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Peer review is a life saver!!! My colleague just saved me my job as i almost published this fucking block to production.
18 -
Imagine, you get employed to restart a software project. They tell you, but first we should get this old software running. It's 'almost finished'.
A WPF application running on a soc ... with a 10" touchscreen on win10, a embedded solution, to control a machine, which has been already sold to customers. You think, 'ok, WTF, why is this happening'?
You open the old software - it crashes immediately.
You open it again but now you are so clever to copy an xml file manually to the root folder and see all of it's beauty for the first time (after waiting for the freezed GUI to become responsive):
* a static logo of the company, taking about 1/5 of the screen horizontally
* circle buttons
* and a navigation interface made in the early 90's from a child
So you click a button and - it crashes.
You restart the software.
You type something like 'abc' in a 'numberfield' - it crashes.
OK ... now you start the application again and try to navigate to another view - and? of course it crashes again.
You are excited to finally open the source code of this masterpiece.
Thank you jesus, the 'dev' who did this, didn't forget to write every business logic in the code behind of the views.
He even managed to put 6 views into one and put all their logig in the code behind!
He doesn't know what binding is or a pattern like MVVM.
But hey, there is also no validation of anything, not even checks for null.
He was so clever to use the GUI as his place to save data and there is a lot of parsing going on here, every time a value changes.
A thread must be something he never heard about - so thats why the GUI always freezes.
You tell them: It would be faster to rewrite the whole thing, because you wouldn't call it even an alpha. Nobody listenes.
Time passes by, new features must be implemented in this abomination, you try to make the cripple walk and everyone keeps asking: 'When we can start the new software?' and the guy who wrote this piece of shit in the first place, tries to give you good advice in coding and is telling you again: 'It was almost finished.' *facepalm*
And you? You would like to do him and humanity a big favour by hiting him hard in the face and breaking his hands, so he can never lay a hand on any keyboard again, to produce something no one serious would ever call code.4 -
Someone drugged me last saturday.
I almost died, friends and family said.
Still recovering from it...8 -
I'm freaking the fuck out.
After months of learning from bootcamp and on my own, after a month of no resumes replied to, after almost giving up I finally got a job opportunity in front-end web development.
The thing is, I have to pass their online test to verify my JavaScript-fu.
3 hours.
4 tasks.
And I feel like garbage who can't understand even the most basic algorithms.
By the power of Grayskull, I don't think I have the power...
Wish me luck.16 -
Thank fuck I was so early at work today.
As I did walk past the server room I heard something really loud behind the door. I was still in zombie mode (It was way too early, usually I´m here 2 hours later...), so just stood there looking at the door for a while.
Needed about 3 to 4 slow thoughts to decide what the fuck is happening.
My last thought was just: Man why is it so loud here. That´s the server room. Oh fuck!
The second I opened the door this rancid burning hot air straight out of satans anus almost melted my face off.
The servers were trying to maintain their cooling by almost puking out their guts with the those poor little fans they have.
Turns out one of the air conditioners failed and the backup didn´t start. So I started it manually.
Where the fuck is the admin? That´s not my fucking job!
What the fuck am I doing here so early?9 -
!dev && feelsbadman
I don't know what to think.
All I know is that I just went reaaaaal close to a disaster.
Friday morning, my "scariest" manager (as in, if you have to meet with him, it's usally for something serious) told me that he needed to see me on monday (so today) with the lead dev, the project manager and the dude who recruited me.
The meeting was like an arena of 4 vs 1, where they all 4 had problem with the work I do, as in I make a lot of small but stupid mistakes that wastes everyone's time. As an excuse, I suffer from sleep apnea so I wake up as tired I am when I go to sleep, and I snore loud as fuck. I've heard some records, it's not even human. (I'm 1m85-ish for 125 kg, it's BIG but with my morphology it's not like I'm a ball of fat)
Anyway. And since it's not the first time they're reproaching me this kind of stuff, they were all... really angry. Because I'm a nice guy, competent and all but not productive enough and easily distracted.
So, when the manager asked me to meet me, it was to fire me. However, during the lunch break, the lead dev found a solution: I get out of the current project I was in until this morning, and I write all the functional tests for all the projects, because they all lack quality and we sometimes deliver regresses.
