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My girlfriend saw me coding in XCode.
GF: What are you doing?
Me: Ahmm. Coding.
GF: *saw the colors in every line of code
GF: That's easy. You just need to follow the color pattern. Green, Blue, Red and Yellow.
Me:
Macbook:
XCode:
Charger:
BTW. She's a Preschool Teacher. Hahahaha23 -
"hey there is this bug, could you fix it?"
me: sure whats the bug?
*explains the bug*
me:... thats.... thats your feature request from last week8 -
Knock.
Knock.
Knock knock.
Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.
Who's there?
Fibonacci.5 -
1 minute of Thread.sleep() for Tum, the best cat ever. Rest in peace, your memory will live on in my devrant avatar.
17 -
So im colorblind and i just recently found out that most IDEs use color syntax and it sounds like such a good idea.16
-
Was originally hired for 3 months.
Just finished the project 2 weeks ago, after 1.5 years.
I fucking hate data science now.8 -
Dear people of Subway, just because i am using cmd, it doesnt mean i am
"Hacking your wifi network" and asking me to stop is rather unneccessary25 -
My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"
Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"8 -
New avatar options! New bg colors (yellow and blue), new hair styles (short spikey, mohawk, dreads), new shirts, new stuff to put on your desk, and new glass desk
13 -
The truth is, I don't give two shits if you're a girl, woman, man, black, white, yellow striped with pink polkadots or a transgenderfluid 2headed Ogre kin married to a nuclear penguin from mars- the fact is, what I need you to be is professional. So shut your yapping about your personal shit and get to fecking work.32
-
User: *Clicks on staging environment*
Giant Warning Dialog: YOU ARE CURRENTLY ENTERING THE STAGING ENVIRONMENT
Users: Ok
App: *Completely different colour, I’m talking bright unsightly yellow*
User: Ok
Giant Yellow and Red Flashing Banner at the Top of the Screen: WARNING YOU ARE CURRENTLY USING STAGING, THIS AREA IS FOR TESTING ONLY
User: The production environment sure is acting strange today. It’s a weird colour and I don’t recognize any of the data, it’s all just dummy filler data. I better create a ticket for the dev team to check o—….. no wait I’ll send an email CC everyone including the CEO and sound the alarm production is currently down and filled with giant warning messages.
Manager: OH MY GOD PRODUCTION IS DOWN DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS??? WHAT THE FUCK COULD THESE WARNING MESSAGES BE THAT’S ONLY SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ON STAGING! THE CEO IS BREATHING DOWN MY NECK YOU NEED TO GET THIS FIXED IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!
Dev: …13 -
ahaha. The white Slack emoji skintone is frowned upon at $work, and we're encouraged to use the yellow one instead to be "inclusive" -- but fear not, the brown ones are totally fine.
Gotta love woke companies.20 -
Just got an email that i dodnt get a job.
But guys... Your 'selection process' took a month. A literal month. I already got an other job 2 weeks ago.4 -
Oh no microsoft is gonna buy github!
Just like they bought xamarin and turned it from a buggy piece of shit into something borderline useful?
Just like they funded canonical so ubuntu could become a distro what any person can use as easily as windows because they had money to actually hire people?
Just like they bought mojang and invested billions in an education platform?
Oh boy whatever will we do...15 -
me, sitting @ college, soldering together a charging cable
someone: oh wow you can do this stuff? i thought you were a computer scientist, not an engineer
me:...
me: yeah i need an engineering degree to wrap duct tape around cables7 -
Fucking printers are made by satan himself.
My printer apparently needs cyan, yellow and magenta for printing grayscale.
So suddenly my colours are empty
Bullshit but whatever, I used ducktape to tape of the little glas place where it checks inkt levels.
My printer thinks they are full and prints again. Booyah.
About 200 pages further it says they are empty again.
BULL FUCKING SHIT
The satan spawn that made my printer must have made the cartridges with a chip that has a maximum of pages. So even if the cartridge is FULL, the chip says its empty and so the printer thinks that as well
If i find the demon spawn that programmed the printers, I will make you program in brainfuck or whitespace for the rest of your life!!!!!!9 -
>me on stackoverflow
>a nice question
>i provide a 3 line code with explanation
>comment: 'doesnt work, throws exception'
>i run the code and provide a screenshot that it works
>'doesnt work for me'
>19 line code gets accepted
10/10, would answer again5 -
In a nutshell, i severely underestimated myself, applied to a bunch of places and now they all want to hire me. Oh well.11
-
"Java is slow"
If that is the only reason you can come up with when i ask you why dou you think java is bad, im going to assume youre either a fucking shit programmer or live in the 90s.46 -
I really love my job these cold, rainy autumn days with yellow trees, where I can work from home having a nice fire going in the fireplace and the dog sleeping on my feet :-)
9 -
Me: cool, i organized all my exams to be the most effective, if i study now, i can relax for a few weeks before i have to move.
Interesting side project: hi3 -
We currently have multiple exercises for a lecture and they decided to use python this year instead of Matlab, but the codestyle is all over the place. Everything is yellow in my IDE and warnings everywhere.
Arghhh 😭
10 -
New years eve plans:
Partying with friends ✖
Getting wasted ✖
Shooting fireworks ✖
Reading godot documentation ✔7 -
open telegram
'hey guys i have a cool idea for a project'
"yeah thats a neat idea lets do it"
we get drunk on the first meeting and completely forget about the project5 -
The office asked us to wear RED OR GREEN coloured clothes today for Christmas, so I'm gonna wear yellow.14
-
Please learn the fucking difference between a text editor and an IDE. I dont give a shit aboyt your super duper complex vim package manager supreme deluxe edition ITS STILL A DAMN TEXT EDITOR YOU FUCK.15
-
Other students:
#define redLed 2
#define yellowLed 3
#define greenLed 4
void setup ()
{
pinMode(redLed, OUTPUT);
pinMode(yellowLed, OUTPUT) ;
pinMode(greenLed, OUTPUT) ;
}
Me:
void setup ()
{
for (int i=2;i<5;i++)
pinMode (i, OUTPUT);
}
Proff - This code is wrong it won't work. Where have you specified red led, green led, yellow led?
