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Happened just now:
Client: Please remove this page from the site ASAP, and tell me when its done.
Me: Done
Client: what's wrong am getting an error code(404) when I click on the link.
Am not sure how to reply to that13 -
Dev: this task is done, can I put it in review and do something else?
Me: sure, of course.
Dev: cool, just be aware I'll make some changes to it later.
Me: ... wait, then it's not done.
Dev: no it is, I just need to re-read it and make some changes.
Me: yeah, so it will be done when those changes are made.
Dev: but I don't know what those changes are.
Me: ... I get that ... but ... ok I'm extremely confused. Why do you think it's done.
Dev: because I've written everything I need to and I'm happy with it.
Me: ok so why do you want to make changes.
Dev: I don't.
Me: ... ... ... ... you ... you are really not being clear. If you don't want to make changes, and you are happy with it, why are you planning on making changes later ... after marking the task as done.
Dev: well if I re-read it and see something I don't like, I would like to change it.
Me: ok, so re-read it as many times as you like and make as many changes as you like. But don't mark it as done until it is done.
Dev: but it is done.
Me: no it's not.
Dev: it is, look.
Me: ... yeah looks ok at a quick glance.
Dev: ok so I can mark it as done?
Me: are you going to make more changes?
Dev: yes.
Me: then no.
Dev: why?
Me: BECAUSE ITS NOT DONE.
Dev: ok maybe I'm not explaining it clearly.
Me: ... we can both agree on that. Ok so to summarise, we don't mark something as done until we have stopped touching it. We don't half finish something and say it's done and comeback to it later. We mark it as done when we are happy with i.....
Dev: but I am happ.....
Me: *raises hand* I repeat, if it's done, we lock it away and stop touching it. If someone reads it and complains, we can come back to it with a new ticket. But it's not done until we think we are ready to send it on.
Dev: I am ready to send it, I just may want to change it.
Me: ... ... ... ... ... due to a new policy implemented just now, we are only allowed to send 1 email to a person each week. So unfortunately we can only send on 1 copy. So when you have that 1 copy, let me know.
Dev: ok, let me re-read it a few more times then.
Me: there you go.32 -
My first interview.
Interviewer looks at my resume, asks me questions about the projects that I had done at that time.
Tells me he hadn't done this much when he was of my age.
Rejected.13 -
Providing work estimation:
Dev: This should take about 2 weeks
Non dev: Really? But it's so simple. Shouldn't be that long right? I think it can be done in one week.
*After one week*
Non dev: Why is it still not done? I thought you only need one week?9 -
Me: "Ahh yes finally done making this big module that does X, took me 2 weeks but its done!"
Coworker: "You know there's a plugin that does X right?"
Me: "Just go..."
Coworker: "Ohh and it also does Y which makes X easier if you have to do Z"
Me: "GET OUT OF HERE I NEED TO CRY"6 -
I am working on another developer's PHP code, and I found a new way that he done the redirect after the login with PHP!
30 -
The worst laziest thing I've done while programming?
That's easy
- Have an Idea.
- Think about that Idea.
- Then go play some games, watch a movie...4 -
My friend had the bright idea of making a version of bubble sort that plays a quacking sound effect on every swap. I added in different variations of the same sound effect for various conditions.
We named it "Quacksort," and one of the professors asked us to present it to the intro class.
My career has reached its peak.3 -
Working from home in 2020:
Both kids haven't interrupted me in an unusually long time.... That likely means they're up to no good.
On the other hand I'm getting a lot of coding done (bunch of fixes done / misc new tasks done).
So now I sort of do a little mental math to guess if the damage they might be doing is less than the value of me getting shit done for work....18 -
"Anything that can be done in GUI is better than in terminal"
Yes it's wrong and stupid. Let Microsoft fans disagree.16 -
Boss: "Yeah we have a logging project coming up that has to be done in C" Me: "I know C, I can give some pointers on that"5
-
This weekend I took a break from programming and online courses. 2 days of pure video gaming. Haven't done that in months.
I regret nothing.6 -
Boss: Why is it that you are still not done with this?
Me: Because I keep getting interrupted
Boss: By what?
3 -
My client has been told by his previous developer that he should never update his wordpress.
Last update was done in 2015.6 -
Boss: Hey, remember that app you made that was supposed to be purely for demonstration purposes?
Me: The one that we hard coded to get done in a week? Yea, why?
Boss: Here are some changes we need done for the next meeting.
Me:...1 -
Unexperienced digital immigrant: "Let's make a website, can you do this?"
Me: "Yeah."
"But you gotta use wordpress. We want to be able to change the content easily. Also we want to have that website done fast."
"Meh, ok."
one day later
"Are you done yet?"
Me: "No, I got to find a good way for the lightbox I'm still implementing to fetch data from posts blabla"
"Why are you not done yet? Just take a plugin, even I can do that. Wordpress is so easy, it's just 1, 2, 3 and done."
Yeah I have an idea. Why don't you just make the website yourself.4 -
Requires windows 10 anniversary or later... So let use photo's that show it installing on vista...
Well done Adobe.
9 -
I started reading the book "The clean coder" by Robert Martin and now I feel depressed.
So many of the things that he qualifies as unprofessional have I done :'(11 -
I'm starting to fucking hate the word 'done'.
Scenario 1:
Boss: How's the spec coming along?
Manager: Oh, it's done.
Manager to me: Hey can you get it done?
Me: Why would you call it done? There's a days worth of work and it's only half done. Boss wasn't even rushing it yet.
Manager: Too late I've already committed it. I'm sure it's simple anyway. Just do it.
Scenario 2:
Manager: Hey is it done?
Noob dev: Yea it's done.
