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Updated description!
Fuck Wordpress in the ass with a new kind of cms. Make devs happy with clean code. And Laravel53 -
How it should be:
- First: solve the problem
- Second: Write your code.
How many people do:
- First: Write code
- Second: solve code problems
- Third: Adapt code with requirements
- Forth: get lost on your spaghetti code
- Sixth: make a suicide8 -
Immortalised this actual legacy code for our Senior Devs leaving present (we all inherited this) with his last task being to refactor it, may he never have to work with code like this again.
14 -
I saw an ad today for "Wix Code". Yes, you can officially code your Wix page with their javascript framework.
Cue recruiters looking for candidates with "10 years of wix development"13 -
Working alone is great. You won't have to deal with others shit coding and others won't have to handle your shit coding.
Code free, code alone!
3 -
Confession:
I actually like to code with JavaScript.
It's a terrible language, yes, but I find it fun to work with.17 -
Mastering git has become the best thing ever. I feel like a real code monkey. Swinging from branch to branch. Eating all the bug-eeee eeee ahhhhh oooh aaaaaaAAHHHHHH!2
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Since git, sometimes I drink and code until I pass out
Today I woke up with good working code that I don’t even remember writing5 -
Actual pro tip: don't push only when you are done with code. Always push when you are done with coding session. Minimize the possibility of data loss and always have your code on the server.8
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I write code,
I am a writer.
I fight with bugs,
I am a fighter.
I optimise code,
to make it tighter.4 -
Code review, here the simplified version. What the fuck has to be wrong with someone who seriously codes the first variant in production code?!
19 -
No, listen to me. I cannot approve this PR because your code does not comply with our code style. All the imports and annotations must be sorted in ascending order by length. They must all make fir-like blocks of code. Because it looks nice.
Now go and fix your code
I just smiled and walked away to obfuscate my code with firs . I had no idea what to even say to that... I still don't14 -
Once crafted a beautifully executed use of Polymorphism with intuitive interfaces and classes with a concise and loose code just to watch my boss get rid of the interface , because it had no code in it, and fill the fucking code with an ugly switch statement to choose which class to instantiate.5
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*PM looks at my code
*Deletes my constants, replaces with inline strings
*Changes order of conditions (that I tested)
*Hits save --> autoformats code into shitty looks
*Commits: "fix"9 -
You refactor after there's code. You can't have clean code if there isn't code to be cleaned to begin with. Code first. Think of perfection later.4
-
the evolution of a js dev:
solve a problem with somebody else’s code
solve a problem with your own code
solve a problem with npm install4 -
PM: Your code bombs! It’s supposed to put a link to the schedule here!
2 minutes earlier:
PM: *runs code with malformed data and two cancelled schedules*2 -
Finally got my nginx config to work properly (it shouldn't work but it does so I'm not fucking touching it).
Request with curl: check, right http code and getting data back properly.
Request with any browser (with and without incognito): right http code, AND ONLY SEEING DATA WHEN I ECHO ANYTHING BEFORE SENDING THE RESPONSE WITH PHP. When I don't echo whatever before sending the response, the browser doesn't see the data but DOES see the http status code.
HOW?!20 -
Once got 3rd place in a company "code golf". It was open to any language or platform.
I built a functional minesweeper game in Excel with 600 lines of code, complete with color and animation.
The JavaScript version won with 342 lines.4 -
asked the team to give us their API docs, they gave us the whole fuckin source code. in a zip file...
im outa here!! 😕3 -
C is nice and all but have you ever had to massacre your code with preprocessor instructions to make your code portable?3
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Meeting yesterday:
Senior E: "Man, every time I do code review I thought this is the stupidest code ever written - then I look at the author, oh wait it's me"
Me: "Well, the perfect code is the code never gets written"
SE: "Casting appreciative look with a nod" -
TIL the term "Kangaroo Code" was also a popular sort-of synonym for "Spaghetti Code".
It more referred to languages that heavily used "goto"s (because it would be "code with a lot of jumps")10 -
Found in the PCIe driver code for something I have to work with:
if (false) {
// 200 lines of unnecessary code
}
You ever heard of, you know, comments?8 -
University, Italy
We have sent our code to the professor for correction.
Professor : Who wrote the code with comments in english?
Proud student : me !
