Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

So this fucking happened today.

Me: *sees support ticket coming in about some kind of login issue*

Me: *opens issue*

"Hello, I can't seem to login. There's an error"

Me: *sighs and thinks "at least give me that FUCKING error message then." *kindly replies with asking if they could send me the error message*

"Here it is. I don't understand what is going wrong
and what I have to do"

Me: *looks at error message*

"Invalid customer ID. Please make sure that your ID is correct. You can find it in the activation email we sent you when you registered".

😐 😶 😦

Me: *thinking okay what the fuck, are you fucking retarded or something?*

Me: *kindly replies: "It seems that you are not using the correct customer ID. You might want to look for it in the activation email we sent you!"*

"Oh okay thanks, how did you figure that out?"

Me: 😵 😐 😶 😭 🔫

Seriously what the actual fucking fuck.

I find it hard to trust code school's courses when they use green as the color for error.

"When you have a problem you can't solve, just google it. If you don't find another person that has encountered the same problem/error as you, you're doing something wrong."

- Software Engineering teacher, 2016

Dear self proclaimed wordpress 'developers/programmers', kindly go fuck yourself.

I'm not talking about wordpress devs/designers who don't claim to have a better skillset than they have and are actually willing to learn, those are very much fine.

I'm talking about those wordpress people who claim that they're developers, programmers or whatever kind of bullshit which they're obviously not.

"A client's site crashed, you have to fix it!!!!!" sorry, come again? It's YOUR client's site. It's hosted on our hosting platform meaning that WE are responsible for KEEPING THE SERVERS UP AND FUNCTIONING.
You call yourself a wordpress 'developer' with 'programming experience' for 10 years but the second one of your shitty sites crashes, you come to us because 'it's your responsibility!!!'.
No, it's not. Next to that fact, the fact that you have to ask US why the site is crashing while you could easily login to your control panel, go to the fucking error logs and see that one of your facebook plugins crashes with a quite English error message, shows me that you definitely don't have 10 years of programming experience. And if you can't find that fucking article which tells you exactly where the motherfucking error logs are, don't come crying to us asking to fix your own fucking bullshit.

"My clients site got hacked, you have to clean it up and get it online again ASAP!!!!" - Nah, sorry, not my responsibility. The fact that you explicitly put your wordpress installation on 'no automatic updates' also doesn't help with my urge to fucking end you right now.
Add to that that we have some quite clear articles on wordpress security which you appearantly found too difficult (really? basic shit like 'set a strong fucking password' is too difficult for you?), you're on your own.

"I'm getting an error, please explain what's going wrong as soon as you can! this is a prio 1!!!!" - Nope. You were a wordpress dev/programmer right? Please act like one.

I'm not your personal wordpress agent.

I'm not your personal hacked wordpress site cleanup guy.

I'm not even a fucking wordpress professional. No, I'd rather jump off a bridge than develop wordpress bullshit for a living.

That you chose to do this, not a problem. Just don't rely on me for fixing your shit.

I'm sick of cleaning up your bullshit.

I'm done with answering your high prio tickets about bullshit which any dev could find out with just a few minutes of searching.

Oh your wordpress site isn't showing up so high in google? Yeah sure, shoot a ticket at us blaming us for your own SEO mess. I'm a fucking sysadmin, not a SEO expert.

I'm fucking done with you.

Go die in a fucking corner.

Started talking about Pi-Hole (still trying to install this fucker by the way) today with a collegue.

He had it installed and showed me around a little.

CW: Alright give me an example then I'll show you wildcard blocking.
Me: google.com 😅
CW: *enters and saves it. then tries to load anything related to google.com*

*no google.com domains load, all give a blocked error*

Me: Works great!
CW: Yup.
...
...
...
...
Me: Uhm so you aren't like surprised that I went with google.com as example and that I'd genuinely would block it?!
CW: No, why would I be?
Me: Well, most people consider me paranoid/crazy the second they find out I don't want to use google/google's services.
CW: well that's fucking retarded. why would anyone redicule you for not using something you don't want to use. You'll have your reasons.
Me: So if I'd say i do it for privacy reasons, you wouldn't find that redicilous?
CW: No, why would I? Not using google (and for that matter facebook etc) for privacy reasons is very logical really.

FUCKING. THANK. YOU.

1. Have some issue with my code which spits out cryptic compiler error.

2. Ask on stack overflow, Reddit, etc for a solution.

3. Get scolded at for "not reading the documentation" and "asking questions which could be answered by just Googling". Still no clue what I'm doing wrong, or what the solution would be.

4. Find someone else's vaguely related problem.

5. Post my problematic code as the answer, with arrogant comment about OP being a retard for not figuring that out for themselves.

6. A dozen angry toxic nerds flock in to tell me how retarded and wrong I am, correcting me... solving my original problem.

7. Evil plan succeeded, my code compiles, and as a bonus I made the internet a worse place in the process.

I think if you tell a bunch of autistic neckbeards that "all coronaviruses are fundamentally incurable", you'd have a vaccine within a week.

!rant

This was over a year ago now, but my first PR at my current job was +6,249/-1,545,334 loc. Here is how that happened... When I joined the company and saw the code I was supposed to work on I kind of freaked out. The project was set up in the most ass-backward way with some sort of bootstrap boilerplate sample app thing with its own build process inside a subfolder of the main angular project. The angular app used all the CSS, fonts, icons, etc. from the boilerplate app and referenced the assets directly. If you needed to make changes to the CSS, fonts, icons, etc you would need to cd into the boilerplate app directory, make the changes, run a Gulp build that compiled things there, then cd back to the main directory and run Grunt build (thats right, both grunt and gulp) that then built the angular app and referenced the compiled assets inside the boilerplate directory. One simple CSS change would take 2 minutes to test at minimum.

I told them I needed at least a week to overhaul the app before I felt like I could do any real work. Here were the horrors I found along the way.

- All compiled (unminified) assets (both CSS and JS) were committed to git, including vendor code such as jQuery and Bootstrap.
- All bower components were committed to git (ALL their source code, documentation, etc, not just the one dist/minified JS file we referenced).
- The Grunt build was set up by someone who had no idea what they were doing. Every SINGLE file or dependency that needed to be copied to the build folder was listed one by one in a HUGE config.json file instead of using pattern matching like `assets/images/*`.
- All the example code from the boilerplate and multiple jQuery spaghetti sample apps from the boilerplate were committed to git, as well as ALL the documentation too. There was literally a `git clone` of the boilerplate repo inside a folder in the app.
- There were two separate copies of Bootstrap 3 being compiled from source. One inside the boilerplate folder and one at the angular app level. They were both included on the page, so literally every single CSS rule was overridden by the second copy of bootstrap. Oh, and because bootstrap source was included and commited and built from source, the actual bootstrap source files had been edited by developers to change styles (instead of overriding them) so there was no replacing it with an OOTB minified version.
- It is an angular app but there were multiple jQuery libraries included and relied upon and used for actual in-app functionality behavior. And, beyond that, even though angular includes many native ways to do XHR requests (using $resource or $http), there were numerous places in the app where there were `XMLHttpRequest`s intermixed with angular code.
- There was no live reloading for local development, meaning if I wanted to make one CSS change I had to stop my server, run a build, start again (about 2 minutes total). They seemed to think this was fine.
- All this monstrosity was handled by a single massive Gruntfile that was over 2000loc. When all my hacking and slashing was done, I reduced this to ~140loc.
- There were developer's (I use that term loosely) *PERSONAL AWS ACCESS KEYS* hardcoded into the source code (remember, this is a web end app, so this was in every user's browser) in order to do file uploads. Of course when I checked in AWS, those keys had full admin access to absolutely everything in AWS.
- The entire unminified AWS Javascript SDK was included on the page and not used or referenced (~1.5mb)
- There was no error handling or reporting. An API error would just result in nothing happening on the front end, so the user would usually just click and click again, re-triggering the same error. There was also no error reporting software installed (NewRelic, Rollbar, etc) so we had no idea when our users encountered errors on the front end. The previous developers would literally guide users who were experiencing issues through opening their console in dev tools and have them screenshot the error and send it to them.
- I could go on and on...

This is why you hire a real front-end engineer to build your web app instead of the cheapest contractors you can find from Ukraine.

when u try to find the error but the screen is too small so u have to scroll a lot more to see other lines

When I was intern I saw best use of comment ever. There was a code block that you can only end up there with FATAL ERROR. And there was these lines as a comment :

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax, " said the night man,
"We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! "

Does anyone else have that one guy or gal you work with that's ALWAYS the one to find the weirdest, inexplicable bugs possible? Yup. That's me. Here's some fun examples.

*Unplugs monitor from laptop, causing kernel panic*
*Mouse moves in reverse when inside canvas*
*Program fails to compile, yet compiler blames a syntax error that doesn't exist*
*malloc on the first line of a program causes a segfault*

And for how the conversation usually goes

Me: "[coworker], mind taking a look at this?"
Coworker: "Sure.This better not be another one of 'your bugs'. ... ... ... Well, if you need me I'll be at my desk."
Me: "So you know what's causing it?"
Coworker: "Nope. I've accepted that you're cursed and you should do the same."

When you spend 2 hours looking for the error in your code to find out youre using the wrong database

Storytime!

This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.

Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.

Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--

Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.

Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.

Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!

Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*

Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?

Customer: Yes, it has.

Me: On how many computers?

Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.

Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?

Customer: Yes.

Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*

Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?

Me: *gives price*

Customer: And do you have any?

Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*

Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.

Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?

Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*

Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!

Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.

Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?

Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.

Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.

Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3

Customer: ...Okay, fine

Me: *updates the ticket*

When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."

If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.

If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?

If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.

If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.

If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.

IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.

Okay i'm done - YOU FUCKING ANDROID STUDIO MORONS. Being at a high level in C++, I tried to do some android coding. THERE ARE FUCKING NO GOOD TUTORIALS, NO GOOD DOCS, HECK, THE SELF GENERATED CODE OF THE IDE IS WRONG: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON YOU FUCKING MORONS?
oh wait, let me first import android.widgets.rant;
or was it android.widgets.devrant.rant; or was it android.dr.rant.RantManager;?

Oh wait, I know lets search the docs?
OH WAIT THE DOCUMENTATION DOESNT HAVE THAT.
NOW HOW ABOUT I JUST TRY THE EXAMPLE CODE? WELL UH-UH! YOU HAVE TO FIND OUT YOURSELF WHAT TO IMPORT IN ORDER FOR IT TO WORK. ALSO, WHAT FUCKING UP WITH THAT PERMISSION SYSTEM? ITS SO BADLY DOCUMENTED!!!

Oh wait, I'm sure that I have to change something in this file... or was it that other file?

GOD
how dare they have style and design guidelines?
MORONS!

I will resort to implement my app idea in godot, idc anymore... I don't want to burn out because I used the "official high standard" tech.

it definitely isn't high standard and definitely not good. Thank you morons@google

THANK YOU FOR NOTHING

A FRAMEWORK WHERE I NEED 2 DAYS TO FIGURE OUT TO ADD EVENT LISTENERS TO MY THINGS IS DEFINITELY NOT ONE I'D LIKE TO USE.

also, whats up with

AudioRecord (int audioSource, int samplerateInHz, int channelConfig, int audioFormat, int bufferSizeInBytes);

ARE WE BACK IN THE C ERA? CAN'T YOU BE BOTHERED TO IMPLEMENT SOME SIMPLE FUCKING ENUMS????

WHATS THE POINT OF AN OOP LANGUAGE IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE IT LIKE C?

Oh wait I found a tutorial ... First trigger: "java scripts". Second trigger: this guy LITTERALLY ONLY TEACHES YOU HOW TO PLACE WIDGETS ON THE CANVAS. THANKS FOR NOTHING SHERLOCK!

Oh btw: did you know that android studio gives the best error messages?
"Error: illegal start of expression"
NO ERROR MESSAGE - NOTHING!
YOU BETTER USE THE IDE OR YOU GO HOME YOU FUCKER!!!

Oh and btw: if you want to read the best documentation - the code itself YOU GOTTA AGREE TO OR TERMS OF SERVICE!!!! WE DONT WANT ANYBODY TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL WITHOUT US KNOWING!!!!!

THANK YOU GOOGLE FOR NOTHING!
YOU FUCKERS!

thanks godot for *atleast* existing. You are the... last pick i'd pick, but :shrug:, I have experienced android studio now.

If anybody has any advice on what to use instead, please go ahead. And you better not tell me how good you are at android studio. I DONT CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN IMPLEMENT IN ANDROID STUDIO. I JUST WANT SOMETHING THAT IS USABLE WITHOUT HAVING TO BE EXTRA CAREFUL WHEN DOING *ANYTHING*!!!!

fuckers.

It's finished.

After switching between Fedora, Ubuntu, Debian, Manjaro, Antergos and a dozen WM's I've settled for Arch on the desktop.

Took me over a week of trial and error, but it's worth the pain for the level of control you get.

Switching to Linux reminded me much of trying to find out if I liked text editors or IDE's more when I first started programming. I changed tools every day before I settled.

Screenshots of course. Now to actually get back to my JDBC projects before I start obsessing over how to get all my apps on the terminal. :D

User: "it stopped working"
Me: "ok. Could you be more specific?"
User: "it just closed"
Me: "could you give me the stacktrace/error message?"
User: "no."
Me: "why?"
User: "can't find it"

With a long conversation and some frustrating debugging it turned out that, ironically enough, the crash reporter crashed...

Interviews for developers should say: This is an error on production. You have 10 min to find the solution on google.
This is more efficient than making developers write algorithms.

That moment when you google the error...
find the same query on three different sites...
realise that all three were posted by the same user...
and all three are unanswered.. 😑

Friend: Hey can you check my code, can't seen to find this one error, and i have been trying for hours now.
Me: Just one error?
Friend: Ya, just one. And it i am not in a hurry, check it whenever you can.
Me: *understanding the pain of not finding that one fucking error*
Cool, just send me the code i ll check it tonight.

Later that night i check the code, debugg that error, shit ton of more error pop up.
Me: Well i have solved the one error, now i can just hand over the rest of the code to the guy so he can take care of the rest, its not like i am responsible or aything. HOWEVER, maybe i can solve few more, just for fun, i can't just let this code get the better of me.

