Phone conversation between me and a client:

CLIENT: "I see it weird..."
ME: "Which browser are you using?"
CLIENT: "The one you tech guys don't like"
ME: "Internet Explorer, isn't it?"
CLIENT: "Yeah, I'll switch to Firefox then."

*computer fell, broken in pieces*

Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?

Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,

Me: no, no I just-

Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?

Me: umm… no, look I'm just -

Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir

Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-

Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?

Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -

Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8

Me: no just check my-

Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-

Yup.

R: Random ass recruiter on LinkedIn
Me: me

R: Hey I was searching for X skill and your name popped up first. Would you like to work for our company? It's an urgent position with good pay and awesome latest tech

Me: I quit that very company 5 months ago, because the pay was low and the tech was from the 1990's.

R: :/

Me: :|

PS: I'm not 100% sure of this, but based off the tech stack, I'm pretty sure it was for the same fucking position I quit from.

The news:
"Oh no, big tech companies are taking advantage of our information and tracking everything we do. We're too dependent! "

Us:
"Wow this sounds important. *Googles it *"

"Everyone needs to know, *shares on Facebook*"

Wait.....

Me: "My PC is sad what should i do? "
Tech-Support: "what do you mean your PC is sad"

i wonder whose(developer) idea was it to put just smiley instead of meaningfull error...

Storytime!

This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.

Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.

Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--

Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.

Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.

Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!

Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*

Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?

Customer: Yes, it has.

Me: On how many computers?

Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.

Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?

Customer: Yes.

Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*

Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?

Me: *gives price*

Customer: And do you have any?

Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*

Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.

Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?

Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*

Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!

Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.

Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?

Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.

Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.

Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3

Customer: ...Okay, fine

Me: *updates the ticket*

When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."

If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.

If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?

If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.

If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.

If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.

IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.

Pressing Ctrl + S only once to save your code in the editor is the tech equivalent of locking the door to your mansion and not pulling the knob to check if it has indeed been locked.

I’m the tech support of my family and I’m proud! 😎

I only hate it if other people treat me like their personal tech support

A seasoned colleague just wrote this and I think it was very valuable:

On tech debt:

So the big challenge with technical debt is making non-technical management (CEO, COO, CFO, directors) understand what it means, and just how it operates. Sometimes it actually makes good sense to incur technical debt to get to market sooner, just as it sometimes makes sense to borrow money to get cash now and repay that loan later with (hopefully) resulting greater revenues from that investment. But just like a loan, tech debt always has to be paid some day. The longer the tech debt goes, the more expensive it gets. And also like a loan, the cost compounds, like compound interest on a loan. Tech debt should always be chosen with a clear plan to pay it off at some point in the not too distant future. The longer one waits to pay it, the more expensive it gets.

Me: *updating Ubuntu using terminal*

Non-tech friend:
*looks at my terminal*
WOW! You must me real good at hacking and stuff!

Me: Of course i am, but keep it a secret though.

!rant
Deployed my first website to production yesterday and the world isn't burning, the error logs have been empty and my (non-tech) colleagues think it is amazing.
I'm somewhat proud of myself.

For some reason my tech enthusiast mind gets really enthusiastic about the fact the Google calendar icon is now based on what date it actually is.

I know pretty much everyone here understands the importance of net neutrality, but here’s a nice chart you can share with all your non tech friends explaining the importance of it in terms they understand

It’s official. I’m dating a girl.

She’s damn smart, tasteful, hot and really into tech.

Honest, talkative, a real keeper.

Studying IT-Security. Fuckkk I’m dropping spit out my mouth. ALL. DAY.

Just learnt Node JS a week back for a personal project. Started working on it and had to get hospitalized for Dengue. Feeling like a helpless non tech guy without my laptop 😓

Family reunion weekend. I'm just wondering for how long this will stay a 'family reunion weekend' before it turns into a 'first person tech support weekend'

Launching my own tech company, and bringing google down to it's knees with it 🤘

Abstract CPU cooler art. Found this in my school tech room. No idea how it happened

It time, when the old fat HiPPO in the tech team guns for Flash against HTML5 😕

// family tech support

Dad: *Opens Microsoft Word*
Dad: *Writes stuff*
Dad: *Saves the file as "Doc1.docx" (every time)*
Dad: Son, where did I save my file? I can't find it.

Overheard this today.

Client: I've tried running it but the batch file isn't working.

Tech: You're a batch file.

Sometimes I feel I'm the live version of stack overflow for my family and friends...
Mom: The printer is acting up, how do I fix it?
Brother: I can't login to Netflix, help!
Grandparents: could you fix the radio/TV?
Gf: Apple can't validate my .uk mail

All to which I replied with the answer to life, the universe and everything...

FUCKING GOOGLE IT! Have you googled it?!

And the inevitable reply: no.