Me - wtf! Code doesn't know which led is used in what pin it's just pin numbers!
Gave me less marks 😑
P. S. I wrote comments in my code specifying which pin will have what led connected 😑14 -
So there is this thing @ the office that everyone has to bake 50 pancakes once.
Its 2 am, i just got done, i cant cook to save my life.
Guess what.
Its 49.8 -
That moment when you are vehemently explainig your code to a yellow rubber duck, and your girlfriend comes into the room...
aaaaand you have no more girlfriend.12 -
Oh hey i should go to sleep early and work out in the morning.
Or i could implement those new features for my library ive been thinking about.
Or i could polish up some of my older sites.
....or i could stay up till 3am, reading subtly gay korean comics.4 -
can you put this on the right side when someone scrolls?
*sends a gif of a caterpillar running at 3 fps with sparkles everywhere*5 -
I will disregard the fact that our target platform is windows, so sure, newly hired intern, go ahead and use linux if you want, it doesnt really matter.
After that he accomplished 1 day's work in a week because he was googling how to set up linux environments
CHOOSE THE TOOL FOR THE FUCKING JOB YOU DIMWIT9 -
me: yo, im kinda low on cash right now, i should save some money and not do any iot projects this month
also me: yo, look at those nfc chips, i got an idea1 -
When you are working on a feature and someone else is working on the same thing and you commit at the same time and now you have to resolve conflicts but both versions work
2 -
Ooh this is good.
At my first job, i was hired as a c++ developer. The task seemed easy enough, it was a research and the previous developer died, leaving behind a lot of documentation and some legacy fortran code. Now you might not know, but fortran can be really easily converted to c, and then refactored to c++.
Fine, time to read the docs. The research was on pollen levels, cant really tell more. Mostly advanced maths. I dug through 500+ pages of algebra just to realize, theres no way this would ever work. Okay dont panic, im a data analyst, i can handle this.
Lets take a look at the fortran code, maybe that makes more sense. Turns out it had nothing to do with the task. It looped through some external data i couldnt find anywhere and thats it. Yay.
So i exported everything we had to a csv file, wrote a java program to apply linefit with linear regression and filter out the bad records. After that i spent 2 days in a hot server room, hoping that the old intel xeon wouldnt break down from sending java outputs directly to haskell, but it held on its own.1 -
Sitting in a germans-only company on a germans-only talk, listening to german presenters trying to speak english.
"...And sis is a Integräitontest, witsch is verry important [...] sis here is my sird maven plugin..." schnitzel.
Why for god sake do you funky hip devs mean you have to speak english to me?! Especially if you are simply not able to?
Some of my favorites:
My english is not se yellow from se egg but I hope you understand me.
Sänk ju for trävveling wis deutsche bahn.
Someone has similiar sentences?22 -
if you ever feel bad or useless about your ability as a programmer, just remember that this is the kinda code i write when im tired
13 -
Me, going on a vacation
"Fuck yeah, finally a break, beach, grill, nice. Im not bringing my laptop, theres no way im touching any code."
Me, 10 minutes after i got on the bus
"Oh, i figured out whys that one thing not working, let me just get my lapt...shit"6 -
you might think that windows updates are painful but this piece of shit has been like this for an hour JUST LET ME FUCKING DEPLOY
12 -
Rant 2/n; 😎 = me, 💩 = client
The (brief but comprehensive) docs I sent my client contained the following line: "Any text that has not been translated will be highlighted yellow for the admins".
A day later:
💩: "Hey, I like the new design, but why are the titles yellow?"
😎: "They aren't actually yellow. You just see that because you're logged in and they aren't translated"
💩: "But the yellow doesn't look good with the design. Visitors will think it looks unprofessional. Make them not yellow!"
😎: "They won't see the yellow! Only you can see it so you don't miss any translations"
💩: "Hi, I just noticed some of the titles aren't in English. How do I translate them? And they're still yellow."
😐🙁😠😡🤬💥6 -
Lets assume my name is Levi Secondname (half of it is correct)
at my last workplace there was a guy with the same name, in the same office, except he was an ios dev, so when i ordered food i always put 'Android Levi' as the name, otherwise it would get mixed up3 -
I know a lot of you already know/do this, but to those of you who don't - I know it has saved me more than once:
If you use SSMS (SQL Server Management Studio) - when connecting to a server, before you hit the "connect" button, under options, choose a color to represent which server you are connecting to. I personally use stoplight colors: red = prod, yellow = QA, green = dev....this way, it helps you realize what server you are connected to, minimizing our dreaded "oh shit" moments....lol
Hopefully this helps someone ☺6 -
The color sucks on my laptop. It's simply not accurate at all.
Pink looks like purple, yellow looks like orange, the colors are dimmer than what they really are, and etc.
No wonder my group thinks I'm color blind. D:8 -
Client: I need a Website, You have "complete freedom" to choose an apt design, it should be professional and creative.
Designer: Ok.
~ Makes a top-notch Demo inspired from Apple Website ~
Client: It is not professional at all, you should use yellow color for header background. Matching the yellow in the logo, text should be in red. Use blue borders. "Make it more professional!"
Designer: Ok.
~ Client is King. Does exactly as client said ~
Client: Change the font of the website, use something like this (shows Monotype Corsiva). Reduce the image sizes to stamp size. Give a zoom effect to the headings. Increase the text font size to 16px.
Designer: Ok.
~ Client is King. Does exactly as client said ~
Client: Now it looks more professional!! You should hire me to your design department! And now, as I did the major design part you are only eligible for half the payment......
