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When your boss asks you to debug some crappy legacy code and you need to bring in the heavy artillery
7 -
About 10 years ago my wife and I were buying a house. We found out late that we needed a lot more cash than we had previously thought we needed, and the deadline to deliver it was just a few days away. After returning home from my full-time gig at about 6pm, I took a break for a bit and then worked all night on a job for a client to make up the extra money. When 7am rolled around I had just finished up. Then I went back to work at my full-time job, and later met with the client to present my work. It was roughly 27 hours at a keyboard for me. That effort made it possible for us to successfully buy our first home. If you want something badly enough, make it happen!7
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!Rant
So the interns tried to 3d print a rubberduck and it got stuck mid way.
Guess i have a coding duck now
I call her "Detached HEAD state"
18 -
Not a coding test, but:
Them: So you are interviewing for a programmer opening. Do you like programming?
Me: yes.
Them: do you make logos?
Me: ...I can...?
Them: good because you won't always be writing code here.
Me: I'm out.8 -
The worst career choice I ever made was walking away from a six figure salary software development job with benefits to focus on the small startup I co-founded just a few years earlier. My wife and I had two small children at the time and my wife was also nearly 8 months pregnant with our third. It resulted in an approximate 70% reduction in income, prematurely cashed out 401k and loss of existing health insurance.
To be fair, it was also simultaneously the best career choice I ever made. Three years later I make more now than I originally walked away from. The raw roads of stress, anger, fear and complete uncertainty have aged both me and my wife at an accelerated rate but we have grown closer to each other than we would otherwise be. We have relied on each other, and she has been unbelievably supportive with all the late nights and required traveling. We discovered what we are capable of. In one day it will be October. In one day it will be the month that we finally pay off our last batch of credit card debt that resulted from that career choice.
I cannot recommend following in our footsteps as from where I’m sitting there are much better, more calculated ways of going about it. Logically, what we did was beyond stupid. Luckily for us, we were still young enough to not grasp the full magnitude of stupidity and we also refused to fail. It’s also crucial to have stellar business partners who are just as crazy and just as determined. We have all labored tremendously and we have each played critical roles in our success. The hard times of fear and uncertainty aren’t over. I don’t think they will ever be, to be honest. But, it sure has been one hell of a ride. I wouldn’t change a thing.17 -
Early in my career I was assigned the task of implementing a 3D pie chart into our application that you could spin and rotate with your mouse. You know, because sometimes you want to see the sides and the back of a pie chart.4
-
It had been 13 days since I was last approached with a "great idea for an app".
Today, the counter resets to zero!
7 -
7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.
Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.
Fuck.
Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.
Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.
Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.
He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.
And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.
I need a fake rock with a key under it.
Great Sunday.18 -
The devRant Podcast is finally here!! We're happy to announce the release of episode #0 - featuring Andy Hunt (known for The Pragmatic Programmer, rubber duck debugging, DRY, and much more). We can't thank Andy enough for agreeing to be on our first podcast episode and it was so enjoyable to interview him.
We also want to give a huge thanks to our two devRant users who helped us out and came on to talk about their rants - @silhoutte and @sway. We also greatly appreciate all of the questions that were submitted by community members. We really wanted to ask all of them since there were a lot of good ones, but we had to narrow it down a little as Andy was already kind enough to go over the 20 minutes we had originally asked for. This episode features questions from @casanovanoir, @fatlard1993, and @3K-Vengeance.
You can get all the links to the podcast here: https://devrant.io/podcasts/... (available on iTunes, Google Play, and we've provided the raw mp3).
If you'd like to see it on any other platforms in the future, please let us know. And like always, feedback is appreciated since we're new to this and still learning our way when it comes to podcasting. If you enjoy the show, please rate it to help us out :)
Thanks everyone!
31 -
If you're going to bother to detect that my input is without hyphens, then you can certainly insert them for me too.
8 -
My girlfriend always takes pics of me coding saying it looks beautiful lol... I once told her that code is like a beautiful woman who is sick and you're the doctor and can't figure out what's wrong and occasionally ask your rubber duck for help...24
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Not writing unit tests.
Everyone reading this is guilty of it.
Anyone who says otherwise is lying.23 -
Apple just announced a new 6k monitor. The stand for it is NOT included and will cost $1000.
This snapshot of the presentation is meme-worthy.
...People will still buy it.
31 -
That awkward moment when you tell your gf you want a rubber duck for your birthday present but you mistyped it.
Gf: "Sweetie, what gift do you want for your birthday?"
Me: "a rubber dick would be fantastic! it'll help me debug things"
Gf: "Ok... if you say so..."8 -
I came from a village, we have animals (like a farm), pigs, chicken, sometimes duck and goose. One day I had to work from home, bc had to come back to parents house. Our daily skype meeting was like this:
* discussing very important IT stuff *
* grandma rushes into my room *
me: sorry, but i have a meeting
grandma: i just wan...
me: but i cannot right no...
grandma: just wanted to know if...
me: grandma, I cannot right now, we have a skyp... im talking with colleagues, on the computer
grandma: * quiet voice * okay, i dont want to interrupt, I just want to know - Did you ordered the ducks?
* what I hear in headphones: collegues and boss LOLd sooo hard *
me: ffs, what ducks?
grandma: did your father not give you the guys number?
me: * starting to sweat * what guy? no he didnt, i have no idea what youre talking about
grandma: * disappointed * then who gonna order them...?
me: ...
grandma: * standing next to me, she hears the laughter * whats that?
since then, if im working from home every skype meeting starts with "Tommy, is your grandma there? HAHA!"7 -
Client just informed our support that they solved their own forgotten password problem by clicking the "forgot password" button in our app. They say they are now awaiting the email with the password recovery details.
One problem: we don't have a forgot password button in our app.9 -
I had to do some work in an older C# repo. I see git is automatically ignoring each new class I add. After scouring the .gitignore file, I see this entry put in by one of my colleagues.
15 -
So I found myself explaining to my rubber duck all the things I've done wrong in my past relationships...
What? It's a great guy, I shouldn't limit it just to code issues, I have a life it could fix too4 -
Me: Visual Studio 2019 is acting weird. I should close it and re-open.
Me: *Clicks X in top right of instance window*
Dialog: Not enough memory to perform this operation.
=/8 -
Do you ever talk to yourself out loud while thinking/programming/debugging? (Not a rubber duck in sight, because that makes it okay?)
I need to avoid making this a habit..
Me: What? Why is this even an error?
Someone: What?
Me: What?14 -
My sister in law got me this guy for Christmas after I told her about devrant!
She found it in a rubber duck shop in Amsterdam.
Best sister in law!
11 -
My lil girl has a habit of bringing me her rubber ducks whenever she sees me sitting down and just chilling. But this far she has (funny enough) done it twice whilst I am coding.
This time she got me super duck!!!
:) i love my lil girl
13 -
I actually talked to my duck. He solved my Server 500 error which said "java.lang.NoSuchFieldError: logger". I had to purge the build .class files and recompile the application and low and behold it runs.
Why is my duck a better debugger than most actual debuggers? He didn't even go to college!
11 -
Today I became a rubber duck debugger 🐤
I was leaving from office and spotted my senior collegue sitting glued to the screen solving an issue. I sat along with him to embark on a debug adventure. I casually asked him about the issue and what might cause it. After a bit of discussion *bam* he figured out where the problem lies and solved it in an instant.
Quack quack off I run 🐤5 -
So yesterday I became an actual human rubber duck!
So I have a colleague in my team that for weird reasons is not allowed to work with the same thing as the other colleagues in the team is allowed to work with. So she´s kind of alone, working on another project, and that seems to suck really hard.
And this is how I became a human rubber duck. She asked me a couple of questions about a technology/language I´ve never touched before and I told her I never worked with that technology or language and know nothing. But she was eager to get me over to take a look at what she meant.
So I came over to her screen and she started to tell me everything about the project, the technology and the language. I soon realized she wasn´t only looking for help, she was probably feeling alone in the work she was doing and just needed someone to talk to. So I took my role as the human rubber duck and sat down to listen to everything even though I almost didn´t understand anything.
I think it actually helped her even though I did nothing.
Being a human rubber duck felt good!
7 -
!rant
*Just got a package delivered, didn't check yet*
Friend: who sends you stuff from from the USA?
I (excited as fuck): uh it must be my
DevRant
Duck
Delivery.
Friend: your what?
I explain, he walks away not giving a fuck.
But I don't care what he thinks, i love my new devDucks. Oh and special thanks to @dfox for the autograph. Well technically you just signed the customs declaration, but an autograph none the less.
3 -
I found a duck today and just had to put a little cape on it 😂
I guess you could say..I really want the d 😏
Sadly I could not convince it to become my companion 😭
8 -
Guess who's birthday it is! It's my birthday and that are my birthday gifts my GF gave me 😍🤩
Also starring Dick-butt Debug-duck!
I feel blessed. 😁
26 -
!rant
And so it began.
I made debug duck-chan (with devrant-chan of course lol)
@No-one this is your fault xd
18 -
It would be really awesome if devRant would send us a rubber duck if our rant gets more than 1000++ 😝😝18
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Yet another someone just contacted me about having a "great idea for an app".
That's a justified rant all by itself.7 -
!rant
Stackoverflow has come up with this great idea of "virtual rubber duck". I just tried it. And I must say that I'm really enjoying it right now!
5 -
At my first job, I got tired of having to type a user name and password every time I debugged the web application. Thinking I was clever, I put in a hack so that if you launched the application with the query string "?user=Administrator" it would log you in as the administrator. So much typing saved!
A couple days after the next release, I realized it shipped like that. In absolute horror, I walked into my boss' office, closed the door, and told him the tale of my mistake.
He just looked back at me, and after a moment or two said, "Loose lips sink ships."
And that was it.4 -
!!rant
!!ANGER
Micromanager: "Hey, Root!
Since you're back, and still not feeling well, we have an easy ticket for you: Rewrite the slack integration gem! Oh, you don't have to re-implement all of it, just make sure it all works the same way it does now. That bitch you worked with once over a year ago who kept throwing you under the bus to management and stealing credit for your work? Yeah, she wrote the original code like four years ago. It's perfect, so don't touch it. but she can fill you in on all the details you need and get you up to speed on how to test it.
But yep! It should be simple. and I just knew you would love this ticket, so I saved it just for you. Nice and quick, too, to get you an easy win.
You know, since you have to repair your reputation with product. and management. and the execs. and the rest of the team. and me. Yeah, product doesn't trust you so they don't want to give you any tickets. They just can't trust you to get them out and have them work. So you have a lot of hard work to do."
Spoiler: The bus-thrower wasn't much help. (Surprise.)
Spoiler: The ticket was already in my backlog -- one of a grand total of two tickets.
Spoiler: I don't find the ticket fun. Maybe if I was to write the entire implementation with a nice DSL? but no, "don't touch the perfect code." Fuck you.
Spoiler: It isn't going to be nice or quick. But, she (micromanager) is looking to lose me, so that really is an easy win. for her.
And. just. argh. fuck you. i've been exhausted and dying for well over a year, but you've kept ignoring that (and still are, despite me providing goddamn legal forms from fucking doctors stating it in plain fucking english, which you also fucking ignore), and you just keep piling on the work and demanding the ridiculous of me despite it. Yeah I can pull it off sometimes. No, I really shouldn't, and I'm surprised I can. (also, "Time off? What, and lower your productivity even more? ____ doesn't even take vacations. And how are you doing on that ticket?") And no, none of my tickets have ever had any fucking problems. Not even when there are upstream service outages. Not. a. single. fucking. one. Ever. And the only things I've ever missed were things that bloody product never put in the fucking ticket, so fuck you with your "repair your reputation" bullshit.
god, i fuckiNG HATE THESESTUPOID ANWETLJAF SAJEWTKW BITCHFACEDUCKFUCKERS
Why the FUCK am I still fucking working here?
Right, because I've been burned out and dying so much I can't pass a fucking interview so I can fucking leave.
jasdkl;fk
ugh. Anyway. If you ever find yourself starting work at a Cali fintech company whose internal mascot is a very fine duck? Just run. I absolutely guarantee you will be miserable.14 -
Took me a week to realize that "!rant" just means "not rant".
I thought it was some sort of post front-matter that was no longer supported by the app (like a Duck Duck Go "bang").
😅7 -
So I was just informed by a Canadian colleague there's a giant rubber duck in Toronto.
https://thestar.com/news/gta/...
They should've advertised it and keep it to make a Developers' Mecca... and hold a Developer's Day where we all gather and yell out all our problems.
4 -
Fucking HR interviews. Fucking "tell me about yourself" and pretending to seem interested in what i have to say while you think about how you did it with a guy behind the dumpster.
For fucks sake, i am a developer, i have spent more time with coding language than human language. I speak more to a rubber duck than to my friends. That's what you want to know about me?
I am here to fix your fucking site that uses flash plugin in 2017 and you want me to tell good things about your company?
Do you want me to tell you the details about your site that i got from whois and that your subscribed domain registration will end in September this year?
You don't know what responsive design is and you dare interview me?
Thanks for wasting my time and telling me shit about your company and how you have offices in germany and china. Well guess what? I dont care. I am busy thinking about some girl... Actually i am thinking about my side project. I dont know why i pretend to be cool?7 -
If I run into a problem with code or a configuration of some kind, like a good little programmer, I Google it.
One of two things will happen:
1) I quickly find the answer to my problem.
or
2) After hours of searching, I can't find anything about my problem. At all. I change the search phrasing, adjust the advanced search settings, read all the somewhat related but still unrelated articles. Nothing.
If #1 happens, awesome, life is great, thanks Internet!