The only ones who get a free pass are my grandparents they were born in the 40's and think YouTube works on voodoo.

customer: make it black
me: if i make it black, text will be unreadable, also it doesnt fit with theme
customer: i dont care make it back
me: -makes it-
customer: it didnt fit with theme, revert it back

p2p working with people outside tech industry

Tech Support Cheat Sheet

Keep it going in the comments (obviously tech related lol)

I downloaded this expecting it to be just guys arguing over stupid shit like iOS Vs Android, but I've been pleasantly surprised, everyone seems a lot nicer than the comments sections on tech websites

This is what I've been saying all my life but tech recruiters just don't get it....

Is it only me who wants to know the tech stack of Devrant! 😃

Oh the internet is a wonderful place

I wonder, do you also sometimes take a tech book and read it like a novel?

Maybe I'm strange. It's just thrilling to read about a new problem and wonder 'oh my God, how will they solve it' - can't wait to read on 😅

The link between one of the server units and our router has been disconnected and the sales dept. has gone completely offline,

Just because of this piece of crap:

That moment when I realise why the CD of Ultimate Boot CD I have asked the tech team to burn for me does not boot... Because it *contains* the ISO file...

If you could get rid of one tech company who would it be..

Mine would be apple - fuck apple

When you make a tech-ish joke and you have to explain it because your coworkers aren't that tech-ish.

Isn't it fantastic that someone right now, maybe, is building the next big thing in tech? Or that someone is building another JavaScript library to be released in the next 30 minutes?

“There’s too many Firefox quantum rants...”

Lemme let you in on a little secret:
It’s nothing new, get over it.

Apple released a new phone.
Windows updated.
Samsung or Google releases a phone.
Exam time.

Do any of you see a common theme? It’s the same people posting three metric fuck tons of posts about recent news. Wow, a tech person sharing tech news, imagine that. It’s just a phase, we all notice it. It’ll go away. Thanks. Have a nice day.

There should be a bossrant.com where bosses can rant about tech and devs. It would be hilarious.

Well everybody knows it

Company that has tech != Tech company.

The amount of "Hey fellow programmers" I get from marketers of all people is cringeworthy. No amount of blockchain in your sentences will magically convince me you know anything about it.

Whenever I'm trying new tech at work I don't keep interrupting people ta help me with error messages because ITS A FUCKING NEW TECH AND NO ONE WORKS WITH THAT SHIT!

WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP ASKING ME FOR HELP WITH YOUR FUCKED UP NODE SHIT AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE IT? STOP IT!

"Eww that is not Dev-related!"
Shut the fuck up. For me, devRant is a social media for developers and not a social media about only dev-related shit.

"devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer!"
You see?
"for developers"
"about code, tech and *life*"

For fucks sake... Stop crying around and just dislike it if you don't want it.

My favorite one was always from our tech lead when I was a junior,

"Huh, didn't know we could do that. Very cool."

It was real ego boost and something that really stayed with me.

When non-IT guys try to speak tech. For clients. Hilarity ensues :/

What support means to us!

I hate it when you try to be friends with a "Tech savvy" person and they don't know shit.

Everytime a non tech friend start a conversation like "hello my lovely companian, I think I forgot my Instagram password.."

Always ends up with "..so can you hack it for me"
-_-

Guys! @dfox is doing an interview at my local tech radio show! Check it out on tunein WLJS . I can't wait to hear his inspiration for devRant.

I'm soon graduating from a tech/IT school which recently specialized in cybersecurity.
Today when I changed my password on their website, it displayed the old one in clear text.
God damn it people, THIS is the reason why our school's reputation has been slowly but steadily going down.

That moment when you say you work as developer and someone respond : "Great, can you have a look at my microwaves?"

Controversial tech rant begins here:

You know, I'm sure a lot of you guys know that it is pretty uncommon to encounter a woman who is who is into tech (and ranting about said tech). This has always made people question why. I personally feel like that is the case because those that do like tech, and those that don't just find a different interest. I thought that would suffice, but now Google and Microsoft are advertising their diversity programs. I was fine with all that until I was personally affected by it. I intended to apply for scholarships from Microsoft. They turned me away because according to them, they began giving them only to people who were "marginalized". That and their commercials trying to pressure young girls to join the STEM field. Again nothing wrong with women in the tech field, but now that this is turning into favoritism I have to fight harder battles to compete in the tech industry. Not only that, but now I read a study about their employment. Despite the number of people they turned away and the money they spent on these programs, thr companies STILL haven't become any more diverse, and from what it seems, their reaction lately has been to double-down and try harder. I just want an open, honest, and fair tech community. Has anyone else felt the affects of this situation?

Theory: zoomers are actually just boomers who come generationally full circle

Source: I work with clowns in their early 20s and the fact that they are young and were essentially born into tech and had it their whole lives literally has not contributed anything towards their understanding of basic tech concepts - if anything, it has made them more clueless.

