Can't stop laughing.... Brilliant post...

preface: I'm fucking exhausted and angry.

Why does everyone assume I know how to do frontend?
Why am I always the design girl?
Why?

You hire me to do backend. STOP GIVING ME FRONTEND DESIGN CRAP. I HATE IT.

AND STOP GODDAMN YELLING AT ME FOR NOT MAKING SOMETHING RESPONSIVE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW.

yes i can learn, but I CAN'T FUCKING PICK UP A SKILL LIKE THAT IN A DAY. Also, I fucking hate it.

STICK IT UP YOUR (min-width: 1400px) ASS.

But seriously, I've spent 13 hours today figuring out completely new things (webpack, susy, express.js, cloudinary, responsive best practices, more webpack) because the boss is in panic-mode (his preferred state) and wants this project released last monday.

guess what? it isn't done.
because i still don't know how to do everything. and ofc there's nobody to ask because there never fucking is.

Seriously, boss-man. hire a fucking designer, and stop being an illiterate sales goon while you're at it. ffs.

Me: I have been working for you for almost 12 years now, and I feel that my current pay is not comparable to the work I currently produce. Therefore, in order to secure my future as your employee, I must request an immediate raise in pay to a level that is acceptable.

Boss: I can't afford it. If you want more money, you need to bring in more clients, plain and simple.

Me: I'm serious. If I don't get a raise, I will qui---

Girlfriend: Babe, stop talking to yourself and come to bed...

Me: Okay... [looks in mirror] This isn't finished...

can't stop laughing on this...lol

Can't stop sharing dis

can't stop laughing

"Today I won't code, I'll just play some games or watch TV and relax!"

"Hmmm... I'll just fix this one small thing here... shouldn't take long. And then its time for some gaming!"

* 3 hours later *

Still coding, wtf is wrong with me

All to often I have trouble falling asleep because I can't stop thinking about my code.

I'm so excited about this small little feature I implemented in devRant unofficial UWP.
Can't stop using it… 😅

I hope you'll enjoy it (coming in v2.0.0-beta15 very soon). 😁

If grade school was like stack overflow:

Kid: "I can't figure out how to subtract on this problem."
Teacher: "LULZ you fuckin dumbass, someone already asked about subtraction! Learn to Google and stop wasting my time!"

Hey guys,

I have decided to stop worrying about privacy. I have nothing to hide so why should I even care.

I just created an Instagram and a Facebook account and I also installed WhatsApp again and I ordered an Amazon Alexa and a Google home device as well. These voice assistants are just so useful 😊.

I am also gonna use windows again, everything just works and it is the most used operating system so it has to be the best one! It is way securer than Linux because it is not open source and thus hackers can't find vulnerabilities because they can't see the code.

Saw this on Twitter can't stop myself from posting this

Stop buying domains that you don't use you fucking idiots. Can't find any domain for my new project. But none of them are being used. Fucking retards.

You realize that you are a developer when you can't stop thinking about a bug that has been messing your code.

Kids, don't start programming. It's like a drug, when you've started you can't stop.
You'll skip homework and forget about any potential friends.

Can't stop won't stop learning!

- "Finance are too busy to look at this"
- "Finance have too much to do"
- "We can't this sorted at the minute because finance are overloaded"

Finance just sent me a request for "detailed description" for each business trip i've made. Attached is a spreadsheet report with 122 columns detailing every facet of my travel expenses that they have recorded so far. Not even just one row per trip, but one row per item, like:

- Trip 1 - Airport parking: .....
- Trip 1 - Airfare Outbound: ....
- Trip 1 - Airfare Inbound: ....

This is way you are too busy, because this is fucking ridiculous. Fix your shitty process and stop bitching.

FYI, your "detailed descriptions" can be found in the contracts we've signed, which outline all the travel needs, which you've already reviewed and signed off on. Get your shit together and stop bugging me

I am so bad at Smalltalk.. really, I feel like an idiot every time, and every time I end up in silence. Just talk to me something it-related, I can't stop talking. Does this happens to you too?

StackOverflow's mouse cursor effect is exponentially decreasing my productivity as I go through the day.

I can't stop watching it.

Kind of sad but true.
1) "If you don't love your job, take a home loan".
You will start loving it.

2) Take another loan, you will start loving your boss as well.

3) Get married. You will start loving your office too.

Source: LinkedIn

But can't stop anyone from ranting. :/

My family: Can you repair the printer ?

Me: No ...

My family: can't send my emails, fix it !

Me: No ...

My family: why this people can share my photos on Facebook ? Stop it now !

Me: Then stop sharing all your god damn life each time you eat, fart or go to the bathroom !!!! For fucks sake !

Also me: why have I started computer science ?

I need to stop reading devRant posts on the train and in public in general. These rants be cracking me up too much. Most awkward when you try to explain to someone who cares to know what's so funny and you know they can't relate so you're just sitting like.....

You can't stop stupid.But you can IP ban them.

I can't stop laughing 😂😂😂

Dear sales team please stop promising the customer stuff that doesn't exist within the system and then promising them dates for getting said functionality without discussing it with the product team let alone the development team. Also repeating 'but I promised the customer they'd have it by august' will not make 6 months of development work fit into that time frame!

Client: Hi Johny, we finnaly finished design of our eshop. Half of year of hard work. Can you code it in week? We have deadline. :(
I: Sure, i can code in speed of light.
Client: How about money?
I: Tripple of sallary.
Client: What?
I: My sallary also grow in speed of light.

Some clients can not understand they can't throw shits on my head. Take it, hire someone else or stop giving mi impossible conditions.

"Windows can't update because you don't have enough disk space"

HOW ABOUT YOU STOP FUCKING POPPING UP A GIANT UNFUCKOFFABLE OVERLAY IN THE MIDDLE OF MY VIDYA GAMES FOR THE 10000th TIME?

I fucking know I have no disk space, if you complain one more fucking time, I'll make disk space -- by deleting you.

