained with babies.
9 women can have 9 babies in 9 month. We only need one baby.
Deadline is one month!12 -
On Thursday, May 20, 2088 9:55:59 PM, my life will be complete: Unix Epoch time will equal 0xdeadbeef.10
-
Okay, we all ranters love pizza, right?
TIL something that we should ALL keep in mind while buying pizza.
One 18 inch pizza has more pizza than two 12 inch pizzas.
if ((3.142*9*9) > (2*3.142*6*6)) {
return buyPizza(18inch, 1);
} else {
/* stop being an imbecile. This is dead code */
}15 -
"I hate C# and Java because compiling takes forever. That's why I use JavaScript."
npm install && gulp
...9 years later...13 -
When the deadline gets extended from 12:00 AM to 9:00 AM, night out is fucking expected ! Fuck them till morning ! FUCK !3
-
Tried Asphalt 9 today.
You can’t actually steer. It’s a racing game. You can’t steer. Game steers for you.
I’m leaving this planet.14 -
How the original creator sees their code:
while (true) {
postGuildCount();
}
how contributors see his code :
/[-a-zA-Z0-9@:%_\+.~#?&//=]{2,256}\.[a-z]{2,4}\b(\/[-a-zA-Z0-9@:%_\+.~#?&//=]*)?/14 -
Why Microsoft skipped windows 9 ?
"because some old programs may mistake it for windows 95 or 98"
(not mine)
7 -
1) Install Debian 9
2) Select GNOME
3) Hate GNOME
4) Uninstall GNOME
5) Install LXDE
6) Love GNOME17 -
What did we buy ?
Ryzen 9 and Radeon 6800 XT
What are we playing ?
Open TDD and factorio.
Yep, Can confirm, no lags.9 -
>monster energy drink
>brutal dubstep
>neon green keyboard&mouse
>sick 4k 21:9 monitor
>
>contemplating killing all my coworkers2 -
9 days.
9 fucking days without internet.
9 fucked up days with access to a national intranet with the only accessible things being websites with privacy-respect policy of facebook, with all your unencrypted data streaming under dictator hands.6 -
Damn it why is developing way more interesting at night time. Makes having a 9 - 5 really difficult4
-
So my teammate posted on our Slack channel:
^(?=.{1,254}$)(?=.{1,64}@)[-!#$%&‘*+\/0-9=?A-Z^_`a-z{|}~]+(\.[-!#$%&'*+\/0-9=?A-Z^_`a-z{|}~]+)*@[A-Za-z0-9]([A-Za-z0-9-]{0,61}[A-Za-z0-9])?(\.[A-Za-z0-9]([A-Za-z0-9-]{0,61}[A-Za-z0-9])?)*$
Then our manager asked him: "Are you swearing on Slack!?"
No sir, thats Regex.4 -
I got myself a new monitor, 2560x1080 (21:9). LG 25UM58-P on sale at NewEgg and NCIX, I paid $200CAD.
20 -
1. Pre-sales to Client: We can develop 200 APIs with 10 developers in 9 months.
2. Client: Ok! Cool, its a deal.
-- Sprint starts --
3. Actual: We are 6 developers, commited (or sold out) to make 200 APIs in 9 months.
Fucking pre-sales.3 -
So I’m having an argument with my gf.
Is it “Why is 6 afraid of 7?” or “Why is 10 afraid of 7?”
I fucking said that 6 has not seen the action of 7 eating 9. But 10 has, therefore he is scared.
If we were to iterate from 0 to 10, we would see that 6 hasn’t seen shit.
Let’s print out each number if we iterate through and find a consecutive 7, 8 and 9 then print out “Oh shit 7 ate 9.”
0
1
2
3
4
5
6 // Hey honey I don’t see anything here??
7
8
9
Oh shit 7 ate 9
10 // Someone call the fucking police
Thoughts?10 -
This snippet was found in Thanos’ bash history:
```
ps Sh | sort -R | awk 'NR % 2 {print $1}' | xargs sudo kill -9
``` -
!rant
Convinced the boss we should move to .NETCore 5 because *future proofing*
and *security*.
