"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

Me if there's no coffee at work:

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ I WANT COFFEE.

┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ) I WANT COFFEE.

┻━┻ ︵ ＼\('0')/／ ︵ ┻━┻

I WANT COFFEE!

ಠ_ಠ Kurt...

ಠ_ಠ Put.

ಠ__ಠ The tables.

ಠ___ಠ Back.

(╮°-°)╮┳━┳

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ NEVER!

— Why do you want to work at our office in Mexico?
— I want to be a señor developer.

Every. Class. In. It's. Own. Project.

When @dfox and @trogus scroll through their devRant feeds, is it considered slacking off at work, or properly debugging their software..? 🤔

I..
Want..
To murder...
Someone...

I will do what i want 😁😁

all i want pls :-)

At a party.

A: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a dev-
A: So you can like... hack things? Can you hack my insta?

ಠ_ಥ

Root interviews for a job

So I've been interviewing for fun lately (and for practice), and it's been going mostly well. This one company in particular looks interesting, and they seem to really like me. This morning was interview #4 with them; tomorrow morning is #5.

The previous interviews were pretty enjoyable, especially the last one where I interviewed with one of the senior devs who gave me his "grumpy old man rails quiz." He actually asked some questions I wasn't able to answer! (Mostly dealing with Rails' internals.) Also when showing me the codebase, there were a few things I hadn't seen before, so it's exciting that I'll actually be able to learn something if I sign on. We ended up talking for almost an hour past our allotted time, and we got along famously. He said he was very surprised I did so well on his quiz because most people don't. Everyone else I interviewed with so far has liked me and gave positive reviews, too.

I don't know if I want the job, but that's beyond the scope of this rant anyway. The real reason for this comes next.

My interview today was with the VP of engineering. It was more of a monologue, as he wanted to give me perspective to see if I actually wanted to work there, but it was still very much a monologue. He's an old white guy who seems to loves to drone, and he never seemed very happy when I responded, so I let him drone and drone. Good information though.

But he's very set in his ways in some regards, and two of them were pretty insulting. We never really talked about technicals, and he just assumed that since I wasn't old and graying that I was a junior dev. He said, and I'll quote: "We run a lean but senior team, so we typically only hire senior devs here. But the dev team is all old white men. There's no diversity in talent, age, sex, race, religion, etc, and I'm looking to change that." He made several more allusions to my more junior level, too. He made a lot of assumptions (like how I'm not comfortable with structure because I've been the only dev so often) and got annoyed when I countered them.

I realize he has no idea of my skill level -- even though he should if he was listening to his team -- but to just assume that I'm not talented because I'm young, and bloody hire me just because I'm female? I don't want to be your diversity hire, old man. 🤬

So I'm feeling angry.
I might still take the job because the it offers considerable benefits over where I'm working (despite being quite happy here), but it will absolutely be despite him.

The death I want ...

!dev

Coffee. I love it.

But with that, I mean *coffee*.

No I don't want a fucking cappucino or a latte or a whatever-the-fuck you call it that is coffee mixed with something not-coffeeish.

I love *coffee* and I want my coffee black and strong as fuck without any bullshit added to it.

dfox please put in a "support us" feature of some sort that lets us watch ads of our own free will. I hate using your resources while not working for it at all.

User: There’s a bug in the app

Dev: How do I reproduce it?

User: I don’t want it reproduced, I want it fixed!

Dev: …

"Cricket Exchange App"
1Million downloads - 4.9* Rating
Was quiet interested
Installed and opened
And wtf is this?

I want this, very badly, very sorely, very much, I want this a lot

Life Coach: "I want a website where I can charge $5,000 for 6 weeks of coaching for [weird life problem very few people have or think about].

Me: "That'll be $5,000."

Life Coach: "That's too expensive for a website."

Me (inner voice): "tHaT's ToO eXpEnSiVe FoR a WeBsItE."

Me (real voice): "Consider it not as a cost but as an investment necessary to obtaining your first customer. Once the first customer is realized, you've paid for the website and the future customers will make you profitable.

Because apparently this douchebag thought writing else is too mainstream. And indentation, that is for noobs.

I’m gonna make this profile picture on my Viber and WhatsApp.

I want this..

that's what I call a rubber duck collection =)

"I don't want to learn about variables and stuff, I just want to build an app."

I just set up a Win10 VM. We have now officially reached the point where it is easier to install Linux than Windows.

I want to create an android app, but I also don't want to re-download android studio...

Choices... Choices...

No Mr. Uber, I don't want anyone even my family to know when I am riding nor I want to know when they ride.

Client: There’s a bug in the app

Developer: How do I reproduce it?

Client: I don’t want it reproduced, I want it fixed!

Developer:🤐🤐🤐

Alleged senior dev in a company I was consulting at 👴: "interfaces? I never use those. I don't believe in interfaces"

Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!

Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!

New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.

FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@dfox Feature request: more features please.
Thanks.

Happened during a hackathon

Had to switch to a MacBook due to my new employer and the layout is driving me crazy!

Almost 20 years I've been typing the @ by altgr+q (German layout).

At the same position is now command.

And command+q closes the current window instantly.

This happened almost 10 times today...