(I'm joking, linux/mac game support is so fucking trash)

here's a shoutout to 90% of websites today:

NO, I DO NOT WANT YOUR F*CKING NEWSLETTER! STOP ASKING!

NO, I DO NOT WANT YOUR F*CKING NOTIFICATION! STOP ASKING!

NO, I DO NOT WANT TO SHARE MY F*CKING LOCATION! STOP ASKING!

NO, I DO NOT WANT ANY F*CKING COOKIES! STOP ASKING!

website publishers ary whining about adblockers, but keep shoving so much shit down our throats that even a dozen browser addons can't make the web usable. the internet was such a great place once, where did we go wrong?

(rhetorical question. it's when we made access to the internet so easy, that every 100% tech-illiterate idiot could get online.)

Someone went to HR complaining about never getting a lunch... We're told to work them out amongst ourselves and cover, but he's never once asked us to cover.

So now we HAVE to take lunch and we HAVE to make up that time by staying late or coming in early.

There are days when I'm on a roll and I don't WANT to stop to take lunch. It fucks with my rhythm and I end up breaking shit. We're all adults, why the fuck can't people act like it?

!rant

Someone just downvoted four of my answers on Stackoverflow just because I commented on one of his answers that "please include some description, just code won't be helpful"

PEOPLE IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT YOU ARE WRONG THEN GET THE FUCK OUT FROM OUR COMMUNITY AND STOP RUINING IT.

My work recently blocked all social media connections on their network.

On the plus side, they missed devRant 😄

I'M NOT HELPDESK. I CAN'T FIX YOUR BROWSER OPTIONS. I LOVE YOU TO FUCKING PIECES BECAUSE YOU STOP THE INCREDIBLY FUCKING STUPID CALLS, BUT I CAN'T HELP YOU and now I feel like a prick. Call your boss and make him do his fucking job. Please. I don't want to scream at you. I need you in my life...

STOP SHITTING ON PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES.
Now, I'm not talking to the people that don't take it too serious, but rather to people that think their language is superior and others inferior. Why shit on PHP? A lot of stuff is build with this, including devRant. For me, I'd love to learn any languages that has a proper use for me. (With this sentence I'm excluding all exoteric languages, because they are useless) If anyone says, Python is awesome as fuck, yeah, I FUCKING AGREE. Anyone telling me anything is crap, I disagree. If it's that terrible, how do you know about it? If it was never used ever in a project, how can you know its terrible? You can't. Unless you coded that thing yourself.

Next time don't waste your time on shit like that. I AM ALSO LOOKING AT THE HOLY WAR APPLE VS MICROSOFT VS LINUX

STOP WASTING YOUR TIME WITH SHIT LIKE THIS.

I can't get any work done because I can't stop playing with Bash for Windows.

DAMN YOU MICROSOFT

Yeah, if my so called "friends" can just stop making me feel guilty for staying in with my son instead of going out having beers in pretentious clubs, with music blasting at a billion decibels that we can't even have a decent conversation.

If you could just stop; that would be great.

I'm sorry I have to work. I'm sorry I can't leave my 6 year old alone in the house on a school night. I'm sorry I don't have an army of maids to look after him. I'm sorry I don't have personal drivers to take him to school. I'm sorry if your family or your wife's family is so fucking rich you're basically a kept man and now bored out of your wits.

Please, just fuck off with this toxic behavior. We are not in our 20s anymore.

Thank you.

Shit, I was supposed to work but found devrant today.. can't stop scrolling

You run a bank with over 10million customers and can't​ handle a nullpointerexception error.And java ssly.

"I'll stop using Windows, Google, Youtube, Facebook, etc and move to a fucking hipster unsupported linux distro, so that they can't spy me in my top secret activities such as watching porn and browsing /r/me_irl"

sigh...

"STOP PLAYING VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY"

Mom can't distinguish between me writing GUI and playing video games 😅

I found a new hobby: coding in many text editors (or IDEs) at the same time, because "I want to find out which one is better" (I don't know why I'm actually doing this, but I can't stop)

Wait, it's not a new hobby ... I already did this with C++ with using atom and Visual Studio at the same time, then I installed Clion too and VS and Clion were both running along with atom ...

My call team lost power. If our major clients try to call and can't, we're fucked. My boss isn't helping and I can't do shit about it without him, he just keeps saying they need to get power. The people they need for that aren't answering. How fucking difficult is it to stop jerking off long enough to help them out so we don't get fucked out of egregious amounts of money.

I've become a night worker. To put it mildly, it's become mildly annoying. I start studying/writing code at night and before I know it, it's morning. I can't seem to stop. I then end up feeling weak and sleepy during the day when I need to be awake. If I'm lucky, I get a few hours of sleep during the day. And then at night, it happens all over again. I need to fix this.

I... can't... fucking... stop... adding... new... features... to my... personal... projects... Help.

Got hired as a fullstack dev last august (first dev job). This was a 1 year contract. Was offered permanent employment today and I can't stop grinning :D

Reminder to myself.

If you want to get shit done, don't start playing Mass-Effect.
You can't stop until you finished the whole trilogy.

Can't stop laughing at these hack NASA jokes

Motherfucker, every fucking meeting on this project we have a fucking 3 week deadline to accomplish the fucking impossible.

And now they practically want me to rewrite the whole fucking application.

And my fucking boss can't fucking shut the fuck up and keep having "ideas" on new thing.

YEU FUKCING STUPID PIECES OF SHIT!!! HOW CAN WE ADD SHIT WHEN EVERYTHING IS HALF ASSED BECAUSE WE DONT STOP ADDING SHIT? FUCK YOU!

Can't we all just stop being selfish and have one web standard?

I've set up my server to only accept logins with SSH-keys, and permanently banning all IP:s that attempt login with passwords.

Now I can't stop watching the banned IP:s stacking up, it's like drugs to me.