Designer: <<< what will you say? comment it below.. >>>10 -
full stack web development in 2017: mvvm model, api for backend, parsing on frontend
me: <?php echo "<div>hello".$name."</div>" ?>9 -
Dude from old job who treated me like shit messaged me to implement 2 new features. I quit like half a year ago now. Ok i guess.6
-
Insomnia: yeah, nice cors header
Postman: neat cors header mate
Fetch in browser: where the FUCK is the cors header you retard6 -
People complaining about Microsoft pushing MS-Edge are clearly not using the YouTube mobile app, this shit pushes their premium shit and YouTube music every fucking day. MS you get ONE pop up when you change default browser and they are done! Also Google products one concurrent browsers ? You get that nice yellow message telling you you're not using chrome but people just like to tell shit about MS like it's the national sport or something well fuck you and fuck Google5
-
I had a 15 minute meeting, organised by the MD, with the CTO and a principal engineer, to discuss what shade of yellow a button should be. Massive waste of time.19
-
Okay so
Client asks for a bunch of data what can be easily calculated with excel. I think to myself, yeah, ill not fuck around adding numbers 1by1, ill just use excel.
Client wants a program, says he likes having a program do stuff. Mind you, this isnt an universal program at all, it just has to work for this specific input file.
Me: packages the original excel file into a jar and makes it unpackage when run.
Client: is happy
Me: ??? -
"Server deployment is automated from git, so dont merge things into the master branch without permission"
Oh ok
>i create new branch
>push unfinished code because i gotta hurry
>server breaks
Well golly gee seems like you did a shit job at automating7 -
Me, whenever i work with something other than java: "Wow, this could be done so much easier with java"17
-
Worst part of being a developer: when you suggest a subtle amber shade but your client insists on bright yellow.
3 -
Wk29:
A 15 minute meeting to discuss what shade of yellow our product should use for warning. I had to attend because I was writing the product.
This was one of about 5 separate discussions on the colour, a few of which involved me showing them a colour wheel and telling them to pick.
I'm a back end developer, the colour is just 3 rgb floats to me, I don't goddam care!2 -
Customer: '... But we really like our boxed layout with the yellow background color!'
Me: 'I think we should start seeing other people...'3 -
Finally, the jeezless present is done.. fuck this shit, where's my booze and my bed?! 😒
Anyway, it's essentially a power bank with LED's attached to it. The LED matrix is at the back side and looks reasonably decent (but I don't wanna disclose the age it's displaying). It's powered through a 47ohm resistor and is directly attached to the 5V lines. Yellow LED's with 2V voltage drop that have each number completely parallelized, and then those numbers are put in series to increase the combined forward voltage of the LED's to 4V. That way the circuit is around 80% efficient (resistor drops 1V, LED's drop the remaining 4V). Other than that, nothing too special. It did take 2 nights to build though.. way too much for a mere formality 😑
13 -
Hey, i took a look at your code and heres how you could improve your performance!
"No thanks lol it works this way too"
Okay you fucking idiot, thats not how you do normal distribution
"Why are you so mean"1 -
I (and many devs might too) need some advice.
Well, I'm happy and sad at the same time :) :(
I'm so happy because finally I can put a floor pet on my avatar. I put my yellow favorite cat (its name is "Güero/Blondie"). On the other hand, I'm so sad because last week, my stupid and drug addict neighbor poisoned my cat :'( (not the yellow one, it was a gray cat. I'm 90% sure that he did it, he tried to do it last year). I know that it was only a cat, but I felt terribly all the past week, I couldn't even think or code. Fortunately it was the ending of the sprint and my code was successfully tested, so I didn't have to code, only trying not to cry at the office.
What would you do in this situation? I mean, those days when you feel like sh*t but you need to go to work and finish the code.
24 -
We were having a conversation with a bunch of friends and somehow i came up with this
Ps, the data is valid
12 -
Its been a few hours, and i was busy with meetings but
THANK Y'ALL FOR 10K ++
I remember wk20something, when i joined devrant. I was just starting a job as a data analyst, and the wk at that time spoke to me on a personal level, so i wrote a quick rant and didnt give it much thought. The next day i opened devrant and had like 100++s and a bunch of comments. Since then ive met a lot of awesome people here and im happy i clicked the install button back then. Thanks cfox and brogus for the opportunity, love ya.
Already got a longboard as a 10k-day gift :^)2 -
Why developers like yellow ducks only, what's wrong with white duck?
Is that what they call racism??
8 -
I was talking with a guy who is making an android app for his thesis but hes "shitdamn awful in java". I offered to help because im so fucking nice.
"oh but i dont have facebook, is it a problem?"
Nah sure i dont use facebook anyways, got telegram?
"No"
Riot? Irc?
"Nope"
Then what do you use???
"Skype"
?!!?!??!??!!???!??!7 -
Well im slowly getting there, but i still dont understand why does my wife want me to make her cam...
8 -
Just received this today.. They couldn't fit it in the yellow envelope, SO THEY CUT IT UP!!!!!! What's wrong with people!!!!
6 -
Changed my profile color. On the new website... yellow as a background is a bit too much like a light-themed IDE 😁
7 -
Hey im a fullstack DEVELOPER, not a fullstack DESIGNER, so dont fucking ask a colorblind person to 'just throw a simple design together, it shouldnt take more than 10 minutes'3
-
To all "StackOverflow is BAD" ranters - give link or don't post. And even before, please read
http://rtfm.cz/smart-questions.html...
Facebook/Instagram era taught people that it's easier to just ask question gazzylion of times before doing research / using search (even "site:stackoverflow.com" search)
I do rarely post on SO just because in 99% of cases I find solution when preparing my question during research or due to yellow duck effect.
When I got qualified to do reviews on questions I started to see how often they are so abroad or so primitive than 10min of duckduckgoing would solve it. But no, it's easier to use other people for you.5 -
So there is this programming competition i regularly enter. I dont give a shit about the competition part, its just fun to make something in a limited time. This year, i was kinda hyped that i threw together a modern stack, with Java Spark and VueJS, that would be really cool to use.
Today we got the requirements.
Php and jquery.
Well fuck me for living in 2017 apparently.1 -
I was once requested to update a website and the requirements were that it "must be flash based...and use our company's color scheme."
I saw the current site and critiqued the color before knowing that the color was the company's signature and had to be there. The colors were a pukish yellow like someone pissed all over the site and that color was everywhere. I said that site looked like something from 1998 and flash was not the way to go.
