A guy and a girl are in a Java seminar.

Afterward, the guy approaches the girl and asks, "Hey gurrl, can I get your number?"
Girl says "Sorry, I don't give out my number, it's private."
Guy says, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were in the same class!"

I'm browsing DevRant, giggling to myself, my girlfriend asks to see why I'm laughing,

I show her...
*Stares at it with a blank look on her face*
"I don't get it, explain it for me please"

I explain that: even if I explain it to her, she STILL wouldn't understand.

2 hours later she's made her first "Hello World" Java App so she can join DevRant 😂😂😂

Even though I don't like Java that much 😂

Overheard from a sales call (involving web templates):

"Sometimes I really don't get our devs. They come up with all these ridiculous meaningless acronyms for everything, and yet they go mental if you dare shorten Javascript to Java."

Phone call...
Caller: we contact you to arrange an interview for Java developer position, what time is good with you?
Me: Sorry Sir, I am javascript developer not Java developer!
Caller: You mentioned in your CV that you are using Java and Ayax for building applications!
Me: Trust me Sir, I don't have any relationship with your Ayax...
Caller: No problem, we can discuss this small technical difference in the interview. When you are available for it?
Me: No Sir, I am not available.

don't mess with java 😂😂😂

Girl: you don't...see sharp
Me: I'm... Not a Java developer
Girl: I never said you were
Me: but why make that joke?
Girl: what joke? You hit your head on a beam tripped over a chair and missed your drink. You clearly need glasses
Me: *gets glasses* oh your not a girl 😳

At our first programming course at uni (it was in C), a student asks in class:
Student: what is a pointer?
Teacher: i don't know, i only know Java.

How the hell did the poor guy end up teaching C then?!

I don't discriminate fellow devs. i don't care if you write Java or PhP, I don't care what OS you use to code, I don't care if all your software are free or not, I don't care what framework you use, I don't care about all this. The important part is being a dev. But, those bastards using light theme can go fuck themselves. 🤣

I actually took the time to explain to a recruiter that java != JavaScript... He told me they were similar enough... I put it in terms he'd understand: "If you want to make money, you need to understand that they are not similar. If you keep saying they are and send your clients a dev with no java experience, you'll lose clients. if you send devs to a place that's looking for something they don't know, you'll lose devs. Your pitch reeks of desperation and you'll be out of the business within a year unless you actually start listening to the people who know the tech."

I almost felt bad, but... He kept pushing when I said no, haha.

A recruiter called me today. I had to barracade myself in the laundry room to hear him, and still needed to ask him to repeat himself 7-8 times. he spoke at what must have been 15% volume with a super thick Indian accent. He also couldn't pronounce a full third of the terms.

Here's how it went.

recruiter: you full-stack dev? what experience?
me: yes, about 8 years, maybe 10.
recruiter: you know C#?
me: no.
recruiter: you know java? tomcat? spring?
me: no, I don't know Java.
recruiter: you know react? angular? apache? node?xml? json? html?
me: yes. yes, angular 1. yes, yes, ...
recruiter: ok, i email you java job posting
me: I don't know java.
recruiter: ok, i email you.

Recruiter used "email java job posting." It wasn't very effective.
Recruiter moves quickly! Recruiter used "did you get my email? email" immediately after. It was super effective! @Root becomes angered!

Recruiter calls.
Recruiter calls.
@Root becomes enraged!

Recruiter calls.
recruiter: what [???] [?] [???] [??] java [???] [??] [???] okay
recruiter: You know C#?
me: No, I still don't know C#.
recruiter: ok thank you for time. 😡 *click*

What just happened?
I really don't understand their species.

- We need an android app. Can you do this?
+ Never done that, but I can try.
- Do you even know Java?
+ Not really, but I'll learn fast!
- Any OOP experience?
+ Well...I know CPP.
- 😐

- Will you give me a prototype tonight?
+ Don't know. How about tomorrow?
- Ok.
...

+ *makes a prototype in couple of hours, becomes a Java developer*

Just like that.

Don't know what is worst: that they offer to teach Visual Basic on 2018, or that they "invented" Visual Java.

Seriously?

Don't like where Java is going

Coming from C# background, I don't think I will ever be able to consider Java code beautiful 🙄🙄

Manager: we use <teaming meeting service> for all of our team meetings.
Me: cool I'll go to the site and join the meeting.
Me: [using opera as default browser]
Service: [doesn't work with opera]
Me: [not really surprised, tries firefox]
Service: I need java to run me.
Me: I have java.
Firefox: yeah but I don't.
Me: why?
Firefox: 'cause we're phasing it out.
Me: [looking for some kind of plugin]
Internet: [tldr Firefox can only use 32bit java if it must use java]
Me: [installs 32 bit java]
Firefox: nah.
Me: waht?
Firefox: [covering its eyes] I can't see anything
Me: it's right there.
Firefox: ...
Me: ...
Firefox: ...
Me: ... please?
Firefox: ...nah...
Me: [checks service supported browsers]
Service: on Linux: ONLY FIREFOX
Me: .... fuck...
Me: [downloads Linux-32 distro]
Me: [runs as vm]
Me: [installs Firefox esr]
Me: [installs java-32]
Me: [manually creates plugin for Firefox to recognize java]
Me: [logs onto service and signs in]
Service: Meeting concluded 26 minutes ago.

Asked a girl in my team if she knows JavaScript, her reply is "I don't know Java".

* facepalm *

C#? Should have used Java
Java? So much boilerplate, use node
JavaScript? Terrible language, get some types
Typescript? Lipstick on a pig
PHP? Gross
React? Should have used Angular
Angular? Should have used Vue
Vue? Why aren't you using jQuery + HTML
VSCode? Use vim instead

Stfu, no one gives a shit about your biased closed minded opinion. Your users really don't care what technology you use, so long as they're happy.

On my annoying radar today - devs who learn one language and then *insist* on using it for everything, even when it makes absolutely zero sense.

"Ooh I'd like to do some microcontroller development. But I only know Java. How do you run Java on a microcontroller?"

"...You don't."

"...but I heard a talk where someone did it. Look, there's this microjava page. How do I use it?"

"It's an interesting technical demo, but that's it. Dude, just learn C. It's not hard, Java has C style syntax anyway and this way you can...."

"...but I only want to use modern programming languages. C is irrelevant these days, it's pointless me learning it."

"It's definitely still relevant if you want to program a microcontroller."

"...but I want to do that in Java."