*ends up clearing all the error after a lomg night*

Have multiple and some server related but hereby:

I forcefully quit php on the server I use for devRant related stuffs because I wanted to quit the bakgrounded php process I had running for the dns proxy thingy since I somehow couldn't find the pid.

Two days later I noticed that none of my sites on that server where running anymore and started looking at nginx error logs.

It took me way too long to figure out that I had PHP-FPM installed which runs as a service and by forcefully quitting php the other day.... Yeah, you get it I think.

Started the process again and remembered that one 😅

My teacher at school who taught me programming. We were taught Java.

You see, Java is not a beginner's language, most say. But the way she taught it, the examples, the analogy, the explanation; she made it so easy.

She made us execute our first Hello World program (using BlueJ) and proudly said, "you're all programmers now!", that was when fascination took me over. I remember​ that moment till today.

Also, unlike regular exams, the programming exams required extreme competency. Marks were split up for algorithm and syntax. There were also questions like find the error in this algorithm for this output. She would always surprise us at the exams!

I had several glorious moments in class by being the first to answer most of her questions. At 13, it was kind of a big deal for me.
(Okay, who am I kidding, it still is :-P)

*sigh*

It was mostly just self learning from there. I switched schools and then there was college. Attending classes in college was like going to the gym with fat trainers. Utterly useless :-/ It just made me appreciate her even more.

A few years ago, I used alert('Well that sux balls'); to debug a CMS custom module. Finished the project and went with the sales manager to demo the app to the clients board of directors. Trust a sales manager to find a bug during a live demo that QA didn't find...
All my temporary error messages are now boring and functional.

Today we will play a new game,
Reddit: find the error 😂

TL;DR: Fuck you Apple.

10:30 PM, parent needs iPhone update to update Messenger. How hard can this be?
Need to update iPhone from 9.x to latest, which is so outdated it still required iTunes. Fk.

Boot iTunes on Windows 10 pc that is at least 10 years old.
Completely unresponsive
Crash in task manager
Launch and is completely unresponsive. (Also starts playing unrequested music.. Oh joy..)
Fuck this, go to apple.com to download iTunes exe
Gives me some Microsoft store link. Fuck that shit, just give me the executable
Google “iTunes download”. click around on shitty Apple website. Success.
Control panel. Uninstall iTunes. (Takes forever, but it works)
Restart required (of fucking course).
2 eternities later. Run iTunes exe. Restart required. Fk.
Only 1 eternity later. Run iTunes, connect iPhone.
Actually detects the device. (holy shit, a miracle)
Starts syncing an empty library to the phone. Ya, fuck that.
Google. Disable option. Connect phone. Find option to update.
Update started. Going nowhere fast. Time for a walk at 1:00 AM punching the air.
Come back. Generic error message: Update failed (-1). Phone is stuck installing update. (O shit)
1x hard reset
2x hard reset
Google. Find Apple forum with exact question. Absolutely useless replies. (I expected no less)
Google recovery mode. Get into recovery mode.
Receive message: “You can update, but if it fails, you will have to reset to factory settings”. Fuck it, here we go.
Update runs (faster this time). Fails again. Same bullshit error message. (Goddammit, fuck. This might actually be bad.)
Disconnect phone.
… It boots latest iOS version. (holy shit, there is a god)
Immediately kill iTunes. Fuck that shit.
Parents share Apple account
Sign in, 2FA required.
Fat finger the code.
Restart “welcome” process.
Will not send code. What. The. Fuck.
Requests access code on other parent’s iPhone.
No code present. What???
Try restarting welcome process again. No dice. (Of course)
Set code on other parent’s iPhone.
Get message “Code is easy to guess”. Ya. IDGAF
Use code on newly updated iPhone. Some success.
Requires reset of password.
Password cannot be the same as old password (Goddammit)
Change password.
Welcome process done.
Sign in again on same phone after welcome process done in settings. (Nice.)
Sign in again on other phone with updated password
Update Messenger.
Update hangs. Needs more space.
Delete shit.
Update frozen in App Store (Really??)
Restart iPhone.
Update Messenger.
Update complete past 2. Well that was easy.

Apple, fuck you.
Some call Android unintuitive, but I look at the settings app on iPhone and realize you aren’t any better.
This company hasn’t been innovative since 2007. Over 1000 USD for a phone? Are you fucking kidding me?
Updating an iPhone from iOS 9.x is probably uncommon anymore. But this is a fucking joke. Fix your shit.
Shit like this is why I’ll never again own an Apple product. I have HAD IT with the joke of a business.

Thanks for reading.

When your classmates are such lobotomites, that they manage to fry 11 fucking IC's within a day! And I am the one who has to find and replace all the broken stuff. FFS it says 9V right there on the board NOT 12V! No, your board should not draw 1.7AMPS! This chip is getting kinda hot. What is wrong? ONE OF YOUR FUCKING PROBES IS BRIDGING ONE OF THE PINS!
Why isnt this working correctly? You adjusted the wrong fucking potentiometer!
I know I have far more experience than most of my classmates, but man, atleast try to not break things by just thinking: "I dont know dis. (Its actually written in the docs!) So imma assume it will be fine if I do dis. It wasnt fine!"
Also IF something doesnt work, DO NOT TURN UP THE VOLTAGE ON THE CIRCUIT BECAUSE IT APPEARS TO BE THE CLOSEST POSSIBLE ERROR. Which in most cases it is not!

I have a college that never seems to answer anything fully, just the bare minimum to make it seem like he did.

Regular conversations with him goes like this:

Me: “hey, I have a problem with this feature you added, I’m getting an error *insert error*”
Him: “yeah theres a script for that...”

Me: *wait for the script he mentioned*

Me: “whats the script?”
Him: “it’s FixIssues.sh”

Me: *looks for the script in the project*

Me: “hey, I can’t find it, where is it?”
Him: “here it is” *pastes a script into chat*
Me: “Oh, where can i find that in the project?”
Him: “you can’t”
Me: “???”
Him: “I have it in my OneDrive”

WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? Why this song and dance every time I ask something? This conversation could have been over in 1 minute but instead we both have to waste 15 minutes of our time to get this far.

1. Fucking MySQL database clusters.

There's nothing fun about MySQL clusters. Sometimes they start producing deadlock errors for no apparent reason... well, there's probably a reason, but it's never a transparent easy to find reason.

What was even less fun is that those errors took down a Sentry server. When your error log server goes down through ddos from your database messages, it's time to rethink your setup.

2. Wiring up a large factory with $2 arduino clones, each with a $2 esp8266 wifi chip, with various sensors for measuring flow of chemical solutions (I wanted cheap real time monitoring as an early warning system next to periodic sampling).

The scaling issue was getting over 500 streaming wifi signals to work in a 55c moist slightly corrosive atmosphere with concrete and steel everywhere, and getting it all into a single InfluxDB instance for analysis.

Stack Overflow. Everyone uses it but everyone seems to hate the community. I very often read about someone getting down voted and they all say the same thing - "I have no idea why".

I have spent a lot of time moderating SO posts, which gave me a lot of reputation and medals. I find it fun to help people and it feels good to give back to the community.

I have asked a bunch of questions and I've never gotten a single down vote, which leads me to believe everyone of you that is constantly getting down voted are doing something wrong. Because the posts I see getting down voted are fucking stupid questions that either lack information or contain too much information.

Example 1:
Server java error

Why is my server not working? I am using Tomcat, port 8080 and I'm getting IOException.

Example 2:
Webpack configuration not working

My webpack is not a working, why?
[entire webpack config]

End examples.

What the fuck are you expecting asking questions like these?? No one gets paid for answering your questions, so the least you can do is write a CLEAR AND UNDERSTANDABLE question. I'm not gonna tell you how to do it because there's A LOT of information on how to do it.

People devote hours and hours to helping others on SO, and of course they get fed up with the stupid and lazy questions. That community is not about being nice, it's not about making people feel welcomed, it's about QUALITY OF CONTENT. No one is crying when they find a superb question + answer, right? That's the result of a community not accepting low quality content.

So please, the next time you get a down vote on SO - do not come here whining about it but instead take a look at what you have posted there and ask yourself if it could have held a higher quality.

Thanks!

Around 27 hours at new customer location.

They had a server failure due to incompetence.

They had fired their own IT guy and called us 6 months later because the server stopped responding.

First diagnostic. 2 drives are dead in a raid 5 with one hot spare. Raid controller then proved to be broken once the disks was replaced.

Waiting for new raid controller and installing.

Backup non existing, no one changed dat tape during the 6 months without IT. The tape was just a transparent plastic band, no media left.

Raid config is stored in static ram on controller, no backup!

Several hours in tech support to find out how to rebuild raid config from existing disks.

Proves to be impossible to rebuild raid set due to some checksum failures.

More hours with support to enable some diagnostic read only mode to mirror low level content to external drive.

Then many more hours to copy parts of the tree until it gets an error, restart after that and go on.

In the end we got around 70% back.

During this time I manage to be in contact with the raid manufacturers all support centers, one in europe, one in the us and one in Taiwan, switching each time one if them closed for the night.

The customer later declined a steady support contract due to us being to expensive ;)

Some just don’t want to learn.

Summary: Burnout, and everything's broken.

I don't feel like doing a damn thing today. I look at the code and cringe. I look at Slack and think "ugh. i can't." Mental capitals are even too much work.

(I've started reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" to try and combat burnout. I'll write a rant/story about it here if I find it helpful. but all I want to do today is drink tea and read.)

But onto the story:

Heroku is deprecating support for and will automatically upgrade any old verisons of Postgres running on its platform after August something (like five days from now).

I performed the upgrade to PG10 on Sunday (and late into the night), provisioning a new follower, blah blah blah.

However, the version of Rails we're using (4.2.x) doesn't support PG10 sequences, so I manually added in support via a monkeypatch. I did this on our QA servers first, obviously, and everything worked as expected. After half a day of no issues, I did the same on production, and again: everything worked as expected.

But today? I keep hearing about new things that are broken. One specific type of alert doesn't work for one specific person (wat). Can't send [redacted] at all. Can't update merchants! Yet there are magically no errors logged.

That last one (well, two) are just great; let me explain: when there's an error concerning merchants, the error gets caught, isn't logged or recorded anywhere so it just disappears, and the rescue block triggers a json response instead and happily exits. This is for an internal admin tool, so returning a user-friendly error is kinda stupid anyway, but masking what actually happened? fuck that dev with an obelisk made from spikes and solidified pain. That json response is also lovely: it's a 200 OK returning {status: 1, data: "[generic message containing incorrect IT jargon]"}. Doesn't even say "error" anywhere. Bloody everything about this pattern is absolutely wrong. Even the friggin' text.

Fucking hell. I want to pipe the entire codebase into shred and walk out the door.

But I digress. So many things are broken, my motivation is wanning to a sliver, and I have a conference call today where I'll undoubtedly be asked why everything is on smoking and/or on fire, and my huge and overly productive week last week will ofc mean nothing by contrast.

Ugh.

`shred ~/dev/work -zfu -n 32 &; ./brew tea --hot && wine ~/takeabreak.exe`

The website for our biggest client went down and the server went haywire. Though for this client we don’t provide any infrastructure, so we called their it partner to start figuring this out.
They started blaming us, asking is if we had upgraded the website or changed any PHP settings, which all were a firm no from us. So they told us they had competent people working on the matter.

TL;DR their people isn’t competent and I ended up fixing the issue.

Hours go by, nothing happens, client calls us and we call the it partner, nothing, they don’t understand anything. Told us they can’t find any logs etc.

So we setup a conference call with our CXO, me, another dev and a few people from the it partner.
At this point I’m just asking them if they’ve looked at this and this, no good answer, I fetch a long ethernet cable from my desk, pull it to the CXO’s office and hook up my laptop to start looking into things myself.

IT partner still can’t find anything wrong. I tail the httpd error log and see thousands upon thousands of warning messages about mysql being loaded twice, but that’s not the issue here.
Check top and see there’s 257 instances of httpd, whereas 256 is spawned by httpd, mysql is using 600% cpu and whenever I try to connect to mysql through cli it throws me a too many connections error.

I heard the IT partner talking about a ddos attack, so I asked them to pull it off the public network and only give us access through our vpn. They do that, reboot server, same problems.

Finally we get the it partner to rollback the vm to earlier last night. Everything works great, 30 min later, it crashes again. At this point I’m getting tired and frustrated, this isn’t my job, I thought they had competent people working on this.

I noticed that the db had a few corrupted tables, and ask the it partner to get a dba to look at it. No prevail.

5’o’clock is here, we decide to give the vm rollback another try, but first we go home, get some dinner and resume at 6pm. I had told them I wanted to be in on this call, and said let me try this time.

They spend ages doing the rollback, and then for some reason they have to reconfigure the network and shit. Once it booted, I told their tech to stop mysqld and httpd immediately and prevent it from start at boot.

I can now look at the logs that is leading to this issue. I noticed our debug flag was on and had generated a 30gb log file. Tail it and see it’s what I’d expect, warmings and warnings, And all other logs for mysql and apache is huge, so the drive is full. Just gotta delete it.

I quietly start apache and mysql, see the website is working fine, shut it down and just take a copy of the var/lib/mysql directory and etc directory just go have backups.

Starting to connect a few dots, but I wasn’t exactly sure if it was right. Had the full drive caused mysql to corrupt itself? Only one way to find out. Start apache and mysql back up, and just wait and see. Meanwhile I fixed that mysql being loaded twice. Some genius had put load mysql.so at the top and bottom of php ini.

While waiting on the server to crash again, I’m talking to the it support guy, who told me they haven’t updated anything on the server except security patches now and then, and they didn’t have anyone familiar with this setup. No shit, it’s running php 5.3 -.-

Website up and running 1.5 later, mission accomplished.

Windows troubleshooting:
- Works on my system, therefore it's not an issue.
- Must be a hardware error.
- Obviously it's just cheap hardware.
- Have you tried turning it off and on again?
- Here's some obscure error code that leads nowhere.
- Have you tried "sfc /scannow"?
AS IF SFC IS A FUCKING SILVER BULLET!!!
- Our Indian support chap from answers.microsoft.com will help you.

RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Solution: quietly weep and reinstall your system.