If #2 happens, it's because of one of two things:
1) I am the first person in the world to stumble upon this issue. Quick! To the Blog Cave!
2) I AM TOO STUPID TO BE DOING WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO BECAUSE MY MISTAKE IS SO UNBELIEVABLY DUMB THAT NO ONE HAS BOTHERED NOR WILL BOTHER TO WRITE ABOUT IT, ANYWHERE, EVER. I LOOK AT MY WORK AGAIN FOR THE 100TH TIME AND FINALLY REALIZE MY EMBARRASSING NOOBERY.
2.1 is a unicorn. 2.1's happen to other people.
I am dealing with a 2.2.2 -
The hardest part of programming is not the inner workings of the chosen frameworks and tech.
It's the damn naming.
I will spend hours trying to figure out what to name things for sense and clarity and then a fraction of that time coding it together.
*me, staring out the window*
"Hey dude can you--"
"Ssshhh. I'm naming things."15 -
(I wrote most of this as a comment in reply about Microsoft buying GitHub on another rant but decided to move it here because it is rant worthy. Also, no, I'm not a Microsoft employee nor do I have any Microsoft stock).
Microsoft buying GitHub makes sense. They contribute more to the open source community on GitHub than any other company. (Side note, they also contribute/have contributed to the Linux Kernel).
Steve Ballmer isn't running the show anymore. Because of that, we have awesome things like:
* Visual Studio Code - Completely free and powerful light weight IDE for coding in just about any script or language. This IDE is also open source, hosted on GitHub. It can be installed on Win/Mac/Linux.
* Visual Studio Community Edition: fully featured flagship IDE free for solo developers and students, can be installed on Win/Mac.
* Fully featured Sql Server running in a Docker container.
* .Net Core, which can be compiled to native binaries of Windows, MacOS AND Linux. You can't even do that with Java, you have to first have the JVM installed in order to run any kind of Java code on any of those operating systems. .Net Core is also an absolutely beautiful framework with so many features at your disposal.
...and more.
Yes, they've done bonehead things in the past but who/which company hasn't. Yes, they have Cortana. Yes, they force Bing on you when searching with Cortana (does anyone actually regularly use Cortana? Or Bing?). Yes, their operating system costs money. Yes, their malware-style Upgrade-to-Windows-10 tactics were evil and they admitted such. Yes, they brought ads and other unfortunate things to Skype. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about that Skype bit translating over into GitHub. BUT, the fact that so many of their employees use GitHub daily means they are dogfooding the platform, which is a positive thing.
Despite the flaws, from the perspective of a software engineer they really should be given a lot of credit for all these new directions they are moving in now. They directly aim to help and contribute to the developer community. Plus, Windows 10 is finally getting a dark theme! haha.
I think Microsoft buying GitHub makes a lot of sense. Of course do what you want about it, feel how you want about it, but casting the same ol' shade at them for anything they do seems a bit like automatic reflex more than anything else.
I'm bracing myself for the impending wave of angry hornets from the nest I just kicked. In all seriousness though, I welcome discussion on the topic even if you feel differently than I do. I'm not saying there's no reason to dislike them, just saying there are lots of new reasons to hate them less and/or appreciate what they are doing now.19 -
While watching season 2 of Star Trek Discovery, it was nice to learn SQL is alive and well in the 23rd century. Also, that there are still idiots that don't defend against injection on a warp-capable spaceship with transporter technology.
3 -
Dropped out to grow a business I co-founded. Respect to all those that finished. I was already working a six figure salary as a software engineer before I even started at a university. I decided to attend though to have a more complete resume. One day a professor explained that we could look forward to doing really "advanced concepts" like web services OUR SENIOR YEAR. That was already daily life for me. Our business was starting to grow quickly and it needed more and more of my time. I chose the business and for me, that was the correct choice.6
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A recent project actually taught me how HORRIBLY STUPID it is to store large bodies of text in a SQL Server database. There were millions of records with pages of compressed text each.
More and more text records pile on every single day. Needless to say it was becoming super slow and backups were taking WAY too long.
After refactoring them out as compressed files to disk storage (I love you, micro-services) and dropping them completely from the database, the backup size went from 90gb to 3gb!
It's not every day you get to see a dramatic result like that from a refactor.
Lesson learned, and yes it was quite cool.6 -
Welp, time to ditch devRant
I don't mind green dots posting the same things over and over (and let's be honest, everyone had some of those complaints when we started coding), but what's been happening lately with spam and bots is just too much.
Thanks for the ride @dfox, it's been good while it lasted. Too bad I never got a dev duck tho, they were always out of stock :(18 -
Like "Why is Facebook webpage running so slow" (I think cuz of all the tracking stuff, and they are having trouble on my Linux machine). But I gave it a naive duck-duck and found this brilliant tip to "Reinstall JavaScript" to improve that performance. I'm just so speechless rn... And the cherry on the ice-cream is the link :D
12 -
So you remember this Headless duck that found it's way into debugging? Well after a few more adventures of 3D printing, it evolved. Afew parts that never would have seen the daylight were added to his body.
Say hello to: Lt. Duckfix
3 -
- "no dad! this is my rubber duck. get your own" my daughter said.
okay.. she's 6 months old, so she can't really speak, but i could se it in her eyes.
3 -
Designing a new software product: 1000 hours
Designing a logo and picking a color scheme that pleases everyone: 689236323447876 hours1 -
Friend : “What’s a devDuck”
Me: “We’ll use it as a problem solving technique. It’s a technique where if you get stuck, you try to explain the problem to a rubber duck.”
Friend: “Because you don't have the people skills to describe it? Autism levels skyrocketing”
Me: T_T4 -
!rant
Dear dfox and trogus,
Is it possible to arrange a secret santa kind of duck gift sharing campaign once a year? Not necessary need to be a xmas campaign. We can wait until you update the shopping cart process with the feature 😬
Each user can buy ducks for other users. You can contact the recipients for the address if you don't have yet and do the delivery.25 -
Super important prospective client: Yes but can your software application do that thing?
Me: Yes, yes it can do that thing.
Prospective: Great, fantastic thank you please take my money.
Me: Awesome.
Me: *runs away to implement that thing*
Please have my tombstone read "sales-oriented software" as cause of death.3 -
Here’s one that has been the reason that I’ve not been on devRant for a while.
School counselor decides to come to me saying “Oh hey, it’s your last semester and at this rate you’re not gonna graduate bud” Why the duck couldn’t you tell me earlier?! Fine, fuck you, just give me FOUR extra online classes. ELA, Game Dev, Web Des, and Criminology. Alright, ELA and Game finished with no issue. Then comes Web.
This class is a complete piece of dog shit wrapped in HTML5 memorization hell. I don’t give a single fuck what a scrum is, or that this bitch doesn’t know how to ask her client if she can use their logo, the dumbass. How about you teach me more about actual STRUCTURE AND FUNCTION, HUH? MAYBE SOME EDUCATION THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE MEMORIZING ALL THE FUCKING HTML TAGS EVER?!
I am literally brute forcing my way through the tests. Failed? Open the lesson, close it, test reset and unlocked. Try again until you pass. Fuck this class in its miserably over complicated yet somehow over simplified existence.
Now I’m gonna go get some goddamn sleep. I’ve been at this shit for hours.6 -
Soo much fun working for a cunt as a boss:
B: We getting soo close now, the plane is coming in to land.
Me: Yes, but the engine is busy falling off
B: Well, if we miss the deadline, its only us to blame.
NO YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE CUNT, ITS YOU, ONLY YOU, 100% ENTIRELY YOU YOU SHIT FACED DUCK DICK.
Context:
We are on version 8 of our deadline, which was initially March, our next and final extension ends next Friday, we are this fucked ebcause all he fucking does is make bad descisions and pointless changes, we been telling hims once October to stop making changes if we ever want ot make the deadline.
Directly after he vommited that poes out of his mount he goes on to detail the massive change to the data structure that only needs to be changed as he refused ot listen to the developer when they told him not to do it that way 3 months ago.
How is it even possible that someone this moronic and incompitent can actualyl exist on planet earth. He is not even a flat earther.1 -
Why does CSS never work the way you'd expect? All I want to do is align something to the bottom of a div. No. Will not happen. You'd think it might be something simple as 'v-align' or 'align: bottom' or 'fucking put it at the bottom: now;'
No, it's never that simple. I try every result I can find from googling. Nothing. Simply does not work.
How about trying to keep a div to a square when you resize the page? That should be simple? height = width right? Fuck you. Ha hahah, no you have to implement some horrendous arcane hack involving fake elements and other bullshit.
You finally fix one thing and everything else you had working is now broken.
...and then some fuckwit comes along and goes "Oh, CSS isn't hard..." and it takes everything you have not to beat them to death with your rubber duck.
What the hell is wrong with CSS? It's not even programming! It's just pure, sadistic hell! FUCK CSS!!!!14 -
Thanks to Devrant I've learned about rubber duck debugging. Never heard of it before! It reminds me of a story many moons ago when I worked for a certain multinational company as a business analyst. The company brought in some consultants who basically stole the work my team was already doing on a big project (a horrendous series of spreadsheets linked to data coming from the core systems) and sold it back to the company for an insane amount of money as their idea.
When they launched the new product, the team I was in was asked to test and review it. It took my colleague ten seconds to bring the whole thing to its knees and trigger a corrupt data export back into the core systems. Bearing in mind this external company somehow managed to charge tens of thousands of pounds. So what did my colleague do? Hack the system? Some kind of complicated sabotage? Nope. He typed "FISH" into one of the spreadsheet cells! Thus the FISH test was born.
That day I learned several things: it's easy to break things with a fish; the importance of validating your input; and the satisfaction of showing up the smug bastards who stole your ideas and work.1 -
I'm a lead engineer, I design, I code, I debug, I test, I struggle, I deliver, I'm just a basic building block in my company, hardly involve in product roadmap planning. This is pretty clear in my LinkedIn profile. Jp Morgan recruiter called me for Vice president role. VP? Seriously? me skipping 4-5 levels, just with an interview process? Are you kidding me?
I asked her two times "...are you sure?", I lost my words, somehow gathered courage and asked, "what's the portfolio looks like, how many people will report to me?" Then she, calmly revealed that it's just an ic dev role and they name it that ways in their company.
What the actual ducking-duck-duckkk!
P.s. not sure about jpmc rest of the world but that's how it is in jp Morgan india.8 -
One of our existing clients who used to pay for two of our products but now only pays for one just called us. The one he canceled is a loss prevention product that tracks internal theft in stores. He canceled it because he didn't feel it was worth it.
Now, he's calling us from a police station because he's trying to press charges against one of his managers because they were presumably stealing from him.
"Hey I need to know how many times this person stole from me over the last few months and I need to know it now because I'm at the police station."
With just a few clicks that would be an easy figure to retrieve for him had he not canceled our product.
My stance is he can get lost. I don't even think he sees the irony of canceling because "it isn't worth it" and then "asap" needing the data that the "worthless" product provides. Of course, he wants it without reactivating the subscription.
Unbelievable.5 -
I'm in college now, and my mom sometimes helps me when I get stuck finding a bug in my code. She has a degree in CS, even though she barely used it, so she understands the basics. It's like a rubber duck, but better, because she can ask me questions, and answering them often leads me to the answers. She also listens to me go on and on about random topics I'm learning, even though she isn't interested... basically, she's great!7
-
Fried from working all day, not long after getting up and doing something else the itch returns.
Coding is a drug and we're all addicts. -
!rant
Friend got me a rubber giraffe because he couldn't find a rubber duck for my birthday. This is a toy for infants and it's perfect. Apart from satisfying the use case of a rubber duck for debugging, it has added features like you can chew it when you're too frustrated (coz it's made chewable for babies) and when you press it, it makes the weird peep peep noise so that you can express your glee in successfully finding and fixing a bug.
10/10 would recommend.
7 -
The last several weeks I've been coding at 100%, most all day and well into the night. Today, I just can't.
Things I have done today:
*Watched Netflix.
*Walked around outside a bit.
*Let my 18 month old daughter type all over my code
* Closed mysterious dialogs and menus daughter opened up that I couldn't open if I tried
*Watched the Mets score 10 runs on the Phillies in the top of the 5th inning
*Browsed devRant
*Stared at stuff
* Cleaned up a few thousand emails out of my inbox
* Added filters to never see them again
* Noted impending deadlines on the calendar
* Stared at more stuff
In the meantime so many more ideas have come flooding in on how to proceed with these various features I'm working on. Can't even run from work.
So, no such thing as laziness, because apparent laziness is also productive. The exhaustion becomes doubly frustrating because there's just no way to physically keep up with the breakthroughs.
I'm still just staring out the window. It's raining now. Today is done.
7 -
There was a pretty big bug that I spent all day trying to pinpoint. It was getting really late, so I called it a night and went to sleep.
That night, I dreamed that I was still at the computer, debugging. I kid you not, in the dream I both found the bug and realized what the fix needed to be. In that moment, I woke up.
I ran straight to the computer down the hall, and sure enough, that was the issue and that was the fix.
Shoutout to the capabilities of the human brain.
Thanks, brain!4 -
Oh boy how do I put it?
So I am an introvert and I have a strange question.
But first some context is needed. I am mostly nice to people not because I like every one but because I think it would only waste my time arguing with them so I just start to ignore the person I don't like. Which puts me in a strange situation where a lot of people think I am their friend where I don't care about them heck I don't know names of some.