Now I get to use records and can use all that fancy syntactic sugars.
Life's good.5 -
Day 1 of my 1000 job applications TikTok challenge
Goal:
- apply to 9 different jobs per day
- see if i can break the Guinness World Record of being rejected 1 thousand (1000) times
Stats so far:
- 9 job applications
- 0 replies
- 0 hires
Will be documenting this on devrant too
7 -
Am I the only one who hates these 9-5 work times?
Right now it's almost midnight and I'm awake and my mind is productive, but I know tomorrow at work I'll be tired until lunch atleast and only from like 3-6 on I'll start being really productive. Wish I could work from like 5pm to 1am..12 -
Boss reasoning: 9 woman can deliver a baby in one month.
My response: 9 man cum in your mother pussy and she delivered you in one month too.
welp, I said that just in my mind of course 🤐5 -
Online team meeting at 9:30 am, I wake up at 9:25 am
Wake up. Meeting was moved at 9:00 am and renamed to "CRITICAL". It's been 45 minutes and I still don't know what broke, but I'm too scared to ask.3 -
YouTube’s has gotten really irritating lately with its advertising. Literally 3 ads side by side before the video title
13 -
*me calculating rsa*
"aight.. Public key is 9 and n"
*calculating private key*
*recalculating cause I fucked up*
*recalculating cause I'm retarded*
*3rd recalculation*
"ok, I figured out my private key is 9 (and n)"
.... Wait a second.1 -
A project manager is someone who believes that if he/she joins 9 pregnant women they'll have a child in 1 month1
-
Me:- OMG Java 9 is coming in 144 days;
Normal ppl:- ...So what😑😑
Me:- Java 9 is awesome we can type codes in cmd;
Normal Ppl:- I have net beans;
Me (thinking):- FROM WHAT HELL DID SUCH SOUL-LESS MONSTERS COME FROM 😨😨😨😨😱😱😱8 -
Teaching my homeschooled son about prime numbers, which of course means we need to also teach prime number determination in Python (his coding language of choice), when leads to a discussion of processing power, and a newly rented cloud server over at digital ocean, and a search of prime number search optimizations, questioning if python is the right language, more performance optimizations, crap, the metrics I added are slowing this down, so feature flags to toggle off the metrics, crap, I actually have a real job I need to get back to. Oooh, I'm up to prime numbers in two millions, and , oh, I really should run that ssh session in screen so it keeps running if I close my laptop. I could make this a service and let it run in the background. I bet there's a library for this. He's only 9. We've already talked about encryption and the need to find large prime numbers.3
-
21 lines of business logic (including whitespace and comments)
9 lines of build config
386 lines of tests (and tests for the tests)9 -
Dragon on falcon 9. First re-use of a commercial orbit-class space-craft!
Launched successfully
*giggles*
5 -
Here is what I see in industry right now.
Don't go on math but get the gist.
1. 9 of 10 developers are Web developers
2. 9 in 10 developers want to be data scientist
3. 9 out of above actually give up and start doing Web development
4. 9 in 10 developers think CS education is not necessary.
5. 9 in 10 developers want to work for Google Facebook and Microsoft.
6. 9 in 10 developer don't make it to above companies.
7. 9 in 10 developers think design and test are important but never do it.
8. 9 out of 10 developers don't want to code after 5 years and just want to exit industry to non technical roles.
9. 9 out of 10 developers don't get rants and dev memes posted here.
What's your take on this7 -
Took me 9 hours to write what ended up being a 10 line function to sort messages and replies in the proper order.
I at least knew it would employ recursion, but goddamn... 9 hours.
Fuck sakes7 -
At 9, I wanted to create a video game, I learned how to use RPG Maker, then Ruby with RGSS then C, then HTML, CSS... And now I'm here, 9 years later :p1
-
The client just complained that the website looks problematic on Internet Explorer 9. FUCK YOU!!! FUCK INTERNET EXPLORER! FUCK ALL OF THIS!!!3
-
Why does this even exist??😢
Translation:
Knowing the road on the Internet with Internet Explorer 9.