Professor : you failed to write the algorithms, and also made mistakes with a lot of English words.3 -
Oh boy I wanna write a script that replaces people's images with a pixelated icon and their messages. Writes code. Code crashes Slack, Chrome and Laptop. Only I can write code like that and make an entire machine unresponsive.5
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I came to this company. I saw spaghetti code. I told myself to write clean code and also clean the existing code. I took too much pressure for too little return. I am done with this shit. I will now write clean code but fuck the old spaghetti code!2
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I think there is always that guy in the company who makes shitty code, and someone else needs to fix/rewrite it. but he is always good with PM and superiors.
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>Advanced code optimization class
>Professor : Your midterm exam will be written on paper....with no code.
>Me: ?????????????3 -
Got stucked in a problem with recursion in php, almost 2 days no sign of progress until i told my co worker how my code works, then i found the error and it work. I think developers need to talk about the code to realize whats wrong with the code.9
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VS Code looks amazing with dark themes and vs code file icons. Using the theme by Kary Foundation and it is awesome.11
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developer: *deploying spaghetti code to production*
hacker: *alters the code with an injection*
developer:
2 -
to anyone who says girls can’t code because they have no skill and therefore shouldn’t be in a high position because they have no dick,
I’ll show you how I code with my girl skills, I’ll fire you with my girl position, and I’ll fuck you with my girl dick.7 -
Fun meeting ahead, coworker that writes unreadable code (and insists that it is the best code ever) is going to complain that nobody wants to work with him.4
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Those who code their software with no standard are those people who once attempt to launch themselves to Mars with a catapult.3
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When you look through two year old code and have to make it conform with your new and shiny code.😀1
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Look at other peoples code, analize it, absorb patterns, let those patterns replace the shit I have to learn in school, review code, code with those patterns, feel weird, because something is missing, repeat3
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That feeling when you saw your code and says "I can certainly code better". Took the day to refactor and felt satisfied with the code now. I feel awesome muahahah
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Phantom Code: Code that was written in dose state with very little knowledge what the hell fuck you were doing 😧😭
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Me trying to figure out this issue I am having with code I copied from code pen for a css powered image slider.
2 -
BANE OF MY FUCKING EXISTENCE. STOP POLLUTING MY PRODUCTION CODE WITH TEST CODE, YOU FUCKING CRETINS.
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Coding faster is more important than code quality? GitHub shows a call to action: "Code 55% faster with GitHub Copilot". WTF?14
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While sitting in a train (5 hours trip) I really want to code something, unfortunately I dont have my laptop with me, so i just connected with ssh from my phone to my ubuntu vps, created some project via npm and use android app to edit the code. It is not perfect but works. Someone else code like that?3
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fuck off with the “do x in y lines of python code” it’s getting so goddamn annoying. yes python is concise. yes libraries do everything. you don’t need to show off someone else’s work with clickbait.
everything is like
“make a web server in 2 lines of python code”
import http.server
server = http.server.serve()
“mine bitcoin in 2 lines of python code”
import bitcoinminer
bitcoinminer.mine()
“do crazy math with 4 lines of python code”
import complex
import numpy
num1 = 1
num2 = 1
num3 = complex.addVectorMagnitudes(num1, num2)9 -
Product Owner: There is a major bug with your code it's not working.
I then spend hour looking at code to find out.
It's a content problem! -
Something I'm working on at work needs a code name. How do y'all come up with code names for your projects?8
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So i came up with indoor plant debugging
1. Keep a plant near your code
2. if you are writing a shitty code plant starts dying
☠️
6 -
I had a friendly argument with a person over comparing visual studio with Xcode,the first thing that came into my mind when he said visual studio was visual studio code (keep in mind visual studio and visual studio code are completely different visual studio is an ide while visual studio code is a code editor )
I was arguing that there’s no point comparing an ide specifically made for iOS app dev with a code editor with intellisense with better code predictions as it would have made more sense if he was comparing a code editor with another code editor like atom or sublime.
This argument went on for a couple of mins in a group chat
Later on I found out he was talking about visual studio and not visual studio code which actually is an ide used for app dev.
This whole time I thought he was talking about vs code and he thought I was talking about visual studio 😂
I ended up agreeing it was my mistake for not getting the message in the first place 😂3 -
Actual production code:
while(1):
//A few lines of code here with a conditional break.
while(1):
//More code.
