devRant just hit 50,000 downloads on Android (fancy new store badge, yay!). Thank you everyone for being part of this community and spreading the good word! @dfox and I have some fun new features in the works, exciting times!

Guys guys guys!! I ran the windows network diagnostic tool... And it actually fixed the problem!

Respect

Another attempt at trying to get support for weakening encryption recently.

An FBI spokesperson said something like 'we can put people on the moon, why can't we just create law enforcement-accessible encryption? i just don't buy it."

Fuck off and die.

Frontend-developer's day is like:

*moving element by 0.0001px to right*:
- *10 new pages appeared*
- *text suddenly disappeared*
- *pictures pierced bottom of page*
- *window.alert("Kill me")*
- *it's night outside the window, but you totally sure a minute ago was a noon*

*moving element back*:
- *no pictures*
- *no text*
- *no moon*
- *10 blank pages*
- *only darkness left in this world...
...and this fcking element, yeah*

Client: I want to go to the moon!

Me: Sure thing! I will build you a rocket.

Client: But I want you to build me a car.

Me: A car can not take you to the moon.

Client: Build me a car.

Me: OK.

HR sent around updated contracts asking everyone to sign them since the company changed its name, fair enough.

In the contract it stated "Your normal place of work will be X" - only X was many miles away, and I'd never worked there, never planned too. Assumed it was a mistake, sent it back. HR refused to change it, stating that the "normal place of work does not need to be the place where you normally work."

A lot of back and forth entailed, I refused to sign, I was reprimanded for not doing so, I was asked what my problem was as it made no material difference, and then I eventually replied with:

"Angela, I'm refusing to sign this as it's factually incorrect. No further explanation is required. I'll maybe consider signing this if you sign a piece of paper declaring you believe the moon is made of cheese, and you're the cow the milk came from to make it."

A very strongly worded email came back about how this was going on my record, I needed to offer a formal apology, etc. - all cc'd to my manager. I replied back, again copying my manager in, stating that this was ok, as I couldn't remain at a company who forced employees to sign dodgy contracts anyway.

Problem was (for them), I was a *massive* single point of failure for them at this point owing to some others leaving with no handover - hence I knew I wasn't going to be the casualty here. My manager flipped the lid at HR, got the CEO involved on threat of *him* leaving, and the whole thing massively blew up. Happy ending in that the HR person in question was fired, everyone else's contracts also had to be redone (I assumed everyone else just signed without looking which is worrying), and I actually got a pay rise out of it when higher ups realised the massive single point of failure I was.

But damn, I would've walked over crap like that. Walked pretty soon after anyway!

My boss thinks once the UI is made , the backend and integration shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes.

I want to kick him on the dark side of his moon

!rant && !dev

The red Moon this Night. Got a telescope at home

This is how I feel most of my client proposal start:

* It's simple, I'd like to re-invent <the wheel>.

* All I want to do is use <rocketship engine> on <old typewriter>.

* I'm too cheap to hire a full-time < DBA, DevOps engineer, development team>. Can I pay you pennies?

* I'm poor and broke, can you do this for free?

* I'd like to <commit illegal act> and be <legal compliant standard>.

* I heard it was possible to <fly 30 people to the moon> using <Ford Model-T>. Please do this for us.

* I <sold my house>, but now <I'm locked out by the new owners>. Please help.

A Geologist and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"

The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.

Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

THEY PULLED IT OFF! THEY FUCKING DID IT. FUCK YES!
GO SPACEX
TO THE MOON
TO THE MARRS
AND FURTHER

Just found out the backend developer I’m always complaining about. The one who:

- Can’t implement OAuth, and we have to have app users login every 24 hours because we have no way to generate new refresh tokens.

- Who used the phrase “your time zone is not my concern” to avoid building something that would let us inject test data.

- Who’s been debugging a critical bug affecting many users since December.

- Who can’t conduct API tests from external internet (you know, like the way the app will be in the wild) because it takes too much time.

- Who replies to Jira tickets only on a blue moon.

- Who has been 90% of the reason for my blood pressure situation

... is a fucking principal engineer in this company. In pecking order, his opinion should be considered more valuable than mine and everyone on my team.

I’ve just lost the will to live. How are big organizations THIS bad. Seriously, what promotion discussion did he go into

“So, you are a complete and utter bastard, nobody can stand to speak to you and you’ve yet to deliver anything of worth that actually works, over the course of several years ... ... ... interested in having your pay doubled??”

Apparently the code that took humans to the moon was written in Java

Welcome back to practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.

Episode 2: Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand

This is a particularly special episode for me, as these problems are taking up so much of my time with non-sensical bullshit, that i'm delayed with everything else. Some badly require tooling or new products. Some are just unnecessary processes or annoyances that should not need to be handled by another human. So lets jump right in, in no particular order:

- Jira ... nuff said? not quite because somehow some blue moon, planets aligning, act of god style set of circumstances lined up to allow this team to somehow make Jira worse. On one hand we have a gigantic Jira project containing 7 separate sub teams, a million different labels / epics and 4.2 million possible assignees, all making sure the loading page takes as long as possible to open. But the new country we've added support for in the app gets a separate project. So we have product, backend, mobile, design, management etc on one, and mobile-country2 on another. This delightfully means a lot of duplication and copy pasting from one to the other, for literally no reason what so ever.

- Everything on Jira is found through a label. Every time something happens, a new one is created. So I need to check for "iOS", "Android", "iOS-country2", "Android-country2", "mobile-<feature>", "mobile-<feature>-issues", "mobile-<feature>-prod-issues", "mobile-<feature>-existing-issues" and "<project>-July31" ... why July31? Because some fucking moron decided to do a round of testing, and tag all the issues with the current date (despite the fact Jira does that anyway), which somehow still gets used from time to time because nobody pays attention to what they are doing. This means creating and modifying filters on a daily basis ... after spending time trying to figure out what its not in the first one.

- One of my favourite morning rituals I like to call "Jira dumpster diving". This involves me removing all the filters and reading all the tickets. Why would I do such a thing? oh remember the 9000 labels I mentioned earlier? right well its very likely that they actually won't use any of them ... or the wrong ones ... or assign to the wrong person, so I have to go find them and fix them. If I don't, i'll get yelled at, because clearly it's my fault.

- Moving on from Jira. As some of you might have seen in your companies, if you use things like TestFlight, HockeyApp, AppCenter, BuddyBuild etc. that when you release a new app version for testing, each version comes with an automated change-log, listing ticket numbers addressed ...... yeah we don't do that. No we use this shitty service, which is effectively an FTP server and a webpage, that only allows you to host the new versions. Sending out those emails is all manual ... distribution groups?? ... whats that?

- Moving back to Jira. Can't even automate the changelog with a script, because I can't even make sense of the tickets, in order to translate that to a script.

- Moving on from Jira. Me and one of the remote testers play this great game I like to call "tag team ticketing". It's so much fun. Right heres how to play, you'll need a QA and a PM.

*QA creates a ticket, and puts nothing of any use inside it, and assigns to the PM.
*PM fires it back asking for clarification.
*QA adds in what he feels is clarification (hes wrong) and assigns it back to the PM.
*PM sends detailed instructions, with examples as to what is needed and assigns it back.
*QA adds 1 of the 3 things required and assigns it back.
*PM assigns it back saying the one thing added is from the wrong day, and reminds him about the other 2 items.
*QA adds some random piece of unrelated info to the ticket instead, forgetting about the 3 things and assigns it back.

and you just continue doing this for the whole dev / release cycle hahaha. Oh you guys have no idea how much fun it is, seriously give it a go, you'll thank me later ... or kill yourselves, each to their own.

- Moving back to Jira. I decided to take an action of creating a new project for my team (the mobile team) and set it up the way we want and just ignore everything going on around us. Use proper automation, and a kanban board. Maybe only give product a slack bot interface that won't allow them to create a ticket without what we need etc. Spent 25 minutes looking for the "create new project" button before finding the link which says I need to open a ticket with support and wait ... 5 ... fucking ... long ... painful ... unnecessary ... business days.

... Heres hoping my head continues to not have a bullet hole in it by then.

Id love to talk more, but those filters ain't gonna fix themselves. So we'll have to leave it here for today. Tune in again for another episode soon.

And remember to always practiseSafeHex

Why Eclipse IDE don't add moon eclipse theme?😂

Advice that I give to interns/grads:

In uni/college, you're taught *how* to code something to achieve a goal, and 99% of the time the code will work and do the job in a lab.

But when building things for a real production environment, you learn the 100 ways how *not* to code, from seeing things break left right and centre - basically everything and anything can break your code, whether it is users, the OS, other people's code, legacy code, lag, concurrency, the alignment of the moon to your server...

A tool I built for my past company just got nominated for a European Data Science and AI award!!!

I'm over the moon that something I built is up for such an award. Be early next month before winners are announced. Oh and given I don't work there anymore, how I was told about it is a REALLY funny story .... I wasn't.

Saw a Linkedin post from my ex-manager congratulating the company and the org for great work done. He/They just forgot to mention the fact that me and another ex-employee did everything, left it practically finished and completely changed the direction of the project within the first month as their plans made no sense.

fuckers.

What are you doing with 2KB of ram?
1969: NASA - "We just put some guys on the moon and got them back to Earth safely."

2018: Me - "I'm just struggling to run a 10 line Java program that prints the answer to an addition problem to the console."

When your boss asks for a web application that has drag and drop, resize, popup, fade inand out, dynamic styling and mobile compatibility but must work on IE8
You feel like:
Mission: Go to the moon
Tools: Broom's stick
Yeah i'll just pretend to be a witch and fly away

1969:
-what're you doing with that 2KB of RAM?
-sending people to the moon

2017:
-what're you doing with that 1.5GB of RAM?
-running Slack

During the first rocket fly to the moon, they developed a calculator for the rocket scientists to calculate the flight.

Today's smartphones have the power to do the calculations for dozens of rockets at once, and what do I do with it?
I PLAY ANGRY BIRDS

That feeling when Windows wants to "Update and shut down", but it shuts down without updating!

Guys, next to the moon right now, Jupiter.
Get away from your pc and. Take a look. Pretty amazing.

To those that think they can't make it.
To those that are put down by those that don't understand you.
And to those that have never had a dream come true.

Not a rant, but the story of how I got into programming

I've always been into tech/electronics. I remember being told once that when I was 3, I used to take plug sockets to pieces. When I was 7, I built a computer with my dad.
There isn't a thing in my room that hasn't been dismantled and put back together again. Except for the things that weren't put back together again ;)

When I was 15, I got a phone for Christmas. It was a pretty crappy phone, the LG P350 (optimus ME). But I loved it all the same.
However I knew it could do a lot more. It ran a bloated, slow version of Android 2.2.
So I went searching, how can I make it faster, how to make it do more. And I found a huge community around Android ROMs. Obviously the first thing I did was flashed this ROM. Sure, there were bugs, but I was instantly in love with it. My phone was freed.

From there I went on to exploring what else can be done.
I wanted to learn how to script, so over the weekend I wrote a 1000 line batch (Windows cmd) script that would root the phone and flash a recovery environment onto it. Pretty basic. Lots of switch statements, but I was proud of it. I'd achieved something. It wasn't new to the world, but it was my first experience at programming.

But it wasn't enough, I needed more.
So I set out to actually building the roms. I installed Linux. I wanted to learn how to utilise Linux better, so I rewrote my script in bash.
By this time, I'd joined a team for developing on similar spec'd phones. Without the funds to by new devices, we began working on more radical projects.
Between us, we ported newer kernels to our devices. We rebased much of the chipset drivers onto newer equivalents to add new features.

And then..

Well, it was exam season. I was suffering from personal issues (which I will not detail), and that, with the work on Android, I ended up failing the exams.
I still passed, but not to the level I expected.