This morning I saw the announcement about new avatars... but I was a bit disappointed because I feel it was missing something... something that I have recently requested a few times....

So I've taken the initiative to create a prototype what I would like.

Anyone else want this?

" I want to show you my playroom "

"You want to play to your xbox ? "

" No . . . "

[50 shades of C]

I want to believe

FUCK THIS GOD DAMN ESSAY I DON'T WANT TO WRITE 2500 FUCKING WORDS ABOUT SHITTY SCRUM OR SOME OTHER BULLSHIT. WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT THIS SHIT WHEN I SHOULD BE CODING. FUCK ESSAYS FUCK ESSAYS FUCK ESSAYS!!

If only they knew the truth...

Boss come all excited... I want this project done right! I want it on time and I want this client uber happy!

Me: Dude ... pick two.

Ugh, fxk. I got a promotion, I'm now a team lead for 4 developers, and I fxking hate it.

They never asked me if I wanted the position, they just threw me into it this week. They ripped me away from the team I had great chemistry with and put me on this other team with people I have no connection with.

To make matters worse, I'm also responsible for production servers of the clients of this team, one has malware even.

On top of all of this, they made me move desks for a new developer to fill my spot.

How do you demote yourself? Why would a company want someone to perform poorly (on purpose, I don't care) than to just keep their employee happy?

/end rant

When you don't want to program an announcement feature

Me searching for some random ideas.

Case 1
Me - I want to create something.
Friend - Can you hack into ... ?
Me - No, bye

Case 2
Me - I want to create something.
Bro - I also want to create one awesome project
Me - Ok, cool

Case 3
Me - I want to create something
Mom - Come, help me with preparation for dinner.
Me - *I have been trapped* Nice move

In this episode of "office drama", we have the head secretary asking me if I want to contribute to the gift for the baby of some guy I don't know well. (I'm new to the office btw)
When I refuse, saying that I don't know him well enough to want to contribute, she says "that's okay, but we won't be collecting for a gift for you once you have a baby. We want to be a '''team''' ".

😐

I just said "that's fair", but maaaaaaaan! Since when is it okay to demand that someone participates in a gift, while ignoring their social or financial circumstances? 😤

Update: went to her office to talk about this "being a part of the team" and clear things up. She said, and I quote "I don't have time for this". And by that, swords have been unsheathed. I guess there is no pleasing some people.

I fucking hate paperwork. I can't switch to the network team for probably 5 more months because it got lost somewhere. I want to put my degree use!! I'm not doing a damn thing with it at the moment 😭😭😭

I don't want no sticker and no stressball, i just want to read some dev rants and design my devRant avatar

I want an office cat

I want a case/skin/idk for my lappy after I finally leave this company. I have this awful habit of associating things with memories. If the memory is bad, seeing the object reminds me of it, and e.g. makes me feel burned out again. So, I want to add a really pretty case to my lappy so it feels like my laptop instead of the company's.

I've found a few really beautiful ones on Etsy and Pinterest, but they're so ridiculously expensive! I really don't want to pay $90 🙁

Does anyone know where I can find alternatives?

I want one!

My company logic behind the system I want and the system that I don't want... And that too for android application development... Duhhhh

I want this button😎

Just installed Visual Studio and Sql Server for a project on a Windows VM. Thought I'd feel comfortable as I started proper development in .NET.

I fucking hate Visual Studio and SQL Server now. The whole setup, Windows, VS, everything just feels horrible, slow, and takes ages to set up to the point you can use it.

It blows my mind that Google, advertisers, and a lot of companies seem to not understand the concept of a need fulfilled.

Google news: If you notify me of an article, and then I click on that notification, you can assume I read it. And you can also assume that I don't wish to read it again 2hrs later! So stop notifying me!!!

Amazon, AdSense, Facebook, everyone else: just because I bought new headphones, doesn't mean I wanna see ads for headphones. Actually it means the exact opposite. I don't want new headphones. I literally just bought some. And I especially don't want the exact same ones. I already have them.

Somehow, the targeted ads are worse than random. That's annoying.

How is this hard?

Client be like :

I want this feature to be added

No I don't,
No I want,
No I don't,
let me fuck you up then I will decide.

Im in an actual deadlock
I can't sleep coz I want to code
I can't code coz I want to sleep

I want to program, but I don't want to program 🤔😩

Am I alone in this?

As a developer, I want to write clean code and I want managers that understand the importance of clean code. I don’t want to work with people who force me to deploy untested code because "we need this feature working today".

I want my dual-monitors :c Seems like I need to double my amount of upvotes then. But I want to match my avatar to my real setup! :c

I want that monitor...

Found out a senior dev threw me under the bus for a mistake I made while coding and it affected my raise. Not only was I never initially informed of the mistake, I was never told what went wrong and why it needed fixing. We also don't implement code reviews or anything of the sort. Seems like a great avenue for improvement and growth, right? 😑

I want one.

I want to cry.

I think I want to work for devRant

I don't want to work
I don't want to work
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I feel dead
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
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I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't want to work
I don't...

i'm sick of working for others, i want to start my own company, i want to be a billionaire

I want this

Went back to KDE over the weekend from i3wm. I was getting tired of having to configure my setup manually everytime I wanted to change a setting, and having things break, and having to bug fix said breaks, while also trying to handle Java MVC and node.js dev work.