5 -
Unreal Engine SDLC:
1. Start Epic
2. Wait
3. Start Unity
4. Wait
5. Open Project
6. Wait
7. Wait more
8. a bit longer...
9. (it usually crashes here, or freezes, in which case go to 1)
10. Game opened, make modifications in C++ codes
11. Wait VS to load
12. Wait VS to parse all the file in solution
13. Make changes
14. Compile
15. Run from Unreal
16. (sometimes, go to 9)
17. Goto 9
18. 9
19. Goto 9
20. Congrats on finishing the game, and losing your patience8 -
It is true what they say; Designers are from Omicron Persei 7, Developers are from Omicron Persei 9.
2 -
Someone else always have git log like this??
Or just me? 😂 ;-)
commit 6e71f545c3
Author: ShellAddicted
Date: Sat Sep 9 02undefined21 2017
it Works!!!
commit 6ac2c98bf
Author: ShellAddicted
Date: Sat Sep 9 01undefined47 2017
works more or less
commit 411b8e12
Author: ShellAddicted
Date: Sat Sep 9 00undefined00 2017
Initial state not working.
EDIT:
I just noticed that devrantron modified (bug) my rant (see the undefined in times)3 -
I am well done, burnt and carcinogenic. The constant pressure to always produce, always post a profit, always increase, always commit, always stand-up and succeed is fucking exhausting and ultimately and totally unsustainable.
There are never any fallow years anymore, or days of rest...our dirt is dying...and the earth is weary and worn out. Antartica is getting green...grrrr, and my head is melting too.
Why the fuck can't we slow down a little bit?
#hatehashtags C#needtheocean
// allow -
Fuck backward compatibility
Because IOS 9 and Android 4.4 doesn't support arrow functions, I have to refactor almost 90% of the code4 -
Co-worker @9:00 AM: "What happened with project A?"
Me @9:01 AM: "Project B has a higher priority. Will look into project A later.*
Co-worker @9:05 AM: "Cool. Good luck with project B."
Me @9:05 AM: "Thanks."
Co-worker @11:00 AM: "Been looking into project A but could not understand what xyz means. Would you mind jumping on a call?".
Me: 😑8 -
What a fuck.. the best way to begin your day?
"We have an assistance session with client for you!". At 9 o'clock2 -
I was just informed by email that it's my 9 year anniversary at my company....
Which also means I've been working for... 9 years.
First thing I checked was whether I'm fully qualified for social security and disability.... Apparently I was qualified a long time ago.
Next thought was "it's almost 10 years since I graduated...."3 -
"On September 1, 2023, the domains registry for .COM and .XYZ will implement universal price increases of up to 9% for .COM renewals, and up to 9% for .XYZ renewals, registrations, and transfers."
sigh.6 -
I've always heard about the "if one woman can deliver a baby in 9 months, 9 can do it in a month" situation people got in. But my bos just quoted that to me since we are stuck on deadlines.2
-
Checking Android Pie changes.
First frase:
"Android 9 harnesses the power of artificial intelligence to give you more from your phone. Now it's smarter, faster and adapts as you use it."
Ok... So all Android Pies will have the possibility of becoming self-aware? If they have A.I. ...2 -
Just seeking approval for spending money. What do you guys think:
2x 1080p 24" 16:9 or
1x 1080p 34" 21:9 or
1x 1440p 34" 21:9?19 -
I've been at this company 2 years and 9 months. I never use e-mail. Evolution just runs for the calendar notices.
1 -
school internship grade 9
parents of a girl in my class run a business
they asked do they can get the computer geek -
(another) Russian roulette for devs
$jobs -l
[1]+ 642 python .....etc
$sudo kill -9 642
.... other commands here
arrow up...arrow up... (looking for jobs -l)... got it.
arrow up...
$kill -9 642
F*uck! (i remember that i have not changed the pid)
kill: no such process (luckly no damages)
anyone killed something relevant making this mistake?6 -
An open office wouldn't be so bad if the same 3 people would actually sit the fuck down once in a while and do some actual work. Distracting as hell. It's gotten so bad that I've started writing logs of how many times they get up during the day.