So I gave up on school, and went head first into a new kind of development. "continue doing what you love. You'll make it" is what I told myself.

I found python by contributing to an IRC bot. I learnt it by reading the codebase. Anything I didn't understand, I researched. Anything I wanted to do, google was there to help me through it.

Then it was exam season again. Even though I'd given up on school, I was still going. It was easier to stay in than do anything about it.
A few weeks before the exams, I had a panic attack. I was behind on coursework, and I knew I would do poorly on exams.
So I dropped out.
I was disappointed, my family was disappointed.
So I did the only thing I felt I could do. I set out to get a job as a developer.

At this stage, I'd not done anything special. So I started aiming bigger. Contributing to projects maintained by Sony and Google, learning from them. Building my own projects to assist with my old Android friends.
I managed to land a contract, however due to the stresses at home, I had to drop it after a month.
Everything was going well, I felt ready to get a full time job as a developer, after 2 years of experience in the community.

Then I had to wake up.
Unfortunately, my advisors (I was a job seeker at the time) didn't understand the potential of learning to be a developer. With them, it's "university for a skilled job".
They see the word "computer" on a CV, they instantly say "tech support".
I played ball, I did what I could for them. But they'd always put me down, saying I wasn't good enough, that I'd never get a job.
I hated them. I'd row with them every other day.

By God, I would prove them wrong.

And then I found them. Or, to be more precise, they found me. A startup in London got in contact with me. They seemed like decent people. I spoke with their developers, and they knew their stuff, these were people that I can learn from.
I travelled 4 hours to go for an interview, then 4 hours back.
When I got the email saying they'd move me to London, I was over the moon.
I did exactly what everyone was telling me I couldn't do.

1.5 years later, I'm still working with them. We all respect each other, and we all learn from each other.

I'm ever grateful to them for taking a shot with me. I had no professional experience, and I was by no means the most skilled individual they interviewed.

Many people have a dream. I won't lie, I once dreamed of working at Google. But after the journey I've been through, I wouldn't have where I am now any other way. Though, in time, I wish to share this dream with another.
I hope that all of you reach your dreams too.

Sorry for the long post. The details are brief, but there are only 5k characters ;)

In an alternate universe, Soviet Russia won the Race to the moon, the Cold War wasn't actually "Cold". And Russia took all of America's technology. Changed the programming languages to Russian. You're now forced to code in Russian.

Write about what you'd do, Comrade.

When you get a notification 🔔 like this one... The fucking moon 🎑 gets decent 4g before I do 😱😲...

A Geologist and a developer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the developer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Developer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Developer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the Developer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"

The Developer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.

Now, it's the developer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The developer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the developer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"

Without a word, the developer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

Finally got my new laptop. I'm over the moon. A sweet 6 core beast :)

When you realize the legacy PHP code you're working in has a class you're extending with over 2000 lines and you think, "Nope, this isn't a class, it's a university."

guys my linux is not booting !
reply:
Find a forest, where no human has ever set foot.
Wait until the full moon rises, and then sacrifice x virgins, where x is the month of the year.
Spill their blood on your device, and wrap in parma ham (if your religion forbids you to make contact with ham, replace it with high quality carpaccio. If you're vegan get youreslf a rope).
Then, build an altar to the gnu God, with feet spelling GPL, and a head that like of a gnu.
When this is done, you shall bow down three times to the altar (thirty if you use tabs), place your wrapped bloody system on the altar, and proceed with dancing on Staying Alive, except you will have adapted the lyrics to your system.
When you are done dancing and chanting, you shall lie down in front of the altar, and you shall not gaze upon your system till daybreak.
Then when the sun rises (sorry if you're in the uk, or one of the poles) you will marvel at your system, thanking the ever potent gnu god forever.

The funniest shit I have ever read 🤣 ... had to share

Here are the reasons why I don't like IPv6.

Now I'll be honest, I hate IPv6 with all my heart. So I'm not supporting it until inevitably it becomes the de facto standard of the internet. In home networks on the other hand.. huehue...

The main reason why I hate it is because it looks in every way overengineered. Or rather, poorly engineered. IPv4 has 32 bits worth, which translates to about 4 billion addresses. IPv6 on the other hand has 128 bits worth of addresses.. which translates to.. some obscenely huge number that I don't even want to start translating.

That's the problem. It's too big. Anyone who's worked on the internet for any amount of time knows that the internet on this planet will likely not exceed an amount of machines equal to about 1 or 2 extra bits (8.5B and 17.1B respectively). Now of course 33 or 34 bits in total is unwieldy, it doesn't go well with electronics. From 32 you essentially have to go up to 64 straight away. That's why 64-bit processors are.. well, 64 bits. The memory grew larger than the 4GB that a 32-bit processor could support, so that's what happened.

The internet could've grown that way too. Heck it probably could've become 64 bits in total of which 34 are assigned to the internet and the remaining bits are for whatever purposes large IP consumers would like to use the remainder for.

Whoever designed IPv6 however.. nope! Let's give everyone a /64 range, and give them quite literally an IP pool far, FAR larger than the entire current internet. What's the fucking point!?

The IPv6 standard is far larger than it should've been. It should've been 64 bits instead of 128, and it should've been separated differently. What were they thinking? A bazillion colonized planets' internetworks that would join the main internet as well? Yeah that's clearly something that the internet will develop into. The internet which is effectively just a big network that everyone leases and controls a little bit of. Just like a home network but scaled up. Imagine or even just look at the engineering challenges that interplanetary communications present. That is not going to be feasible for connecting multiple planets' internets. You can engineer however you want but you can't engineer around the hard limit of light speed. Besides, are our satellites internet-connected? Well yes but try using one. And those whizz only a couple of km above sea level. The latency involved makes it barely usable. Imagine communicating to the ISS, the moon or Mars. That is not going to happen at an internet scale. Not even close. And those are only the closest celestial objects out there.

So why was IPv6 engineered with hundreds of years of development and likely at least a stage 4 civilization in mind? No idea. Future-proofing or poor engineering? I honestly don't know. But as a stage 0 or maybe stage 1 person, I don't think that I or civilization for that matter is ready for a 128-bit internet. And we aren't even close to needing so many bits.

Going back to 64-bit processors and memory. We've passed 32 bit address width about a decade ago. But even now, we're only at about twice that size on average. We're not even close to saturating 64-bit address width, and that will likely take at least a few hundred years as well. I'd say that's more than sufficient. The internet should've really become a 64-bit internet too.

I like to do astronomy and (very) basic astrophotography. First shot I took was of our moon. I try to get out at least once a week (depending on the conditions).

Stop it moon moon

Was scrolling some old photos and fell on that gift my bf gave me at Christmas 2016. The cover was so perfectly done, I thought for a few seconds it was a real special edition made by Nintendo just for the lolz...
Dat Moon Moon

Falcon Heavy launch coming up!
I can't wait. That's something people should watch, fuck the superbowl!
I would say it's 60% as significant as the moon landing was, if not more; a field of technology we should really focus on, but governments rather spend money on stupid war
Make sure to tune in tomorrow, 18:30 / 06:30pm UTC, on SpaceX's YouTube channel
It's going to be spectacular, success or failure

WASM was a mistake. I just wanted to learn C++ and have fast code on the web. Everyone praised it. No one mentioned that it would double or quadruple my development time. That it would cause me to curse repeatedly at the screen until I wanted to harm myself.

The problem was never C++, which was a respectable if long-winded language. No no no. The problem was the lack of support for 'objects' or 'arrays' as parameters or return types. Anything of any complexity lives on one giant Float32Array which must surely bring a look of disgust from every programmer on this muddy rock. That is, one single array variable that you re-use for EVERYTHING.

Have a color? Throw it on the array. 10 floats in an object? Push it on the array - and split off the two bools via dependency injection (why do I have 3-4 line function parameter lists?!). Have an image with 1,000,000 floats? Drop it in the array. Want to return an array? Provide a malloc ptr into the code and write to it, then read from that location in JS after running the function, modifying the array as a side effect.

My- hahaha, my web worker has two images it's working with, calculations for all the planets, sun and moon in the solar system, and bunch of other calculations I wanted offloaded from the main thread... they all live in ONE GIANT ARRAY. LMFAO.If I want to find an element? I have to know exactly where to look or else, good luck finding it among the millions of numbers on that thing.

And of course, if you work with these, you put them in loops. Then you can have the joys of off-by-one errors that not only result in bad results in the returned array, but inexplicable errors in which code you haven't even touched suddenly has bad values. I've had entire functions suddenly explode with random errors because I accidentally overwrote the wrong section of that float array. Not like, the variable the function was using was wrong. No. WASM acted like the function didn't even exist and it didn't know why. Because, somehow, the function ALSO lived on that Float32Array.

And because you're using WASM to be fast, you're typically trying to overwrite things that do O(N) operations or more. NO ONE is going to use this return a + b. One off functions just aren't worth programming in WASM. Worst of all, debugging this is often a matter of writing print and console.log statements everywhere, to try and 'eat' the whole array at once to find out what portion got corrupted or is broke. Or comment out your code line by line to see what in forsaken 9 circles of coding hell caused your problem. It's like debugging blind in a strange and overgrown forest of code that you don't even recognize because most of it is there to satisfy the needs of WASM.

And because it takes so long to debug, it takes a massively long time to create things, and by the time you're done, the dependent package you're building for has 'moved on' and find you suddenly need to update a bunch of crap when you're not even finished. All of this, purely because of a horribly designed technology.

And do they have sympathy for you for forcing you to update all this stuff? No. They don't owe you sympathy, and god forbid they give you any. You are a developer and so it is your duty to suffer - for some kind of karma.

I wanted to love WASM, but screw that thing, it's horrible errors and most of all, the WASM heap32.

Favorite/most hated language? (I love a good flame war)

Why did you quit your previous job / Moment you've considered quitting your current job?

Why do you think Linux is so much better than OSX? (Ahh yes I feed on apple flavored hipster tears)

What side project are you currently working on?

If you had the best teams and unlimited funds, to be used only on a serious project using both Blockchain, IoT and AI, what would you create?

If you forgot how to code, what other career would you pursue?

What is your "I was so busy wondering if I could, that I forgot whether I should" concept/idea/project?

How many chicken eggs would fit inside the moon if it was hollow? (I like retarded interview questions)

If you started a startup, what unique perk would you offer your developer employees?

Do you under- or overengineer?

Most unnecessary feature you ever had to create?

Most necessary feature your boss/client denied to approve?

Found an astronomy book from 1837 with instructions on how to build telescopes and drawings of the moon surface.

Programmers then:

No problem NASA mate, we can use these microcontrollers to bring men to the moon no problem!

Programmers now:

Help Stack Overflow, my program is kill.. isn't 90GB (looking at you Evolution) and 400GB of virtual memory (looking at you Gitea) for my app completely normal? I thought that unused memory was wasted memory!1!

(400GB in physical memory is something you only find in the most high-end servers btw)

OMG!
First green dot!
Touched moon ;-D

Pointer to the void: dynamic_cast<Moon*>(ptr)

!rant ~dev
Just got my first job in software. Over the moon.

Hope it didn't show up so far.
Don't want to start a war.. But does it say something about the efficiency of javascript? :D 145k lines to fly to the moon... 1,5billion to run a website? Legit.

Nasa landed on the moon with 4kb of ram. I can't draw 100x100 grid on canvas without lag with 1milion kb of ram...

People having sleep deprivation.

If your health is at stake, you may want to aim for maximum healing potential.
Humen always should prefer more natural substances and techniques.
As chemicals mostly alter the status quo but tackle the ultimate reason why.