The good news: now I know whatever is invented in the future, whatever tech comes to be, the next generation of clowns will always have many jobs to offer me.

Tech/IT worker compass

New rule: if you come to me for tech help and didn't try turning it off and on, don't even bother.

My boss keeps trying new tech with important new projects instead of trying the fucking new things with anything other than important shit.

I support this let's try better options approach but cmon, be rational about it.

Let’s make an app like LinkedIn except for tech nerds who wanna date. We shall call it KinkedIn - Dating for Nerds!

How. The. Fuck...do these people has a job:
Me: How much to repair my Nexus 6 screen? It's not full smashed.
Tech guy: We'll need to see the phone
Me: Why? I need the screen replaced
Tech guy: Ok...send us a screen shot. it could be a cheap fix

Fucking me side ways! Really?

When your parents expect you to be tech support and then fucking can't fix it, they get all like "You suck at programming". What does that have to do with fucking anything?!?!?!

!rant but emotional

Work is significantly less terrible than it could be because I have the best teammates and i can come rant here and be understood. My non tech friends just ask why I don't quit if I "complain" so much. My dev and tech friends are all together at another company and have releases every week they're working on. I appreciate you all and am happy I found this community. 💚

I'm going to be all tech-snobby and share one of my favourite tweets.

I hate it when I see people doing this!!

Indian tech companies can put in weird skill requirements at times. See point 2, for fuck's sake is this real?! And it obviously contradicts point with point 5 right?

This will definitely trigger some people.

New smartphone releases aren't 'tech news'.
An implementation of a technology ripped off from other devices (GPS, VR etc..) isn't 'tech news', it's just implementation of an existing technology.

So please, everyone who reads the self-called 'tech news' to look for a new phone release to waste money on - stop calling yourself a 'tech geek' - "Oh my god, I'm such a tech geek, it's embarrassing - this new iPhone was released and I just couldn't wait to get spend my money on it".

Just shut the fuck up - you are willingly dragging a tracking device everywhere you go and you are PAYING for it to look cool and be full of features you won't even fucking use.

Me on a tech part of a job interview: "We shouldn't do it this way because it violates separation of concerns!"
Interviewer: *clearly impressed*

Me 2 weeks later: *does exactly what I said that shouldn't be done because I can't be arsed to do it the right way*

Most of us might've seen our users doing it. Specifically, this happens if your are working on desktop product and users aren't much tech inclined.

I fucking hate non-technical founders looking down on the tech team as if it we're dispensable, and as a result, undervalue us in terms of money and equity.

Bethesda is full of shit. Starfield somehow needs a super new PC because it alledgedly uses modern SW tech.

Strange point: while a high-end PC with 7800X3D and 4090 makes the performance bearable (though not great), the graphics don't look spectacular. In fact, they look outdated.

No Bethesda, you don't use modern tech. You require modern HW tech to make up somewhat for your shitty engine and incompetent devs.

Non tech coworkers before COVID-19: you don't need home office, it's only a way to avoid job responsibilities

Non tech coworkers today: yeah home office is a great idea, why we didn't think about it before

I've already read two stories of software engineers working on the field to end up becoming farmers years later. Almost as if there's a connection of disconnecting from the tech world after getting close to it.

How often do women bring up their own gender in tech interviews? I've never done it, and I've never interviewed anyone, but I'm curious about whether it's ever explicitly mentioned (beyond a, "I'm in a women in tech group" or "I mentor young girls in my free time").

I don't want to start any debates. Just curious about what people on the Other Side of the Table see.

Hey DevRanters,

You are tasked with living without tech in any shape or form (Lets say, for 2 weeks).

How you approaching it?

I'm of Indian descent and I just stepped into a meeting where some American project managers couldn't understand tech support 's accent. it wasn't them though, because I couldn't understand the guy's thick Indian accent either.

When a tech loses his way into the development dungeon:
"PROGRAMMING MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!"

Any one else’s kinda enjoy the process of removing tech debt? always thought it felt good to rip out old shit to put in shiny new shit

Terrible Dutch (!dev) tech pun I just came up with: (posted it earlier under the rant section but removed it due to that)

Wat moet een AMD CPU doen als'ie op vakantie gaat?

Ryzen.

I finally got a job at a tech company (although it's not a tech job) with a very good work/life balance.

Therefore, I plan on getting more serious about properly learning how to program in my spare time, also because, being a tech company, programmers are all over the place and are generally willing to talk about code.

I must say that while job hunting, devRant has been very useful to me since it allowed me to understand what kind of environment I'd like to work in. So far, the first few weeks of work have been great.

Ah, and the view from the office is unbeatable.