// the most egregious offender
// down: 9:00
// up: 9:05
// down: 9:15
// up: 9:20
// down: 9:23
// up: 9:32
// down: 9:45
// up: 9:58
// down: 10:05
// this pattern continues the entire day
And what are they doing during these exoduses?
- Answering their personal cell phone from stay at home spouses
- Throwing trash away even though they have trash bins right NEXT to their desks.
- Pacing back and forth
- Checking the thermostat
- Checking the contents of the fridge over and over
- Being an absolute asshole!12 -
I wonder if jetbrains will change my licence expiration date to a day earlier.
I get kinda depressed every time I open one of their products.
*Sigh*
1 -
when you have to validate an email address to fit the requirements of some stupid mail software
(^$|^([^<>()\[\].,;:\s@!&#$%+'{}|~*="]+(\.?[^<>()\[\].,;:\s@!&#$%'{}|~*="]+)*))@((25[0-5]|2[0-4][0-9]|[01]?[0-9][0-9]?)(\.(25[0-5]|2[0-4][0-9]|[01]?[0-9][0-9]?)){3}|(([a-zA-Z\-0-9]+.)+[a-zA-Z]{2,})$)
I'm not even sorry.6 -
In order to remain sane at the workplace, always give your 100%:
-- Monday: 23%
-- Tuesday: 17%
-- Wednesday: 26%
-- Thursday: 24%
-- Friday: 9%14 -
Another thing about Android 9:
I miss the thing where shortcuts for settings, wifi, bluetooth etc are separate from the notification drawer and you can pick by dragging down on the left or right side of the screen. Because yes, I have a 19.5x9 aspect ratio, but have you ever tried to read long notifications in portrait mode?!? Notifications are important! They need more than 1.5cm (!) of space. Yes! I measured! And this is ridiculous!
1 -
it's only 9:12 AM in the pacific northwest but hey happy new year all you people in eastern timezones7
-
We are not interested in your skills right now, but is it ok if we keep your details to maybe contact you in the future?
8/9 never hear ever from then again.
1/9 so i wasn’t good enough for you back then, and now that i have a job i am? Go f* yourself!1 -
There was a rant earlier of someone working a 9 to 5 job now which i can't seem to find, wanted to answer in regards to wk26
They were complaining about it being a boring job with boring processes and not learning anything new..
you can't say that you haven't learned something new, i bet you haven't learned a new language or technology but there are plenty of other skills to be picked up from a company that have worked for this all their lives..
I mean, these kind of companies have either seen it all already and had tons of bad experiences they are trying to avoid, or then never experienced any of them but are still trying to avoid them.
I once worked for a Japanese company in Europe. All decisions (big or small) were taken by answering with the phrase : If it isn't broken, don't fix it. As a result they had an excel with over 64k complaints in them (1 row per complaint) and their website was running on 19 Sun servers, load balanced, using php 4.2 because the technology was just too old.
Point being, plenty of things to learn, getting new experiences, even if they are bad, at least now you know, how not to do things in a certain way, but all in all, working at different places, even bad ones, gives you perspective..
And perspective is important.
Perspective is experience.
It's the bit that glues the knowledge together.
Go out and explore, don't be afraid, everyone needs bad experiences, even if it was only so we can identify the good ones. -
Monday morning ticket:
Do the Amgular Update for our webapp.
From 9 to 15...
May god have mercy on my backend developer soul.4 -
I now have further proof that Android 9's fancy Battery Management is shit:
The compass on my new (flagship) smartphone uses the air pressure sensor and the air pressure at sea level to display your current elevation. The air pressure at sea level is fetched from the weather app. And of course, the weather app has its battery policies set to auto-managed.