I need some advice: How could you stop laughing at a meeting? Help!

Yesterday, in a meeting with the development team, my boss accidentally wrote "Puto System" on the board (of course, I cannot post the real name of the project). For those who don't speak spanish, "Puto" means "asshole".

Oh, I laughed so fucking hard XD Well, we continued with the meeting, but I couldn't stop laughing, and then, I was going to ask a question about one of my tasks, and accidentally said "hard" instead of "boubt" (in spanish "dura" instead of "duda") and all of us laughed again.

At the time I'm writing this post I can't remember that without laughing, help! I need to get serious :'v

I should be studying, but what am I doing instead? Trying out all kinds of linux distros, partitioning my hard drive, trying to install a linux distro ... Help

Holy shit why can't you just work. Stop talking about your kids from 9 am to 5pm with the orther person sitting next to you who clearly wants to get some work done.

Also, good on you for baking a cake and your kid saying this is the best cake. Every kid says that to your parent.

FFS, shut up and work, and let people around you work.

P.S. I need good headphones, preferably in ear wireless buds. I'm waiting for Pixel Buda 2.

The worst thing about being a dev is explaining to these fucktards that facebook can't be hacked.
But what is even worse, is when these dipshits say that i am a bad dev for not hacking facebook for them.
Use that big stupid head to sometimes think straight and stop being a little twat.

Finally Spend two fucking days debugging shit until I figured it it. Freaking stupid shit encoding problems and old data combined isn't fun. Dafuq why can't everybody use UTF-8 or Unicode or something else but PLEASE stop using some old school IBM shit codepages.
Leckt mich doch am arsch mit diesem scheiß man -_-

It is a sincere request to all the people who are asking for a backup of their files and documents, to please stop pestering us regarding the same.

We can't possibly collect your data, and even if there's a way, it would be nearly impossible for us to find your data from billions and billions of files and directories.

Citizens are requested to please understand our problems.
Have a nice day :)

trying to relax on a Friday night, but can't stop thinking about the code at work

!rant

Can't stop smiling when I look at this battery life ^___^

Feeling very sleepy.

Me: Just one more feature and am off to bed.

Completes feature using 2x normal time.

Me: I just did a feature whiles feeling sleepy, I can do it again.

Can't think, can't type. But won't stop.
Wake up next day. What the f*** did I do here ?

I don't exist anymore.
💤💤💤

Dear company, stop installing shit on my work laptop! I guess you love these antivirus and tracking software but I can't do my job with so much slowness.

Why can't people just stop using IE?

RANT!

I need to stop Procrastinating FFS.

I have a todo list bigger than my arm and just can't seem to get anything done.

Any tips to beat Procrastination?.

And just don't procrastinate doesn't work 😂.

I'm at a casino and can't stop thinking about how these terrible machines are programmed, and how likely I am to lose any money I bet.

covid is making life hard again. I can't just stop in the middle of a research project because I can't access the robots anymore. *makes angry noises* I already canceled a human study because of covid, so this feels super unfair.

but you know what pisses me off even more? the govt complaining about numbers being high but not doing jackshit about active disinfection of air and public spaces (China did that, btw) or providing cheap disposable masks for people.

Also, I'm not as much afraid of getting covid as I am afraid of giving it to the head of the department who is a 70+ yrs old genius in his own right.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.

... This is shit.

Fuckaholics finding it difficult to say "You can't stop us from tracking your fucking ass".

Current lappy got about 4GB RAM and not enough cores. I can't even run krita without it slowing down more the more I work on a file.
It would be frustrating if only I wasn't so depressed.
So yeah, due to being broke and lack of nerves, I'm gonna completely stop working on the comic for now.

I joined ACM (Association of Computing Machinery) when I helped my friends found out school's chapter.

I haven't had time to explore all it offers (other than free access to books I'm using for my certs), but I got an email saying they elected Cherri Pancake as President and I can't stop laughing. I feel a bit bad for the lady, as she may have had no say in her name (if it's her maiden name), but it's a wonderful name that makes me happy.

Boss: "do you have a minute?"
Me: "sure"
Boss: "I have this problem, can you just stop doing whatever you are doing and fix it for me?"
Me internally: *no I don't, what I'm doing right now is fixing another one of your problems for which you've interrupted other work already"
Me: "Yeah sure, gimme some time"

Can't afford to fail my internship and I don't want a shitty work environment which I why I don't speak my mind...
But man this is tiring...

Raging here, overheating really. One spends thousands on technology that is promoted with the catch phrase "it just works", yet here I am, after updating my fancy new emoji maker (iphone x) to 11.2 and then attempt to carry on working by compiling my code to test some new features. And...

oh, whats this xCode? You have a problem? You can't locate something? You can't locate iOS 11.2 (15C114)... sorry and you think that this "May not" be supported in current version of Xcode?

Let me get this straight you advanced piece of technological wizardy, you know you are missing something, you in fact know what it is, you can actually TELL me what is missing and yet, still, in 2017, you can't go FETCH it?????

Really? All you can do is sit, with that stupid look on your face, and watch the paint dry? Your stuck? That's it?

I hate you for the false pretense of advanced capability. and for your lack of a consistent dark theme so my eyes stop bleeding when reading your "I don't know what to do" messages...

By the way, maybe you can stop randomly crashing, or pinwheeling, I get that your bored as a machine designed to crunch numbers/data/code all day long and that for fun you feel you have to add some color to your subsitance. But stop it. Do what I'm told you can do, "JUST WORK" for once without me having to drag you forward kicking and screaming.