Have you ever just had nested infinite loops...4 -
/** Called when the rant is first created. */
@Override
public void onCreate(Bundle savedInstanceState) {
super.onCreate(savedInstanceState); setContentView(R.layout.dev_rant_first);
Log.d("Introduction", "Hello, devRant community!");
} -
Nothing like a client bitching on the weekend that a promo code is broken on their site. Except it works just fine and they printed your physical materials with the wrong code to hand out. And they tested and verified it working with the correct code on QA. AND IN TWO SEPARATE FUCKING EMAILS
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Experienced programmer:
Code works in head; code almost works in computer; code never works with client.
Beginner programmer:
Code almost works in head; code never works in computer; code will never work with client.
Long story short: it's hard to begin but when you let the code flow, you became a programmer -
A legacy custom made WordPress Theme.
Old developer made main styling sheet with 8000+ lines of code with no component separation. -
One of the best feelings is when you're hip deep in code refactoing and you're delezing old code with your new and shiny code.
-
Open folder in Windows Explorer.
Right click empty space, then click "Open with Code."
Awesome!
VS Code keeps amazing me.3 -
When the code is so bad that fixing one thing breaks 10 other things because the code was made to work with broken code.3
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I learned C with a K&R copy a friend gave me years ago. Now at University we in CompSci get taught in Python the first year and Java next while the engineers start with C and (I'm guessing) move on to assembly later on.
This friend comes to me all worried because he has to submit the next day a working Reversi game for the console written in C. Turns out the game was divided among two labs and he failed to submit the first one.
The guy is smart but once a week or so, when we met to smoke a joint and relax with some other friends, he was always talking about how he would prefer something like law but that would be bad business back in Egypt.
Back to the game, I get completely into it. First hour checking all the instructions he was given, then reviewing the code he wrote and copied from Internet. We decide start from scratch since he doesn't really get what the code he copied do. It took us 10 hours only stopping to eat but we get all the specifications of both labs perfectly.
A week after that he comes to me: "my TA said your code is the ugliest shit he's ever seen but he gave me a perfect score because it passed all the tests". I'm getting better (the courses I'm taking help me a lot) but what really made me happy is that he solved the next lab by himself (Reversi wasn't the first time I helped him, only the first time he was absolutely lost). Now he actually gets excited about coding and even felt confident for his programming final.
No more talking about being a lawyer after those 10 hours, totally worth it.1 -
Working with Microsoft.CodeAnalysis.CSharp
where I work with CSharpSyntaxTree
I can compile the code in code.
So basically,
SyntaxTree syntaxTree = CSharpSyntaxTree.ParseText(@"
using System;
namespace InAppCompiler
{
public class Writer
{
public void PrintText(string message)
{
Console.WriteLine(message);
}
public void ALLCAPS(string msg)
{
Console.WriteLine(msg);
}
}
}");
Freaking cool!3 -
A prototype being used as production code written in procedural PHP with the code drawn using echo and MySQL (not MySQLi) all mixed together and the configuration with world readable database stored as config.inc.
All backed by a database with no foreign keys or data integrity of any kind. -
The catharsis of deleting code that is difficult to read, clashing with the agony of deleting code that was difficult to write.9
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Sublime Text could've became the greatest and fastest code editor of all time if it was supported with good extensions. Now we're left with electron based code editors that are slow with big projects.6
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I asked at an interview if they documented their code with class diagrams.
One of the interviewers told me: "Good code doesn't need a class diagram"
...
*TRIGGERED*4 -
New guy hasn't written or commuted any code, yet he is the most annoying person doing code reviews with bullshit comments.
Normally when I start at a new shop, I hold off on code reviews until I'm at least familiar with the project(s).1 -
Once a programmer writes his first line of code, he can never undo it.
Despite of no-code mood, I opened the IDE and started typing with a single finger.
What's wrong with us? We breath code -
Yesterday I had a HUGE argument with my mom. I had severe headache after that and I couldn't help but feel angry and disgusted with myself for shouting at her. Guess what's the first thing that popped in my head soon after? Let's code.
Yes, I like to code. I'm not ashamed of it. Good code. Bad code. I code. It makes me happy. It distracts me until I get frustrated with what I've coded and why it went wrong and soon I realise I've moved on from the anger.