They wouldn't hear any of that. No need to mention I didn't take that job. -
I really wish i was a good designer. Id love to put together attractive frontends with cool and unique ideas.
I also wish i wasnt colorblind.3 -
hey buddy mate pal friend bro nacho
IF YOU FINISH A TASK NOT ASSIGNED TO YOU THEN FUCKING ASSIGN IT TO YOURSELF SO WE DONT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO DO WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DONE6 -
Friend: 'im really anxious, i need a job this summer and i dont know if i can find one with my stack'
Me:'why, whats your stack?'
Friend:'php, mysql, javascript'
Me:'...DUDE'6 -
Dear DevRant,
The yellow background looks great on our avatar, but could you please not use it as background for a rant? You're burning the eyes out of my skull.
17 -
Xamarin.forms. True multiplatform* by Microsoft.
*you just have to make sure not to use any of the platform specific features, or write 3 completely different codes10 -
Does anybody know why java is brown in GitHub, html is red, objective-c is blue, and swift is yellow?
21 -
OK I've just got an idea that I think would be quite neat:
How about a virtual rubber duck that sits in the corner of your editor? Just like the gem in old Word, if you remember. It's yellow and quacks sometimes, and nods understandingly when you talk to it (mic monitoring).
And it also monitors your typing and says (popup text bubble) things like:
"those parentheses doesn't look balanced to me"
"did you really initialize that variable?"
"you wrote JASON again"
"you forgot the ;"
You get the point.
I don't have time to implement, feel free to steal my idea and become a millionaire.5 -
Downside of being a developer without design skills & creativity.
--
Yesterday, i created a simple food ordering app for our office. I shared it to my dev colleagues and got a decent feedback (except for the new hire). But when shared it to people like writers and graphic designers. I feel a bit off.
Graphic D: "The app should not use a blue color scheme. because blue is an UNAPPETIZING COLOR", "The yellow color is too vibrant"
Writers: They are blabbing about the grammar and spellings :(
New Hired Dev: Can you share me the codes?
** I always trying to learn how to do webdesign but i think its not really for me :(8 -
So...the windows console is getting emoji support. I can't convey how happy it makes me that this is what they've been working on. Very happy. Because of little smiling pictures of yellow people in a command line.4
-
"best [distro/ide/laptop/buttplug] for web development?"
So you are.... You are basically asking whats the best for editing text files?10 -
I don't know if anyone else here uses kik but there's something that's been bugging me for a while
Occasionally (frequently) bots start a conversation with you (the typical "come visit my porn website etc etc), right? Now, this has happened to me at least 20 times now, and EVERY single time, the bot's profile picture has loads of translucent yellow stars edited in, and I have no idea why
I can't think of a possible explanation for this, and I've put a lot of thought into it
Attached is a cropped version of what I mean
19 -
Me, 2 months ago: "This stack is such an overhead and unneccesarily complicated. The app could be made in like a week with jsp and jquery."
Other guy, 2 months ago: "No, we use Spring and angular2, and these 7 test/automation tools"
Other guy now: "We are nowhere, we havent even completed sprint1"
Me:
3 -
Everytime i see someone listing a shitload of languages, i safely assume that they speak around 2-3 of them fluently. I did some c++ and can write a site in php but they are nowhere near my java knowledge, so i only list them as something i played around with. There is just no way you are fluent in c++, java and javascript because they take half a lifetime to master individually7
-
I just got a bugreport for an ages old release of a software which was assumed finished. Problem is, i couldnt find the source anywhere.
"hey, could you send me the file so i can check the bug?"
*sends jar file*
"yay im saved"
thanks java, for being easily disassembled 👌😍1 -
Bind learning c++ chapter 3
Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.9 -
*reverts a layout file to the one in git*
*gradle fails, no components found, electricity goes off, office catches fire, the world ends*4 -
Small feature request, but I think it would be cool if you guys could add some devducks with colored capes as well as keep the classic yellow duck as an option inside Desk Items (L).
I know its impractical to add text for obvious readability issues, but I think the base color of the actual capes would be cool, you know to match your current devduck irl :) Maybe keep the classic duck at +100 and have a higher ++ for the devducks with capes? Anyways, I'll just leave this here...
@dfox @trogus
DevDuck Cape Colors:
#222242 // Purple
#b22028 // Red
#f4f6f9 // White
#f4753e // Orange
#171615 // Black
#3a6894 // Blue
3 -
Wanted to do a 1 hour coding challenge. Thought "hey why not use js this time". 3 hours later, my blood pressure is skyrocketing and i am really bothered by js threading.2
-
"Black supremacy is as dangerous as white supremacy, and God is not interested merely in the freedom of black men and brown men and yellow men, God is interested in the freedom of the whole human race and the creation of a society where all men will live together as brothers, and all men will respect the dignity and the worth of all human personality."
- MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.36 -
I was tricky this time and sent a separate email for the client and my boss about the new release.
Client response: "Its very good, runs flawlessly, could you check x if you have the time? It gives errors simetimes"
Boss response: "[...] urgent fix get working on it right now [...]"
Seems like my boss has been the fucking piece of shit all this time :)1 -
My setup: AMD Phenom-2 1100T with fat cooler for silent PC, 16 GB ECC RAM, AMD Radeon HD-6850 passively cooled, WD Blue 1 TB HDD. One 22 inch monitor with 1650 x 1050.
The mouse is a bit broken because the click switch under the mouse wheel doesn't work anymore. The empty bottle in front of the PC is necessary for lying on the room light switch, or else it won't work. And the black/yellow tape is a fix for the worn out seat cover.
But the best, under the monitor, is the little green troll that serves as rubber duck.
-
Sent a cv to a company because facebook threw their ad at my face and i said why not. They emailed me that they would call me today. I dont have a phone. Its not fucking 2007. Call me on matrix or telegram or even skype ffs.19
-
[wk200]
Ordered a set of copic markers, they should be here tomorrow. At least this quarantine crap gives me time to draw again after 5 years.4 -
Just realized, that after a few months of running my crypto trading algo, i have around 0.1 bitcoin. Started by mining monero in like february, and just traded back and forth afterwards.6
-
There was a yellow exclamation mark over Windows Defender icon on system try, I'm very obsessed due to this reason I opened Windows Defender to check the fuck is going on. Just to get rid of it I had to create an outlook.com account and link it with Windows Defender.