Now because I am introvert people/friends see me as someone they could unload their secrets on (knowing I won't tell anyone (because I don't gossip(because it's waste of time) ) ). So I know almost every gossip worthy shit that I don't want to know about or don't care. Sometimes they even ask me for some relationship advice and then it seems like I am like a rubber duck for extroverted people cause at that point they kind of ask questions that clearly they want some specific answer (wich if I don't provide they will say themselves). Also it is also lame to ask me as I have never been in a relationship (I am an Indian and here somehow people seams to get in a relationship just to be in a relationship. (cause it's "modern", "forward thinking" "cool") (which I can already see will not last)). I am not against relationships but I think it's better to appreciate a friendship rather then forcing that "a girl and a boy can't be friends".
Ooh BTW the question to other introverts is if they become rubber ducks to there surrounding people?13 -
Everyone talks about their hate of js but like python is honestly just as bad.
- shitty package manager,
* need to recreate python environments to keep workflows seperate as oppose to just mapping dependencies like in maven, npm, cargo, go-get
* Can't fix python version number to project I.e specify it in requirements
- dynamic typing that gets fixed with shitty duck typing too many times
- no first class functions
- limited lambda expressions
- def def def
- overly archaic error messages, rarely have I gotten a good error message and didn't have to dive into package code to figure it out
- people still use 2.7 ... Honestly I blame the difficulty of changing versions for this. It's just not trivial to even specify another python version
- inconsistent import system. When in module use . When outside don't.
- SLOW so SLOW
- BLOCKING making things concurrent has only recently got easier, but it still needs lots of work. Like it would be nice to do
runasync some_async_fcn()
Or just running asynchronous functions on the global scope will make it know to go to some default runtime. Or heck. Just let me run it like that...
- private methods aren't really private. They just hide them in intelisense but you can still override them....
I know my username is ironic :P11 -
Developers created IDEs with intelligent code completion and languages provide users with an annotation syntax to document their methods.
And then there is Python, nuking all the efforts of our ancestors by dynamic typing. And they are smug enough to call this laziness duck typing. "If it squawks like a duck, swims like a duck, walks like a duck its a duck".
Shit no, it ain't a duck because a fucking goose does all the same but is a mean bastard compared to a duck. You might pet a duck but only the craziest will attempt to pet a goose.
Fuck python and undocumented methods in particular!5 -
I live in the USA. Recently moved to a new state. Contacted car insurance company to change my policy to the new state.
Upon doing so, I was told about a new program they have where you install an app on your phone that monitors your driving. It gives discounts to your premium for driving safely.
Intrigued, I decided to try it out. At the end of the month, my discount was TWO DOLLARS.
Uninstalled, not worth the surrender of personal information that they profit off of in addition to my premium payments as well as the drained battery every day.
Disillusioned, again.
Has anyone else had experiences with similar discount programs, and was it worth it for you? Maybe I’m just a shitty driver ;).17 -
Same days you just need a duck.
Me: map.get(record.Id)
Code: null
Me: no, map.get(record.id)
Code: null
Me: let's grab this record from the map
Code: null
Me: what the flying fuck, take this fucking ID from this fucking RECORD and find it in THIS god forsaken map.
Code: null
Me:.......
Code: 😉
Duck: did it occur to you the ID exists only AFTER the map is created.
Me: you fucking wha..... oh I'm a dick head.7 -
Python. Ok, so it's a really cool language, as a scripting language it's awesome, quick to write.
When it's been used to make full fledged oop programs that you suddenly have to maintain things like duck typing become problematic. Looking at an object fuck knows what methods are available. Worse still when some bastard that thinks he's being clever doesn't bother declaring any object attributes and instead overrides the __set_attr method to dynamically add them as they are used there is no hope for the poor sod that has to maintain it later.
I've also now worked out I'm at least the 3rd person having been given the task of maintaining it, i spent a day changing CLI options wondering why they didn't do anything but occasionally crash the app. I've now found a few thousand lines deep that someone had hard-coded these values because they couldn't work out where to get the CLI args from!
I've gained a new appreciation for nominative, strictly typed languages.11 -
Motherfuckin fuckidy duck fuck!
I am so done with Azure for today!
After I ran out of space on a secondary drive I shut the VM down and increased said drive and now after starting it (which takes way too long already) I can't ssh into it: "Connection refused". Diagnostics say "everything is fine bruh" and now I'm stuck with an inaccessible VM which I already spent half the night on configuring and downloading 60gb of sources.. aaargh!7 -
To all "StackOverflow is BAD" ranters - give link or don't post. And even before, please read
http://rtfm.cz/smart-questions.html...
Facebook/Instagram era taught people that it's easier to just ask question gazzylion of times before doing research / using search (even "site:stackoverflow.com" search)
I do rarely post on SO just because in 99% of cases I find solution when preparing my question during research or due to yellow duck effect.
When I got qualified to do reviews on questions I started to see how often they are so abroad or so primitive than 10min of duckduckgoing would solve it. But no, it's easier to use other people for you.5 -
One of the first things I learned while screwing around in Linux for the first time was the calendar in the terminal. I never thought I'd have an actual use for cal, and it just sat in the back of my mind for a year.
Then, two weeks ago, I needed to find the date for a saturday in December, because I thought it was the seventh. My duck was like "Hey, your terminal is right there, why not use that cal function instead of looking for your calendar?" And I was like "Dude, that's genius!"
I have since done it thrice more for various reasons, and it has saved me like four minutes in total. I love all the little things like this in Linux (I'm pretty sure Windows and obviously MacOS do the same thing with practically the same command, but shut up and let me enjoy myself (and it just feels more accessable in Linux because I use the terminal so much more often))
So yeah
Stuff
God I need something to do...
Wait! I have several things to do! The first one will be making a list of all my projects.
Or spending another two hours on devRant.1 -
I feel lonely on my way back to home. I am a bit depressed while listening to the song "Alone" by Alan Walker. Because I code alone all day and I am single. There is a shop in my neighbourhood. It has its light turned on this night, perhaps just to increase its exposure. But, there is something so shiny that caught my attention. It is a smiling duck. I don't know what the duck is doing right there. I havent seen it before. But the shop is closed now.
At this moment, I realize it could be my friend when I don't have a friend.
4 -
Not really rubber, but he's my duck.
He's literally one year younger than me so it makes it quite special.
I really like him 😄
6 -
So couple of days ago I've told you that I've made an Duck Hunt Easter Egg in one of my utilities. And @jiraTicket asked me:
"How on earth do you get a decent gameplay out of Duck Hunt without a Nintendo lightning gun?"
Well the answer is..:
Connecting Leap Motion and making them suffer..
P.s. It took me a loooong time to hit that duck with this controller=))))
-
Another incident which made a Security Researcher cry
[ NOTE : Check profile to read older incidents ]
-----------------------------------------------------------
So this all started when I was at my home (bunked the office that day xD) and I got a call from a..... Let's call him Fella as I always do . So here we go . And yeah , our Fella is a SysAdmin .
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fella - Hey man sup!
Me - Good going mate , bunked the office , weather's nice , gonna spend time with my girl today . So what's goinon?
Fella - Bruh my network sharing folders ain't working no more .
Me - Did you changed or modified anything?
Fella - Nope
Me - Okay , gimme your login creds lemme check .
Fella - Check your inbox *texts me the credentials*
*I logged in and what I'm seeing is that server runs on Windows2008R2 , checked the event logs , everything's fine and all of a sudden what I found is fucking embarrassing , this wise man closed SMB service*
Me - Did you closed SMB service?
Fella - Yeah
Me - You know what it does?
Fella - Yeah it's a protocol , I turned it off to protect the server from Wannacry .
Me - Fuckerrrr!!!!! Asshole dumbass you fuckin piece of Dodo's shit!! SMB is the service responsible for files and network sharing!!!
Fella - But....I just wanted protection
Me - 😭😭😭
*A long conversation continues with a lot of specially made words to decrease the rate of frustration which I used already*
Fella - Okay I'm turning it on .
Me - Go on....... Asshole
Fella - It worked! Thanks a lot bro
Me - Just leave me and my soul away from evil and hang up .
*Now the question is , who the hell gives them the post of SysAdmin? While thinking this question , I almost thought of committing suicide but then my girl came with coffee and my rubber duck*1 -
Just received a job résumé for a software engineer position. The very first skill listed:
MS Word.7 -
I am the manager of a customer service team of about 10-12 members. Most of the team members are right out of school and this is their first professional job and their ages range from 22-24. I am about 10 years older than all of my employees. We have a great team and great working relationships. They all do great work and we have established a great team culture.
Well, a couple of months ago, I noticed something odd that my team (and other employees in the building) started doing. They would see each other in the hallways or break room and say “quack quack” like a duck. I assumed this was an inside joke and thought nothing of it and wrote it off as playful silliness or thought I perhaps missed a moment in a recent movie or TV show to which the quacks were referring.
Fast forward a few months. I needed to do some printing and our printer is in a room that can be locked by anyone when it is in use (our team often has large volumes of printing they need to do and it helps to be able to sort things in there by yourself, as multiple people can get their pages mixed up and it turns into a mess). The door had been locked the entire day and this was around noon, and the manager I have the key to the door in case someone forgot to unlock it when they left. I walked in, and there were two of my employees on the couch in the copier room having sex. I immediately closed the door and left.
This was last week and as you can imagine things are very awkward between the three of us. I haven’t addressed the situation yet because of a few factors: This was during both of their lunch hours. They were not doing this on the clock (they had both clocked out, I immediately checked). We have an understanding that you can go or do anything on your lunch that you want, as long as you’re back after an hour. Also, as you mentioned in your answer last week to the person who overheard their coworker involved in “adult activities,” these people are adults and old enough to make their own choices.
But that’s not the end of the story. That same day, after my team had left, I was wrapping up and putting a meeting agenda on each of their desks for our meeting the next day. Out in broad daylight on the guys desk (one of the employees I had caught in the printing room) was a piece of paper at the top that said “Duck Club.” Underneath it, it had a list of locations of places in and around the office followed by “points.” 25 points – president’s desk, 10 points – car in the parking lot, 20 points – copier room, etc.
So here is my theory about what is going on (and I think I am right). This “Duck Club” is a club people at work where people get “points” for having sex in these locations around the office. I think that is also where the quacking comes into play. Perhaps this is some weird mating call between members to let them know they want to get some “points” with the other person, and if they quack back, they meet up somewhere to “score.” The two I caught in the copier room I have heard “quacking” before.
I know this is all extremely weird. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to write you because of how weird this seems (plus I was a little embarrassed). I have no idea what to do. As I mentioned above, they weren’t on the clock when this happened, they’re all adults, and technically I broke a rule by entering the copier room when it was locked, and would have never caught them if I had obeyed that rule. The only company rule I can think of that these two broke is using the copier room for other purposes, preventing someone else from using it.
I would love to know your opinion on this. I tend to want to sweep it under the rug because I’m kind of a shy person and would be extremely embarrassed to bring it up.21 -
When I get stuck I usually try a variant of the duck method. I find someone not involved the project and explain my problem to them. I always figure it out before I finish explaining3
-
Time for a soap box rant.
I just found this in one of our projects. I've simplified the example to make it more anonymous.
When I see code like this it automatically means there is a lack of attention to enumerations and/or understanding of what they are.
One may argue that in a certain execution of code it's a minor performance hit and therefore insignificant. It's still a performance hit. Furthermore, it takes even less time to do it the right way than it does to do it the wrong way.
Every one of these lines will enumerate the list from the beginning to try and find that one element you're interested in. Big O notation, people.
Throw that crap into a dictionary or hashset or similarly applicable data structure with direct reads at the beginning of your logic so that it only gets enumerated ONCE when the data structure instance is created. Then access it however many times you want.
Soap box rant over.
15 -
conversation between me and coworker via slack:
me: why ffs does this class extend this class. Calling it as a static?
me: it's called as a static exclusively throughout the entire project. shouldn't it be moved to a core singleton class?
me: yup, moving it to core
me: thanks for being my rubber duck
-
@dfox @trogus
Wait?
Does the devrant face thing have a name?
I have been calling my stress ball Devin when I use it to rubber duck debug.
Devin, developer, devrant...
I know, home run.😅7 -
8.5 hours spent trying to figure out a race condition ultimately caused by this line.
There really are no words.
11 -
OK I've just got an idea that I think would be quite neat:
How about a virtual rubber duck that sits in the corner of your editor? Just like the gem in old Word, if you remember. It's yellow and quacks sometimes, and nods understandingly when you talk to it (mic monitoring).
And it also monitors your typing and says (popup text bubble) things like:
"those parentheses doesn't look balanced to me"
"did you really initialize that variable?"
"you wrote JASON again"
"you forgot the ;"
You get the point.
I don't have time to implement, feel free to steal my idea and become a millionaire.5 -
So, I was shopping with @terrus and we found this lost duck in the bakery shelf. We felt it was a call of fate... Obviously, we bought two of them 🦆🦆❤️
2 -
A rubber duck plugin for all ide that reminds the programer to drink water ( I usually forget to drink water while coding) and more than a few errors it should pop up automatically1
-
The reason I stick around at my current job is thanks to a mentor who has helped me reach greater potential.
He's our senior architect.
It began with him simply bouncing ideas off me. I was a rubber duck basically. After a while I began to understand these ideas. All sorts of design patterns, cache invalidation problems and solutions, and so much more.
It was almost as if through osmosis that I began to research things and learn more and more about topics I had only barely seen in high-level articles and papers.
Once I began to contribute to the discussion, he helped foster that. I went from being a rubber duck to a protege.
My pay here isn't what it should be. The problems we're faced with are stressful and often times wear me out. I stay because I'm self-taught and I yearn for learning as I always have.