*Commits half assed incomplete sphagetti shit that breaks stuff*
Manager: Well done. Completed so quickly.
FUCK THIS SHIT.2 -
How QA people buy beds..
//I have done all kinds of testing that possible exist, but I'm still not convinced
1 -
That awful realisation that your job could so easily be done remotely from your desk at home while wearing nothing but underpants and eating pop tarts.2
-
6:38pm, Tasklist for today:
- Debug website #1 - DONE
- Debug website #2 - DONE
- Launch a new website on a new domain - DONE
- Install SSL - DONE
- Test e-commerce section - DONE
- activate HTTP/2 for that domian (first time, once it worked it felt rewarding) - DONE
- set up 30 emails on said domain, send out emails on how to reset their passwords - DONE
- play Half life for 40 minutes - DONE
- Download GOT S06E09 - DONE
- cater all emails from clients... - DONE
proudest and most productive day of my life, really8 -
I love my thinkpad, it grew a feature where it shocks me every few minutes to let me know that i need to get shit done7
-
Today I got myself a "Surface Go".
I thought that it will be too cramped/small for web-developement, but now that I have one I am really surprised about the power/flexibility that this thing serves.
GG Microsoft, you have done something right.
19 -
This days whenever I have a groundbreaking idea, my firs step is...
Google that exact title, because every possible app ideas are already done ✅1 -
Client: Everything is perfect but few small changes to be done.
Me: Wow, that will be easy.
*Client lists 100 points*
Client : Those are small changes. I guess it will be done in a day.
* Yeah sure I am Superman * :/2 -
That moment you realise Typescript is not called Typescript because it has types but because of the immense amount of typing you have to do to get anything done...
7 -
Hope I don't jinx myself, but I've only worked 8 hours today. I haven't done that since I started 5 months ago...12
-
my boss: this fucking thing doesn't get done and everyone is coming after me about it
me, who doesn't have the access required to fix that for him:
4 -
Web products that disable text selection. I hate them, there are 0 reasons to do that, and still it's done.16
-
Greatest thing I've done with my life:
alias fucking="sudo apt-get"
Now FUCKING INSTALL THAT PACKAGE!!!3 -
That awesome moment when you're hailed as God Of Internet, and all you've done is just restart the router :D1
-
I just watched The Social Network and I'm so depressed that I'm through quarter of my life and haven't done anything significant yet.....😭😭9
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One of the worst thing :
Start a new project...
Have almost done everything...
See that someone else has done the same kind of app but... His is much better...3 -
Yay😊
The company I'm working at (as student developer) just told me that they would love to hire me full-time, when I'm done!
Love working here, so totally gonna take them up on that 😊14 -
Just moved to my own place, got more work done in 48hrs than I could've in a double that time with flatmates around. 💃👯
Now about that monitor setup...6 -
When you do something not part of your job but you were feeling nice today. Then it sets in that you just inherited that task. What have I done...
3 -
It's sad that such a primitive thing as a DDoS attack can bring down a huge chunk of the internet. Well done Dyn for being so unprepared.7
-
Today it was decided that we would hide a bug by making a new feature that only hides the bug
I don't like it, but it needs to be done for actual reasons5 -
I lost a bet today 😥 ... My surname is inman
I have to name my first born child
put-it
The bet? That apple wouldn't reject the app I submitted ... Fuck apple11 -
Sunday morning and I'm kind of afraid to start coding because I know that the time will fly while coding and I have other things that I have to get done today...
Anyone else feel the same?5 -
Worst dev advice?
Mgr: "Stop trying to use that agile shit for your projects. Waterfall is the only way proper application development is done."3 -
Got a call from a recruiter today
Recruiter: I'm trying to fill a full stack position in Charlotte.
Me: not interested
R: why
M: I hate NC
R: what can I do to make you reconsider
M: I want 120k
R: Ok, well please pass this opportunity along if you know someone who is looking
I *actually* just moved from there.
Guess someone didn't read my job history.
Convo was seriously less than a minute.9 -
My team are so needy and incapable of figuring anything out independently that I've basically not got any of my sprint tasks done so far. So today I told them that I was working from home for a day to actually get done work done, but I'm on Slack if they really need me.
The only observable difference now is that instead of just bugging me, they start every conversation with, "sorry, I know you're busy, but..."3 -
I'm starting on a new project and the person that is wanting this done recommended we have a "living document of requirements"
Fuck no!15 -
Can't believe this, my boss was pushing me to deploy the new mobile app version and now that its done he is traveling and didn't migrate the data that the app needs to works....2
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First commission done! Tofu 60%, Krytox 205g0 lubed creams, SA keycaps, and a special surprise foam dampening plate for extra thocc on that Brass plate.
29 -
That feeling when you find out a client you've done work for, for several months hadn't payed us this whole time...
-
A previous project manager thought that by marking every ticket as high priority, they would get done faster.
// priorities1 -
That moment when you enter the elusive state of mind where you're getting serious shit done aannnnnnnddd you're interrupted. FUCK!3
-
"it's the software that's causing the problem not the hardware (that I picked)"
*extensive research is done by technicians and senior developer*
"what's the problem?"
"shit hardware (that you picked)" -
Well done windows a zero day bug that escalates privilege. Google was so pissed about it they released the info before Microsoft could fix it 😂
8 -
No work done today, yesterday or the day before that.
Reason?
THE BOSS BROUGHT HIS PUPPY!
PUPPYCUDDLES are a totally legit reason for not working 😁
-
Me: "Of course it's technically possible. The problem here is that this would make the UX very confusing"
Project Manager: "So, when will it be done?"1 -
That feeling you get when you realize that switching to a pure tiling window manager is the best thing you've done in your life since switching to boxers.