🤦‍♂️

I just found out that there is a method in Java/Android called "Log.wtf()" which stands for...

... What a Terrible Failure!
Don't believe me? See for yourselves! (way to go, guys!)

Conversations between 2 java programmers.

Me: How it's possible that your code works?
Frank: I don't know. I try 10 times, and each time, I get an error.
Then I take a break...
Eat a humburger, play ping pong, drink coffee.
Me: That's it?
Frank: Yes
Me: I need a break...

Got fired.
Fuck
3 days on the job...
Told on the interview I didn't know the machine OS but I could learn in a few days...
Well they want someone with experience on that machines I don't know...

It's like asking a Javascript programmer to work with Java...

Whatever...
There are more companies

When someone at work says your Java multi threaded code is too advanced for other people to understand so you have to dumb it down. What part of constant learning in software they don't understand?

Everyone in the class on the first day of college "I like programming, Java, C,C++". They don't even know that JavaScript and Java are different. Now I have to work with them on projects for 2 years. 😭
P.S. First Rant!

I tried to learn Java by watching tutorial videos on YouTube. After falling sleep on chapter 3, the next day I started programming in JavaScript.

Don't ask how, don't ask why.
And yes, I thought that Java and JavaScript was the same... For about 5 minutes until finding StackOverflow.

Good times.

Please Java and all java shit, take more memory I don't need it -_-
16GB doesn't seem to be enough to have a VM and Android Studio Open but it is more than enough to have
1. Visual Studio
2. SQL Server Management Studio
3. VM
4. FireFox
5. Visual Studio code

Fuck. This. Shit!

Idea:
What about creating a virtual-devduck?
A duck on the bottom of the screen that sometimes does weird stuff and says something so you can talk to her and try to debug

I want to do this but I don't think it's possible with Java :(

So, I've been a programmer for 2 years and still don't like coffee.
Do I need therapy? Am I the chosen one? Should I switch to Java?

Divorced Ruby (only thing she has is her beauty)

Married Java(powerful but hard to cope up with)

In love with Python (Powerful and beautiful)

Have a crush on Kotlin (She is something else, sadly she is Java's friend)

In an Affair with C# (Like java but easier to deal with)
😂😂

#Love gone wrong 😝

(Just a joke try to see the humor in it. Don't get offended 😂. Thank you. )

My Interview question was simple, just :
Create an algorithm using **JAVA** accepting row input which output corresponding diagram :

1.
*
**
***
****

2.
*
**
***
****

3.
54321
4321
321
21
1

I said, well this going to be easy. Turns out they give me one sheet of FUCKING PAPER. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? THIS IS JAVA NOT A FUCKING PYTHON.

But in the end i complete the test except i don't write the :

public stupid static motherfucking main(String[] dick){}

in every single number. Got Zero in the test. Didn't get the job.

I win.

Why is Java so comfy?

I don't know why, but every time I try to use Javascript and Python I feel lost in those functional gimmicks and fancy libraries.

Java feels like the warm, soft old couch at home.

Had a recruiter contact me at home on my day off.

Recruiter: We have a company that would be interested in hiring a C# developer because of your programming skillset.

Me: Does it involve ASP.NET?

Recruiter: Yes.

Me: I apologize, but I don't have any skills in ASP.NET. I've been instead focusing on building my skillset with Java Spring/Hibernate and soon JavaScript to start building front end skills with my backend skillset.

Recruiter: Oh, is Java an in demand skill that companies want?

....Why are you talking to me mate? Take off your headset, go home, and rethink your life choices.

Just looking at code, my colleague ("Senior Java Developer"), wrote...

if (process == "null") {...}

As you can guess, process is a String.

I just don't know what I can tell him. It's just so wrong, in every possible way...

"Can you get me free in app purchases?"

"Well i mean lucky patcher is kind of a gray area but I guess if y-"

"Can't you just have it with the command prompt?"

"I don't know CMD, I know Java."

"But you said you could code!"

OH MY GOSH SHUT THE CRAP UP. I AM NOT INTERESTED. I DON'T EVEN CODE JAVA.

I'm a JavaScript developer. And I don't respond to this spam. Ugh!!!!!

Am I the only one who is triggered by seeing all of the stupid articles claiming Java is bad introduction language? Just becuase Standford decided to change it to JavaScript? What the actual fuck? How students should learn the fundamentals concept of OOP in scripting language?
Don't get me wrong, I hate using Java for real life projects. But there is a reason why almost every university use it as introduciton language. It's great start to learn programming. Saying that the 'Hello World' in Java is complex and can scare people away, it's complete nonsens. For fuck sake, yes programming should be fun, but it is also hard. People can understand that they are going to learn what 'public static voiď means later. It's the structure of many Computer Science classes. It's the assigments that are not designed in engaging and fun way for newcomers. That's the problem, not the language.

Real Java programmers don't die. They just get garbage collected...

Nevermind...

That moment when your at a career fair and a non-tech recruiter won't hire you because you don't have the paper experience but the tech recruiter is questioning a guy with "5 years of Java experience" who can't answer what an anonymous inner class is.

Went to an introductory session for the new version of the lousy CMS my organization uses and on the second slide of the presentation WRITTEN BY THE BIG BRITCHES OF THE IT DEPARTMENT they informed us that the CMS removes the necessity to learn languages for web programming like HTML, CSS, and Java. My first thought is "huh why would I need Java for... wait..." You could see the thoughts crossing my mind.
"Wait a minute... Who writes Java applets anymore? Java isn't.... but what if... no... they wouldn't..."
For the holy love of Bill, YOU ARE THE IT DEPARTMENT. Please don't tell me you misguided cactus-heads just mixed up JavaScript and Java on an official document you're using in presentations for everyone using the system? It hardly did anything to inspire overwhelming confidence. And even if it was handled by somebody whose entire job is to write PowerPoints for these things, who reviewed this thing? Dilbert's boss? And that wasnt even the only soul-scorching error. Sweet mother of Tux, people, I'm a student using your system, your professional presentations shouldn't make me cringe.

"C Vectors, Python Lists and Java Arrays are all the same things!" - my IT professor.

He's really talented... :D Don't you guys think? And the fun part is that these "gems" are quite common lately...

I hope I'll graduate soon ;_;

Fuck project setups that

- Have huge nested enterprise folder structures like Java

- Use tons of shell scripts / makefiles

- Have every config file in the root folder

- Don't tell me what I need / how to build

I know some of these can't really be changed easily, but fuck this cluttery mess!