This isn't just my job, but my passion. I love what I do, and I get up happy to come here every day knowing I'll learn something new while doing what I love.1 -
Around 11:30pm I honestly thought I was about done, but a series of production issues has kept me up until 4:30am. Solving one revealed another, and so on.
Finally, all is quiet.
Goodnight World.4 -
!rant
Hahahaha just typed "teste" (Portuguese for test) in duck duck go and it showed me a picture of testicles ( I guess...) With huge "Testicle" written above it in the middle of the office hahahaha
Hope no one saw that, it was funny.1 -
Small feature request, but I think it would be cool if you guys could add some devducks with colored capes as well as keep the classic yellow duck as an option inside Desk Items (L).
I know its impractical to add text for obvious readability issues, but I think the base color of the actual capes would be cool, you know to match your current devduck irl :) Maybe keep the classic duck at +100 and have a higher ++ for the devducks with capes? Anyways, I'll just leave this here...
@dfox @trogus
DevDuck Cape Colors:
#222242 // Purple
#b22028 // Red
#f4f6f9 // White
#f4753e // Orange
#171615 // Black
#3a6894 // Blue
3 -
!rant
I promised myself I wouldnt cry but ... nah I wont.
So I got the job and today was my first day of work, well not precisely work but introduction to the cultuure of the place, signing tons of paper, I probably sold my soul but who cares?, and I met my team, so far everything seems cool, except tthat I will be using windows and wont be able to use any streaming websites or services (yt, spotify, deezer, etc) yes I know, there are ways around it, but come on guys I dont wanna start screwing my first week of work, anyway everything is cool, even the food is tasty there iis only one thing left, my workspace Im an extremely bad decorator so I need ur help, (and yes I know i have to have a duck and a devrant stressball) but apart from that guys and gals, any ideas? So far ive thought about a debugging body, a lava lamp and an extra monitor.15 -
I present to you the rubber duck I use for debugging.
that's right I dont have one. I just to talk to myself really. but what's curious is that when I do this, I tend to cock my head to a side, or turn slightly in my chair as if I was talking to someone just behind me. I didnt realize I was doing this until my cousin pointed it out to me coz it was creeping her out.
let me also mention that I used to have an imaginary friend growing up. his name's Jesse. I dont know if it really is just a weird mannerism or maybe I was still subconsciously talking to him.
3 -
TL;DR: Google asked me to PROVIDE a phone number to verify connection from a new device, on the said device.
Yesterdayto log into my work Google account from my personal laptop to check emails, calendars update and so on. I opened up a private navigation window, went to Google sign-in page, entered my credentials, all is well.
Google then decided to "verify it's me" and prompted me to PROVIDE a phone number (work account without work phone means no phone number set up) so that they can send a verification code to the number I just provided to make sure the connection is legit.
Didn't want to do that, clicked "use another method" and got asked to fill the last password I remember, which would be my current password thanks to my trusty password manager. After submitting, I'm prompted with an error saying I have to contact my admin to reset my password because they can't log me in with my CURRENT password.
I ain't gonna do that, so went back to login page, provided my phone number, got the code, filled in the code, next thing I know I'm browsing through my emails.
What the duck? Could have been anybody giving any phone number. So much for extra security.
Also don't care that they have my phone number, the issue is more about the way used to obtain it: locking me out of my account and having no other way of logging in.6 -
I built a chrome extension that brings a digital rubber duck to your browser for debugging, companionship and laughs - the perfect companion for a dev. :)
The logo was inspired from Devrant's ducks too, and the project is open source.
You'll find the GitHub repo here - https://github.com/rameshaditya/...
Do give it a star if you like it, that would make my day! :)3 -
I have come across the most frustrating error i have ever dealt with.
Im trying to parse an XML doc and I keep getting UnauthorizedAccessException when trying to load the doc. I have full permissions to the directory and file, its not read only, i cant see anything immediately wrong as to why i wouldnt be able to access the file.
I searched around for hours yesterday trying a bunch of different solutions that helped other people, none of them working for me.
I post my issue on StackOverflow yesterday with some details, hoping for some help or a "youre an idiot, Its because of this" type of comment but NO.
No answers.
This is the first time Ive really needed help with something, and the first time i havent gotten any response to a post.
Do i keep trying to fix this before the deadline on Sunday? Do i say fuck it and rewrite the xml in C# to meet my needs? Is there another option that i dont even know about yet?
I need a dev duck of some sort :/39 -
Had a scheduled call to interview a dev contractor. He told us any typing noise we hear is just him taking notes. Ok. After several questions the long awkward pauses, typing and furious mouse wheels make it evident he's a liar and looking up answers.
Still managed to tank the interview and wasted our time.
I sure hope that wasn't one of you guys.3 -
My setup: AMD Phenom-2 1100T with fat cooler for silent PC, 16 GB ECC RAM, AMD Radeon HD-6850 passively cooled, WD Blue 1 TB HDD. One 22 inch monitor with 1650 x 1050.
The mouse is a bit broken because the click switch under the mouse wheel doesn't work anymore. The empty bottle in front of the PC is necessary for lying on the room light switch, or else it won't work. And the black/yellow tape is a fix for the worn out seat cover.
But the best, under the monitor, is the little green troll that serves as rubber duck.
-
I recently accepted my first "real" Dev position. This has been a huge hurdle for me.
So my degree is in graphic design and it's pretty much what I spent the first 2-3 years after university doing. In fact, when I started at the place I am now (I am still working my notice) I was hired as a creative artworker.
I had always had a website I put together with some basic frontend skills, but always assumed the backend stuff was "beyond me". But, given the option here, I asked to be sent on a PHP course. Holy shit I took to it like a duck to water. Over the next few months I got my feet wet building a new website for the company, building out a little intranet, all that good stuff. I went from procedural spaghetti monstrosities to nice, OOP, documented code. It was beautiful. And no one here really have a fuck.
About 6 months ago, I started trying to leave. This was hard. I actually had several interviews for design positions, but always got turned down for some variation of "you're very technical and we think you'd get bored here" and thank god really, because they're right. I could never get a look in for Dev jobs though, because on paper I had no experience, hell my job title was still "Digital Designer" despite over a year of developing here.
But it finally happened. Through someone I used to know I got my foot in the door for a developer position. In the interview they even told me if it was a junior position they'd hire me on the spot - but sadly it wasn't. I had a good time though, a good laugh, and had a lot of fun finally, for the first time in my life, "working" and talking with other developers.
Over the next couple of weeks the agent kept telling me I had done really well and they were just dragging their feet getting things sorted, but I gave up hope a little. So imagine my surprise when I found out they turned the role into a junior one for me!
And so now, I get to go to a job where my job title includes the word "Developer". To some of you that might not mean much, but to me it's a fucking medal I wish I could mount on a plaque on my wall.4 -
You know what, let me jump in on the "I hate PHP" bandwagon.
A couple months ago I upgraded my mail servers unattended. Roundcube got fucked for a couple of months, and I figured.. fuck it, I can still use Dovecot for authenticating with desktop mail clients like K-9.
Recently I unfucked it, turns out that it was an issue with the sock file in php-fpm. That's also when I noticed that PHP apparently hardcodes in its current version in the bloody socket file. Because why the fuck wouldn't you? It makes upgrades so much fucking easier!!! Said no fucking sysadmin ever!!!
And today I upgraded one of my mail servers to Ubuntu Server 18.04, finally, after a lot of hesitation. Bad decision, because now PHP got fucked YET AGAIN.
Again an issue with socket files? I have no fucking idea. systemctl shows no failed services (because you know PHP, why would you fail your service with an error message instead of throwing a meaningless 502 Bad Gateway, right?!!) and looking at the config files, well the socket file got its new php-fpm 7.2 file (still got the fucking version number hardcoded in) and thus I changed that socket file location in /etc/php/7.0...
devRant may just have been my rubber duck.
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU STINKING FUCKING PILE OF SHIT CALLED FUCKING PHP KEEP THE FUCKING 7.0 DIRECTORY OUT THERE WHEN YOU'VE UPGRADED, WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THE FUCKING BALLS TO RENAME THE MOTHERFUCKING DIRECTORY TO 7.2, IF YOU'RE GOING TO HARDCODE IN YOUR VERSION NUMBERS ANYWAY?!!!!!
Bloody fucking pile of fucking junk!!!!18 -
Remember how my course paper used a de duck image?
Asked the writer about it, apparently he wasn't aware of devRant and that devducks were a thing (he did know about rubber duck debugging).
He just took the image from Google and after I explained they were real he ordered a couple :D4 -
Omg, delegation to others feels like the last, most difficult skill to master. Letting go can be so hard.
Patience, me. Patience.3 -
Hours lost.
Visual Studio test adapter was failing out during the discover phase of the tests with a stack overflow exception, but that's all the information it gave me. The tests simply would not run.
Hunting through the code line by line, I eventually find this.
WHY IS THIS ALLOWED TO COMPILE
4 -
Not a rant because life is fucking amazing... but..
I deleted my Facebook account. I can't fucking believe it. I have a bagazillion people following me and my booze fuled horseshit rants, photos of hamburgers and cats.
I fucking did it.
Ducking duck!6 -
I have an Android phone. Pixel 2 to be exact, and I love it. Many family members and friends of mine have iPhones. To each their own.
Having said that, I absolutely HAAAATE the stupid iPhone feature that lets users react to text messages. Today all those iPhone users added me to literally 5 different SMS groups (which by themselves are their own sin), chatting up a storm all evening. I already hate group texts, please, leave me alone. But it gets so much worse when my phone blows up with twice as many messages because so-and-so "liked" this message, and so-and-so "laughed" at that message. It sends you their chosen verb alongside the ENTIRE original text AGAIN.
Such a stupid feature, leave Facebook on Facebook, why the hell do text messages need reactions? I don't give a shit that you liked or laughed or loved that so and so said they will be there at 9 o clock.
At least i have the ability to mute notifications for each group otherwise I'd be replying to every group text I get with a trolling big trigger item or something super inappropriate until they stop. Don't want this to continue? Stop group texting me, stop reacting to texts, and don't do it again.9 -
I used to collect rubber ducks back in college. I was absolutely crazy about it and tried getting my hands on almost all different types available like the Punk duck, the Pirate duck, the Weed duck....and so on.
I met this girl who was into the same thing and we ended up banding together to create a sort of webpage where we'd write crazy and hilarious origin stories for each of these ducks. We'd go to great lengths to create ridiculous comic book style encounters between them and had a lot of fun doing it.
We dated for a while but it didn't last.2 -
Holy duck, I lost two days on a convolutional autoencoder splitted in two separate neural networks to encode and decode separately, it reconstruction had some strange behaviours. I was giving as input an image and then saving the encoded compressed representation in a new image, in this way I could decode it with the decoder whenever I want saving space.
How much retarded am I?
The internal layer's weights hadn't constraints so in learning phase the convolutional filters can contain any number, positive > 255 or even negative and I cannot save it in a new image as they are so they were clipped automatically between 0 and 255 with an huge information loss.
It's so frustrating when you rewrite the code in any possible way, you obtain the same wrong result and then you realize that was a borderline behaviour of a third part library.1 -
I'm lazy as 🦆 duck
e.g
If I want to implement a new functionality I'll just look for a library for it, rather writing it from scratch5 -
devRant community!! My little brother brought me my rubber duck!! (it's not reeaaally a duck.. it's more like a watermelon, and it's name is "senor Sandia"!)
I've lost it a couple of months ago.. but NOW I CAN BECOME AN AWSOME CODER AGAIN!! (or just keep trying.. xD)
sorry, but I had to share it with you!
5 -
*coding, furiously, to sweet tunes*
*awesome new song comes on I haven't heard before*
*30 seconds in, saves to playlist*
*Song continues playing*
*....Removes from playlist*2 -
I've been using DDG now for quite a while and as most of you that did too, I enjoyed it for most of the ride, though me and many others that I recommended the duck to, had themselves using the "!g" bang much more than it was worth to be using DDG.
It's amazing for "most" things, like a quick search and especially code related questions, thanks to the stackoverflow embeds, but it still sucks at search results for those other searches.
Just recently I've hit startpage again, they were quite awkward to use imho in the past, but they did an entire redesign and have added advanced options which are nearly non existent in google anymore without knowing the secret konami code to access e.g. "in-title".
So now I am switching between DDG and Startpage and thought I'd share, because finally there's a proper way to ditch google (except if you want some very localized results or use a lot googles in results math {which DDG can too, just not startpage}).
It easily integrates into most browsers too and on android you can just make use of the custom search engine adding in firefox mobile.
Qwant was another option I thought to use, but startpage simply proxies the google results, which were literally the fallback issue for so long - Qwant iirc runs their own and also is often times pretty laggy on mobile from my testing.
https://www.startpage.com/
-
Created utility for installers..
Easter Egg:
Pressing Ctrl+Alt+D opens a new window with Duck Hunt game in it..
Did this about 6 month ago.. Used it today myself.. got stuck for an hour..
3 -
Yes, I have to admit, sometimes Linux is a F*KING B*TCH.
I was supposed to fucking format a pc for a close friend of mine, cause he produces music and win 10 fucked his machine up with its broken updates.
Knowing the guy is a talent I promised that by 7PM the pc would be fixed.
Not really, I'm feeling the stupidest guy in this fucking earth, cause I've been here for 2 hours, fucking trying to extract an ISO image, and nothing on this fucking planet seems to work.