Linux troubleshooting:
- There are good quality log files.
- You can run the program from the command-line and read both stdout and stderr from it.
- You can usually run the program with high verbosity options to help you track down the error.
- Even daemons can have their commands spawned from a dedicated shell, to see why they failed.
- Usually it's a configuration error and you can easily edit the configuration file.
- More often than not, the program will tell you why it failed.

Solution: usually easy to find.

I fucking love Windows. Because you know, it's so easy to troubleshoot and the support is so great!!!

Going nuts over a cUrl error in PHP "Protocol HTTPS not supported or disabled in libcurl", recompiling, reinstalling curl, no result...

Just to find out 3h later that the curl request URL had a " " (space) right before "HTTPS://...".

FML .

It was a normal school day. I was at the computer and I needed to print some stuff out. Now this computer is special, it's hooked up onto a different network for students that signed up to use them. How you get to use these computers is by signing up using their forms online.

Unfortunately, for me on that day I needed to print something out and the computer I was working on was not letting me sign in. I called IT real quick and they said I needed to renew my membership. They send me the form, and I quickly fill it out. I hit the submit button and I'm greeted by a single line error written in php.

Someone had forgotten to turn off the debug mode to the server.
Upon examination of the error message, it was a syntax error at line 29 in directory such and such. This directory, i thought to myself, I know where this is. I quickly started my ftp client and was able to find the actual file in the directory that the error mentioned. What I didn't know, was that I'd find a mountain of passwords inside their php files, because they were automating all of the authentications.

Curious as I was, I followed the link database that was in the php file. UfFortunately, someone in IT hadn't thought far enough to make the actual link unseeable. I was greeted by the full database. There was nothing of real value from what I could see. Mostly forms that had been filled out by students.

Not only this, but I was displeased with the bad passwords. These passwords were maybe of 5 characters long, super simple words and a couple number tacked onto the end.

That day, I sent in a ticket to IT and told them about the issue. They quickly remedied it by turning off debug mode on the servers. However, they never did shut down access to the database and the php files...

I am searching Google for a strange error message I have in my program. Find one stack overflow thread from a couple of years ago with one answer approved by the OP and upvoted a remarkable amount of times.. I am reading the question and it is exactly my problem...to the point. So I am reading the answer and it works and solves my problem and I am happy. Let's see who is the OP of the thread .... Um, what? No?! It's me?!?! And who posted the answer to the question? What??? Also me?!?! Guess I had this problem years ago, figured out a solution and posted the answer.

This brings me to some things:

1 - I am a better person than I imagined i would be because I never thought I would document my findings publicly
2 - I am the biggest idiot for not recognizing my own post
3 - Dafuq, why did I stumble over the very same problem twice??
4 - on the other hand it is totally cool to see stuff I did and think "wow, I managed to do this??"

Why do users find it so hard to understand short and clear error messages that are in place to inform them what's going wrong? Why do they instead waste my time when the message clearly says that the password is too short and hasn't got any special characters? FFS!

!!oracle

I'm trying to install a minecraft modpack to play with a friend, and I'm super psyced about it. According to the modpack instructions, the first step is to download the java8 jre. Not sure if I actually need it or not, but it can download while I'm doing everything else, so I dutifully go to the download page and find the appropriate version. The download link does point to the file, but redirects to a login page instead. Apparently I need an oracle account to download anything on their site. stupid.

So I make an account. It requires my life story, or at least full name and address and phone number. stupid. So my name is now "fuck off" and I live in Hell, Michigan. My email is also "gofuckyourself" because I'm feeling spiteful. Also, for some reason every character takes about 3/4ths of a second to type, so it's very slow going. Passwords also cannot contain spaces, which makes me think they're doing some stupid "security" shenanigans like custom reversible encryption with some 5th grade math. or they're just stupid. Whatever, I make the stupid account.

Afterwards, I try to log in, but apparently my browser-saved credentials are wrong? I try a few more times, try enabling all of the javascripts, etc. No beans. Okay, maybe I can't use it until I verify the email? That actually makes some sense. Fine, I go check the throwaway inbox. No verification email. It's been like five minutes, but it's oracle so they probably just failed at it like everything else, so I try to have them resend the email. I find the resend link, and try it. Every time I enter my email address, though, it either gives me a validation error or a server error. I try a few mores times, and give up. I try to log in again; no dice. Giving up, I go do something else for awhile.

On a whim later, I check for the verification email again. Apparently it just takes bloody forever, but it did show up. Except instead of the first name "Fuck" I entered, I'm now "Andrew", apparently. okay.... whatever. I click the verify button anyway, and to my surprise it actually works, and says that I'm now allowed to use my account. Yay!

So, I go back to the login page (from the download link) and enter my credentials. A new error appears! I cannot use redirects, apparently, and "must type in the page address I want to visit manually." huh? okay, i go to the page directly, and see the same bloody error because of course i do because oracle fucking sucks. So I close the page, go back to the download list, click the link, wait for the login page redirect (which is so totally not allowed, apparently, except it works and manual navigation does not. yay backwards!), and try to log in.

Instead of being presented with an error because of the redirect, it lets me (try to) log in. But despite using prefilled creds (and also copy/pasting), it tells me they're invalid. I open a new tab container, clear the cache (just to be thorough), and repeat the above steps. This time it redirects me to a single signon server page (their concept of oauth), and presents me with a system error telling me to contact "the Administrator." -.- Any second attempts, refreshes, etc. just display the same error.

Further attempts to log in from the download page fail with the same invalid credentials error as before.

Fucking oracle and their reverse Midas touch.

What you see in that screenshot, that was earned.

I'm on the plane and I want an hour of free Gogo (read: crappy) WiFi on my laptop (so I can push the code I'm probably the most proud of, more on that another time). The problem is that the free T-Mobile WiFi is apparently only available on mobile.

So after trying to just use responsive mode, and that still (almost obviously) not working. I realize it's time to bring in the big guns: A User Agent switcher. Small catch: I don't have an add-on for FF that can do that.

So on my phone I find an add-on that can and download the file. To send it to my computer, I initially thought to go through KDEConnect, but Gogo's network also isolates each system, so that doesn't work. So I try to send it over Bluetooth, except I can't. Why? Because Android's Bluetooth share "doesn't support" the .xpi extension, so I dump it in a zip (in retrospect, I should have just renamed it), and now I can share.

After a few tries, I successfully get the file over, extract the zip, and install the extension. Whew! Now I open up Gogo's page and proceed to try again, but this time I change the user-agent. Doesn't work... Ah! Cookies! I delete the cookies for Gogo (I had a cookie editor add-on already), but I had to try a few times because Gogo's scripts keep trying to, but I got it in the end.

Finally that stupid error saying it's for phones only went away, and I could write this rant for you.

What is it with this team and the developers it attracts. 2 devs joined and left, both had several years of experience, both couldn’t google an issue to save their lives and needed to be helped 24/7.

Now we are mentoring a PHD student for a piece of his project. Dude was left stumped by an error message that said “Can’t find file at path ...” because the path didn’t exist. He spent a few hours trying to fix it before asking for help.

How, HOW are people getting through college / university without being able to read, or debug such a simple fucking error message

!rant

I'm building a complex software that computes stuff with advanced algorithms and linear programming. That kind of software that proved itself strong, but you know a bug discovery would be a disaster.

The client is a dick, always acting as a bully in every email.

Last email, writes me about a supposed error of the software, while of course complaining that the software is complete crap to ensure that I keep a positive attitude.

After some hours of trying to find the cause of the fucking problem, I realized that the software was actually right since the beginning.

I've replied explaining *why* the software says what it says (acting like it was the most obvious thing in the world). Waiting for a response.

I hope that moron will feel humiliated at least a little bit.

I was pressued to shift the blame.

We received an angry email from a customer that some of their data had disappeared. The boss assigns me to this task. This feature is relatively new and we've found some bugs in the past in here. I go through request logs, search the database, run some diagnostics, etc. for about 5 hours and I cannot find the problem. I focus on the bugs that we've had before but they don't seem to be the problem.

I tell the boss "sorry but I checked XYZ and I can't find the problem. I'm out of ideas." But the boss wanted answers by the end of the day. They did not want to admit to the client that we couldn't figure out what's wrong.

By now I was more pressured to find an answer, find something or someone to blame it on, not exactly to find the real solution. So I made up some BS:

"Sometimes, in HTML forms, the number inputs allow you to change the number by scrolling. We have some long forms where the user has to scroll. Perhaps the focus remained on the number input, so when they scrolled down they accidentally changed the number they meant to input."

The boss was happy with that. We explained this to the customer, and there's now a ticket to change type="number" to type="text" in our HTML forms and to validate it in th backend.

A week later another customer shows us a different error. This one is more clear because it had a stack trace, but I realise that this error is what caused our last error. It was pretty obscure, mind you, the unit tests didn't detect it.

I didn't tell the boss that they were connected tho.

With two angry clients in two weeks, I finally convinced the boss to give us more time to write more unit tests with full coverage.

VB3.

In my last rant I mentioned I used to convert VB3 code to .Net. Before that, I used to work on the VB3 product itself. This software emulated something from the real world, and as such complied with a bunch of regulations that changed on a regular basis, and always had additions and removals that were to be done on a strict schedule (e.g. "we're adding a new product next month, so we have to be able to sell it by the first of the month"). As such, it was a huge sprawling mess.

One day, I was given a task to change some feature slightly. The task was simple enough and really only required adding one line of code. I added that line and clicked "Run".

Error: Too Much Code

What? What do you mean too much code? I asked a colleague for help. "Oh, don't worry, it happens when a function is too long. Just remove one or two of the comments and try again." The comments were, naturally, old deleted code that was quite meaningless so I had no qualms about removing some. It worked, and I went on with my life.

This started happening on a regular basis on our larger functions. But there were always comments to remove so it wasn't a big issue.

One day, though, it happened on a five-line function. This was puzzling - the error had always happened when a function was too big but this one clearly wasn't. What could the error mean? I went to the same colleague.

Apparently, there's also a limit to how big the entire code base can be. "Just find a function that isn't used any more and delete it." And so I did. There were many such functions, responsible for calculating things which no longer existed so they were never called. For months, I'd find functions and remove them. Until there weren't any more. I checked every function and subroutine in our codebase, and they were all used; I checked every possible code path and they were all needed.

What do I do now, I asked? The colleague, who was an expert on VB3 but worked on another project, came and take a look.

"Look at all these small functions you made! No wonder you're running out of space!" Apparently each function created a lot of overhead in the compiled executable. The solution was clear. Combine small functions into large monolithic ones, possibly passing flags in them to do completely unrelated things. Oh, and don't comment on the different parts because we have no room for comments in our code base.

Ah, the good old days.

Sometimes when I can't find an error, I just rewrite the problematic code. Often I end up solving the error and having cleaner code. Win win.

soldering on a pcb is just as stressful as programming. u solder everything and u test it out and then it doesnt work like its designed to. its just like compiling it and a lot of errors are detected. the worst part of it, you cant detect the errors as soon as u try it out. you have to find where exactly in this kind of mess is the error:

MySQL has the absolute worst error messages.

"You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds blah blah near '(some random code line)'".

How vague can you be? It doesn't help that I always find the error in a completely different place to where the message says it is.

Did someone here partecipate to the International Olympiad of Metropolises in Moscow?
I've been there this year and it was an excellent experience.. If you want it, share your thoughts or impressions!

(Picture of me trying to eat a pen and trying to find every fucking error in my code)

So this happened some time ago but I didn't know devRant back then.

In school we had to write some code in Java and before the lessen one of my friends said to me that he already knew Java and that it was like a very easy coding language.

Then, when we actually had to code, he was complaining that his code didn't work.
So I stopped coding, stood up and walked over to him. He had only very few lines of code and after reading the error message I told him that he was missing a semicolon in line X.

He then asked me what a semicolon was. At that moment I thought: Oh, it's just that one thing that you put after ALMOST EVERY LINE OF CODE IN JAVA. I showed him where I find it on the keyboard and then I fixed his code (it had way more errors than just a missing semicolon).

I have no problem with helping other people but if that person brags about how well they know Java and then not knowing what a semicolon was, that's just not ok.

We have to use this tool in work for classifying new and existing projects for GDPR. Long story short you have to fill out a REALLY long questionnaire, then it gets reviewed by someone in legal. The tool will also assign you tasks and suggest actions to common issues (e.g. suggesting a banner to explain cookie policy if you tick a certain box).

I have spent about an hour trying to re-assign the assessment I started, as i'm due to leave the company in a few days, to the guy taking over from me.

1. There is a “generate shareable URL” button, with the ability to click a button that says “replace me with the logged in user who opens this”. All it does is duplicate the name and description fields and send a new copy to that person, with no access to any of my other content or answers.

2. I did find a re-assign button eventually, again all it does it create a duplicate, and throws and error saying names must be unique when I try to save it.

3. While I couldn’t find a way to do that, I did find another button to at least assign the reviewer. It told me i’m forbidden to change the reviewer on assessments i’ve created.

This is THE WORST piece of nonsensical shit on earth. The entire application is absolute garbage and sssssssooooooo slow.

When you first create an assessment it brings you to a page that has all the questions, makes sense right? Wrong. All the questions are in read-only mode, and they are simply there as a "this is what you can expect to see later on", telling you whether or not they will be freeform, multiple choice etc.

The way to actually answer the questions is to click the "start survey" button hidden in the "status" dropdown.

I don't have much advice to anyone around GDPR, but please stay the hell away from TrustArc.

In the before time (late 90s) I worked for a company that worked for a company that worked for a company that provided software engineering services for NRC regulatory compliance. Fallout radius simulation, security access and checks, operational reporting, that sort of thing. Given that, I spent a lot of time around/at/in nuclear reactors.

One day, we're working on this system that uses RFID (before it was cool) and various physical sensors to do a few things, one of which is to determine if people exist at the intersection of hazardous particles, gasses, etc.

This also happens to be a system which, at that moment, is reporting hazardous conditions and people at the top of the outer containment shell. We know this is probably a red herring or faulty sensor because no one is present in the system vs the access logs and cameras, but we have to check anyways. A few building engineers climb the ladders up there and find that nothing is really visibly wrong and we have an all clear. They did not however know how to check the sensor.