What the fuck is Microsoft up to now.3 -
I got an interview on monday but i completely forgot i even applied. They said its java AND c#, so i can guarantee a 50% score i guess.
Can someone explain what the fuck is a namespace while we r at it?5 -
[corona wk]
Not at all, but i bought an electric scooter so i dont have to take public transport.
Also instead of "bless you" we now say "corona".1 -
Can anyone tell me why is it good to use some crap language that transpiles to javascript? Yes i hate js too but 90% of my time using reason/ts/elm is just
>ddg how to do x in y
>no answer
>Js.unsafe.eval "js code"
Like???? None of them is a 100% complete wrapper???6 -
Imma be real with youse, i havent been posting shit cause i have a great job with great teammates and great management. Like it a rant that i cant rant but thats a good thig i guess. But ion wanna see devrant community goin down the gutter cause old members r leavin so imma stick around and post stupid shit in the comments as usual. So youse can stop bothering me bout bein inactive hmmm3
-
Aint a rant, but pulsar player has the best fucking implementation of the material design ive ever seen, everything is perfectly flat and still alive aaah
4 -
thanks wine, now my text can be teal blue, pea green or piss yellow instead of shades of gray like it's supposed to be
22 -
[worst hypothetical dev job]
You know how theres a dedicated person in porn whos job is blowing the actors so they are hard? That, but with writing all the boilerplate code and nothing else.1 -
It doesnt matter that i turned auto-update off, if devrant gets a new version i WILL hear about it. We all will hear about it.
-
All my respect goes to sysadmins, ive been trying to hack together a cronjob for tha past 2 hours and its still not working.4
-
just got a linkedin msg
"Hello, im from a headhunter company, looking for..."
THEY ARENT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE2 -
Moving to a new office this week. The only chinese restaurant nearby is one of those where you get 5 times the amount of rice compared to the meat. Fuck.5
-
const abc: string = 'Hi';
Can we take a moment to appreciate how retarded it is that TSlint throws a warning here that the string type is inferred and unnecessary.
I want to put the type there because it looks more readable. Code looks better if every variable has a type, irrespective of whether it's a constant. I know the fucking type is inferred you braggart linter bitch. What the fuck does it expect? A fucking award because it inferred that a string constant is of the fucking type string? How the ever loving fuck does that warrant a squiggly ass yellow warning line, reminiscent of that smartass 10 year old in class who has to yell out every answer when the teacher never asked a question.5 -
Jmonkey 3 is so damn fast wow, why dont they use this wonder instead of unity?
*angry js fanboys in the distance*
Oh yeah thats why1 -
me: fuck yeah i love java
java: JFormattedTextField tf = ((JSpinner.DefaultEditor) columns.getEditor).getTextField();
me: ...
me: punish me more mommy3 -
Just wrote an angry email about the unrealistic demands towards my team. Got a call an hour later from [product owner] where he had the most worried voice i ever heard because we are the only data scientists in the research. I expected an email reply in 2 weeks, seems like we are somewhat important here.2
-
After catching up on the mcu movies, i finna watch infinity war, but honestly, am i the only one who thinks they need to start working on other things than the origin story of every damn being in the unuverse?5
-
For some reason my wife was watching me reading away at devrant and then says:
Wife: You are missing your protection!
Me: ehh what ....
Wife: Let me fix that.
Then she comes back with a ... wait for it ... green yellow striped glitter apple sticker for my webcam.
I don't know if I should be proud of my wife or ashamed of myself for not a replacement yet.9 -
Hey buddy pal mate, yeah, i get it, you a good frontend dude but if your page lags on my phone, im gonna just close it and never open it again, so dont you fucking use every possible overhead framework known to man.
-
I dont really have a story here, i just want to thank every college teacher/assistant teacher who has real world experience and decides to pass it on to students instead of picking from the billions of job offerings.3
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Hey, fellow devranters, there is a major update to the devBanner project, but before releasing it, we (or I) would like to ask you, fellow devranters, a question, or a simple poll.
Do you think white font is better in yellow bg? Or should we change to black font?
Leave your opinion !!!!
To see the sample pic, see the section below.
Thanks!
24 -
Dear rust,
I swear im not going to modify that string, i fucking swear on my life pinky promise, just plEASE LET ME USE IT WITHOUT HAVING TO CLONE.
Sincerely, a functional programmer6 -
Fuck Google Chrome cache.
For almost an hour, sat and tried to make changes to a react UI but unfortunately nothing's changing. Started to worry and doubt myself.
Even thought of getting myself the yellow duck! But fuck no , little did I realise that Chrome "intelligently" fetched my page from cache even though I was using incognito! Had to re-open the browser to realise that.
How did I find out you ask? I thought why not fucking open the same page in Mozilla . Why? Because why not?! But I still can't believe that I wasted a whole fucking hour due to that piece of shit called cache!19 -
The feeling when your pc runs out of usb ports because of all the different android devices hooked up to it.1
-
So i left my job as an android dev earlier (nothing big, just didnt wanna juggle school and work) and as the year started i noticed that somehow i ended up working as an android dev again but this time in c#. There's no escape.9
-
Google wanted to be politically correct and gave faces different colors. But apparently using "black" or "asian" is a shame too so all of these emojies have same name.
This decision was very poor as it's hard to implement this duplicity in frontend so as always Devs choose easiest choice - just use the first one. And first one is always yellow...
Congrats on making whole lazy Dev world using your "correct" emojies enforcing only one face style.
3 -
I Fucking hate people!!!!!
Im not a nazi but i hate people.!
I hate every one! White， blqck， yellow， beige， purple and dont get me started on the orange ones!!!
I hate people woth physical disabilities， i hate people with mental disabilities， hell i hate people who hate disabilities.
I hate people.