Military has developed glasses that simulate the sunrise to wake you up / keep you awake.
That technique is like 20 years old. And who is gonna get those glasses for me?
Nowadays, studies published find humen feel more at ease by rising and sleeping with the sun and moon.
Having two weeks of camping once in a while is recommended. At least once a year.

Alternately you can try to regulate your days rhythm.
Start your day with a cup of hot speedwell tea.
Like every freaking day.
Its augmenting your activity thus easing your sleep at night.

Give every technique at least two weeks time to take effect.
And always remember :
Sleep is a thing that can be influenced but never will be controlled.

Good night ;P

You know what really grinds my gears? As a junior webdeveloper (mostly backend) I try my hardest to deliver quality content and other people's ignorance is killing me in my current job.

Let's rant about a recent project I had under my hood, for this project (a webshop) I had to restructure the database and had to include validation on basicly every field (what the heck, no validation I hear you say??), apperently they let an incompetent INTERN make this f***king webshop. The list of mistakes in this project can bring you close to the moon I'd say, seriously.

Database design 101 is basicly auto incremented ID's, and using IDs in general instead of using name (among a list of other stuff obv.). Well, this intern decided it was a good idea to filter a custom address-book module based on a NAME, so it wasn't setup as: /addressbook/{id} (unique ID, never a problem) but as /addressbook/{name}, which results in only showing one address if the first names on the addresses are the same. Lots of bugs that go by this type of incompetence and ignorance. Want to hear another joke? Look no further, this guy also decided it was a great idea to generate the next ID of an order. So the ordernumber wasn't made up by the auto incremented id on the order model, but by a count of all the orders and that was the next order number. This broke so many times, unbelievable.

To close the list of mistakes off, the intern decided it was a great idea to couple the address of a user directly to an order. Because the user is able to ship stuff to addresses within his addressbook, this bug could delete whole orders out of the system by simply deleting the address in your addressbook.

Enough about my intern rant, after working my ass of and going above and beyond the expectations of the customer, the guy from sales who was responsible for it showed what an a**hole he was. Lets call this guy Tom.

Little backstory: our department is a very small part of the company but we are responsible for so much if you think about it. The company thinks we've transitioned to company wide SCRUM, but in reality we are so far from it. I think the story below is a great example of what causes this.

Anyway, we as the web department work within Gitlab. All of our issues and sprints are organized and updated within this place. The rest of the company works with FileMaker, such a pile of shit software but I've managed to work around its buggyness. Anyway, When I was done with the project described above I notified all the stakeholders, this includes Tom. I made a write-up of all the changes I had made to the project, including screenshots and examples, within Gitlab. I asked for feedback and made sure to tag Tom so he was notified of my changes to the project.

After hearing nothing for 2 weeks, guess who came to my desk yesterday? F**king tom asking what had changed during my time on the project. I told him politely to check Gitlab and said on a friendly tone that I had notified him over 2 weeks ago. He, I shit you not, blantly told me that he never looks on there "because of all the notifications" and that I should 'tell him what to do' within FileMaker (which I already had updated referencing Gitlab with the write-up of my changes). That dick move of him made me lose all respect for this guy, what an ignorant piece of shit he is afterall.

The thing that triggers me the most in the last story is that I spent so much free time to perfect the project I was working on (the webshop). I even completed some features which weren't scheduled during the sprint I was working on, and all I was asking for was a little appreciation and feedback. Instead, he showed me how ignorant and what a dick he was.

I absolutely have no reason to keep on working for this company if co-workers keep treating me like this. The code base of the webshop is now in a way better condition, but there are a dozen other projects like this one. And guess what? All writen by the same intern.

/rant :P

I'm struggling with a bug. It's not my bug, it's in a lib - in an assembly function commented as "this is where the magic happens". After 27 hours of trying to determine what triggers said bug my best guess is it's a relationship between the position of Mimas and the mood of my neighbour's chonker. If it's not triggered by the Saturn's moon and a pet animal... I'm out of ideas.

Now how do I break it to my PM that we have to kill a cat?

Friday
13th
last month
full moon
17.40

who's deploying today? :)

Drinking good whiskey, listening to Chopin and birds singing, looking at moon.
I can do it for the rest of my life.

when the moon hits your eye
like a big pizza pie,
that's amore

when a file you don't need
exceeds 50mb,
.gitignore

I think I have to leave the EU.
This is the straw to break the camel's back finally.

I am very disappointed, EU parliament.

Maybe Swiss, or Norway... or the moon, hmm...

Anyone care to explain why programs nowadays use so much bloody RAM? We went to the moon on what amounted to a bunch of potatoes wired to each other, Linux (a whole bloody OS) with a graphical interface consumes only a couple hundred MB of RAM, but my IDE needs 1+GB?

Seriously, unless you're handling very large amounts of data (like a high res image or doing some insanely crazy math, I doubt there's any need for such high usage. I get it, 8/16GB is commonplace, but that doesn't mean more should be used for shits and giggles...

Did you hear about the new currency called "Bragging Rights"? It's gonna go to the moon!

How difficult is it to do things and do them properly? Clearly in 2019, very difficult. And why on Earth would you do things properly, when there's get rich quick schemes, shortcuts to be found and taken, and that filthy filthy legal tender. If the shitty implementation makes a profit, why do it properly? Makes no sense.

Except it fucking does. And you know why? Because of the guy that comes after you, that works with your fucking bullshit implementation and probably curses you to the moon and beyond in the process. Just like you probably did with the guy that came before you, with that bullshit you got tasked to work with. Don't be that guy. And don't be that guy to the next guy.

Still with me? Good. Here's the thing. You can do [insert job here] quick and dirty. But you're guaranteed to be checking back on it and fixing the crap later on. Or worse yet, someone else will be cursing you to the moon and beyond while they are fixing / working around your crap. So why not do it right in the first place? Is this why we can't have nice things?

How I met python
[long read but worth]

There's nothing wrong with falling in love with a programming language for her looks. I mean, let's face it - Python does have a rockin' body of modules, and a damn good set of utilities and interpreters on various platforms. Her whitespace-sensitive syntax is easy on the eyes, and it's a beautiful sight to wake up to in the morning after a long night of debugging. The way she sways those releases on a consistent cycle - she knows how to treat you right, you know?

But let's face it - a lot of other languages see the attention she's getting, and they get jealous. Really jealous. They try and make her feel bad by pointing out the GIL, and they try and convince her that she's not "good enough" for parallel programming or enterprise-level applications. They say that her lack of static typing gives her programmers headaches, and that as an interpreted language, she's not fast enough for performance-critical applications.

She hears what those other, older languages like Java and C++ say, and she thinks she's not stable or mature enough. She hears what those shallow, beauty-obsessed languages like Ruby say, and she thinks she's not pretty enough. But she's trying really hard, you know? She hits the gym every day, trying to come up with new and better ways of JIT'ing and optimizing. She's experimenting with new platforms and compilation techniques all the time. She wants you to love her more, because she cares.

But then you hear about how bad she feels, and how hard she's trying, and you just look into her eyes, sighing. You take Python out for a walk - holding her hand - and tell her that she's the most beautiful language in the world, but that's not the only reason you love her.

You tell her she was raised right - Guido gave her core functionality and a deep philosophy she's never forgotten. You tell her you appreciate her consistent releases and her detailed and descriptive documentation. You tell her that she has a great set of friends who are supportive and understanding - friends like Google, Quora, and Facebook. And finally, with tears in your eyes, you tell her that with her broad community support, ease of development, and well-supported frameworks, you know she's a language you want to be with for a long, long time.

After saying all this, you look around and notice that the two of you are alone. Letting go of Python's hand, you start to get down on one knee. Her eyes get wide as you try and say the words - but she just puts her finger on your lips and whispers, "Yes".

The moon is bright. You know things are going to be okay now.

Just wasted a ton of time trying to figure out why my circuit wouldnt work properly and then noticed...

So today I got an email about a job opportunity. The email was in romainian. This is the exact translation and bear in mind that in romanian as in every other language (I guess) alot of english phrases sound very cringy. This is the email:

We need a fearless hero for the IT realm!
X company, a thriving insurance community, is looking for a real hero of software development that can make code using the .NET mystical hammer that can only be lifted by a worthy, deserving and responsible warrior.

You can't fly? Can't shoot lasers? You are not wasting your night time by looking at the moon on tall blocks wearing a cape? Then you could be the hero we need.

Do not worry, the position does not imply superhuman strength :)) However, it requires intellectual strength and attention to detail. You can even use your powers from a comfortable chair in a welcoming team full of other heroes ready to help you. We won't leave you alone, after all even Batman has Robin :))

I have attached all the information you need. Only The Chosen One can open the document so you will know immediately if you are right. :))

If you want to be responsible with your strength, then I'm waiting for your updated English resume with all your heroic deeds in the past.

Remember, not all heroes wear capes!

... WHAT THE FUCK IS .NET MYSTICAL HAMMER??? AND WHO THE FUCK USES ":))" IN AN EMAIL??

What would you do if your colleague did not believe in vaccination, thought carbon dating was wrong, we didn't go to the moon, and wanted to buy you a drink?
I've practically stopped drinking at company functions, simply to keep my distance. I'm afraid stupidity might be contagious...

I AM TIRED

warning: this rant is going to be full of negativity , CAPS, and cursing.

People always think and they always write that programming is an analytical profession. IF YOU CANNOT THINK IN AN ANALYTICAL WAY THIS JOB IS NOT FOR YOU! But the reality could not be farther from the truth.

A LOT of people in this field whether they're technical people or otherwise, just lack any kind of reasoning or "ANALYTICAL" thinking skills. If anything, a lot of of them are delusional and/or they just care about looking COOL. "Because programming is like getting paid to solve puzzles" *insert stupid retarded laugh here*.

A lot of devs out there just read a book or two and read a Medium article by another wannabe, now think they're hot shit. They know what they're doing. They're the gods of "clean" and "modular" design and all companies should be in AWE of their skills paralleled only by those of deities!

Everyone out there and their Neanderthal ancestor from start-up founders to developers think they're the next Google/Amazon/Facebook/*insert fancy shitty tech company*.

Founder? THEY WANT TO MOVE FAST AND GET TO MARKET FAST WITH STUPID DEADLINES! even if it's not necessary. Why? BECAUSE YOU INFERIOR DEVELOPER HAVE NOT READ THE STUPID HOT PILE OF GARBAGE I READ ONLINE BY THE POEPLE I BLINDLY COPY! "IF YOU'RE NOT EMBARRASSED BY THE FIRST VERSION OF YOU APP, YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG" - someone at Amazon.

Well you delusional brainless piece of stupidity, YOU ARE NOT AMAZON. THE FIRST VERSION THAT THIS AMAZON FOUNDER IS EMBARRASSED ABOUT IS WHAT YOU JERK OFF TO AT NIGHT! IT IS WHAT YOU DREAM ABOUT HAVING!

And oh let's not forget the tech stacks that make absolutely no fucking sense and are just a pile of glue and abstraction levels on top of abstraction levels that are being used everywhere. Why? BECAUSE GOOGLE DOES IT THAT WAY DUH!! And when Google (or any other fancy shit company) changes it, the old shitty tech stack that by some miracle you got to work and everyone is writing in, is now all of a sudden OBSOLETE! IT IS OLD. NO ONE IS WRITING SHIT IN THAT ANYMORE!

And oh my god do I get a PTSD every time I hear a stupid fucker saying shit like "clean architecture" "clean shit" "best practice". Because I have yet to see someone whose sentences HAVE TO HAVE one of these words in them, that actually writes anything decent. They say this shit because of some garbage article they read online and in reality when you look at their code it is hot heap of horseshit after eating something rancid. NOTHING IS CLEAN ABOUT IT. NOTHING IS DONE RIGHT. AND OH GOD IF THAT PERSON WAS YOUR TECH MANAGER AND YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM RUNNING THEIR SHITHOLE ABOUT HOW YOUR SIMPLE CODE IS "NOT CLEAN". And when you think that there might be a valid reason to why they're doing things that way, you get an answer of someone in an interview who's been asked about something they don't know, but they're trying to BS their way to sounding smart and knowledgable. 0 logic 0 reason 0 brain.