Nope. Too much. I want the macOS experience but with the control of Linux. Much happier with KDE. It does use about 720MB more RAM on an average session but when you have 8GB does it really matter?

Now to figure out how to get Firefox to play nice with Plasma, or give Konqueror a spin.

Useless machine.
.... I want one

I want heated earbuds.

I discovered osu!

The wish i want...

I left for lunch early to drive five miles away to an abandoned parking lot so that I could cry about an email I received... this week has been fantastic.

I want to be in the terminal, but I don't want to do work. So I type:

brew install cowsay

Now, I have cowsay. This buys me an hour of entertainment.

Guess we are safe from AI after all

WanBLowS, you data hungry piece of shit! WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK MAKES YOU THINK THAT I WANT TO SIGN IN?!! Motherfuckers!!!

"Unable to capture the screen
This application or your company does not allow you to take screenshots."

I think it's time for root...

I want that link too!

I want to fight climate change because i want my snow back.

This is what matters.

Economical reasons? Nah
Being nice to earth? Nah
Doomsday reasons? Nah
I want to see snow in my city again? Yes!

GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES. MANY PEOPLE RANT ABOUT JOB HUBTING AND INSANE REQUIREMENTS. SO HERE IN SPAIN I'M SURE THE SITUATION IS WORSE. NO FUCKING JOBS. WHEN YOU FIND AN OFFER THAT DOESN'T MENTION PHP, JAVA OR COBOL OHH. YOU NEED TO BE A FUCKING WP, FULL STACK, ANDROID AND IOS DEVELOPER, A FUCKING SYSADMIN AND HAVE 99 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. SO YOU CAN SAY: hey search a junior offer! YEAH SURE ONE SECOND. 4-15 FUCKING YEARS OF FUCKING EXPERIENCE. GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES AAAAH

Taking a database class, prof insists on using Microsoft Sql server 2014. "Okay cool" said the Microsoft surface fan boy inside me as I installed it. "Holy shit this is using 6 fucking GBs?? Eh it's okay I trust" again said my Microsoft fanboy self. Finished installing, makes queries and it works. Cool.

Go to run Sql server again next day and get an error (nothing displayed, just a box pop up and then a crash) I use some Google skills. Change a bunch of shit and still it persists. "Just uninstall it and reinstall again" says my prof. I do so except random errors during installation saying Sql already exists even though I just uninstalled it. "Maybe it's some registry keys messing with it!" do some digging, remove unneeded registry keys and try again. Installation finished but a whack of features say failed to install.

I sit and try to work this shit out for the next four hours (not paying attention to my class) and still can't get Sql to completely uninstall itself. I try iobit uninstaller, command line uninstalling, fucking everything but still not working. Slowly my fanboy side is wishing that the windows symbol on the back of my machine was an apple.

I ended up having to backup all my files and reinstalling windows to get it working properly. Holy sweet fuck. The worst part is when this class is done ill probably need to reinstall yet again to save the 6gb it's sucking up. So if you're not sure whether you need something as heavy as Microsoft Sql server or not for your application, don't use it! It's a fucking virus that is super difficult to remove.

Tldr: life long Microsoft fanboy becomes apple convert in a day of using Microsoft Sql server.

I want my winter back

i want this.....

- be me
- get home hook laptop up to tv, realise you left your wireless mouse at work *fuck*
- remember you still have a wireless keyboard and are pretty handy with shortcuts *duh*
- use keyboard magic, launch Netflix and play the show you want to watch *yay 🎉*
- realise the fucking cursor is over the play bar so you have to get up anyway. *fuck*

These days keyboard shortcuts can only take you so far.

It was then, after three hours of trying to get random tests to pass that she realized that when she refactored to make the function more verbose and to add comments, she had accidentally typed one `&` instead of two. And it took someone else looking at it to notice.

Words cannot express how frustrated I am with myself.

I want to try this

Have to write a 1,000-1,300 word paper on the top trends of my chosen industry. I am therefore researching crimes using computers and other technology. I'm loving the research.

However, I have no idea how to tone my research down so I don't end up (back) on a list for odd Internet searches, and I don't think I want to be on a international list.

Tips for researching the hell out of this topic without flagging Big Brother and ending up with suits at my door (again)?

Ffs, I just want to get myself a goddamn domain, why is every registrar so shitty? Each of them has a major downside that makes me go away from their site! Bad payment options, way too high prices for a domain after a year, ...

