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"Work for me", client said, "I won't pay you but you will get some reputations for working with us" he added.
"Sorry, my body can't digest reputation", I replied.11 -
A client wanted me to make a website that compared the users face to that of a wrestler. We had done a lot of work, but now he wants to switch it...
to pornstars.
So, I guess the next week of my work is gonna be scraping porn websites. NSFW, for work.23 -
Client: I want all cookies blocked on my computer.
Me: Are you sure? Some things won't work if i do that. Like using online banking.
Client: I don't use it, so it's fine.
*Two weeks pass. I have to come back and see three bankcards laying on the table*
Client: I'm not able to use online banking anymore. Can you fix it?
Come on! You pay me to give advice and help out with problems. The least you could do is listen.10 -
Client: Why is this not working?
Me: Because the feature expect a...
Client: I sure hope you won’t expect your client to want to know all these teach behind this feature, as a client, I just expect it to work.
Me: Ok...
Client: So why isn’t it working now? WHY?
Me: 🤦🏽♂️
Client: I need a response!
Me: It is not working because...
Client: Stop telling me logics!! I just want it to work. Why isn’t it working...
Me: It is not working because I fucked up. It will work after I fix it.
Client: Why isn’t it working though... I don’t understand why...
Me: Just let me fix it and it will work...
Client: Why can’t you tell me why... it’s not good communication... (hangs up)12 -
I sent this email to client:
Hi Christine,
Can we shit this afternoon and go over the scope of work once again?
In reply she sent me this meme with few LOL emoji
16 -
"I did a windows update on my iPhone, and now Google maps won't work" (my mom's client, looking at Apple Maps)8
-
An old client reappeared the other day wanting his Flash website updated to HTML5. He didn't want to pay because "It is exactly the same, just needs to work on tablets.".12
-
BOSS: That icon is not centered, move it slightly to the right
ME: You're wrong, I can garantee you it's centered (it was centered)
BOSS: Well, my eyes are telling me it's not, so move it to the right
ME: (faking increasing margin)
ME: Ok, now it's 10 px to the right, what do you think?
BOSS: it's a great result, now it's perfect! Cant you see the difference?
ME: Absolutely, you do are the real designer here...
BOSS: Ohhh, stop complaining, you'll learn one day...
ME: Yep.18 -
Client: Urgent! App is crashing!
Me inside: Wtf, Crashlytics didn’t send me anything, it betrayed me...
Me: What’s wrong?
Client: Some random user sent me email that app is crashing SOMEWHERE(!?)
Me: ................................... no problem, I’m working on it.
*Tomorrow*
Me: Fixed, everything works fine now (didn’t do anything actually)
Client: Great, nice work!
Client never mentioned that “problem “ anymore.
#likeaboss4 -
One day a client sent me gifts and a sweet letter just because they loved their new website so much. I just about cried. I work in an industry where acknowledgment and thankfulness by clients are extremely rare. 😱😭8
-
Today I had a reflection with an client and they surprised me with a present. They wanted to thank me for the hard work and effort I made.
Wauw! It just keeps me motivating to work hard and keep my clients happy!
4 -
Client: "This feature doesn't work! I thought you said it was done?!"
Me: "Please press CTRL+F5 and try again..."
Client: "Okay, great, works now."
A conversation I seem to have on a very regular basis.8 -
Client: So you want 50 bucks for 5 minutes work pushing some buttons;
Me: Well yes. I didn't just pushed some buttons... I pushed them in the right sequence and solved your problem.8 -
Client: so how could we test this 😬
Me: you know what, send me an email at linuxxx@companyname.com and I can look if I can properly reply! Keep in mind though that this is for one time only, no further questions through that email address!
Client: Yes of course! *sends email*
Me: *tests* - *works fine* - *messages client back through the ticket system*
Client: *proceeds to send two follow up questions to my fucking work email address*
Me: *selects emails* - *marks emails as spam and deletes them*
Fucking seriously?! Cunt.18 -
So a client wanted me to work on a 6 month project for just 300$. Some people really need to learn the value of time and effort
18 -
Client: “Hey this thing isn’t working correctly.”
Me: “Hmm, looks like there was a bug in the last update. The team and I are going to work on a fix. In the meantime here’s a tool to help you get what you need.”
Client:”Yay!”
*A little while later*
Same Client:”Hey this thing isn’t working.”
Me:”Hey, yeah, it’s the same thing. That bug I told you about? Yeah, we’re still working on it. We’ll let you know when it’s finished I promise but we’re trying to fix it without introducing more bugs.”
Client:”Ok sounds good.”
*A little while later*
Same Client:”Hey this thing isn’t working.”
Me:”Bro...we just went over this...”
*A little while later*
Same Client:”Hey seems like there’s a bug in our system that was found by -insert random coworker’s name here-. Are we looking into to this?”
Me:”Wtf dude.”
*A little while later*
Same Client:”Hey this thing isn’t working.”
Me: -smashes my face against keyboard-7 -
Was scared to take up freelance work because i was scared of bad clients.
Finally took one today, client is not a total arse and knows exactly what she wants me to do, down to details.
MFW.
5 -
First job.
CLIENT: It's just a small website, 15-20 pages 2,500$, what do you say?
ME: Sure, sounds easy.
CLIENT: oh, and I need you to sign this contract that you won't copy or competete with me for the next two years.
ME: Sounds reasonable.
-- A year later --
I had finished building a huge CMS system that serves 420+ organizations, the entire thing copied from his competitor.
CLIENT: So there is only about two weeks left of work...
ME: Goodbye, I have a new job that actually pays money.
CLIENT: Don't forget our contract...
ME: Sure..
At least he paid me, but 2,500$ for a whole year's work isn't such a good deal anymore.9 -
Client wants PHP 7.2. I install PHP 7.1 by accident.
Client complains that I don't respond fast enough after 30 minutes (!).
I was in an appointment. I check the ticket. He messed up his entire server by trying to install PHP 7.2 himself because he couldn't wait half an hour longer. We always aim at 4 hours response time, and we hit it with every reply..
I apologize and tell him the costs for me fixing his mess. The client: "if it feels right for you to charge me because you never did your work right, do it."
Some people. How? HOW???17 -
I may have received the best email ever all these years (and a year as a Lead).
A client acted as a boss telling me to "work this weekend to finish the project a little earlier"
Enjoying my cereal so far..14 -
Boss: "I know we just finished the first part of Client A's project but they also want this extra work done that wasn't in the contract."
Me: "Can't do it without pushing back Client B's work"
Boss: "Well we don't want that. We need to hit that deadline."
Me: "Cool"
Boss: "But Client A was really hoping this new feature which wasn't in the scope would be in."
Me: "Then we're pushing back Client B's work"
<<loop continues >>5 -
Had a request from a client once, "I'd like that our site supports only IE10 and above. However if the visitor uses older IE version, say IE6, things should look and work the same as IE10".10
-
Client: I need this *insert app/machine/thing* ASAP! No excuses!
*work overtime just to get it done*
*after 2 weeks of finishing it*
Me: So has the thing worked without issues?
Client: Oh, I haven’t even used it yet!
:/5 -
Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with
Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent6 -
One of our clients deploy their own server app. So this happened after a prod deployment. (4am)
*Cellphone rings while sleeping*
Client : we need you on the conference call now. URGENT!
*Gets on conference call*
*Client explain the problem*
*Explaining to the client that the problem is in their side (https connection not working, either network or certificate problem)*
*Client doesn't believe it and pushes me for a fix that I have no control on*
*4 hours later in a heated conversation*
Client : ok problem is on our side. We used our SSL certificate from staging with production and thought it would work.
Me :
5 -
Client: "We are extremely satisfied with your great work for almost three years now and we are super thrilled to work with you in the future and benefit from your amazing work."
Dev: *makes one tiny little mistake*
Client: "Oh burn in hell you cock sucking piece of shit!"4 -
Client: "I need you to implement a feature which does x"
Me: "We can it do like this, I can do it in Y hours."