Let me give you a couple of examples from my unfortunate encounters in the land of the delusional.

I was working at this start up which is fairly successful and there was this guy responsible for developing the front-end of their website using ReactJS and they're using Redux (WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS TO ELIMINATE PASSING ATTRIBUTES FOR THE PURPOSE OF PASSING THEM DOWN THE COMPONENT HIERARCHY AGIAN). This guy kept ranting about their quality and their shit every single time we had a conversation about the code while I was getting to know everything. Also keep in mind he was the one who decided to use Redux. Low and behold there was this component which has THIRTY MOTHERFUCKING SEVEN PROPERTIES WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS BE PASSED DOWN AGAIN LIKE 3 TO 4 TIMES!.

This stupid shit kept telling me to write code in a "functional" style. AND ALL HE KNOWS ABOUT FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING IS USING MAP, FILTER, REDUCE! And says shit like "WE DONT NEED UNIT TESTS BECAUSE FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING HAS NO ERRORS!" Later on I found that he read a book about functional programming in JS and now he fucking thinks he knows what functional programming is! Oh I forgot to mention that the body of his "maps" is like 70 fucking lines of code!

Another fin-tech company I worked at had a quote from Machiavelli's The Prince on EACH FUCKING DESK:

"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things."

MOTHERFUCKER! NEW ORDER OF THINGS? THERE 10 OTHER COMPANIES DOING THE SAME SHIT ALREADY!

And the one that got on my nerves as a space lover. Is a quote from Kennedy's speech about going to the moon in the 60s "We choose to go to the moon and do the hard things ..."

YOU FUCKING DELUSIONAL CUNT! YOU THINK BUILDING YOUR SHITTY COPY PASTED START UP IS COMPARABLE TO GOING TO THE MOON IN THE 60S?

I am just tired of all those fuckers.

My grandpa just called me and asked if I could remove some Facebook notifications from his phone. I know it's been milked to the moon and back, but I'm a programmer, not IT.
I guess I don't blame him, though; in his mind, that's probably what all programmers do.
Here's the real wtf thing: he told me that after I messed with his phone last time I saw him, it's been sooo much faster. WTF I NEVER MESSED WITH YOUR PHONE ALL I DID WAS ADD MY CONTACT INFO

why me

Only expert developers with nads the size of a small moon test their code on live environments.

In my unenlightened youth, when programming was a module in my college diploma that didn't seem to be taking me where I wanted to go, I had a couple of guys guy in my class that could arguably be the weird ones.

Jonny, although he asserted that he was to be called "Jonhty", whatever, we never did. He was pretty much top of the high school food chain and for some reason elected to study computer science, none of us was prepared to put up with his shit. He was always boasting about some fanciful claim or another, famously entering the classroom and exclaiming he'd "fucked an absolute milf" and seemed somewhat evasive about the answer, turns out he was 17 and she was 35, the age difference was greater than his own age. We burst out laughing. He would also turn up late and state the college bus was late (it wasn't I got the free bus every day, he'd just not got out his wanking chariot early enough).

One valentine's day we got him a card from a mysterious stranger which was accompanied by a package containing a cucumber and Vaseline, the inside of the card read "to assist you in the following request: please go fuck yourself".

Before you think we were being unduly harsh, we had a centre table where we'd be taught from with computers around the outer rim of the room. He'd come up behind people while at the centre desk, quietly press ctrl+P and slowly walk back to the printer. I saw him do it to my machine and I got to the printer first, to which he shouted "that's MY work" which was amusing because unbeknownst to him I had put headers on all my documents so he really didn't have an answer for why my name was at the top of every page.

To top it all off he had dead eyes, there didn't appear to be much going on but the rent, there was no spark of intelligent life, and while I thought it, I never said it out loud, but other students did and I had to agree. He was just copying his way to graduation. However, he ultimately didn't graduate when people refused to allow him to copy.

Another guy, Richard I believe his name was, which is just as well because he was a right dick. In the UK our word for white trash is "chav" (that's a very naïve explanation for it but that's another rant best left for "socialsciencerant") and he was an complete idiot who was gifted with more brain cells than he ever needed to use. He actually studied hard and got reasonable grades, probably on par with me, but he boasted about smoking weed all the time, he was forever playing dark side of the moon via his loud mp3 player. I kinda left him alone generally until he was high in class one time and while we we're watching a documentary he'd shake my chair and make a weird noise in my ear every few minutes, the first couple of times startled me, the remaining multi-dozen times pissed me off.

It all came to a head with this guy when I'd been hearing about his uninteresting bs on drugs, music and how best to spend my time ("you need to lighten up man, come round my house, take a joint and relax man", that sorta thing), well this guy walked like he was mid way through shitting himself so I personally think that perhaps he is too chilled. Anyway he's arguing with me and after the exchange of him making his point, me disagreeing and expecting the end of it, he made the mistake of saying two words to me:

"Listen, mate..."

And I had him in check mate.

"Listen, I ain't your fucking mate , I don't even like you, you're a disruptive annoying twat that thinks he knows it all, we're all 17, none of us know anything, so shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and stop boring me with your drugs, I ain't interested, and for the record I think pink Floyd ruined prog rock!"

He looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes, and started with the "but, why?", However I was interrupted and had to leave the class for unrelated reasons, I returned to be told he'd put safety pins up right on my chair so I'd sit on them, and mutual friends who TD me I'd been cruel and that he doesn't was hurt, so I should apologize, he overheard and said he was sorry for bring a bit of a dick.

However, you just know when you don't get on with someone? Yeah, that. So I said I wasn't sorry for what I said, for while it was harsh, I am not his mate, nor did I want to be his mate and that was all I had to say on the subject, and that if he wants to take offensive to a nobody not liking him then he's in for a very rough time in life.

Unsurprisingly I don't keep in touch with anyone from college!

So there was that paranoid schizophrenic person, a blonde girl with a buzz cut, and somehow she was a friend of mine. She used a Linux distro called “!!!!!!!!____!!!!!”, and convinced me it was the best distro out there. But the way she used it was… very specific.

She called me. She told me the new distro was out, this time it was called “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, and _this_ was the best one. It finally allowed her to observe the area around her neighbourhood right from her PC, through some app, and make pits in the ground. It was done with a touchscreen of a Nintendo DSi connected to her PC with something that looked like an IDE cable. You touch the area of the screen, and the pit will appear outside IRL. This was needed to trap swine-looking creatures in those pits, as they infested the land and were attacking people in packs, turning them into dirty, greyish, half-transparent lumps of gel.

I went to see her, and somehow I knew exactly how it's going to end, as if I decided to replay a game level. She lived in a rotten, mouldy, dark, half-abandoned condo building. She was also a terrible hoarder. I approach the old wooden door of her flat. It was painted over 1000 times and was barely closing. She knew I would come. She rushed outside, looked at me with her moon-sized eyes, grabbed my arm and told me:
“We have to run.”

I felt a sudden crippling rush of anxiety. I woke up. My heart was absolutely racing. My sight became darker and darker. The chest pain was consuming me, and I could barely move. I almost vomited.

That was quite a night.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I'm fucking sick of my experience with the world.

I have a feeling that all that 1984 conspiracy type of ideas that I previously considered bullshit and fear mongering are real.

(Just to be clear, I'm not including most conspiracy theories which are very ignorant like flat earth, fake moon landing, or antivax, the people that spread those theories can die a horrible death IMHO).

Corporation consolidation is a fact and appears to become irreversible.

Because of technology, I can stay in the comfort of my house, safe from crime and be entertained without needing to have direct contact with humans.
People might say "that's your fault for not leaving the house". True but that is just how the world is.

The outside world in the cities I lived in is not a welcoming place.
Hell if you fucking find a bench it's a goddamn miracle, and if you do and sit for a long time, the police stares at you like you are up to something.

People don't talk to you because "don't talk to strangers".
It can be rare to find water or a bathroom that isn't a complete shithole.

So no wonder I rather stay at home, the outside world is hostile.

So yeah, go to a mall or something. And consume, consume, consume, because the outdoors suck.

Many pioneers thought technology was to improve the quality of life.

But no, it's just more isolation, less direct contact with people, less giving a fuck about other people.

And that's how feel about people of today. The least amount of fuck giving about others possible.

You would you would connect to more people faster, but no, the result is just millions of people browsing through the same "entertainment", shitty aggregated content.

Yes, consolidation affects internet too. Everything goes through fucking google, youtube, or whatever other fucking top 10 company.

Just like the class disparity, 1% of the things online get 99% of the exposure.

So if you're a small time anything, basically fuck you, because you're not something enormous.

Like, I wished I was a game developer, but there's thousands of brilliant indie games that get released every year, and they barely make what they're worth.
So why should I fucking try? So I can get ruined financially and I don't have a place to live in?

Software itself is so complex that is impossible to scrutinize decently.
We all laugh at congressmen asking the zuck silly questions.

Out of touch, true, but in hindsight, it is true to some extent that software is hard to regulate. Every software I on earth doesn't meet some standard one way or another.

Or maybe it's just too many of us right now.
When people scroll their search results to get access to the things they should be interested in, the only practical interface right now is being showing one link at a time.
But there's millions and millions of results.

One redeeming aspect of life is that one day I won't be alive anymore to observe the disgusting world we live in.

This could be just pure rambling and I can't prove any of the things I'm saying, I could just have been making the wrong friendships. So take this with a grain of salt.

> Startup: ok listen up, we got this super cool thing we want to do with Twilio. Doesn't get any easier: some calls to book a restaurant, you ask for booking data and save that on some db.
> iHateForALiving: I'm on it. We got a couple weeks of development, never worked with Twilio, but should be easy enough
> Startup: Hold it big guy, we can't just write code like this. There's this OTHER developer with a super cool framework he wrote himself, it supports OAuth2 and multitenancy, written in Huskell, microservices to authenticate several apps all working concurrently in our environment, some orchestrator, cloud computing on AWS, you're going to love it. There's this Postman project with 200-something calls (the ones I need for my project, one and only consumer for those APIs, are 5 including the login)
> iHateForALiving: You are aware you'll have approximately six clients and they'll pay some 30 bucks each per month, aren't you?
> Startup: You don't understand, this infrastructure is CRITICAL for the future of our company
> ffwd 6 months
> iHateForALiving: guys we had this 2 weeks project and it's taking months, I'm ready, what is going on there?
> Startup: someone killed our DB, the OTHER developer pushed on git the access credentials :(

THE FULL MOON IS DRAWING NEAR AND THE FUCKING WERECODERS STRIKE AGAIN!

!dev

A child's mind is fascinating.

I remember how it felt being a kid, just deliriously happy.

Things were magical, mystical and happy.

I knew the world wasn't perfect, I knew bad things happened to good people.

But a kid's mind is so powerful that it can fill in the blanks with the most cheerful and optimistic perspectives.

And at some point in my childhood I was exposed to videogames, and that kinda took me down fantasy lane even further.

I was extremely young and barely retaining any memories when I was exposed to my first console, a famicom.

I have a somewhat vivid memory of my mind being blown away for the first time by watching my brother play New Ghostbusters II for NES.

From then on, we never stopped and played several console and dos/pc games.

When I was 10, someone from the neighborhood brought in a couple of floppys with Pokemon Yellow.

"What? Pokemon? How the fuck is that even possible? This is a pc, not a gameboy".

I didn't know at the time what an emulator was, but I was super fucking stoked to be able to play that.