!dev
I'M SO GONNA GET MY OWN LOCKPICKING SET AND LEARN HOW TO FUCKING PICK LOCKS. I'M SICK OF GETTING LOCKED OUT OF MY OWN FUCKING ROOM. "WHY DON'T YOU USE A KEY?" YOU ASK? GOOD QUESTION. MY JERKBAG ARSEHOLE PARENTS DECIDED TO NOT GIVE ME A FUCKING KEY FOR MY OWN FUCKING ROOM *FOR 6 GODDAM YEARS* SINCE WE'VE MOVED IN. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO THE LOCKSMITH OR SOME SHIT-" DO YOU I THINK I CAN JUST FUCKING WALTZ IN, ASK FOR THE KEY AND BRING IT TO THE FUCKING LOCKSMITH TO GET A DUPLICATE? AS IF THEY WOULD!!! AND NOW I'M GONNA GET EITHER AN F OR GO FULL SUICIDAL BECAUSE COFFEE THROUGH THE NIGHT IS NOT A FUCKING OPTION FOR ME. BECAUSE ALL THE FUCKING MATERIAL I HAVE FOR MY GODDAM ASSIGNMENT, ALONG WITH MY LAPTOP IS IN MY FUCKING ROOM. THANKS DAD! YOU SURE ARE HELPFUL AS FUCK! FUCK YOU!

Sitting here watching my wife drive toward the house on FindMy.

I'm not creepy. She has a Rueben Sandwich for me. I am tracking the Rueben Sandwich.

4 more miles. Reuben Sandwich.

I want some DevRant Stickers!!

it's so fucking hot in here and I've got no work and still 3 hours left to go...just let me go hooome!

I want a cat.

After a long day of wrestling with some bad code and getting it to 'work' leaves me feeling dev angst. Then on my way home I see some minor bug in a phone app I'm using and I think to myself, "MY GOD.. all software is made out of SUFFERING."

Behind every tiny defect out there lays some poor soul's looong hours of overtime, stress, tears, alcoholism, and stale popcorn dinners.

How can you be called a senior developer when you edit a giant SQL stored without first making a backup....

How to force your self to write unit tests for your personal projects:
1. Go to a public place
2. Forget to bring your phone cable & never install a simulator because you are lazy af
3. Profit!

I just want to merge...

Me: For Christmas I want a unicorn
Santa: Be realistic
Me: Okay I want to write safe code in C
Santa: About that unicorn...

Want to bundle your files: Node.
Want to minify your scripts: Node.
Want to tree shake your code: Node.

FUUUUUCK OOOOOOOOOOOOOFF I DON'T WANT NODE

I've just updated my career interests on LinkedIn selecting only the "Remote" checkbox.
After some hours I received the first offer: «We are looking for [...] Unfortunately, remote work is not an option today, however, we do offer full relocation and immigration support.»

So, still SPAM. Again. Fuck.

I want a sticker!!!!

Our UX guys have all congregated in a conference room and are practicing their joker laughs.

I'm slightly worried.

no notion, i don't want to "ask AI"

i want to write my damn notes

My sister is psychic

The whole email and DNS system is fucked up!

Rant/story

Ok, I've always respected my PM and took everything on me, but since a while I start getting bored at work and realised many wrong things with the company and management in general.

So, brief contextual situation for you guys, I used to be very shy, unconfident and submissive. That was 2 years ago. Now am much more confident and got my own techniques in managing my constant "in the moon"-mind and relational discussions with colleagues. No more stuttering and am now answering on the spot and focussed on the discussion.

So I was having a nice day extinguishing fires on our website, this evening my PM stressly-rushed into my office (which I share with 2 other colleagues), and pressured me into giving a phone call to some developer for a situation clarification: a Json endpoints seems to truncate text after some characters.

Just came back from the loo (not sorry for the details), had my thoughts about something else, as usual, and I was just like "chill, let me get my mind together and prepare myself to be on point for this phone call". Told her I need a few seconds and she was like "now now now" knowing me I'm a bit laid-back.

Grabbed the phone, saw she was laughing (always laughs whatever I do, I must be very funny) and went talking about me to my colleague (not backstabbing but like "I don't get why he needs to get prepped for a phone call"). I managed the phone call like a boss - like usual since I got more confident -, my pm left, I finished the call, went to her to tell her my conclusions on our issue, asked me if I checked the contract with our CMS company.

Told her nope, the Json is compatible with our DB-manager's API.

She coldly answered "right, will do it myself then", I was like ok, I know you won't do it, I'll get it done.

In 15 minutes I found the contract, notified her, analyzed it, and wrote a technical email to support.

Seriously, stop taking me for some retarded person and let me breathe

Huh.

Could not fucking sleep at all.

Spent the entire night in a combination of:

Weight lifting
Playing with NestJS(its fucking beautiful)
Watching seven deadly sins on Netflix(current fav anime)

And i am still not tired. Even then I am not in the mood for going to work.
Not sure if I want to risk it and drive there since I know I will be crashing at around noon.

I hate it when this happens.

During the week I would do crazy shit to try and get me to fall asleep.

I would wake up early. Work out, go to work, get back from work, kill myself at the gym and nope.

Still wide fucking awake.

To make it better, my stomach begins to act up and fucking kill me the more I don't sleep for some reason(although it could be related to me piercing my stomach years ago)

I really dislike being human. Such fragile bodies.

But yeah, NestJS is frickin amazing. Typescript is sexy as all hell with it. Just what i was looking for in terms of out of the box architecture for JS apps

TFW you realize a virus is out performing you on version releases.

I was wondering why every time my my code is accessing the !valid() part to later realize I was coming back to it = its state is reset = I need a break T_T

P.S. if you find anything in my code make sure to let me know :)

But I want to 😡

I want to write something in PHP.