Client: "Perfect do it"
Me: "Here you go have a look and if you give your ok I'll implement it on production."
Client:"That is not what I need. I need Z"
Me: "Well then you should have said Z and not x. But I can do Z if you want me to."
Client:"Do it it is urgent!!!!111"
Me: "All done here you go."
Client: "That works like what I said what I need, but I meant more like xZ."
Me: "Ok, you know I have to charge you for all this, do you?"
Client: "What why? It isn't the feature I wanted!!11 Do it right and I'll pay you for the right one!"
Me: "It might not be what you wanted but it is exactly what you specified to me. I'll send you the bill and will not continue working for you. Good luck finding someone who is willing to do unpaid work for you."
I am so done with that kind of client.8 -
Me: “Hi, Client. Did you review my proposal?”
Client: “Yes. You asked me to pay you using dollar bills. I found someone else who will do the work for mere pennies. Have a nice life!”
How does anyone make any money in web design and development anymore?14 -
When on monday, a client asks you "WHY SOMETHING ISN'T FINISHED". Well, we don't work on weekends. Fuck off.3
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I usually don't work for indian clients. But when I do, they make sure I don't get paid.
Some highlights from my last project,
Client: Do you know ERPnext?
Me: No, but I am good at python.
Client: My boss wants me to find a guy who can create barcode generator for erpnext.
Me: I can use pyBarcode to do it.
This is exciting I thought. I get to learn a new framework. Start working on it. Not an hour passes by,
Client: hey can you remove this menu item?
Me: Which one?
Client: Also can you add the dashboard icons to left sidebar? Like Odoo? Do you know it? It is also python based.
Me: Then why don't you just use Odoo instead?
Client: My boss wants it. He doesn't understand computers. He is pissing mr off.
Me: Then how come he suggested erpnext?
Client: His friend told him.
*experience mindfuck*
For the next 3 days he has me working on these UI tweaks, never mentions barcode again.
But I finish the barcode stuff. Tripple check everything to make sure they work. Tell him to check so I can get paid. Guy asks his boss to check.
Boss > Client: It doesn't work
Me: What doesn't work?
Boss > Client: Everything!
Client: I actually tested everything and they work. My boss doesn't know how to use it. He is very old.
Makes me make more changes and finally when I ask for the work done so far,
Client: Boss didn't come to office today. I'll get you paid. Please try to understand my situation.
Me thinking, "mofo your boss didn't hire me,l. You did". But I keep calm and tell him I won't work until I get paid 50%.
3 days passed. No reply. Set his skype status to "Away" forever.
*spidey sense tells me I'm not getting paid, again*
U am beyond pissed and burnt out. I fucking wish there was a mafia I can request to collect my fucking money from them.20 -
Client: Why doesn't this process work?
Me: For the exact fucking reasons I said it wasn't fucking possible like three fucking times in two separate fucking meetings you fucking retard.11 -
#6
My client tells me there's a new bug with to-www-redirects. He yells they don't work properly anymore and tries to blame me. But fact is I know, they are well configured in the Nginx conf and therefore work like a charm.
I told him I fixed it and charged an hour. Motherfucker.
😓🔨 -
Windows 10 Native SSH client inside CMD is crazy nice, no more putty... given its a windows feature and all!
(Hidden in additional features if any one is interested, will need a reboot to work)
17 -
Client: You can develop a e-commerce system for me right?
Me: Yeah sure, whats your budget?
Client: 100$ and I want a really good vps included in the price.
** FManzi left the conversation **
No more work for inexperienced5 -
Client: "we need a piece of software to have our son be able to talk again"
Me: "what can your son do physically?"
Client: "He can only grip something"
Me: "well, I suppose that is possible by using Intel ACAT, some synthesizer and some switches"
Client: "Never heard of ACAT, probably some small program that nobody else heard of"
Me: "It was used by a great man called Stephen Hawking. If it worked for him, it should work for your son"
Client: "Who is Stephen Hawking?"
Me: *urge to put client in wheelchair intensifies*14 -
"How am I supposed to use this API? Do you expect the client to open that black thing [terminal and curl]? Why doesn't it work in the browser with clicking?"
🤷♀️
- Apparently, I do frontend now.7 -
Angry Client: All the data from this account is missing. I can't work like this with the app loosing data.
Me: Checks logs, see that client pressed the reset all data button and after that the confirmation button.
Me: As polite as possible informing the client what he did.
Client: Ooh yeah I did that.
It's sad that it has come to the point where you need logs on pressing buttons because they try to blame everything on the app.9 -
Client: hey are you home yet.
Me: no. I won't be for another hour.
Client: so who's logged into your PlayStation account?
Me: ....10 -
Made a web app at work.
Client reported the site crashed IE10 when it loaded.
I'm not even sad about it XD6 -
Client: So you work with computers?
Me: I create software for computers, yes.
Client: Fix my printer.
Me: I SAY SOFTWARE FOR COMPUTERS YOU BUFFOON!2 -
Here's how a client does "double murder"
-----------------------------
Client to designer: So you can make it run on IE 6,7,8 right?
---------------------------------
Turns to a web Dev who just mastered Node, React, angular: What if user disables JavaScript? It'll still work right?5 -
Ok, so I don't work yet and so I've never had to deal with any clients but based on the rants i have read this is how stupid I imagine most of them are.
Dev: Hey, would you like a chocolate bar?
Client: Yeah, sure.
Dev: here:
*hands chocolate bar over*
*client holds it in his hands, opens it and eats it*
Client: Tastes great
Dev: Ok, nice. So about the payment of the project...
*Clients face is swollen and he falls to the ground*
Dev: uhh, what are you doing?
Client *coughing*: Were.. were there nuts in the chocolate bar?
Dev: uhmm, yes. didn't you look at it?
Client: why didn't you tell me??!?!?!? I am allergic to nuts!!
Dev: uhh, I didn't know that. But srsly, did you not look at the wrapping of the fucking chocolate bar??!
Client: I am going to sue you!! You will go to prison!
Dev: Fuck off *leaves the room*
Image of the chocolate bar:
5 -
Client: We are really happy with your work and enjoy working with you!
Me: Thanks, happy to hear that! I appreciate our collaboration as well.
Client: Great! So... can we get a discount?
Why do people think that being nice also means being cheap!?14 -
Client: "the content is pretty confusing and inconsistent. Would you say the frontend is ready?"
Me:"please do not ask that way."
Client: "i just asked a question. What do you mean?"
Me: "well.. you basically say that is bad and then asked me if I thought it was bad."
Client:" i was asking a question. It is your problem if you find that offensive. You were to deliver a finished design until 3pm. "
Me:"you just reviewed it and came up with new input..and apart from that there were just some buttons in the wrong shade."
Client:"yes but I expect that kind of critical input from the developer. "
Me: "I understand, but this was a tiny project for 300 cash. I can't go all out on a budget like this. "
Client:"but all the other jobs I gave you lately were paid much better.."
Me: "yes. Those were other jobs, right? Should I feel obliged to work overtime I eager expectation of more and different work?"
Client: "you used to be more excitable...."
:/1 -
Client (not for the first time): Your work sucks. I had to have this email formatting re-done before I sent it out.
Me: *sees that the email sent matches the work I did exactly with no changes*
Client (months later): I need you to do maintenance on my website.
Me: *does quick maintenance for free but sends update on status of work done and amount left in retainer agreement*
Client: You're too expensive! You started working with me for $X/hr, then you went up to $Y/hr and now you're all the way up to $Z/hr! You're not worth that!
Me: *fires client by refunding the remainder of retainer and sends client a list of local, cheaper providers*
Client: But now I don't have anyone to maintain my website until I find a new provider! Why have you done this to me? Waaaahhhhh!
Me (in the most professional language I can muster): Because you're a biotch and I'm tired of your verbal abuse. Maybe try not to be such a dbag to that next provider, mmm'kay?7 -
Me: the websites now works on all devices.