3 -
Me: *makes todo list for things that need to be done today*
Also me: *wakes up late, eats breakfast, goes back to bed*1 -
Can marketing (and PM) asshats take a moment, think about the word "just", the amount of time they are using it and STOP USING AT ALL. It's fucking irritation to hear that word.
for example, it just needs to be get done, OR
just do an AJAX call and it'll be done.5 -
I took 5 hours to do something using Chat GPT that manually could've done in less than hour.
Am i cool or what? 😎
Fuck everyone who does the above13 -
Client - "hi, I got the mail. Is the app complete.......","...you've done this part?....","...have you done that blabla section..."
😑..I already wrote it in the mail that it is complete, dumbass. And Why don't u just flipping RUN it and see if this part and that section is working properly and tell me if your highness can spot something incomplete.
No I'm not overreacting. He acts like this all the time.2 -
He took everything home that he took from home to create a workplace form himself... man the office was empty when he was done...1
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I once reviewed some code that parsed HTML using regex (red flag #1), and it turns out that it had to be done that way because the company's HTML was so malformed that no actual parser would accept it without erroring1
-
"you got all that done in a day?"
that's what happens when you work *with* your framework instead of against it1 -
Their intent is great but if they are over saturating the market with mediocre developers then that is a bad thing.
The reason i say that is because they are often cheaper and more eager than skilled individuals that want the job done properly.5 -
//rant
So I'm a BI consultant, been doing this for about 6 years now, and I'm pretty good at the data stuffs. Now I had to complete a project for a client where we call a web service and it had to be done in .NET. I wrote a console app in C# that called the WS, dumped the data then a stored proc processed the staging tables into final tables that our visualization tool can consume.
It works, it's done.
Mind you I'm not a pure .NET developer.
And now that it's completed and working this fucking .NET dude that works for my client is basically giving me an attitude talking about "why wasn't it done as a Windows service? Blah, blah" Like WTF!!??? I get that he's the C# BSD but like chill bruh!!
It's annoying as fuck having to work on projects that are not your area of EXPERTISE and then be ridiculed by other elitist assholes about it.
Doesn't happen much, but fuck it's something I hate about dev. FYI, if it was the opposite I would just be asking questions for understanding, not being a sarcastic prick.
//rant done5 -
!Dev
Fuck that day, honestly. Today during my driving lesson I was a witness of a car crash literally 5 meters in front of me (the older man cut the road of other guy, that other guy hit the old man's car and old man has hit the lamp post. Good thing no was injured, except of few bumpers, car doors and lamp).
The train which was supposed to take me back to Leiden was 10 minutes late, so I couldn't catch the earlier bus.
When I got off the train, went to catch a next bus, there was huge crowd outside, because police was taking care of the suspicious bag left in front of the train station (pic). Lots of cop, lots of people. Fortunately that wasn't a bomb.
The only positive thing was that I helped some nice Hindi guy find his bus 😁
25 -
My strategy is really really dumb. I go outside and smoke... ive done this for so long that im now at the point that im terrified that if i stop smoking i wont get unstuck. pathetic isnt it?3
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BOSS: Hey we should start implementing this thing in that program
ME: Yes but everything that is required for that at lower level is not yet done
BOSS: Just pretend it's done
ME: that is stupid, even if we have a general idea on how it will be done what's the point of writing code that relies on something that is not yet defined, I need to read that stuff and I don't know how we will structure that data
BOSS: Just make a guess you will fix it when the lower level stuff is done
ME: But it makes no sense! We will basically have to rewrite ground up everything
BOSS: also can you check the printer n°3 it doesn't connect to my PC
😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄6 -
My Windows friend: They say I need to setup Environment variables!!
Me: Oh! I've done that before.
After 5 minutes...
Me: How do I get into that Advanced Settings???!!!4 -
dev goals? get shit done!
I have this common illness among devs:
I start projects and never really finish them.
Hate that. Feels so empty.
So this year I finally want to get shit done.4 -
"But we already decided on this"
- or-
"We've done it this way before"
2 excuses that seem to allow you implement / design what ever the fuck you desire4 -
An interface is like a pm. It defines the tasks that need to get done, but doesn't know and care about how to do them; if they're getting done they're happy.
-
If only it were that easy...
...
display: flex;
align-items: center;
justify-content: center;
Done!
😁
1 -
When you're in the middle of a story and management starts repoting bugs related to that story.
I'M NOT DONE YET!! -
Me: I have so much to do! How the hell am I going to get all this done?!
**hears someone say something about some framework/library I don't know**
Me: hmmm let me google that real quick then I'll get back to work...
**3 hours later**
Me: damnit! I'm never going to get my work done! -
Me: flutter upgrade
*15 minutes later*
Me: cool all done!
Me: flutter run
Flutter: gotta redownload that successfully installed update all over again because fuck you!
*cries in corner*5 -
I hate web dev because I know enough to know how it "should" be done, know that it's not done that way, but also don't know enough to do it that way quickly.
Or why I spent the last 2 days scripting deployment of a website that costs 9$ a year to run, when I couldn't find a deployment script anywhere else.3 -
When you're done a project for someone that took 3 weeks: so you ask them to pay, and they tell you they don't want it anymore. THE FUCK2
-
Just started getting LinkedIn messages from colleagues. I've just completed 6 years in the org that I joined as a fresher.. WHAT HAVE I DONE!??!
-
I really want to stress that we should add the ticket for adding the missing test cases in *this* sprint and not postpone it any further.
-- "Isn't there something more important to be added instead?"
There. ALWAYS. Is. Something. MORE. Important. The real problem was that we implement the test cases in the past to begin violating our definition of done. We have to fix and one point and we have to own that decision as nobody else will care about passing tests and test coverage. It's our job to care for that.