Yes, coming from me, it sounds like stockholm syndrome, but for me PHP is reminiscent of simpler times.

I want to get a server right where I bought the domain, with CPanel, log in with FTP and ~~push~~ (excuse me, _send_) index.php and other files there. I want to open phpmyadmin and throw some stupid fields together that won't work at scale, but "scale" will never happen.

I want to design websites without normalize.css, without any kind of javascript but some silly UI stuff, I want to send emails with sendmail and not sendgrid. I want my gradient buttons back.

Symphony and Laravel can kiss my ass.

A trading bot for cryptos. At first, I just want it to do arbitrage trading. When that's working, I want to implement more complex trading strategies.

Unexpected downside to using a Windows VM for dev related work : once my Windows host (finally) finished updating, I powered on the VM...and that started updating too. FML :/

A year ago I bought an iPhone 7. 3 months later I exchanged it with my brother for a OnePlus 3T.

Now my brother wants it back. 😭

I am so fucking lost.

I literally have zero expectations from life for now and future.

There was a time when I had so much clarity in my life. Rather, I was known for it.
Folks used to reach me out for guidance and my approaches even worked for others.

I was goal oriented and biased towards action. Failing and learning from it, I used to make things happen and with constant feedback kept progressing.

While none of that has changed, I still feel lost and numb. No, I am not depressed or suffering through any mental illness. I am physical active and able to feel the happiness.

But the recent incident with a narcissistic, left me emotionally handicap. I can no longer feel any kind of love or affection. I overcame the damage done and healed myself.

But now, I am done. Even if I engage with anyone for a relationship it would be mostly for sex. I can care for people around me and be affectionate towards them but when it comes to an intimate relationship, I feel it's not something I can do in this lifetime. I tried multiple times but failed.

These days, all I am doing is putting my heads down and working like crazy. Never in my life I worked more than 10 hours in an entire week. Now, I work 10+ hours everyday. During that time, I am highly productive.

And in my free time, I am busy housekeeping different life problems. Either paying bills, figuring out an insurance, planning some investment, or making some kind of life decision.

It's draining me. I feel as if I am losing sanity. But that's the only thing I am able to do.

Maybe it's the lockdown effect. Maybe some damage is yet to be healed.

But I got nothing better to do. I have some good ideas. Not those hipster-ish disruptive Million dollar ideas, but decent enough to solve a problem for a strong use case.

However, all of this is becoming overwhelming these days. Because decision making is complex and difficult task. It can make or break the future.

As of now I am confused how should I go about pursuing two of the important projects that I want to accomplish.

1. Migrating out of Google ecosystem. Is it even practically possible for my use case? What are the alternatives? Planning to opt in for a paid cloud storage so have to factor in that aspect as well.

I want to keep this new setup only for official use like bank and government stuff. Maybe family and close friends. Then have current ids for public logins and sharing it with retards whom I can block or ignore if they harass me. The research is overwhelming but having a structured setup gives insane amount of efficiency when life is spam free.

2. Migrating my Pihole and OpenVPN setup out of Digital Ocean to GCP. Primarily because $5 is a lot of amount for my computational requirements and Google has used my data enough, for me to use the free tier.
However, there isn't a simple script for a tech noob like me, to go ahead and setup something. I did find a Github repository but the documentation is kind of outdated so RTFM failed for me.

I don't know whether to pursue my start-up or let it go and focus on moving to Europe.

It's just so fucking stupid to even exist. And let's not forget taxes. Bloody taxes.

Pet Peeve... If you are a creator, you are largely doing technical content, and the channel is not about your personality. Then I don't want to see your stupid face. I want to see technical info like text, graphics and block diagrams. I don't exactly know why this bothers me, but it does.

IT'S CAPS RANT TIME!
MYSQL ERRORS ARE SO USELESS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

I JUST WANT TO ADD A FOREIGN KEY BUT 'Cannot add foreign key constraint' KEEPS COMING UP, AND THE STACK OVERFLOW ANSWERS INDICATE THAT IT COULD BE -LITERALLY- ANYTHING!

THIS IS OF COURSE, AFTER PHPMYADMIN GIVES ITS OWN ERRORS FOR TRYING TO USE THE DESIGNER TO ADD THE RELATION. IT ONLY WANTS UNIQUE FOREIGN KEYS, DESPITE ONE OF THE MAIN USES OF FOREIGN KEYS BEING MANY-TO-MANY AND ONE-TO-MANY RELATIONS!

When you see a +175 rant and ask yourself, "why didn't I think of that"?

I really dont like Coffee maschines that serve the Coffee Drink ready. If i want Coffee i want it hot as shit

I wasn't cheating, i was just pair programming without the knowledge of the other person!

I kind of want to learn Japanese. I want to be able to watch untranslated anime and understand what they are saying.