Client: now make it work on IE6.
*1 week later*
Me: the site now works on IE6 too.
Client: awesome, now make it work on Netscape navigator 56 -
Feedback from a client
-"It doesn't work! I want this solved immediately! "
- What? Which of the 20 views? Can you be more specific?
... 5 hors later (and lot of wasted time debugging) ...
-"I mean, this button is not aligned."2 -
When your client still need your work to be tested in IE7....next, should I ask whether I need to test it in Netscape?4
-
As a freelancer, I outsource every bit of work to other countries with cheaper labor and charge the client like a rollercoaster13
-
Best: My first app for Windows 10, "devRant unofficial".
Worst: A website for a client using Facebook APIs which don't want to work properly.4 -
Client sent the printing company I work for right now, a fax with an image and a message like "Please print this 4 by 2.54 meters", guy I talked to feels really tempted to scan it in and then just print it lol5
-
I work as a freelancer on *****.com also I have published a theme on theme***.com
Yesterday a indian client message
Client: wii you be able to help me to install a wp theme and customize it to my liking?
Me: sure why not, send me the link to that theme.
Client: here's the link (link to my theme)
Me: (oh i will make money from both side :D ) do yoy bought a license ?
Client: (shocked) who need license , download it from *****.com
Me: (crying in background)16 -
I need to explain to a client how pc work. I use this image. Now every time my client explain what a pc is start talking with "it worked like a WC"... What I have done?
7 -
*Got a request for installing and configuring an online shop for a client*
Me: Do you have a web space already?
Client: No, I don't want to pay for it. (FYI: They only cost about 20€ a year)
Me: Okay, but free hosters are often slow and unprofessional. I really do not recommend using free hosting services.
Client: Doesn't matter, do it.
Me: *Working on the shop for several weeks, finally goes online*
One week later, client contacts me saying shop is offline. I realize the free hoster he used shut down their services (bankruptcy), resulting in the loss of about 90% of the work that I had done (no proper backups due to complexity)
Client: How can that even happen? You'll redo the shop, right?
♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ5 -
Client - "We absolutely totally 100% neeeeeeeeed this plugin added to our wp site that another team built. "
Team - "Nope sorry you can't have it the plugin was deprecated 2 years ago, and the service you want to pull a feed from dost work like that any more. Here are other options A B C D. "
Client - "No we want it. You have to make it work or we are cancelling our account."
Team - "see ya"2 -
Okay so
Client asks for a bunch of data what can be easily calculated with excel. I think to myself, yeah, ill not fuck around adding numbers 1by1, ill just use excel.
Client wants a program, says he likes having a program do stuff. Mind you, this isnt an universal program at all, it just has to work for this specific input file.
Me: packages the original excel file into a jar and makes it unpackage when run.
Client: is happy
Me: ??? -
Client: Everything is perfect but few small changes to be done.
Me: Wow, that will be easy.
*Client lists 100 points*
Client : Those are small changes. I guess it will be done in a day.
* Yeah sure I am Superman * :/2 -
You're already working 60 hour weeks and your client decides to give you even more work because you're delivering and meeting all the deadlines.
5 -
It's always fun to compare webdesign to car sales.
Client: We want a car with 2 doors.
We: Here is you car with 2 doors.
Client: Why does the car only have 2 doors? This is very limiting and i think 4 doors work way better.
We: Okay fine, here is a car with 4 doors.
Client: Could you please check on the brakes, i think there is something wrong but i don't know what.
We: Ok we checked the brakes and they are working ok. So here is you car with working brakes and 4 doors.
Client: Why didn't you check on the exhaust? The car is generating big black clouds now...
It's never enough7 -
I work for healthcare client project in a start up, worked two years straight without a break.
Client is very inconsiderate about developers work-life balance, he always wants to release every features yesterday.
Never had a reasonable deadline, worked late nights most of the time. No one had backbone to control this client from our side.
Its only developers team, no project management, scrum masters or anything, everything has to be taken care by Dev's.
I decided to take a week break from work.
The first day of my leave he pinged me 3 times to change an "from email" address for notification email which no one give a damn about.
I never replied or did anything. But the part of myself is dying of guilt.
Now I can't relax myself completely.
Re-thinking of my life choices atm.
I loved programming since high school, I can work on computers 24/7 without tired. That's how much I love it. Now I'm just tired of it.
If anyone who read this till here. Thank you.18 -
Supposed to get paid from a project. After all the hard work I submitted the project and this is what the client says:
"Thanks"
😕8 -
Client: Don't be afraid to charge us as it is must, we know your work is very valuable.
Me: Ok... *delivers the price*
Client: mmmmm... we thought it might be cheaper 😰
Me: 😒1 -
After creating a logo *for free* for a client who I thought was a friend, they started getting really ungrateful and demanded me to do things in a not very calm way ("DO THIS", "DO THIS RIGHT NOW") (yes, it was actually in caps). I kindly asked them to stop using the graphics while informing them that the license used didn't let me actually force them to remove it. After that, they started yelling about how "he'd have to redo all the graphics again". All he did was put the vector logo inside a raster circle and change the font. Yes, he really did convert vector graphics to raster and didn't use the originals at all. Not only this, but he also used *aliased* raster images.
He ended up using them anyway, informing me in a cheeky way after being kicked out of a group chat (which I wasn't even the moderator of). See the picture attached for how he did that, red is the client, orange is the moderator who banned him.
TL;DR: Don't do free stuff, regardless of how bad you think your skills are.
9 -
Client : We need this feature
Team lead : Sure, we will deliver this to you in 3 days.
Meanwhile Teamlead forgets to work on it or assign it to anyone in the team while he was surrounded by many other tasks.
Client on 2nd day morning : What's the progress on that feature?
Teamlead to Client: It's going fine, we will deliver it to you on time.
Meanwhile, Teamlead to a junior developer in the team (on 2nd day afternoon): We have this priority feature where we need to finish it in one day and deliver it tomorrow!
Junior Dev to Teamlead : This is too much of work to complete it in 1 day, it atleast needs 3 days!
Teamlead to Junior dev : I don't care, can't talk, busy, just complete the work and deal with the client, bye.
And the Junior dev continues to struggle where he is unknown of the fact that the task actually was of 3 days but just because the Teamlead forgot to do the task and also to assign the task early, he is in trouble!9 -
*In the final weeks of development with a project on a short timeline because the client "needs it".*
Client: "We've hired a consultant we want you to work with."
Me: "Okay, can we push this to after the delivery?"
Client: "Of course"
Wake up to an email from the consultant with a list of scripts he just ran on the production database server for the currently live app.
Get follow-up emails about bugs and app crashes from the client.
My rage is so hot it can keep warm an Eskimo tribe over the winter season.2 -
Client: "The app moves slowly and has moments when it freezes! Why?"
Me: "Let me check the server...it has 5 GB of memory allocated for it and you are making it load 4.76 GB and never cleaned the log files..."
Client: "Then it should work fine! Almost 500 mb free, it`s a lot! Let the log files be there, we might need them in 5 years!"
Me: "What?..."11 -
Helpful tip to all you freelancers or those with the authority:
Never let a client dictate anything in how you do your job, no matter how simple.
Even if they ask you to make yourself available at a specific time, don't. Instead, tell them times you have available so they have to work with you.
If you give a client an inch, they will always take a mile.3 -
Okay, so I'm in rage mode right now :/
Last week a client of mine absolutely insisted on removing the "irritating delete popups" as they phrased it, against my advice.
In short, when deleting a record, I had a sexy "swal" confirmation appear (see https://limonte.github.io/sweetaler...) with some key data from the record, that prompted the user to confirm the action.
The client has now emailed me with the subject "URGENT, please read ASAP!!!". The email says his staff has deleted lots of records incorrectly.
*** face palm ***.
This is EXACTLY why we include delete confirmation prompts.
As I've used Laravel with soft deletes (luckily for my client) it shouldn't be a huge issue to reverse around 400 deleted records. However, I'm charging my client for half a days work out of principal.