My dad had a 1 gb laptop from work that he didn't use, so I hoarded that shit, and I would get to bed and play nearly everyday.

The experience was surreal. I was doing pc gaming... not on a chair, on a fucking bed, and I was playing a gameboy game... on a pc.

It was so intense to me, that even after more than 2 decades of that time in my life, I still remember how it feels like.

Like, you know how you can "feel" things if you think about them? like for example if you think about the taste of chicken, you can somehow feel it for a second.

Well I have like an actual physical sensation linked to that experience but I can't explain it at all, because it's just a sensation.

I think people usually say they feel that way, for example, about the PSX (usually refered to as ps one) loading screen. I experienced that too but when I was 12, so it was not as intense (it does make me feel the fuzzies though).

I also remember other things with very high detail, like the texture of my bed cover, the weather, mom cooking, the clunky shape of the laptop, the way I carelessly stored it above a pile of magazines, etc.

I rememeber ofc how it felt looking at the game sprites, interacting with NPCs, and the goddamn fucking glorious music.

It was dreamy.

Years and years later, I grew up and I stopped living in fantasy world and became more aware of the grim aspects of life my younger self was sugarcoating.

So I tried to play pokemon again, again and again, and no matter how hard I tried to revive that euphoria, I could not never do it.

I started to get annoyed at the game.

"Come oooon, I did the tutorial already, let me skip this.
This pokemon is useless, why am I even training it.
Fuck, I'm tired of grinding"

At some point I accepted that the feeling would never return, and that it would just live in my memory.

Ironically, I can recall that memory and how it felt anytime I want to.

And I can actually still feel it, and throughtout these years, it has never wore down.

And eventually I learned how to play pokemon and enjoy it:

I read tier lists at smogon online and just catch and train the pokemons that are higher on the list, which is how i got to beat yellow in like 3 days.

(This is nothing compared to what speedrunners do, but much better than the weeks it had taken me in the past).

That served as an important lesson that when a kid plays a game, his mind is also the game at the same time, filling the blanks with its imagination.

A very similar experience happened to me with harvest moon, which is the precursor of stardew valley.

and that game is faaar more emotional: you talk to people, overtime you befriend them and they open up, you meet a girl, you marry her, have a kid

you get farm animals, you brush them, they become happy

you get attached

that game was also so powerful in me that in all naiveness I thought I wanted to be a farmer.

Eventually I grew up and hit puberty and from then on, I focused more on competitive games, like smash bros, cs and tf2.

and i dunno how to end a post so eat my fucking nuts

Working with Android DatePicker is such a pain in the ass.

You want to have your DatePicker appearing as a SpinnerView? Well, easy!

If you're under API 21, you can use the following method 'setSpinnerViewShown()'. If you're between API 21 and API 23 you need to add some style configuration. And if you're above of API 23 you can't use both of the methods above, you need to create a custom xml with the attribute "datePickerMode" (no, datePickerMode can't be set programmatically, it would be too easy to guess).

If you want to add a listener to it, you think it might be a method called 'setDateChangeListener' or something like this? Well no! You must use the 'init(year, month, day, Listener)' method, logic!

If you think you're finished with this bullshit, of course not. Their is a known bug on API 21 that you must take into account (but this bug isn't fixed, no, it's just documented somewhere on google forums).

I don't know the team that designed the DatePicker for Android, but it might a team of champanzee that randomly changed their minds to the phases of the moon!

People caught using emojis in code should be driven into the sea.

Otherwise one day its gonna just be straight magic, without reason or understanding.

You're gonna type a bunch of moon runes into a glowing floaty interface, pour the blood of a chicken into a collector tray (totally not a pentagram) and "shit just happens" (tm).

And "scholars" (neckbeards) will spend all their time shape-in-wrong-hole idiocracy-style button mashing their mystical ouija board IDEs in the grim dark future, looking for combinations that do something useful.

Every time it glows red? Compile error.

Every time it glows green? Christmas is near, congrats it compiled.

Every time it sets off a mystical air siren (henceforth known as "fusrohdah"), runtime error. And probably explosions.

In the grim dark future of Apple 40k. A.D, there is only war, warp demons, and pending VSCode updates.

That moment when you have to deliver a project and you get dragged to a smashing full moon beach party. Well...bring on the vodka. Life is life.

Me: what we want our users to do is inherently complex. We can't make it "iPhone-intuitive", this thing needs instructions.

my boss: we have put people on the moon

me thinking: how intuitive do you think that rocket was

By the time my gradle build finishes, I can walk to moon and get back 🤪

I really hate the childish corporate culture at some tech companies. Today I received my Christmas "gift" from my employer. It was a branded chocolate bar and a sticker pack. The stickers were designed by our UX designers, and the stickers look like they are made for little toddlers at kindergarten. The stickers said things like "Make Friends!" and "To The Moon!". Jesus Christ, are we little kids? The average age of an employee at my company is around 30 years old, and those are the stickers you give us? Stickers are childish anyways, but it seems like 50% of my autistic colleagues seem to like putting those ugly things on their laptops to lick the boots of upper management.

The office itself literally looks like a kindergarten. There's LEGO artwork on the walls and the "Make Friends!" and "To The Moon!" nonsense and similar motivational bullshit is plastered on all the walls. Seriously, who ever thought it's a good idea to tell 30 year old adults to "make friends!". I already have my friends, I don't need to be friends with anyone at work, and I definitely don't need to be told to do so!

Even funnier than that is the fact that the whole "To The Moon!" bullshit is a phrase introduced by upper management to symbolize their effort and wish to make our company bigger and stronger by having a bigger market share. Basically it's the rich peeps from upper management telling us to work harder and make them more successful. Today I had a meeting in which they told me they wouldn't increase my salary because they have a tight budget this year because of the economic problems we're currently facing. But that doesn't stop them from childishly motivating us with bullshit like "To The Moon!" so they can become richer themselves, while the little people at the bottom of the pyramid need to work harder without extra pay.

The most annoying part of this is that many employees lick the boots of upper management and go along with all this bullshit. God I hate cringy childish corporate culture so much.

Hello my Friends.

TL;DR i meditate as I draw, here’s the result. What about you?!

Does any of you exercise on any kind of meditation? Not the popular meditation forms, more alternative meditation? I. E. walking meditation, dancing meditation, reading medidation, etc. ? Remember, it’s all about being here and now and letting go of any pre-programmed thoughts, right?

I myself, have a ritual which is performes once-twice a year. I call it drawing meditation. When daylight ends, and the moon rises, I sit at my desk in a dark room with one light, which is hanging aboce the white sheet of paper. I take black pencil, turn on some music mildly and turn off my thought receiving part of the brain. I hear every thought which is passing by, but I have no attachment to it. My hands are drawing, without my interception. It feels amazing, and I believe this method helps me to clean up some space in subconscious file system.

This activity of mine, takes strangly short/long time. Once I’ve sat for about 16hours, once 6hours.

Furthermore, I’m always amazed by the abstract art pieces which are the end result. I’m attaching the image of the last drawing made in this way to the post.

Can I hear what you see in it?

Earth to Moon - 238,900 mi
Moon to Earth - 238,900 mi
New york to London - 3,459 mi
London to New york - 3,459 mi

Monday to Friday - 5
Friday to Monday - WTF!!!

Aaarrrrghhhh! I am frustrated.

My manager keeps cancelling our 1:1, which I look forward to as a potential platform for
- Me to build a rapport
- Discuss key decisions
- Slowly gain her trust that I can lead the entire product

And whenever we connect once in a blue moon, she started inviting two other team members in. Who the hell does that!!!

My colleague, she is nice and hard-working. But she fucking talks a lot. A FUCKING LOT.

1:1 and such key connects are not meant for status updates and this colleagues goes into every minor detail and explains the shit for 15 minutes each. Non-stop. No one really cares or bothers for that level of statuses.

Today she spoke for 30 minutes without a breather break. Everyone went numb.

But whatever, fuck it. I am getting things done by her so let her talk. I'll get my way through manager and skip level guy.

On the other side, they recruited a half witted potato for training. That was completely unnecessary. I am not putting in my time and efforts on someone who isn't willing to learn and contribute.

I spent more than a week explaining her basics of how to write a god damn user story and detailed functional requirements.

And even after 5 rounds of feedback (45 minutes each) the potato is stuck on colour of the button and alignment.

GOD DAMN FUCK! SOMEONE KILL ALL THE MORONS WHO CANNOT UNDERSTAND BASICS AFTER SO MUCH EXPLANATION.

I was really an impatient guy in past but over the years, I developed to be more calm and forgiving. Yet some people manage to get on my every nerve.

How the fuck am I supposed to grow when I am being dragged down instead being with smart colleagues where we can just accelerate to success!!!!

This is fucking mental. Nextjs is a fucking unoptimized piece of fucking trash framework. When i dont touch it for several days magically everything breaks and no longer works. What the FUCK is this garbage framework.

Also i just npm run dev after 3 days of not touching the project, when it started routing is fucking dead, freezes and loading forever, getting stuck at UI, checked activity monitor just to see this piece of fucking cum eat 330-390% of my fucking CPU

Powered by Shitcel

Nextjs unstable cum gargled bullshit garbage framework for script kiddies who think they know shit about programming but they're mindless retards who know nothing about security, jwt tokens or even devops infrastructure or IaC. Fucking useless overexaggerated trillions of dollars of marketing budget for Shitcel's framework called nextjs is not as good as the fake marketing campaign portrayed it to be. It was all a fabricated lie. A fascade. A hollywood shitshow. A faked moon landing type of framework. A fucking meme framework. Fucking pissed off for wasting my time learning it

Rant/story

Ok, I've always respected my PM and took everything on me, but since a while I start getting bored at work and realised many wrong things with the company and management in general.

So, brief contextual situation for you guys, I used to be very shy, unconfident and submissive. That was 2 years ago. Now am much more confident and got my own techniques in managing my constant "in the moon"-mind and relational discussions with colleagues. No more stuttering and am now answering on the spot and focussed on the discussion.

So I was having a nice day extinguishing fires on our website, this evening my PM stressly-rushed into my office (which I share with 2 other colleagues), and pressured me into giving a phone call to some developer for a situation clarification: a Json endpoints seems to truncate text after some characters.

Just came back from the loo (not sorry for the details), had my thoughts about something else, as usual, and I was just like "chill, let me get my mind together and prepare myself to be on point for this phone call". Told her I need a few seconds and she was like "now now now" knowing me I'm a bit laid-back.

Grabbed the phone, saw she was laughing (always laughs whatever I do, I must be very funny) and went talking about me to my colleague (not backstabbing but like "I don't get why he needs to get prepped for a phone call"). I managed the phone call like a boss - like usual since I got more confident -, my pm left, I finished the call, went to her to tell her my conclusions on our issue, asked me if I checked the contract with our CMS company.

Told her nope, the Json is compatible with our DB-manager's API.

She coldly answered "right, will do it myself then", I was like ok, I know you won't do it, I'll get it done.

In 15 minutes I found the contract, notified her, analyzed it, and wrote a technical email to support.

Seriously, stop taking me for some retarded person and let me breathe

Huh.

I miss blimps, concordes and space races. I miss moon landings. Meanwhile Nepal runs GMT+5:45.