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
What do you code, anyway?

Pvt. Cowboy:
SIR, JAVA, SIR!

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
JAVA? Holy dogshit! Only steers and queers code in Java!! And you don't much look like a steer to me so that kind of narrows it down. Do you suck dick?

Pvt. Cowboy:
SIR, NO, SIR!

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
I BET YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY WHO'D WRITE LEGACY CODE AND NOT HAVE THE COMMON COURTESY TO WRITE ANY COMMENTS.

*** don't use compiler ***
Question in class today:
int n = 0;
for (int i = 1; i < 10; i++) {
n = n++;
System.out.println(n);
}

what will be printed?

If I have a bug in my Java program, please don't tell me "Use Python. It has a library for that, you can do it in 2 lines".

Motherfucker, I'm not asking for a solution in Python, nor am I asking you to pick my language for me. The rest of the project is in JVM languages, and I'm not gonna rewrite the whole damn thing so i can use your precious little script-kiddie language

If I show you Java code, I don't want Python. I never want Python. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS FLUFFY, STOP TRYING TO FORCE-FEED ME PYTHON

A LOT of this article makes me fairly upset. (Second screenshot in comments). Sure, Java is difficult, especially as an introductory language, but fuck me, replace it with ANYTHING OTHER THAN JAVASCRIPT PLEASE. JavaScript is not a good language to learn from - it is cheaty and makes script kiddies, not programmers. Fuck, they went from a strong-typed, verbose language to a shit show where you can turn an integer into a function without so much as a peep from the interpreter.

And fUCK ME WHY NOT PYTHON?? It's a weak typed but dynamic language that FORCES good indentation and actually has ACCESS TO THE FILE SYSTEM instead of just the web APIs that don't let you do SHIT compared to what you SHOULD learn.

OH AND TO PUT THE ICING ON THE CAKE, the article was comparing hello worlds, and they did the whole Java thing right but used ALERT instead of CONSOLE.LOG for JavaScript??? Sure, you can communicate with the user that way too but if you're comparing the languages, write text to the console in both languages, don't write text to the console in Java and use the alert api in JavaScript.

Fuck you Stanford, I expected better you shitty cockmunchers.

As a Java guy starting to learn about JavaScript I have one question.

WHY ARE THERE 20,000 VERSIONS OF JAVASCRIPT???! WHAT MAD GOD APPROVED OF THIS AND HOW DO WE KILL HIM?

...I don't actually think it's that bad of a language though. :^)

Don't start teaching them in a language with a lot of overhead (Java). They spend too much time memorizing the class/method stuff before they even get there. Use python instead.

JavaScript classes don't need private fields. JavaScript doesn't even need classes.

STOP TRYING TO TURN JAVASCRIPT INTO JAVA.

My best friends and I use to send coded messages to each other while we were in University. His would be in latin (I don't know Latin), and mine were in java ( he doesn't know any programming languages).

I don't know how to really put this but a professor at my university thinks adding a space in java program will help to execute code successfully .I am rethinking over my decision to join university

Imagine if programming languages were also written in different regional languages like Java in german,hindi,spanish.
Recruiters will reject you by saying u don't know java in Spanish.We need a java expert in Spanish.😁😁

Why don't people like Java? With only a year of AP comp sci for experience, I don't know enough about it to say I do or don't like it. But it's widely used, and is an official language of Android. Are the people hating on Java just people that don't use it? Or is there something about Java that people just genuinely despise?

I'm sick and tired of reading jokes about PHP, JavaScript and Java. They reflect the situation from 10 years ago. Modern state of the languages is much nicer, lots of problems have been addressed. People don't realize how irrelevant their jokes really are. If your language of choice is stagnant and has not changed, you should not extrapolate.

Why do most Java programmers know Java and nothing else? Wtf, every time find myself reviewing crappy Bash/Python/JavaScript/Ruby shit written by Java-only programmers I want to puke. Don't you know that the world is bigger than your small island?

Frustrated, tired and a bit lost.

I'm a "Senior PHP Backend Dev", which includes not the greatest tech stack nor the best job title, but it pays fine, and the company is awesome to work for.

I suck at writing features, but I'm great at bitching, and I easily put complex abstract concepts into usable models. So I'm also QA, tester, tech lead, database architect, whatever.

That makes writing PHP less annoying, because I create the rules, and whip devs around when they forget a return type definition or forget to handle an edge case. But I don't write a lot of code anymore, I mostly read (bad) code.

Lately I REALLY feel like doing something else... problem is that I know JS/ES6, but really dislike React/Vue and the whole crappy modern frontend toolchainchootrain of babelifyingwebpackingyarnballs. I know Python/Tensorflow/etc, but don't feel like I want to go into data science or AI. And then I'm awesome at the shit no one uses, like Haskell, Go and Rust (and worse).

I got a job offer which combines a very interesting PHP codebase with a Java infrastructure, where I could learn a lot... and I'm kind of tempted.

Problem is, everyone always shits on Java. I always made a bit of fun of Java myself. Don't even know exactly why, probably some really cruel instinct which causes kids to bully the least popular kid.

I know the basics, I've written the hello world, and a small backend app for a personal project. I know how strict and verbose it can be. I love the strictness in Haskell and Rust.... but those are both also quite terse.

Should I become a Java dev? I'm not talking about Android SDK, but an insane enterprise codebase at a life sciences corporation.

To the pro Java devs: What are the best and worst things about your job, about the weekly processes, about the toolchains? Have you ever considered other languages? Do you unconditionally love and believe in Java, or do you believe Swift, Kotlin, Scala or whatever will eventually make it completely obsolete?

Will Java hasten my decline into the cynical neckbeard I was always destined to be?

There are a lot more fun langauges, but looking at realistic demand and career value...

Can we clear this once and for all... Explain java and JavaScript like this...

They are like apple and pineapple...

In a recipe you wouldn't go yeah I could substitute in the other ... Because they are entirely different things ... Similar names... Entirely different !

We get it... They are different fucktards don't ... We get it... Ok....

All the time while I'm programming I hate Java.... Don't hate me now :D I'm learning Java in high school. I very love very fast programming languages such as C and C++, so this is why I don't like Java, but there are some reasons why I like Java. I just started learning how to create own window. What the hack is this? This is so simple. I tried to create window in C/C++ with OpenGL, just blank window with color. Complicated..... But with java it's fairy tale.
You can add me now to Java familly, but remember I also love C++.