Enter me, the only person from our firm on site that day. So in the next few minutes I am also in a monkey suit (bc protocol), climbing a 150 foot ladder that leads to another 150 foot ladder, all 110lbs of me + a 30lb diag "laptop" slung over my shoulder by a strap. At the top, I walk about a quarter of the way out, open the casing on the sensor module and find that someone had hooked up the line feed, but not the activity connection wire so it was sending a false signal. I open the diag laptop, plug it into the unit, write a simple firmware extension to intermediate the condition, flash, reload. I verify the error has cleared and an appropriate message was sent to the diagnostic system over the radio, run through an error test cycle, radio again, close it up. Once I returned to the ground, sweating my ass off, I also send a not at all passive aggressive email letting the boss know that the next shift will need to push the update to the other 600 air-gapped, unidirectional sensors around the facility.

While trying to integrate a third-party service:

Their Android SDK accepts almost anything as a UID, even floats and doubles. Which is odd, who uses those as UIDs? I pass an Integer instead. No errors. Seems like it's working. User shows up on their dashboard.

Next let's move onto using their data import API. Plug in everything just like I did on mobile. Whoa, got an error. "UIDs must be a string". What. Uh, but the SDK accepts everything with no error. Ok fine. Change both the SDK and API to return the UID as a string. No errors returned after changing the UIDs.

Check dashboard for user via UID. Uh, properties haven't been updating. Check search properties. Find out that UIDs can only be looked up as Integers. What? Why do you ask me to send it as a string via the API then? Contact support. Find out it created two distinct records with the UID, one as a string and the other as an Integer.

GFG.

Always back up your data.

I came to my computer earlier today to find it on my Linux login screen. This could only mean one thing: something went horribly wrong.

Let me explain.

I have my BIOS set up to boot into Windows automatically. The exception is a reboot or something horrible happens and the computer crashes. Then, it boots me into Linux. Due to a hardware issue I never looked into, I have to be present to push F1 to allow the computer to start. The fact that it rebooted successfully, without me present, into *Linux*, could only mean one thing:

My primary hard drive died and was no longer bootable.

The warning was the BIOS telling me the drive was likely to fail ("Device Error" doesn't really tell me anything to be fair).

The massive wave of panic hit me.

I rebooted in hopes of reviving the drive. No dice.

I rebooted again. The drive appeared.

Let's see how much data I can recover from it before I can no longer mount it. Hopefully, I can come out of this relatively unscathed.

The drive in question is a 10 year old 1.5 TB Seagate drive that came with the computer. It served me well.

Press F to pay respects I guess.

On the bright side, I'll be getting an SSD as a replacement (probably a Samsung EVO).

Hi lil puppies what's your problem?

*proxy vomits*

Have you eaten something wrong....

*proxy happily eats requests and answers correctly*

Hm... Seems like you are...

*proxy vomits dozen of requests at once*

... Not okay.

Ok.... What did u you get fed you lil hellspawn.

TLS handshake error.

Thousands. Of. TLS. Handshake. Errors.

*checking autonomous system information*

Yeah... Requests come from same IP or AS. Someone is actively bombing TLS requests on the TLS terminator.

Wrong / outdated TLS requests.

Let's block the IP addresses....

*Pats HAProxy on the head*

*Gets more vomit as a thank you no sir*

I've now added a list of roughly 320 IP adresses in 4 h to an actively running HAProxy in INet as some Chinese fuckers seemingly find it funny to DDOS with TLS 1.0... or Invalid HTTP Requests... Or Upgrade Headers...

Seriously. I want a fucking weekend you bastards. Shove your communism up your arse if you wanna have some illegal fun. ;)

There was an error in one of my Java file. Impossible to find it. I commented all the code and the error remain. I commented the import of that class and no more error. How the f**** is possible that a empty class give an error ?
I opened the file in another text editor and found out that the last character was a symbol that wasn't recognize or display in other text editor.
I was really proud (and confused)

Here it is: get MythTV up and running.

In one corner, building from source, the granddaddy Debian!

In the other, prebuilt and ready to download, the meek but feisty Xubuntu!

Debian gets an early start, knowing that compiling on a single core VM won't break any records, and sends the compiler to work with a deft make command!

Xubuntu, relying on its user friendly nature, gets up and running quickly and starts the download. This is where the high-bandwidth internet really works in her favor!

Debian is still compiling as Xubuntu zooms past, and is ready to run!

MythTV backend setup leads her down a few dark alleys, such as asking where to put directories and then not making them, but she comes out fine!

Oh no! After choosing a country and language the frontend commit suicide with no error message! A huge blow to Xubuntu as this will take hours to diagnose!

Meanwhile, Debian sits in his corner, quietly chugging away on millions of lines of C++...

Xubuntu looks lost... And Debian is finished compiling! He's ready to install!

Who will win? Stay tuned to find out!

Ages ago, it was still in the last millenium which will not end soon at that point of tine, I had a 10MB HDD in my first computer. It was a gift and second hand, and DOS 3.2 was installed on it, and my younger self, unable to talk or write english, had that cool game on it (Pitfall, if I remember correctly). But that game was not enough, so I tried to enter all the filenames in all the folders to find other games on that machine. Some commands were ther which I have not understand correctly, and one of them was 'format'. Typed in 'format' and pressed enter, an error message appears that I have to enter a drive letter as argument. Because I had known only A: for the floppy drive and C: for the HDD i tried at first with the floppy. Nothing happens, vecause there was no disk in the drive. Then I entered C: ...

Poof, everything deleted...

I was unable to setup that pc again and my so beloved game was gone also.. still sad about it, because that machine would be a real treasure today but it is gone a long time ago.

I find a poor tester copy/pasting data from the test environment to the live one, as he accidentally broke it. I ask the DBA, " why isn't syncing SQL records part of the deployment pipeline?"

"You're front end. This is my job. Go do your job."

"... but it's an easy query, and you're exposing us to human error."

"You need to go sit down."

The best teacher that I've had is one of the teachers at my university lab.
He teaches Data Structures. We had some programming assignments and I was good at it, but whatever I'd do, he'd always find bugs, ask me to resolve it and he'd always give me challenges in the lab which is fun in the lab environment. University labs usually sticks to the sylabbus. I actually learned alot from that experience..

'Trail and Error is the best method to learn programming.'

I think I just blew my own mind here.

Look at this:

Class SomeClass
{
_call($functionName, $arguments)
{
return call_user_func(array('SomeClass','uselessMethod'), 'method');
}

method($foo)
{
return new Adapter($foo)->execute($this);
}

uselessMethod()
{
return $this->method(__FUNCTION__);

}

}
so __FUNCTION__ resolves to
Caller:

You can run that code, whether you comment out uselessMethod, or not.

Adapter is a function that looks for what class to call depending on a database value
and execute the call.

So api basically uses a chain call to do stuff like this in controllers, here's how
I call the above:

$someObject = (new Class($object))->uselessMethod()->doSomething()->doSomethingElse();

But like, eventually my code matured to where all those methods in the chain call have the same one line return that calls my adapter to find the logic to run.

So, basically, I can now have a class with headless function calls that calls a directory of other classes, that are all defined in a contract somewhere. So as long as those classes
all adhere to the contract, it will never return an error.

I can't think of any reason to do this, other than my setup, and I have a sneaky feeling,
as dirty as this trick is, that there's a bad reason my code has come to being able to do this.

Maybe wrong strategy pattern from the beginning?

I'm sure it'll come to me like 3 days from now..

When you debug for 2 hours. Due to a logic error. You go through every line. It all makes sense. You find a semicolon after an if statement... Shouldn't the compiler have caught that?

1. Learn to read and understand the errors and exception messages. While writing code you're going to be facing exceptions most of the time and the real cause of them is under a lot of generic error messages. That and a lot of patience and perseverance.

2. You're going to face clients and bosses that ask you to do a temporary "workaround" even though you know there is a best way to solve a problem even if it takes more time and effort. Don't "crash" against their ideas, try to find a mid-term between the fast and easy work around and the best solution and leave it open to improve it in the future. I have met a lot of developers that let the frustration stops them to be creative just because the approved development is not what they wanted to do.

You motherfucking incompetent useless collection of hairy ballsacks even a trained monkey could do a better job than you do. And I swear once we literally cross the 99% availability rate I will find your headquarters and smash everyone's face into each of your fucking servers then set that whole place on fire.

You forget to flush the DNS cache after moving my server (of course on Friday when else), here is 2 days of error page for my site, whoose instructions a normal user simply couldn't follow. Not to mention it pointed to the wrong article.

Random 503 error, and you aren't​ answering my phone calls, though usually I am the first one who informs you of a fucking problem with your fucking server and I have to wait 5-10 minutes in line while you are figuring out the problem.

And now random forbidden error for my whole page. Out of nothing. I've changed nothing. You said one hour earlier that it's your mistake and it will took around 30 min. Still nothing.

I'm fed up with all your bullshit. Go fuck yourselves.

I'm out...

The feeling when random dudes downvote a question, because a guy who finally earned some points on SO dared to format the code with `<code>`<br> He pasted code, log, even explained a little bit and ~500 point guy even flags it like _unclear_ although there's clearly visible import error.

I mean... as an answerer or moderator, I'd be damn ashamed for such behavior! I have absolutely no problem kick a person with words + explanation in my answer or comment, so that (s)he remembers to ask better questions and feels bad about that, because nooby questions are already answered so many times there.

But to downvote because of formatting even if you have a permission to edit and a flag for low quality or because you can't read ~40 lines of log makes you just a retard and hurt the whole remaining community of guys like me who find time to sit there and answer questions to help another people.

Bring the fun and curiosity back.

School education? Mostly rinse and repeat, learn from heart and do as you are told.

First job? Take these bread crumbs, shit out gold ingots, please.

There are few who had either very kind and gifted teachers / persons in their life or had a strong will / desire to learn by / for themselves - but it's hard to combine fun and curiosity with the - most of the time - very harsh reality and environment we live in.

I'd really wish that it would get back to fun and curiosity and not the endless myriad of bitching, hissing and fighting it usually is.

What I find most tiresome in education is the overflow of information with no value - most content is outdated, wrong, harmful, not precise and especially not helpful.

Thinking about good education I've got very fond memories of hanging out in IRC chats, talking with people who were "ancient" (la me 15-20, them 40 plus ;) ) and not being "shood" away, but rather getting fed by book recommendations, hints, appointments when they had more spare time to explain in private IRC sessions etc.

The atmosphere was always a "we might not have time for it, but we'll try and don't worry if you don't understand it".

When I'm trying to find information today... It's really 90 - 95 % filtering, 4 % try and error, 1 % finding what I need.

Find the error....

Me setting up Webpack for a project

Error: can't resolve ./src

Guess what? ./src exists. So I go searching for an answer, and it turns out webpack looks for ./src/index.js and if it can't find it then it throws an error.

But the error message is: can't resolve ./src

The issue was reported ages ago but webpack devs never improved the error message

THIS IS WHY WEBPACK SUCKS 💩

Yes it might seem like a little detail but it just makes it all the more obvious that Webpack sucks right from the start when you set up a project the error message is stupid and unspecific

So I found this consulting job a while ago thinking that some extra cash while studying would be nice to have.

I meet with the guy, a researcher trying to start a business up, good for him I think, maybe we'll hit it off, continue working, why not? Except he has no clue how to write working code, all he ever did was writing matlab scripts he says, thats why he hired me he says.
Okay, fine, you do your job I do mine.

He hands me the contract, its about comparing two libraries, finding out which one is better suited for his job, cool, plots and graphs everywhere.

Except this is an unpaid job. YOU WHAT?! It's a test job. FINE. At least it'll look good on my resume.

We talk about the paid part where I'm supposed to scale the two libraries, looks good, as expected from an ML engineering perspective. It comes to payment. The dude has no idea how taxes work, says he has a set amount to pay and not a penny more. I explain with examples how taxes are paid, how you get reimbursed for them and so on. Won't budge. Screws me over.

Opens the door for other jobs I think, he'll learn next time I think and take the job.

Fast forward a month, 90% of the job done, he adds a third thing to compare. Gives a github link to a repo with 2 authors, last commit a year ago. There are links to a 404, claiming compiled jars. Fuck.

Not my first rodeo, git clone that shit, make compile, the works. The thing uses libs that ain't in no repo, that would be too easy. Run, error, find lib, remake all the things, rinse repeat.

The scripts they got have hardcoded paths and filenames for 2 year old binaries, remake that shit.

It works, at least I get a prompt now. Try the example files they got, no luck, some missing unlinked binary somewhere, but not a name mentioned. Cross reference the shit outta the libs mentioned on readme, find the missing shit, down it.

Available versions are too new, THE MOLDING NUTCRACKER uses some bug in an old version of the lib.

I give up. Fuck this. This ain't worth the money OR time. Wanker...

My friend once told me, that when he was trying really hard to find an error on his code (which caused the app couldn't run), he didn't get any of syntax error.

But when he try to skim the query, he found a little query typo that cause the long development delay due to that error. He mistyped SELECT as SELET.

For you who don't get the joke. SELET, in my language (Javanese Language), means ASS/BUTT/ARSE. My friend felt like to be cursed by his own code, after searching the error.

HOW THE FUCK

DO I USE A NPM PACKAGE

THAT DOESN'T SUPPORT IMPORT X FROM PACKAGE

IN A TYPE:MODULE

REPO?

WHY THE FUCK CAN'T NODE JUST SUPPORT BOTH

WHAT IN THE FUCK

HOW DOES WEBPACK LET YOU USE BOTH?!

I CANNOT FIND A WORK AROUND FOR ERROR

SyntaxError: The requested module 'file-type' does not provide an export named 'default'

WHAT THE FUCK?

DO I NEED TO USE A DIFFERENT PACKAGE?

WHAT THE FUCK

A wild error appears.
Love to find these out in the wild

This is a short tale that can be summed up as "oh fuck meee".

After finishing an API the night before I settled in for a day of bug fixes and tidy ups. Until slack went off.

The front end dev was getting an error, a code breaking error. After doing the standard process of request checking i went okay must be me. I find the script that is has the error and the line that it is failing at.

Que 2 hours of the full cycle of anger, sadness, pleading, and finally acepting that it had finally happened I had gone insane. The code was to documentation best practise correct and it still had the same error.