Yes, we can instead focus on all the other high-priorities task that should have been done yesterday, yet that won't change the fact that large part our codebase will remain an untested messy blackbox just asking for weird bugs and wild goosechases in the future.
Don't hide behind "high priority tasks". A job is done when it is fucking done and tests are part of that. Hurrying from one important task to the next will just mean we'll never do it. There is no better time than right now.
If code coverage got left behind in the past, then we'll have to suck it up in order to fix it as soon as possible, otherwise we'll just suck forever.1 -
I now have 4 monitors at my workstation and all it has done is convince me that any amount over 3 is just unnecessary.2
-
Confucius says: not everything that can be done tomorrow, should be done today.
Let's just say it was an extension of the shit show that occurred this week and sweep it under the rug 🤐
Happy fucking Friday!!!7 -
Whenever we think that we are almost done with the project, client realizes more things he wants in the product.5
-
when the project is "almost done" when you join in, but you discover that nothing is working properly and there's placeholder text in the whole database.
-
I'm fucking done.
I honestly can't see how developers like to work for years on a single project. Nothing on the side, just the one project. Fuck I'm a year in and I've already been pushing my patience.
After working on something for half a year I want some diversity, but every time I ask for it I get the "we need you doing this" card. I've asked plenty of times for my manager to find someone else to do part of my work, and every time I get the same thing. "We're looking for someone, don't worry". Yeah my ass you've been saying that for months and I still haven't seen a job opening.
Honestly, in a month or so I'm gonna tell my manager that I'm quitting soon, so he has some time to actually go look for someone. If he doesn't, not my problem.
For real though, the company is nice, people are chill, I'm just lacking challenge, and no matter how many times I bring it up, nothing's being done with it.
What will I do when I quit? I have no fucking clue, but anything's better than doing the same repetitive shit day in day out. Fuck it I'll probably go balls deep on my own projects for a few months, see if I can generate an income there.
If that doesn't work out I'll just go back to the life of sucking someone's dick for a monthly salary.4 -
If is funny when you see a code challenge that requieres to reverse and array and you use ruby.
array.reverse! #fucking done5 -
When you feel like you are getting so much stuff done, that you don't want to stop!!!
Need to get some sleep though! -
Learning C# .NET Core for a PWA + server + DB project that a client wanted when he could have done all the backend stuff himself.
I ended up burning out because of that project and the crippling hate for C#.10 -
When your teacher tells you to run a model that uses a 1gb dataset on a computer that has 256 mb ram.
Ah, what sin have I done, my lord? :/ -
I'm sorry, but I'm so fucking done with Hinglish.
I wish tutorials that merge the two have an indication of it in their titles.3 -
I want catch previous developer and cut his finger off. If you don't know hot the job should be done don't do that job.
12 -
That moment of panic when you think you have done nothing all day before you remember that you integrated 2 libraries AND contributed back with a PR of feature enhancements. Today was a good day!
-
Have a palindrome day @Stuxnet
I ran out of rants to ++, apparently I've already done that before 😂
7 -
Best part of intern developper : that feel when you present what you've done to the users, and they're fond of it.
-
Have you ever worked in a team that actually did everything right?
I have never seen anyone talk about a team in which things got done.
I'm a solo coder, so, don't really know either way. Sounds like mostly, teams are a mess b/c they aren't done right for the most part?
I dont know actually, but seems that way.10 -
When you can't get any work done because devRant pushed out an update that includes notifications...7
-
So these same mother fuckers that think 8:00 is reasonable time for a meeting, have decided that the health checks need tk be done by 7:00
But no, I must just be grateful to have work2 -
Guys...
I finally switched from eclipse to netbeans! *hurray*
But it was not easy...
Netbeans didnt want to import first, so i coded myself a little program that prints a complete config file for my project...
So that was done.
But the colors... So ugly.
So i changed them to my eclipse colors.
Finally, after 3 hours of configuration and getting to know how exporting works, I AM DONE!
EclipseUsers--;6 -
Timesheets, timesheets, timesheets. Business bureaucracy. Stuff like this is just a way to prevent any real work from actually getting done.
I know im being unreasonable but fuck that noise.3 -
"Everything in life is replaceable, except your Mac, if you broke that... You are done ..."
< A week, and I dropped my Mac... :-/ -
Just spent 10 minutes debugging why my game is launching with the console presets and UI only to see that I set my configuration to Console...
Well done...2 -
Have you ever done tab (thinking that the text will indent) and enter to go to new line in Outlook and sent email by accident ? I have done couple of times now ! Not good .1
-
Is it weird that, despite the professional setting, when a client actually thanks us/me for swift/efficiently done job that I feel a little happier with myself?1
-
Spend an hour talking to junior dev about not nesting multiple #ID selectors in sass. He is still convinced it's better for 'rendering performance' and refuses to change it. Should I ask him to add 200 elements with the same style on one page to illustrate the problem?4
-
That feeling when you're almost done with your personal project using an entirely new language and framework :)) been working on it for the last 2 weeks. 62 commits in!!2
-
Worked for 12 full intense hours and now that I'm done I dont know if I should eat, sleep or hit the gym...4
-
Something that really grinds my gears recently is ”black boxes”. I get a dll to work with, completly without documentation and any desceiptions. An hour later people asks me, ”so hows it going, done yet?”.
No, im not done yet and I probably wont be in any near future you fucking morons, start documenting your fucking software as normal human beings.2 -
!Rant
CTO: "We have a project that is the top most priority get it done"
CTO: "We have some tickets logged for another project get them fixed this is of the highest priority"
CTO: "I want a new feature in another project I want this done now It is top priority!"