K. that feels better. Now for some whiskey.

When it's 4 am but you can't stop scrolling through devRant's all time top rants

"Even JS can't stop him" made me LoL

I feel like I've ranted this before. many times. but here we go again because Australia.

why do people think you can just ban math? like really?! that's what crypto laws do. they require companies to use shitty math. and what prevents me from using the good math? nothing! oh I mean... I won't use it? scouts honor.

you can't ban math.
literally billions of internet users don't fall in your jurisdiction.
no single jurisdiction can cover more than a subset of the internet.
I will use whatever maths I damn well please.
fuck off. please stop making us less safe.
/discussion

So the US Congress decided that the online privacy of it's citizens do not matter. What steps do you guys take to maintain your privacy ? I can't even convince my friends to stop using fb messenger and move onto Signal.

As time goes on.. I see my friends, whom I studied programming with, just stop learning new things.
They think, or just behave, like they know everything worth knowing.
You can't talk to them about programming outside of work anymore. They just say that programming is "something you do at work".
I used to look-up to those people, and learn a lot from them. Now, they don't care enough to Google "what's this Rust thing people talk about?".
That really saddens me.

When you get a ticket saying that a user can't see a record so the system must be broken, then after an hour of looking into it; said record never existed... Please stop wasting my time -_-

I just got ran off the road, in real life. My heart won't stop beating. Not a joke, or a funny story, I can't seem to relax.

OK can we agree the WORST feeling is when you're just sitting around consciously procastinating and you're just overly aware that each second that passes is more time wasted and you like watch hours pass and you're STILL procastinating and you CAN'T STOP and your panicked brain is trapped inside a body that refuses to be productive and inside you're screaming but outwardly you're just eating chips.

Audacity repository being on fire for the new privacy policy is something I just can't stop watching ... I love it.

Worst disturbance while working?

Actualy: devRant... Just discoverd this! Can't stop reading :)

You know what's better then the Twilight love story (or any love story for that matter)?

The contract between an Indian client and an Indian Vendor. It's the perfect marriage!

Both hate each other, can't stop fucking each other, one pays money to the other and the other gives head to one, the underlings are always caught between who should be followed and both of them DONT LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE!

happy married life, buggers.

We have this lovely little old lady who works in QA and whenever she finds a bug she goes across the office to the developers desk and taps them on the shoulder and spends like 15 minutes explaining and showing the bug...

This is infuriating as you lose all concentration on what you are working on and wastes so much time... But I can't bring myself to tell her to stop just can't find kind enough words. She's a lovely person and means well but it seems her world runs a lot slower than everyone else's.

I can't stop the urge to buy Udemy courses. Help!! If I don't stop, I go broke cause I'm still aiming for a job.

I wrote a Stateless module in ruby, now I can't stop looking it. I think I'm in love with my module.

That's normal? I need help?

OMG people please stop being so fucking lazy... help me help you... RN I have multiple support people asking me to fix a bug that they can't even describe (and honestly I doubt it exists) and a fellow developer who refuses to give me a DB or migration to test his patch but wants me to merge it urgently. FOH and die, y'all.

The philisophy I am following for building my new PC isn't "What can I do with this kind of hardware", it's "what CAN'T I do with this kind of hardware"

I stop shopping when my answer is "Nothing"

When u have to study but can't stop coding

Alright, so I am going to start doing dev streams
twitch.tv/retraxa
I am going to stream with @ewpratten at some point tonight. Were gonna be working on robot code and my personal website. I have literally 0 reputation on Twitch so if this doesn't work out I can't really loose. If y'all wanna stop by and give us some stuff to converse about, cool articles or extreme politics and our belief systems go ahead.

Code freeze is such an idiotic concept. What year do we have? Just make a goddamn release branch and do your codefreezy things there. Why the fuck would we stop the entire development just because you can't figure out git?

Writing a paper in Microsoft Word and I can't stop pressing esc then :w when wanting to save,or :wq when wanting to save and quit, or :q! when wanting to rage and quit.

Anyone else sometimes feel they just can't stop coding?

I feel a renewed love for Dilbert strips

Can't stop reading them

The IT guy my parents had often at their home.

This guy thought me how to manage our network, how to create mobile apps. How to debug problems and so on. He sparked so much interest for computers in me and now i can't stop fiddleing around with computers.

Also this "electrician" who worked for my parents.
Basically he fixxed old keyboards, loudspeakers and stuff like that. He thought me about resistors, transistors, blue prints and how to solder stuff.

"Lötzinn blödsinn"

They both started my journey into the rabbit hole of technology.

Write a piece of code that works just fine and it's fairly extensible in 20 minutes.

Then proceed to spend the rest of your night rethinking and replacing said piece of code numerous times, with slightly more elegant code.

7 hours later and I'm still not done. Although a fine way to improve your skills, I seriously need to stop doing that for every single thing I write and start managing my time better. Got lots of other stuff I need to be working on...

Surely I can't be the only one doing this

A question arose in our office today and I can't stop thinking about it:

If you imagine your life as a file lying somewhere, being steadily changed and expanded - of which filetype would it be and why?

Help I Can't Stop Writing In CamelCase.

It's been a minute.

But I've got to fucking say this in brief.

Managers who are bored of their jobs - get a fucking job you actually love and keep you productive.

Stop making our life a hell just because you can't fucking figure yours out.

Selah!

Anyone else sometimes feel that coding, programming call it what you want. Has taken over their lives and fucked it up!!!

Some times wish I never started this shit. But can't stop, it's like an addiction.

Why can't laptop makers stop putting windows as the default OS in their systems.. I don't wanna pay extra for some pice of crap I'm going to throw out anyway..

*Have idea.

*Start thinking about it.

*Start seriously thinking about it.

*Push yourself to do it.

*Have a mini unconscious panic attack that tells you you're gonna fail.

*Do something else completely unrelated to what you wanted to do.

*Feel good about the meaningless shit you just achieved.

*Recognize you're procrastinating.

*Try to stop.

*You can't cause you're stupid and lack the control and discipline to trick your own mind.

*Watch video about how to overcome procrastination.

*Get a more firmer understanding of it.

*Realize you're a helpless piece of shit.

*Cry till dead inside.

*Resume daily mindless shit.

can't stop laughing - part 2

can't stop laughing!