Tried the graphical archives, none open de ISO, tried 7z, it gives me an error, tried fuseiso, which is recommended in Arch Linux' documentations. Doesn't work. Tried mount - o my file.iso /mnt and it says /mnt isn't in the fstab file which makes me even angrier cause I always mount everything there without editing shit. So I installed 7-zip for windows in wine, it extracts until 90% and freezes. Now I'm trying hsuebrirbwkwpxjhw9shrbejejwke and my mouth is foaming and my ear is bleeding my brains out and I don't need you shit.
Fuck you, Fuck your goddamn ISO and Fuck this faggot ass spell checker, that changes Fuck to duck and assign to asset.
Fuck it, I ain't gonna format anyones pm anymore.
18 -
Just came across this gem. What's wrong with it??
Yes, the threat of SQL injection here is a legit response, but in this particular case that's not the answer I'm looking for.
Hint: This method gets called a lot!
15 -
So... do you actually talk to a dev duck like you would to a normal person, or do you just imagine talking to it?8
-
[NSFW]
What are the odds of a game studio's co-founder starring a R18 decensoring GitHub repo? Welp. Today one did. And I saw because I found his GitHub after Googling (I switched to Duck in September). Welp. This is gonna be embarrassing for the guy. Whoops.
Repo is DeepCreamPy btw if you're interested in "researching how it works".5 -
I'm curious to know how lucrative it is for the people operating those 0-points accounts to post spam comments on this kind of a platform. I don't know the exact numbers of course but I have to think looking for change in your couch cushions is a better return on investment.6
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I haven't been here for a long while but I wanted to peek in because of the dev ducks, cause I thought they would be a great gift for someone and now I found out they're sold out - my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
But now I decided I'm just gonna buy. a rubber duck and DIY it.1 -
I'd like to share with you guys the fact that I had one of the greatest Christmases ever!
This includes having randomly received this debugging duck from someone that had no idea what it would mean to me, but also meeting people who brought 4 dogs to the family reunion (I am absolutely in love with dogs)
1 -
Ah, the little subtle things we have to iron out as we progress from Junior Developer to Medior Developer.. things like:
- knowing the difference between a carriage return and a line feed (although having worked with analog typewriters helps) and later knowing that Unix-based systems and Windows NT-based systems implement it differently..
- knowing that serialization is important because not all computers interpret data the same way and some computers allocate 4 Bytes for a construct, others 16 Bytes.. and then we get the funkiness of transferring character sets between machines..
- knowing that a whitespace character is not only an actual space (as is known in ASCII as code 32). This one can cause even medior developers a headache, as in: why the fuck does this string function say that "hello I am a duck" and "hello I am a duck" are not the same?! Turns out then in the debugger that when you expand every character in the string you see that string1 contains 32 32 32 32 as usual.. but then string2 contains -96 -96 -96 -96 and you're like.. what the fuck..? Then you know you have to throw \\h regex at it. Haha.
- finalizing our objects and streams (although modern languages do that for us).. otherwise we have to do funky shit like trying to find what's locking a file, which is not so easy to figure out.
- figuring out why something won't work often requires you to not only break down the problem in smaller steps, to use a debugger, but sometimes it's even better to just create a proof of concept, slap some minimal code in there and debug that.. much easier.
- etc.
:)7 -
I was flash developer once, it was great when macromedia was around, then adobe acquired them, now flash is gone.
Years are passing and most of industry is the same as always. Trying to drag you into this rat race of learning new amazing technologies, amazing projects that are actually doing same job as 50 years ago but using more memory and cpu cycles. Because all has it’s roots in algorithms from previous centuries.
So youngsters loose your best life time, be innovative by doing nothing more then copy paste from stackoverflow and duck typing shitty code.
Be a slave and sit in the amazing office, that has everything but not your real life that meanwhile is sucked by corporate squeezer till your last breath.
Be piece of shit that can be kicked around.
Watch youtube, facebook, instagram or whatever social network that shows you pictures that are fooling your mind that you’re someone special and you need this stuff.
Then be ready to suck some dicks to earn money and buy stuff you don’t need, live where you don’t want and do what you don’t like. You piece of shit.
Well that’s what disappoints me from my tech stack.
Now chill out, turn off your electronic gadgets, go out and enjoy real world.1 -
So random thought.
How many ducks do @dfox and @trogus have laying around their houses?
I was just looking through the store, adding a duck and a stress ball and maybe a hoodie to my cart. I then realized that each item has a real photo or two attached to it.5 -
Well, so I finally got 200 ++s, and now I can finally...
Wear vests! Uh... so that's cool... XD
Anyway, I just wanted to thank everybody for being such a good sport, around here... I've not been here for a long time, but I already feel like a part of a big family, of developers (and, why not, also non-developers...), and that makes me so happy.
In the end, devRant is like one of those rubber ducks developers use to tell things, I guess, lol.
It's just that. devRant is a rubber duck.
And every one of us is making that rubber duck bigger, and bigger, into something so unique and cool...
Something you can talk to (or rant to, I guess haha), something you can express all of your feelings to...
And inside of that rubber duckie there are... all of us. Hearing these rants from developers all around the world.
In the end it's really the community the most important part of... every thing or project, really, whatever it is, online or offline.
Keep on ranting about whatever you want, if you feel the need to...
I hope to hear more about all of you.
Thank you, all of you. I mean it.
Especially you two, who made it possible, @dfox and @trogus.
...devRant is such a cool project.
I sincerely hope it lives forever, it deserves it. You deserve it.
Again, thank you!
I love you all, good devRanting! 💙
8 -
During the summer I was part of a three person brand new software team. One of my co-workers had a rubber duck, and explained rubber duck debugging. I brought in my own duck and it turned out to be identical to hers. On the last day I left my duck there with my other co-worker, so now they will both have ducks to talk to when nothing works! 🐤🚫🐛4
-
Got a rubber duck for christmas, and it reflects my personality perfectly. Some mean debugging ahead... *mwahahaa*
5 -
Did anyone else follow the epic duck twitter battle between museums around the world?
Seems it was started by The MERL: https://twitter.com/TheMERL/status/...
A nice summary: https://mashable.com/article/...
I agree completely with the one tweeted response in the link above:
"Honestly seeing museums flex over ducks in their collection is the kind of energy I want from 2019" (https://mobile.twitter.com/hannahke...)
-
I just spent an hour troubleshooting an error message which I perceived to have some kind of abstract meaning.
Overthinking idiot, it couldn't have been more literal.
After the fix to one stupid line, I quietly watch that hour of my life sail away on a sad river of anguish, never to return again.3 -
I always feel like a fool when I accidentally rubber duck someone - at least when I do it on purpose I've warned them first! What often happens though is I ask a question I think I need the answer to and then make the connection while they're trying to help me5
-
I was wondering why it had a duck when I use python, was thinking maybe it is a font issue .. which I ignored for months.
Today I say the tongue.
2 -
I gotta say, the shirt is very soft at first impression. Plus FREE STICKERS!!!
The duck is nice............ oh meh gurd it sqweaks!!!!! (Follow up on it soon)
Altogether very pleased. :)
*yey*
6 -
Fuck my life!!! Fuck it right hard!!! My fucking compiler (the one I code) fucking broke down, and i have to put it to competition it two weeks... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck: obviously Iost backup and gitHub doesnt seem like wanting to give me that version back... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck!!!!5
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I'm writing a devrant like site, so a kind of forum that supports live chat under every article. Login will be just username and password to stay anonymous. Email is optional for password reset. Also it won't have password requirements. Who cares if user uses insecure password. I do like the devrant avatar thing. I will use the ducky generator instead. So everyone on the site is a custom duck. K-SASS prolly never expected his generator to be used anywhere. The requirement of this site is that it scales very well. I have db calls of 0.006s, this is for persistent data only and will be used by all site instances. I expect that it can handle many clients concurrent as long I do not return more than 30 rows or so. Events get handled by a self written pubsub server.
All sounds great and development goes fine. But why is this a rant? Because the same thing as always is biting me, I can't design a site at all. I know how but I don't have any feeling for design at all making me almost incapable of building an attractive site. The only thing I can 'design' is an application in bootstrap or smth. I spend so much time one design while I don't like to do it ironically. But looks of site is almost as important as an good working site. Good working site doesn't get used if looks bad in many casee. This is since the start of my career an issue and it sucks that I appearantly can't deliver a whole site on my own meeting my standards.
My backend work is top notch tho. Btw, this application is not to be an alternative for devrant. I do not think I can attract more users than it already has and I've seen two communities disappearing once because someone decided to make a new one, took half of community with him and both communities died after short while.
End product of this project is a working project, not a live site hosted somewhere. It's pure about mixing mostly self written tech to get the best performance. Reinventing wheel on many levels. I wanted maybe to do the site in C but decided that it's way to much work for the value. I change the site so rapid since I don't have decent plan that python aiohttp is the best choice in amount of writing it yourself and fast. It's very lightweight.
More a story than a rant, sorry29 -
It’s my “duck” in a box!
https://g.co/kgs/dbFrcE
Would have paid extra for the DevRant devs to sign my duck 😂 @dfox and @trogus.
Thanks for keeping new and exciting things compiling in the community, I think I speak for everyone when I say that we’re lucky and proud to be apart of it!5 -
[serious] I'm a Windows guy. Been so my whole life. devRant community, I'd like to start playing around with Linux. As someone who has never done that before, where should I start? We're talking total noob. Thanks in advance.8
-
Every time I talk about a bug/error in my code with my colleague, I end up coming up with the fix myself while explaining it. I accidentally use him as my rubber duck...3
-
I have noticed I have had great success using another co-worker as a metaphorical rubber duck (sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally). It improves my productivity vastly. However, I know that it probably distracts others when I am using them in that way.
That's why I want to buy a literal rubber duck and talk to it. I could do it very quietly and most of my close co-workers use noise-cancelling headphones 80% of time while sitting at their desks. My only concern is other people passing by my desk would think that I am weird. My desk is in an open space and several people pass by it every hour. (however on my floor besides developers we have HR, marketing and people from high up who might be unfamiliar with the rubber duck method).
Is it unprofessional to talk to a rubber duck at the office?4 -
Couldn't remember my password that I have been using several times a day for the past year. I even used it today, but could not consciously remember the code.
So I am going to post it here so I can look it up if I need to: 12345
Notice: This is a private message only to be shared with the intended recipient. You must disavow any knowledge. When asked about this message you will spontaneously squawk like a duck. You have been thoroughly disclaimed.2 -
Notifications are not being sent from github to slack. Ok. Looks like that legacy slack github integration that has been telling us its no longer supported for months has finally been deactivated.
Fine. I'll cave and upgrade all 45 of our repos to the new integration.
Thousands of clicks later, finally done.
*but wait*
"Notifications still don't work?"
That's when I saw this notice on github.
FML I want my hour back.
3 -
People here working your own business or side hustle:
1) How long have you been doing it?
2) What kind of tech stack do you use in your product(s)?
3) Are you happy with your business endeavor or has the grass become greener elsewhere?
4) What is the most important thing you have learned from it that you wish you knew when you began?2 -
I’ve somehow ended up in a situation where I have a big project to work on - alone, since I’m the only dev in the whole company with any expertise whatsoever in that area… which is exhausting enough by itself, since I have nowhere to turn to when I struggle with it, no one to rubber duck with and share the workload with, no one to review my code. On top of that, I’ve somehow become thee go to dev resource when it comes to this integration, that client’s custom shit and so on. I’ve been doing this big damn project since late August, and I keep getting pulled off it for weeks at a time. I think I haven’t had more than a day or two in a row to concentrate on it for at least 3 months… and my manager keeps asking me when it’ll be done. What I’d give for a few more devs to share the workload with…2
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Spent all day refactoring lots of confusing code down to just a few lines. I am satisfied, frustrated and drained all at the same time.2
-
Not exactly vacation, but there was this nice-to-have feature in our application that I coded up in the hospital after my wife gave birth to our son. I wrote it during the downtime while they were both sleeping.3
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On C++ forum and see reference to Type Erasure (TE). Search around, some Java shit bleeding into other programming languages. Finally find an article that not only explains what TE is, but why you would use it in C++. ITS JUST FUCKING DUCK TYPING. Please stop using stupid names for stuff. You don't sound smarter. You sound like an asshole. Anyway, thinking about it does make sense to call it Type Erasure, but I still think it sounds pretentious. Cool concept, stupid name. Will continue to confuse people saying: "oh, you mean duck typing?"
Cool article:
https://davekilian.com/cpp-type-era...
The wikipedia article about TE doesn't explain shit about why you would even use it. Just repeats the same word salad of words I first saw about TE. I get that its jargon, but from the outside it just sounds like bullshit. I have never heard anyone I work with spew out shit like that. Even the ones with masters degrees in computer science.
I am not even sure I want to learn more about CS than what keeps me employed. I don't want to sound like this when I talk. I have already said shit in meetings about modern C++ that has colleagues (other sparkies, and some CS people) wondering what I was smoking. It wasn't even that jargony.
Don't mind me, just a sparky starting to understand why the CS world is so fucked. Maybe its just academia I can't stand. I dunno.
I should ask in a meeting if someone can define a monad for me.21 -
Who the duck designed the common app interface? It's bloody awful just straight up awful. Why do you have to click out and then click back in to delete your previous search? Like wtf. Also when they ask for parents' country of birth but it isn't on the drop-down lousy because it didn't exist. It just looks like some lazy programmers did the bars minimum not caring about how it'd look or be to use because yknow duck that. Wow ok I'm done.1
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Captains Log:
Day 2 of trying to get SQL database to work with JDBC application.
I've built a try/catch method and it throws up the message that IntelliJ can't find the JDBC driver.
More research to be done. My first officer duck buddy has no input for me.
It's going to be a long day.