I the cheaked the DB on a whim and I found that my code was not wrong and it was doing exactly what I wanted the data however had a single record that was old and the schema had change juuussstt enoigh to break everything at that record. One 3 secound deletion later code ran perfectly.

I am beginning to hate the relationship between email and my clients. I never thought it would come to the point where email is the worst communication platform I've ever used because some of my clients simply don't know how to use it properly.

I have one client who never uses the subject header in his emails. This makes conversational threads very difficult to follow, and I can't just scan the inbox I have for him. I have to actually do searches on my emails just to find recent conversations.

For some reason nobody knows how to start a new email thread. I have multiple clients that will just take the last email that I sent them, regardless of what it's about, and start a new conversation completely unrelated to the other email by hitting"reply". I end up with email threads that are 60 to 100 emails long and contain many different subjects, which again makes it hard to find anything. Never mind that they've usually put two or three important attachments, or username password combinations, or other valuable information in there amongst all the noise.

Worst of all, I have a few clients and co-workers who insist on starting a new email thread whenever anything about a particular issue comes up. This means that just today I have five separate email threads about the same goddamn issue from the same damn person. Am I supposed to respond to each thread with the same damned information? One of these people is supposed to be both a media consultant and an SEO expert and really should know better. Also, if you do actually send me an email with a subject like "the robot.txt error", please don't give me one sentence about that and five paragraphs about what color you'd like the background to be. That's ridiculous. How the hell am I supposed to find that later? Especially since we already discussed this in the other email that sitting in my inbox.

I swear I am setting up a bug tracking system simply so that my clients can log in and leave me bug reports, and feature requests, and will stop filling up my poor email boxes with what amounts to piles and piles threads that I have to sort through.

For a person who suffers with a form of ADD this is extremely frustrating. Why is it so difficult for my colleagues and clients to write good emails with good subject lines, and reply to the right damn emails?

Am I just being too anal, or does this bother others as well?

I got a dayjob in a company. I got an error. I cannot solve it and I am so desperate. So I go to stackoverflow, nobody answers. I post on git issue, but nobody solves the problem. So, I pay someone to solve it, like Hackhands.com to find a mentor. There is no mentor that can help. So I pay more, hired a peer, and finally a development team just to help me. They get paid only if they solved it.

But each of my folks repeat my same steps, asking on stackoverflows or github, and none of these help. So, they end up hiring their own friends and mentors. Their friends also end up paying (pay before problem solved) someone to help them.

their friends pay for friends of friends, then friends of friends of friends

And all of a sudden it becomes a giant MLM scheme.

And those people they paid for actually work for a company behind the scene which I am a founder of 😁

Multi billions startup idea, is it?

Mom: my photos are gone. Can you find them?
Me: *searches the phone an finds nothing.*
Me: i cant find them.
Me: *Tries to copy 5GB of random Data*
Phone: Copy Error
------------------
Its a noname china phone my Father bought. I warned him about it, because they stole the Samsung design and it said that it was Version 8.1, but didnt had the features 8.1 has
------------------
Me: The Phone deleted it.
Mom: why would a Phone delete my Photos?
Me: because the manufacturer wanted to maximize the money he can get and made an device with higher specs on the paper than it has and manipulated the internal tools to hide this.
------------------
My father asked me why she is so furious. I said to him: because you got screwed so easily.

When you keep on looking to find the cause of the Internal Server error 500

Have anyone felt this before?

You Google loads of different tutorial on something, find one most recent tutorial... Do it and when compile, a lot of error pops out. Go to the github code page and realise the author did not include the line that was required to run smoothly in the tutorial page/video?

porra; caralho; toma no cu.

this fucking shit xamarin. I wish the ass who programed the xamarin vs2017 integration to go fuck off.

srsly, I just want to fucking code this fucking fucker VS2017 keep shitting all around me

first I was gonna install it. didn't install because no memory left. fair enough, my fault there.

cleaned 35 gbs.

finish installing VS, with xamarin. FIRST GOD DAMN TIME I create fucking project, 2 fucking errors and 3 warnings. I DIDN'T EVEN TYPE A COMMA.

ok, tried fucking it. it seems to be conflict between version of Android and xamarin forms. fucker you it shouldn't be like this. anyway.

tried downloading the updated Android version.

it failed at 80%! what error you ask? missing fucking space ok, fuck that thing is huge, ok, my fault again. uninstalled all programs I was not using, all projects I'm not current working on. more fucking 30GB free. tried again. ANDROID IS TOO FUVKING HUGE CAN'T INSTALL IN 30GB!!!

Ok. instead of updating android, gonna downgrade xamarin, can't downgrade. ok gonna remove and install an early version.

unistalled. CAN'T FIND XAMARIN DLLS.

I was like, fuck this project, gonna start a new one. ok, all seems fine, for some weird reason. Except no. I try adding a new page, ops, APPARENTLY VS2017 CAN'T LOAD A GODDAMN .XAML

Ok, I can create a .cs page. done, except now I get a fucking timeout error. fuck.

I search the internet for a workaround, see a guy saying I could manually add a .xaml + .cs by creating this files and then adding them to the proj file.

did it. I go again, everything seems fine. but now I can't freaking reference the damn page.

I'm fucking losing my mind here.

In the mean time I have to turn in this project at the end of the week AND I CAN'T FUCKING OPEN THE GOD DAMN FREKING PROJECT PROPERLY!

FUCK. MY. LIFE.
FUCK XAMARIM AS WELL
FUCK VISUAL STUDIO
FUCK MICROSOFT
FUCK THAT DAMN SSD
FUCK THAT BOSS WHO THINK THAT A 128GB SSD IS ENOUGH
FUCK IT ALL...

In college when we had programming labs where we had to use the schools unix server to compile and run.

My professor was very bad at explaining what actually needed to be done in the labs to the point where even the TAs didn't know what to do.

We were suppose to write an application in C to find out by "trial and error" how large we could make an array (or something like that, it's been too long). This not being explained well and no one knowing that much about C, I wrote a loop that just kept growing an array until it couldn't anymore. I watched it consume 72GB or memory from the servers before quitting the loop and realizing with the TA what the professor really meant.

I now feel bad for the IT staff monitoring the system wondering where 72GB just went...

Speaking of annoying stuff in coding. What the fuck is it with the localized error messages?

No. Fuck you. No. Give me the English version so I can google it and find answers from the huge English speaking community instead of the tiny community of my language.

Oh my God I'm a failure. Been working on this booking system backend for two weeks, refactored some code, and now it doesn't work at all.

I've gone back through the entire thing, and I can't find the problem.

Open up indeed, start browsing for low-skill jobs. Maybe the carnies will have me back!

*Re-reads error message, adds missing underscore to function call.

Fuck i hate myself right now...
> Wanted to install minikube on my homeserver(which doesn't have a graphics card in it)
> Error: Virtualization is not enabled
> Take the server out of my rack, opens my desktop pc, takes the gpu out, puts in it my server, and then goes into bios.
> Find that virtualization is enabled.
> Realize that I'm running a dozen docker containers on a daily basis from my server, so OF FREAKING COURSE virtualization is enabled...

So after all that, I figure out that I should probably just google my issue, which leads to me find out, it's just an issue with virtualbox, and simply running 'minikube config set vm-driver none', it fixes it, and I am now running minikube.............

Took half an hour of work, to realize that I'm a complete fucking idiot, who shouldn't be allowed near a computer

Let's play spot the error!

Hint:
THERE'S A COMMA ON THE END OF THE LINE THAT HAS BEEN CAUSING MY LIST TO BE WRAPPED IN A SECOND LIST AND IT HAS TAKEN ME AN HOUR TO FIND.

Good luck finding it, it's hard!

YEEEEEESS! FINALLY!!!!
After 4 days trying to find why my build script was showing an error! I finally fixed it!

I still doesn't work, but, hey, it's not the same error message!

The world is full of write-only devs. People who never look at the code they create or change.
That's the only explanantion I can find for the fact that everytime I look into some code I have never touched or haven't seen for a while, I instantly spot at least one error that is so elementary, that there is absolutely no chance to miss it.

Chasing down reference errors in Visual Studio for 20 minutes only to find out it just needed to be restarted.

The error messages lie!

One of my colleagues tried upgrading his Windows 7 laptop to Windows 10... he had multiple issues getting the installer to run but got past it after a couple of hours troubleshooting.

He left for lunch when it got to 81% installed, and got back an hour later to find "Something Happened" proudly displaying on-screen.

He clicked 'okay' and it just started rolling back to Windows 7 with no explanation as to what happened, or even any error codes!

Thanks Windows!
As helpful as always!

It has been a long long time since I posted, a lot has happened the past couple of months.

I lost my grandfather, I got a nice dev job and God I miss ranting here. I finally published my side project and all I have to say is

AWS is a b*tch! But beautiful at the same time, had to learn a lot the old way (trial and error).

I don't have any anime pictures as I've changed phones recently but I find this picture just as awesome.

Hope you are having a great day ranters.

I threw an error into my code to find where the code was having trouble but instead of raising and error it fixes the problem and runs flawlessly

At this point I can't tell if python loves me or hates me

I am currently looking for a DAW (Digital Audio Workstation), because my music projects are starting to get a little too complex for Audacity.

So I started looking for a good, easy-to-learn, ideally free program, and quickly learned that Avid now has a free version of Pro Tools called First.

So I go to their site and fill out the registration form to get the download. In addition to creating an account with Avid, you also need to create one with iLok, which apparently has something to do with how they manage their licenses. Kinda overkill for a free program, but okay...

I download the program (about 3gigs...), install it and try to start it. It gives me an error message about missing some service. Okay? I'm confused because I notice that an 'Application Manager' service has appeared in my tray, and when I open that I can log into my new account just fine. But it still doesn't work.

There's a link in the error message to the iLok website, and it looks like ai need to dowload and install another component. Why didn't that get installed with the program if it's required?

Hmm...

So I go to the iLok site, download it and install it. Pro Tools First still won't start. I realize that the PTF installer asked me to reboot, which I didn't do because: a) I always have a lot of windows open, and b) How often is a reboot ACTUALLY required? Why would you need to reboot?

So I (begrudgingly) reboot, and now the program seems to start initializing... but then it throws an error message about some plugin that it can't load because it doesn't work for the 64 bit version. Then... why are you even looking for it?
And then it says something like: 'I can't handle that, I'm just gonna shut down'.

What?

I try starting it again. Same error appears, but then it gets past it this time... Only to throw another error message about something else it can't load, and therefore it must shut down.

Deep breath.

Third time is the charm, the program actually made it to the project create/load screen! Huzzah!
So I look around a bit, but don't do much. It doesn't seem too intuitive to me, so I start watching some tutorials on YouTube from Avid themselves. It's a little late by now, so I don't get my hands dirty that day.

Next time I want to try out the program I start it up, still get error messages, but it does seem to initialize okay. But then the 'Create project' button doesn't react when I press it.

It turns out that the program takes a looong time to log in to the avid account, even though the manager service is running and logged in...

When it finally logs on I create a new blank project, but it doesn't ask me where to save it to. I see there is a counter saying 1/3 and looking around I find some info about 'cloud based projects'.

It would seem that this program only supports saving projects to the cloud, and you get only 3 projects total. Three. THREE?

Ahem...

I add an instrument track to my new project and select the one and only plugin, which is a synth. I don't see the plugin window, like in the tutorials I watched. I fiddle around with the windows, but I only manage to get the layout fucked up. There's a handy 'Window' menu, but none of the options resets the view. The main window is now sporting a WINDOWS FUCKING 7 BORDER! And partially blocking the view of the top menu.

Blaaargh!

Frustrated, I shut the program down and restart it. I now select one of the project templates (after waiting for it to LOG IN AGAIN!) in the hope that I might have a bit more luck with that starting point.

But when the template has loaded, out of nowhere, the program goes from maximized to windowed mode! And the fucking Win7 border is back again, still messing with the main menu!

FFS!

I get the sucker maximized again and select one of the synth tracks, and Lo and Behold! The synth plugin window actually shows up! But of course there is no sound produced when I play, neither with the keyboard or my midi keyboard.

Oh no, that would have been too easy.

I see some the meters moving when I play, but no sound is produced. I check the options menu, but find out nothing useful except for the fact that the program only support 48kHz sample rate. That's pretty disappointing when you have a 192kHz/24bit soundcard.

I'm done. This piece of shit software is NOT for me. It's bloated, complicated to sign up for and install, extremely limited and buggy as hell!

The final insult is that it takes 5 minutes to uninstall because there is no uninstall option in the so-called 'Application Manager' (of course fucking not!), and doing it through Programs & Features there are 5 (FIVE!!) different apps and services to uninstall, one by one.

0/10, would not recommend.

Well what an adventure with this SSD...😑
my sis' laptop is from 2013-ish(?) and has/had a slow HDD in it. I wanted to speed it up, before her study, so I bought a new internal SSD (no new laptop wanted).
Created a bootable USB, exchanged the hard drives and install the OS on it. Seems easy enough...
The laptop restarts to finish its process ... laptop shuts down immediately, no warning whatsoever. 😳🤨
Start it up, loading screen, fan gets louder and louder ... instant shut down.😳🤨🤨.
Redo process, this time landing on blue-screen, error code critical process died? ... instant shut down again.🤔
Restart from old HDD, normal.😐
Retry with boot USB and reinstall SSD. Setup process copying files, meanwhile instant shut down.😳 Please don't tell me!😩 Since every part of the laptop was working, except the new inserted SSD, I thought "FUCK not a broken SSD!😣"
I had my own PC with internal SSD slot, so tried to find out, whether it would be broken...
All starting up fine??🤨🤨
Ok then? Finish the setup for the third time now ... everything up and running.😐🤷
Normal shut down, unplug, plug back onto laptop, it works. HOW?? WHY?? 😕
Why the fuck are you suddenly working? 😐🤷🤷🤷
That's some magic...

that moment of pride when you can't find your error in google or SO..and at the same tym, the sense of realisation that you will have to figure out the solution yourself

If I write something erroneously on SO because the program or operating system uses it erroneously in the error, don't edit my fucking question to what you think it should be. People who Google for the same error aren't going to find it as a possible fucking solution. How fucking hard is this to understand?