Working in a tech company as a project manager, the CEO asked me: a client requested to code the frontend with something call active java, are you familiar with it?
Me: well, it must be a new tech.."searched online..", no results found.
After calling the client, he was asking about React native.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

As someone into the cutting edge research in tech, it is my pleasure to inform you that I finally bought a pair of Bluetooth headphones. 😁

Yeah, nah, the irony ain't lost on me.

I decided to fix my car after car mechanic gave up... The backlight was blinking even the car was locked and turned off in the parking. Took me 4 days to figure it out. What I realised is that we are pushing tech to places where tech and electronics shouldn't be... My next car will be 1972 ford c, it doesn't have any of these modern problems.

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keeps quiet for the moment)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

Tech support: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech support: (hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE <nosmoke> at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech: (hush hush)

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of the power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

A guy came to me with a laptop that wouldn't boot. After some poking around, I opened the machine just to find everything submerged in coffee. No sh*t your computer doesn't work..

This just needs to be here...

Isn't it obvious?

He ran the most well known tech company at the time; who I wanted to become when I was a kid when I first started programming.

Made a full restaurant web-booking system for a customer...
Customer is so low-tech and don't use it at all....just print all mails received without notifying anyone else :(

Tech Lead: We need to exclude logged in user from our all users API as we don't want to show user's self card on the frontend with other users.

Me (Backend dev): This should be handled by the frontend and they should exclude it by a condition in their loop:

If (user.id != loggedUser.id)
{
// Add card
}

We also need self user at several other places.

Tech Lead: Create a query param filter for that.

Me: We should keep our APIs as generic as possible.

(Real thing starts)

Tech Lead: Which has more processing power frontend or backend?

Me (confused): Backend

Tech Lead: This will add a break to our loop and Do you know how much processing power it will take because of this condition?

Me (dead): WHAAAA....?

As the founder (both biz and tech) of a startup, here is my timer list everyday. It reminds how much time I left before the day ends and how much tasks waiting for me to finish.

Google IO 2023: WE'LL SHOVE AI DOWN YOUR THROATS AND YOU'LL LOVE IT.

Fuckers even have live chat and comments disabled -.-

Never thought tech-events would get this boring, 5y ago it used to pump me up like nothing else could.

"Come on, please try a bit harder. Why don't the IT students make an app to sell local goods online or something? Even I, without knowing anything about tech, consider this to be easy".

Wise words from a non tech substitute teacher I once had the honor of studying under. When he checked everyone's 1 month project proposals, he expressed his disappointment.

I wonder if he works in management now.

Levels of tech awareness:

0: Doesnt use tech at all
1: Uses tech only for work
2: Uses it for films/gaming
3: Has alexa/google home
4: Uses smart home system
5: Has a loaded shotgun under the pillow, which is used to shoot the only piece of tech in the house (a printer from 2004) when it makes an unexpected noise!

Worst dev tech I have used must be Visual Studio in a virtual Windows machine.

I can't think of anything slower.
And also, I'm a Linux user so I just hate it.

Account Manager Brief Template

"We haven't confirmed any of the desired functionality, but we (the AM and the Client) have decided that it must be built in [INSERT CMS/FRAMEWORK/TECH OF THE WEEK HERE]."

Found this in "Origin" book by Dan Brown. I love it when tech jokes surface in novels.

Switch your tech stack or programming language or development framework to something that you enjoy more.
If it requires to switch the company, do it!
If it requires to learn something new and you think that you don‘t want to, then it‘s probably the wrong goal.

Friend who also works in tech industry, forwards me a video which explains how Google tracks is users via smartphones. Further calls me and explains it passionately. I'm like ..... wtf. Living under a rock or what🙄

Is it just me or are tech recruiters like used car salesman?

If you woke up tomorrow and it was the year 2000, but you only remembered tech stuff from the future. What would you do?

Started a new job and our tech lead doesn't know how to use GIT in a team environment, has only ever used it while working by himself on one person projects. Kinda worried...

I always hear "its impossible to talk to tech people, its like they're from another planet". Well get used to it, cuz the nerds shall inherit the earth!!

Whenever tech support answers "yes, i can help you with that sir",

what they really mean is "no, but i will google it for you"

Qt vs HTML5 everywhere, but not a single line of code in these blog posts about it.

Good job pseudo-tech-bloggers.🙄

And that comparsion. Qt vs Angular. What the fuck. Nobody uses fucken Angular.

Got convinced to work with a boss who seem to know it all in tech.

I honestly thought he knew tech, to code at least.

And then one day he referred to Java as the same as JavaSrcipt.

Oh no.

Honestly, this is me anytime I have to give legitimate tech support that is more than the wifi being down.