I wanna learn something new but everytime I take one course I stop at the first video u.u

It's like I can't keep on the learning curve of anything unless I have the real need to do it :/

In addition, everytime I want to retake the course, a new/unknown technology is in front of me and well... everything starts again

Coding is like the minds virus for me. I can't stop, but I sometimes question if it's good for me. Work is ok nowadays, but keeping a balance in hobbies is so hard. When I discover something new that's fun it can eat me up for days. But that excitement can leave just as quickly with very few projects ever finished as a result.

Just found hackthissite !
AMAZING! I just can't stop doing challenges!

Data Scientists/Researchers

Stop building libraries.
You can't build libraries.
You're not software engineers.

Write your script as plainly as possible.

Why?

Cus for every fucking paper that has code associated with it, unless it's from Meta or Google, I'm having to edit to make shit work.

Stop over-engineering shit.

Write your model and fuck off.

Have you ever thought about quitting coding and going down another career path? You can't. Coding is a desease that sits in you giving you urges to code. Never thought about it until now, but I could never stop coding!

So it's been awhile since I switched from PHP to Golang.

At first I missed PHP a lot, but golang really has some advantages, so its fine.

But over time, and when the project grows in features, I more and more and more start to miss more and more at least basic classes / inheritance and abstraction friendly stuff from php.

Im finally reaching the point where I start to truly miss php, I can't stop myself after writing a feature to think how much less work that would be in php.

Call me crazy, but damn, it's real.

Hey Google, please stop ignoring 3 out of 5 words in my search queries ever so often. I have been getting tired of the unhelpful note "missing: " followed by the most relevant parts of my question.

Can't wait for Microsoft to add openAI to Bing. While I'm more than sceptical about its use, at least it might end Google's quasi-monopoly in the search engine market and bring back some competition.

What the hell is it with WordPress people. Just read a rant where this dude is calling himself a "developer" . What the hell you're not a developer stop calling yourself a developer. All you do is click and drag pictures into squares. And type plain English into text boxes. Using software thay an actual developer actually did develop. You don't see me on cook rant calling myself a cook you know why cuz I can't cook. Leave don't learn a respectable language and get back to me. And no HTML is not a language.

I can't wait to open Medium every morning and discover what I should stop using that day

I have ADHD. If you don't know what that means, for me it makes me a better software engineer. I can't do repetitive, so my code is by definition DRY. If someone needs help, I'll notice and help because my brain can't filter out the emotion of someone struggling. I fixate on problems I don't know how to solve, I literally struggle to stop myself. The list goes on. But, at its heart, who gives a shit?

I'm a software engineer, and I'm good at what I do. Does anything else matter?

Fucking hell. When you go to bed sorta early, but can't stop thinking about your latest project for some fucking reason. So you wake up hours later STILL thinking about it, thus you aren't even sure if you slept at all. Doesn't feel like it. What the fuck? Programming, are you my goddamn love interest or what? Anyone knows the feeling?

Worst part of being a dev is that feeling that you're walking up the down escalator. Can't get ahead and if you stop, you're back where you started.

Oh and some punk kids keep passing you on the way! Lol

Minor annoyance
You can't "click" on a touchscreen! Stop telling me to click buttons on my phone.

Thx to a close friend :)

His mom is currently "bored" after she came to germany recently (getting too old to live alone)

Kartoschka, Oreschki, Pelmeni, Wareniki, Beljaschi, Bliny....

I got a ton of food and beer.

I'm in heaven. That's the best that has happened in the last months.

I'm working on something. An i can't stop myself from browsing devrant every 10 minutes. Damn !

My boss keeps touching and poking my colleague's and my laptop screens. Our laptops are both Mac and are not company property. My colleague once told him to stop. He said sorry, but after 5 minutes, he did it again. It's so annoying. Why can't people understand that if it's not a touchscreen, they should keep their manners and not touch it?

Why isn't this ready for testing yet?

Could it be that despite multiple meetings emails and face to face conversations none of you have provided me with what I actually need?

Yes I can create you new email and SMS campaigns. But I need two little things first.
1 The template text.
2 The sign off forms from compliance

Without them I can't do shit. So stop chasing me on where we're at because I've been chasing you on this for two weeks.

This shit here is why I'm the grumpy It guy.

Guys, I have all symptoms of wasting time in bad work (can't stop thinking about it, anxious, can't relax, can't focus on a hobby, etc.)

But - how the hell you can know if next company won't be even worse? How can you be at least basically sure that today's "bad" isn't that bad in comparison to your next employer?

So a few days ago windows decides to update. No alerts, nothing. Just a random update. 4 HOURS LATER it's still going "hi, we have a new update for you". By hour 5 it's finally done. My wonderful new desktop is a black screen with broken keyboard drivers (mouse still works somehow) and the other user accounts are also broken (but explorer somehow still loads). Then these motherfuckers have the nerve to send a dialog saying "congratulations on updating Windows to the latest version" ...... ;-;

reinstalled windows and everything works again. just need to download ~500Gb of programs on a >1mb/s connection.

fml

ps. this is my first rant, sorry if it's a bit incoherent.

I fucking give up. Typescript is not meant for complex projects. It's meant for simple projects that are big. There's no way forwards, no matter how much I try to simplify my types I simply can not get the typescript server to stop lagging out the moment I do anything complex. It can't fucking do it, it just can't. And that sucks really, really hard.

I'm so tired of finding the ceiling on everything. I had a bad smell for typescript when it came out... and I never should have expected any more than this.

What's wrong with motivation?
Each time I have a great idea at work, I stop working, I search for informations and then, when I'm home, I can't motivate myself to work.

When you get into good company but end up in bad team. Worst thing to happen. I want to quit. But as of now I don't have any option.

I am way too triggered. Any one tries messing with me anymore at work, I won't be able to stop myself. I am gonna shout....take out all my anger. To hell with you assholez! I don't care if you get me kicked out of team or job! I can't take it anymore. FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!