Next day, Client comes in CTO shows him around
CTO: "You are still working on this!"
... Arg, its as if the guy thinks giving something a top priority gets it done instantly3 -
Yesterday, I received an email from the boot-camp that my contract was terminated because of HARASSMENT. They kicked me out from Slack and Github. They're treating me like a sh*t! I haven't done anything bad against them. In fact, they treated me poorly and unjustly. They didn't have an explanation about the HARASSMENT that I've done. Where is the justice about this?
25 -
Are WYSIWYG web editors worth it? Or is it better to just code entire websites without something like that? I've only ever done the latter.11
-
Just subscribed to this. My first subscription or even purchase, from the store. That should tell the developers something about their work. Well done.1
-
Anyone else hate the phrase "as soon as possible" with a passion from the mouth of a client? I feel like saying it'll be f*cking done when it's done. Yes you're important but so is everyone else. Be patient, you only asked me to do it 3 hours ago. Just because of that, you've now gone to the back of the queue.4
-
On the current project, the deadline was determined independently. Then, development was told we needed the full project done by that deadline with no consideration for actual development time.2
-
This is how it works in my company:
-> Spend entire day in meetings - don’t get anything done.
-> Start working at 6pm if you want to get anything done.
Those who have gotten promotions are the ones that have bought into this system.
I guess I won’t be getting a promotion any time soon7 -
Why do SAMBA network drives have to suck this much? Yeah I understand that compiling to a network drive is probably a bad idea just for performance reasons alone but can't you at least not fuck with my git repo?
$ git gc
Enumerating objects: 330, done.
Counting objects: 100% (330/330), done.
Delta compression using up to 24 threads
Compressing objects: 100% (165/165), done.
Writing objects: 100% (330/330), done.
Total 330 (delta 177), reused 281 (delta 151), pack-reused 0
error: unable to open .git/objects/7e: Not a directory
error: unable to open .git/objects/7e: Not a directory
fatal: unable to mark recent objects
fatal: failed to run prune
$ git gc
error: unable to open .git/objects/00: Not a directory
fatal: unable to add recent objects
fatal: failed to run repack
$ git gc
Enumerating objects: 330, done.
Counting objects: 100% (330/330), done.
Delta compression using up to 24 threads
Compressing objects: 100% (139/139), done.
Writing objects: 100% (330/330), done.
Total 330 (delta 177), reused 330 (delta 177), pack-reused 0
Removing duplicate objects: 100% (256/256), done.
error: unable to open .git/objects/05: Not a directory
error: unable to open .git/objects/05: Not a directory7 -
The funny thing is that a lot of stuff feels cool when it's not you doing it. Once you've learned it, done it, it becomes mundane, easy, boring, simple.
All that I have to go on is the memory of my naive self who thought something was cool, before me doing it, and the excitement of the moment, to have done it. After that it feels like boasting to a fireman about putting out a candle with 2 wet fingers. -
That moment when your task is to refactor a Web site and you discover that every element is positioned absolute and all responsiveness is done by callbacks attached to window resize event2
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Sick of fucking working with 'engineers' who cannot see that the piece of shit application that they have written is not 'done' until it has been tested. No it is not production fucking ready you fucking yes man.
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That moment when you are working on a project that controls a electric circuit and realize, after the softwarepart is done, that the circuit doesn't work as it should :/
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Don't you just love estimating the story points of a ticket that is completely irrelevant to your role. How do I estimate work that I have never done in my life? 🙄4
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People who call themselves developers, but lack creativity, are too scared to fail and insist that something can't be done.
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You are almost done with your project. And lowest version of IE it needs to works on is 10 and that makes you happy! That means you are getting old because you remember the IE 6 days.1
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What is it about clients that provokes them to ask about the same feature every day? No, it’s not fucking done yet, I don’t have a team of devs under me who work overtime to finish it overnight. It’s not going to get done any faster if you keep fucking bothering me about it.
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Demo
Backend Team : No one want to listen to technical details. A short 2 min demo what we have done.
Shareholders : Have you done anything?
Frontend Team : half an hour demo of validators and fields that sum values from other fields
Shareholders: Wow that is awesome, great job, nice to see, great value, lot of progress.4 -
!Rant
How to tell a client that you are currently busy with other client projects once those are done then I can I take their project.3 -
I actually do have something to rant about!
The people I've decided to work with... are complete and utter fools. They don't want to keep updated with new practices and merely talk about awesome stuff... Let me elaborate.
The first person is someone I spent really many hours just writing with, I've helped him build on his personal project, which has now become our project (which I've done most of the work on now). He keeps writing about things that aren't fucking relevant for the current task - furthermore, he completely refuses to use any type of collaboration software in order to keep an eye on tasks we want to, and already have completed. He likes Git but doesn't provide helpful git messages, sometimes even stuff like 'forgot this'.. never any freaking description of what's actually been done! Not even after agreeing it should be done, he just doesn't understand what a helpful message is apparently.
I might be a bit special regarding wanting to follow practices, but how the fuck do you make any amount of money by being so ignorant!? He was a WP 'developer' a while ago, and has since changed to JS and are using a framework which he doesn't understand - he can't even remember what the documentation states.
So why do I 'work' with him? He knows a lot of phrases he's read in books, blogs, and the likes. That makes him really inspirational and positive and he really wants to become successful(like me!). But over the last few months, I've realized how bad he is at programming - he doesn't know basic programming concepts and have a hard time applying any sort of knowledge to his programming. If it's not pre-built, he can't use it, not even if the documentation has specific examples. He barely grasps the concept of binding data to a variable. He wouldn't know how to access it again though, it's just for the sake of binding it to some existing functionality.