It sucks but I'm learning and Google,/DDG helps the process hahaha

Sigh, I'm the "tech" side of the startup. When I explain things to my co-founder on what is/isn't possible, it's frustrating to have to explain how it wouldn't be possible without effecting something else.

I wish I had been an “ex-Google tech lead” for a week - so that could tell everyone I was “ex Google” as if it were like being a Dr. or something.

(not)

When your on the toilet and come across a tech video you want to watch but can't because of the audio. It would be weird... need to start taking headphones to the john.

Lately it's been DevRant. Honestly. I sometimes lose the drive to learn. Then see newer tech people are using on here and it reinvigorates me. So DevRant.

Me and tech coworker opens office front door. Another coworker starts ranting how he accidentally hit som key combo and started some speech synthesis feature in Windows. Me and tech coworker both declared we had never heard of that feature before.
Ten minutes goes by, then muggle coworker comes by asking for help to turn it off. Tech coworker Googles solution in literally 6 seconds on the phone without even stopping the conversation we had going on when muggle interrupted.

How is it that muggles haven't found out that the Internet contains stuff?! And that it's searchable!!

Gaaaahhh

PM: We have 2 issues on server side and 2 on backend.

Tech lead: It's the same

PM: Is it? How?

Picture a small product team, the dev side of it has 1 tech lead, 1 recently promoted senior dev, 1 junior dev.

1 - Offer your tech lead a severance package
2 - Hire a mid-level and a junior dev
3 - Give the product lead role to someone in their mid-20s that has no tech or project management background
4 - ???

The next 6 months are going to be interesting ones...

Got back to programming. After a failed period as tech lead at another company. It feels good to be a dev again.

🪙 The golden age of tech is coming to an end. We currently live in a world of tech built by engineers and great minds; both Windows and Linux are great in their own ways. PCs are the peak of engineering, both desktops and laptops because of how versatile, powerful and universal they are. They serve engineers, designers and end users. You can do anything you can imagine; because the great people who built it, did it in such way that they themselves could use and enjoy it.

📱 The tech of the future will become ever more limited. The next generation of humans will use Chrome OS gladly and not even feel limited because they never experienced the freedom provided by a true personal computer device. Android OS is already getting ever closer to restricting 3rd party APK installers. Big tech will do everything they can to limit freedoms and make everyone use cloud, where they can charge $ for every damn click.

☎️The consumer-facing tech will become increasingly dumbed-down over time. The programmers and engineers will be still able to use "true" tech, but only for work. In everyday life, they will have to be content with the dumb limited tech.

And there is nothing we can do to stop it.

When a Field Tech emails you about a problem and the screenshot is embedded in a Word Document. WTF, why can't they send it as a f'ing jpeg, gif, or IDK a png?

BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Bitcoin is a toy which got attention like Fidget spinner.. but Blockchain is an Art it is future..
Anybody wants to invest $$$$ in other Blockchain tech .

So I got sick of this "nodejs" bullshit around here and proposed a competition to define our next backend tech.

The node defender is already finding excuses as to why they might write bad code because of lack of knowledge , my answer:
If you don't know the tech we ain't gonna use it.

Fun game: find a random tech meme/joke and search it in google with "site:devrant.com". If you find it - you drink

I finally came to that conclusion:

Customers doesn’t really know what they are buying.
IT company doesn’t really know what they are selling.

Blizzard clowns have done it again… they changed male/female to body type selection. Voices are still male/female, characters are still referred as he/she. Fuck these pandering piece of shits.

I hate non-tech people hijacking tech field inch by inch.

I have lost every it job i have ever had. From programming to tech support. Am i the only one?

The CEO of Harley Davidson once said his was the only company logo that people tattoo on their body.

Anyone sad enough to have a tech tattoo...and brave enough to admit it?

!dev but tech related...

Got a device configured in a location that is fairly far away from me. It operates only through a cloud service specifically for these devices, with one of the most unreliable web interfaces and smartphone apps I have ever used.

I email my issues to the tech support who don't seem to understand the problems and can't fathom the difference between "reset settings" and "restart device".

Eventually they need to log in to my account to find out whats wrong. I explicitly state that under no circumstances should any settings be changed.

Today I find that the device has been removed from the cloud account. I physically must be near it to register it on the account again. Tech support don't seem to know what happened and the best explanation is that it is "a glitch". They have no way to add it back themselves. I have to travel to the device.

Funny how this happened after I let them access the account...

Google Tag Manager is a complete abomination of UX. The whole concept is just ridiculous, it lacks at least 3 levels of automation. Non-tech people won't be able to use it and for tech people it's laughably inadequate while still being conceptually difficult. A perfect combination of a tool that does too much and too little at the same time.

WTF do y’all mean when you say it just works “out-of-the-box”.

What’s one Tech buzzword or phrase that in your opinion, shouldn’t exist?