So here your are, Hello World Java FX app :D

Final goal:
Create window application similar scratch.

so java thinks any jdk different from what the jre is targeting is "out-of-date", you should learn this in "how to not look like an idiot 101" programming class in elementary school. oracle.

Java
It's my favorite language because I started learning programming in Java when I was in school.
The most annoying thing in Java is I don't feel like writing System.out.println each time.

We don't need no vim
We don't need no C++
We don't need no Internet
We don't need no devRant
We don't need Java
We don't need Windoze
We don't need spaces for indentation
We don't need School

*passive aggressive smiley*

"I don't care if this is much simpler in a native language! This is going to be written in Java" *even though it's only going to run on a single Windows machine*

As long as a .jar comes out I'm fine...

Been programming Java for a few weeks now, and WTF is this, Java?!
"Example".equals("Example")

What is wrong with the form that a dozen of other languages use?
"Example" == "Example"

P. S. If you don't know Java, the latter one compares for the type of objects and always returns true in this case.

I don't hate Java, seriously.

I just prefer spending my first hours with a language actually programming in it rather than fixing shitty uninformative errors and learning libraries that follow no standards.

Pour your salt below.

Don't learn python, instead learn java....

Two weeks later, tell me which source is best for learning python

Kevin, we use the v2 of the Java AWS SDK. Stop dragging in your crappy v1 dependencies, in many cases *duplicating* the bloody v2 dependencies anyway, because, I quote:

"Stackoverflow and AWS don't seem to have many examples using the v2 SDK though"

Use your bloody brain and figure it out, Kevin.

Java is kind of like teenage sex--everyone is always talking about it, but in reality they don't even know what they're talking about.

#AndroidDev protip:
1. Dump Android Studio and use Sublime for a week
2. Realize you don't actually know how to write java anymore
3. Cry

I just read a rant about Java by a guy who moved from JS/python.
FFS, until now you were using some aberration of OOP by creating "objects" and making them however you want instead of sticking to concept of blueprinting and managing your classes in a way shit happens properly.
Yes, I do hate js/python-like langs if I would have to do something big in them, because I need to constraint my program so it works predictably every time. I don't feel like I'm doing that by putting some arbitrary key-value pairs into some random object :v
Java and her sexier sister Kotlin ftw and nothing gonna change my mind <3

I noticed my co-worker has been using Atom editor for everything (we do Java/Scala). I asked, "So are you using the new language servers? How are you doing code completion?"

"I don't use code completion. I turn it off."

O_o "Do you not use screwdrivers? Like do you tighten screws in by hand?"

I've know people who code Java/Scala in emacs and vim, but they still had completion, type-lookups, etc. They was a higher learning curve in knowing all the keyboard commands, but all the tools were still there. I don't get people who refuse to use tools. It's reflected in this guys works too when looking at the code reviews.

When all you have is a hammer, everything is going to look like a nail.

University Coding Exam for Specialization Batch:
Q. Write a Program to merge two strings, each can be of at max 25k length.
Wrote the code in C, because fast.
Realized some edge cases don't pass, runtime errors. Proceed on to check the locked code in the Stub. (We only have to write methods, the driver code is pre-written)
Found that the memory for the char Arrays is being allocated dynamically with size 10240.
Rant #1:
Dafuq? What's the point of dynamic Memory Allocation if you're gonna fix it to a certain amount anyway?
Continuing...
Called the Program Incharge, asking him to check the problem and provide a solution. He took 10 minutes to come, meanwhile I wrote the program in Java which cleared all the test cases. <backstory>No University Course on Java yet, learnt it on my own </backstory>
Dude comes, I explain the problem. He asks me to do it in C++ instead coz it uses the string type instead of char array.
I told him that I've already done it in Java.
Him: Do you know Java?

Rant #2:
No you jackass! I did the whole thing in Java without knowing Java, what's wrong with you!

This is from my personal experience. I've been working on an Android app, I'm a web developer tho. I don't have much experience in java but just watching a decent YouTube tutorial and getting the source code to play with, helped me more than I had hoped for.

Me: "It's a balance between three things: you either optimize for computation, memory use, or programming effort. Computers don't have a infinitely fast processors with an infinite amount of memory."

Coworker: "Did anybody tell Java?"

Le college freshman nibbas: Don't know C, Java, C++, python or any other programming language but want to do AI and machine learning!

💀🤷

I was fixing an issue where I have encountered a Java class written by a recently hired senior developer with 1K+ lines of code.
Inside that class....
One Method => 1K lines🙄🙄

I don't know where to bang my head now😐😐

When i was 12 or so, my mom bought me the java for dummies book. Don't get me wrong, thats not where i learned from, it just motivated me to find actually useful resources to do so.

New developers. Tip: There is no silver bullet.

If you like Python, please understand GIL's behavior before making a system that handles thousands of requests.

If you like Java, know that "Write once, run anywhere" is a fallacy. Even application servers don't like the same WAR.

If you like PHP, understand the life cycle of a request before connecting to the database from all corners.

If you like C#, don't make it a small command-line application that will be used on FreeBSD.

If you like C, meet valgrind.

If you like C++, templates are cool, but don't overdo it. And take the opportunity to meet valgrind.

Never use the same tool to do everything. Elect the language and framework for the given need with rationality.

Every time I see a "Java Man", a "C++ Chad" or anything like that, it comes to mind that if he were a carpenter, he would be tightening screws with hammers.

Every lock-in is bad.

LoL, I swear, some of these job ads..

- You study Java every day
- You anticipate and you follow Java trends every day
- You go to our Java events

Oh so you mean I don't have a life? No thanks.

So I finally got my senior project approved by my school's assistant principal (the one who deals with every student's project) and he said that the three forms of evidence I suggested were not enough. A quick summary of my project: I'm supposed to make a game engine in Java before April of 2017. Every student needs 3 forms of evidence that they did the project so I suggested screenshots of my work, the finished source code, and pictures of me actually working on it. In addition to all of that I would have a ton of documentation and sample projects to test different features of the engine. Well, he doesn't really understand that for a high school student, that's already enough work for a couple of years and thinks I need more evidence. So what does he do?

He requires me to find at least 5 people to test the engine and complete a survey about it. This normally wouldn't be a problem, except I'm a high school student and don't know more than 2 people who are fluent enough in Java to work on a game. And, I have to finish the project before January now to give the people enough time to work with it.