Can you guess what happened? "Weather app could not be found" and an elevation of -17m
Because no one thought the battery manager could decide that the weather app should not be launched by other apps. Has no one thought this through? Good thing I figured out what was happening pretty quickly.2 -
I'll just drop this here.... 9-cartoons-help-avoid-any-actual-work
http://thecooperreview.com/9-cartoo...1 -
So I have been tripoing about an idea and now is the time to start on it. I have 9 months to get money, to be able to fund myself to avoid external pressure that could scew the product.
Any ideas on raising 100,000$ in 9 months?8 -
Any good games for Android?
I have a mate 9 and almost never game because I never found any good games.4 -
Stackoverflow moderator election, time to down vote those who are going mark our question as duplicate!
https://stackoverflow.com/election/...1 -
<?php
$currentTime = getCurrentTime();
$asleep = getSleepStatus(); // true
$getUpTime = "9:30am";
while($asleep && ($currentTime >= $getUpTime)){
?>
<p>You're late!! Its <?php echo $currentTime ?>!</p>
<?php
updateStatus();
}
?>2 -
Latest promoted thread on XDA to make the list:
"how to disable forced encryption".
This is from a place that tries to be innovative. I'm half expecting a thread get promoted with the title "how to give everyone your passwords/identity/credit cards".
https://forum.xda-developers.com/ma...
3 -
So I got my GCSE results back yesterday. Its the first year with the new 1-9 grading system, and I was really hoping that I could get a 9 in computing (I did in the mock).
What I got? Well. I got 138/160 marks total. What did I need to get a 9? 140/160 marks. 2 marks off of the best grade. 2. I was so damn close.5 -
So I reverse engineered the
protocol of QONQR: World in Play and made a mitmproxy addon running locally inside termux that can see when I launch in the game and uses Termux:API to notify me when my ingame resources are replenished.
I direct the traffic through mitmproxy using Drony. I configured it so that by default Drony passes traffic directly to the internet except if it comes from the QONQR app.
The problem is that while Drony is running, there is a chance of network traffic being corrupted so I often get spammed by connection and ssl errors.
So I have to either continue sacrificimg my network integrity or stop getting assistance ppaying QONQR :-/
Does anyone know an alternative to Drony (basically an app that can connect you to a proxy without root using the android vpn api, if possible with filtering by app or ip)?
Also does anyone else have problems with drony on Android 9 or other versions? I don't really have an opportunity to test it.
Edit: It only took 4 tries to post this yay3 -
My face when I went to install Oracle’s JDK 9 on a 32-bit Windows 7 laptop and found they don’t support it anymore:
:/ -
After 2 weeks of 9 am to 9 pm working days I decided to rest a little and go home before 7pm. I'm happy because I can code for my side project...1
-
Today I'm finally going to quit to become a freelancer. Huge relief after 9 years of 9-6 frustration and dealing with management-bullshit. No more wage-slavery for me!9
-
Do you think we should have a Linux black-ops team?
In case we need to execute a `kill -9` in real life.
Like the facebook. -
So this was a conversation.
tl;dr You can't just FUCKING RECOMPILE for an older OpenGL version you dimwit!
Context: Person Y has OpenGL 3.1, my program requires OpenGL 2.1, but refused to launch with "Pixel format not accelerated"
--------
Person X - Today at 9:28 PM
Nope
or optionally compile it for old opengl
Or just use my old junk.
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
No
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
Why?
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
You don't just "compile it for old opengl"
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
I can
Btw
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
For one, Person Y has an OGL version new enough so... /shrug
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
shrug
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
And there is no way I'm ripping the rendering code apart and re-doing everything with glBegin, glVertex, glEnd guff
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
You don't have to
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
You do
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
Just use a vbo
Than a vba
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
I ALREADY USE FUCKING VBOS
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
....
There's two typws
Types
Btw one with indacys and one with out
Ones 3.0 ones 4.0
Me - Today at 9:31 PM
tl;dr. I am not rewriting half of everything for worse performance just for the sake of being compatible with even more legacy OGL, that might not even work anyway for Person Y. idc
Person X - Today at 9:32 PM
Plus if your using glut you can set the version I want to say
Also it's not worse
<Some more conversation>
Person X - Today at 9:33 PM
Btw crafted [Me] taking th lazy way as normal
Btwx500
Me - Today at 9:33 PM
Taking the lazy way eh.