When you've spent hours debugging a problem of session not being saved and there is no error. And then you find this in the code:

try{
save_session();
}catch(Exception $e){}// added by another member of the team

🙈😖🖕🏻

The Windows SDK was failing to install because the version of vcredist was newer then it needed.

The setup simply failed without saying anything about that. I had to see the log and find out that vcredist failed to installed with error code 5100 and find that out from Google how to fix that.

Why is MS like this? Why not just say that your vcredist version is too new for this program? Just unistall it and it will be fixed?

I just wasted 2 hours behind this. If my work never needed it I would never even think about using this.

Last year I had to program most of my projects in Python. I like the language, don't get me wrong. But man oh man if you indent your line of code one too many fucking times, it can be such a pain in the ass to find your error...

Even if it may clutter your code (not in my opinion), that's why I love them curly brackets and languages which use them <3

I'm here in my bed. I can't sleep and in less than 5 hours I will have an important exam. I was thinking that a few months ago I went to a IT company as a school program. I would have to stay there for 2 weeks and "work" for them.

Upon arrival, the guy who had to monitor me gave me a sheet of paper with 5 alghoritmic problems to solve. He tells me to use java and hands me a laptop. naturally with windows. I try to look for some ideas but I can not find anything. I go to the control panel and search for something. Obviously there is a lot of bloatware and nothing catches my attention. then strangely I find something called oracle ... something ... but when trying to open it it gives me an error.

Fuck me. I decided to open notebook(normal one not ++ or something) and start solving the problems trying to remember the names of the methods and the classes based on what I had learned in school. then the guy comes back and looks at me puzzled. I tell him I did not find any IDE for java and the only one I found seem to give me an error. The guy double clicks and the program opens...fucking shit... He tells me to finish the problems and goes away perplexed. I copy the code from notepad to the IDE, I check the errors, I run it and the add some comments and I call the guy. he looks at the code, says that everything seems fine and then assigns me other things to do.

Now. HOW FUCKING STUPID MUST SOMEONE BE TO THINK THAT WRITING JAVA IN NOTEPAD IS A VIABLE CHOICE, AMONG ALL THE POSSIBLE SANE CHOICES I COULD HAVE MADE LIKE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE ERROR OF THE IDE OR CALL THE GUY... NO. MY LITTLE SHOTTY FUCKING BRAIN DECIDED THAT NOTEPAD WAS A GOOD CHOICE. IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME IN THE SAME MOMENT THAT I OPENED NOTEPAD I WOULD BITCH SLAP MYSELF SO HARD THAT I WOULD LOSE MY SOULD AND THE LAST 2 NEURON THAT MADE THAT SHITTY CHOICE. I WOULD BITCH SLAP MYSELF SO HARD THAT THE KINETIC ENERGY PRODUCED WOULD COLLAPSE THE UNIVERSE ITSELF. AND FROM THE DARKNESS A NEW UNIVERSE WILL BE BORN. A UNIVERSE WHERE THERE IS NO JAVA OR WINDOWS. A UNIVERSE WHERE MY 2 NEURONS WOULD HAVE MADE THE SHITTIEST DUMBEST CHOICE EVER IN A I LAST MISERABLE SELF DESTRUCTIVE ATTEMPT.

but then I come on devrant and I read about people who did thing worse than writing java on notepad and then everything is fine

PS my English is so bad I had to use Google translate, write an original version, translate it and do a side by side comparison with my translated version to check If I could improve something. Don't now If It improved the quality or not...

If they followed my suggestion and went straight to debugging the server issues they would have been solved it from week 1 and everyone would have thought the migration had a minor performance hiccup. In fact, we have already done such at least twice before and nobody batted an eye.

Instead they self-labelled the migration a failure on first error, setting the stage for apologizing to the client, and put themselves on the spot for a whole staging / production signoff, replication / backup worfklow, almost a blue-green "seamless" deployment reminiscent of DigitalOcean.

Well they're not DigitalOcean, and anyone who has spent any time understanding users knows they will not participate in "new system" tests long enough to find or report issues.

So of course the migration stretched out to almost three months up until the whole reason for the migration - the rapidly escalating risk of the old provider disappearing - hit like a freight train and now they have to go through the problem of debugging the server like I told them to on week 1. Only this time they've set the client mindset against it, lost any chance of reverting, have had grave risk for data loss, and are under pressure to debug other people's code in real-time.

This is why I don't trust devs to do ops. A dev's first solution to any problem is to throw tech at it.

How deep does the rabbit hole go?

Problem: Convert numpy array containing an audio time series to a .wav file and save on disk

Error 1:
Me: pip install "stupid package"
Console: Can't pip, behind a proxy

Me: Finds workaround after several minutes

Error 2:
Conversion works, but audio file on disk doesn't work
Encoding Error only works with array of ints not floats
BUT I NEED IT TO BE FLOATS

Looks for another library
scikits.audiolab <- should work
Me: pip --proxy=myproxy:port install "this shit"
Command Line *spits back huge error*

Googles error <- You need to install this package with a .whl file
Me: Downloads .whl file <- pip install "filename".whl
Command Line: ERROR: scikits.audiolab-0.11.0-cp27-cp27m-win32.whl is not a supported wheel on this platform.

Googles Error <- Need to see supported file formats
Me: python -c "import pip; print(pip.pep425tags.get_supported())"
Console: AttributeError: module 'pip' has no attribute 'pep425tags'

Googles Error <- Use another command for pip v10
Me: python -c "import pip._internal; print(pip._internal.pep425tags.get_supported())"
Console: complies

Me: pip install "filename".whl
Console: complies

Me: *spends 30 minutes to find directory where I should paste .dll file*
Finds Directory (was hidden btw), pastes file

Me: Runs .py file
Console: from version import version as _version ModuleNotFoundError: No module named 'version'

Googles Error <- Fix is: "just comment out the import statement"
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Console: HAHAHAHAHA

Unfortunately this shit still didn't work after two hours of debugging, lmao fuck this

I do not understand people who critique Python for using indentation to mark code blcoks. I've seen multiple posts being like "Uhh in Python a missing space breaks everything and it's so hard to find it". Yeah so hard when the interpreter throws a parse error and tells you exactly which line it's on. Let me go back to a bracefest language, misplace a brace halfway through the file, and get told there's a syntax error at the end, and spend a whole two minutes finding it.

I'm working part time as I'm a student and I always thought working in a company would be awesome as I learned programming all by myself and could actually do things now.
30% is updating, compiling
50% is using google to find out if I can even use 27 .net frameworks together and make it work on Android and iOS
15% is finding out what the error code is supposed to mean
And 5% is actually using a programming language.

Okay. I’m upset. So the recent .NET update Microsoft put out fried SharePoint which I am currently the main point of contact for at our company. In addition, my only current projects are creating workflows.

I was publishing a workflow and got an error. I googled the error and found that it was the .NET update that caused it. Internet says to edit the web.config file for your web apps and it will be good to go. I go to our networks guy (only available supervisor) and explain what happened and ask about the recent patch and whether this could be the cause. He says that his team doesn’t actually handle the patches so I should speak with the HelpDesk lead (don’t ask).

I go to the HelpDesk lead and explain the situation, explain the solution and ask for what to do next. Keep in mind that this whole thing takes two hours because it’s Friday and everyone is out and I can’t do any of my work while I’m waiting on this. HelpDesk lead says “you have an admin account, I trust you. Go fix it” so I think uh okay.... I’m a junior and not even technically an IT person but sure. I know how to do it - but got nervous about fucking it up because our entire organization uses Sharepoint.

Nevertheless I go to my desk and look for the root directories and find that they’re on a server somewhere that I have no access to. I message the Helpdesk guy and tell him this and he says to talk to the developer supervisor. Great! He’s super nice and helpful and will totally understand! Only he’s not in. Neither is half of his team.

I go to his team and look around and find nobody but realize I may be able to catch one of the guys I know and work with in the break room. I start leaving and am stopped by a developer who is generally nice and funny. I explain the situation and he says “you... YOU need to edit a config file?” And scoffs. He demands to see what I’m talking about.

I walk him to my machine and show him what’s going on and all the research I did. I start to realize he thinks I’m overstepping and I begin to apologize and explain the details to why I was asked to do it and then I say “I really shouldn’t even be the one doing this” he says “no you should not. This isn’t getting done today. Put in a request, include your research and we will see what we can do when the supervisor gets back next week”

His tone was like I was in trouble and I know that I’m not, but it’s my goal to end up on that team and I just feel like shit about this whole situation. To top it off my boss pulled me off of two projects because of unrelated issues (and nothing to do with me) so I have basically nothing to do and I just feel very discouraged. I feel dumb and like I should have gone to the developers first. I just wanted to make it easy on everyone and do my research. I feel like I keep being put in situations above my level (I’m one of two juniors in a 16 person shop, the other one is an intern) and then “getting in trouble” for working beyond my scope.

Anyways.... fuck Microsoft

We recently had an error in legacy systems about a user trying to find photographers in Virginia but somehow it shows photographers in Mexico. Apparently it's because both Mexico and Virginia have the same zip code XD guess whatever it uses to search stuff didn't think the company would be used past the US.

Tldr: fucked up windows boot sector somehow, saved 4 months worth of bachelor thesis code, never hold back git push for so long!

Holy jesus, I just saved my ass and 4 months of hard work...
I recently cloned one of my SSDs to a bigger one and formatted the smaller one, once I saw it went fine. I then (maybe?) sinned by attaching an internal hdd to the system while powered on and detached, thinking "oh well, I might have just done smth stupid". Restart the system: Windows boot error. FUCK! Only option was to start a recovery usb. Some googling and I figured I had to repair the boot section. Try the boot repair in the provided cmd. Access denied! Shit! Why? Google again and find a fix. Some weird volume renaming and other weird commands. Commands don't work. What is it now? Boot files are not found. What do I do now? At this point I thought about a clean install of Windows. Then I remembered that I hadn't pushed my code changes to GitHub for roughly 4 months. My bachelor thesis code. I started panicking. I couldn't even find the files with the cmd. I panicked even more. I looked again at the tutorials, carefully. Tried out some commands and variations for the partition volumes, since there wasn't much I could do wrong. Suddenly the commands succeeded, but not all of them? I almost lost hope as I seemed to progress not as much as I hoped for. I thought, what the hell, let's restart and see anyway. Worst case I'll have to remember all my code😅🤦.
Who would have thought that exactly this time it would boot up normally?

First thing I immediately did: GIT PUSH --ALL ! Never ever hold back code for so long!
Thanks for reading till the end! 👌😅

After hours of thoroughly reading code to find the error...

What you wanted:
If (something == true)
What you had:
If (something = true)

Hopefully no one ever finds that error before me!

Finally figured out that 500.30 error.
You won't believe it, but y'all probably will... But I solved my problem by fixing literally one line of code.

This of course pissed me off because this problem persisted for an entire week, even my supervisor could not figure it out.

But I learned so much in failing to find it and making wrong assumptions along the way.

Solving a problem is sometimes just half the battle, the journey along the way counts for something.

My supervisor was super impressed too, so that made me even more happy.

Anyways onto the next problem. 🤪

I am learning java at school and my teacher asked me to make a work on JTA (java transaction API). There's not a lot of tutos on it on the web so I say to myself "go on, give it a try, you'll only learn by trying."
I finally find how to make the @TransactionType, where to put the @Stateless, my test works, nice. Finally I want to try a case where it shouldn't work, just to be sure the rollback works well. The test goes and... NullPointerException. Wtf ! Normally, my catch is supposed to, well, catch the error !

And finally, I was just stupid. My catch worked great. But I put a "throw e" inside.

Now I wanna hides under blankets, cry, eat cake and never see my coworkers again.

So.. I'm giving one of my employers webapps a visual refresher, new company branding and whatnot.

And then I stumbled onto a check that is not returning what anybody expects, and, well , I'm busy fixing things, yeah..? so I go digging.. 🤔

```
function isDefined(obj) {
return !(typeof obj === "undefined") || obj !== null;
}
```

Here's the fun part, these particular lines have been in the code base since before 2017, which is when my Git history starts, because that's when we migrated projects from Visual SourceSafe 6 over to Git. Yes, you read that right. They were still using VSS in 2017.

I've begged and pleaded with my last 3 bosses to let us thrown this piece of shit out our second story window and rewrite it properly. But no, we don't have time to rewrite, so we must fix what we have instead.

I lost 4 hours of my life earlier today, tracking down another error that has been silently swallowed by a handler with its "console.log" call commented out, only to find that it's always been like that, and it's an "expected error". 🤦

Please, just fucking kill me now... I just, I can't deal with this shit anymore.

IT department of client still doesn't get its shit together. Previously, I've ranted that they insist I access their GitLab through a fucking RDP.

Me: requests an account to their Confluence space

Them: give me a Confluence account. Naturally, Confluence requests that I confirm my email. That needs to be confirmed in the inbox of my.name@theircompany.com. Mail servers hosted by Azure, using Outlook.

Me: ok, let's configure my Outlook, 2FA as they configured to demand it from me... install MS's authenticator app, ok so far so good... Now I'm ready to login and find that email from Confluence and... ERROR 500 INVALID LICENSE

Fucking hell. You just love your siloes so much you actually make it impossible to access it and feel good about my own good will.

>mvn clean install
[ERROR] Bruh, couldn't find any of these classes you're talking about.
>mvn clean install
[INFO] The job has completed without errors.

Seriously, why is Java/Maven/Spring so temperamental. It's like it has to be in a good mood to compile for me.

I hate dev politics...

PM: Hey there is a weird error happening when I upload this file on production, but it works on our test environments.

Me: After looking at this error, I don't find any issues with the code, but this variable is set when the application is first loaded, I bet it wasn't loaded correctly our last deployment and we just need to reload the application.

Senior Dev: We need to output all of the errors and figure out where this error is coming from. Dump out all the errors on everything in production!!

Me: That's dumb... the code works on test... it's not the code.. it's the application.

Senior dev: %$*^$>&÷^> $

Me: Hey I have an idea! If test works... I can go ahead and deploy last week's changes to prod and dump those errors you were talking about!!

Senior Dev: OK

Me: *runs Jenkins job the deploys the new code and restarts the application*

PM: YAY you fixed it!!