The other guy really likes his old style. He hired me to maintain some application. Which has turned out to be a hell of several small tasks he needs to be finished or reworked - with no clear definition of the task. Most of the time, he'll do some initial changes, show the changes to me, vaguely explain what they do (not what he's trying to achieve) and first THEN ask me to do these changes, most often in some files that don't exist (he uses the wrong filenames so I have to guess/ask where the changes need to be made).
To top it all off, old syntax is used and don't get me started on the spaces+tabs for indenting lines... Because I've already added a great ESLint+Prettier conf and everything should be nicely formatted according to pre-defined rules.
But he won't take the time to install some plugins in his editor and I'm left with sometimes buggy, badly formatted code (the code I have to make changes with!) - that's while he several times have agreed that I can do what I want and that he even questions his own ways when looking at my changes which he calls by-the-book.
So why the motherfucking fuck do I keep working with him?
Well, he keeps paying so that's really nice - I haven't been able to properly execute the bigger tasks(which pays more) though, due to a lack of information or some badly written code I couldn't quite figure out how works (at a glance).
He also keeps talking about these new projects he wants to make.. he even has these freaking papers with descriptions and data-structures and we converse really good about these new awesome projects. He also likes cryptocurrencies(which is an interest of mine he has inflamed quite a bit) and lastly, he seems like a genuinely nice guy who I'd like to spend some time with even besides coding and work.
So now I stand here - stuck with people that make me feel like a demi-god or something because I use a git style-guide and ESLint+Prettier with the Airbnb style-guide.
What should I do? I'd really like some remote work and have a desperate need for money... So much so, that I might even have to pick up a fulltime job, in order to save my sorry ass - all because I like speaking with people who just like the thought of programming...
I'm actually quite lonely with my thoughts and they are the two only people I've had some sort of relationship with - who has an invested interest in programming/dev... I really like that, despite having to follow their thoughts as they surely can't follow mine.
Please be my friend or give me some paid work lol.
Also, I've been moving the last couple weeks - those weeks has been the most stressful of my life and have not contributed to my overall wellbeing and relations with people... It's good to be back at the computer again and be reading some devRant though!1 -
SharePoint. Never used it directly but this far every project that the company has done with it results in us having to rewrite it using traditional technologies several months later.
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That moment when your co-worker merges his branch and removes all of the work you have done for the last 7 hours, two minutes before clock out time...13
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Boss: how long would that feature take?
Me: About 2 weeks to implement and test.
Boss: hmm, can it be done it 1 week instead?
Me: .....3 -
Wanting to write some useful open source Java for my github portfolio. Biggest issue is that somebody has already done it for anything that comes to mind :(3
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Part time job, that involves coding. Going to classes and also doing coding.... going on devrant... and also doing coding... I'm really amazed that I get anything done.
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Finally performing that dev rite of passage: working on my personal site.
Would have done it sooner if I had design skills.5 -
Just done with The Phoenix Project. Amazing book, I got if as an ebook. Wouldn’t mind more books similar to that style1
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I take a task, break it down in smaller tasks which can be done in one day, more if some problem came. But let's say if it finishes within a day and I have free time, I don't start the next thing instead I feel good that I'm done. Is it only me? 🙄2
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I'm so done. Developers that force saving data on my C drive you are RUINING MY LIFE AHHHHHHHHHH
you just made the list4 -
Aggravated after having pointed a remote coworker at documentation that would speed along some development he was assigned to do, only to find weeks later, and several "talking past each other" conversations later, that he had disregarded it or severely misunderstood it and went his own route. Showed him today how something was done under what I supposed he had been doing and he reveals he "didn't know" it was to be done that way.1
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!ok
A guy just told me that printing variables to check for errors is better than debugging!
I am done talking to him 😂6 -
I love it when a coding assignment is to take the last assignment and do one thing more optimized !!! 😄😄
All the hard stuff is already done and all I have to do is some optimization that I’ve done before in other languages and just have to implement in this one 😄6 -
I was told to write a program without being given any spec, and now get comments that I should have done more of top-down approach. Yay.
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Setter and getter are anti-patterns. Eradicate all of them from your code with no mercy and you'll see your code magically transform for the better.5
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There is a time in every programmer's life that the only thing to be done is to take a deep breath and reboot the server.
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Every body has that moment when they code their first ever project and feel like flying on top of the world..
just remembering that moment when i had done my first ever app and i was like wooow i made this work.
so sharing my first ever project
https://github.com/iamaamir/...
i would love to see all the others had done as their first project feel free to post your's one
2 -
I'm switching from that thing that is 'almost done' to another thing that was also 'almost done' months ago... and now going to spend some hours just getting reacquainted with it.
:P1 -
Why do large companies think that throwing more people at a project will help get things done faster?
Ironically - its had the adverse effect on the project I'm currently on.13 -
Totally forgot that protonmail released an android app. Now that I've tried it, I have to say that it's absolutely fantastic! Really well done protonmail team :-)
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BOOM HOTFIX !!
Finally fixed the issues that nobody could fix, went trough 4 different senior developers, finally done it..
Now what am I going to do with the 2h i have left on the planning for that ticket.1 -
This awesome moment when you‘re late into your thesis, find a possible improvement that would require new measurements, but then find out that this improvement can‘t be done with your constraints and there is nothing to do❤️1
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I been doing a online course and they provide a exercise to do in Jupyter notebook.
I notice that the exercise they wanted us to do this time is too complex. After finishing the exercise I submit it for review.
I thought I am doing an exercise but I had actually done an assignment and submit it :(
Lucky I pass that assignment. It is the worst misunderstanding I have done during my student life. -
after all those years of studying thinking that what you've studied was the way people in industry's done.. think again.. anyway i love my lecturers..2
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How to complete what you started and why small team / organization get things done than bigger ones.