Long story short, I'm not even out of high school and I'm already experiencing the struggles of dealing with non-technical people.

Professor: "I've been using java for many, many years and know close to everything."

Student: "How do I compile my code on the unix server?"

Professor: "uhh.... I don't know."

Let's start hiring people who actually know what they're doing.

"Just use JCreator. It's better and easier to use than Eclipse or IntelliJ."

For those that don't know, jcreator is a Java ide that sucks ass. It doesn't even have a dark theme!

people always complain about semicolons but I don't think I've ever had a semicolon issue cuz of ide's. but I'm plagued by tons of other stupid mistakes, like forgetting to initialize my ArrayList<>'s in java from null to empty..

Don't start with Java but something simple like Python or Ruby or anything that doesn't need that much blob too run a Hello World! program. That was what confused me the most. And by 'start' I mean like the first few lessons, just to get started.

A: Why do Java developers wear glasses?
B: Because they don't C#

Store POJOs as json inside a database column so that we have a dynamic relational database!

For those who don't know what a POJO
*POJO: plain old Java object
Technically I was asked to store all data models as json in a single column 🙄

Customer: I want to be included in any and all design and development meeting in the future.

Me: OK, I mean, I'm just one person so there's not formal meetings as such...

Customer: Nevertheless, I wish to be included and ensure my needs are met.

Some time passes.

Me: So, I'm thinking of swapping out the old Beanshell interface, cos, really... Interpreted, scriptable Java isn't great and most users don't want to write Java just to run some jobs. Could you help me with creating an API that fits you and your departments needs?

Customer: No, I'm way to busy to deal with this right now!

Me: And when would be convenient for you?

Customer: I don't know, just not now.

To this day, despite successfully integrating the rhino js engine into the app, part of the software I develop has a bean shell interface rather than js, Python or lua.

-_- I hate bean shell...

Honestly Fuck JAVA,

Don't have anything else to say now...

Kotlin makes the development experience so much better. Humans are creatures of habit. Some don't want to change what they already know. RIP to those who still start their project in Java and do not want to adapt in this competitive world. :/

Today I was refactoring code with 10 levels of indentation. Java 8.
Lambdas.
Each one is a block which spans multiple lines, that makes the outer ones hundreds of lines long.

This should be forbidden: () -> { ... }

If you don't understand why, please never send me any code.

PS: intellij shows multiple errors on each line.

PPS: my colleague should be happy that I do not use swear words.

That feeling of regret after you get a not-so-good grade in a class because you were too advanced in the subject matter. "I already know java I don't need to go to class *miss surprise quiz and class work*" <- me in csc 101 and 102 (retook both). Moral of the story: don't learn too fast on your own if you're in school if you get bored really easily.

Why do java programmers not wear glasses?
Because they don't C sharp
BADUM TSS

im so bad,
im sorry

Wtf java.. You can't just fucking make java paid.. This is not acceptable assholes. Although I don't use java now for many good reasons. But I always had respect for it. And I used to use it.

What was the most stupid thing interview ever do to you?

My side of story. He (interviewer, also a developer) try to convince me that JavaScript and Java are the same thing. Which we all know that is not...

He said "I can't hire someone who don't know basic of computer science , this is basic that JavaScript is from Java"
(Isn't ecmascript or something?)

Saying JavaScript is From Java is a wrong statement. There are differences between having a DICK and Being a DICK.

There is something so comfy about Java that I never get from other languages.

I don't know why but I genuinely enjoy writing 200 lines of boilerplate code. Maybe it makes me feel I am in control and not some syntactic magic like in Python or Javascript.

People keep ranting on java, yet it lives on.

Just had an interview with our new potential product manager. I companioned our CEO, if technical questions arise...

First, he came to our office, to the interview, and never..never looked at our application. Neither he saw some screenshots, review's or anything related to the product. As a potential product manager...gasp

And he really tried to impress me, by mentioning what a great full stack developer he also is (LOL), with years of experience in frontend and backend.
But, since I am an android software developer, he mentioned he don't like java. But he loves java script...

Me: ehhh what? So you compare apples to oranges. Why do you don't like java? (And I could image a lot things ...)

Him: because unlike JavaScript, java is a mess when writing code.

Me: ok Iam done.

Oh really? I don't even have Java on my LinkedIn/CV, what the hell man? These freaking automated email are starting to piss me off!

Recruiters are the worst cancer in the modern job hunting

My two cent: Java is fucking terrible for computer science. Why the fuck would you teach somebody such a verbose language with so many unwritten rules?

If you really want your students to learn about computer, why not C? Java has no pointer, no passed by reference, no memory management, a lots of obscure classes structure and design pattern, this shit is garbage. The student will almost never has contact with the compiler, many don't even know of existence of a compiler.

Java is so enterprise focused and just fucked up for educating purpose. And I say it as somebody who (still) uses it as main language.

If you want your students to be productive and learn about software engineering, why not Python? Things are simple in Python can can be done way easier without students becoming code monkeys (assuming they don't use for each task a whole library). I mean java takes who god damn class and an explicitly declared entry point which is btw. fucking verbose to print something into the console.

Fuck Java.

I'm proud of a chess project I made in Java, at university. It was awful but worked!
One of the first times I did some code without googling it 😋
PS: I don't code and work in Java!

I don't want to hear about Java, JPA, JSP, Json or John ever again or i will have a mental breakdown

I'm new guy in programming. Sometimes I do compare java with python and I have weird conclusion.

Python code is shorter but for me much more "logical" & easier to read is Java. Maybe it due to fact that I don't understand what is going on under hood so shorter code feels incomplete?

Random talk with a colleague:
-How familiar are you with oop concepts?
- I don't need that, I will make my life easier instead. They say "the" Java is faster though.
-Faster from which lang?
- C.
Me: Aw shiet.

Can't believe who I share this precious air with.

So, the GUI is built by writing YANG files that are then transformed into protobufs and jsons. Protobufs are then digested by GWT to compile java into javascript and HTML. What part of the process you don't understand?
Wait, I actually don't exactly know where the jsons end up being used, but apparently they are being sent by C++ backend to GWT frontend. Somehow.

!rant, but kinda

My new director wants to buy a solution for a portal environment that my institution currently has. I have no qualms over it. My only issue was the company that sells it to be known to provide close to 0 fucking support when shit arises.