Father's friend ask if I'm gonna open printing and scanning press when I'm done with IT degree.
I said yes to avoid been his tech support

When I see bullshit mostly about tech-related stuff, I usually imagine myself doing this. It makes me happy and in some situations almost tolerant to idiotism.

As I sit and stare at code, and then stare at the Bills I need to pay as the month starts. I began to think, what if I too was part something new in Tech. Everytime, I see people creating new Tech, getting noticed, I wish I was there on forefront.

Then it gradually dawns on me, "you are just here to make ends meet, survive in the corporate world. Why care about the world. Let it go as it is."

"A shitty life".

Just reminiscing about the time I needed to recover my ldap password and the procedure consisted of an asthmatic tech support dude showing it to me in a giant spreadsheet.

Who the fuck accepted this garbage copy pasted code all over the place?! Ah, it was our "tech lead", cool.

Ah the managers have come up with a new term we need to implement: "SEO Doubleposting"

I must bow down to their technical genius and prowess, I've never heard it before, it must be high tech term beyond my 10+ years of being a developer.

I did it y'all, I just put in two weeks. Goodbye tech debt, goodbye anti-patterns, goodbye constant firefighting.

Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.

Did well at a tech screen today. it feels good to NOT feel like an idiot after an interview.

We had only one product UX designer in our team.

She quit and I habe accelerated my job hunt.

And when I quit too, the tech team will collapse with both of us gone.

Because then there will be no product manager and no designer, only tech who is arrogant and cocky to even built a simple button to refresh the fucking page.

God bless with this fucking tech team. The Tech Senior leadership is shit. They deserve it, but for now, it's us who are facing challanges.

Not my week for tech.

5 year old 21" desktop monitor burns out. 2nd monitor, so at least not completely down.

Then my toddler reached for my root beer and spills it on my 1 month old laptop. I quickly pull the plug and turn upside down, get it wiped off and pray. Next day, arrow and enter keys a little sticky and battery is blown. The 2 exact fucking reasons I bought the new laptop. (keyboard issues and battery)

Keep em coming tech gods.

Have parents? Save yourself time with this general-purpose email signature.

Probably taking our tech directors mobile phone and putting in the ceiling. Kept ringing him from our desks and he couldn't work out where it had gone, but could hear the theme from Rocky, so knew it was close!

Everyday tech support struggles:

- "I can't find my document."

- "Ok where did you save it?"

- "In Word."

- "I understand you saved it in Word but where did you save the file to?"

- "I'm not sure, Word did the rest"

When learning new tech, it takes me forever to get the environment/dependencies setup because of the million different errors I get.

Am I just too dumb to follow installation instructions?

The company I work for now has so much tech debt. When I find an issue, I can’t necessarily fix it right away because I have other priorities. If something isn’t a site-breaking issue, then I only fix it when a user or staff member reports it.

The website is a mess because it was built and maintained by an outside dev agency. It was so expensive to outsource that my employer decided to bring development in-house.

That’s where I came in. I found so many issues. Tech debt. UX weirdness. Newish features that no one seemed to use. It goes on.

So I’m balancing new feature development, fixing bugs, and trying to lessen our tech debt. I’m a team of one.

Why would companies ever hire a manager from a non-tech background, at least for managing engineers? After reading @IAmNotARobot's latest rant I just have to ask because it makes absolutely no sense to me. Surely non-tech people should be reserved for managing non-tech roles like sales, HR, and maaaaybe team leads, right? How can you manage someone if you don't understand anything of what they do?

New years resolution: no more tech support period. No one appreciates it and if anything breaks in the future youre expected to fix it. Lol, no thanks

"Java and C++ Spring Boot and Angular Ansible Jenkins Azure Hosting"

nice, a stack for boomers lost in the 2000s

stop it. just stop it.

"Some other tech buzzwords we use"... yeah, "typescript" and "big query" are not "tech buzzwords" they're literally the names of languages and/or tools

tell me you're an HR rube without telling me you're an HR rube

😩😩😩 <- love this one, literally called "weary face"

A music community! A Real world one with tech to organize it.

Actually working on it with finite time and money

I have been interning at a tech company as a software developer. And it is a paid internship program where I haven't got any stipend for the past months. I have to pay rents, bills, even my transportation too. So o decided to startup a tech company along with my friends. Later this month we are launching our first product.

Once you offer tech support to one person, you become the IT department to all people.

Continuing my rant from Yesterday....
As I was strolling though Walmart yesterday...
Tech Support 1: $Customer is having issues with their tablet they bought from us.
Tech Support 2: tell them to shut it off and shut it back on
Me: ❓

One good thing about working at a shitty place is you end up knowing what not to do by just pure pain.