Why is it that you guys are not seeing the big picture and reading between the fucken lines... why is it that people always have to run to legislation to fix their problems .... THIS IS WHY.. the other generation accomplished so much more because when there’s a problem they came up with a solution many times better than the status quo.
Those people are few and far between now.. those folks are the innovators. You know whom I’m referring to... those people didn’t whine to create laws to fix or protect their industry from competitors.
We need to stop looking toward our government to fix our issues... especially regarding this issue.. WHY because the people in government ARE NOT TECH PEOPLE!!! THEY DONT EVEN KNOW HOW COMPUTERS WORK! for Pete’s sake folks we had a lady in there who thought the term whip the server ment to literally clean it with a rag... come-on guys, do what they did years ago you don’t like something FIX IT.. by creating something new!
There’s a reason our grandparents generation made it to the fucken moon with less technology than a calculator, BECAUSE THEY PROBLEM SOLVED!
What have we achieved in the last 5 years that is really “big”... fucken apps

Unite together build the next internet learning from the issues we’ve seen with the internet over the last 30 years.. No it won’t be quick no it won’t be easy but nothing revolutionary is easy.
It took 6 years to land a man on the moon, I think we can rebuild the network infrastructure in that time OR FAR LESS if we unite together! Without the government interference we can eliminate the ISPs from the equation and screw them over for screwing us for so long

My group is has the solution, the vision and need, to get this done be we can’t do it alone I will make the official public statement within 24 hours of the vote results...
explaining everything, the plan, the work, EVERYTHING.
We need more people.
For reference the plan can be summarized like this.. nonprofit CoOp Tier 1 ISP.. members being the end users from both sides of the equation ...

TILL THEN
Contact me here,
Or SnapChat: theqsolution
Until I release all the contact info.

A few years ago I would whine, complain and rant about shitty software, which I knew could be so much better than it was. But I didn't yet write software of my own.

Now I complain about shitty libraries, API's and users. Not much has changed really. And every time I write code, I curse myself, and whoever made this trashpile I have to work with. I curse the user to the moon and beyond for using the program wrong. Funny thing is, exactly the thing I was complaining about (input validation, see earlier rant) is also exactly what no more than 5 minutes after release, a user fucked up with. The bot just does not respond at this point. But fuck these braindead retards for users.

In a few years I expect myself to be complaining about shitty compilers and buffer overflows, segmentation violations, bad coding style (don't make your program a fucking colander kthx), and so on.

Next decade I expect myself to be complaining about physics itself, and why the universe is governed by the laws it's governed by. Whoever this God is, he's a fucking retard. Funny thing is, the signs for it are already there. Electron theory! If only those electrons were positrons, then the math would check out properly. Instead of negative electrons traveling from negative to positive, we'd have positive positrons traveling from positive to negative. At least from what I understand so far, this is still a decade away after all.

The point I'm trying to make is that nothing changes, only my understanding of the world around me does, as I tumble further and further down the rabbit hole. Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill... Either complain about others' software or perhaps not give a shit at all. Become one of those filthy users I now despise.

When the QA reproducible steps might as well include all or one the following:

1. Stand upside down.
2. Wait till the moon turns red.
3. Hop on one foot.

THE WERECODER IS A WILD WOLF 29 DAYS PER MONTH, WITH FLEAS AND TICKS AND EVERYTHING, THEN ON THE 30rd DAY WITH THE FULL MOON IT WILL SHED ITS FUR, GROW TWO THUMBS AND COMMIT TO MASTER

Got a new guy. Having a dumb meeting. New guy is humblebragging. It is making the dumb meeting longer. I feel angry. Like Warren Moon must have felt in 1995. He is a PhD. That's probably why. Ugh.

Best part of living alone... lip syncing ktv (karaoke) and dancing like no one's watching.

Oh Happy Moon Festival

Every website we craft at work has some email substitution logic so that addresses you see on the site don't actually exist in the HTML source like that (you wouldn't find them in a format like "foo@example.com").

Instead the @ and the period right before the TLD get replaced with something else (to prevent (dumb) spam bots from using that address and blast it with junk).

Some people replaced them with images in the past (ew), replaced the @ with "(at)" or other stuff.

I made it a habit to render the @ and . by replacing them with span tags which then get a ::before in CSS that contains "content: '@';", so that the @ is visible but is not actually inside the HTML source code.

The classes for these spans then have a random name (persistent for that website though). The first one was called "move-along-nothing-to-see-here", but then I started naming them after Star Wars quotes.

One website's @ class is called "that-s-no-moon" (Obi Wan), others are called "i-have-a-bad-feeling-about-this" (Han Solo), "powerful-you-have-become-the-dark-side-I-sense-in-you." (Yoda) and "these-are-not-the-droids-you-are-looking-for" (Obi Wan).

So... ranters! Where are you from? Let's try to Make a chart with geographic distribution... what do you think?

PM: I need a brand new feature that we haven't had before and it has to have a framework backing it so that we can extend it to anywhere in the future. It also has to have X, Y, Z, it has to be able to tell the future, cure cancer, fly, and have a return on investment for us of 1000x. How long will that take?

Me (or any dev ever): Umm... well, that's kind of asking for the moon. The first few pieces will take as least 5 sprints. When do you need it by?

PM: Tomorrow. When can you have it?

Me: ......

Today was my last piano lesson with my jazzy teacher. I'll miss him. He teached me a lot and I nearly always looked forward to piano lessons.

I brought wine (Mosel life) and 5 songs - 3 jazz classics (It don't mean a Thing, Take Five and Fly me to the Moon), his favorite from the Daft Punk album I borrowed him and one of his own songs (surprise) and we improvised on these songs. I was a little nervous.. or sad but I didn't play as good as yesterday eve. He asked me why I never did that before. He'd love to practice improvising with me because I suck at reading sheet music (I said that and I'm a lazy learner with sheets).

R.I.P. Monday afternoon.

"If flowers could grow on the moon. I'd plant you a garden of stars. So you could see in the dark,
that you're not alone."

I have a poetry book coming out (eventually) called "Steal this poem."

To date, my poetry has gotten one guy laid. Thats good enough for me.

And if you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be a poet, now you too can be one.

Steal this poem.

So it's friday and I'm almost done with all my work and suddenly manager comes in and asks me that client wants to talk to you. I agree and we move into meeting room here is how conversation goes
(C)lient-There is some new feature we want to add -/Describes his feature which is somewhat like an existing feature we have. The feature needs many images which area already present/-
(M)e-Ohkay this can be done. How much time is allotted.
C- You can take a month or two -/I have fucking happy fucking over the moon beacuse i knew it wouldn't take more than 2 days-/
M-Sure
C- Yeah make sure the images are rotated manually.
M-*In Shock* Manually? You mean like i have to right click and then select rotate -/in which ever direction you mother is getting fucked?-/
C-Yeah..
M- But there is a tool which can do the same thing!
C-No the tool maybe wrong we want 100 percent accuracy.
M-*For a while like this -_-* I can start the tool and then manually check if any image is wrongly rotated.
C-No you can be wrong sometimes. .
-/Meanwhile the manager is giving me a stern look like/-
M-If i can be wrong after running tool why i can't BE WRONG WHEN I HAVE TO ROTATE THE IMAGE 10000 TIMESSSSS
C- do it manually.
*He cuts the call!*
I have no fucking option now! THESE FUCKING CLIENT'S AND THEIR BALL LICKING MANAGER FUCK MY LIFE FUCK MY JOB
I'LL DO IT BY SCRIPT ONLY FIRE ME YOU FUCKING MORONS
ASSHOLLESSS

Spent 2 hours trying get ng-model working with <select> with no success. Then co worker came and changed model from string to object and moon walked back to his seat.

hmm..

1. coronavirus is threatening the world
2. food delivery companies have no free slots for the next 3 days at least
3. the winds are so strong that they make windows seriously bend. Spooky stuff - haven't seen anything like this before in my life. Feels like one more gust and the window will break (wind speed -- 33+m/s)

well.. time to charge all the batteries in the house and find my zombie-apocalypse survival kit

P.S. any chance Corona is what's gonna make zombies?

P.P.S. tomorrow is Friday, the 13th and a full moon. Yiippeee!!!

compile with gcc, ./a.out: "Segmentation fault (core dumped)"

compile with clang, ./a.out: runs and fails.

compile with cc, ./a.out: Alternated between "Error: Too many arguments" and "Segmentation fault"...

ffs I'm done for the week I guess.
The problem is not that it fails, the problem is that it alternates because of time of compilation, power consumption, random blody oracles or the phase of the moon in a leap year on a Friday the 13th. God.Please.Send.~Nudes~. Help.

So for those of you keeping track, I've become a bit of a data munger of late, something that is both interesting and somewhat frustrating.

I work with a variety of enterprise data sources. Those of you who have done enterprise work will know what I mean. Forget lovely Web APIs with proper authentication and JSON fed by well-known open source libraries. No, I've got the output from an AS/400 to deal with (For the youngsters amongst you, AS/400 is a 1980s IBM mainframe-ish operating system that oriiganlly ran on 48-bit computers). I've got EDIFACT to deal with (for the youngsters amongst you: EDIFACT is the 1980s precursor to XML. It's all cryptic codes, + delimited fields and ' delimited lines) and I've got legacy databases to massage into newer formats, all for what is laughably called my "data warehouse".

But of course, the one system that actually gives me serious problems is the most modern one. It's web-based, on internal servers. It's got all the late-naughties buzzowrds in web development, such as AJAX and JQuery. And it now has a "Web Service" interface at the request of the bosses, that I have to use.

The programmers of this system have based it on that very well-known database: Intersystems Caché. This is an Object Database, and doesn't have an SQL driver by default, so I'm basically required to use this "Web Service".

Let's put aside the poor security. I basically pass a hard-coded human readable string as password in a password field in the GET parameters. This is a step up from no security, to be fair, though not much.

It's the fact that the thing lies. All the files it spits out start with that fateful string: '<?xml version="1.0" encoding="ISO-8859-1"?>' and it lies.

It's all UTF-8, which has made some of my parsers choke, when they're expecting latin-1.

But no, the real lie is the fact that IT IS NOT WELL-FORMED XML. Let alone Valid.

THERE IS NO ROOT ELEMENT!

So now, I have to waste my time writing a proxy for this "web service" that rewrites the XML encoding string on these files, and adds a root element, just so I can spit it at an XML parser. This means added infrastructure for my data munging, and more potential bugs introduced or points of failure.

Let's just say that the developers of this system don't really cope with people wanting to integrate with them. It's amazing that they manage to integrate with third parties at all...

IDK, man.. It feels like we're stuck.

Looking back at 19xx we got the Moon landing, basically, all the computer protocols that are the essence of what we have today, all the inventions' ideas patented (started even earlier -- 18xx), ...

To me, it feels like scientific progress was at its peak in the past 200 years and has now slowed down considerably.

IDK, perhaps I'm living under a rock, but all I can see is building consumerism on top of what's been discovered/created in the past 200 years and not actually creating/doing anything new and original and actually useful.

Don't you feel like we're stuck in the age where we're enjoying the fruits of discoveries made by our grandparents and are too lazy to make new ones?

If so, then what's next? When are we going to (if ever) get bored by the comfort zone we are in now? What follows then? Progress or regress? Or the MadMax IRL?

What do you lads think?

! First Apk
There is nothing else great feeling than making your first application's about us page.
Touched moon just now !
Bingo !

Stories like the one I'm about to tell you are just another reason why people hate Windows. I know I usually preach 'Don't hate everything' and shit, but this is a real big fucking deal when it hits your desktop for no reason.
Now, onto the actual story...

Background: Playing with my Oculus, fixing issues like forgetting to use USB3 and stuff. I learned about an issue with Nvidia GPUs, where in Windows, they can only support 4 simultaneous displays per GPU. I only have the one GPU in my system, Nova, so I have to unplug a monitor to get Oculus and its virtual window thingy working. Alright, friend gave me idea of using my old GPU to drive one of my lesser used monitors, my right one. Great idea I thought, I'll install it a bit later.

A bit later...