Ok people. I got a contract last year with a company, and I was their support for one year, which ended back in February. They still email me for all their problems. I don't know why. They emailed me today, for Christ's sake, on the Saturday of Easter, to tell me that their 3rd party software can't send them emails because the mailserver has that IP on greylist asking me to look into it and find a solution. AS IF I CARE! I'm with my family, taking a break for two days damn it. Panic attack came, my heartbeat rate problem kicked in and now I can't calm down. I'm trying to get into the "I don't give a fuck" mood but I can't, I'm too responsible for that, in the worst dramatic way (the world is gonna end etc).

Piece of advice:
Be very clear next time you come to terms with another company, be precise and don't let them have it their way.

I was working with a stable installation of an elaborated platform. Some plugins were installed. After upgrading the installation by 2 patch level the customer registration was not working anymore.

In these two patch level a method in an interface got an additional optional parameter which had a major impact on the behaviour the implemented method. A plugin decorated the implementation without knowing about the new parameter. Therefore when calling the method the decorating class did not pass the new parameter in to the decorated implementation and the fallback value was given instead.

The caller expected the method to do something and did not branch into an alternative way but the default value disables the expected behaviour. Eventually nothing happened.

Breaking changes in patch levels woop di fucking do.

Three days into my job and the client is asking when we can start my project... Supposed to have two weeks training, and I don't even think that's enough to learn Hybris, so instead of being an angry rant I'm just gonna sit here and be a sad one :(

I can already feel the incoming shame. Shame. Shame...

Afaik the supporter program was for 5 dollar a month.
I want to pay more. Because with the 5 dollar, I don't really feel like I am supporting anything at all.

Prove me wrong, guys.

PS: I don't want to buy anything. I just want to pay more.

Am I the only one who thinks the installation process for arch linux should be narrated by Jigsaw from the Saw movies?

I want a mini replica of a shotgun.
When you pull the trigger I want it to say "Sod off!" in a British accented voice.

Tired of working 12 hour shifts, I want to go to Europe, I want to feel like an actual human fucking being damn it.

I previously said I had no issues with dev teachers, but in fact I DO have them..
I want to get two things off my chest..

First: Last year I waited like 6 MONTHS to get my grades!! 6 FUCKING MONTHS!! And I wasn't even the only one who didn't get their grades!!
Second: Those dev teachers in high school are actually teachers who normally teach about physics, math and we even have a teacher who normally teaches history!! HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO GET A PROPER EXPLANATION ABOUT THE STUFF I SHOULD LEARN IF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT YOURSELF!!

In defense for my teachers:
After 6 months of long waiting, I got my grades and they all were (and still are) an A!! Happy as fuck!!
My teachers at least TRY their very best to teach me something I don't know about the basic stuff.. And that's worth something right..

Good question. The answer? I’ve been having less and less of a social life as time goes on. It’s actually quite depressing but I’m not sure what I want. Do I want to interact with people? Do I not? Do I want friends? Do I not? I can’t tell sometimes.

This binary thing is actually pretty cool! It would be even cooler if we could configure which base to use.

!dev related

I think I might need to visit the doctor soon.

I just can't get hungry and if I do try and eat I feel like shit not even 10 minutes after. Only after many hours of going by without eating do i really feel hunger and can eat without my stomach wanting to kill myself.

Yesterday for example. Ate at around 1 o clock (without being hungry) and not even 5 mins later i was lying down in my couch feeling like absolute shit.

Didn't eat anything throughout the rest of the day and today I am feeling like I could eat an entire horse by myself.

I don't know what is happening to me. I am dropping pounds like crazy and been feeling super tired. Really creeped out at what the doctor might say about why this is happening.

I would like to think that is stress and nothing more.

Behavioral economist. If I can't make computers do what I want, I want to figure out how to make humans do things instead.

Can't come up with ideas right now? Do you feel dull and without energy?

Write a Thesis! The ideas will start to overflow as if there is not enough memory to hold them. Promise.*

Buy now for only 1337 $ 💵

*does not apply to the topic of the thesis though

Trying to redeem my free hacktoberfest shirt. Click the link in the email, pick my size, hit continue, and I'm immediately met with "this website is under heavy load" and the request fails... That's embarrassing.

Please repeat after me:

"I will use 'Content-Disposition: attachment' whenever a file is supposed to be downloaded"

Write that sentence 100 times. Then re-read it every morning for at least one month.

Ahh, I don't even have the strength to rant. I'm so fucking tired of these shitty websites and web services. I should probably become an Amish.

"In the field of psychology, the Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in w/c people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability. It is related to the cognitive bias of illusory superiority and comes from the inability of people to recognize their lack of ability."

Sounds like my coworker to me. If it doesn't work, he blames others. WOW

the average sperm cell contains 37.5 mb of data

I want new spectacles >:(

The Spotify for Linux distros.

Joined small scale-up months ago. I literally want to punch one of my coworker. Constant mental harassement, self-declared lead, rude and impolite. That coworker is socially awkward in the baddest and meanest way.

Oh boi.

Founders seems to not give a crap even if they told me they want a flat hierarchy. They let that coworker off the hook.

Not even mentioning that culture of oppression and repression.

If you're late you must bring chocolate and they'll remind you 256 times a day. Oh boy, I'm not late... I just don't want to come in the office.

Also, the code is atrocious.

What seemed like a dream job at first turned out to be a nightmare. Never been bullied since I started working. Now, I have a bully and a nemesis.