I once consulted for a company who had the latest tech - kubernetes, bit bucket, you name it. But it didn't matter. The code was shit. It's not about the tech, it's always about the people that use the tech.

Just use the variable on the line after the promise, it will be populated then…

From a “tech lead”

Eli5: senior dev here, 18 years experience in tech. I don’t get why spring boot/batch is so highly rated. I absolutely hate it. Please tell what I’m missing?

WTF IS THIS? Been popping up all day.... I tried googling but official support says to uninstall Office and Visual Studios....

WTF MSFT!!!! Quite frankly it feels even tech support at tech companies aren't very competent.... just staffed by a bunch of call center monkeys?

when a senior and tech lead write conflicting PR comments ~1 week apart

i dont give a fuck, ill do it either way you want but you 2 need to sort out how the fuck you want it

In Fireship's last video, the guy talks about how Amazon moved Prime video's architecture to old-fashioned monolith, from Serverless, and saved a bunch of money and improved performance doing so.

It makes me wonder, what old tech have we put behind us already that will later make a comeback as an 'improved' version of that tech? What do you think?

Wait for it to be “slightly old” tech , don’t chase shiny when it’s still brand new.

It amuse me when managers are trying to be smart, so they pretend to understand all tech stuff but they just fool themselves and no one threat them seriously XD

Nitrux OS
I feel that this piece of wonder isn't getting the recognition it deserves.
One of the most beautiful UIs out there, revolutionary tech like znx(booting from the main iso ALWAYS and keeping user data across reboots, in a nutshell) and it has weird ass virtualization stuff that allowed them to run windows with very little virtualization overhead(tech details yet to announce).

Imma stop here before getting labelled another fanboy, just check it out and see for yourself
Thanks for reading, i use arch btw

Just finished watching "Halt and Catch Fire" on Netflix. If you haven't checked it out, you definitely should. It's about 80s tech disruptions. Also, any other suggestions for tech related TV series / movies? Silicon Valley, Mr. Robot etc.?

Does anyone writes any kind of tech blogs in their free time? If Yes, can you share it.

In all the companies i worked at so far, never seen any employee (in any department) above age 50..maybe the ceo or some lawyer, but thats it.
Where do all the 50+ ppl go in tech?
I'm not sure the tech world will be what it is now even in 10 years.. but I'm just wondering do any of u guys think/worry about where we'll work when we stop being young and cool?
Looks like it's either u start your own business, which not everyone can, or..
what is option B exactly?!?

This morning I got a reply to my tech support email:

The problem was that the dynamic pages on my website are no longer being served as dynamic pages and so IIS is throwing errors on every page load. Seems to me like they've done something their end because I didn't touch it when it happened...

The tech support email essentially told me to rename all my files from .cshtml (ie. a dynamic page) to .html.

I'm not expert, but I doubt this is going to solve the problem...

I find it hard to pickup a new tech unless i need to build something with it. I guess i learn better by doing than just reading.

worst dev tech ever for me was intel x86 assembler. I developed on motorola 68k before and i loved it. x86 was horror.

Last Month I was working at a place as a intern and also working at another place as a Tech Consultant/Proj manager, managing interns at the same time.
What a emotional rollercoaster it was..............

How long did it take to receive an offer from a big tech company after your final interview? I’m just so antsy with waiting.. Any one have experiences past 2 weeks? Or even next day?

Google did it again. Damn.
Create a project in flutter -> Android code AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED is full of errors that i can't even fix.
One of the biggest tech companies, 2020.

when your IT policy means that you have to submit a tech request for each nuget package you know you're in for a long day

How the tech industry works:
> Find a task that makes you go outside to do that task
> make an app to do it from home

I once met a guy who said tech guys chose windows over Mac's because windows goes wrong often so it keeps the tech guys in work!

And Mac's hardly ever break so they didn't want their business to use them

He clearly hasn't met tech guys we don't want to be dealing with your fucking problems

It made me furious internally... I said nothing.

Seriously do you think all tech guys in the world joined a union and went 🤔 how can we make sure we have more work ... Fuck off you ponsy twat

Working in a shared office space, everytime I hear somebody brag about the "AI" they have on their stack, I ask "Really? Can you show me where it sits??" just to see how confused they get thinking it might be a new tech concept.

Halt and Catch Fire is having another great season. Lived those days and it is so true. CompuServe, Compaq, Commodore, 5 1/4", Tandy 1000, Byte Mag, Atari, The Well... The tech you see is really 1985ish. Attention to detail is appreciated by long time technologists.

H&CF is about building a tech business and much applies to today's startups. That two brilliant tech women are leading the charge adds to it. All the characters are great Cameron, Gordon, Donna, the devs at Mutiny and Joe channeling Jobs (in my opinion) is spot on.

Any H&CF fans have an opinion?