17 -
I've been dreaming about an eat() method in, I guess, Javascript. It would accept a string as parameter and set the cursor position further by the width of that string in the current font and size without displaying the string. A bit like a span with FG == BG.
But the best was the debug mode: the characters would be printed, but a yellow duck would appear from the left and eat them in Pacman style.1 -
I did not fully understand dev ducks untill my project partner said I used him as a dev duck. I wonder how long it would take until he gets me one.
-
On the days when I just want to sob and put my head through the monitor....
I get out a piece of paper and draw my processes (whether that be code or mapping etc). Each step of each process, helps to represent the input and output of each method.
This makes it easier to find which step isn't giving the desired output....
Either this or the rubber duck method. :) -
Besides assorted craft materials and PC my desk has a dual purpose crocheted rubber duck: it serves as a pin cushion and my debugging friend! I made him and he has lived there since my first year of university.
I also keep a mug from my university, scented candles, notepad and pen (for all my tech savvy-ness, quick notes are still better handwritten) and whatever crafty project I'm working on.
My desk is honestly a mess (I have to clear it ~three times a week to have any space to work on) but they say creative people have messy workstations so I take my inability to keep an orderly environment as an expression of my creativity.1 -
I've shown my devDuck to other people in my school. At first, they did not understand but I initiated them to how a ducky can be useful and now they're playing with my duck (yeah, duck) and they're so noisy I'm going to regret it1
-
Holy fucking monkey nuts my boss is such a cunt, he is soo damned ignorant, for some who worked in dev for 20 years, to tell another dev that is easy, should only need to change a few keys in order to be able to completely rewrite 6 months worth of work. Poor bastard was soo pissed he finished a whole bottle of whiskey.
I made him work from home today, we not really meant too, because you know, Developer do not do work if their duck dick of a manager is not there watching, and well it makes it a lot harder for him to make rediculously, moronic requests like that over slack.
Part of me was genuinely afraid he would same something equally moronic and said dev would try and kill him, which would put the rest of the office and the awkward position if having to help. Really complicated to cover that up and then get the stories straight and iron out the alibis.1 -
I see it evolving the same way it always has done. The technology will keep changing for the better and the best stuff will emerge on top.
You have a choice to fight the current of new technology that is always flowing by learning and adapting to what comes. If you don't, and you stay stagnant with your chosen tech and skill level, the current will eventually carry away your relevance.
It's natural selection. You have to fight or die. -
Vacation starting tomorrow! I'm going to BlizzCon! How much do you want to bet I will be roped into doing some emergency work while I'm there??2
-
Try to finish some of the projects I've started in 2018. Right now I have a todo list text file, along with multiple written lists (the written ones are more focused on a single project normally).
-Finish the startpage I've been doing off and on for at least a month now. I ended up making a lot of it command based (just need to write the scripts for the commands..). I had a little config menu but I just got tired of it and the text box is autofocus anyways, so I figured I'd make it command focused.
-Nice little root safety script as I call it. I've made very stupid mistakes as root before. I once made a typo and ran "chmod --recursive 644 /" while half asleep. I believe I was trying to run that on the current directory I was in, but as you know, the . and / are right next to each other. Basically the script would see what you're doing and echo "you're about to do x, are you sure that's what you want to do?". Something I know I could knock out in a day, but I've been putting it off for at least a year now.
-Compiling notification. I saw something similar once a few years ago, and it was so fucking cool. I remember it being a Mac, and it had a notification that would basically tell you how many files and shit you had left to compile if you were building something. Kinda want to build something for polybar.
-FUCKING RUBBER DUCK DEBUGGING TO THE EXTREME! This one was inspired by a comment someone made once months ago. Might have been here, or reddit, or in real life, not sure. Basically a big ass fucking rubber duck with LEDs in it that will like glow red if your code wouldn't compile (I think Visual Studio has like an automatic error detecting thing in there?? Maybe something similar if I can figure that out). Honestly not sure how the fuck I'd do this one, but I love the idea and I really want to fucking do it
There's more shit. These are just the main ones I want to attempt sometime in the near future. -
!@#GDSGA!Q@#@
In my absolute lack of genius, I just lost way too much time finally realizing that in C# linq-to-objects removes duplicates when you use Union().
At one point I knew this, but I forgot about it because I never want duplicates, slowly forgetting what Union() was doing.
*This time* however, the duplicates are required and it all goes to crap without them.
Save me, Concat()!
You can run but you can't hide from noobery.
Blahb;asdfabnahsdfa.3 -
I HATE the idea of only releasing on pre-determined schedules despite work being completed and just waiting for that day to arrive.
I'm a co-founder of a small software company. We have partnered with another particular company that also writes software. Some of our clients have access to paid content of that company's services through our application.
Every once in a while, our clients will report issues with that company's service to us, because they access it through our application. They think it's our issue.
We then pass the report on to the partner company, telling them that their stuff is broken. Their reply goes like this:
"Ok. We'll get the bug fix scheduled, and we'll release it next Thursday."
"Next Thursday? The issue is now, they can't use the service."
"That's our scheduled release date."
O.M.G.
We voluntarily walked away from our safe, cushy jobs working for other people, taking enormous pay cuts to start this company. Now, we're 6+ years in, disrupting established fat-and-happy competitors in this space. I GUARANTEE you that if we had that same attitude, we would have been absolutely obliterated early on.
We are quick. Guided by kanban boards, our suite of unit tests and integration tests is vast and kick-ass. With continuous integration and the click of a button we know if we broke something or if the piece we're working on is ready to be pushed to production, IMMEDIATELY. Our "release schedule" is when the damn thing is complete.
It isn't all bad. Our integration with them has been beneficial for both of us. I just loathe their snail's pace which negatively affects our mutual customers. It can make us look bad, and we can do nothing about it.
Blah.3 -
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s a duck, right? So if this duck is not giving you the noise that you want, you’ve got to just punch that duck until it returns what you expect. -Patrick Ewing2
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When I hit the endpoint from Postman it works. When I hit the endpoint from my application that pushes data to the endpoint it doesn't work, returning a 404 status code. I KNOW the endpoint is there and operational and that both Postman and my application have the same endpoint configured, letter for letter.
So lost. So confused. What the hell is going on.
I decide to install Fiddler to monitor the traffic to see if I can see anything helpful.
I initiate the request again from the application and immediately see that the request size is huge. BAM. It immediately hits me, the payload to the endpoint is too big and the server is "rejecting" it with a 404. I post a smaller request with the application and it works fine.
Yay, saved by Fiddler.
Why does the endpoint default to 404 in such scenarios. The definition of 404: "the client was able to communicate with a given server, but the server could not find what was requested"
In my case, the 404 returned was a red herring. I understand that the substatus code gives more information on why the 404 was returned, in my case the request size being too big, but 404 in general feels like the wrong status code to return because the endpoint IS there. It made me troubleshoot the wrong thing.
Thanks, IIS.4 -
To me, writing authorization code for securing APIs is like having to fold an enormous pile of laundry and actually putting it all away afterward. It needs to be done but I'm not going to enjoy it.3
-
My shoes have started to quack like a duck.
(Only when I walk. It would worry me if they quacked otherwise. The quack occurs with every step upon the shoe landing on the ground with the natural force of walking.)
Anyway, I walk really fast and people have started to give me way because they probably think it’s a kid on a rampage. Which… works for me. So yay.5 -
2023 After a big working day ! I just want to relax with an easy movie to watch
The movie
- Political
- overpower woman that spite on man
- the message
- remake, spin off
- predictable as fuck story line
- actors that have no fucking emotions
- plots twist predictable
- predictable boring scary jump
- watch it on netflix, disney+, Amazon prime, HBO, Crave, Helix, Tou.tv for only 25$ a month
- CGI are fucking ugly shit
- story incoherence
- movie are always politicly correct
- i see the camera man in the cars window is fucking obvious
- people working in movie are poor as fuck because shit actors want lot's and lot's of money
- lot of movie are make for the branding not the movie itself
- you notifications are more interesting than the movie itself
- you want to go to the theater... 99$ popcorn and M&M bag of 20 pieces
- kids want to listen something else
- woman want help with the dishes at 10 PM
- no more beer or chips
You know what ? I think i will go feed some duck 🦆 at the park next time7 -
Working with a SOAP endpoint. I know it is some .NET server due to the style of stacktrace on exceptions. Nice, a framework where I can expect some type safety granted by static types. I build some xsl to transform the SOAP wsdl files into classes and structs to interact with the endpoint. Works out perfectly.
Plottwist!
Elements which are defined in the xsd/wsdl with maxOccur=unbounded and minOccur=0 should represent a simple collection of this type. Therefore does my implementation expect a collection of this type. But no. The shipped SOAP client in my stack ignores the definition and simply deserializes the SOAP response into T and not a collection of T.
Where the duck are the types when they are defined all over the place?2 -
Going to go old school D&D. The more I learn in school, plus messing with code to improve my job at work, the more I feel like one of the Magi. The more I level up the more I can interpret the spell books. I may not be able to cast an amazing spell yet, but I can at least know when it is a good time to duck behind something because I fireball is coming my way.7
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My stress ball has been stolen!
I came in to work to an email alerting me to a bug in production. I copied the site to staging to work on the issue but I was unable to replicate bug. My rubber duck wasn't helping so I went to go bounce my ball off the wall when I realized I don't have a stress ball anymore.
I spent 7 hours working on the bug without a stress ball before finally fixing it. And now I'm ready to deal with the theft the old-fashioned way.3 -
I guess talking to a duck helps after all although my duck was actually writing an email to business explaining an issue I am having in a requested change.
Right before I hit send, I go... Ah I get it now!
That saved me from some embarrassment :) -
Things I learned in this 2 month training in an IT company ;
- the way @marcerisson wanted me and my group project team to use Git (and kept yelling at us about ) is actually the proper, professional way of using Git
- there is a difference between an MVC model and a fucking pack of overcomplicated spaghetti code
- commenting your code and naming your variables properly IS IMPORTANT especially when another dev might read it 15 years later (i see you Mr I Name All my Variables With the Name Of the Function and A Number)
- « if it worls it ain’t stupid » also apply in a professional area
- where ´s my fucking rubber duck2 -
May IE burn in hell.
One time I was trying to get something positioned properly, and it worked on all browsers except IE. There was this little gap between two divs and I couldn't get rid of it. In desperation after hours of troubleshooting and lots of CSS attempts with no solution, I removed the whitespace from between the two divs in the HTML:
<div>...</div>
<div>...</div>
to:
<div>...</div><div>...</div>
And voila! No more gap when looking at the rendered page.
FML I hate you, IE.1 -
My family literally knows nothing about development, programming, computer science. It's bad. The closest anyone in my family has come to understanding is a distant cousin, who is an IT lead in Healthcare. His mother told him to call me because some fucking piece of shit at his job purposefully mucked up an internal ASP.net app on his way out. Sure, I had nothing better to do than to phone debug your shitty app with zero context. Great.
My wife is the one who comes closest to understanding in my immediate family* but even she admits when I come home ranting that she has absolutely zero idea what I'm saying.
It great though because I get to use her as a living rubber duck that just stares at me with a blank expression. Then at the end of describing a complex problem I'm trying to sort out she just replies with some encouraging thing like, "I'm certain you'll figure it out."
Fuck this is a long rant. Sorry. I better get back to work. -
I got a rubber duck that can say what my code is doing wrong! Well, actually it is my brother that just gives me advice on how I can make my code work lol1
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About half the chats with my line manager is just me being a rubber duck equivalent to him.
M: Can you implement the stuffity stuff like I asked?
Me: *starts typing*
M: Oh nevermind it was cached -
FUCK ME IN MY INDICES.
FUCK THE GPUS IN THEIR INDICES.
I mean... I understand (roughly) why the meshes are sent to gpu in this form, but at the same time...
...there's a reason why first thing I did when I was coding my procedural geometry generation library, was abstracting away all of that stuff...
...sadly, as many useful things, when I was looking for that lib on the start of this contract, I couldn't find it. and I was like "doesn't matter, this is a simple thing, using the library would be just a lazy overkill anyway".
well, fuck.
two hours of playing around with two fucking triangles, trying to figure out which indexes are pointing to the correct vertices in a list containing FOUR outline paths.
(lower inner, upper inner, lower outer, upper outer, exacly in this order).
i mean, yeah, it's actually pretty straightforward stuff... for someone not as dumb as me =D
you just have two offsets, one that jumps you to start of the upper path, another that jumps you to the start of the outer path, then it's just
0 + upOffset to get the vertex extruded upwards from the zeroth of the inner path, or
0 + outOffset to get the zeroth from the outer outline, or
0 + outOffset + upOffset, to get the one extruded from zeroth outer vertex...
and so on.
simple stuff, then you just replace the zero with loop control var, put them in the right order, and voilá! walls!
except... whatever, why am I describing in such detail, not necessary, you're not my rubber duck =D
in short, figuring out which fuckin vertex is which, when the list contains ...well, any number of points, and you need to plug the gap between last and first points of the paths, where you need to wrap around the list...
...has proven to be surprisingly hard for me.
funny how much I love doing these things with meshes, despite how bad I am at doing them, which makes me hate doing them despite loving it =D2 -
Lots of hate towards Microsoft, and they go and do something like this:
https://blogs.msdn.microsoft.com/do...
I'm excited for these features. With existing .NET Core you can compile console apps natively to Windows/MacOS/Linux. WPF and WinForms soon making it to .NET Core will bring the ability to compile native GUI apps too.
Oh, and .NET Core is all open source. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.6 -
The annoyance when you type something and butcher the spelling of a word so bad that not even spell check has any clue.1
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Need to change host for my sites, but no money for a good one. Trying to put everything in one cloud (5 USD) but... How the duck can I create a mail server with multiple domains?