Senior Dev: Did you sump put those errors like I said.

Me: Nope didn't touch a thing... I just deployed my irrelevant changes to that error and reloaded the application.

OpenCL...

Okay so I'm completely new to OpenCL and I just put some stuff together to get a simple GPU Kernel running. Well that worked pretty good.

The reason I got into OpenCL was because I wanted to do some simple SHA1 cracking on my GPU. What I did was, I got a fast implementation of SHA1 from the internet, which works perfect in normal C++, but for OpenCL I have to rewrite some things. So I replaced all the memset and memcpy and so on with simple for loops and it still worked. Now, this should work on OpenCL, too, I thaught. God I was wrong!

Somehow the clBuildKernel got executed normally, but when I try to access the returned value (the error code) I get an Access Violation? It just doesn't make any sense to me?

Well I will try some stuff tomorrow again and I will find a solution for sure, but still, until now I just don't understand it.

So i tried installing elementary on my friend's computer

I keep ending up with this error : 'in it ram fs : cannot find a medium with a live file system'

This error can be replicated on one other computer but works without the error on another one.

I'm using a UEFI boot on all of them
What I've tried :
1. Switching USB ports
2. Burning the image using Rufus, lily USB
3.secure boot on/off
4. Converted any dynamic partitions to basic
5. Converted MBR to GPT
6. Disabled Intel PTT

I've tried Ubuntu as well, same results

This is my understanding of "Machine Learning" in general

There are two sets of data:

1. In first data set, all the properties are known
2. In the second set, some properties are not known.

The goal of the machine learning is to find the value of the unknown properties of the second data set.

We do this by finding (or training) a suitable machine learning model (mathematical, logical or any combination of), that in the first data set, computes the value of the properties, which are unknown in second data set, with minimum error since we already know the real value of those properties.

Now, use this model to predict the unknown properties from the second data set.

So, the Network I was on was blocking every single VPN site that I could find so I could not download proton onto my computer without using some sketchy third-party site, so, being left with no options and a tiny phone data plan, I used the one possible remaining option, an online Android emulator. In the emulator running at like 180p I once again navigated to proton VPN, downloaded the windows version, and uploaded it to Firefox send. Opened send on my computer, downloaded the file, installed it, and realized my error, I need access to the VPN site to log in.

In a panic, I went to my phone ready to use what little was left of data plan for security, and was met with no signal indoors. Fuck. New plan. I found a Xfinity wifi thing, and although connecting to a public network freaked me out, I desided to go for it because fuck it. I selected the one hour free pass, logged in, and it said I already used it, what? When?, So I created a new account, logged in, logged into proton, and disconnected, and finally, I was safe.

Fuck the wifi provider for discouraging a right to a private internet and fuck the owner for allowing it. I realize how bad it was to enter my proton account over Xfinity wifi, but I was desperate and desperate times call for desperate means. I have now changed my password and have 2fa enabled.

I decided to tweak my two years old-mild overclocking on my main/home pc, to get more juice out of it.

Started with small steps running benchmarks each time I upped the clock.
Didnt crash me once up until it crashed while windows was booting after restart.
I thought to myself, that's normal, now I just have to lower it a bit until I find the sweet spot.

After windows finished crash dumping, restarted, lowered clock from bios, and headed to boot windows.

Windows recovery came up to scan my installation, pretty normal after a bsod.
I was waiting for it to finish, thinking that ofc there is no error you silly windows, until the recovery said that it could not recognize the error.

Proceeding to boot normal windows via the correspndent button in the recovery, the recovery itself came up again scanning for errors. I waited again only for the same outcome, and restarted my pc.
Yeap the recovery again scanning for errors.

How the hell did my boot became corrupted after just a crash. I've been fighting since yesterday for hours to fix this shitty situation but to no avail. I really dont want to clean install...

I couldnt even sleep well last night thinking that I have to fix this after work today...

Fuck my life, fuck windows

all documentation points to an Invalid auth token being code 400 (ignore the fact that this is a code in the JSON response and not HTTP)

Me: here iz credential. Plz send datas
API: haha fock off and die mate, then credentials you got there aren’t workin’
API: code 998 invalid auth token
Me: *speechless* so that’s why it took me longer than it did to find that error, because YOUR CODE WAS MISSING ALL MY CHECKS FOR CODE 400.

Why can’t people design apis properly.

So I decided to switch over to Ubuntu to get used to it and have fun with it along with trying to use Vim just as a side thing for experience (I'm still studying anyways and its semester break).

So I setup Linux in an external disk, booted Ubuntu, setup everything and then loaded a side project coded in C++ and Allegro into Ubuntu.

A few hours of googling and trying to setup Allegro to be properly installed and understanding how to use GCC with Allegro, it finally found the library and one of the cpp files gave an error that is not "cannot find allegro.h". That's great!

Added all the other additional cpp files into the command and added all the includes and there goes the terminal lit up with errors ;_; I'm so tempted to ditch everything and go back to Visual Studios

At work, all errors within the site are logged into our database with a subject and error column. SQL errors are logged in the subject field while the traceback is put in the error column. However, a lot of SQL errors are really large and exceed the max character width of the subject field, causing yet another SQL error, and the cycle repeats. This recursive error has been the bane of my existence, because 1) it times my local dev instance out and 2) the error doesn't end up getting logged because the server both freezes and the error can't be inserted in the database. You can't even begin to imagine how many hours I've wasted trying to find what line I changed cause total and utter failure with absolutely 0 error logging. Next thing on my todo list is to fix this fucking issue since the head dev refuses to get it done.

This moment when you try to find the fault in your code for hours which causes an random error and then you restart your dev environment and the error is away.

What is debugging an application?

Sticking in it for hours, for fixing the error. Finally when it is done, you find it is already there in SO :/.

#myFirstHackathonExperience

I am currently signing up for a college and need to accept some rules. First of all I have to accept some rules concerning some IT stuff. These rules should be found on their website. But they are nowhere to be found. At least they have a search function. Using this function I was able to find some old websites that did not even include the terms I searched for.
One search result pointed to a PDF viewer with the error message 'Failed to load PDF document.'. Assuming that the actual pdf document is somewhere referenced in the source, I open up the DevTools and search for 'pdf'. Quickly I found a fucked up URL ending in 'pdf'. Somehow the domain name repeated twice. This probably caused the prior mentioned error message. After copying and fixing the link I can finally read the (7 years old) rules.

Maybe this is a requirement to find these rules to be able to sign up.?

Error: Can't find Python executable "C:\Users\*****\AppData\Local\Programs\Python\Python36-32\python.EXE", you can set the PYTHON env variable.

hmmm what if I go to that location

Python 3.6.4 (v3.6.4:d48eceb, Dec 19 2017, 06:04:45) [MSC v.1900 32 bit (Intel)] on win32

ಠ_ಠ

i hate people who join the company with a engineering in computer science degree and then can't even setup freaking java on their system.
like that is one of the basic languages taught to programmers, how do you graduate CS yet not know how to setup java!!!!!
this idiot today tired setting up eclipse without java and got errors and comes to me saying your files are corrupt.... i ask what happens and he shows me a error message box saying cannot find java paths... and then says i keep getting this error!!!
like freaking read the damn error and fix it. you're an engineering graduate for gods sake!!!!

¡rant|rant

Nice to do some refactoring of the whole data access layer of our core logistics software, let me tell an story.

The project is around 80k lines of code, with a lot of integrations with an ERP system and an sql database.

The ERP system is old, shitty api for it also, only static methods through an wrapper to an c++ library

imagine an order table.

To access an order, you would first need to open the database by calling Api.Open(...file paths) (yes, it's an fucking flat file type database)

Now the database is open, now you would open the orders table with method Api.Table(int tableId) and in return you would get an integer value, the pointer.

Now for the actual order. first you need to search for it by setting the search parameter to the column ID of the order number while checking all calls for some BS error code

Api.SetInt(int pointer, int column, int query Value)
Then call the find method.

Api.Find(int pointer)

Then to top this shitcake of an api of: if it doesn't find your shit it will use the "close enough" method of search.

And now to read a singe string 😑

First you will look in the outdated and incorrect documentation given to you from the devil himself and look for the column ID to find the length of the column.

Then you create a string variable with ALL FUCKING SPACES.

Now you call the Api.GetStr(int pointer, int column, ref string emptyString, int length)

Now you have passed your poor string to the api's demon orgy by reference.

Then some more BS error code checking.

Now you have read an string value 😀

Now keep in mind to repeat these steps for all 300+ columns in the order table.

News from the creators: SQL server? yes, sql is good so everything will be better?

Now imagine the poor developers that got tasked to convert this shitcake to use a MS SQL server, that they did.

Now I can honestly say that I found the best SQL server benchmark tool. This sucker creams out just above ~105K sql statements per second on peak and ~15K per second for 1.5 second to read an order. 1.5 second to read less than 4 fucking kilobytes!

Right at that moment I released that our software would grind to an fucking halt before even thinking about starting it. And that me & myself and I would be tasked to fix it.

4 months later and two weeks until functional beta, here I am. We created our own api with the SQL server 😀

And the outcome of all this...

Fixes bugs older than a year, Forces rewriting part of code base. Forces removal of dirty fixes. allows proper unit and integration testing and even database testing with snapshot feature.

The whole ERP system could be replaced with ~10 lines of code (provided same relational structure) on the application while adding it to our own API library.

Best part is probably the performance improvements 😀. Up to 4500 times faster and 60 times less memory usage also with only managed memory.

Win10: your password has expired.
Me: ok *click*
Win10: oh btw I forgot which account has its password expired, so you have to write the account name
Me: ... Okay
Me: *resets password, then clicks next*
Win10: let me empty that form and let you redo everything without me showing you an error
Me: ....... Okay
Me: *same info*
Win10: sorry, can't find user "username"

Me: Ok you know what fuck off I'm restarting you
Win10: but I... *ded*

...

Win10: Hello Phlisg, please log in normally as usual

Me: what the fuck

---
Disclaimer: I use Linux, osx and windows ;)

So, we (I'm the backend guy and work with a UI dev) are building this product portfolio management tool for our client and they have a set of 250 users. The team has two point of contacts for the 250 users who maintain the master data, help users with data quality, tool guidance, reporting and other stuff. So one day one of these two support users come to me and say : Hey I'm not able to add new transactions coz a customer is missing.

We have the provision to create / maintain customers.

I check the production DB, application code, try creating the customer and then the transaction, everything works perfectly fine.

I ask the user for a screen sharing session, the user starts reproducing the error like this :

We have a 3 system landscape - Dev / Test and Prod

U : Logs into the test system url, creates the customer.

U : Points out the toast saying customer creation is successful.

U : opens a new tab, opens the production system, tries creating the transaction, searches for the customer and says " see !! cant find the customer here ! the master data management apps never work !! "

FML?.

Stackoverflow #1
Me posting question about how to prevent error.
User1: You answered your question. Its because of the error.
Me: I know. And want it gone.
User1: Proposes working yet somehow horrible workaround.
Me: Yes, that works, already did that. But i want to know why it happens.
User: Your question says you want a solution and it is one.
Me: One that doesn't solve the problem.
User2: Just give up. Don't try to find a better one.

Stackoverflow 2:
UserQ: Question how to...?
Me: Use this and that.
UserR: That is not an answer, so i downvoted and requested review.

I don't know a second community that is anti-encouraging like SO.

I HATE SPRING JPA HIBERNATE AND EVERYTHING RELATED TO FUCKING JAVA.

Everything behaves like it was created with a human as an afterthought, so it torments people and target audience are masochists. This whole ecosystem is an abomination of the software world.

Every fucking error has a thousand possible solutions for every single person AND NOT A SINGLE ONE WORKS!!!

The stupid thing will just keep throwing its internal problems in a stack DUMP DIARRHEA that you have to sort through to find anything remotely useful! I DON’T give a fuck about your stupid internal implementation, just tell me what the fuck you want!

And you have to play the guess game and find the right combination of their stupid little configurations to make it barely work. I couldn’t believe reading stackoverflow, people are just poking at it hoping it will work. And I’m literally stuck and can’t fix the damn thing no mater what I do, and I’m abandoning it.

I won’t touch this pice of shit with a twenty meter pole ever again! Last time I was this frustrated was the stupid java ee. Nothing in the software world has frustrated me this much. How does one even come up with this…
I’m done… I’m just done…

Actually, it happened just before my current holidays.
I had prepared a whole system to feed and use a machine learning model. My colleague and some others had been working on a great thing, all encapsulated, all abstracted for my system.
My last day at the office, they had it ready.
I install their thing, load one model and launch one dummy prediction: error. I try with other input data: error
I try debugging a bit more, errors all the way. Knowing them, I asked if they wrote some unit tests.
"Sure we did"
I find the tests, yes there are some. And I notice:
"Hey, I see that in all your tests, you're making more than one prediction at a time (=aka using a matrix with more than one row)
- yeah, and it work fine
- in the project, we're doing one prediction at a time, did you try it with one prediction?"
He tries: error, that was totally what I said.
I started ranting on loosing the scope of the project, why we do tests in the first place.
Then, I grabbed my coat, said "see you in one week" and let them rework their code.
I was so angry at them, it seemed so basic to just check that 👹

Ran into a problem, that I recalled also having a few years ago. Couldn't recall how I fixed it, but remembered that I struggled finding a solution back then. Got a good forumhit on Google straight away this time, exact same problem. It had one reply, by the initial poster a few days later, saying he found the solution and posting how he fixed it. Great! Love that some people actually post the solution when they find it themselves! Tried registering to post a big "thank you!", but got an "email already registered"-error. Hmm... Were able to login, then realized that the poster was...me, 3 years ago! So I guess "thank me!", then...?

TL;DR:
I almost thanked myself on a 3 year old forum post I didn't realize I had posted myself...

Trying to make an Intellij plugin and coming across and error I don't understand. I google the error(s), find ONE result in English that describes EXACTLY what my issue is, and the answer on StackOverflow just directs me to the documentation with a brief explanation copied directly from someplace, WHICH I WAS USING AND AM STILL HAVING THE ERROR! And it's accepted, too!