During a presentation we were told that they were using state of the art JAVA technology to render items on the page and that their ApI was easy for devs to grasp. This caught my attention since I know of very few and obscure Java frameworks that work with frontend tech (as in, your frontend logic is legit in Java)

The sales people proceed to show us React. Obviously thinking that no one knows what REact was. The dude continues with "This is new Java tech" all proud and shit prompting me to interject that it is "Javascript" the dude brushes it away saying "same thing" to which I reply with "Negative, please make sure that you properly discern Java from Javascript since Java is to Javascript as car is to carpet, completely different environments" the dude sarcastically says that "oh well, didn't know one of the people here was more aware of our own technology than we are" to which I say "and not only that, but the final say in us adopting your tech is mine, so I would rather you keep the sarcasm and the attitude to yourself, bring in a tech person if need be and learn these distinctions since we don't work with Java"

My new director later on went to talk to me since he apparently thought that Java and JS were related in some way. I can't really fault it, last time the dude touched programming was in the early 2000s, previous boss was a C and COBOL developer, but the previous dude would ALWAYS take my word no questions ask, this dude was there asking me if I was sure that Javascript and Java were really completely different environments asking me to show him.

I do not like to be questioned. I shoot the shit here and don't really involve myself with more technical aspects under this platform unless it involves concrete architecture discussions and even there I really don't care with engaging on a forum concerning that. But concerning my job I really.......really do not like to be questioned by people that know way the fuck less than me. I started coding when I was 17, I am 30 now, with a degree and years of experience. I really hate to be questioned by this dude.

Went for a dev job interview in which the senior software engineer said this...

"Javascript is like Java but scripting"

I didn't say anything to this. I don't know if it was some sort of a test (even though I was in the middle of a 4 page test for them).

Evything text and every every reference I have ever seen about Java and Javascript is that they are nothing alike. What would others have said to this?

FYI - I didn't get the job. Which I am pretty glad about as I didn't like the software engineer guy, and I don't think I would have liked working with him. He had this fake friendly exterior but the fuckwit personality was shitting through every gap in his skin.... I just noticed I used the work shitting instead of shinning, I think it is suitable so I will leave it.

Hey guys, I've hit a major snag in my dev life.

My backend/frontend Java project has hit a wall as the material I was using from Udemy on advanced Java programming was boiling down to copy and paste programming without the learning. That doesn't really work for someone with 2 years programming experience but only a good 2 months of Java knowledge. I need to learn not just follow along what's written on a screen. Thankfully I learned to give in about 2 weeks in so I didn't waste a ton of time on it.

Would books be a better option? I self taught C++ mainly from books and preferred that over videos, but when I did C# videos were mostly better than books.

And...I guess I'll open the floodgates to recommendations for other stacks. I like Java and I'd like to keep using it but I know you don't want to get married to a way of doing things. My end goal is to make an E-commerce website that I can show off in interviews about a year from now.

Please be kind, I'm feeling a bit like crap right now. :(

Editing java files on server for deployment.

Deployed. Found major issue.
Don't have time. Editing source code on server changed if else
Rebuild and deploy.
Now push from server to repo and pull locally...
Pure sin.

had to create a rather large CLI based application in Java as a graduate level assignment.

Doing shit like this makes me appreciate Node/Python/literally fucking anything else much more for this shit in which storing and retrieving JSON does not have to be that much of a fucking hassle WITHOUT using external libraries(they want it all made by hand)

I love Java, don't get me wrong, but I would rather use it for only a couple of things. I stopped working as a Mobile dev precisely because of Android being shit for Java. No, Kotlin does not fix it, its not the language that is my problem, its the fucking general architecture of the Android API that pisses me off.
And no, I do not care if you like it, like 1 fucking bit. I am not saying that the architecture is shit, I am saying that I did not like it.

Sigh.......oh well. Almost done with the assignment, but still.

Learned HTML with a 50ct book from a 1 €-shop. Got interested in forums and learned PHP by analyzing phpBB and Itschi (you probably don't know the latter). Learned Java through school though it was only the basics. Now I'm a full stack developer at a Norwegian company. Fully self-taught.

Who ever come to idea to put JavaScript as backend language is insane.

I am coming from Java and now I am doing some work on Node project and I am loosing my mind.

Everything is an object but you have no idea what are his properties. There are call back, async, sync and mix. I don't even want to try debugging. There is no classes only object and a lot of functions everywhere.

The whole story with Node versions and playing with NVM. Don't even let me talk about Node modules.

Frustration and long development.

Don't remember who but someone here told me once, when I mentioned that I do java now, "wait till you get to reflection..."
Well it's time to suffer

why do people hate java? it is the most elegant and simple language one can learn and code powerful apps and software. i don't get it

When I was first learning Java I forgot to use If statements and made about a 600 systemoutprint lines. Don't be like me

Teacher: "Classes and methods are pretty similar in java and c#. But in c they are a little different"
Me: "u cereal?"

Never say something you don't know shit about

I used to be a Java fanboy.

After seeing the modern things one can do with other languages I am just disappointed, that Java is so old-fashioned.
Some would say "BUT IT HAS LAMBDAS".
Good, that we have lambdas. We don't have optional parameters or objects (like in JS's {} or PHP's stdClass).
JVM may have many advantages, but I think, that Java is slowly dying although it is kept alive by some companies, still using Java in prod.
I think, that Kotlin is, what Java should have been.

I hope, that my wishes will be implemented in Java 10. If not, Java is considered as dead.

If Java versions can coexist on a system
If all java versions have their own packages on the AUR
If you can change envvars in a launch script and be sure that all processes of the application will persist your settings
Then why THE FUCK do package maintainers keep announcing to change the default java version to install their package, rather than explicitly doing that by themselves? Fuck off, do you really think yours is the only package that needs a specific Java version? Do you think each and every user will write their own init script, or edit the PKGBUILD to include the new version as an envvar in the desktop file? This is why Arch has a bad name, and they're fucking right. If you don't have the time to put a single motherfucking diff in the motherfucking pkgbuild to specify the java version in the desktop file, then don't fucking maintain the package. I know there are too few maintainers, but pretending to maintain a package while doing fuckall is much worse than leaving it unmaintained on the AUR so the first person who has time can pick it up.

I don't want to do web development for much longer....as in, i wanna stop fucking around with php, java, python, chashtag and whatnot and focus more on systems development. I would not mind writting servers and playing with the web as long as I don't have to see a line of html or css any longer.

Hey everyone, I am trying to learn how to become better a Java but I don't really know where to begin. I already know some of the basics and have made a few minor projects but I really want to advance. I was hoping someone could provide me with some ideas for simple yet complicated projects so that I can further my knowledge of the Java programming language.