Perfect example of my client not listening to me :(
5 -
Client sends multiple emails claiming that Im delaying n work and that he has a deadline. (In 4 hours)
I checked his revised briefing and started work in hopes of finishing it under my own deadline of 3 hours.
Received another email from my client telling me that the briefing is incomplete and that he will send me the final briefing tonight -_-
What the fuck man?10 -
Never accept a deadline you think you can can make if you work really hard. Just to please a client.
-
Note to self: if you work on a logo concept that you know it won't work and it's hard to implement/loses meaning in monocolor, don't show it to your client as part of the first round of concepts.
Because that's the one they'll choose.2 -
We finish our sprints on time.
The PM congratulates us for the good work.
The client gives positive feedback too.
And yet, I have the feeling we're sailing full-speed straight into an iceberg.2 -
I don't get it when people (developers) complain that git is hard and unintuitive to use.
Most of these people use some GUI client to do the dirty work. I've found every Git GUI client that I've tried tedious.
Does anyone relate?15 -
Client declined to allow billing over the weekend, demanded I work 20 hours. Task will be mysteriously blocked or delayed for the next two days as a result.6
-
To client: "I will have the project ready in 4 weeks" - starts work on the last weekend before the deadline.
Why do I always do that?2 -
Does anyone else usually feel a bit homicidal towards someone(replace with boss or client) who doesn’t know a thing about what you do but constantly critiques your work?
Client: I don’t like how it looks, put some more design on it.
What does that even mean ????!?!6 -
Client tests app 100000 times, app works fine
Client tests app once, app doesn't work
Client sends email to everyone,
"Hey, @CodesNotHot, this app is not working at all! Can you please look at it right now!! This is URGENT!"
I test the app, it's working fine.
I just want to high five someone with a machete on the face right now.2 -
New discovery: The best way to deal with tight deadlines is to work no more than 4 hours a day, sleep a lot, vibe a lot and using the newfound energy make the client move the deadline.3
-
Clients wants a complete reworked of their e-commerce website - sure will cost X amount.
It needs to be done before black Friday - nope6 -
Follow-up on my previous rant:
My "friend" recently removed all credit to me which is breaking the license of the graphics I made for him. I have given him 7 days before I will take legal action, hope the warning scares him into either not using the graphics or adding credit back.3 -
When the only way to work, is thru a client's laptop, and the client has to be around to use it... F*CK!11
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Client: we are using Scrum. Next week we have sprint review organized by the project manager.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: in the next sprint we work on a mockup not releasable in production.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: sprint backlog is changed again, at the end we must do everything that is written in the contract with that fixed amount of money.
Me: definitely not Scrum.
Client: we are using Scrum.
Me: Ok.1 -
GitLab CE crashed after doing a reconfigure, something with the LetsEncrypt client. Hours of debugging later it suddenly works again and the letsencrypt client doesn't throw errors either.
Happy that it works again but I'd like to know WHY it suddenly works again after I pretty much changed nothing (or, I did, but I put everything back to the original values every time a suggestion doesn't work).
Grrrrrrr.2 -
That feeling when you find out a client you've done work for, for several months hadn't payed us this whole time...
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Another day, another client story.
So today the client is sending me the text for the website, and after 15(!!!) iterations, add a period, center the text, justify the text, center it again etc.
Me: Can you please create a word document, design it as you like, and I will copy that to HTML for you?
Him: But if I do all the work what am I paying you for?
Me: To listen to you ...3 -
I really wish people valued health over profit.
So I joined a company last month and last week I got assigned to the biggest client we have. The project is quite big and there are no deadlines coming up. I was sick for a couple of days and hence could not turn up at the office. Apparently the client called up my manager and went on a rant about this situation. So now I have to work on the weekends to cover up for the missed work while on meds that make me sleepy.
Fuck such clients.2 -
Just changed jobs and learned that this client, a big international company, spent a whooping 2.000.000,- USD on a WordPress that does not work.
My job: clean up the mess they made.
Annual budget: 200.000,- USD
FML.3 -
When your Program prints a PDF two times. What the Client thinks what happend:
myDocument.printTwoTimes();
When you review your Code:
This shouldn't even print once! How is any of this even working?
Happend to me today at work :D -
Client wanted a site for the 100th anniversary of an important local musician. They wanted to show calendar of events, biography, store, and more. We started the work 8 months before the commemorative date, and after 4 months, the site was 99% complete and waiting final review and approvement. 2 weeks of silence has passed, when I got an email saying their deleted the site from server and all backups, and now they wanted all the work back.
With luck, I could restore a partial backup, and the client didn't want to pay for redo the rest of the work.
10 months later (yes, after all the events has started and the site being off) they contact me again, asking to continue the work.
I was happy to say no.1 -
New project, sent a 7 page contract to the client. First day of work and client begins to ask things outside scope and terms.
I explained what is written in contract and he interrupted me saying "I READ THE CONTRACT".
One minute later, he starts asking the same things again.1 -
Client on fiverr.com won't give me SSH access and I am unable to finish my work...
And the client has no Linux knowledge and is unable to set things up my himself.2 -
Client: MY PASSWORD DOESN'T WORK
Me: our passwords are case-sensitive
Client: YES I USED CAPS LOCK1 -
There goes a week of work. I accidentally overwrote my Node server, in production, with a client script, without backups.5
-
Ordered a Raspberry pi.
Excited to work on it.
Also ordered heat sink with it so as to make it 24/7
Till now I've thought to use as a cached DNS server+VPN client [and from it I'll share the incoming college WiFi to LAN (yes my college is finally getting WiFi for us in hostels)]+mopidy server with iris client
Give some more ideas.
Also, will the RPi be aple to work 24/7 without burning up if heat sink is installed?22 -
Vendor we('re forced to) work with, as we share a client. This is in their stylesheet. Fuck SEO best practices, amirite?! 😒
5 -
Client doesn't have space for us consultants at his office anymore....guess we're going to HAVE TO work from home! Jeeeeeez......how horrible is that!? ..... 🤠2
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Potential client: "We need this project done, but don't have much of a budget. But, if it's successful, could result in a lot more work."
If you want me to invest in your company, offer stock.
FFS.4 -
I absolutely HATE that stage fright feeling I get when I'm about to launch new software into production mode for a client! Anyone else feel that? Makes me want to vomit thinking of all the promises I've made that it will work fine and then all the things I don't even realize could go wrong. I never have enough testing resources because client budgets tend to favor shiny features at the expense of testing.2
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client: use THIS color for the background.
me: work work work
done.
client: ohhhh that's too colorful.3 -
The client (who is also a relative) decided to change the website after the testing phase. Gonna change 50% of the website tonight without getting any extra dime. FML
Don't work for relatives especially for whom your family asks for.3 -
New contract termination clause to be included in all future project contracts: "Contracting client agrees that uttering the phrase 'Your job is whatever I say it is,' or any semanticaly equivalent variant thereof is grounds for immediate contract termination. All work product and IP rights will transfer and assign to contracting client ONLY upon payment in full of contracted payment amount prorated to contract termination date."
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Client: here's what we want, a website where someone can directly edit any file on the website, php that java thingy all of it. Hell allow them to access, the os so they can see how that works to.
Me: ... Hey great idea ... We could set the server up in your offices ! I could link the server to all your computer's they can modify anything you have on there as well. That won't cause any issues.... At all.
Client: urm why?
Me: *hangs up* sigh ....
It's a fake scenario.... But how I feel like when I speak to clients 😐 based off what some guy wanted to do, a whole training thing for devs to learn how servers work ... The idea is ok to train... Say an apprentice, but he wanted to attach this to the Internet.... Not limit its use... Obviously way to expensive. -
Client: "But why isn't it working. It should work"
Dev: "Sorry but it's not in your requirements"
Client: "But it should work"
fffockins 😡1 -
Just got my Contract canceled by my client cuz introducing -- my half-month of hard work -- April Fools Theme to his Website i've been working on past 5 months (not including vacation).