Being on personal leave for a funeral but can't stop thinking of what I have to do when I get back to work 😣

Sometimes I see other ranters' usernames and they are so cool!. I feel bad for going with my default username.

Goldman Sachs analysts - hey, please could we stop working 95 hour weeks? It's really getting silly.

David Solomon - Hey, I'm really glad you brought this up! But screw you. Work harder.

...yeah. Even ignoring the morality of the situation, that was a commercially stupid move. I can't think of a single person that would now want to apply there, analyst or not. Can't help but feeling they've lost a lot of potentially great dev talent over the coming months & years.

The fuck is up with venv, conda, pip, pip3, python3, CRYPTOGRAPHY_OPENSSL_NO_LEGACY and "you can't install packages in docker based environments" DUDE STOP WHAT THE FUCK

How the fuck is that the scripting language of choice? It has by far the most confusing and messy runtime setup. Like it's easier to make sense of Javas version-shenanigans than this bullshit.

And then you think well what gives. Runs > python ...
"This environment is externally managed and you can go kill yourself, JUST LOOK UP PEP-666" LIKE NO YOU FUCK, JUST RUN THE FUCKING SCRIPT!

It's nice you thought about separation of versions but DOCKRR DOCKER DOCKER THERE ARE CONTAINERS WHY THE FUCK DO YOU DO SOME BULLSHIT WITH ENVS IN FOLDERS REQUIRING SOME RUNTIME BULLSHIT WHAT NO STOP WWHYYY

Anyone else get quite burnt out even after, like, 4 hours of programming? I usually feel like a zombie and can't think properly. Will this eventually stop happening?

Sequel or S Q L?

I find myself dipping between the two recently depending on who I'm talking to. It's driving my insane and I can't stop myself -_-

I have been working on my javascript project since morning, so i decided to switch to the C project, but i can't stop typing console.log and having the compiler yelling at me.
Am only working with array of characters, but the void.

I have a crush on my single, young manager. He sent me request on facebook recently, although he has befriended almost everyone in the office, I just can't stop thinking about him.
Please help me, give me good reasons that it's a stupid crush, I literally can't stop thinking about him.

Can't stop laughing

I was considering starting a business with a coworker something like dfox-trogus duo...

But damn he can't even stop pushing unfinished changes ... Its not bug... Its bug+unfinished... Bugs I can handle...

Now I really think I might be better alone

"You can stop a man, but you can't stop an idea " - knowledge

I just can't stop writing shitty code.

[Working on some really "urgent" report for an about to publish project]
dev: client, can you explain what this value is? we can't figure it out and we though tha...
client: im gonna stop you right there, DO NOT Analyse! we dont have time for silly questions, if the design says there's a 10, just put that freaking 10 in that place...
dev: but sr, we need to...
Client: what did i say? just stop saying things and build it!

I hate people aren't as smart (?) as me so their suggestions don't make sense and I can't ask any questions

and then sometimes if I try to ask them anyway they think I'm just criticizing them and get defensive

I just wanna know how things work.
STOP FLAILING

Immediately start coding every feature all at once as fast as possible. After about a week I realize the architecture is so bad I can't continue so I stop, and design the architecture properly so it will scale. Then I delete everything I had and start from scratch. Finally after about another week I lose interest and let it rot in the side project graveyard.

Rinse and repeat.

FUCK YOU WORDPRESS wtffff with that shit , i can't use multisite if running in 8081 port ?, fuck you! your """ cli """, your media folder with that month and year stupid subfolders, your plugins and your fucking unit test running on a complete WP instance. GO FUCK YOURSELF! stop with that shit and remake all that shit.

Win 11 has made my computer use MISERABLE!!!
The sound keeps going out. The shit won't print right, no detail, no light and dark, always too light or too dark and Nothing like I edited it in GIMP. Fucking Shit!!!!! I want these designers to have permanent scabies. It won't print the objects the size Ichose. It keeps having to reinstall printers after every update. There are 5 clicks for what used to be 1 click. Did people magically stop getting carpel tunnel!??? The copy/paste and other icons are thin, same color almost as background and anyone over 50 can't SEE them!

All i want to do is write code. Give me time, space, and stop bothering me so often and I can fix the shitty outsourced code. I can do it, really. I can write a ton of resdesign docs and improve so much shit. But I can't do ANY OF IT BECAUSE THESE FUCKS ARE ALWAYS PAWNING OFF WORK ONTO ME AND REFUSING TO LET ME GET MY HANDS DIRTY.

Stop asking me to email people. Stop asking me to update documentation that isn't for my features. Stop bothering me. Stop. Fucking. Bothering. Me. All. The. Goddamn. Damn.

Stop it stop it stop it fucking stop. I don't care about the PM's dumbfuck braindead statements and always wanting to pick a fight with me. I don't care that x environment is down. I don't care that your shitty overseas programmers can't tell their own ass from their head. I do care that I have the skills to fix it if you would give me the fucking time and space.

Instead of having me do all the mundane tasks that your shitty ape programmers could do overseas, let me have some fucking room to breath and I can fix this shitty fuck of a project and Maybe I can save it before it collapses on itself you dumb fucks

Holy shit im pissy today

When you feel like you are getting so much stuff done, that you don't want to stop!!!

Need to get some sleep though!

When you get the big enter button & can't stop slamming your fist on it.

So I'm a junior candidate & keep getting senior , way senior job reqs. There's no way you can put job preferences on Dice so I had to put "Jr/Entry Level only" at the end my name lol & still keep getting these.

I think they don't even look at your resume. Just blast out emails hoping they get something.

Its like shooting a rifle in the sky all over & hoping you've hit the target.

If you can't write code please get the fuck out of our way! Stop applying for our jobs! Take a nap on the nearest highway during rush hour. That's all.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.

Does anybody know of ways to stop that horse from calling you an asshole as they die of thirst?