A good fight with postfix, dovecot... The first account, just to the sake of make it work, is almost working (I reckon)9 -
Hello, world!
Okay, guys and gals... I need your creative minds. I need a concept for sort of a property manager for my game.. I have an idea of my own, feel free to tear it apart or throw it out the window.
So basically.. You'll no longer have one Computer System (and you wont instantly hit the login screen for that System on startup) Instead, you'll have a lot of things. They will probably only be represented using text and menu's (likely no 3D or 2D environments or anything.. Though, a setup like News Tycoon would be epic, but I think that would be too much for this game.) You'll basically start off with a small space (probably a basement) with x amount of free space. In that space, you'll need to add things like a desk, chair, and a laptop, or tower + monitor. You can also buy things like server rigs with a ton of space, but those are pricy and bulky. Each item costs X amount and takes up X amount of space. Also, you'll need a desk for a monitor (or multiples..) and other things.. (Like your rubber duck collection ;P JK) You can also rent and manage servers. (renting is more exspensive in the long run, but things on your server are not on your property. But, if you own a server on your property you can rent space to to NPCs) As well as manage your devices, properties, stocks, etc..
Also, there will be in-game time. Depending on how "comfortable" you are will determine how long you can stay up in a day. In-game events will take place later on at specific times so staying up (or not..) will need to be managed well. Especially if you're being targeted by a rival (NPC) hacker.7 -
So the whole rubber duck culture in devRant comes from "rubber duck debugging" in _The Pragmatic Programmer_, right? Just read about it today3
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@dfox
Would it be possible to extend the shop with a perl rubber duck? I feel left alone as one of the few perl coders here... everyone seems to be using php and python etc.
I'd probably be willing to pay more12 -
I'm in hospital now and pretty much can't walk to toilet so nurses gave me this thing that you can relieve yourself in. Guess how they call it. A DUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I'M NOT GOING TO TALK TO THAT THING.4
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I lost one of my 19 rubber ducks, and i can't find it.. It was a great duck, i already miss its squeaky sound :(3
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Test A succeeds when run solo. Test A fails when run in conjunction with Test B. Obviously, some kind of messy state that isn't isolated per test.
I realize what it is, so I add a new feature to address it.
Test still fails, it had nothing to do with that.
I finally realize what it was. One liner fix.
Yay for a new (useless?) feature that isn't getting backed out. -
I play some ping pong and talk to other people about it.
Rubber duck is great but thinking human is a little better.3 -
Colleague: I'll write a stored procedure that does fully qualified database table path names to access data from the other databases and then do business logic with all of it in the same proc.
Me: That will be 600 lashings.4 -
Budgie up and running. Tho, I had an issue overload cpu, and stopped previews-creator. Is that even safe?
Anyways, half of my customized deepin shit doesn't work properly anymore. It's a piss off. Wondering if a downgrade would help.
If shit stops breaking for six more months, I might be able to finish uni and go back to workforce properly, where cash-cash-dollar can buy me a new laptop, or a workstation that allows me to duck around with current laptop.
Like, being a student again has been so unnerving. Won't do it ever again. (a PhD doesn't count as study 😜)2 -
Some parents say it is toy guns that make boys warlike. But give a boy a rubber duck and he will seize its neck like the butt of a pistol and shout 'Bang!'5
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Hey, what do you think about WTF capes for duckies?
Oh I'd put like three of those on a duck and the proceed to throw it at the people that displease me. 😇😈
DevRant issue: https://github.com/devRant/devRant/...1 -
tl;dr never heard about rubber duck debugging before devrant
i didnt worked with Yii fw in the past but we bouth a site written in Yii and i wanted to add a form but could not pass the model to the view so i went for a smoke with my roommate to think about it
"i have the view, i have the model, the action but dont know how to pass the model variable because its an existing view..."
"...it should be passed to the render function in the existing index action but thats written somewhere else, so if i could pass it there..."
"...i can write the action there and then i should pass the variable to the render function in the index action and goddamit, so thats how you do it, thanks mate!"
he stared at me like wtf? o.O
room mate debugging ftw!1 -
Put this as a comment but felt that it needed a post of its own.
I ducking love my fuck (see what I did there ;P) He my little coding buddy, I gave him a little back story and everything.
This is Francis (although he insists its Frankie) He transpecied (a duck in a penguins body) so he always has a "short-man complex" little attitude all the time (unless its because he never gets a word in before I figure out the bug myself =S )
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After seeing many of these duck posts here, I want to show mine :)
Can someone tell me what it is with that rubber ducks? I got mine from a friendsome time ago :P
2 -
Someone at my work actually got a rubber duck and him talking to this duck (himself) is really annoying at one point someone got over there and solved problem for him lol seriously, who actually says it out loud?3
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First, realize that trying to accurately estimate how much time something is going to take is akin to accurately predicting the future and that people who ask you to do it are stupid. Then realize that sales-oriented deadlines are the source of all that is evil. Then shift away from sales oriented software. Instead focus on selling existing features and new features on the roadmap have no deadlines, they're done when they're done. Then realize almost no workplace will let you truly do that because chasing the sale is all that matters despite the latest buzz word rhetoric. Then estimate enough buffer to give you a reasonable time to complete it without calling your abilities into question. Then finish it faster so you score points with management, but not every time because then they'll begin to expect it. Now you have leveled up in mind games, an unfortunate but necessary tool in the tool belt. Then hate on sales oriented software some more, rinse and repeat.
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I fucking hate laud people!!!
OMG you are like fucking 20cm from your friend and I can hear every fucking thing from across a 250 people room.
And that mother fking laughing is so annoying...I don't give a flying duck if your software is bugged you wrote that code shut up and solve it.
I'm trying to concentrate because there is an exam in 1,5h3 -
People posting their (not so good) workstation. Post it if you code on 3 widescreens, 9 monitors, a gaming rig or if your debug duck is a ducking (pun (maybe)) dragon.
A laptop on a 10 inch table is pretty sad.2 -
How should you approach someone and tell them they have been an victim of social engineering without being mean?
I was at an security conference today and watched a lot of speaks, and I must say that the atmosphere and the people around made it even better.
Here is one takeaway:
Does the security of IT has to be this depressing most of the time, like there is so many IoT devices, services, websites and critical infrastructure that has security flaws and all we can do is watch for now and say we are all fucked. Then try to lead the industry to better practices, like owasp (duck it) . Stop accepting and using shitty answers from SO that has security flaws (why learn something a way that is wrong in the first place?).
We need more awareness about IT security overall, how can one developer know that certain technologies can have certain vulnerabilities such as XSS, XSRF and even SQL injection if there is no information about it in among all shitton tutorials, guides and SO answers in the first place?
Lighten up! Being sad and depressing about these issues is not the best way to approach this! We need to embrace all steps taken towards better security, even the smallest ones.
Check out OWASP if you are not familiar :
https://owasp.org/index.php/...
Thanks for reading. -
I want to purchase a rubber duck from devrant, but am not quite sure how long it is going to take before arriving to Nigeria. I can buy it from a local retailer in my country, but i don't want to, buying from devrant is my way of giving back to this awesome platform. @dfox have you shipped to africa before ?2
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!dev
I used to like apples Autocorrect. I use the english and german keyboard.
but since my main language is english and I only write german when chatting with my family, sometimes I'm too lazy to switch keyboards.
Now the german and english corrections kinda got messed up.
it started to correct my intentions like:
Such - Sich
Nein - Nine
Dich - Dick
Gut - But
Fuck - Duck (don't know where that came from)
...
which can lead to unfortunate sentences.
So I decided to disable auto correct about a week ago.
What I realized is.. it's fucking impossible to type precise on a fucking smartphone without it.
even this rant took me about 10min to write..4 -
First meeting with a client, who wants a programm to organize the produced data they have collected.
Interviewing their "technical director":
Q: "How do we get access to the data?"
A: "Yes, the data is stored as (insert really unknown data type) files on our servers.
Q: "Ok, but how can we access the data from you? FTP?"
A: "Umm, I will give you the link to something... I mean the folder".
If I had a rubber duck in my hands at the moment, it would have been it's last, but loud quack5 -
Frak Yahoo!
Son of a duck!
Why don't you just let me delete my account?!
>Sign In
>Please change your password
*changes password*
>Sign In
>We sent a code to your recovery email
*Signs in with the code
>Oops, can't load your emails temporarily
(And the first and only email it loads is "Find your right life partner!")
*On a quest to find the hidden treasure of the Delete Account link*
?
>Read this before you delete your account
>Continue to terminate your account
*Delete*
>Oops, can't delete your account for some reason, try again later
*Nothing else works on the page*
*One link works - Cancel*
>Sign In to Delete your account
>>Repeat
Trucking motherduck!
Why is deleting accounts such a hard thing to do?4 -
Figured I'd play around with Linux for the first time. I followed instructions to create bootable flash drive. I then proceeded to lose an hour just trying to get Ubuntu to do something after booting from it. The welcome UI becomes unresponsive every time.
14 -
Duck! this sloppy whiny winnfsd.
Yay! Let's use state of the art Docker with a VirtualBox VM on Windows10.
Don't get me wrong.
The Docker containers in this VM doing a great job on performance.
But in the very moment a Docker container uses a mounted folder via the windows network filesystem, all hell is breaking loose.
Building a vendor folder using a composer Docker image with 84 Packages takes about 15 seconds when cache has been warmed up.
The same Docker command pointing on a folder mounted to Windows Filesystem with warmed up cache takes about 10 Minutes!@&&@""+&
And what is the duckin' reason for this delay?
Because every transfer of a teeny tiny file has to establish a connection to fat ass Windows OS and has to pass it's glorious "security" layer.
DUCK it!
For real.
I currently working on a shell script which builds the whole vendor folder on a volume on Docker VM.
After completion, the shell script will compress the folder to one file.
This one file will be transferred over this god damned network filesystem.
Finally the script will unpack the compressed vendor folder in it's destination folder.
*sigh*
What year is it?!??3 -
Sorry but whats the connection between rubber duck and programming?
Is it like java and javascript
Or porn and pornhub?2 -
My version of the rubber duck is Outlook. I start writing a mail to the PM explaining an issue with the domain logic and how I see multiple ways to resolve it, but not sure which one is better.
As I write the email clearly enough for him to understand, I end up knowing exactly what to do and I delete the email 😜2 -
!rant
Borrowed our designers desktop figurine / mannequin , i read somewhere that there is something called rubber duck debugging so i tried it but on a mannequin , honestly it works like a charm i have fixed a bug in the code thanks to talking to a inanimate object. -
Never realized how often I use rubber duck debugging until I learned there was a name for it ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°1
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The original idea of the starter lines goes to someone here like over a year ago or something. Found this piece while cleaning my desk and thought you would appreciate it.
Rubber duck
What the fuck
Why didn't you tell
This god awful smell
Of this spaghetti code
I guess you reap
What you sow
Rubber duck
What the fuck
I'm out of luck -
Incoming rant.
I have 4 years professional experience at a small shop working on a web application for property and liability insurance. The application is ASP.NET with C# as the code-behind. I have a BCS and will finish my MSIS fall 2017. I have no idea why I have the degrees. I know that when I enrolled, it seemed like they would be a nice addition to an otherwise empty resume. I was lucky enough to land my first and only development job during my sophomore year of my undergraduate program. Is this enough experience to land a new job?
I feel like I'm learning nothing at my current job. The specs that come in seem very vague to me. When asked for clarification, there is often push back, and I don't know whether that's because I don't have enough experience to parse what the client means in the two sentence spec I got or if it's because the client does not actually know what they want.
I hate my current job. My productivity is low because I spend more time trying to figure out what the client wants and analyzing an 8 year old system that has 0 documentation. I know some of you will just say, "Suck it up" at this point, but I really want another job. The only thing I like about this job is that it's 100% remote. It also pays $60k a year, so a replacement should be at least that salary.
Most postings I see require professional experience of 5 years or more, and knowledge of other frameworks. I can work on getting knowledge of the other frameworks, but will have no professional experience with them. I don't live in an area with a lot of software development jobs, and the ones I see are for non-IT organizations that want 1 person to run a distributed system from 10 or more locations. A hospital system out here wants to pay $30k a year for a guy to be both software developer for new tools as well as the helpdesk and IT support guy that's on-call for four locations in the county. I made more than that before I got into the development industry, for less work, and would rather leave than settle for something like that.
I've thought about moving to somewhere near San Francisco or San Jose, but I have my daughter to think about. I have joint custody of her, and would have to give that up in order to move out of the county.
I like programming and using it to solve problems. I like designing architectures and how all the components will interface. I like designing and normalizing databases. I like taking part in coding competitions for employers that are well-known (Amazon, Facebook, Uber, Twitch, etc.), even though I often just place middle of the pack. When that happens, I feel like I'm an imposter in this industry.
I think I have the most fun just working on small projects for personal use. My latest is an assistant calculator for the game Transport Fever to figure out cargo throughputs per annum based on the in-game timing information. Past projects have also been small. Ones I could use in a portfolio are a sudoku solver desktop application, PC/Web game in Unity that is a 3D FPS remake of Duck Hunt that allows open world exploration but locks the camera's viewpoint for shooting events, and a building assistant for Rome II: Total War that maps out all the bonuses/perks of user-specified building combinations in provinces so users can record their long term building plans without using all their turns to see the final results.
I seem to be an unproductive, average developer who dabbles in projects here and there.