I actually learned alot about software development after getting a job and doing it for a year, but not in my 4 years of B. Tech Education.

- Frustrated Indian

I got ca. 200€ and want to spend them on smth. awesome.
I'm interested in coding, electronic and tech in general.
Do you have any cool ideas / things you have bought that were worth it?

I'd tech Computer Science. You would think that we wouldn't need that anymore, but we would need it more than ever. We would never be safe with a superior intelligence! That's why we voted trump after all. ;)

ignoring a broken unit test suite. although ive just convinced the tech lead to let is look into getting it working again.

"So, my company made a Mother's Day video, with photos from mothers around the company, with their children and stuff. A while ago they sent an email asking for replies with photos from those who wanted to participate, blah blah.

Then the video came out, and some people were missing. They complained.
HR then complained to IT Support that 'some emails didn't arrive'.
Support then replied to the ticket with screenshots of the person's own email inbox, with all the so-called missing emails.
HR then called back, apologizing for having screwed up with their own email inbox."

And this is another story of injustice with the poor IT department.
Or another story about people who can't properly manage their inboxes.
Or both. Your choice.

I just received it from a friend (I guess I should bring him into DevRant).

Setting up an FTP & Plex server for our house.

>> This was in my infancy of programming and tech, so it made me feel like a complete fucking BADASS.

Another day I had to remind myself that I don't need to learn everything about anything in 3 hours

Lol (new equipment in for tech team and within minutes I was looking it up online)

The other week a Comcast tech was out to install some new equipment. He was unsure whether an antenna could be placed outdoors, so he asked on a Comcast tech group chat. Within seconds he received a response from another tech: "Google it". It just amused me slightly that it's not just developers who get this response, and also made me a little bit mad because I know the frustration of being told to Google something even when I am asking in the right place.

The feeling when you've spent a good week working on making super new tech work with super old tech... and finally get it working.

On cloud nine ATM.

AI is tech industry's fidget spinner
Cant wait to see it go out of fashion.

All Tech meetings: I think over 50% of people open the video and keep it on mute, 45% use it as background noise while they code, and maybe 5% of people actually pay attention.

A lot of new tech is going to be sparked by this pandemic. A lot of it we aren't going to like.

I can write articles to tech sites. I used to be editor at one Windows news site and kinda liked it. Although, they've kicked me for being Windows Mobile sceptic 😐

Interviewer (project manager):
We are great company and we need high skill in lots of languages and technology like js, python, es6, docker, vagrant, linux and ..., we are always use new tech in fact we are on the edge of technology
Me: wow your company is the best

After hired:
Project manager:
Forget about new tech
Just make this project alive with wordpress and plugins,do it man just do it

Me: 😑😑😑😑😑

I tech write, I am also learning coding on the side. You guys have all the same complaints/issues I have at my day job already... tech writers just copy paste, it can be done in a week right, damnit...

>be me a tech nerd

>see sexy women

>try to engage in conversation but only make werid gurgling noises

>never live it down

any dev pioneering techs here watched "black mirror". if didnt do it, it just might change your life and views about tech.

!rant

A (non tech) friend just showed me tensorflow and I am pretty intrigued. Has anyone here ever tried it and what have you done with it?

I don't get it.
The job listing is for a developer. I applied as a developer.
Why do they ask me whether I'd be willing to do tech support? What's their motive?

Alright I have a question for android/ios app dev, as being a web dev I see one has to do so much for tech stack as there are tons of web languages. And to keep themselves upto date according to the latest tech stack they have to learn new every day.

What about app devs you don't have so many languages like web do so can I say a person spending more time in one lang can learn it way better than web devs who have to look for the latest tech stack and start from the scratch?

Depends...
My last/current retail job: was dating the managers daughter at the time
My last tech related job: my old high school decided to dangle another job opportunity in my face then quickly snatch it away

Tech lead: so for this sprint, please implement this HTML page in Angular

Me: do we know what kind of Angular table we are using yet?

Tech Lead: just use the Angular UI one

Me: do we know if that supports drag and drop and custom filters?

Tech Lead: that's not needed for this page

Me: yeah but like 5 other pages of this web app does

Tech Lead: so? We will find a different table then.

Me: but they will look and feel very different and it will be totally obvious that it's patchwork, and we will need to rewrite this page you want me to write now...

Tech Lead: so what if they look completely different. Stop thinking about future sprints. can you have it done next week?

Me: ummmm.....

... this is going to be a fun project. Oh, not to mention I'm only supposed to work on it for 20% of my time....

I am talking with the tech lead for a solution he is proposing for the project.

I already finished coding it yesterday because of our "just deliver" culture. Our tech lead is opposing this culture. The deadline established by the manager is basically tomorrow.

Is this right approch for a tech lead? To oppose the management established deadline?