Someone deadass linked killedbygoogle.com in the comments of Google Cloud Next. It got deleted pretty quickly, but I can't stop loughing.

@dfox
There's one thing I hate about devrant...
While I'm browsing posts I can't check back for my posts or exit the app or I'll have to scroll down again (gets messy after like 50)
That means I just stop watching for the rest of the day.
Suggestions:
3rd button to mark as seen and don't show on post lists
Add a mark on last seen post so it will continue there when we return to browsing.
Thank you for this community once again

Waiting to find out results of interview. Dying. I need a change so bad.

Can't stop thinking about questions I wish I would've answered better but I have skin crawling anxiety during interviews and I haven't had one in a loooong time 😭😫 fucking fuck shit fuck universe help me out.

I love programming drunk! I can't sit still and always want to do stuff. When I'm drunk / tipsy I come up with ideas and start working on it. Most of the time in the morning, when my mind is clear, I'm not so creative and open minded as I'm drunk. Sometimes my ideas ain't that bad, but I loose interest in developing it any further. So I stop working on it.

This is a while == true loop

Ffs... installed devRant, checked my long forgotten twatter, looked at my fb and now I can't stop browsing soc media. In 2 hours I managed to write only 10 lines of code 💩

I don't know what's wrong with me this morning. I started refactoring, and I know I'm overdoing it. I can't stop myself. I'm stuck fiddling over it like a meth head scratching his skin.

Please stop me. I'm hurting the code.

I'm working on a project that is being shipped to production this friday, so we're killing all bugs and finishing all remaining features.
Sadly, one of the main devs just took his vacation last friday for THREE WEEKS, and being the small team we are, it feels like we'll need to work non-stop extra hours every day to meet the deadline.

The problem is, I can't sleep right now and it's 2:30 am, so fuck me.

My parents love the fact that I code and study computer science! They've always been super supportive of what I do. I just can't wait until they stop asking me to put on netflix whenever they want to watch a movie 😭

Every time I appy for an IT job I can't stop to think about the time I accidentally wrote my root password to a discord group chat instead of the terminal window next to it.

Marketing tech of over 25 years in this company asks this at least 2 - 3 times a year, "to find the percentage, take the small number and divide by the big number right?"

NO. NO. NO. NOOO! NOOOOOO! God dammit. You're a grown man.

That empty feeling when you realize you can't stop process's with ctrl-c ..
#justwindowsthings

At what point do you stop optimizing queries and realize it's a database architecture, scaling problem?

We've been having production issues this week because a lot more users with more demands, and I'm going we need more servers... We can't just have one db, we need to parallelize like Hadoop...

Everyone else is going, how do we optimize queries, indexes, reduce the load...

...just download our new app! NO! FUCK YOU! What do you think you deserve storage space and permissions on my phone? Make a responsive site or webapp or I will not use your service. Why does everything need a fucking app? Oh, you bought a new car? Download an app! New appliance? DOWNLOAD A FUCKING APP! Just bought a new Samsung phone, but already use all of Googles empireware? WELL HERE IS ANOTHER CALENDAR/MAIL/EVERYTHING APP FROM SAMSUNG THAT YOU CAN'T COMPLETELY DELETE! This needs to stop.
/rant
Thank you for listening

Hold a meeting that the participants actually want.

The biggest time wasters I had to attend were:
- "generic weekly meet up of people not working together telling what's new on their side" (I don't work with you, I DON'T CARE)
- "management wants updates/wants to talk about doing instead of letting us do" (go read Jira tickets, and ffs stay out of the experts' field... They're experts in it for a reason)
- "no agenda, this is just to get to know each other" (I get to know people on my own terms, stop forcing what can't be forced)
- most Scrum meetings (some people need guidance, I don't! Your Scrum chains actually hinder my productivity! Can we please stop wasting my time and nerves?)

And the best meetings? A couple of coworkers realizing "hey we need to make a decision here, let's book a conference room together" and "hey you know your stuff about xyz, can you teach us what you know?".

There is a kid in my Computer Studies class that will not for any reason stop playing Bo Burnham songs. He also thinks it's funny to play every sound in our Flash library that the teacher gives us. kill Me now

I hate that the company that I work for has every hugging page blocked. I can't even download or use pip. For hug sake, I don't even have a project to work on and you stop me from working on any side projects?

I hope I get a call from the places I've applied for.

"Sweet, I fixed story 1 and can commit! ...but issue 2 is pretty small, let me just work on that first so there's 1 pull request".

4 hours later, issue 2 not done yet, and I can't push push story 1 to QA until I finish it. I really need to stop doing that.

I think I have a logic fetish. I can't stop coming to conclusions.

I'm the kind of person that can type without looking at the keyboard. But... I don't really know how to type, I just do it unconsciously. But when someone reminds me of the keyboard, or I think on the keyboard. I can't stop looking at it when typing. Suddenly I forget how to type. fuck fuck fuck now I can't stop looking at it.l ksajfn;laksj fpdsbaf;dsajfn

You know you've found the right one when you can't stop thinking about her even when you're so burnt out you can't bring yourself to touch her.

Damn he still hasn't spoken to me, must be over a week now, normally he can't stop talking to me. I must have really pissed him off telling him it is company policy to not give juniors global admin access on all our servers. He's going to have a hard time in life if he keep that attitude up.

I don't know how to tell but my love to JavaScript is undefined. I can't stop const sharing this information wherever i am.

Me: *randomly streaming myself code just because*
Friend: "So what are you doing"
Me: "I'm trying to parse a file. The specs are here - oh"
Friend: "Oh?"
Me: "I set screenshare to vs code only, so you can't see it"
Friend: "It's alright, just pass me the link"
Me: "Well, this is vs code, so I might as well check if it can display websites"
Friend: "No way you'd need that,"
>browser
* simple browser
Friend: "Please no"
"Enter url here"
Friend: "Stop!"
*loads website*
Friend: *dies of bloat*
Me: "All hail the bloat"
Friend in heaven: "Stop, your bloat will drag me down to hell"

So yeah, bloat can be useful sometimes

!rant
I need tips to survive working with a /r/iamverysmart coworker

Have a issue to deliver today, Xcode start to act weird...