Don't be specific on any programming languages, focus more on OOP approach, and say you know about OOD/A rather than, you know Java, C# and this and that.

why the hate on java? ok, i'm only studying applied computer sciences for a year now, we mainly saw java /javascript and i like them. personally i worked with python, c, c#, php, swift too but i still don't see the problem with java

Java, as browser plugin. (I don't mind the language though). Especially since when Oracle bought it.

I would talk about it, but I need to update that crap AGAIN!

Why people are saying Python is an easy language? I mean yes, if you write c/java code with python it may seem easy, but writing proper python code, in a pythonic way is not so easy.
SO DON'T TELL PEOPLE THAT'S IT EASY LANGUAGE because new commers later they come with absurd code and ask people to fix it.

Q: Why do real JAVA programmers wear glasses? {0_0}
A: Because they don't C#. {-_-}

Great googly moogly is Kotlin an ugly language.

If you are just starting out with Android or Java development in general, I highly recommend sticking with Java and avoid Kotlin like the plague. It feels like a meme language that was taken a little too seriously.

Full of little flowery nonsense that aims to make the language more human, but only serves to make it look like a child designed it.

I absolutely hate when a language doesn't require type declarations.

The "it" keyword rankles my underwear beyond belief.

Trying to build a dictionary/hashmap/hash felt like I was writing out an essay for school. In other languages it's straightforward and makes sense. Even PHP makes more sense.

I am obviously missing something here, because there is no way something so common and done the same way across different languages has such a wildly different approach in Kotlin.

I have as much experience with Java as I do Kotlin but it immediately makes more sense as a language and doesn't have all this flowery nonsense. It is verbose, which means I don't have to decipher what the code is actually doing when I read it.

I'm familiar with the enterprise Java meme, but I'm not writing enterprise Java, and that's not my style anyway so it doesn't affect me. But even so, that would be a million times easier to handle that Kotlin.

So I've begun working on my senior thesis for college (a full stack Java/node.js application) and a student overheard this and offered to manage my project. He has no idea how to read Java or Javascript.

....You work as a project manager in your day job don't you?

Unofficial slogans for programming languages:

Javascript - JustShitting out frameworks every week.

Python - Shit programmers become slightly less shit and call themselves "data scientists" here.

C# - We know we are better than you, and even though we don't need to say it, we will say it anyway.

Pascal - The only recognized version of Pascal is from one single vendor.

Haskell - Stay is school if you want to use this professionally.

Swift - (honestly don't know what to say here, Lensflare can fill in on this one.) Maybe this: The first rule of Swift club is we don't talk about Apple club.

Java/Kotlin - We are in everything, including your mom's vibrator.

C - The rest of the programming world doesn't exist. Especially in embedded. Happily using K & R compilers for 3 decades.

C++ - We will pretend to care about the rest of the programming world, but like C, we will do whatever the fuck we want. or, Being held back by the ABI for at least a decade.

Rust - I feel bad for you for using other programming languages.

These are probably highly inaccurate, mostly just wanted to talk about Java being in your mom's sex toy.

Am I the only one that doesn't like Java? I mean I don't hate it or say it's bad. It's pretty clear that it has been probably the most influential language after C. I just don't like how typed and verbose it is, also I feel old just using it or something based on it (like Jenkins)

Had a 3 months break from Java. Don't remember shit now...

people who says they don't trust Java garbage collectors so they use c++ has the most memory leaks

> Wants to learn something new (pref not JavaScript)
> Can't find anything that's as dope as Spring boot (java framework).
> C# sucks
> Python ain't going anywhere
> PHP is dated
> Go sounds like a good choice but so damn non-useful if you don't do ultra concurrent stuff at google

Ends up getting more used to JavaScript
Suggestions? For summer learning... Freshman year.

Easy. I've learn Bash, Python and Java just by constantly getting assigned to projects that require those languages. Also tiny bit of Perl, but I don't want to talk about this.

I was hired as a C++ developer BTW and never had contact with those languages.

"Do you know OOP in Java?"
"No, I don't."
"How about POJO?"
"I dunno too."
"Okay, so what do you know?"
"Pascal."
"Then why do you call yourself a Java programmer, dude?"
"Cuz, I'm a programmer, and I'am a Javanese."
"Oh..."

javac *.java
28 errors? Okay..

Oh I closed my class too early.
javac *.java
Okay, only 8 errors.

Oh I forgot to close my switch.
javac *.java
19 errors?!

I can see why some people don't like Java.. >.<

Tech Hiring is so cooked now. Every job posting I see is like this

Must have 5+ years experience in:

TypeScript, FastAPI, Kubernetes, Java Spring Boot, PHP, Angular, React, Vue, CI/CD, DevOps, AWS, TensorFlow, Machine Learning, Flask, Flutter, Swift, Android Studio, Blockchain, ROR, Perl, Redux, Clojure, C, C++, C#, Golang, PostgreSQL, MongoDB, DynamoDB, Java.

Please don't apply if you don't fulfill all of the requirements.

Ted, Akka is a damn Scala library. Yeah yeah, I know you can fit it into your Java project if you really want to, but damn, you just end up with ugly Java syntax that tries and fails to be Scala. Just bloody well use Scala. Or use something more Java-esque like reactor if you *really* want to do async stuff and stay in Java land. But please, please don't use Akka in Java. The thing is a mess. I know it's asynchronous which in fairness does help in this application, but seriously just....

Wait... hang on... WHAT?! You're using the whole thing in an asynchronous reactive chain then just calling join() on everything?! What do you mean it's "mostly asynchronous but just blocks at the end?!?!" Do you like watching people suffer for no purpose, Ted? Do you?

I'm leaving my team and looking for someone replacing me. The HR gave the number of a candidate for a call:
- me calling: hi, we are looking for a backend dev with at least one year experience on a jvm langage.
- the guy: oh, I was doing some java, but I don't know jvm langage.
- me: :/

He: Give me your pack babe

She: /u\

He: Don't f*ck with me that's Java

Hey guys
I'm starting my first programming intern job in a week.
It's a big company and have many projects and they liked me because I knew some Java from college.

I obviously have no industry Java experience but am looking to review the book used in my class & the projects I did.

I'm still kinda nervous a little cuz I don't have any idea what it's going to be like.