"Don’t Shave That Yak!"
https://seths.blog/2005/03/... -
We had a meeting where all the devs on a large sprint team were told they must attend late that evening. The gist of that meeting was 'well done your all working hard and done some good work but we have over committed so work harder!" but they took an hour and a half to make the point.
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Having to give time estimates for custom projects involving functionality unlike anything you've done before - FUCK OFF. How is that possible?!2
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Being a woman is terrifying. You walk down the street and realize that EVERY single man is strong enough to physically overpower you, should he want to do to you the thing you don't want. Even given that this heinous act has legal repercussions in some countries, what's done is done, and you'll have to live with the trauma forever.13
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That feeling when anything you do in any platform can be done in Javascript and most likely there already is a library for it1
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While in chat lobby of *favorite game* tell others that fixing issues they bitch about is done by pressing Alt+F4, and then Alt+Ctrl+Del twice.
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Tired of imperative different-yet-all-the-same programing languages. What's the most awesome funcional language ever?
Bonus: sweet projects you've done in that language9 -
I know your code is great and that you learned about scrum a month ago. But I didn't know the scrum training had to say you don't assign yourself tasks, mark them as done and be surprised when other team members haven't done them, two minutes to five the day before a national holiday (yesterday).
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"just make that one change really quick and let me know as soon as it's done" oh ok.....Cause its always that simple....you know how to do my job now since you clearly can't even do your own -_-
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Well done Samsung! There is nothing better than wake up in the morning just to find out that fucking VR Service ate 15% of the battery overnight.
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Witnessing something take shape that was once only an idea, and finally reach completion becoming some service or tool, an actual thing that you can use to get stuff done.
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I have done a fucking awful thing and its that I started a project and I'm using Flask and SQLAlchemy but the part I'm stuck on is something Ive never done in regular SQL, so I cant even communicate what I want to do properly.
Time to binge some SQL real quick. -
That feeling, when you ought to be implementing workflows for processes ... that are not defined at all. You ask 10 people how stuff is done and you get 14 ways of how its done.
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I didnt ask you if it could be done but I asked you how it could be done. Those are two very different things.
I hate it when people won't change the way they work because it wasn't told them that they could do that. You are a human being, not an engine. Adapt.1 -
It is Saturday 19:30 and I am spending my time writing functions for save/load data in a binary tree. Recursion and fscanf are not a good combo so far, but that is the task. When the code is done I have to get some math done.
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That feeling when you've done TDD but there's still bug because tests were not good enough..
I guess every day is a school day.. -
Some days I look back at the work I had done that day and think to myself, "what the fuck took me so long?".1
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f*ck chrome extensions
that shit can only be built with pure luck...
I was supposed to finish this by today evening ( I was the moron who told everyone that it will be done by today ) and I really thought it would be done by then and slept peacefully that there are no errors to haunt me tomorrow
but this .... this thing somehow evolved overnight BUT BACKWARDS!!!!
what worked last night doesn't work now and I am 100% sure that I will waste my time printing variables in console and it will start working when it is done f*cking up my mind1 -
Local government promoting the development of social apps! The only good thing that they have done :)1
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If all of that movie is really being done automatically via the photos app, then you know what I take back what I said about Apple losing its mojo1
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> be me
> client proposed changes
> "Get this done now"
> me "ok I'll get right on it"
> wheresthechangesihavetodobecausethisis_alreadychanged.php
> Call client
> "oh yes, about that, I already did it, thanks"
> ???
> profit -
"Hey, listen. I have this thing that should have been done like, a month ago. I know that's not your fault but now it's your problem..."2
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I think whether this is even a project that should be done NOW
or if there's some critical dependency that some monkey just happened to have forgotten to tell me... -
Anyone else get the feeling that you're whiling away your weekend when you could be getting stuff done that you found important/likeable? It sucks to realize you get 32 hours of waking time and not one meaningful ("important but not urgent") thing gets done in that time.5
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I think the Dev got it all wrong here, Apple is a fashion brand that focuses on UX not innovation.
Those using Apple's product just want to get shits done. -
We are supposed to make a portfolio in school explaining who we are and projects that we made. The only problem is that I have not done shit, the only thing that I've done that was only for the most part ripped from a tutorial (everything else might as well been copy pasted) was a calculator that barely works and looks like shit. So I just sat down for hours got nothing done and felt awful.
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Story of my life in the office
I work my ass off and get the job done, almost 4 to 5 hours before my shift ends. And then I casually sit with other colleagues and chat a bit.
And my boss comes in and says you have no work ethics and are lazy.
And i'm like you fucker I got my job done, why can't you see that. I doesn't mean that my job is easy if I get it done before time. I just means that i'm more fucking efficient then the other employees.While the other employees were gossiping, I was on my desk working. Why can't that fucker see that.
Not to mention as I get my job done before time, I get burdened with other people's work, coz apparently they are overloaded with work.
Fucking idiocracy.1 -
Just wanna rant about something in general..
I'm quite serious about time commitments. I can't stand people who change their words at the last minute because all these weeks they were just fuckng around not preparing and doing that had to be done.
For fucks fake, we have been discussing every intricate details of things that had to be done!!
And even worse, they expect you to bear the consequence and delay all your plans for their convenience..
:/ -
“Your email address has been blacklisted and you can no longer send emails to this domain. If you feel that this has been done by mistake, I can assure you that I was not.”