Worth it 🤣🤣🤣🤣6 -
The worst feeling is when you are really proud of your work, you managed to realize your vision in a perfect way and you're really happy about the result, so much that you are presenting it to the client with pure joy, but the client doesn't appreciate it, doesn't understand your vision and consider it worse than the previous version.
It's incredible how easy It is to move from happines to sadness and depression in a few seconds.
My work had made my day, but the client ruined it.
fml8 -
Client writes a bug report: This and that doesn't work.
Me: This functionality never was implemented. Please open a feature request.
Client: But this is a bug. Without this feature, the service won't work as we expect.
Me: But this wasn't in the requirements for release. So you have to contact the PM for a feature request.
Client: THIS IS A BUG! FIX IT!
Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF! THIS IS A NEW FEATURE AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!
Unfortunately, I never sent the mail. But I kept it in the drafts. Maybe someday...1 -
Tfw you *have* to tell the client it's *technically* possible, but at the cost of work and complexity... and they come back with "let's simplify the whole thing then" *.*1
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When a client says they no longer have time for one of their websites and asks you to make it completely autonomous.
Yeah sure, I'll go ahead and install Skynet on it right away!
I no longer have any motivation to work with that client. -
When a Client is supposed to send you sponsor icons for the new website and all you get is a single PDF file containing all of them. Why ??!! This is even more work to do for them ???!!!
-
Client asked us to build standard dating app. Android version was published without problem but iOS version was rejected because during registration we collect data application does not need to work properly, that data is age and gender of user...2
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Flipping client is checking my website work for them in an old version of internet explorer before I've even tested and having a go at me!
** Stick to your own job arseholes ** -
After 4 months of dev, Project went into production
Client: it should work like that.
Me: it's a CR!
Client: No, it's not!
Me: talk to my boss.
...
...
...2 -
I walked into work this morning and before I even pulled my laptop out of my bag a PM asked if I could make a "quick change" for a client 😑4
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Last time, working on a project with two mates at school.
I'm the one who knows how to read and understand correctly a doc for low-level c libraries (portaudio, opus) and working on sockets.
I make the barebone of our server. Co-workers should work on socket client.
After a week, the socket client is ugly, and almost unusable.
I rewrite the socket client in two days.
Co-worker, for a week : "the only contribution of Orionss is deleting my code" (it wasn't the first time)
In these moments, I would like to kill this guy1 -
Client to Company :This is a complex 1 month approx task. We need this feature
Company forgets to tell employee developer about this.
Meanwhile Client to Company after one month.
Client to Company: We are just 1 week away from the deadline, what's the status of the work in progress.
Company to client : It's going well, we will get back to you on the day of demo.
Company to employee developer: We have this complex task, you need to complete it in 1 week.
Developer mental status gets fucked with over burdened hectic work which has to be completed in a week having no idea of fuck up by the company which already had the information of the task one month ago but just forgot to tell the developer.2 -
I just overestimated the fuck out of some tasks because I knew the client would come back last minute and cut the deadline in half.
2 days later they do just that, luckily I overestimated the work so now it's all good.
The annoying thing is that they keep doing this, but since I work for an agency I have no power to drop this client since they give us a lot of work, so that sucks6 -
Reviewing code for applications after not working on it for six months.
Client: so what is the first step to adding our new feature.
Me: I really think we need to redo the entire architecture from the ground up. It won't work any differently than it does now, but the code will be cleaner.
Client:😓
Me:😅3 -
I not sure what is worst, an arrogant client full of demands or anti professional collegues who don't respect you and try to subvert your work
-
When you work your ass out for days and night together for a feature. Rip your brains apart for that slimy thing to work.
And the client says it was not needed.
FUUUUCKKK2 -
Client texts me ‘can you resend the link to the test page with the video’
My response as not at my desk but remember the page name
Me: Sure it’s ‘website/vtest.php’
Client: i copied the url into my desktop browser and it doesn’t work.
Me: replace ‘website’ with your actual web address.
Dumb Fucking Clients4 -
"Ok, so if you want this thing to show up here you need to set this property, ok?"
Client: "Ok, but how about I just don't and complain that it doesn't work?"3 -
PM : Develop this new feature. Client needs it tomorrow. And be sure it works perfectly well.
Dev : haha how can it work without bug if it's developed in a day ?
Poor dev got transferred to support department :(
4 -
Didn't realize buttons will submit the first form on a page, coded without this assumption, went into production without anyone noticing. Cost the client about 8 grand in work that had to be redone.1
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When your Boss openly refers to projects as Micro-sites to the client, devaluing the scope of work, and being completely unaware of the actual scope of work, which is essentially a twitch platform, to be built on wordpress, with integration to Power Point Dock, and a live chat queue
5 -
On Friday. Client and Project Managers arranged a meeting and wanted me to be there. Client said the meeting will be max 15 Minutes but it was around 2 hours. This client project was due the following week. I was happy because everything was done and excited that the client might be coming down to say how awesome the work was.
The table turned around. They came changed the designed and functionalities. The client said, it won't take long to do it, right? and my Project Manager said No! No! No! don't worry its very easy thing. It will take him around 1 day to do it, it's just all cosmetic changes.
It took me more than a week to get it done, test again, check on browsers. The client was pissed and they fired us. Guess who was blamed for it?1 -
You can work from home! Heck, you can work from anywhere in the world... we just want you to be at the client 65% of the time!
Whaaaaaa... what? Are you fucking kidding me? How is that helping me avoid having to sit in traffic? -
Client A: "So, how about those features I told you yesterday? Can it work? Have you discuss it with your team?"
Me: "Yes, it would possibly have to extend the due date a little bit more..."
Client A: "Meaning?"
Me: "You have to pay more."
*Another 15mins awkward silence moment*
Client A: "I don't understand."
Seriously, get some other guy to do the meeting please...I am not good in PR....
3 -
I have the best of the very best client on Earth.
A kind who would flat out reject with most depression reviews to our best and hardly committed work whenever an payment installment date is near. -
Client wants some cool feature -> I spend a week coding it -> shit's cool -> client updates the design -> the feature is gone from the design
I still get paid by the hour but uhhhhhhhh it really makes me feel like my work is pointless.4 -
Client : you are hired as a developer.
Me : we need more developers as there's more work and less time.
Client : Ok, here's another dev
(Meanwhile me doing my work...)
ON THE DAY OF DEMO :
Me : Here's the demo.
Client: it's incomplete, where's more work?
Me: that's the part of 2nd dev you hired before
Client : I don't care, I fucking need a work!
Me inside: (Why the fuck would the first dev becomes a task/team manager just because is the first one to join the project! Arrrgh!!! Hire a fucking scrum master to manage your fucking tasks/team, am just a fucking dev! )6 -
a former client and their client keep contacting me about the project i did for them, we couldn't agree on a new contract but they keep asking me things about the site but, if they had signed would be billable.
Sorry i dont work for free.2 -
Client: Can I see an update of the work?
Me: Mails the client the first update has been published.
Me: Mails the client the second update has been published.
Client: Can I see an update of the work?
Me: Did you see the last e-mails I sent this morning?
Client: *crickets*
Yet another client that expects we do cheap and fast work, mails us daily he wants to see updates, and constantly requests new features... but can't be bothered to give us the feedback we need for those features, or even read his e-mail.
Next week we'll get an angry mail that the features aren't exactly what he expected, mark my words.2 -
Be me
Work at software contracting company
Get a new client, iOS objective-c app with ~40000 lines of code
Previous Dev didn't leave a single comment, and he didn't use a database, he used 'NSUserDefaults' -
Laziest thing ever done - Launched a website without a big feature I had to work on.
Neither my superiors nor the client have realised it yet. And by the time they do, it will be too late 😈 -
I work with content. More specifically I work on content migration and improvement.