I hate people who are isually good but only occasionnaly bad， i hate people who are bad， i also hate people who are nice bur dont know shit about coding.
I hate emos as well even if i sound like one.
I juse hate people and for that i hate myself....
Makes me want to listent to tayler swift no shit.16 -
Right now what i want to do is just quit everything, move somewhere else, get a job and never fucking look back. Im sick of all these projects college dumps on me, the idiots im surronded with, my job, people who think im interested in their fucking research. I just want a 8 to 5 job and after 5 im fucking done and nobody calls me about how long will the next release take for projects i dont give a shit about.
In other news i just started my thesis yay.1 -
A customer requested the graphic drafts for a website with a serious design. He left me the complete freedom. After six shot down including three drafts inspired to important designers and one inspired to material design, I decided to make something absurd asking the customer his favorite colors. I am ashamed to have created a design with shades of green, white, orange and yellow on a green background. He said it was fantastic.3
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Tldr: what are some tips you wish you got when you started programming?
Hey so. I got added to a facebook group with absolute beginners to programming. Been tryna answer their questions but its getting overwhelming and i thought id make a definitive guide to beginners or something like that. I have a buncha topics and tips but the more the better, so please if you got some advice you wish you got x years ago, post it down here.5 -
Can someone tell me what's with the yellow rubber ducks? What is the story behind it ( or its usage which , i guess, is related to debugging)?4
-
My rubber duck family! Ordered from China, so 5 cost almost no more than one... Especially love the odd one with a yellow beak!
1 -
New dev guy in office, Does zero research when stuck in somewhere while doing a task. Goes around asking the team if they had done that before. Talks on the phone for like 10-15 mins with god knows who when he has a technical problem.
Doesn't even bother to do a simple debug before complaining about an exception in a service to the dev who wrote it (if he knows the dev who wrote it)
Interestingly, he marks the tasks he does in a google sheet in red, yellow and green rows that's shared with our tech lead.
Not that he bugs me or anything, but just thought i should share this here.6 -
i wish there was an app to measure celllphone reception, which displays the signal strength via Augmentented Reality. With green yellow and red, just like it does with a thermal camera. So that you can find the best cellphone reception spot in your flat.2
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The past few months i got a bunch of emails and calls from my previous "boss" (hes the head of the research), that he would be grateful if i helped them out. I got a few friends still working on that piece of shit project so i said yeah, i can help.
Now this whole thing is a research involving most of the big universities, lots of math phds, and is kinda secret. They couldnt find anyone to sketch up a few stupid algorithms for them so i did just that.
Yesterday i got the specifications for the task. Its the core functioning algo, the one i made from fucking discrete integer data, it took me 3 fucking months to correct their mistakes, and now they want me to create 2 similar patterns for 2 completely different...things. Yeeeah no.3 -
Right now i want to put together a system to automatically water/warm/whatever my chilli peppers, but on the long run i want to embed some microcontrollers into my body.4
-
how to php, an infographic by Bind (that me)
0) assert your goal, in this example let it be sending an email from the server
1) search for implemented methods
2) all you can find is either outdated or not helping at all
3) think of solution in any other language (eg c# or node)
4) implement 3)
5) iterate until you have something that works but you have no idea why
6) after 1 week, realize that there is a built in method, but its called userData_registration_sEnder0(adress, header, egg, pinNumbe_r, message)
7) cry5 -
I made a speedcoding video and its really fun to see just how fast can you make yourself code something that works.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Here, ill probably make more later.9 -
Why the fuck does android studio freeze on every 7th deploy. I just want a world where jetbrains can actually create useful IDEs please.4
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I wanted to rant like 10 times today but was on a tight schedule (yes its fucking sunday), so here is everything:
*********
Fuck you, i dont give a shit that you need to present data tomorrow, its weekend, you cant just fucking call me to get things done asap. Im working from the code of a dead guy do you know how fucking hard it is to ask a dead person whats their code do?
*********
I really wish devrant had some kinda longboard/skateboard in the profile pic
*********
Im still not a fucking designer i can make like does-not-make-you-barf tier designs, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING CODE JESUS
*********
whys the new rick n morty episode not out yet wtf
*********
Yo i love linux but set the fucking privileges right you dipshit, i cant exrcute my damn code on your crappy ass 2008 xeon server fuck you3 -
I prefer to build my solutions bottom-up, creating a component right after identifying the need for it but before whatever would be using it, because this gives me the flexibility to think about the problem in the general sense and produce an optimal solution without overspecialization.
VSCode's Rust plugin is a bit overzelous about dead code detection and runs it whenever the codebase is deemed to be correct, highlighting every item that isn't referenced from main, even if it is referenced from something else that's unreferenced.
Whenever I finally defeat the borrow checker and produce a correct solution my entire codebase lights up in yellow like a christmas tree and I'm completely addicted to this. -
I've been dreaming about an eat() method in, I guess, Javascript. It would accept a string as parameter and set the cursor position further by the width of that string in the current font and size without displaying the string. A bit like a span with FG == BG.
But the best was the debug mode: the characters would be printed, but a yellow duck would appear from the left and eat them in Pacman style.1 -
me: what a nice day
someone: hey, wanna join our project? its a university thing
me: yeah sure
someone: oh, you r the PM
me: AAAAA -
The "Gratitude" emoji pack recently introduced to Slack. They're basically "Thank you" in different languages.
Among others, there is a Russian "спасибо", but there is no Ukrainian "дякую".
What's up Slack? Didn't you paint your logo blue and yellow when the war started?
If you're gonna push your "please don't cancel us" marketing BS like all the other companies, at least be fucking consistent.
8 -
!rant
Back to my old true self ~ ^^
(except now I have a yellow background, what looks like some sort of beverage, and a slightly darker skin because the Sun is a deadly lazer).
(I changed my avatar hours ago, already, but I couldn't rant about it then because of the 2h cooldown, so yeeeaah)
6 -
@dfox @trogus
Here's another suggestion (sorry to keep bothering your team!).