Ooooh boy.

Being on time for that 10 am stand-up meeting.

Yes, all the cool kids are doing it. Yes, sometimes there is a benefit in being in the office at the same time as your colleagues. Yes, communication and backbriefing is important.

Yet why has it to happen at that early early possible time? Yes I know other places are worse demanding to be in office starting from 6 to 9. (I wonder why I don't work there. Oh wait, I don't.) Some companies even try to trick you with free breakfast in the morning. Thanks, but no thanks, I just want coffee.

Here's a crazy thought: You let me do my work on my terms when and where and I guarantee I invest the hours we agreed upon in the contract and try my very best to achieve the current goal, and maybe I'll be a happy and productive employee.

How about that? No. Ok. By the way, is this a good time asking for the possibility to work from remote? Also no? Ah okay. Didn't think so ...

We basically don't unit test at work. I write some tests for my code and honest to God people complain I'm wasting time saying a test bed and manual tests are good enough. We don't write test beds for about half of our production code and rely on integration tests for the rest. We only test release builds which have been symbol stripped, I get handed a crash report with no stack trace that I'm unable to reproduce and expected to stay late to fix it for some arbitrary internal deadline.

I've since moved to R&D where basically I'm left to do my own thing so it's better.

We don't project manage. Project leads take time estimates and double them so management might cut them some slack. This doesn't matter because management made up time estimates before the project started. Last project I was on had a timeline of 3 months and took a year.

We have released broken products. Not that any of the above really matters, our software products have made about 50k revenue in 2 years. There are 6 people on software. Fortunately hardware has made about 3 mill. That said our hardware customers are getting frustrated with us as we keep fucking up, shipping broken products and missing deadlines.

I've been working there about a year and a half and will be looking for a job at the end of the current project.

I joined devRant about when I was most pissed off with my job, my rant frequency has definitely gone down since I moved over to R&D.

When there is a coinbaise folder on clients laptop, won't even look into it but temptation is there.

I want to fucking die.

I just want a avatar =/

"I don’t want something special. I want something beautifully plain." - Anne Lamott

So I've started learning vim... why haven't i done this before

I want to have the super-power to do anything I want.

sudo -i

Wait a minute.....@dfox was giving away squishy devrant balls?! ugh I need to rant more. rant rant rant.

I want to create a website with matierial design.

Which CSS framework should I use if I want to keep it simple ?

No, I don’t want to buy a car, Google. I just want the definition of the word, “emission”...

All I want to say: ";"

Tbh it would be:

* Figma app for desktop in Linux, with grids, and offline support.

* Turris Omnia routers - These mini servers are the bane of my existence and I want 2 of those with M.2 SSDs installed.

* My will to live. Yes.

F++ you! You never here when I need you. You force me to sleep when I want to code. You force me to code when I want beer. I hate you, time!

I have a demo meeting tmr but the web app written by the junior dev is in crap state. Forget about new features and bug fixes, I probably won't even be able to correct and clear all the spaghetti codes. So instead of working on it, I am trying to encourage myself by creating quotes images.

For my graduate level people(aka Masters degree students or holders)

How normal would you say that: giving dense ass lectures in NN with absolutely NO practical examples and just a fuckload of theory + 1 simulation project in Pytorch in which a robot is to detect collisions is?

is it normal? i mean I knew about Pytorch from a very shallow overview, but these assholes gave that project and expected it completed in a week with a fuckload of dense ass lectures and no practical exmaples.

I know school is supposed to be hard, that is not my gripe, but in yalls experience are teachers more descriptive and fun in other institutions? do I just have shit luck with teachers? I don't feel like wasting my money. If your experience was better then let me know, cuz I want education yes, but i want it better.

Dear Chrome, how about when I paste something starting with https%3A%2F%2F into the address bar you get up off your lazy ass and url-decode that shit for me? Ain't nobody got time for this.

I want to dual boot my win10 PC with Linux, but I can't decide if I want Debian 8 or Ubuntu. What do you guys think?

lord knows I have missed devrant. my dad dragged me away on business. the hardest part was parting with my PC. I felt it.........

we buy cashew nuts and have them exported for this random Chinese lady. tried discussing about computers to the village boys but none of them understand anything. everyone is surprised I have a whole computer to myself at home, most have never seen any and just nod their heads like they understand 😂😂😂.
my dad wants me to be a produce exporter I keep hearing things like "there's a lot of money here, if you want to start on your own I'll support you". but then it's hard for him to drop a penny so I can buy a proper PC that is used(I just needed something efficient). I kinda feel like this struggle will make my success story much more interesting but then, what if I dont succeed?

i want to end it

i want to die moment.

Oh my god why is receiving email so fucking hard? I don't want spamassassin, I don't want antivirus, I don't want accounts or fail2ban or any of that bullshit, I just want all email that is sent to addresses under my server dumped in a database or folder so that I can digest them programmatically or display them in a GUI

Fuck motherfucking android 8 fucking sideways. And Huawei for that matter too.
My battery drains like 30% faster since the update from 7.0, with even more app limiting than in 7. I've already ranted about UI stuff, but that is negligible compared to this bullshit.
Also, auto brightness is broken and it keeps blinding me fora few seconds in the dark, and choosing way too much brightness.
I've loved my otherworldly battery life, now I feel like an apple user with 4k mah.
I used to get one and a half day battery, now I barely get through the day.