I plug the GPU in (after 3 tries of missing the PCI-E slot, fuckers) and for some reason I'm getting boot issues. It's booting to the wrong drive, sometimes it'll not even bother TRYING to boot, suddenly one of my hard drives isn't even being recognized in BIOS, fuck. Alright, is the GPU at least being recognized? Shit, it isn't. FUCKFUCKFUCK.

Oh wait. I just forgot the power cable Duh. Plug that in, same issues. Alright, now I have no idea. Try desperately to boot, but it just won't I start getting boot error 0xc000000f. Critical device not found. Alrighty then. Fuck my life, eh?

Remove the GPU, look around a bit while frantically trying to boot the system, and I notice an oddly bent SATA cable. I look at it and the bastard is FRAYED AT THE END! Fuck, that's my main SSD! I finally replace the SATA cable and boot, still the same error... Boot into a recovery environment, and guess what?

Windows has decided to change my boot partition, ya know, the FUCKING C: DRIVE, from NTFS to RAW format, stripping it of formatting! What the actual fuck Microsoft? You just took a shit on yourself while having a seizure on the fucking MOON! Fine, fuck you, I have recovery USB! Oh, shit, that won't boot... I have an old installation! Boot ITS recovery, try desperately to find a fix online... CHKDSK C: /F... alright, repairing, awesome! Repaired, I can see data, but not boot. So now I'm at the point where I'm waiting for a USB installer to be created over USB 2.0. Wheeeeeeeeee. FML.

THESE are the times I usually hate Windows a lot. And I do. But it gets MOST of my work done. Except when it does this.

I'm already pissed, so don't go into the comments and just hate on Windows completely. Just a little. The main post is for the main hate. Deal with it. And I know that someone is going to come at me "Ohhhhh, you need FUCKIN LIIIIIIINUUUUUUUXXXXXXXX!' Want to know my response to that?

No.

That feeling when you learn about Moon eclipse from DevRant...

How does the moon cut its hair? Eclipse it.

Because when you built the UI and you watch how the end user interact with it, it’s like watching your kid approach their first love, or like watching moon rover landing except you designed and built the whole program by yourself.

It’s just magical.

I don’t really have just one.

Ada Lovelace, she is the reason we have everything and she is the OG

Margaret Hamilton is badass and got Apolo 11 to the moon

Steve Wozniak, the real brains behind OG Apple. And his tech revolutionized computers. Plus have you ever just watched a video of him he’s so fucking pure and innocent. Like holy fuck he’s awesome and just hella intelligent.

John Romero + John Carmack. Two of the programmers on the original DOOM dev team. The team revolutionized the gaming industry and

Katie Bouman, just got added to the list for the black hole picture

Toooooooooootal (IDE)Eclipse, it’s a toooootal (IDE)Eclipse, it’s a toooooootal (IDE)Eclipse of the !moon 🎶

Made this an afternoon after work (several months ago), listening to Klaus Nomi :3

Security is a joke. And people don't seem to get it. Especially Data mungers.

I've spent about half an hour trying to work out how to securely connect to power BI using PowerShell in a renewable manner for unattended access later on.

Every single example I've found seems to involve you storing $user and $password variables inside your script. If I'm lucky, they're going to pass them through ConvertTo-SecureString. And nobody talks about securely storing AD auth tokens, or using the Windows Credential Manager.

I know it's possible, but it's going to take me ages to work out how from all sorts of disparate sources...

Of course, I just swiped the wrong way on my fucking laptop trackpad and list everything I just typed. FUCKING MARVELOUS.

TL;DR: Teacher stopped me from being productive. Principal almost called cops on me. Nearly threw chair at librarian.

So I'm at school yesterday, and we have a presenter in 2nd hour, so naturally, I'm gonna be on my computer doing things for other classes at the same time. Efficiency. Teacher doesn't like it, I refuse to put the computer away telling her that I'll be more productive and still pay attention, which HAS BEEN PROVEN MIND YOU, but she ends up calling security on me and I get sent down to the principal's office.

I talk to him, and he says 'Yeah, I know it's in the way, but you have to follow the directive given by the teachers.' Fine, fuck it. Won't go to her class for third hour. (I have her twice in a row for two different classes.) Next day.

I walk in, asking her if she's gonna do the same thing she did yesterday, hoping that she realized her error and will fix it, but no. She says I STILL can't have the computer out. I'm sorry, do you not realize I have 6 other fucking classes, most of which are required to graduate, unlike YOURS, as well as a FUCKING COLLEGE CLASS TONIGHT?! She gives the ultimatum. 'Obey or leave.' Fine, I'll leave. I go to the principal's office again, he must have a stick up his ass or something today because he's not budging. We argue for a while and he gives a WORSE ultimatum: 'Obey, Go to the Library, In House Suspension, or I'll call the police.' What the actual FUCK MAN?! You're gonna call the POLICE on a NONVIOLENT STUDENT?! Are you fucking MAD? I keep trying to tell him that there's an easy solution to this, but as he's getting up to call the cops, I say 'Fine! I'll go to the library!' He follows me over to make sure I don't kill anyone on the way.

I slam the door to the library open, and when I walk in, the librarian is there at her computer, and she asks 'Where are you coming from?' 'Principal!' 'I need a pass-' 'Well, I'm sorry, I can't exactly get anything for you right now, I was just sent down here.' She says 'Either way, I need some kind of note or pas-' 'Listen, I'm not in the mood for any of this right now. Please, just leave me be.' She then tries to say something, but I cut her off quickly, 'Just back off and leave me alone right now. The more you push it, the more you're gonna make me want to throw this chair!' Imagine the volume just gradually getting louder on that last one. She quickly runs out and talks to the security desk or something, which is right outside the library door, but she's the only one who comes in, thankfully. I was expecting to be fucking dragged out for no good reason. I'm loud, not violent. I have no history of violence.

So yeah. Here I am in the school library, angrily tapping away at my keyboard, trying not to throw the entire table to the fucking moon. All because this broken-ass public school system has no idea how to deviate from the norm when it's actually productive and efficient to do so. And now, the obligatory:

FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT WHY DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE COMPLETELY WRONG IN EVERY SINGLE THING YOU ARE DOING YOU IDIOTIC SCUM-FILLED MEAT SACKS OF NO FORSEEABLE VALUE! FUCK!

Good dev friend just told me today he believes the moon landing was faked.
Like, What the fuuuuck you have a M.Sc. in engineering.
You know the Sc. stands for goddamn science! I don't know if I can take him seriously anymore...should I try to change his mind? How?

I fucking hate Visual Studio!

Don't get me wrong, from time to time I actually enjoy it but not today.
It all went south when I tried to add a new handler to an fucking old asp.net webpage. I had the access the 'Range' headed to stream bits of audio and video files to the client. It was working absolutely fine for the first hour and a half, after that point the fun started...
VS decided that my source code and the binaries won't match anymore. Everytime I tried to add a fucking breakpoint or debug this cunt of an error it would just refuse
The worst part that made me go apeshit was when I finally got a breakpoint and the exception. Some unknown fucking system dll just kept on killing my thread without a proper error message because it's optimized to the fucking moon and back!

Any ideas from the devs here on what's going on and how the fuck I can fix this?

1969:
-what're you doing with that 2KB of RAM?
-sending people to the moon

2017:
-what're you doing with that 1.5GB of RAM?
-running Slack

Just a small discussion topic, if you could look through the source code ad have full access to 1 project/application/game/moon base forever, what would you choose and why?

For me, I would love to go through the source code for the game Hyper Light Drifter, would love to see some of the inner workings and just learn new methods of doing things.

Okay this is 3.30 AM . Just woke up from bad geeky dreams. My heart is pounding so fast that I could nose bleed and I can't sleep as I am remembering I had the same dream last night.

Dream was about : me being astronaut. Everything was usual. From rocket launch to be in space. Scary part was my ship in orbit of moon.

Seeing dead land from that height chocked me. Imagine you are looking out of the window and all you see a big grey land and pitch black in background. Realising there is no one out there was spooky.

The scary part was I launched some satellite but crash on surface. It was scary seeing something going smaller every time. Crashing on deserted land was one plus on adding fear.

Then my ship leave the orbit (from the reverse shock of that satellite dittachment ) and it flow away in the vastness of space......

Away from the moon and away from the earth in long loneliness.

I wish I could erase this from my memory but I am not gonna watch space exploration video anymore.

I got to say, landing on moon is one thing but being out there knowing one accident and you will be forever there. You need balls to be on such missions.

I might go to Moon (someday)

I've been in a fucking chat with a Verizon customer service rep for 45 fucking minutes....

Talking about everything under the moon to help the man out from having to do legitimate work. We've talked about phone preference, what phone's we have, what we want, favorite features, ect.

It's fucking hilarious and I'm genuinely entertained right now.

Glad to know I'm helping someone out.

Edit: I was honestly sad when I had to end it so I could eat before my food got ice cold lol

We're living in a world where 200 ko of RAM to send people to the moon, but 4 go isn't enough to make Jira fluid, while it's a fucking website.

Applying Occam's razor and I might be wrong..

Hiring a candidate and job hunt, both are fucking exhaustive process.

We, as a human race, have aimed for Moon and Mars but are unable to solve the problem at hand which can save millions of hours each year reflecting in immediate cost savings.

Here's my (idealistic) solution:

A product to connect job seekers and recruiters eliminating all the shitty complexities.

LinkedIn solved it, but then hired some PMs who started chasing metrics and bloated the fuck out of the product.

Here are some features of the product I am envisioning:

1. Job seeker signs up and builds their entire profile.

2. Ability to add/remove different sections (limited choices like certifications, projects, etc.), no custom shit allowed because each will have their own shit.

3. By default accept GDPR, Gender Identity, US equality laws, Vetran, yada yada..

4. No resume needed. Profile serves as resume. Eliminate the need to build a resume in word or resume builders.

5. Easy updates and no external resume, saves the job seeker time and gives a standard structure to recruiters to scan through eliminating cognitive load.

6. Recruiters can post their jobs and have similar sections (limited categories again).

7. Add GDPR, Vetran, etc. check boxes need basis.

8. No social shit. Recruiters can see profiles of job seekers and job seekers can see jobs. Period.

9. Employee working in Google? Awesome. Will not show Google recruiters thier profile and employee such job posts.

10. No need to apply or hunt heads. System will automatch and recommend because we are fucking in AI generation and how hard it is to match keywords!!

11. Saves job seekers and recruiters a fuck ton of time hunting the best fit.

12. This system gets you the best job that fits your profile.

Yes, there are flaws in this idea.

Yes, not all use cases are covered.

Yes, shit can be improved and this is hypothetical.

But hey! Surely doable with high impact than going on Moon or Mars right now.

Start-up world has lost its way.

I'm crying internally. The project(s) i work on have configuration files with dev and prod-info, the prod is just commented out. But thanks to reasons everyone has a different dev environment so there are many dev-config-blocks. I just use mine and carry on, BUT SOMEONE ALWAYS COMMITS THOSE FILES. I JUST THOUGHT OF IT NOW, BUT I'LL PUT THOSE FILES ON A BLACKLIST. FROM NOW ON YOU CAN ONLY COMMIT THESE FILES DURING A FULL MOON.

There's also this codebase to create licenses for our products. The license data fpr every customer is there, commented out. If you wanted to create another license, comment something and comment out another thing and you're good to go. THAT'S NOT WHAT VERSIONING IS FOR.

This last week I have been so excited about Artemis going around the moon. This is the kind of stuff that people need. Stop bickering about bullshit. There is a universe to explore!

I saw parts of the flyby today and it was really really cool. I hope NASA is getting incredible data from this. I cannot wait until we send people there again. Probably better to use robots, but going there in person is cool.

Ah I love that movie.. Hero, from 2002. I've seen it in the cinema three times. It's a real marvel, especially the scene where the forest turns red right after Snow killed Moon.