You have no idea do you
Person X - Today at 9:33 PM
Yes you are
I have more of one :p
Than you think2 -
Does anybody knows if. An android app looks the same on android s8/9/10 as on A30/40 ?
I need to beta test on s8/9/10 but i dont want to buy them, so expensive. But the A series are affordable.
The samsung remote test servers never worked for me6 -
I love it when I manage to fix one bug and then 9 new appear, like a Hydra. Mythology at its finest.3
-
Principle of life 9: make America the greatest, again, I am going to work with Saturday 300 students
7 -
Saturday morning 9:30. Alright, let's crack this case. Automated PG backups of DB in a docker swarm attempt 5.
-
If there are only three tabs on Google Chrome, how can there be 9 services running on the system?
Any medium can explain?23 -
So yeah, Java 9 got delayed by another 4 months...
I'm going to get my CompSci degree before it comes out, and I have two more years to go!!!
http://mail.openjdk.java.net/piperm... -
The one day a year when the American date format is better: 6/9
Europe date format is pretty good on 9/6 though.
🍿🍿🍿3 -
Heres a fairly useless but interesting tidbit:
if i = n
then
r = (abs(((((p)-(9**i)-9)+1))-((((9**i)-(p)-9)-2)))-p+1+1)
then r%a will (almost*) always return 0. when n = floor(a/2) for the lowest non-trivial factor of a two factor product.
Thats not really the interesting bit though. The interesting bit is the result of r will always be some product with a *larger* factor tree that includes the factor A of p, but not p's other larger factor, B.
So, useless from what I can see. But its an interesting function on its own, simply because of what it does.
I wrote a script to test it. For all two-factor products of the first 1000 primes, (with no repeating combinations, so if we calculated say, 23*31, we skip 31*23), only 3262 products failed this little formula, out of half a million.
All others reliably returned 0 for the following..
~~~
i = floor(a/2)
r = (abs(((((p)-(9**i)-9)+1))-((((9**i)-(p)-9)-2)))-p+1+1)
r%a
~~~
The distribution of failures was *very* early on in the set of factors, and once fixed at the value of 3262, stopped increasing for the rest of the run.
I didn't calculate if some primes were more likely to cause a product to fail or not. Nor the factor trees, nor if the factor trees had any factors in common between products, or anything of that nature.
All in all I count this as a worthwhile experiment.
If you want to run the code yourself, I posted it to pastebin here:
https://pastebin.com/Q4LFKBjB
edit:
Tried wolfram alpha just to see what it says, but apparently not much. Wish it could tell me more.40 -
To those with more years of experience, can software development be a 9-5 career with (almost) no studying outside of work? I want to achieve that. I want it as a source of income and to spend my free time on my hobbies and with family. Is that even possible?
note:
I love programming by the way, I'm just tired of having it taking my whole life and I want to do other things before I die...6 -
Debian 9.x for LAMP dev environnement. Installed on my Mac through VirtualBox. The VM boot in 3seconds.2
-
When writing regexes why the fuck would you not use \w instead of writing [a-zA-Z0-9] or \d instead of [0-9] or the dozen other metacharacters? Makes it so fucking hard to decrypt long regexes.2
-
Cancelled support subscription due to the app being fucked and not receiving an update in 9 months. Will rejoin once bugs are fixed.6
-
The programmer day is the 256th day of the year (nerdish mind-blow). Why the QA/tester day was yesterday (9/9) I have no idea.3
-
Our working hours is 9 to 6, but it feels embarrassing to go home at 6 because you are expected to work overtime.5
-
I don't look forward to iOS 10. They broke so much on iOS 9 as an Enterprise developer. I am scared. Haha!1
-
I'm trying my first withdraw. I requested at 7/7/2020. Freelancer.com says I'll receive my money on 23-24 July. Today is the 24th of July and now it shows I'll receive money on 9-10 July. But 9-10 July has been gone. Can anybody tell me what is the problem and what's going on?
6
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