Making me happy is like optimising an image for the web.

Just strip me, interlace me and give me a sampling factor of 420 😂

I want it yesterday :(

how in the fsck is it possible that people like us can maintain a fleets of servers, create the most amazing applications that drive the world economy, but not figure out how in the mother fsckin world to make our girlfriends iphones backup to icloud. don't bury the shit i want to do under 10 fucking layers of option screens and shit ui because you think your customers are too dumb. apple fail.

So, today this robot really didn't want to move how I want it to move. 😒

Tomorrow, again, I guess.

Smh.

*sobs in robot voice*

I just want some hosted VCS. I don't want to run this myself. I am a developer. Not an ops guy.

I've never understood the website freelancer.com. How can I make a bid if the request is "I want a website" or "I want a simple java application"?

FUCK

Anyone here who graduated in industrial sector engineering fields but managed to switch their careers towards IT/development? Considering that I do have related competences and solid foundations on 2/3 languages.

My job fucking sucks. The pay is good but I'm not doing shit since 2 weeks. Everyone works superslow because there is no shit to do and boredom kills us slowly. My family says that I just need to be assigned to a project and be patient. I don't want a super fast no free time environment, but if there are no challenges any single day what is even the point of getting up in the morning.

It's FUCKING depressing :(

I always want more...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?

Like seriously, I don't want to see this shit. I HADN'T TOLD YOU TO SHOW ME THIS SHIT YET YOU STILL FORCE ME TO. I never set the keyboard to Danish. And in fact, IT'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Then why for he love of god do you think I need to have the option to change my keyboard to Danish when I have insisted on not having this option. Is it because my locale is set to Danish? Is that it? I'll gladly change my locale then ffs, but THIS SHOULDN'T HAPPEN.

My Windows display language is English, when I installed this shit I even set the keyboard to English US, I even disabled the change keyboard shortcut because I knew that for some reason Windows would find a way to add a Danish layout. SOMEHOW.

1am and I'm waiting for my zipped project to finish uploading to OneDrive, so I can send my prof a link to it, because our fucking intranet just gloriously shat itself again -_-... Because a GitHub link is too mainstream I guess?

Ah yeah, deadline was 1h ago, but who cares about deadlines right?...

A colleague said he wanted to call today.
Yeah, today, but not 10 fucking minutes before I planned to go home!

I really want to quit my job , anyone want to hire a guy who can sometimes google stuff ?

I want them back.

Is Aoti a cool gamer name? 😂😂

I want to say thanks

I need a new phone.

Should I buy the oneplus 6?
Why (not)? Or what other smartphone should I buy?

Still on the oneplus one since 3 years, it's time for a new one.

I want to work in backend and my fucking company want me to learn FRP in which I have no fucking interest 😫😭

I Want to use this

At my school we use iPads (I don't know why) and the teachers can see what's on your screen, lock you inside an app, block apps/basically everything, lock/shut down your iPad, uninstall apps and they can even see what's your location. It sucks ass, but with my "professional" hacking skills I figured out a way to hack the system. If I use a VPN, for some reason they can't do anything to my iPad. I'm still waiting for the day my school is going to ditch iPad's an buy us laptops, but at least I can sleep good at night without having my teacher doing stuff to my iPad.

(I have a ton of other things I don't like about my school, and would love to rant about, but I don't want this rant to be 5000 pages long)

I want more coffee, but I don't.
I want more coffee, but I won't.
I'll get more coffee later.

So I got this thing about getting multiple units of things I like for some time. practical examples:

- Got a tattoo, then I got later 4 more(but I think getting more tattoos is pretty standard)
- got one pencil, then I bought 8 more and a can to store then
- Bought a mouse, then now I got 3. (all of them are microsoft it's one of the few things I like from MS)
- Got a laptop sleeve, I got 3 now
- Got a keychain for my car keys, now I have 6
- I got a piercing, then I got 10 more(eyebrows, ears, nose, tongue, mouth). But I removed most of them, a pain in the ass to clean all those jewels
... list goes on

I haven't been with a psychologist, but I'm guessing that could be some obsession/compulsion or I'm just pretty standard and this is kind of normal. Anyone can relate?

Manager to External : <badEnglish>We have problem with data feed, please fix</badEnglish>

External: Here's the situation <gives situation>
Me: Thank you! Here's the situation, but corrected <corrected situation>. Can we arrange a phone call on Friday or Monday?
External: Sure! whenever you like

Manager, this morning: where is the meeting for the phonecall?

Now I'm her fucking assistant. I had a glance a her calendar, it's full of full.

She'll soon ask me to cook for her and make her coffee too...

Shitty I don't have the qualifications for a proper developer job :((

Me: *opens YouTube to catch up on WMC but see's 40 videos on the S9 and nothing else*

Also me: *closes YouTube and hopes for some actuall news tomorrow*

Asked us to build a car and later complain because it cannot fly.
And then, expect us to turn into a plane in 3days?