You never know what can help you when! Right? -
How can code refactor be so stressfull that even doin' it on YOUR OWN CODE looks like taking a slow walk over broken glass? More than never: GOD BLESS THOSE WHO DAILY DEAL WITH LEGACY CODE
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Founding an international organisation to teach code in organised focus groups with little or no fees, with various paths3
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"My code is explain itself. Well, I need no comments to understand it."
I don't care if you wan't to write comments or not; If don't write any then i don't care because fuck you and your code.
May it be java, kotlin, python, javascript or anyother language, you think "everyone can read", i hope you'll never find anyone who has to deal with you and your cancerous code.7 -
Dev Mantra
I do not write code with my keyboard. He who writes code with his keyboard has forgotten the days of the punch cards. I write code with mind.
I do not write non descriptive variables. He who writes non descriptive variables has forgotten the days of the punch cards. I write self descriptive code.
I do not debug by brute force. He who debugs by brute force has forgotten has forgotten the days of the punch cards. I debug with breakpoints and stack traces.1 -
Fixing out of scope/unrelated code quality issues when working on bugs/features.
Especially with older projects where pretty much the entire code base is a quality issue.1 -
I have a problem. I am too much of a perfectionist when it comes to coding. I need it to be perfect before anybody else lays their eyes upoun it. Functions, logic, commits.. everything needs to look good. This has been one of the reasons why I get delayed so much and miss deadlines.1
-
Best part of being a dev? Converting coffee into code. ☕
Worst part? Dealing with others' shitty code everyday.1 -
Just read Uncle Bobs book series:
Working with Legacy Code,
Clean Coder,
Clean Code,
Clean Architecture
Read it in this exact order and each book was better than the one before.
What did you think of them and what other books do you recommend reading?
(Coding books of course)3 -
Tldr:
Can't fucking figure out why I'm the only one who can't solve a DP problem in code, when me and friends use the same idea and no one knows why only mine doesn't work...
We are given a task to solve a problem using DP. My friends write their code with the same idea as a solution. Copying the code is not allowed. I follow the same idea but my code won't work. Others look into it, in case they find errors. They can't find any.
The problem (for reference):
Given a fixed list of int's a = (a_1,a_2,...,a_n) and b = (b_1,b_2,...,b_n), a_i and b_i >= 0, a.length == b.length
We want to maximize the sum of a_i's chosen. Every a_i is connected with the b_i at the same index. b_i tells us how many indexes of a we have to skip if choosing the corresponding a_i, so list index of b_i + b_i's value + 1 would be the position of the next a_i available.
The idea:
Create a new list c with same length as a (or b).
Begin at the end of c and save a_n at the same position in c. Iterate backwards through c and at each position add the max value of all previously saved values of c (with regards to the b_i-restriction) with the current a_i, else a_i + 0 if the b_i-resctriction goes beyond the list.
Return the max value of c.
How does that not work for me but for the others?? Funny enough, a few given samples work with my code. I'm questioning my coding ability...7 -
The dev behind me just send some code changes to another dev because those two dont want (or are just too stupid) to merge their code with git...2
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Guys, which code editor is better for PHP/JS/HTML/CSS? I mean, with more addons, code completion, and so on..
Atom? Sublime? Brackets? VS Code?
Thanks!21 -
For completely nonsensical projects I propose a new metric. Instead of counting how much code is covered with tests, I propose to count how many tests are actually testing the code. They really write more tests than code nowadays3
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Setter and getter are anti-patterns. Eradicate all of them from your code with no mercy and you'll see your code magically transform for the better.5
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Code monkey like fritos,
Code monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew,
Code monkey very simple man,
With big brown fuzzy secret heart
Code monkey like you...1 -
Hey guys! Hear out, I just code and it works on first compile!
And its not just code, its also interact with database query!3 -
Writing my first code review. Even though it really is a nice review and I'm happy with the solution code, I still somehow feel like an asshole for each critique I make. Maybe it's unavoidable with code reviews / pull requests?3
-
The term 'continuous rot' just came to mind as something like this: A lone/sole developer is hired to implement a solution but dispite the illusional good intent shared by everyone at the beginning, time constrains will soon come into play and the code deteriorates at a rapid pace until the developer can't handle it anymore... But someone else comes to continue the work... And the rot continues... And once again... And again...again....
Anyone?1 -
I don't understand how people write such poorly indented code. It really boogles my mind how they can live with it.