Ok let's just quit Xcode and open again...

"Xcode can't be opened while updating"

Fuck no! Who gave you permission for that, stop! Stop!

Hmm.... boss won't like this

Why the hell are senior engineers coming to me me to debug and figure out issues? I don't even own this code..why should I care? Does your brain stop working as soon as you see the stack trace leave the code you have written? You are getting paid more than I do so go figure it out yourself. Why are you asshats even getting paid more than me? How did you even get there if you can't debug? Again why am i getting paid less than these asshats

So when are all of you going to admit that React.js is useless? It's awful and miserable and doesn't do anything it promises to.

It's not faster to write code, it's not cleaner, it's not easier, it's just a ton of boilerplate and it can't even handle simple animations.

If Facebook didn't create it, everyone would think it's ridiculous and stupid.. Because it is.

Stop trying to be cool and just fucking deliver fucking business value.

Why can't Google spend one whole year without deprecating some API?

I have an app on Play Store and every now and them I receive an email asking to update something until some date because it will stop working.

What a waste of my time >:(

Hey devs!!

I just can't stop myself from sharing this.

Its been two years now ... my junior is working. and now she is handling standalone WP projects.. but somehow her task got stucked so I was asked to help her.

So I just said check the count of variables and she messaged me with code .. Ma'am this isn't working .. Haha.. I mean come on she better can google out atleast for syntax :(

<?php if(count($content2 == 3) && count($interestt2 == 3))
{
print_r($content2);
print_r($interestt2);
}else{
echo "not checked";
}
?>

Devs are users too damnit. Stop making bad UX for your tutorials. Bonus bad boy points if you can't write clearly or spread misinformation.

Rant

I was working a very hard project the VP of engineering asks me what he can do to help. I said find 5 more guys like me who can do the work. He laughs.

He then hires a guy. Who can't do any of the work.

I fire him in 3 months time cause he sucks.

The boss man then complains and says I can't fire all the guys. So I just ban the dum ones from charging my program.

So I get three interns next cause you can't fire coops I figured it would be easier to teach them then to watch a guy peck at a keyboard.

Now those interns just replace all the dum ones and I am happy. Rather work with them. Now everyone else wants my internship to work for them. They all get taken away to work with other teams.

Now I'm sad.
Stop stealing my interns

Hey new batch of interns.
Let's see what they know

I can't seem to find the devRant hat on the store, are they sold out or did they stop making them?! >:o

Github's issue reference menu can't even fit all of the duplicate issues for the one you just opened, you twat.

Stop wasting my time.

For sure you know people who ask you like "hey, you do something with computer, right? I have a problem with my (insert random device here)."
Of course I am looking forward doing so! I was playing with jboss and oracle all the day and like to do more computer stuff! Yes, today, I know it is important because your mom can't play candy crush right now...
No! Stop! After fixing PCs for nearly free in my spare time, I am blocking all these questions now and focus on doing things i like in my spare time. Are you still fixing other people's stuff for free? Stop it. Enjoy life!

I don't understand wtf is happening today..

- in project A, terraform suddenly decided to stop working with kubernetes-related providers -- the CA cert mismatch error. I agree, it should be not working, because there are 2 kube-api severs behind an LB. But why now??? Why was it working for the last 2 months, until NOW????

- in project B, terraform suddenly decided to stop working _correctly_ with kubernetes-related providers -- it doesn't find resources randomly, even though they are available and I can see them via kubectl get. TF_LOG=DEBUG shows terraform sending correct requests to the kube-api, but the response is a 404. wtf... I see those resources present in another terminal window, only using kubectl. wtf....

- my PR in github was commented, I wanted to ask a question seconds later, and I'm getting a 502 from GH

wtf... I can't spot a pattern and that drives me freaking crazy.

Is this the Friday's curse...? IDK

Man, i hate these Windows 10 updates. Can't even boot up system properly anymore. Over an hour and half wasted with failed update installation EVERY SINGLE TIME!!

Happening 3rd time just today!

Why tf you trying to install update if its gonna fail?!!

I wish I could stop getting Windows 10 updates forever. Guys, Any ideas to block updates other than switching to linux?..

Yes ! Just copy paste an entire fucking react dashboard into our NextJs project !

But don't stop there mate. Fuck up your branch and mine too to a point even gitkraken can't tell me exactly what fucking operations you did.

This is my first Next project and my first time working with this new client and it's going tits up in less than a month. Fucking great job.

I actually can't really program but I did my first copy and paste program cause I wanted to annoy a friend by opening and closing his cd drive non stop... Well most people don't know what cd drives are these days anyways... Imagine it like your pc constantly unmounting the USB thumbdrive or external HDD.

Why can't my team including my boss learn to stop making assumptions... And mixing seperate issues into one...

If there's a fucking production issue, first step is to reproduce it... AKA ask what the user did and what he expects....

Not...
User: hey we call this url and get an error
Dev: ok rollback

People that contact me through LinkedIn trying to sell me some marketing shit or asking me about some issue with the service provided by a company that I started but with which I don't have any relation whatsoever since October 2016, which by the way is pretty clearly stated in my LinkedIn profile,…

DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FUCKING READ??? Stop pestering me about that company. I don't have anything to do with it, I can't do anything about it and, even if I could, I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO.

"Can't you just write 'width stop at text'"?
When discussing a grid system cell width

I think they meant it light heartedly, so it's not as bad... (And their not a dev).

Does anyone's productivity ever go down as they can't stop admiring the thing you're building?

How do you stop anxiety when you can't solve a problem in your code?

Finally weekend. Watching two friends playing FIFA 16. Can't stop trying to figure out how the AI is working.