When you spend hours trying to find a bug and when you finally do it's like the smallest error possible 😕😟😢😭

Me using numpy.polyfit() to fit a function to some data. Blame polyfit for not being accurate, search the web to find any related problems, as the polynom doesn't fit at all. Polynom is of 2nd degree, polyfit becomes unstable at about degree 20?? Try Polynomial.fit() ... same results. How can they all be wrong???See a little typo in my code, calculating the polynom points. Fix it, everything works.... wasted 2 and a half weeks because of this error.🤦🤦

Debugging ♡

Taking first steps in Express.js. It's in general the first web framework i've learned so the struggle was greater.

While I was creating a web app, i've noticed that suddenly all of the routes were redirecting to the 404 error page. I was looking for the cause of this issue for an hour just to find this:

route.get ('/ ', ...);

So it seems that just one space sign wasted 1 hour of my day.

Btw, it's my first rant there so 👋 to everyone :)

Context: New to typescript. Writing a thing, doing it for work, good opportunity to stretch my dev legs. Using a propriety lib, alternatives not an option.

Rant begin:
SOOOO, who the fuck thought THIS was a good idea:
1. Lib has minified react in dev (because closed source) meaning no downstream errors AND the entire premise of the lib is that a widget is a react component, so I'm writing typescript react the entire time without downstream errors
2. SHIT docs. By that, I mean there's an API reference page that's so sparse there's literally a set of CRUCIAL interfaces that only say the word 'Interface' on them. That's it. that's what i get. It's an interface. NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK, what the fuck is it though? What's its purpose? Is it an interface for a dog? A dog that has a 'shit' property? or a cat? or a cat eating dog shit? Nobody fucking knows - the docs sure as fuck don't care.
3. No syntax highlighting - editors, IDEs (i've tried a few) can't even find the lib inside this environment, so Code and everything else thinks I'm importing shit that doesn't even exist - so no error prediction, code completion based on syntax of the library, none of that.
4. There are some EXTREMELY basic samples - these samples exclusively use React classes - no function components, no hooks, nada - just classes and even perfect replicas of the sample code display erratic behavior like errors about missing props, so that's mostly FUCKING USELESS
5. And this... this is where the straw breaks the fucking camel's back... there's no... there's no hot reloading... Do you know what that (in conjunction with the previous 4 fuckups) means?

When I write anything or I fuck up (which of course I'm doing every time I write half a line because how the fuck?) I have to restart the client and server EVERY FUCKING TIME and manually test to see if the error (THAT ONLY GETS REPORTED IN THE LOCAL UI) is gone or different.
Then, once I see the error, it isn't an error: it's the minified React error-decoder link and guess what? It isn't really clickable a link OR copyable, meaning that every FUCKING time I get a new error, I have to MANUALLY TYPE A FUCKING 50 CHAR URL TO FIND OUT A GENERIC REACT ERROR MESSAGE WITHOUT A LINE NUMBER OR ANY FUCKING CONTEXT. I HAVE TO DO THIS CONSTANTLY TO SEE IF ANYTHING I'M DOING EVEN WORKS.

6. There's no github to complain to the maintainers or search for issues because it's NOT FUCKING OPEN SOURCE so there is literally nothing to be fucking done about it.

This is due in a week and a half, found out about it last Friday. How's your day going?

PS: good to be back after a long respite from dev ranting.

i always assume that my code is right so when the compiler gives an error, its hard for me to find out why it gives an error and why it doesnt work. my mind is too convinced that it is correct.

i guess i have to sleep it off 😴 maybe tomorrow it will be easier to fix

When you wonder why it doesn’t work put print statements all over the code, because you want to find the error, but no print Statement works even if it just should print test...

Fml

Long time no see devRant. This rant is dedicated to an MQTT implementation we use. Mosquitto, mqtt.js - FUCK YOU.

I spent the last fucking 30+ hours trying to find why the bloody fuck the stupid server / client won't connect to the shitty mqtt broker. From changing all possible config, enabling & disabling specific code nothing abso-fucking-lutely works.

But then it will randomly decide to connect to the fucking broker, not causing any issues at all. And each fucking day when I wake up again and think to myself: oh today I can actually leave when it is still somewhat bright outside - NOPE. Because guess what? The fucking shitty abomination doesn't work anymore.

I just love these types of problems that are almost impossible to debug because the only logs you get is: "SERVER disconnected". It's impossible to get a proper reason out of this shit show, it's just turned into randomly guessing what the error could be (and especially where it could be).

And each time I got it to work, tested it and let the testing team know that they can start testing it will just stab me in the back and be like "fuck you, I'm not working any more". Luckily it's not like the deadline is next week... otherwise work is great, trust me.

I don't know why I'm doing this but when I go to websites that aren't mine and found that there's a bug in their site or system, I kinda happily report these bugs and issues to their email with screenshots, findings and steps to reproduce the bug.

Just recently, I just went to a site and found a peculiar timeout error, eventhough it was less than a second to respond back. Only to find that there was an undefined JavaScript variable in their code.

Is there a bug bounty for fixing code?

My favorite thing is searching a problem on Stack Overflow, and the only example you find was solved by fixing a simple syntax error.

😒

1) Search for "what is *language-I'm-interested-in* useful for?" on ddg;
2) Google the same thing 'cause you never know;
3) If it looks cool/useful and adds something to the tech I already know, I find a tutorial and follow it.
4) Trial and error on a new project that I will end up doing in another language because by that time I will find the new project so cool that I have to finish it in a language I use proficiently.

Every damn time.

Ex-colleague asked for help in regards to an old project we were working at my old job

Him:"We're experiencing an internal server error. What do we do?"
Me:"Restart tomcat, dude"
Him:"How?"

Then I explained how by finding tomcat in ps -ef in a Redhat server, because he's a Linux noob and needed a lesson in how services works. Proceeded to explain how to restart tomcat with an online guide available.

Him:"Couldn't find tomcat in any of the servers"
Me:"Are you sure? Send me screenshots"
Him: sent screenshots
Me:"it's there. Look carefully."
Him: finds it and proceeded to restart tomcat.
Him: "Can't restart. Some catalina.sh is stopping it."
Me:"Figure it out. You can do it".

Half a day passed...

Him:"I give up. If I restart the server, will tomcat also restart?"
Me:"Up to you man. It will work but it's bad practice."

He restarted the server vand now everything is honky dory. I feel sorry for him though.

I need some time off. Just had this convo with a dev-manager about an 'issue' with our system change mgmt calendar (Blazor) app.

K: "In the system drop-down, it's not filtering when I type."
Me: "Let me check <I attempt to reproduce>, yep, not working. Do you get the same error? Looks like duplicate data from the database is causing a problem."
<this is over MS Teams, about 5 minutes go by with no response, then>
K: "No error, its not working."
<I find the bad data, delete it, TADA, the filtering is working again>
Me: "The filtering is working again, at least for me. You sure you didn't see an error?"
<wait 5 minutes again>
K: "No, no error."
Me: "You didn't see a little red banner at the bottom and in all caps..ERROR"
<send him a screen-shot of the error I still had in another tab>
K: "Yes, I saw that one, but no other errors. Filtering is working again. Thanks"

Trying to use a coworker's new API endpoint and I keep getting an "OAuth2 Bearer Token missing" error, despite triple-checking that I set the Authorization header correctly... finally dig into the source code and I find out that all their endpoints require that the bearer token be put into the request body. The fuck?

Fucking Visual Studio is such a piece of shit. 2 years ago we created a solution for our 7 webclients with 30 projects (clients, common stuff, tests, ...).
Things were ok, we could change something, save the file and everything was built and we just had to reload the client. Only F12 between the projects does not work.

But now the studio doesnt get shit done. Opening the clients solution after a clean checkout takes 5 minutes, saving doesnt build anymore, building breaks the project because it cant find references, rebuilding works but takes 3 minutes. When you have a syntactic error in a file the fucking thing almost crashes and becomes unresponse for a few seconds. It randomly shows errors in some files that disappear once you rebuilt it, sometimes it builds but still shows an error in that file.

But at least we will soon rewrite the clients in angular5 and dont need this piece of crap software anymore for the front end.

If I only could get my team to use another technology for the server so that I dont have to see this big pile of shit anymore. Fuck Visual Studio.

Round off error happen in the app. Find a piece of code .
$rootScope.isRoundoffEnabled?2:2

Heck yeah,
So an old Ionic 3 project wont work on the newest CLI.
I check around for the error, update some dependencies, sure enough it starts working again, all is great or so I thought.

Later something weird starts happening, upon pushing a new view on the navCtrl, the navParams are null on the next view.
I later find out that navCtrl is becoming navParams just on the first bit of the view loading, so I do a dirty fix just to keep working on the functionality from my browser, I know very well this will cause problems later on, this is just so I can keep working on functionality.

I finish all of the functionality and I'm ready to compile for android, I run my script, the dirty fix comes to bite my butt now.
I remove the dirty fix hoping for it to work just well on the apk.
Now gradle doesn't find ddmlib.jar, some 15 minutes of troubleshooting do nothing.

Fuck it, I'll just create a new project from the CLI and drag all the code there so that navParams work as expected.

Sorry Ionic, but the world is not our oyster when subtle changes in dependencies produce such unexpected behaviour, with some fucking view parameters!.

I'm looking forward to get done with all the current projects to jump back to native.

The more I surrond stuff in try{...} statements, and handle with geeky error messages that should actually never happen (e.g. "TransactionId 73545 not find for UserId 10. Look for Interaction 212345 at the logs."), the more I think our Customer Support area will someday need a Customer Support Support area.

That moment where you see code of someone who riddles their code with nested if-else and if-elseif statements.

I don't remember writing an else statement for years. It almost always can be avoided (and the rare cases where it makes sense I prefer the switch statement).

Yet I never grasp why people do:

```
if(someCondition) {
// huge nested code block
} else {
throw new Error();
}
```

Instead of

```
if (!someCondition) {
throw new Error();
}
// continue in the normal scope
```

And then we have experts that like doing:

```
if(someCondition) {
if (bar) {
$foo = 'narf';
} else {
$foo = 'poit';
}

// huge code block
if($foo == 'narf') {
if(yetAntherCondition) {
// huge code block
} else {
throw new Error();
}
// huge code block
} else {
throw new Error();
}
} else {
throw new Error();
}
```

Help!

If ever was to design a programming language, I'd forbid the `else` and `elseif` keywords. I have yet to find an instance where I could not replace some `else` by either a guard or an early return or introducing some polymorphism.

Recipe for reverse engineering data structures / binary formats:

1℅ understanding the theory.
1℅ expections about what you will find.
3% luck.
45% trial and error.
50℅ persistence.

in my previous company , we used to create 4 custom ui states for just 1 screen in android app, and we would have task to create 3-4 new feature screens in 1 sprint (of 14 days) the states would be :

empty state : a state where data is not available. usually consisted of message, a graphic and some action button

data state : the usual state where data is filled on various elements

loading : a shimmer ui showing loading. it was supposed to be pixel perfect to that of the data state. it was basically a different xml, but with grey colored views instead of colorful. the tricky part would usually he to create the dynamic views

error/no connection state : as most of the screens couldbget api error or no internet error, this would be the screen for asking user to retry connection

all of these screens combined with their ui in xmls + kotlin code with barely any stuff being reusable , made the life incredibly difficult. however a lot of our customers would appreciate the interactivity of our app

doing these stuff again nd again , i had become trained to do all those 3-4 (x4) screens and the whole ui stuff in first 4 days of the sprint. but now i am in a company where i am getting passed on to managers after managers and getting tasks to change documentation in 1 week, i find those coding stuff incredibly tough.

gotta get back to shape

Wtf?
Find the error

Under pressure for a big feature that had to be merged into develop like one month ago. But I couldn't because of issues I discover every single fucking day.

Today's issue is that a Cucumber test fails. I try reproducing it on my machine, it fails with a different error. Apparently I need to download some 10GB database file from some company server.

Alright, let's download it. But it's damn too slow. Well, let's have lunch in the meantime.

I come back, the download timed out at basically the same point I left it at.

I don't wanna try again. Not without trying to improve things. Download speed is ridiculous. Switching from Wi-Fi to Ethernet definitely helps, I thought.

The cable doesn't work. The port LEDs are both off. Is that cable even connected to something? So I follow that damn cable throughout my colleagues' desks. I'm now doing things without even remembering why.

I finally find the other end. It is plugged to the wall. I try another plug, but that fucking LED is still off. A colleague tells me: not all the sockets are actually connected to the switch, you have to call IT to have yours patched. Stay calm, stay caaaaalm...

A small lamp turns on in my head. Maybe something in my laptop is broken. So I try with a colleague's ethernet. That fucking LED is still off. A-ha.

Turns out, the shitty macbook adapter has this Ethernet port that DOESN'T work out of the box. It needs a driver to even realize there's a port. I look for it, I find it. I finally have wired connection. It's like having drinking water again.

I turn off WiFi, I re-try downloading that fucking database.

Nope, it's still stupidly slow. The bottleneck was in the dumbfuck internal server.

FUCK.

At least I have Ethernet now.

Not being allowed to post comments on this page for seemingly no reason is the equivalent of invisible walls in video games. I didn't even receive a fucking error message, I had to go to devtools, only to find "You can't post a link in your comments yet.". What do you mean, my comments? I wanted to suggest DaisyUI to some bloke but I guess, I will just try to find the exit for this level then before I can get to the one 2cm behind this wall, in plain sight and no reason not to give me access to it now and no explanation anywhere (cannot wait to get RTFM comments with a link to some about page).

Greetings, I guess, I was only here to lurk and comment but the page won't let me.

I think UPS' Api documentation and service must be the worst documented and build API I have ever seen from a corporate.

1. The developer website is a mess. A total mess. You can barely find the API type you are looking for.

2. When you get the API and download the documentation, the files, .pdf etc is still a mess. Pages long that most are craps.

3. Each request returns Status Code 200. Even if it is an error. This blew my mind.

4. Each request, based on error type or based on tracking activity returns different JSON schema.

For example, the JSON Schema for a shipment in transit is different from JSON schema for a shipment that has been delivered. A shipment that has been returned, a shipment that required signature etc. They are different from each other.

5. And the worst. They do not provide with test tracking codes. I have found some on internet, but they do not work in development and production environment.