I also like how the quotes are adaptable:

Martial arts and programming are quite different, but they are based on the same principle: striving for highest perfection.

The essence of programming reveals itself through study and meditation.

(The latter one is also one of my favourite lines at work when being asked how come I know some esoteric stuff: it revealed itself through study and meditation.)

Guest-user: finished my angular js 3 days course. Next have to start learning how to write API's using angular. Any heads-up?

Sudo-user: wow.Order raspberry pi from Amazon and build rocket. Let's go to moon next month 🤦🤦🏼‍♂️

The weather is playing a cruel game

Past nights: clear sight on the yellowish moon
Yesterday: freaking heavy rain! Until 4am.

So, many years until the next one again?

Why insomnia, why. And the worst part is tomorrow I’ll be falling asleep at my desk in broad daylight, regardless of the conditions. Right now I can’t sleep because the moon is a little bright and I’m thinking about work. But tomorrow, when it is time to
Think of work, I will be unable and I’ll just pass out.

when you have coded the sun the moon and the stars. but the motherfucker still wants a universe engraved on a fucking ice cube. AND YOU'LL DO IT ANYWAY. CAUSE YOUR HIS FUCKING BITCH. YOU GUCKING GUCK!

@dfox thanks :] I'll make the stickers more visible then the moon :] today I have an electronic test and these stickers makes my day definitely better :]

Sorry fam... Just because I was a devOps in my last job doesn't mean you will get the sun and the moon when asked. Let's talk realistic solutions with resources.

Where do rabbits go after they get married? On a bunny-moon.

Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it's a little meteor.

Holy fuck I'm tired of domain.com... I bought my domain with them about a year ago, and quickly I discovered how shit they are.

I can almost never access the console, the default view most of the time loads, although even that is incredibly slow. When the console loads, all settings regarding my domain are just loading. Every once in a blue moon I can actually access the settings and do something.

I got tired of it, and started transferring the domain to Cloudflare. That's where I messed up, and didn't know I had to verify the transfer twice, so the domain ended up expiring during the transfer process. Now domain.com has my domain completely locked down, pointing it to one of those 'expired' nameservers.

So three days ago I thought fuck it, I'll pay domain.com to renew the domain, maybe that'll get the domain transferred, or at least get my domain open again, so I can receive emails again, because in all my nerdiness I decided to set up a custom email using 'name@customdomain.com'. So I haven't been able to receive any emails for two weeks now.

Anyway, three days later the status of the domain is still 'pending renewal', and I can't for the life of me figure out how something like this isn't completely automated, and the domain isn't just working again.

So just now I decided to contact their live chat, and even they can't change the nameservers on my domain, and I have to be transferred to a specialist, who will then contact me by mail within 24-48 hours. Fuck I hate domain.com, and I'll certainly never buy from them again

Writing cross compilation build scripts make me feel like I'm constructing a log cabin from scratch, on the moon, without a suit, and no trees.

CMake toolchains are a joke. I've thrown them out entirely at this point and am writing custom detection logic for the different cross compilation combinations.

On that note, Microsoft's layout for their development kit is an absolute NIGHTMARE. Get your shit together, Microsoft.

Going to be a VERY long day.

1969:
-what're you doing with that 2KB of RAM?
-sending people to the moon

2017:
-what're you doing with that 4GB of RAM?
-running Slack

Giving away a 2nd Gen ipod for FREE on a couple apps.

22 people have messaged me about it... 3 days later and it still hasn't been picked up.

This is ridiculous people, the item may be free but my time is not >:|

IM LOOKING AT YOU "ON THE WAY" GUY

"NO! I will not download your stupid app! That will boat my memory and chunk my battery! Just to get to that one bit of content from a service I use once in a blue moon!"

What if a programmer was invited to the dear moon project? What would he make?

Probably a new JS framework or a new programming language? :P

That spacex event was one of the most inspiring event I have seen in a long while. I can't believe it is happening. That Q&A was very interesting and I like how Elon Musk talks, he tries really good to put things in layman terms.

And looks like Elon Musk is also going to space with Yazuka.

If I get a chance to go in lunar trip, I would be happy even if things go wrong and I have to die in space.

Can't focus on work because Ethereum and litecoin are on the rise. Dreaming of driving lambos on the moon 😅

Reading Fanfiction. Specifically Harry Potter fanfic

Theorem 2.71 All software is shit.

Corollary 3.14 So stop the braindead OS wars. All OS are shit, too.

Proof. The only software that can stay beautiful and clean is software that is never used. Maybe if you are Dijkstra or live in a Haskellian world, you might come away with it, but for the rest of us our artifacts have to interact with other artifacts or are build upon strange historically grown systems, they have to deal with users who will put it to creative use.. and in the process we also actually might have to alter some state.
Or put another way: code is a social construct. Like science are the beliefs and superstitions grown by a scientific community, software is the montainous dunghill produced by our laborious efforts to make shit even work. Of course this only piles the stack higher and higher until you can already smell it from the moon.

1. Creativity - you can create anything from typing words and a little electricity - office programs, new medicines, predicting cancer from images, robots, planes, satellites, rockets that put people to the Moon or robots to Mars - all use machines programmed with code.

2. Challenge - some of the projects and algorithms are so complicated that full understanding of them is great challenge.

3. Freedom - you only need a laptop and internet and a bit of electricity and you can code from anywhere on Earth or if you’re Astronaut you can even code from space.

How to update a react native project:
1. Run react-native-git-upgrade
2. Notice that your project dependencies are mucked up
3. Try to fix node modules and the build process
4. Find out the moon landing was a hoax, wait what?!
5. Use react-native-init to create a new (working) project
6. Copy code files and dependencies to new project
7. Wait for new version :)

Oh god, here comes another math post! I can feel it coming on, like werewolfism during the full moon.

I'm only passingly familiar with logarithms, so this, like everything I've stumbled on, has probably already been discovered, but

n/(1/((n^(1/n))-1))

Is a pretty good approximation (within a couple percentage points, or three or more digits) of the natural logarithm for all the numbers I've checked it on.

For example if

n = 690841693

ln(n) = 20.35342125707679

while our estimate using the above formula comes out to:

n/(1/((n**(1/n))-1)) = 20.353421612948146

Am I missing something obvious here, and if so, what?

Am I doing the idiot savant thing again, or am I just being an idiot again?

BRO IF I SEARCH A SLOWBRO HOLDING A FUCKEN KING'S ROCK, IT MAY BE BECAUSE I DON'T OWN SLOWKING BUT WANT ONE SO WHY YOU WANT A SLOWKING IN EXCHANGE FOR THE SLOWBRO IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE AT ALL.

Google selling the pixel for around £600.. For that price that phone better be able to take me to the moon..shiii.

I knew I wanted to be a Dev ever since I discovered that the Apollo missions, used a flight computer less powerful than a average mobile phone.

If they could put a man on the moon with that, imagine what I could do now...

Manjaro has some quirks that annoy me(no MST timezone, spotty support for my WD NVME), so I decided that since I'm not interested in any pre-configured graphical desktop of any kind, I should just dive into Arch, since it increasingly felt like that's what I was doing anyway but with Manjaro to dull the blow. So I did, and I am over the moon for doing so. Lots of gnashed teeth, but DDG indexes an answer to every question I've had, and it always makes sense when I find it. I've enjoyed having to dive into systemd in a much more low-level way than ever before-- to actually LEARN what it's doing, how, and why.

But one by one, I have been faced with some issue that I need to resolve, and one by one, I've knocked them off. The result now is the best work and gaming desktop I have ever used.

Arch is not for geniuses or wizards. Just patient people who are willing to read. The payoff is staggering, and many times over worth the effort.

My motto in life is: when you're not interacting with me, you'll never see my beautiful children.

I give up on this thing, I can't go to sleep now because the moon's about to hit, I don't want to waste anymore sleep than when the moon sets.

if spinlaunch can make spinning machine that is able to push ball hard enough that it would travel to moon we can build another one on the moon and travel trough solar system like pinballs lol

how to get rich: step 1: sell your organs; selling your organs is a quick and efficient way to make money, the more you sell=the more you make.

step 2: tax evasion; just stop paying taxes, why give away your money when you can just keep it?

step 3: print money; why get a job when you can just print money? say goodbye to that annoying 9-5!

step 4: invest in the cryptocurrency $bigblackballs. $bigblackballs is the new bitcoin! it will take over all other cryptocurrencies in the market and make everyone rich. $bigblackballs to the moon! get on the wave while you still can.

thanks for reading, hopefully, you learned something from this tutorial!!!!

Been watching Moon Knight recently and just can't get this meme out of my head.

Stayed up till 3am yesterday playing pokemon moon, and still have pushed 2 commits before 9am. WhoNeedsSleepAnyways

The Apollo Guidance Computer had RAM of 4KB, a 32KB hard disk. It was fairly compact for its time, measuring 23.5 in x 11.8 in x 5.9 in, but weighed around 33 lb.

The computing power of the entire federal government was less than an iPhone 4s when Apollo 11 landed on the moon.

Microwave ovens typically have more computing power than the Apollo.

Did they really landed or it was just scripted? Your views please

!rant

Are developers considered artists ? If so Elon should send a dev with the japanese billionaire to the moon. We need inspiration to solve this javascript mess and flung xml in deep space.

About stellar too

I don’t know if I can fly
to the moon or to the stars
but I’ve felt how moon tasted
in the year nineteen forty one

darkess
war
despite, moon

white light
white snow
white bread
that isn’t there

no bread is there

it’s peaceful now
I’m eating almost every day

but the moon looked tasty
but the moon tasted white

There should me moonOS for programmers, instead of sun. As they love to work at night. :)

Where do rabbits go after they get married? On a bunny-moon.

@ Frontend devs:
Did you see Moon.js framework?
It's a very sad framework although i am not sure why it feels so Angular-ish vue.
But at least they are trying

What do you think

Good poem i read :

“OK” said Fuen, “but why is Hydra howling at the moon.”

“He is just a bit upset at his PC breaking” replied Red.

“Can’t he fix it?” asked Fuen.

“Doesn’t look like it” said Red. “He keeps getting stuck during the trouble shooting.”

“Which bit of trouble shooting?” asked Fuen.

“The last bit” replied Red. “He says his keyboard doesn’t have an ‘any’ key.”

Fuen winced.

Power BI: wonderful tool, pretty graphics, and can do a lot of powerful stuff.

But it’s also quite frustrating when you want to do advanced things, as it’s such a closed platform.

* No way to run powerquery scripts in a command line
* Unit testing is a major pain, and doesn’t really test all the data munging capabilities
* The various layers (offline/online, visualisation, DAX, Powerquery, Dataset, Dataflow) are a bit too seamless: locating where an issue is happening when debugging can be pain, especially as filtering works differently in Query Editing mode than Query Visualisation mode.

And my number 1 pet peeve:
* No version control

It’s seriously disconcerting to go back to a no version control system, especially as you need to modify “live code” sometimes in order to debug a visual.

At best, I’ve been looking into extracting the code from the file, and then checking that into git, but it’s still a one-way street that means a lot of copying and pasting back into the program in order to roll back, and makes forking quite difficult.

It’s rewarding to work with the system, but these frustrations can really get to me sometimes

Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it's a little meteor.

Sometimes I wonder how long it will take for society to stop starting every. single. conference call with "Hello? Helloooo? ... Can you hear me? I can year you!". Like it's a semaphore tower, or a shortwave radio communication to the dark side of the fucking moon.

I mean... what the ever-loving fuck. This technology has been around for 20 years now, how is it still so god damn broken, inconsistent and unreliable that we actually still all do this?

I'm sure after 20 years even Antonio Meucci and Alexander Graham Bell were no longer starting every damn phone call that way. GOD DAMNIT!