We connect to many platforms and pull and push documents into it. This one time we had to connect to some outrageously expensive (6 figures) system which we obviously couldn't afford to buy just for testing. The client wouldn't give us a testing server either.
My literal warning: "We need a testing server because we're gonna push it until it breaks. Then we know the limit." Client: "nah it will be fine." Us: "I promise you the server will go down..." Client: "It's a stable system. You can test in your own folder on our server"
10 minutes later we had an angry client because the server crashed due to overload.
I'm not sure if I'm annoyed or amused :p -
I’ve been out of steady work for almost 2 whole months now but things are starting to look up...
I’m super stoked for some potential client projects!!! I have one client that wants me to completely rebuild their businesses infrastructure, PC refresh, server upgrade, network overhaul for 3 sites, and more. This new client has a business partner with another side business and wants to discuss potential work/projects. And I’m going to be discussing a potential contract deal on Thursday to develop a custom software for another client.
Guys! My startup is starting woot!!!3 -
Guys , do you ever lose your coding interest cause your client/boss is totally not a teck guy with strong opinion on your work ?6
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Wanna get pissed off? Have a client complain about a penny difference on a report, and not specify how they want values rounded. It'll work, GUARANTEED3
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A client wants me to build his website. He want a WordPress one, with a tool named Elementor to let him build stuff and upgrade the website by his own.
Seriously, Wtf is this shit !? That's a pure nightmare to work with !5 -
Client : i need to filter login by ip adresse
Me: ok its done put ip in CIDR block in admin panel and voila
Client: URGENT URGENT email ... Noting work on your shit ..=_=
Me (head) : what a fucking jerk i dont know how work CIDR IP block ...ans i demands it ...2 -
Agree or disagree: as a developer guaranteeing your work, when you accept a deposit from a client as a milestone payment, you should not spend that money until the client signs off on the milestone in case they decide your work is unsatisfactory and want to go elsewhere.11
-
Experienced programmer:
Code works in head; code almost works in computer; code never works with client.
Beginner programmer:
Code almost works in head; code never works in computer; code will never work with client.
Long story short: it's hard to begin but when you let the code flow, you became a programmer -
follow up from my previous rant
(https://devrant.com/rants/1058071)
after a conversation with the intern product owner he came up with the idea of me going to the client and sit next to the person who send me the csv file.... and 'work it out together'... THE INSTRUCTIONS AREN'T IN FUCKING OLD GREEK! Even a potato could do it... No wait, potato's are too smart for that... I mean... it are easy work hours... Without doing much....
But I didn't become a programmer in order to sit next to the client and 'work it out together'... It would also suck to go to the client because I have no drivers licence (never had to have one, yay public transit!)
Why can't it be Christmas already? I could use some free time.... -
Noo, it doesn't have to be responsive, that's not in the specs we agreed on. It just has to look&work perfe<khmm> decent on any phone and tablet.
- sneaky client1 -
Our approach is to get a loose feel for what the client wants, lift some visuals from Theme Forest then spend the next few weeks persuading the client to use our crappy server rather than their preferred AWS solution. Then once the project is behind schedule we break the work down into disparate tasks each of which gets a single line brief from the PM (such as 'create admin' or 'do css'). These then get assigned to different devs with no consideration of their skillset. The PM is available for 10 mins every day to answer queries, the rest of the time our devs are expected to work autonomously. Meanwhile we'll tell the client that we're back on schedule and arrange a demo for an impossibly short deadline. We have the mantra ”dont worry about it” which the PM uses to quash any dev's concerns up until the day before the deadline at which point we'll swap some devs on to unrelated work whilst others concentrate on getting "just the pages the client wants to see looking right" (we have a policy of making it look like it works before it actually does.) Following the demo we will announce all the missing features we had forgotten about from the initial undocumented agreement and set the project aside whilst we service another client.2
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Is It correct to stop any development job because the client stopped paying? What are pros and cons about it? I think it is good, you won't work for free but I've heard some people say "It's better someone owes you money rather to have no job". I really don't like that point of view. Any other industry stop it's activities when you stop paying them... However I'm asking this because what happens if that client is a big client? Say... Walmart. Would you keep working on it's project even when it's not paying?11
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I dream of the day when I can go to work and actually work. I swear this client has a masters in pointless meeting, the other day we had a meeting to 0lan a meeting.3
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Reviewing and explaining 1 year old bad application logic to your client because he asked for it and now he can't remember how the application work.
-
When a client absolutely insists on me using Wordpress for a stupidly bespoke and complicated system that "they will be ultimately selling commercially and just needs to work".
1 -
How do you guys know how much to ask for freelance work? I'm always scared to ask too much and lose a client1
-
2019 goals...
Launch my app in Play store
Build more projects
Make work fun for client
Earn more
Learn learn and learn.... -
The moment when client test team rejects a fix as it "doesn't work" when it's clear they haven't read the documentation 😂2
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The feeling you get when client is happy and appreciate your work and just asks for the mode of payment accepted?3
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NDAs for me are a good predictor for a bad client or client relationship.
Doesn't work so well for larger cos, and it's not unusual for them to require one anyway.
I charge a fairly high flat fee for signing one. The people who won't pay probably don't need the NDA anyway and were going to be problematic.3 -
Estimating for a new client, asked for details of their current API. Got the answer " I can't do your work for you". This will be fun!!1
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Keep your state of mind to be either one of "This is a lot I can learn from this" or "Let's get this over with, as fast as possible", depending upon the client and nature of work.
-
My job in company to developed e-commerce website as a full stack developer.
History of that project.
Company paid 300,000 INR to the local web development firm for developing previous website and they developed website without bootstrap/SSL/Even save information of high profile client in plain text.
I am not angry on that web firm ,I am laughing on my company because such client never trust on independent developers who work hard ,code day and night to complete freelancing projects.
I hope my work will make differnce in their selling. -
Worst argument/fight was on a game I was working on.
One of the other devs was waiting for me to write some server Code before calling the endpoints on the client.
After writing the server Code I added the client side Code and committed it to our repo.
They had a massive go at me for doing work for them and threatened to remove my Code and replace it with their own code. -
Client: Thank you for this and all your hard work we will review and get back to you EOP Friday before final submit.
Us: We have been working to a deadline and have actually finished early which meant that we would be able to submit on Friday, at the very least by the afternoon. One question...is this your time EOP Friday?
Client: Yes
Us: That'll be 2 in the morning here and a Saturday.2 -
This happened about 2 years ago. My colleague at work, who's a kind and smart soul was actually yelling at the phone. Before that nobody had heard her yell at anyone, let alone a client.
The history was that she found out that the client sent her falsified official documents and she confronted him about that, so the idiot client started laughing then yelling that she had to be 'on his side' since he hired us as consultants. That's when she started yelling.
How can anyone be so cynical?
This is also our job to save your moron ass from your own stupidity.
If she didn't found out and the documents sent to the government there would be a lot of trouble for everyone especially the client.
After that we all comforted her and told her she did right. Unfortunately the client wasn't fired (a friend of the boss) but of course we all declined to work with that client again.1 -
I can now tell if a client will be difficult before... I do the work.
Good skill to have, I can tell them to fuck off1 -
Me: I have very perfect reason why I did not come to work to day .
Client: Please state your reason .
Me: its silly I don't wanna talk about it.
Client: please do
Me: my index fingers are hurting
Client: why
Me: what do you mean why I was tying to git push heroku master
But every time some json dependency failed -
Goodbye HipChat, hello Slack.
After doing ANOTHER update to fix the connectivity issue with the Windows client after waking from sleep, it still doesn't work.
1 -
A client wants revisioning on revisions, so he could check if the revisioners were doing good work...
He wouldn't answer then question: "Why not doing the revisioning yourself?". -
My client had a meeting and presentation of app for one possible client of that app. I, as a developer of that app, left a hardcoded id,I saw it but forgot about it immediately. Let's just say filtering did not work properly. Sorry.1
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If you are working for a IT company and if you start taking direct work from a client, would it be unprofessional or unethical or is it fine..6
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When working on feature the client requested for two straight days, one that required refactoring few others. Just to hear on the third day, that no, he won't be needing it after all.