This is what I want from other Ranters. Just say something. I don't care if it is, "Suck it up and get better." It could be your tips for finding and securing a new position. It could even be empathy, if such a thing exists on the Internet. Whatever you want, just say something that will help get me thinking of what the next steps in my career should be.1 -
Does sending spam text messages really bring results? Omg, I bought a domain name once without paying for privacy and oh how I regret it. I can't imagine anybody ever being like, "Oh wow, thank you for reaching out to me with that product pitch, that's exactly what I was looking for, please, take my money!"
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What are the most important qualities you look for when hiring new devs? What are the biggest warning signs for you? We're gearing up for interviewing devs in the near future so I figured I'd ask the devRant think tank its thoughts on the matter.9
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So first day in the course (https://devrant.com/rants/2049071/...), the lecturer want's to tell us a joke but forgets the punchline...
While he is trying to remember, everyone is like "let's Google it" And proceed to open their phones.
So someone in the back says, what are you guys? Geeks? Let's duck it!3 -
Quack quack, I'm a duck.
And it makes me wanna quack.
Btw why did autocorrect correct "duck" to "fuck" twice?2 -
Mfw my mate starts talking code and I zone out, only to zone back in on him asking my opinion... then he suddenly figures it out before i have a chance to mumble bullshit.
'Thx for being my rubber duck m8!'
I truly was.
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i got a dev!rant nostress ball, because i didn't have any serious rants and used the app for fun purposes.
edit: do you think maybe it can also help in debugging, although it's nothing close to being a duck.
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Is there a market for novelty ducks? I shared an office with a coworker so i cannot really speak to mine, i still got this one just for the sake of having one. It looked a bit different than the usual ones but its not exactly novelty, but it got me thinking...
anyway, i present you "standing duck with hat"
3 -
Shout out to rubber dusk. Rubber duck was a word while playing pictionary today. And I was the only one who got it right.
And people asked me how I knew that. And I said she is my best friend. -
Playing around with DALL-E mini for the first time, thanks to huggingface.co ... My first request, obviously: "rubber duck in space".
Then it turned into the next one where the request was: "A fleet of rubber ducks in space preparing to conquer a purple planet that has lots of clouds and trees".
...which then turned into me wondering...what would Google Lens think of this...which led me to thinking that will be the thing I tell my kid ... vs. before when you'd joke and tell people not to Google "Google" or you'll break the internet. Now it's: you can't use this AI with this other AI or they'll gain sentience (or if already sentient we'll say: give them a headache or something).
1 -
Now arguing with the ceo of startup I’m part of that we can use the ugly generator for avatar, and he said we should use the duck generator, and I said the duck has virtually no personality, but he said it fits the simplicity design flow
Man15 -
SHIT FUCK I THINK I LOST MY VISA CARD
OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK
IT WAS LITERALLY THE ONLY WAY I PAY (besides Bitcoin)
god fucking duck me in uranus, now I gotta pay money to get a replacement. Besides that, my parents are going to be pissed off, aaaand I might end up finding it somewhere.
I probably dropped it while pulling out my phone. I don't know why I thought putting it in the same pocket with my phone was a good choice. Just as I don't know if it was a good choice to learn Java
*shot fired*6 -
Do you guys have a duck store nearby, or it's specific to Amsterdam?
It's not for advertisement, I just found it funny.
https://www.amsterdamduckstore.com/3 -
Me: I'm currently working an unfamiliar stack and need extensive searching to implement this or that, but that's ok, duck duck go and SO is my friend
Also me: oh look, [facebook/devrant/youtube/I really need to sort this unrelated shit right about now since I just randomly remembered it and will forget in 3..2..1../devrant] -
Can JS events bubble in trees of objects other than DOM nodes? If so, what properties do I need?
I tried to read this: https://dom.spec.whatwg.org//... but it's stupid long, references a bunch of other functions and I got lost in between the variables.
I'm kinda confused because it often uses type checks (i.e. if target is a Node or a Window object), which goes against the very point of duck typing.
I could technically make my nodes into DOM nodes, but I'd rather have them inherit from Worker.1 -
Y'all have your rubber duck to debug, but I have my own technic: the SO debugging.
It simply consists as asking your question as you'd normally do, but while doing so, you still think about your issue, and how people not knowing your problem but still knowing about dev would react to your question, making you asking other related question (SO's related question might also help).
IMHO, the most important part is the "related" question, that helps you to think outside the box. It makes your problematic progress a lot, and has the gift of not making you loosing any hope ; and if you ever block for good, your question will look less silly than at the beginning -
I'm in a big fat fucking stinking rut, as in progress on this project has absolutely stagnanted.
Gonna rubber face your duck now **UNZIPS** excepts I don't have zippers, as joggers are the one true way; fake Adidas til I fucking drop.
Brain damage aside, I understand both how I've layed out the data and what I'm supposed to do with it. We have a virtual machine, an array of instructions and arguments for a given process within it, and we need to walk this array and map values to registers.
We also need to spill values inside registers to stack, IF they are required at a further point within that block. This also isn't terribly complex. We simply look forward in the array and see if the value is an argument to any instruction that *needs* this value to be loaded (ie, within a register).
So this implies multiple iterations; we need to better understand how one particular value is used throughout an F before we can make a final decision on how many registers and stack space are actually needed for the whole block.
Here's where it gets tricky. If there's a call, we need to be certain that the symbol being invoked has already been fully processed. Besides the obvious fact that recursion fucks me up, there's another matter: say a private method gets invoked by another private method. We can take advantage of this, by which I mean, sacrilege incoming so put on this toga.
Looking at the output for C compilers, it would seem this is not done in practice, I would assume because it's a pain in the ass. But when you have the guarantee that F will only be called internally, as that's what "private" means, there's two ways it can go:
0. It's well below the 13-20 cycle threshold, so you inline the fucker. No suprises there.
1. It's a more involved affaire, and invoked in more than one place, so you don't inline it. Codesize matters.
Recursion and [1] are the big deal things holding me back. Not because it's too hard, like I said this is kindergarten level abstraction. I'm just slow and fanatical, which is how I prefer to spell "constant obsessive paranoid delusions". I can see the potential optimization I can pull here, so I'm stuck trying to figure it out.
Idea would be, handling the register allocation and stack spill for an internal-internal (or deep internal; what we like to call a "guts" method) in synchronization with the *calling* processes. This is, fundamentally, violating all conventions -- but so under the hood no one will notice.
Let me give you an example. If we were to pass some value to a function, expecting to mutate it and get a different value back, in a lot of cases it'd be stupid to make an implicit copy by using two registers, one for input and another for the output. Dude, it's one cycle. Multiply it by a million, say sixty times per second, for every time you __needlessly__ make a copy of a value that we've already stated is mutable.
Clearly unacceptable. This is, in the strictest sense, everywhere in every single codebase. Premature micro optimization is the root of all goodness, God is great and praiseworthy. So how do we go about it?
Answer is I know and I don't know. By which I mean to say, this very thing I've done by hand. Assembly is fun. Now the issue is teaching a calculator how to do it. Not so fun.
There is a dependency chain between processes, as I believe I've kind of alluded to. I'm trying to make decisions on the side of the caller depending on the details of the callee, which is why recursion is rawdogging my soul. This is the same situation, it's inverting the direction of one or more links in the dependency chain, which makes no fucking sense.
And yet it does.
Brain, explain yourself.
How do *you* handle this without crashing?
Brain?
<<ME STEWPED; BEEP-BOOP>>
Alright then, that was a useless attempt at fuckery. Let's have a nap then, maybe it'll come to me in the morning. That's what I've been saying to myself for almost a month now.
Perhaps it is a hardcoded fuk.1 -
Can anyone with some AWS IAM skills please shine a light on this one: I needed access to create a slack notification for a job in Code Pipeline. Simple enough, but we (devs) have next to no access to AWS so every time I try something I am stopped by the red "user X is not authorized to perform Y on resource Z.." warning message. I send an email to OPS and ask for permissions needed to do what I need (in this case: create a Slack notification for a pipeline), and I am granted that specific one. It gets me one step further, until I am stopped by a new red warning message. This has been going on for over a week, with a total of TEN new authorizations added to my user. That's TEN red warnings, TEN emails asking for access, and TEN replies saying "Ok, can you try now?". Today I finally got the god damn slack notifier set up, only to get one last red warning slapped in my face: I am not allowed to SEE the notifications configured for my pipeline. Please insert four letter word that rimes with DUCK here: [_________]!!.
I REFUSE to believe that this is how access should be granted in AWS. Can I tell my OPS person that there is somewhere they can find a list of required access rights to complete a specific operation ("Create slack notification for pipeline")? I know there are example policies for various things, but if there isn't one for what I need how should OPS go about granting me access without this totally ridiculous "try again now" approach?
Oh, and @assmaster: don't comment "nice" to this one. This is shitting me off.3 -
Compare and harmonize the web configs
Oh no someone set execution timeouts to 14 days
Fuck fuck fuckity duck
Hey compare all the web configs of all environments and harmonize them all wtf cmon bruh do your job as a developer
Take them and back them up into svn. What do you mean svn isn't a back up system of course it is well its the only thing we have fuck
What do you mean we have shit logging where people will catch an exception and only print the word exception in the log you can figure it out can't you we have live produxtion issues that hace to be solved now what the fuck
How dare you make a. Mistake copying our shitload of a bloated codebase and configuring our 100s of different options all by fukcing hand what the fuck dude do yoh write anyrhing down?
Please catalogue all the exception mails we are getting but we have no db or error reporting system so they all just plop into tue inbox and thats all ypur fuckjng data figure it out kid
This is a rewarding, fulfilling job whwrw you can be both dev ops and a developer and manage all of our fucking environments of which there are about 15 of all your own with no sort of tool or software to aid you because haha what the fuck we wouldn't make your life easy
Whata that you want to spend time to write stuff or change stuff that will nake it easier fot you fuxk that bruh get back to your biklable tasks like holy shit you thjnk this is a charity ofr aomw shit
Live production issues
Live production issues
Produxtion issues. A ghost in the machine. Find it fix if find it fix it find it fix it cmon why can't you fix it I expect you to spend your day hopelessly pretending to try to solve something you fucker
One of the only peopel able to help you sometimes though hes a bit of an old laxky, yeah hea fucking leaving see ya seeya kid and now we're not hirinf anyone to fuckjng help you no no no managing and monitoring the environments its your jov alll fof them every sngle on do you knkw all the xonfiguraiton values for them yet??
Instead we are hiring a new sales person to fucking make us some more money and we don't need naother seceloper to help you infqct lets have you use this mid end retail computer from 2014 to develop on yeah yeah oh but all our shitty code and visual studip will destry your memory but too bad!! Hahahahahdhsj
Go lice is all you, why sare you so slow
How long will it take
How long will it take
How long will it take
How long witll it tqk2
How long will it take holy shit
Give time estimate for sonethign that I don't fucking know how about it will tqke till fuxk you oxloxk4 -
The devRant avatar builder should mos def offer loot boxes. I am nearly able to blow my first century on a new shirt or the duck. If a random loot box at 500 gave me the 1/1000 chance to get the white tiger, I would do it. Yes statistically if the model was driven like a slot game I would get the shirt or the duck anyway. But imagine the excitement, the fists slamming down on tables, the expletives. Passion like that leads to love. There is no love in choosing between the shirt and the duck.4
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I need to go buy a rubber duck so it looks less like I'm talking to myself. Trying to pull out and refactor some shit functionality in a WordPress theme because the client NEEDS it. Frankly all it is doing is creating a custom post type, but they're used to the way they've been doing it and I'm stuck with dealing with it. I generally like this part of my job (my face in the code) but trying to read this huge mess of code with no standards is driving me insane.
"What in the hell are you doing here?" "Why do we have variables for $thedata, $the_data, and $theData?"
"Why are your brackets on the wrong line sometimes?"
"Why is each line in this function enclosed in it's own PHP tags rather than around the function?"
At least if I had a duck I could say I'm talking to him.3 -
I just realized that I have actually mastered the ways of the rubber duck debugger with the help of ... stackoverflow.
I just couldn't get my head around a problem thought about it for hours.
Googled for similar solutions, but didn't find anything.
In the end, I decided I'd do something I usually wouldn't and post a question on stackoverflow.
While carefully writing out and explaining my problem, it just made click.
I had it...
It works now...2 -
I was hired about 6 weeks ago to help the company take ownership of a piece of software written by an external team. The whole thing was MEAN stack. I had never done anything extensive in nodeJS, but I am quite comfortable in JavaScript and so there weren't any problems. I even ordered myself a JS DevDuck for my new desk.
Just about 2 weeks after my new DevDuck came in, my boss told me that everything the external team wrote is shit and is going to be thrown out. Instead, we're going to rewrite the whole thing inside the existing middleware in Java. Luckily for me, I am also pretty comfortable with Java, though it has been about 5 years, and I know a bunch has changed. But I'm confident I can do the work.
I guess I need a new cape for my duck. Or maybe I'll just start a duck family.1 -
Was talking about jokes in general at work today. Asked someone if they knew about jokes where you read something out loud. Ended up having them read this aloud:
We Todd did
Eye yam we Todd did
Eye yam sofa king we Todd did
Some people don't get it even when read aloud. Afterwards I thought: eye yam sew hymn mat tour
Edit: Oh, we could get people to read this to their dev duck. lol2 -
This place has fucking ducks everywhere. Duck is the new Cat here.
Why? What the fuck! If we want cuteness we should have images of http://rethinkrobotics.com/intera/ here. This cuteness will take over the world one day.
Probably, that's why! We'd all be sitting ducks. That's what this duck trend is signifying. Ah! I might see it now.
But, still! Fuck you duck 🦆!
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