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Vague requirement for feature A received from client
Business consultant refines
Example mapping done
Acceptance criteria defined
Scheduled in sprint
Development done
Unit tests passed
Pull request reviewed
Code merged and deployed to system test
Functional testing successful
Deployed to UAT
Client asked to sign off
Client: "Actually I don't want that feature." -
!rant
Just finished a backlog item that got rid of redudant code in about 10 classes and almost done with a feature that the marketing people will like
Who knew fridays could be this productive 😎1 -
How to realize that experience matters : make a demo where all your code works, but everything fails because the other dev has done a shitty job 😅1
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Snapshot testing give me the chilliest of chills because for all that matters we have to assume once that what one's done is uttermostly correct
I mean to err is human right -
the one who constantly keeps saying. "I could've done it myself but I don't much time, but it's not that tough, won't take much time." 😠
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Is it just me or is devrant a little bit slow to load rants. If so why is that? What should be done to make it better?6
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Why the fuck would you have online documentation that has incorrect information?
My PM now thinks I am telling Stories on why I am not done with an integration I am usually done with in a day 🤦🏿7 -
there is no time in the budget for refactoring the code that is being shipped to live.
the only refactoring i get done is the code going into my portfolio. -
The moment when you are given a group project and you do most of the work, by most I mean all the work but the other members say if they were doing it they would have done it that way which would have been better and you are like yeah!!! IF only you had done it :/
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What are some interesting open source projects to contribute to? I wanna start to do some contributions to popular OS projects but I've never done that before so... Any recommendations?3
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That moment when a 6 month solo project is done and the next day they tell you fuck the asset tracking system
We need you to turn that into pastel evolution
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Good bye hard work
Hello sleepless nights -
My boss and under-boss apparently think that building an entire CMS from ground (as in, using a framework and building it on that) on your own is a job done in 2 months.14
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I really hate these TestDome tests. Fuck!!!! I just done ruined my chances of getting that job after that great interview 🤕1
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months ago approve MR on different project done by teammate
completely forget the existence of that project later -
Done and with that JS2PS convertor now need to Run that code. God Brace us.....
But first need to create types for each function and services.
FML need to complete it by this weekend1 -
Any advice for when ur managers don't do their job well and if u say something is not done right, then they will let u do it?
FFS im tired that shit not being done right but im not looking for doing their job for them while they get paid more and sit in facebook3 -
Thought i'd try using VSCode.. initialized folder for git... and then proceeded to delete all my nodeschool work that i'd done over the past year... ARAGH!2
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when out and about, don't think that is your fault, but rather how to be done in order to bring again the fun2
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Picked up the latest version of Test Driven Development work Python. Haven't done much test driven development so time to change that .
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Android OS is officially done in 2022 and belongs on a graveyard with all the other projects that started out good but got ruined later by corporate bullheads1
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I am happy that Finally I was bitching about processing large number of email templates,sending them and showing statistics is done. :)2
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Suggestions for cool/fascinating math problems that are hard to solve, but if done correctly can be performed very efficient? Wanna build some puzzles and need some ideas :)3
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Ignorance, pure ignorance.
Being selfish and just do what has to be done and let request from other people just roll off that curtain of ignorance. -
I'm soon to be done with my Dockerised project that I expect to be popular. Where should I host it that's affordable, but scaleable if needed?3
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Well, I haven't done almost anything not dev related for the last 6 years, but I think the thing that helped me the most is gaming1
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Biggest hurdle so far has to be school, I've always hated it and am finally done.
It's not that I hate learning or something, I just hate wasting my time doing things that don't matter. -
That feeling and satisfaction that you're finally don't your project, just before realizing that your not done
A whole lot of debugging awaits... -
Today it took me *five* commits and nearly 2 hours to tidy up a module before doing a tiny 5-minute change.
I could have just done my change but that thing was so messy, I first had to straighten things up.
It's not that I didn't expect that, the module was mainly done by my dearest co-worker who's code usually causes me anaphylactic shocks.
But I'm always amazed how hard it can be to follow a style guide, and ours is really small anyway.2 -
Java introduced generics in version 5 which was a game changer, but what has it done since then? Is there anything in 6 - 8 that isn't just syntactic sugar?2
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I really like that SO have that documentation section. It's teaching me things about writing documentation that Lord knows University will never teach me. It's great to see how things are done in the industry compared to the ancient practices we're taught.1
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I wish I didn’t have the ability to feel emotions - being completely emotionally blunted… no feelings except only the mechanism for getting things done that I need to get done. I wish I could just switch them off forever… I would never need anyone. It sounds really nice. People upset me10
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Customers that keeping changing their mind.. and when you are done with it they are like... Oh no wait, the other way was better...1
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to be happy about weekend or to cry at all the work that needs to be done before heading to weekend1
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Dude, stop using dependency injection for your loggers. We don't need to inject that crap. Just define it and be done.9
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The video shorts done by the devRant team surpasses the crap that shows like "Silicon Valley" or "Halt and Catch Fire" put out.
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Working day 2 of 2023… (yes, I got the year right this time)
Another day of CDK, and cursing how far it can at points lack behind in features. It’s only annoying when you’d actually want to use one of those new features. 4 issues resolved today, only 3 (known issues) on my backlog before this one’s done.
Oh, and TIL that one of my first tasks in my new role (that I can transfer to once I’m done with this project) is to write some IaC. Happy days. It’s pretty much all I’ve done for gawd knows how long. So good nothing ever changes.2 -
!rant
I have realized that I need to redefine the meaning of the word "work" in my brain to mean "anything that needs to be done regardless of whether it's fun/interesting/engaging or not".
I should have realized and done that a long time ago.1 -
That feeling when you accept a simple project and when you almost done the client requirements escalate quickly. *crying*
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Sorry for my question. But how to inform a client that they want to see the websites I've designed? That the truth is that I haven't done anything because my job is purely backend?3
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