It is simple git revert, but still. Two days of work just removed be single command because of incompetent client.2 -
Developer contract, day rate £500 in London or £400 remote working! WTF!
Does the agency/client seriously think they should pay less for the same work if done remotely? If anything, remote should pay more, it saves the client money and the remote worker will probably have more productive hours without the fucking shitty commute.3 -
The worst project you had to work on? Or the worst client? I don't know if it has already been done :x
-
Our client wants us to deploy all changes to the test server & to the production server at the same time (-___-)
So all bugs which have been founded after that should be hotfixed ASAP :/2 -
Client A asks for Feature A. Devs start working on feature A. Client B comes in asking for Feature B. Management tells us to stop everything that we're doing to work on Feature B. Client C comes in...
We end up having tons of branches with half-finished features, and the product never improves1 -
Client : Couple of new features are added. Check out the documentation. Deliver the product as discussed.
Me : I doubt that. With new features it's definitely take one more week than discussed.
Client : Don't glam blame. It shows the work Quality and you are Incompetence.
Me : !?!?!???1 -
Tomorrow our small company moves to another small office. I don't believe that Internet connection or our ip addresses works correctly. it should work and I need those ips for connection to client servers.6
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Am I the only one to hate Google drive window's client? It Is far slower than OneDrive/Dropbox. If you work inside the drive you could lose shit, If you remove a file window says it can't be removed but after the error message he does it and If you log out the client..It removes the virtual drive with your files on😑😑 what the fuck Google, what the fuck7
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So the client ask for a new super urgent request and want to see it completed in 10 minutes.
Not that I can't do it, I just need 2-3 minutes to do it, but because of their rudeness, I left the job for my little cute interns who work at my company.
Takes her more than hours to complete.
Sorry client. LOL1 -
Work From Home
I was in kitchen , my client messaged me and in hurry to reply her back , rushing towards my laptop, I fell and got bruises on my knee :(
Will take atleast one week to heel3 -
Once when the marketing guys validated an offer with a client without taking the technical team estimations..
When someone gave me the work and I find the time is not enough, I said: whoever validated this, he can implement it by himself. -
Me: "You should go with this other option for the software. It's cheaper and you can do more."
Client: "No. This more expensive and less-capable thing I chose is better. We'll make it work."
[several weeks pass]
Client: "This isn't working. Why didn't it work?"
Me: "You have to upgrade to a more expensive plan, or switch to the other solution I told you about."
Client: "No. We'll make it work."
Me: *facepalm*3 -
> client has no infrastructure of the project
> dev like me still work on it
> I constantly request for mock-ups and infrastructure
> client never responds back, instead he raises issues ahead of sprint
> I snap back at him
> Client wants call now
> What the fuck
To be honest, I'm gonna take a stand here...fuck this shit man, no clear way of working
2 -
Soooo, thought I had the greatest idea in the world - fell sick for 3 days (minor fever NOT covid) and the idea don't feel too hot now
Plus im out of beer and I have to do actual work for a client :(2 -
Those feels when you're tasked with producing a detailed breakdown of the structure of the client's application, and you're high-key having to avoid being too negative about the shit-show.
2 -
All the projects where you are doing an awsome design and code work and then the client wants pizza pictures... more pizza pictures everywhere... and then he wants more of them again.
Bottom Line - When you have to build bullshit sites2 -
Can you tell that fucken Barracuda VPN Client to only route specific domains to the connected vpn?
It makes no sense to route my whole fucken traffic through my workplace's network. -
!rant
So got into a small debate (actually a civil one, surprise surprise) about the final project for a class. Basically the final project involves a team of 3-4 coders making a website for an actual client that either they find or provided by the professor.
The exact point of conflict was that the work is pro bono. The student argued that the work should be paid since after all, real work, real client. My argument is that because the clients don’t exactly choose the designers (or have little to no knowledge of most of their work) there will be high variance in quality and contract work would cause more conflict if done in class.
So just wondering, what do people think about this? Logistical issues aside (earning money for technically school property/ownership and money for learning essentially)6 -
ArseHole, for simple CRUD, my client suggest to use WordPress. Then they added payment and booking system. I asked why still using WordPress????? It's nightmare to work three peoples on functions.php file.
Fuck off. Go fuck yourself. 😣7 -
client: Your sh** page doesn't work, i haven't been able to do a single sale in hours...
me: have you tried to reload the page?
client: Of course i... oh wait, that was the problem, thanks anyways1 -
The CI on Mac is broken. Again.
Next time I have a client that wants me to work with Apple, I'll double my rate.1 -
Client deescalation needed and intervention by company leader...
Client refuses to test - too much work they say.
Client wants a lot of changes - but cannot define what.
But most frustrating... Even as we tried to with all patience that was left to find out what they were doing aka how they work, what work flows, documents and so on were involved, they basically started a team discussion and seemed to work all differently...
And the project should be a complete sale and warehouse solution, suited and written for their needs.
Really? How can a company like this work?
It's not the first time I've dealt with hard projects or 'weird' customers, but really the first time I have no fucking clue what I should do.
Can someone please summon Ctulhu?3 -
After days of work we finally deployed a finished project to integration for the client to test.
Client calls... They decided to use a different technology. Project is cancelled. Wat? -
This friend of mine accidentally deleted client data in their production database, DBAs gotta work paid overtime to fix the mess...at least he only got away with a written warning. Dude coulda been fired on the spot
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Has any of your previous client contacted you during covid 19 period hoping you’re out of work and available to work for them for cheap?
The client who contacted me was visibly disappointed to know covid has not affected my work.1 -
client: "can you build out a staging server for us? here's all the code, everything you need"
me: "awesome, looking good, i have almost everything i need, just give me the credentials for the server, and I'll get started installing all the infrastructure"
client: "ok, try these!"
me: "doesn't work"
client: "this one?"
me: "doesn't work..."
client: "how about this one?"
me: "STILL NOT WORKING!!!"
imagine you want someone to do stuff on your server and you don't even know the root SSH password.... smh
why is this always a problem, use fucking 1password or something its 40 bucks a year, secure, and you can organize alllll your passwords. don't be a fucking boomer and write them on a piece of paper, or worse, apparently like my client, never know it or have it in the first place.5 -
Woke up early. Drank coffee and my mindset is so ready to do some work. After 30 minutes I'm so sleepy like a literal crash down and will sleep now. Body why you do this? I hate night shifts. It destroys my body clock. I hope weekends and mall hours are night shifts as well.
Also I hate company internal system project when I am assigned to a client and the client don't know that. I can't tell it to the client and my company can't tell also because my hours are 100% committed to the client. -
My manager just told me this at the end of the work day.
Today, my manager got a call from client "X".
They wanted to know why issue "Y" happened at event "Z" that was being put on for their client.
My manager basically told them we had nothing to do with that part of the event, so we wouldn't have had anything to do with solving problem "Y" either, but that what ended up causing problem "Y" had been passively mentioned to us months ago, and that he's not sure why their client didn't communicate it.
Client "X" told my manager that they would call back after talking to their person that helped organize event "Z".
No call back.
Definitely rant-ish, but also kind of a funny/ridiculous story to end the work day with.4 -
It's my birthday today. And I have taken the day off. Client has emergency work for me. BPOS CLIENT.1
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I used to work with a client from Israel. Eventually we become good friends, We stayed in touch even after our project ended. Sadly, I haven't heard from him since the war began. Hope he's safe.1
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Client: We've gotta launch *now*! Where is the ready version? Get it all done yesterday!
Me, after fixing it all: There you go, we can launch now! I just had to work like mad, you're welcome.