When I'm scrolling through my notifications, it would be nice to have them colour coded, for example, mentions could be highlighted with a slight yellow tint, and ++'s could be not highlighted at all..etc.
Thoughts?5 -
1) clicking on the wk141 tag wouldnt show the wk140 rants
2) big titty mafia mommy gf
3) when i buy something i always have the exact price on my bank account -
yellow lemon tree sound starts:
"i'm sittin' here in a boring room, just another rainy sunday afternoon, i'm wastin' my time, i got nothin' to, i'm feelin' so lonely i'm waiting for my fucking graph coloring program to finally finishing this fucking piece of graph coloring in which i spent the last four days figuring out what the goddamn problem is and for some reason my arraylists and my hashmaps didn't get along that well and now i hope that i have finally found the solution to my problem and let this fucking piece of shit of program run otherwise i'll get crazy, but nothing ever happens, ... , and i wondeeeer ... *dum dum dum* *ding* -
I don’t care. If someone wants to use something then that’s their problem.
Fucking linkedin spam to get me yellow badge like I am 12 or something.
7 -
I've been feeling very bad because I don't think I've been making good use of my free time. So I decided to change.
Looked at my goals, first in line, getting a driver license.
For that, I need to arrange times for practice with my dad.
For that, I need a clean timetable. I had one but teachers are lame and don't respect the times of course.
So, I need to print the new one I already had done.
So I went to the printer.
And it prints awful, everything is pink because it doesn't print yellow.
Fine, let's change the cartridge.
Printer refuses to work, it throws a stuck paper error.
My dad tries to fix it putting fingers inside. Nothing.
We suspect it's the new cartridge, change the new cartridge chip with the one the old one had. Printer fooled.
It still doesn't work. Stuck paper.
My dad admits he felt he broke something when he reached inside the printer..
We had to disassemble it and fix the broken part.
Now it works again.
It still doesn't print yellow.
We'll have get it fixed or get a new one.
I guess I have to draw my timetable by hand...
Sucks, I made it using html and flex. Every 1fr was 5'.
I'll make a gist if anyone is curious about it.1 -
I love cats more than dogs.
Despite being domesticated, cats remain true predators with true predator skills and the pedigree that comes with them. The evidence is your local government mandating house cats should wear bell collars to warn birds, as they threaten their extinction otherwise.
Modern dogs are mere scavengers that live off people and eat trash. They evolved to be cute by tilting their heads. Dogs aren't useless, mind you, I just like cats more.
But both dogs and cats are dwarfed by YE MIGHTY FROGGE. Frogs are the most fascinating and magnificent creatures to ever roam this troubled planet, maybe rivaled only by orcas. Frogs are the best. They're also the cutest, especially when touching a small yellow one can kill an elephant.11 -
i really love using linux with terminal only up to the point when i need to check a command and realize that i havent even installed a browser on my pi4
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2 week "conference" "meeting" in greece. Thought would also be a nice chance for a vacation. Except the cell network is absolute horseshit here, who the fuck uses 3g anymore??1
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Aubergine, oukome, taupe… wtf man. Just call colors old fashioned names, you know? Red, blue, green, yellow? Bitch13
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Somehow I always feel like shit after a party. But not because of the alcohol. I'm not even drinking that much anymore. And it's not because of the party either. I mean it was fun, I got to talk for quite some time with long time friends, we all had a blast... For some reason I'm just sad. Actually not sad. I don't know how to describe it. Like I want to walk down the yellow lit streets of a city at night, alone with a beer in my hand. That sort of feeling. Being alone in an empty city just walking doing the streets. Maybe doing something stupid. I don't know 😔
just thought I'd share 😔5 -
How come that im absolute shit when it comes to designing a webpage but i can make really fucking cool looking android apps, when they are essentially the same thing1
-
I randomly find this so wholesome. Stuff like this gives me hope that one day we create software to move society forward, instead of leveraging psychology to make kids addicted to cancerous social media applications (looking at you, lizugg_erburg)
Props to Anthony for the image:
https://pexels.com/photo/...
5 -
I found a better solution than taping over your webcam:
Not using the shitty inbuilt screen in the laptop.
And if you need tape, use BLACK TAPE, because who wants a glow in the dark yellow rectangle above their screen...1 -
We've got two conflicting linters for ruby.
The rubocops serve the IDE and say to outdent access modifiers, giving the indented line a little yellow under-squiggle. Monkey see, monkey do, I indent it.
The company's one in the build pipeline wants to indent access modifiers and literally fails the bloody build, screaming about a rogue access modifier two spaces from where it should be.
Waste of 5 minutes.1 -
Me: okay lets test this website i made for my iot projects
Apache2: nah nope i aint loading shell stuff
Me: hm seems like a php bug, lets debug locally
Me:
Me: fucking
1 -
Everyones like "python is pseudocode" but honestly i dont see it, after sql, python is the least intuitive syntax i ever worked with, and i frequently use haskell so4
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Currently rewriting a python library because the author clearly doesnt understand what crossplatform means, and this language is fucking terrible.2
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Anybody entering ludum dare on the 29th? I wanna try my luck at making a game, never succeeded before :')3
-
This is !dev as fuck but does anyone know something like a book recommendation engine? There are a ton for movies and anime, but couldnt find a good one for books. The best would be one where i input some books and fonds me similar ones.
Alternatively, im looking for dark fantasy books where magic is negligible and potentially has assassins in it, if anyone knows good ones.10 -
Will yellow dog finish one fucking game he starts working on? Tune in to tomorrows episode of Whyismywebsocketnotresponding Z to find out.
-
Developers probably use yellow as the default color of emojis since it's the best balance between all the possible pigmentation of the human skin.5
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boss: Yeah we really love our minimal white website, but our logo needs primary yellow stars around it. We think it looks great.
me: -_-1 -
Currently wondering why we use RGB when the "red" cones in the human eye are most sensitive to yellow light
3 -
There is a job fair coming up next week and while i dont really want to find a new job, i thought this would be a good excuse to update my cv a bit.
My question is, do you have any templates/frameworks/anything you usually use for stuff like this? I always throw together some bootstrap page but i want to learn something new.1 -
Do you know why PHP will survive? Here is my observation.