What could be advised to do while waiting a week? Any good Java brush up idea

Thanks

C++. Damn the pointers. It's because I learned Java before C++ and the memory management in C++. I don't get it ever, the object creation, memory allocation, deallocation and everything

The front for a recruiting app with Primefaces (JSF)

Guys, please, don't use Java for client-side. It was a huge headache.

You know what the best invention is for devs?
It's not JS, not C++, no IDEs, not VIM, not VSCode, not Linux, not Apple, not a computer (🤔).

It's coffee :) hmmmm....

our new cto is advocating to start migrating our existing and any upcoming new features from php to kotlin.

I tried looking into kotlin but it just doesnt feel nice to me. call me an idiot for actually enjoying php or java but i really dont feel like using something other than them.

i don't want to write Kotlin or Go or anything other than php or java which I already feel extremely comfortable with.

Maybe id love writing Rust even tho im new to it but anyway...i got too used to my comfort zone... and very few *new* things tend to interest me anymore.

whats wrong with me

Question to the Java developers here:

Is it always the case that Oracles documentation and actual implementation don't match?

If you code with Java please don't call yourself a developer

Why does it feel like nobody uses D?
I love it. It combines the best bits of C++, Java, Ruby and even some Python. It still is C ABI and C++ ABI (ish) compatible. It can do everything you need it to. It's not limited like Java. It feels cleaner than C. I LOVE IT. But I don't understand why there's not much going on about it. Is it because it's not 100% stable yet? I don't know. AAAARGH

Well I can say one thing for sure. The tooling found for Flutter in the form of IntelliJ and Android Studio is far superior than fucking around on a text editor das for sure.

Not really into the continuous nesting of widgets. But then again I was not a big fan of having jsx either.

Both options still better than fucking around with the Java Android api....and I fucking love Java.

Still feels like Google realized that such approach was better, else I don't think they would have justified the creation of the Flutter lib. And yes. I know that it is not a complete replacement for Android Java, but the interfacing between Dart and the Java api feels more natural at least to me and the widgets look native af so we go on with them big plus digits.

Friends do have their uses after all.

Me: I'm still trying to find a to-do app I actually like.
Friend: Don't you make software for a living?
Me: More of a help desk monkey but yes.
Friend: Why don't you just make the app you want?
Me: Because it hadn't occurred to me that I could probably do that until now.

Time to go read up on android development and java.

Server behaved weird and I couldn't find out why. Nothing on the logs.

As a personal side project, I've translated the whole project to Scala. Boom! FileNotFoundException. There was an incorrect path somewhere.

I still don't know why Java did not throw.

My big grievances when doing code reviews, lots of code reviews....

Constants. How difficult is to create constants files for reuse and readability?

Comments/java doc. I don't get any help by seeing this is an automatically generated block to get by check style.

*slap*

When you notice about the trains of your city use Java 6 in Windows XP and you think: please tell me that brakes don't

How relevant is learning Java in right now? Want to start with a new language, and don't know which will be the most useful?

Yesterday I spent almost 3 hours trying to sort an array of objects in java. I'm a person who has written a lot of python and dart code and java is just so daunting. Every simple thing is so complicated.
You can sort a list of objects wrt any parameter using a one liner in python.
Finally after copy pasting a lot of code from stack overflow the thing got sorted. And the worst part I don't even know how the thing works.

There's a rumour that they are gonna stop frontend and shift us to backend which is done in Java.

I don't like Java at all. I find myself mostly interested in frontend technologies. Also, just recently started learning Angular2 and I'm liking it.

I know what i should do, but just to confirm my judgement..

Any reason why i should stay and try to work in backend here instead of moving to another company as frontend dev?

Web developers working since years in Java, spring and hibernate have no idea how to make a website live and don't even know basic MVC structure..
Being a PHP developer m so shocked !!
Is it true for most of the java developers??

Today I learned:

In Java, you're supposed to compile a source file in its package one directory up, outside of its package. You can't compile the source file in its own package directory, for it will state "cannot find symbol" on files in the same package, even though they're in the correct package directory. That can be quite confusing at first.

Given the following directory structure:

|_
|_ \pkg
|_ _ Src1.java
|_ _ Src2.java (interface with static method)

and the following source:

package pkg;
public interface Src2 { static void doStuff() { ... }; } // assuming JDK8+, where static default methods are allowed

package pkg;
public class Src1 { public static void main(String[] args) { Src2.doStuff(); } }

..being inside the pkg/ directory in the console,

this won't work:
javac -cp . Src1.java

"cannot find symbol: Src2"

However, go one directory up and..

javac -cp pkg/*.java pkg/Src1.java

..it works!

Yeah, you truly start learning how the compiler works when you don't use the luxury of a IDE but rather a raw text editor and a console.

So am teaching a friend of mine some Java basics. Unfortunately he keeps insisting on using Eclipse to be taught. Tried showing him the beauty of InteliJ but he says it's too confusing 🙃. So here I am typing some full codes that I could have magically inserted on InteliJ. I don't know how long I can take it.

OMFG... im in an AP computer science class and we are starting our first big project (this is a java class) and my teacher put us in a group of 3 and we had to figure out a project to do for the next 3 months. So like the teenagers they are they want to make a game... IN JAVA. like wtf java is not made for games. but since im only 1/3 of the group i have to go with the majority. So now I have to figure out how to do graphics in java. I am thinking of using LWJGL for 2d graphics. If anyone knows any other libraries for 2d graphics please let me know. (i don't want to use swing)

Why people loves Java? It's because the maintenance or something in architectural level? I don't understand, because we have languages like Python with a better syntax and languages like C++ with a better optimization and speed of processing

Languages as women in your life

1) Python's the Girl Friend
2) Java is the Wife/Long term Partner
3) JS is just on Acid. I don't fuck with her..

C++ is for Wifey for the ones with OCDs

P.S : I know how OCDs get. My heart goes out to these people. This is just some frivolous fun

Why do Java developers wear glasses?

Because they don't C#.

I know this one gets thrown around a lot, but it's simple and a terribly great joke.

It's my first rant. So please ++1 me.

Now my rant:

In this semester I had a subject about system architecture. In this class, we must learn Java script, C# (and ASP.NET framework ), PHP (and Zend Framework 2), but in the classes is taught only UML and patterns. In the moodle of the subject we don't have any information about any of the languages and if we ask the teachers they don't know anything.
And we need in 4 weeks do a work with a widget in javascript, 2 Asp.net mvc, 1 asp.net web api. All with authentication.

So we are all fucked