They proposed me this in a way I could refuse, and I'd get fired because they had no other options. Obviously, I said yes, I'm not stupid enough to decline a possibilty to avoid a monstruous shitstorm that would have cut me my studies, the money for taxes, and a lot of fun to find a job as fast as possible.
But what surprised me the most is that they were genuinely glad I accepted, like, even though I made my shit ton of mistakes, they weren't pleased at all to get rid of me.
And in a way, I'm the one who won in this story, since I don't have to work with Drupal anymore, excepted to parse the website to write my tests, but my nightmare fuel is finally gone *.*
I don't know where to finish with this rant, but I needed to vent this whole thing, to write it somewhere so I can move forward.
I wish y'all a nice week.3 -
That feeling when you could not solve a Problem for hours and it almost drives you crazy. Then the next day you look at it again and almost solve it instantly3
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- be the most productive member in the team and everyone dumps their tasks on you.
- be the laziest person in the team and everyone sees you as a bottleneck.
- be the senior + the laziest person in the team and you can complain about others being a bottleneck and dump your tasks on the most productive member.
fml ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮3 -
Stackoverflow, the place in which those who search for Javascript will almost certainly leave with jQuery.9
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"I'm almost done, I just need to write some tests"
Almost all fail
"Okay, maybe I need a few more days"4 -
The IT guy at client made a spaghetti code website to replace their time entry software. I come in to “finish it up in a week to two” (just me). I start by removing 1200+ lines of convoluted data access code that doesn’t work, SQL injection prone too. I quickly gave up and started from scratch; just copyied some of his actually decent HTML.
Friday, he proceeded to try to install node on the server and run main.JS. Now he’s all concerned my repo is too complex because he can’t deploy a static website 🙁
He didn’t ask me how it gets deployed nor did he listen when I said “node is NOT THE BACKEND we have .NET core for that”.🤦♂️
I’m gonna spend a week writing documentation at 5th grade level and hand holding him so he understands how this code works because he’s going to be the one maintaining it.1 -
Help this DevRanter for Christmas! I'm 8++ removed from the amazing stressball on one of my rants!14
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When I was about 13, I opened up command prompt on Windows, and changed the color of it to green then ran the tree command. So, not thinking of anything, this was in the library in front of about 60 people and 2 teachers.
All others saw was green text going down fast, and instantly presumed that I was hacking since they knew I was into coding and finding exploits, and just knew how to use a computer better than them in simple terms (HACKER MAN). Thus this lead to me getting sent to the principal's office... I almost got suspended cause I ran the tree command in green.
Two questions for me remain unanswered, that I would love to know. What would've happened if command prompt was printing text in red. Another question becomes, what would've happened if people saw me pinging Google or some popular site.4 -
I think I've reached a new level of procrastination, where I write the whole program in a comment in pseudocode instead of actually writing it in a programming language.
5 -
Did you know Chris Sawyer developed rollercoaster tycoon almost entirely in assembly?
Almost as impressive as Temple OS.6 -
My stickers have just arrived! So happy! Also just over 50++ remaining till stressball! So excited to be part of this! Thanks @dfox
3 -
What are your (almost) "permanently open softwares" on your computer ?
Mine are discord, rocketchat and sublime32 -
When i started uni almost 2 years ago i made a bet with myself to finish the first year without drinking even one single cup of coffee.
Right now i have realized that i almost finished my second and i drank 5-6 cups in all my life.7 -
Dear bug,
Can you please just go away? I'm away from home right now so I can't do much, I did a lot yesterday to try and get you to leave. Thank7 -
I got out of bed so fast because I wanted to do something on my computer. Now, I'm sitting here trying to remember what it was!4
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That awkward moment when I was one step way from buying a program for 49$ and ending up using GitBook editor for markdown files for free.
Ya I know, but I suck at markdown files and I needed a decent editor lol
it is a nice editor though: https://www.gitbook.com/editor -
Just a quote i like:
"Remember: when people tell you something's wrong or doesn't work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong." — Neil Gaiman -
"Your disk is almost full..." Hmmm... I can't deal with this right now - so I search for npm_modules and just delete all of those folders... 5 minutes later - trash is empty... and the disk is not almost full.1
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I honestly owe everything to my buddy in our startup. He has taught me how to think in Javascript and that is why I am where I am. We fight almost everyday on almost everything, but there is Noone I respect more than I respect him..