Most of my clients who wants helps have their sites either on Wordpress or Magento or other free PHP cms.
The background is, they install the whole site all by them self and by the end of month, the Wordpress dashboard is loaded with massive plugins and yellow / red warning messages.
Same case with Magento and other CMS alike.
There site get heavy and they realized that they are in deep shit.
Just like some people take medicine all by them-self or by doing google. Until things gets into serious trouble.
and so the conclusion php will survive.
love to hear opinions on that.8 -
I cant really contribute much to this wk because im mostly doing dev stuff in my free time.
But league and, well, strategy games in general taught me a lot about micromanaging stuff and thinking ahead. My advice is, if you wanna get better at most mental tasks, go download lol or grab a copy of cities or eu4 and play for half an hour every day.9 -
So I'm currently sitting at the BCN airport waiting for my flight and I just have to tell you about this.
In one of the fortresses in Barcelona there's one of these cursed yellow German stickers stating: "Nice here, but have you been to Baden-Württemberg?".
These things are a menace to the world. You find them at every major thingamabob in Europe and I even found some in Canada.
Fucking insanity.11 -
Ah yes i also love when you have so much shit to do for college where you are supposed to be studying developer stuff, that you havent written a single line of code in the past week because you dont have time.1
-
Yo, i have a course where i have to build an android app, and we can make what the fuckever we want. Can you give me some interesting APIs, that are publicly available? It doesnt have to make sense, everything is better than using the anidb api, and thats the only thing that comes to mind.2
-
!dev
>Be my friend
>Buy a tdi
>Upshift at 1300rpm
>Get up to speed in like a minute
Ffs the turbo never even turned on what the fuck.1 -
Not really a Pokéfan, just played good ol' red, blue and yellow, but the recently announced Pokémon games appear to be Kanto remakes.
https://imgur.com/a/rWx7CXj9 -
Sometimes after a long day the simplest of bugs is very difficult. Took me 10 minutes to figure out why my method to assign colours to users wasn't working.
addEvent({
name: userColour(something.name),
date: something.startDate,
color: 'yellow'
}); -
After the capsule started spinning, what seemed to be a suspended copper wire unfolded like an origami. Soviet tech not only looked cool, but was easy to repair. I loved every minute of marveling at this wire kaleidoscope before it overheated and went out with a bang — a small cap popped. I’ll recap it later.
…
Yellow foam covered my lips. They were gammas. -
While you developers are where you are, battling office politics everyday, scrumming, agiling and solving some of the world's toughest problems, I, for the past few nights, have been sitting for hours in-front of my computer, slipping into hour-long day-dreams while trying to determine my favorite ice-block flavor.
All I can say, is, it's either the yellow, orange, green, raspberry, cola, or the fairy-floss one.
And now I'm out of ice-blocks. ;-( -
Recent posts from @kiki and others made me think about tests. So what are your 2 cents regarding integration tests?14
-
Teams annoys me again by selecting the black skin tone for this emoji 💪🏿 no matter what I try to do to select another tone or the neutral yellow tone.
Now my colleagues must think of me that I want to send some message or something… damn it Teams!
I need to go to the freaking iOS Teams client to be able to post 💪. The other one is the bullshit electron desktop client.11 -
Trying to improve my console experience with Windows, I had antergos with Sindragosa in background and blue console font before, now it's time for Doomguy + yellow font and I like it :P
2 -
Yellow represents the lions,the kings of forests
Yellow represents the griffindors, the kings of Quidditch , kindness and bravery.
Yellow represents the Lannisters, the powerful and riches
Yellow represents the Sun, the fire of power.
Join the team Lions today, we got the muscle force here 💪3 -
This is not a rant, but I've searched this for some time now and can't seem to find it so maybe any of you will be able to help me.
A good few years ago, when I was still a 4-5yo I had a Win95/98 (I don't remember which). We used to have this CD that had a bunch of games, like Chucky Egg or Mahjong, or a xmas-related one (where you could bake cookies, serve drinks - there was a red and a yellow one - and more I don't remember), one with a (purple?) dragon (in a dungeon, that was played in levels, but every run was randomly generated, I think), and many more.
The CD was white with black text, and had a yellow-ish/orange-ish grinning face, that looked like a man's, with a few hairs, that was drawn simply, nothing too complex. I also know there was this one game that made the computer/game freeze, and that was in a blue palette?
I played the crap out of that CD with my mom, and she used to play the dragon one for me (until she found out Mahjong), but it all ended when it broke inside the tower and we had it replaced by the WinXP tower we currently have at home (and that's in pieces because me and my brother disassembled it).
I know it's not much, but does any of you remember anything like what I just wrote? It should be from around the 2000s and probably from a gaming magazine.5 -
Not a fan of the new avatars. Every avatar looks because is big yellow head and it feels confusing scanning through comments.6
-
Tried 4 times to move the 'data disk' on home assistant to the ssd restoring my backup.
This last time I let it run for 5 days and it didn't fucking work
Decided to just say fuck it, reinstalled home assistant to the yellow, did NOT restore backup, and the move to data disk took 5 fucking minutes : |
After that I restored my backup which took only another 5 minutes and now everything is just working. really wish the instructions suggested moving the data disk before restoring so I wouldn't have wasted my fucking time.
Like fuck am I the only one who had this issue? -
Do you have any images/memes for `bus factor == 1` situations ? Any devopsreactions ?
Strikes at me too many times nowadays :)
Not this one with yellow bus :D It's ugly -
(define (day p)
(map(lambda(color)
(colorize p color))
(list "red" "orange" "yellow" "green" "blue" "purple")))
>(day(square 5)) -
You keeping your devRant profile background yellow color is basically, you screaming "I'm gay" at the top of your lungs here.23
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When people look at your phone and wonder what that yellow chrome symbol is on your phone, thats freedom and speed young patowan freedom and speed.5
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2020 goal
Shid and fard
Also some form of a biohack that makes sens in a day to day life, looking at the new spider man movie glasses rn1
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