Client: We have changed our mind on the design and we talked with tertiary shareholders and and and, and it seems we're gonna launch in 2077, now change everything
Me: :^)))2 -
Finally completed the stupid boring never-ending android project and sent it to client. Phew! Now I can work on the other iOS app which I like. Yum.4
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The client will fuck me if I don't finalize the project, no I will fuck him, let him wait for another year hahaha, I have to live now.1
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Am I the only one that who is forced to implement some funcionality that I know that wont work only to prove to the client that actually wont work as I predicted?
And then implement how I suggested at the begining?5 -
I'm doing freelancing.
One client hires me for 30 hours/week.
And I'm are getting work irregular.
Like
1 week is full of 30 hour
1 week just 10 hours.
1 week 20 hour.
What should I do?
I try to get other project but most of are For a full time.
One Client hires me but at that time the previous client gave me a full 30 hour's work so the new client could not get enough time and gave me low ratings because of time wasting.
I'm afraid that can happen again.3 -
There is this work from home job, where they recruited me in one day, want a client project ready by next night. Asked for offer letter many times, but not recieved till now. Too many red flags? Or is it just me?8
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Best: Getting really close to my team and having good times with them as well as having a client love their website so much they sent me gifts and a really nice note.
Worst: Rude client who treated me like shit, made my job 103837xs harder and made me want to cry, scream and not want to come in to work ever again.1 -
3 weeks back took a bug..
**long rant**
Looked into it and found that it is exist in older version(say V1) as well.
Sent mail to client stating i can fix this in current version (say V2). Since V1 is already released and our current code stream is V2 and so if we fix in V2 , the code will not reach V1 code base.
**explained to client**
Client : I mean if you fix why it won't work in older release.
Me: Explains how code streams will work.
Client : Okay.. but it will support the functionality in V1 , right ?
Me: (*internally* are fucking kidding me? It won't work dumb ass.) No. It won't work in older versions. I am fixing it in V2.
client: okay.. Let's proceed.
Me: Done code changes. Send code to review. (we have to send review to upper level manager).
Manager1 : I didn't liked this part. can you change this ?
Me : sure. Done.
Manager1 : Now i liked it. Sent review to Manager2.
Me: why the fuck ? Are you not sure about my changes are good?
Manager 2: I liked it, but need some log changes.
Me: Fuckkkk...... Let me change this.. Done. Now can I promote those changes?
Manager2: No we need to send review to client manager as well.
Me: Goddammit.. Okay.. sent review.
*After a fucking week..*
Client Manager : Looks good. Push the code.
Me: Finally..
(This process took 18 days which would have been completed in 3 days if there is only one peer review)
Now the other guy from client whose tracking the bugs reported why it took so long to fix it.
I think my client manager is over paid and can't even know how his company code stream works. Fuck you . why client has these lazy ass old fucking "I don't look into my email" type people. God I hate these "I am in rich country" people.2 -
Client gave late template for website and system, after that fpdf for live site wont work, too much to do so little time.
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I never worked as freelancer, but I'm thinking to start as far as I keep studying, and I was wondering... How do freelancers charge their client when they get paid x per hour?
How do they assure the client they worked for a certain amount of hours?
Do they do it by prediction or they say they'll work y hours per day?
Feels like a dumb question...2 -
#Rant
I work for a client that introduced a "roadmap" with tasks labeled with task numbers in May this year. And its 1st July and development-wise we are at task #15. And the client havent asked us to deploy anything yet. Not even task #1.
So its been 2 months of us just developing features in our local machines and now its pissing me off.
What would you do in my situation ?4 -
Client was on a budget and it couldn't go past CMS dev work. He wanted A MILLION EXTRA FUNCTIONS and didn't believe me when I told him I'd have to code from the child theme and disregard his pre-installed full theme... fml
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I had a meeting 5days after accepting work from a client (the project was basically a mirror version of your typical job board with extra features).
The client and our project manager joined forces in labeling my progress/project/work "untouched" because it was simply still undeployable.. fml -
Question:
Were you hired by a company and develop software FOR that company?
Or...
Were you hired by one company and build software for a client or attend work at a client's office?4 -
Hey Devs!
I am working on this devRant client as we speak. You can check it out here ->
https://5e7b-103-2-134-207.ngrok-free.app/...
You can also watch me work on it live on YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@SidTheITGuy/...4 -
You work on your code in the evening..no errors...
Go present to friend/colleague/manager/client the following morning...
Your program throws out a bunch of errors..At that point you tell it, "why do you hate me!!??" -
When the client decides that we wants to change the production server and does it, and the DB params are still the old ones, and no one can work, and shit happens...1
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Working on a project for 2 months now, and still got another 2 to go. I am doing all the work since creating and managing the database, all the html, css, js and php needed, dealing with the client, go to meetings, etc... The client paid my "boss" €4000 and my "boss" is only gonna pay me 12.5% of it.2
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I had my first client meeting today.
Now I understand the pain of dealing with clients rather than doing work.
I don't relish the fact I had to stay an extra 2 hours either. -
Discus always before how much ur client have to pay! Worked round 3hrs each day on a range of 6 weeks (6d each week) on a gameproject. After i did my work i requested my money - all i got were 50€! Just fifty fucking euros for so many time! Good that the retards never got it launched because my client (is even a dev) never finished his work or whatever.
PS: Didnt got paid in BTC 🤐
PPS: it was about 2,5yrs ago 😎 -
I 'm auditing the code of a client application and :
How the fuck do you create an external dependency (private npm) with it doesn't work outside of your project?!?!?!?
If it needs your project to work IT CAN'T BE AN EXTERNAL DEPENDENCY!!!! -
Have you ever screw up your client just because they are not willing to pay for the work you have done? ( Asking for a friend. LOL)17
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No google I don't want result about marketing, features of set Software.
I want fucking answers why the fuck our merge tool that comes with that stupid software does not work! And setting an alternative also does not work!
Just Answer my fucking question!
Setting up "tool" with "Source Control client" or alternative. -
Last Friday, owner goes to client location to take part in a demo. Dev supervisor is gone for the day for daughter's graduation so they leave me in charge of application (which I wrote anyways) and in charge of embedded software developer. The 2 of us work hard to make sure all parts work flawlessy. Demo goes great and owner is very happy because company looked great in front of client.
Owner calls dev supervisor, again who was on vacation for entire demo, and congratulates him for a job well done.
WTF??? -
PM: 'the project is going down but the client is so happy from you.. he is inviting you to a new similar one'
Giving me work for more than a year and still doing... opening new positions and boosting the company a little1 -
Am I the only dev who works almost always for one boss as a Client but it seems to work with a 1000 different ones? So tired of continously change routes on my projects...
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That feeling when you get the job because of the JS but most of the work is fixing server side xml to play nicely with several vuejs components on the client side.
Or vice versa. Probably the vice versa.2 -
Been forced to use my MacBook Pro with 4/5 years to work today (I'm on client company)...
After 4 hours work was able to run app for the third time...
This day will be looooong3 -
The client asked you for a MVP of his idea and during the work he adds little never ending features like ......
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Tfw a client wants his email signature to work on Outlook on Windows and claims that it has worked perfectly before. Looked at their old signature on Outlook and it's worse than shit.
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Any U.K. / EEA devs with substantial Angular experience?
Asking for a client, it’d be remote work with visits to the office every so often.
Contract work too, so ideal for freelancers. -
Spending many days on a project, getting the irritating parts to work, you make a theme your client likes and you look at it now adding the so called easy parts and your like what is this mess
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I work in a BPO. I like my current assigned foreign client with continuous work and my BPO company wants me to assign to a local client to start from scratch again.
I invested time and effort for this hard foreign client then after all that they will replace me in the future with other employee? Quite sad 😞3 -
Happy the devRantron mac client app is working again. Way back it suddenly did not work so I just used the mobile apps.1
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I love the feeling of producing the design specifications to a client, who is complaining that a feature doesn't work the way he expected. Even though you highlighted that it would be combersome to use before development.
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Motivation to work: 404 not found!
This project is going to crash, the client wants live but we have a broken ci/cd and the application is not even finished.1
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