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*literally any arithmetic operation which is hideously wrong*
Almost every JS dev : Is this JavaScript?1 -
Coding is essentially problem solving with almost immediate feedback. Video games are also problem solving with almost immediate feedback.
That's probably why most Coders love video games. That and the fact that most people love video games anyway. -
What a week!!
Seriously exhausted. Crunch time to launch a brand new service... Pulling all nighters and stress.
Looking forward to having many beers with the boss to celebrate once it's a done and dusted. -
Last 24 hrs have been fucking bad for me. No electricity for almost 22 hours and the inverter died after 12 hours. The foods gone bad in fridge, have been away from almost everything. My phone was at 10%, luckily power bank saved me but now power bank is almost empty (because mi has a huge battery and power bank was only 75%). Don't know what fucking bad things gonna happen now.12
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I got no words to explain their lack of knowledge about how the world as they know it was developed.
2 -
When you apply to a job and almost, but not quite, have all the skills needed.
Whelp! Time to get my Google on! -
My second monitor is about to die...
10 years on service for a plasma monitor.
This monitor is the last surviving piece of two of the most important moments of my life. I was dating the woman of my life which I let go away and was int he Army...
Past is past, still... -
K guys... Don't expect to hear much from me for a few days...
Not like jase. It's just....
I upgraded my CNC last night with "real" steppers (only need one more for Z)
I just got my 3D printer and have a puzzle to mount...
First pieces I'll do (after tests and learning curve) are pieces for my third CNC lol2 -
This Character Can Crash Almost All Apps on Apple Devices...but but apple is the best /s
https://thurrott.com/mobile/ios/... -
Almost out of highschool, looking at the requirements for programming jobs is terrifying. I can't afford college but almost every job needs a bachelor's. Hoping for a company that sees the value of training from the base level5
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I had a dream about the end of the world. Corona won. Almost nothing works, almost all the people are dead. But we are, with those who are still alive, chilling and having fun looking at destroyed, burning Golden Gate.7
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Behing fuked almost every day because others don't clean after them... Like... I'm the only one who doesn't reply back, so... Almost every fuking day...
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Yesterday i almost made my phone dead. The most expensive pad in my life xD
But i ws managed to do hard recovery. Watch thenewest superSU update.1 -
I just received my precontract to start in Septmber!!! I've been with my current company for almost 5 years, almost lost myself for ever and any remaining will to live, but finally I'm leaving this dump.
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I'm switching from that thing that is 'almost done' to another thing that was also 'almost done' months ago... and now going to spend some hours just getting reacquainted with it.
:P1 -
I almost made it an entire day without being drug into some arbitrary meeting. Then I got drug into one about a project that's been on the back burner for three years that I'm not going to have any say in. Almost had it. So close.4
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When someone does a not-very-thorough mass rename but doesn't check if it causes problems in already tested sections.1
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How did you guys feel when you graduated? More of a feeling of relieve that it's over or sad like what do I do now?13
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*almost lunch time*
[client] hey there's another field we missed out
*almost time to clock out*
[client] hey the app became sentient and we need you to defeat the AI uprising ASAP.
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Almost stuck with manual state management for JS. Dealing server side rendering manually. [almost crazy]
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Custom software deployment for a big conference in Berlin worked perfectly. Almost didn't need to open visual studio the whole trip.
That almost never happens.
Bye bye Berlin, until next time. -
"highly" is highly used, overused and abused when its used almost everywhere! highly fucking annoying.1
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Your eyelashes: yep, decent, almost look like they’re really there, although almost nonexistent without mascara, but you got used to it
Meanwhile my eyelashes:
4 -
A prototype I'm working on has a feature that fetches thousands of db rows. feature is running 'slow' according to everyone except me and my pc. I can speed up one section slightly by splitting a JSON array into two parts to reduce calls for the 3rd party assets because that's probably the cause.
Still doesn't 'work', says the hapless technoweenies. more troubleshooting.
The cause is Mozilla on a single computer chokes on a 3rd party api, in this case Mapbox.
How do I 'make mapbox run faster' on Mozilla?
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