-
Comments throughout code with things like "changed to fix bug #". And commented out code all over.
We have source control, why the hell are you doing this? -
IDE: JetBrains IDEs with Material theme (Dracula)
Editor: VS Code
They are fast, amazing and beautiful while I write code.2 -
Why every single modern-looking code editor built with electron? I just want a code editor that has a good UI and doesn't run as a web page.2
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Me : Here, a list with multiple strings, do your job, Foreach block
Code : *do only one iteration*
that code is lazier than me1 -
Fuck entity framework code first! It's a pain in the ass making relationships work with code first! 😑😑6
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Spent the day refactoring old copy-pasted astronomical code with minimal commentary, cryptic variable names and missing mathematical symbols. Self documenting code my ass.1
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Together with colleagues from University of Zurich I am conducting a survey about skills for code review! With this survey, we aim to investigate skills that reviewers need to perform an efficient code review. Our main goal is to improve developers' code review practices. Therefore, we are looking for developers with experience as code reviewers. This questionnaire takes 15-20 minutes and consists of 21 questions.
https://uzh.ch/zi/cl/...
Thank you for your help!4 -
I would like to understand xcb library by looking at the rofi (dmenu replacement) source code but there is no code documentation. How do you guys deal with non-documented source code (supposed to be easy)3
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I have been helping out a teammate with a code fix but never wants to try my code solutions, instead he always complaints about it, even if they work and comply with the conventions. (I am his dev lead)2
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Just started rewatching Jurassic Park for the millionth time and can you imagine working with someone like Dennis Nedry? The messy workspace, spaghetti code, the only one with knowledge of completely obscure and complex code....hits a bit too close home1
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write simple working code with some duplicated code (less than 10 lines) and have compile time safety , NAH
write more complicated code you have to spend time fixing thanks to PR feedback -
Irony - (noun) Switching to a new framework to do more with less code. Spending obscene amount of time and LOC to retrofit rest of the code to work with the said framework.
-
Happens alot with Android devs 😝😝.
It does't matters how much you try to make your code run, the moment you sleep some code fairy comes to do some code magic.
1 -
Is Manjaro good for web and mobile developer? Currently I'm using Kubuntu, but I'm thinking about switching to Manjaro with i3. I'm using Andoroid Studion, Intellij, VS Code, GoLang and Java. I might replace VS Code with Vim later down the line.3
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Starts a new project in school with a colleague. Write some code, a lot of code, just to find out, that he "optimized" my code and now all of my code looks completly different but does the same thing wiht same performance.
Colleague: The code is now better
My Face: 😫 -
VS Code
Nano
Nano:
easy to use
easy to exit
VS Code:
Can easily turn into sort of a IDE with all the plugins available -
wasting time trying to write good code and minimize duplication , but it probably won't work and there are no working examples
duplicate code and do the stupid thing, which will work, with extra dumbass boilerplate code to convert between swagger2 & 3 schema
fuck you swagger code gen -
Had to code review a line of java with this code a while back: ServiceService.isProductProduct. Funny thing is that even though it's obviously stupid, it was in accordance with the coding standard and I couldn't really object to it (._.)
-
Javascript - VS code
Python - VS code (linters sometimes show weird errors)
Dart/Flutter - VS code
Debugging qa instance via eb ssh - Vim with vim cheat sheet opened in browser tab -
That time when you ask colleague on different project to paste their code, pastes 2000 lines of code with no indents...whyyyyy?!?
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Hey guys!
I am looking for good "whats wrong with this code" snippets with as little lines of code as possible!11 -
The way we keep running the code, when we mess around with the code and try to find a solution, has so much in common with machine learning1
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Start learning to code with a project that is close to your hard, will make time fly and you'll learn to code much better in the same go.
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The feeling when you choke your code with cython so much that you manage to get under a single second from almost 2s per quite a lot of calculations with already optimized code.
Another X-mas came! -
What are some good coding buddies? I'm thinking of toys, not people. Suggestions? I need someone to talk my code through with who won't argue with me even if my code is wrong 🙃1
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Looking for android dev who could mentor me with more advanced android dev topics (architecture, unit tests, code style and etc.) I am a self tought intermediate dev with 2 years experience (worked in 3 startups). I need help with questions/ocasional code reviews.2
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